And Just Like That... (2021–…): Season 1, Episode 8 - Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered - full transcript

♪ Once there was
a thing called spring ♪

♪ When the world was writing
verses like yours and mine ♪

♪ All the boys
and girls would sing ♪

♪ As we sat at little tables
and drank May wine ♪

♪ Now April, May, and June ♪

♪ Seem sadly out of tune ♪

♪ Life has stuck
a pin in the balloon ♪

♪ Spring is here ♪

♪ Why doesn't
my heart go dancing ♪

♪ Spring is here ♪

♪ I hear ♪



Actual tear stains
on the page.

I went through two boxes
of tissues, goddamn you.

I'm sorry about that,
but I am relieved.

Your message was so cryptic,
I was afraid you hated it.

I loved it!
I had to tell you in person,
so you could see this.

- I wanna fast-track it
for the Christmas season.

Oh my gosh.
Oh, that's great.

- I just have one note.
- Okay.

This whole thing is...
so raw and honest,

and, let's face it, brutal.

I mean, you spend
your whole career

writing about
your quest for love,

and then,
you finally find it...

and then he dies.



It's pretty dark.
It's a real departure
for you as a writer.

Well...

that's what happened...
He departed.

But, you're known for
writing "Sex and the City."

I'm afraid if we
publish this as is,

your readers are gonna pitch
themselves out the window

clutching their tubs
of Häagen-Dazs.

Oh, well, that is
certainly not what I want.

No.

I would love, and I think
this is very doable,

if you could give
the reader some
element of hope.

- Hm.
Just a suggestion
of a brighter future.

I mean, for example...
I imagine, at some point,

you're gonna start
dating again, right?

Um, I--

I, I mean, I'm not even
thinking about that yet.

I hear you...

but... if there's
a tiny part of you

that's open to the idea
of even just one date...

it would be great
if it could happen
in the next few weeks.

I would love to hit that
stocking stuffer deadline.

Uh, you want me
to go on a date?

Ooh, just to be clear,
I am just talking about

a toe dip into
the dating pool.
One guy.

It doesn't have
to be a whole chapter.

It could just be
an epilogue.

A single page,
half a page.

Just... lookin' for
that glimmer of hope.

Okay.

I'm here, I'm here.

Sorry.
Sorry I'm late,

but I have good news.

Carrie agreed to be
an auction item

at the school benefit.

- Sorry, it took so long.
- No, that's great.

I'm sorry if I was
being pushy about it.

The benefit committee's
just all over me to get

more flashy auction items.

Oh, and remember,
for this match,

the redhead is
deadly at the net.

Right, and the other one
has that killer serve.

I could barely
return it last time.

Tennis Player:
Let's go! Come on!

- Oh, we can beat these bitches.
- Oh, we can, and we will.

♪ ♪

- Good one!
- Push it!

♪ Face to face,
out in the heat ♪

- ♪ Hanging tough,
staying hungry ♪
Charlotte!

Kill it! Nice!

♪ They stack the odds
'til we take to the street ♪

- Let's go!
- ♪ For the kill ♪

♪ With the skill to survive ♪

- Yeah!
- ♪ It's the eye of the tiger ♪

- Crush it! Yes!
- ♪ It's the thrill
of the fight ♪

♪ Rising up to
the challenge
of our rival ♪

- ♪ And the last
known survivor ♪
- It's yours!

- ♪ Stalks his prey
in the night ♪
Good one.

- ♪ And he's watching us all ♪
-Yeah!

♪ With the eye ♪

- ♪ Of the tiger ♪

I don't understand
where you are.

I'm exactly where
I said I would be.

No! That's the bad vegetable
stand where the guy's mean.

I'm at the good place,
farthest from our house

with the squash...
opposite end.

Steve, can you hear me?

Just find me, okay?!

Hi, um, what are
the green ones called?

Miranda Hobbes, you are
failing heirloom tomatoes.

- Oh my god! Hi!
Hi! Ha, ha.

Okay, I never wanted
you two to meet,
but here we are,

so, Miranda Hobbes,
this is my husband,

- Andre Rashad.
Hey.

- Andre, this is Miranda.
- Hey, nice to meet the woman

- that beat up Chucky
in the subway.
- Oh.

Yeah, I hear things.

It's my greatest
accomplishment.

I, I am still having
nightmares, though.

Hey, should I run over
to the cheese woman?

- I want to stay ahead of
a dangerous cheese shortage.
- Oh.

He's not tryin'
to impress you.

He really
is this cute.

Be right back.

Oh my god.
That kiss.

If you two were a TV show,
I would be streaming you.

Oh, well, it
would be a drama

'cause I got
my period this morning.

Oh shit.
Oh, I'm sorry to hear.

Yeah, we're still,
you know, off the IVF,

but trying, and I was
almost two weeks late.

- Mm.
- I shouldn't have told him.

I mean, the man is good
at a lot of things,

but cautious optimism
is not one of them.

I am dreading
telling him, Miranda.

I am so done
with all of this.

Hey...

This place is bullshit.

Why do they keep movin'
everything around?

Oh, Steve, Steve,
this is, uh, Nya,
my professor.

Hey.
- I have been dying to meet you.

You are the only person
I know who intimidates her.

- I think we intimidate
each other, actually.

Ah, my wallet! Shit!

You know, y-you got me
so freakin' distracted

when you're yellin' at me
about the squash guy,

I left my, I left my wallet
over where the pickle guy

who used to be over
in that corner.

I, I gotta,
I gotta go get it.

Um, really nice to meet you,
Professor, all right?

- Oh, sorry.
- No worries.

So, that's my Steve.

- Here comes my guy,
so would you--
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

- Got the last of the Bloomsday.
Ooh.

- There we go.
- See?

Hi.

Oh, Amanda?

Mm, Carrie. Shit.

- Sorry to drop in,
um, unannounced.
- No, no, no. I love it.

You just caught me
with a milk mustache.
I mean, what am I? Five?

This is my fourth
cappuccino today.

I think...
I've lost track.

Come sit with me
while I vibrate.

Oh, do you want one?
They're free.

Oh, no. I'm, I'm good.
Thank you. Thank you.

So... what's up?

Well, um, I, I got
the book cover proposals
that you sent over,

and now, I'm worried.

Oh my god.

I thought the covers
were stunning,

especially number two
and... number five.

So spare and arresting.
Just takes my breath away.

But, maybe,
the book is too heavy.

You know, I mean,
even you said that

my readers don't want
all that sadness from me.

Maybe, I just--

Maybe, I just needed
to write the book for myself.

I respectfully disagree.

In fact, when I pitched
the idea of the epilogue

to Oprah's Book Club people,

they got very excited,
and said they were
definitely interested.

- Oprah? Really?
- Mmm-hmm.

- So, I guess
I'm goin' on a date.

I've been waiting
for you to be ready.

We had this whole
wave of divorces
at school this year,

and I know three
adorable dads who'll be
fighting over you.

Well, I'm not
exactly ready.

It was mandated
by my editor...

and Oprah.

- Really?
- Seriously?

Well, when Oprah
mandates a man date,

- what're you gonna do?
- Date a man.

- Yeah.
- And I thought about it,
and I figured...

- If I can lighten my hair,
I can lighten my book, right?
Yes.

Oh, and they're all
gonna be at the benefit,

so you can meet them there.

No one anyone knows.

You know,
I'd rather, I'd rather

go the anonymous route,

since this is,
basically, a stunt,

you know, to give my, my
readers a glimmer of hope.

Is there an app
that knocks you out

while they post
your photos,

fill out those questionnaires,

and, oh my god,
I'm gonna be sick.

It's already done.
I listed you on
three different sites.

I narrowed it down to one.
I don't want to waste your time.

- When?
- Valentine's Day
on my lunch break.

Nobody buys real estate
in the winter,

so I decided to list you.

You staged me,
like an apartment?

You're doing very well.

There's a lot of buzz.

- Am I?
- Yeah... check it out.

- Let me see, let me see.
- Yeah, let's see!

Oh my.

- I'll date the dog.

Well, he's
objectively handsome.

To who?

Why is he chewing
his glasses?

In my experience,
glasses chewers
are good in bed.

Doesn't he look
like he would be?

All right,
no sex for me,
indefinitely.

All I need out
of this is pleasant
enough conversation,

so I can be
a stocking stuffer.

So, no sex for you...
ever?

Well, honestly,
the thought of never
having it again

feels really strange,
but the thought of...

having sex with anyone

other than Big
just makes me...

- sick to my stomach.
- Yeah, makes sense.

But maybe I've had
my share of all that.

You know, when I look
back at my dating life,

it was such
a roller coaster,

and I'm talking one of
those old, wooden ones

where it's more
life-threatening than fun.

Oh, I would kill
to get back on
the roller coaster.

I've been riding
the monorail for too long.

I was hoping things
were better with Steve,

'cause you hadn't
said anything.

No.

As I've always said,
"No news is no news."

Speaking of,
what's the lifespan
of an unanswered text?

Three days,
three weeks,
three months?

Three months?
Try three hours.

- Che, huh?
- Yeah.

They never ask about me
at the podcast, do they?

You know,
Che's been back and forth
to L.A. a few times,

and you...
listen to the podcast.

- They ride all the rides.
- So...

guess I'll have
to file that away
as a crazy one-off,

and resign myself
to having a dead sex life.

I can't believe
that I had the most

transcendent sex
of my life...

and it'll never
happen again.

Well...

I know how you feel.

But Big is,
actually, dead.

Maybe your sex life
with Steve is...

- just in a deep coma?
- Mm.

Hey, honey.
- Hey!

You havin' a little
midnight toast?

- I felt like a nosh.
- Oh.

So, I ran into Herbert Wexley
on the subway today.

Since when does
Herbert Wexley
ride the subway?

My guess is
he thinks it'll
boost his street cred

- If he ever runs for mayor.
- Oh!

Anyway, we bonded
over our wives' mutual
tennis addiction.

Oh, that reminds me.
We're actually playing
again tomorrow morning.

- You know...
I'm not half bad at tennis.
- Oh?

- Herbert said he
played in high school.
- Uh-huh.

How come you never
ask the boys to join
for some mixed doubles?

- Never occurred to me.
- Is it occurring to you now?

Harry... would you like
to play some doubles with us?

I would love that.

Uh, Cubana House
has a table at 6:30.

- Are we feeling Cuban tonight?
- Sí.

- Why is this guy on my tail?
Car play activated.

"So sorry
you're not pregnant,

and I hope it went well
when you told AR."

Shit!
Wait-- Just, Nya.

- Just stop. Just drive.
- "...you two seem like a really

- "strong, happy couple.
- It's too late.

- It's too late. I heard it.
- "Heart emoji.

- Heart emoji. Miranda."
- Sorry.

I was gonna tell you
I got my period.

And you, you told one of your
students before you told me?

- Well, not exactly. It was--
- Red light, red light!

- Oh! My god!

- Sorry, are you okay?
- No, I'm not okay.

You want to tell me why
I'm learnin' this news

from Stephen Hawking
instead of my own wife?

Excuse me?
Yes, hello.

You might wanna watch
where you're going!

- I'm really sorry.
- It's a red light!

I mean, open your eyes!
It's a crosswalk!

- Sir, she said she was sorry.
- I have a toddler!

Okay, sir, you need
to check yourself.

You need to check yourself!

Is he seriously comin' for me?

I have a toddler!

He has a toddler.

Look, I'm, I'm
really, really sorry.

"Sorry that I learned
about it from a robot,"

or, "Sorry this
isn't happenin'?"

Both.

♪ ♪

We're comin' to get you guys.
Look out!

Yeah, that's
what you think!

Nice shot!

- Got this one.
Nice shot.

Good one, babe.

- Uh!
Nice, baby.

No!

Babe, you gotta
go for the ball.

I told you, don't hold back.

I could say the same to you.

You know what they call this
part of the court, don't ya?

- Divorce Alley.
- Whatever.

This is match point.
Let's just stay loose.
We got this.

Let's go, guys.
- Here we go.

I got it!

It's yours! Sorry.

Damn you!

Woo!

Woo! Oh, honey, are you okay?

I'm okay, I'm okay.

Just an old Jewish guy
tryin' to play sports.

That was thrilling!

I'm so relieved.
It can be dicey to play
with other couples

'cause you never know
how it's gonna go,

but I think we were
really well matched.

Why are you
so quiet, Harry?

Well, don't you
have somethin' you
want to say to me?

- Like what?
- Maybe, "I'm sorry."

- Sorry for what?
- Ya knocked me over, babe.

- By accident.
- Yeah, but you never
even said "sorry."

It hurt my feelings.

Are you serious
right now?

- It's common courtesy.
- We were playing tennis.

And there's no rule
against the word
"sorry" in tennis.

I went for the ball,
which you had literally
just mansplained me to do.

- Wait, what now?
- You heard me.

You can be a bit
of a mansplainer,

but I had let it go
on the court

because you're my partner,
and you have to let

the annoying stuff go
if you wanna win.

And we did win,
but I got knocked down
in the process,

- and I'm just asking
for a simple apology.
- That's insane!

- I'm not apologizing!
- What's the big deal?
It's two words!

You're making
it a big deal

by bringing it up
in the first place!

I could argue that you're
making it an even bigger deal

by refusing to apologize.
Why is this so hard for you?

Because I have nothing
to apologize for.

We were playing a game.
What is wrong with you?

Are you five years old now?

No, I just feel like
I'm owed an apology.

What is your
goddamn problem?!

I will not apologize
for playing good tennis!

You're driving me
fucking crazy!

- Great... now they
think we're that couple.
- What couple?

The couple who
fights in the street.

Goddammit.
If Frank bails on me
one more time--

- I'm down to one busboy now.
- Oh, I'm sorry. That sucks.

Yeah.

- Hey... I have an idea.
- Just a sec.

Mm-hm.

Whoa.

Wait, wait, wait.
Hey, ooh. Hey.

- What's... come over you?
- I'm, I'm just in the mood.

It's been too long for me.

Okay, but it's
not even 7:00.

- Brady and Luisa might be
comin' through that door.
- Then hurry!

Kiss my neck.
Come on, do it.

Finger me.

- Really?
- Yeah, really.

Hey. Hang on.

I'm a little rusty.

♪ ♪

Oh.

Is that right?

Um... well...

um, here, here.
Here try this.

- Huh?
- Here.

Mm.

You're a little-- Yeah.

You want me to
go get some lube?

Uh... no.
I mean, I'll, I'll, I'll,
I'll get it. I'll get it.

You, uh, you want me
to put the lid on this,

and put it in the fridge, huh?

- Sure.
- They smell.

Yeah, I, I guess
I should finish loading.

Are you sure?
You really had me goin'
there for a minute?

Uh-huh.
Let's, Let's just
have dessert.

♪ ♪

Hi, I'm Carrie.

Peter.
It's nice to meet you.

Yeah, likewise.

So...

I have to admit, um...

this is my first date
since my wife died.

Really?
Yeah, me too.

Oh.

Okay.

How did your husband die,
if you don't mind me asking?

No, um... he had
a heart attack.

- And your wife?
- Cancer, uh, ovarian.

God.

I think we're gonna
need some drinks.

Yes.

I can't. I can't.

I don't--

Oh my god!

- Oh.

- Oh my god, I'm sorry.

Ugh.

Arbor School parents,

we all know why we're
here this evening, right?

We are here
to raise money,

and I want to see all
of those arms raised

when my lovely,
lovely co-host, Lisa,

tells you about the next item
that we have up for auction.

Number 7278,

a rock-climbing
expedition.

- Speak, speak into
the microphone.
- Oh, sorry.

- I'm not an entertainer.

Number 7278,
a rock-climbing expedition.

Sweetheart,
speak into the microphone,
or they won't hear you.

Number 7278,
a rock-climbing expedition.

For up to five people!

Apologies to my readers.

There is no light
at the end of the tunnel.

- Just vomit.
That's awful!

You're the one
that started this
whole dating again.

- Me? It was Oprah.
- Just take the hit.

I once shit myself
on a date.

- What? I'm empathizing.
- I appreciate it,

but unless you
shit yourself on a date
after your husband died,

I win "worst night ever."

Congratulations.

I can't find
the Stephen Colbert taping

that Lily made us
swear we'd win for her
in the silent auction.

That was for Rock,
and I already bid on it.

Lily wants the vintage
sneaker thing.

You guys, I have to
go help Harry, sorry.

What?
Did you hear what you
just said just then?

- What?
- "Sorry." You said "sorry."

How did you shit
yourself on a date?

Oh, good.
We're back here.

Seventh grade.

My parents made me
take Connie Delucca
out for ice cream.

Ten minutes in,
my shorts were filled with
chocolate chocolate chip.

- My body knew.
- Yeah... I still win.

Followed by dessert
at Serendipity.

Yes... so--

And we're gonna start
the bidding at $500,

which... could cover
a single piece of cake there.

Uh...

Ah!

The point is,
it just--

It rolled off
your tongue,

you know,
no big deal, no drama,

so, you know,
why can't it just roll
off your tongue to me?

Because it can't.

Oh, look!
Here are the sneakers.

You have said it
12 times since we
left the house tonight.

- You've been counting?
- I'm a man on a mission.

And the last time
was just a minute ago

to a lady in the lobby
who bumped into you.

Exactly.
Women apologize
to the whole world

all day long
for everything.

Tennis is the one place
that I don't have to do that.

So, as Demi Lovato
would say...

"Sorry... not sorry."

Do they have any couples
counseling sessions

anyone can bid on
anywhere here?

I'm just gonna go back in,
and tell Amanda

I didn't find that
glimmer of hope.

Guess my book's dead, too.

Darn. My sad book
keeps getting sadder.

Speaking of dead things...

I tried to revive my sex life
with Steve the other day.

I, I really tried hard,

and I'm afraid...
the patient is non-responsive.

- So... no pulse?
- No pulse at all.

It was like two dead people

trying to get it on,
like zombie sex.

And you're sure you guys
wouldn't consider going
back to a therapist?

We tried twice.
We don't need a therapist.

We need the cast of
"The Walking Dead."

Listen, before we get
to all of that,

we have a special
treat that we know
you're going to enjoy.

Someone you'll be
grateful to hear is
not the two of us.

- Yes, you can see

- this amazing performer--
- Use the mic. I beg of you.

in their Netflix
comedy special
"Check the Box,"

- put your hands
together for Che Diaz!
- Che Diaz!

Hi! Yes, aw!

Uh, you know what?
I'll just take hers.
She's not using it.

Hey!

Woo! How we all doin' tonight?

Yeah, you know,
this auction's taking longer
than I did to come out.

It's wild.

So, listen, I usually do
about a 40-minute set,

but don't worry,
they've asked me
to keep it clean,

so I should be done here
in about three minutes. Yeah.

That's Che!
Che's performing?

Oh, yeah.
You know what, Charlotte
roped me into participating,

then I roped in Che, which,
actually, wasn't that big--

Oh, okay, well.
The cheese stands alone.

Oh my god.

Well, I am not
getting laid tonight.

Zero hotties here,
except for the servers,

and I have a strict
no cater-waiter policy.

He's here.

- Who?
- The teacher I went
on a date with last night.

- Professor Puke? Where?
- Mm-hm, mm-hm, mm-hm.

He's, um, he's at the bar.
Wait, is that even him?

It's hard to tell
because I'm seeing more
than the tops of his shoes.

You know what?
Stand in front of me.

It's all right.
Thanks. Have a good night.

Is he leaving?

Oh, yeah, it's okay.
He's leaving, okay.

You know what?
Can you follow him out,

and then come back
and tell me when you're sure

he's out of
the building and gone?

You want me to off him, too?
What am I, Mossad?

- My husband died.
- You get one more of those.

Okay. Go. Fast.

We know we're not
your core demo,
but we love you.

- Aww.
- Yeah. She turned me on to you.

I watched your special,
like, I don't know,
like, 10 times.

My husband's like,
"Veronica, what's
goin' on with you?"

I did.
I read that piece on you
in "Vulture" and got addicted.

- Ohh.
- Addicted.

But we're fans
for life, like, for life.
Wow.

Listen, I so appreciate this.
I see someone I know,

- so I'm just, uh--
- Do your thing.

- We'll be here a while.
Okay. Okay!

Fans for life!

Hey, Rambo.
Were you just gonna leave
without saying hello?

Oh, hi.
No. I, I mean, um...
you were, you were busy,

and I, I was standing
there... for a while,

and it, it looked
like that was...
gonna take a while,

so, I just, you know,
I called an Uber.

Mmm.
Okay, okay.

So, how have you been?

I've been fine, thank you.
And yourself?

What's... going on?

Why are you,
why're you being weird?

Well, I don't
know how to be...

You never wrote me back.

You wrote me?

DM'd me back or whatever.

- Well, when did you DM me?
- Like three months ago.

Three months? Miranda...
I- I've done a ton of weed.

I, I can't--
I can barely remember
three hours ago.

Plus, I get a lot of DMs.

- I'm sure.
- Okay, no.

I meant there's so much volume.

I, I wasn't being a dick.
I just-- I, I seriously
just didn't clock it,

and I'm sorry.

You're busy. I'm busy.
It's all good.

- Did I just say,
"It's all good?"

You should've just
DM'd me again.

Ask for what you want.
That's a turn-on.

I didn't know that.

I'll tell you what I want...

I wanna go someplace
with you...

and take off
all your clothes.

- Really?
- Really.

Well, my Uber is here.

I have a 7:00 AM flight.
I have to go.

No, you can't go.
The auction's not finished.

You didn't tell me
the drama club was doing

three songs from
"Dear Evan Hansen."

- I love you so much.
- Yeah, 7:00 AM flight.

- You can finish this without me.
- Are you crazy?!

I am awful!
I can see it
in people's eyes.

They're like,
"Oh god, not her again."

What do you care if other
people think you're awful?

How could you
say that to me?

- Say what?
- That I'm awful.

- I didn't say that.
- Y-- Okay...

Mr. Improv
holdin' all the cards.

I'm out there humiliated,
doing my best,

and you're gonna stand here
and say that I'm awful?

No, no, no.
I said that people--

I didn't say that.
I said people, people
said that you were awful,

- but I didn't--
- Hi.

- We-we-we're just lookin'
for the restrooms.

- Hey!
- Yeah. Yeah!

Sorry.

- No, no.
- I'm so sorry.

Uh, watch
your step there.

- Oh, great. Now they
think we're that couple.
- Yeah, I'm sorry.

Give it up for
the Arbor School

drama department,
ladies and gentlemen.

I love you, baby.
How can I make it up to you?

Emcee:
They were amazing!

The Arbor School
drama department, everyone!

And sold!
Item number 8248,

a case of wine donated by
a seventh-grade parent from...

wow, vineyard in Tuscany.
Enjoy your wine. All right.

Enjoy your wine, all right!

Carrie, you can't leave.

Your item hasn't even
been auctioned off yet.

I'm sorry,
but according
to Gay Mata Hari,

this is my window.

...a date with sex writer
Carrie Bradshaw, huh?

- It was lunch, a lunch date.
- That's...

That's what I told them.

I was only on
the gathering committee,

not on the program committee.

A date with sex writer
Carrie Bradshaw.

Starting bid, $500.

And sex writer?
Like what-what-what?
Like I write porn?

Um, you know what?
It- It's not a date.
It's a lunch date.

And she's not a sex writer.
She writes about relationships,

- and the nuances that go--
- Okay, please stop.
Please, please stop.

Okay, thank you
for that clarification,
Charlotte, um...

Carrie Bradshaw--
Is that who--?
That's Carrie Bradshaw.

Ladies and gentlemen,
Carrie Bradshaw.

Why don't you come on
up here and help me out?

- Lord knows I need it, right?
- Oh, no, no, no.

You're doing just fine,
just fine.

Oh, come on.
Come on, for the kids.

- Hey, a round of applause
for Carrie Bradshaw, everybody.
- Our friendship is now over.

Come on, it's for the kids.

Hello.

- I'm good, Herbert. How are you?
- All right, starting bid...

Date with sex writer
Carrie Bradshaw, $500.

Anyone?

- Can't! We're all married.
Ah, that's true.

But it is a lunch date,
not sex, right?

Definitely not sex.

$500.

- Oh, $450. $450, yeah.

- There we go, $450.
- No, no, no, no.

We, we have a spill here.
We need a waiter.

- Okay ...
- Do something!

She's about to implode
like the house at the end
of "Poltergeist."

$700! $700!

Oh dear.

$700.
- $800!

Well, now Charlotte's
biddin' against herself.

Pump the brakes, babe.
Pump the brakes.

You know what?
I bid a thousand.

I bid a thousand,
and now, you can, uh...

- Okay, a thousand dollars.
- Yep.

Going once...
Going twice.

$1,050.

$1,050.

Once, twice, sold, $1,050.

Uh-oh. He must've
snuck back in when I
was in the men's room

getting a handjob
from that cater-waiter.

Carrie.

- Hi.
- Hi.

- Uh...
- Well, what are the odds?

Wait, you're a,
you're a math teacher.
You probably know.

Well, it definitely
involves an X to the...
power of hangover.

- Listen, uh, don't worry.

We-we don't actually
have to go out again.

Yeah. And I'm happy
to cover your bid.

- Oh, no.
- You know, that was clearly
charity for all parties.

No, no, no, no.
I wouldn't think of it.

I'm impressed
you even remember
the subject I teach.

Oh, uh, that's
the extent, really.

Well, we should
go out again.

We have so much
to discuss.

Like, how did
I get home?

Did, did we even pay
for those drinks?

- Oh, we paid.
- Yes, yes we did.

Oh... yeah, okay.
Let's do it.

- It's for the kids.
- For the kids, yes.

- Okay.
- Okay .

- Good night.
- Good night, okay.

I've never felt anything
so intense in my life.

I think I'm
in love with you.

You're in love with you...
with me.

And the weed
doesn't hurt.

No, no.
It's not just that.

True, I'm also
very good at sex.

- You... are.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Mm-mm-mm-mm-mm ♪

And just like that...
I found a glimmer of hope.

♪ Love when it comes
without a warnin' ♪

♪ 'Cause waitin'
for it gets so borin' ♪

♪ A lot can change
in twenty seconds ♪

♪ A lot can happen
in the dark ♪

♪ Love when it makes you
lose your bearings ♪

♪ Some information's
not for sharing ♪

♪ Use different names
at hotel check- Ins ♪

♪ It's hard to stop it
once it starts ♪

♪ It starts ♪

♪ I'm not sentimental ♪

♪ But there's somethin' 'bout
the way you look tonight, mm ♪

♪ Makes me wanna
take a picture ♪

♪ Make a movie with you
that we'd have to hide ♪

♪ You better lock your phone ♪

♪ And look at me
when you're alone ♪

♪ Won't take a lot
to get you goin' ♪

♪ I'm sorry if
it's torture though ♪

♪ I know, I know ♪

♪ You better lock your door ♪

♪ And look at me
a little more ♪

♪ We both know
I'm worth waitin' for ♪

♪ That heavy breathin'
on the floor ♪

♪ I'm yours, I'm yours ♪

♪ I'm yours ♪

♪ ♪

♪ I'm not sentimental ♪