And Just Like That... (2021–…): Season 1, Episode 5 - Tragically Hip - full transcript
Carrie's friends rally to help her recover from hip surgery. Charlotte learns some surprising news about her daughter, and Che's words hit home for Miranda.
Now, be kind.
I've had this place forever.
Buyers love a classic
old brownstone,
and I can light
a few Diptyques
to cover that classic
old brownstone smell.
Seema, this is
just me showing you
where I've been staying,
since you asked.
-It's not about a sale.
-Seema: Everything is
about a sale.
-Carrie: Ooh.
-What the hell are you doing?
Oh, it's just my lower back.
Sometimes, I need a little
help getting up the stairs.
A little help?
You're using
an umbrella as a cane.
The internet says
I have "old lady back."
The internet is for perverts.
What does your orthopedist say?
Ohh...
-you know I don't
have one of those.
-Well, now you do.
Let me call
my cousin's office,
and get you
an appointment
later today.
Oh, no, no, please
don't go to any trouble
over my completely
common senior condition.
Nonsense. You're not old,
and Vik doesn't have anything
he can't move to get you in.
-Charming.
-Thank you.
I can have a crew here
to take care of that tomorrow.
-Oh.
-Seema: Hi, my darling,
it's Seema.
Does Vikash have any time
in the next couple of hours
to see my friend
about her sore back?
No, it's not an emergency,
but she does need
to be seen immediately,
preferably before 3:00.
I have a showing.
Seema, there is
no urgency to this
'cause, 'cause I,
actually, I,
I bought these very fancy
patches that I saw on TV.
They heat up when
you stick them on.
They're like magic,
back magic.
Thank you so much, Jessie.
We'll see you soon. Bye.
I should hire you to be
in charge of my entire life.
I know you're joking
but, honestly,
you could use some help.
Chop-chop, grandma.
Vik will see you in an hour.
See, it's magic.
(Seema snorts)
Oh, ow, oh wow.
Okay, I'm here.
How we doin'?
What on earth
took you so long?
The technician
took her X-rays like
half an hour ago.
Um... I'm fine.
Thank you for asking.
Hiya, Carrie.
I'm Vikash.
I'm sure Seema gave you
my entire resume,
and dating history
in the car on the way,
so I won't bother you
with a formal introduction.
Well, it's very nice
to meet you, Dr. Patel.
So, my colleague, Dr. Wilson,
and I looked at your films--
It's arthritis, right?
I have old lady disease
in my back.
That's what
the internet told me.
I am sorry if
my medical degree
contradicts
Google's algorithm,
but I think...
Well, I'm not a doctor,
but, uh, that's not my back.
Wait for it.
It's your hip.
You have an undiagnosed
congenital birth defect.
-I do?
-Dr. Patel: But it's something
I can fix surgically,
and get you back
on your feet in no time.
I'm not an old lady!
I have a congenital
hip defect.
But you are having
hip surgery,
so it's, it's
kind of an old thing.
Yeah, hip as
an adjective is young,
but hip as a noun
is kinda old.
If we're being honest,
using hip as an adjective
is knock-knock-knockin'
on the nursin' home door, too.
-I am no longer
paying for lunch.
-Come on.
We are thrilled that you
found an archaeologist
to saw your old
carcass open,
and try to put those
sanded-down fossils
-inside you back together
-Anthony!
What?! She laughed.
And this is my first solo
lunch with you ladies.
I've really gotta bring it.
This calls for champagne.
-Miranda, it, it
isn't even 12:30.
-We're celebrating.
Anthony is here,
and Carrie is not old.
Carrie:
No, I'm not,
and Dr. Patel said
he couldn't believe
I was still up and walking,
and after these last
two months, neither can I.
So, I have started
an Excel spreadsheet,
so that we can all
take turns helping out
with Carrie's recovery
post-surgery.
You guys, this is
so nice, truly,
and if it's too much,
you know, I can,
I can always
hire a nurse.
I just... I just
don't wanna be alone.
-You won't be alone.
-We're here for you.
I'm not changin'
any bedpans.
I would rather die
than show you my pee.
Okay... They say
that Carrie
will be on crutches
for two to three weeks,
and then,
six to eight weeks PT,
and then, full recovery
in a few months.
-But no strenuous exercise.
-Not a problem.
-And no heels.
-Problem.
Do you even
own a flat shoe?
Yes, I bought a pair
of Toms in 2007.
But that was...
just because it made me
feel like a good person.
Miranda: Aw.
So, we're all set
for the entire class
to go to MoMA PS1
to see the James Turrell?
Yes, we are.
I collected all
the permission slips
and fees,
and I think Ainsley took care
of the charter bus.
I did, even got us a discount.
Great!
Does anyone have anything else
before we break for this week?
-Veronica.
-Uh, n-nothing official.
Just wanted to say
how funny Rock was
in the school play.
Oh my goodness.
Yes, Rock, yes!
Oh, Rock was
a total rock star--
Wait, Wait,
who's Rock?
Did-did I somehow
miss a new kid?
No, Rock your--
Charlotte:
Did everyone just freeze?
Okay, ladies,
we're done here, right?
Talk soon.
Charlotte, I'm gonna
call you right now.
-Okay.
-(phone ringing)
-Hello?
-Lisa (on phone): It's me.
I, I assumed you knew.
Wait, what is happening?
Knew what?
Rose told everyone
at school to call her Rock.
Well, is it Rock as in
like a jokey nickname,
or is it Rock as in,
"I don't wanna be
Rose anymore"?
Sorry, sweetie...
I don't know the context.
(chopping loudly)
Are, are you hammering
or something?
No, no, I'm just making snacks.
-Bam! I'm beating you, Dad.
-Oh no! Dude!
You lose, come on!
-Oh!
-Harry, can we please take
a moment from exploding frogs?
I'm confused.
I need information.
Rose, did you change
your name at school to Rock?
-Yeah.
-You changed your name?
And you didn't
want to tell us
before you told
everyone at school?
I did let you know.
I put up a TikTok.
Well, you put up
about 10 TikToks today,
so... I guess I'm behind.
-(electronic music playing)
-Here.
(raps)
♪ Yo, my name is Rock ♪
♪ The new kid on the block ♪
♪ Not tryna shock
or joinin' the flock ♪
- ♪ R-o-c-k, Rock ♪
-(both singing along)
♪ R-o-c-k, Rock ♪
R-o-c-k, Rock.
We get it.
I'm sorry, what,
wh-what's happenin'?
Are, are you a rapper now?
-Is, is Rock
your rapper name?
-Dad.
Rapper name?
Don't ever say that again.
Charlotte:
Let's stay focused.
Did you do this
because your friend Ellen
changed her name to Eli?
No, it's because
I feel like Rock.
And Eli now
goes by Scout.
Well, good for Scout,
so let me get this straight.
Everyone at school is
now calling you Rock?
Even your teachers?
Yeah, they're cool with it.
Oh, well, as long
as they're cool with it.
-Hey!
-Oh, hey!
-You still up?
-Yeah, just need
to get some water.
Wow, you get a lotta
packages from Amazon.
Yes, I do... too many...
and not all for me.
Uh, tube socks and Astroglide.
(gasps) Strawberry flavor.
Sorry, meant to intercept that.
Miranda:
Next time, please do.
You know, I love how cool
you are about all that stuff.
I mean, if my mom ever
opened my lube in her house,
she would've choked me
to death with a rosary.
Ooh, what book did you order?
Oh, I, uh, I didn't order this.
Must be a mistake.
Yeah, it's, it's a mistake.
That's not for me.
Luisa:
See, that's why I never
order things online.
You never know who has
access to your information.
Well, I'm, uh, I'm definitely
gonna check my account
because I did not order this.
-Receptionist: Name?
-Oh, Carrie Bradshaw
for Dr. Patel.
I, I filled out
all the forms online
during an extremely
productive panic attack.
Excellent.
Well, then, Miss Bradshaw,
take this buzzer,
and when it lights up,
we'll take you back.
-Really? Am I at Applebee's?
-You wish.
Lucky for you,
our knives are sharper.
-(chuckles) Okay, thank you.
-You're welcome.
Ouch.
Ugh.
This is very unsettling.
Well, it is a hospital.
No, I meant
my stocks and socks.
From here down I look
like a Vermont art teacher.
(laughs)
Will I be able
to trade this in
for a free margarita
at the end?
Oh.
Speaking of that,
Charlotte sent me a book
about quitting drinking.
-She did?
-Yeah.
I was unboxing
my teenage son's
artificially
flavored lubricant
and sweat socks,
and I found a package
with a book in it
called "Quit Like a Woman:
How to Make
the Radical Choice
Not to Drink,"
and many more
bullshit words.
Quit like a woman?
What does that even mean?
What?
Curtsy to a bottle of vodka
as it makes double your salary
-for doing the exact same job?
-Exactly!
And she didn't even
have the balls to tell me
she sent it.
She just Amazoned me.
Amazoned me?
Did you just make that up?
I think so.
Sh-She could've at least
included a little gift card.
"Dear Miranda,
I think you're an alcoholic.
Love, Charlotte."
-And you're sure she sent it?
-Who else?
Did you see the face
she made when I wanted
to order champagne at lunch?
And at Che's concert,
she was like, "Miranda,
that's three cocktails."
It was a comedy concert,
for God's sake!
-So, you don't think you
need to quit like a woman?
-What?!
No!
What I need to do
is send her a book,
"How to Get the Stick Outta
Your Ass Like a Woman."
-(Carrie sighs)
-Okay, well... I need caffeine.
You gonna drink
your coffee like a woman?
Yeah, want one?
No, I'm on strict
no food or water
-by mouth before
your procedure orders.
-All right.
How about a little
post-surgical recovery treat?
(gasps)
Oh, yes, please.
A, a diet peach Snapple
and a PayDay?
-Wow, you are kind of
a handful lately.
-Sorry.
(light music playing)
Charlotte:
So, I'll be taking
her home tomorrow.
Charlotte: Great.
And I have her on Thursday.
You were a tomboy when
you were younger, right?
Um, I think that if Luisa
were here, she would say
we're not supposed to use
that word but, yeah, still am.
-Let me ask you something.
-Hm?
Did you ever wish that
you weren't a girl?
Sure... Every time
I have a mammogram.
Why?
I'm just, just going
through somethin' with Rose.
Oh, hey.
How long was I asleep?
Uh, 10 minutes?
Hmm.
I think I have to pee.
Wait... No.
No, yeah.
Yeah, I definitely
have to pee.
Well, uh, I'll,
I'll call the nurse.
Oh no, I don't
think I can wait.
I am, I am really feeling that
entire bucket of ice chips
I just wolfed down.
-Um.
-Yeah, I can't wait.
Okay, um, well,
is there a, a,
like a bedpan?
How dare you.
-(Charlotte laughing)
-Just, just lift me up.
I've done it with the nurses.
I can do it with you two.
-Does this hurt?
-No, I feel nothing.
You know that whole
pain pill addiction thing?
-Yeah.
-I totally get it.
Oh, dang.
When did you
get so strong?
Well, I read in
"Parenting Magazine"
that you should
be strong enough
to lift your
heaviest child
in case of emergency.
-What?
-I've been doing burpees.
(scoffs)
(phone ringing)
Oh... um...
Hello.
No, um, Carrie is, um,
indisposed at the moment.
This is...
Rambo.
-Why'd she call herself Rambo?
-I have no idea.
-Can we please
just get me down?
-Mm-hm, mm-hm.
-Okay...
-Okay.
Miranda:
Oh, that's so lovely.
-Oh, okay.
-Miranda: She'll be thrilled.
Uh, no, you should
come right up.
Um, uh, we're in 1406.
Ooh, wee! Ahh.
Well, this is a very
special episode of "Friends,"
"The One Where They
Lower Her to the Toilet."
Miranda:
Okay, I'll see you in a minute.
-Oh good, more people.
-Miranda: It was your boss.
-Do I have a boss?
-Che.
She's on her way up
with dinner for you.
-How nice is that?
-No, no more people.
And it's not she, it's they.
They are on their way up.
Right, I knew that.
I, I wasn't thinking.
No, you weren't because
I'm in a hospital gown
on a toilet,
and I don't need company,
so please make that
Che visit not happen.
No, go, so I can go.
-Okay.
-Should I go, too?
No, sadly, you have to stay
-to help me back up.
-Sure.
(urinating)
Hmm... think it
was a false alarm.
Oh no, Carrie... you're peeing.
I am?
Yes! See?
-Am I done?
-No, not yet.
(urinating continues)
-I'll let you know.
-(softly): Okay.
And so, the doctor walks
into my hospital room
and he announces,
"Cheryl has diverticulitis,"
and my dad,
who'd fallen asleep
in the empty bed
next to mine,
bolts... upright,
out of a dead sleep,
and shouts,
like he's talkin'
to a complete idiot,
"Yeah, we already know
Cheryl likes girls."
Your father thought--
My father thought
the gastroenterologist
had diagnosed me as a dyke.
(both laughing)
It was hilarious.
And thank God the doc
thought it was funny because
I was basically
in and out of here seeing him
for like two years straight,
and that could've gotten,
uh, real awkward.
So... are y--
Are you okay now?
I mean--
-Yeah, I figured out
how to manage it, yeah.
-Mm-hm.
And even though it's
about watching what I eat,
it's also about
watching what I feel...
what I say, what I do.
-(Che sighs)
-What do you mean?
Cheryl used to hold
everything in...
all that unhappiness,
and, and shame
just twisted up in there,
just, yeah, making her
physically and emotionally
constipated,
just lying to herself
and everyone else,
just feeling so trapped.
(sighs)
But now, now I just--
I let it all out.
I tell the whole truth
on myself on stage, off.
I feel it.
I, I do it. I be it.
So much healthier.
I mean, I-I'm not saying
I got all of me figured out,
but I haven't
shit my pants
in three years.
I'm sorry,
I know we're eating.
Well, I can't
top that win...
(laughs)
but, um...
I was feeling trapped, too,
-at, at my law firm.
-Mm-hm.
So, I finally just quit.
It felt like...
like life's too short,
-you know?
-Oh yeah.
Good for you.
Good for you.
Oh, that's really spicy.
Do you think I'd
bring anything mild?
-No, oh my god.
-(Che laughs)
-Oh no.
-Oh.
♪ ♪
Okay... you get
the wheelchair, Nick.
-I'll get the precious cargo.
-Nick: Alright.
Okay, be right back, Carrie.
And then, I'll put ya
in your wheelchair,
and take ya upstairs
to eat your din-din.
As much as I die
for his Baby Jane Hudson,
this is all
very unnecessary.
I've could've just
taken an ambulette home.
No, it's important
for him to help.
He needs to know that
he's still included.
It's also important
that I don't tumble
out the chair
and kiss all 10 steps.
I'm gonna talk to him
and make sure it's safe.
Please do.
Anthony, Carrie is worried
you're gonna drop her.
I'm not liftin' her.
I'll pop my hernia net.
That's what
Prince Boner here is for.
-Are you ready?
-Ready for what?
For me.
Oh.
Oh, boop-boop.
-Anthony:
This thing's high as a kite.
-Ah, feel like I'm flying.
-Are you okay, Carrie?
-Never better.
In fact, I take it back.
This was totally necessary.
Okay.
Oh, no, no, no, no, Jack.
You cannot say
boundaries and girlfriends
in the same sentence.
My girlfriends are
always there for me,
no... matter... what.
They are there for me.
In fact, you know what?
I remember this time
that my friend, Samantha Jones,
even pulled my diaphragm
out with her bare hand
because it got stuck.
-(laughing)
-Boundaries, Carrie.
And I'm saying
it was really stuck,
like she was up
in there for like
-a minute.
-Oh, a whole minute! Yes!
-I'm sweating.
-Schvitzing like a pig.
Yas, queen!
Uh, well, this podcast
just became everything
I ever wanted it to be,
so I just wanna thank everyone
for making this episode
of "X, Y, and Me" possible,
especially the doctor
who prescribed whatever
painkillers Carrie's on.
-Peace, everybody.
-Leave meeting.
So, back to bed,
or a little walk around?
-Uhh... bed, please.
-Charlotte: Okay. (laughs)
I feel I am, finally...
getting the hang
of this podcasting thing, huh?
Yeah!
-Ooh!
-Ooh, ah, ah!
-Did ya hear me?
-I did, I did.
You sounded
extremely comfortable.
Did, did you hear
what you said?
Well, what did I say?
You told the diaphragm story,
and you mentioned
Samantha by name.
-I did?
-Uh-huh.
Well... there are a lot
of Samanthas out there.
Well, you used
her last name, too.
-Oops.
-Do you think she'll
be okay with that?
Carrie:
Uh...
I think I'm allowed
to tell the story.
It's... my vagina...
my story.
Besides, this podcast
isn't even on her radar.
She's off in... London.
Yeah, but...
I read the "Daily Mail."
Oh, what--
What, you think
she would be upset?
I just think, maybe,
you should let her know.
That's all.
And, that way,
if someone else tells her,
she's not gonna be surprised.
I think what Robin is
trying to say is that
a child at this age
is still developing,
and exploring
who they are.
-Do I have that right, Robin?
-Yes.
-More or less.
-And we, we get all that.
We're just--
We're a little taken aback
that this particular child
was allowed
to adopt a new name
without the parents
being informed.
I honestly had no idea
that you didn't know.
-Did you, Robin?
-I did not, Laura.
Rock never gave
us any clue that
their parents were resistant
to their changing identity.
Their?
D-Did you just say their?
We are not resistant, Robin.
And according to my reading,
Laura, there is a wide range
in this type of exploration,
so we are just
trying to figure out
how seriously we
should take this.
This is a very supportive
environment for all children.
Cisgender, gender fluid,
nonbinary, trans.
Exactly.
This is a journey that
we are all on together.
We're here for you,
and we can recommend
a therapist,
support group,
peer counseling,
-whatever would help.
-Wait. Therapy? Counseling?
What happened to the part
about a child this age
is still growing
and exploring?
That's still true...
but Rock is very clear,
and in matters such as this,
we take our cues
from the children.
We're talkin' about
a 12-year-old here.
Rose would eat
ice cream for every meal
if it was up to her.
Rock.
So, we just have
to accept this now?
This is done.
They made the call.
I don't even
know if I buy it.
Rose is a showoff,
a big ham.
Could just be
for attention...
or to bug us.
She practically
gave us the finger
at her 3D ultrasound.
(student choir singing)
Hearing people who aren't you
talk about your kid to you...
it's the most humbling
experience I've ever had
as a father.
You're a wonderful father.
(singing continues)
(intercom buzzes)
-Hello?
-Che (on intercom):
Hey, it's Che Diaz.
Oh, oh, hey, it's Rambo.
Come on up.
(intercom buzzes)
Oh... goddammit.
(knocks at door)
-What a pleasant surprise.
-Yeah, for me, too.
I was just stopping by
with two things to help Carrie
podcast better from home:
a professional mic
and some aged tequila,
also known as
Keep Carrie Talking.
Oh, come on in.
-Ooh.
-She's, um, taking
a little opioid nap now.
-We gotta keep it down.
-Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, I got it.
Got it, so probably
not a great idea to ask
-if she wants
to do a shot then.
-Probably not.
But you could ask me.
(Miranda and Che laughing)
-Mmm.
-(Che laughs)
-Oh.
-Here let me spark this up.
(Miranda and Che laughing)
-Don't you remember?
-Hm?
-I'm not a pot person.
-(laughing)
Yeah, I remember
you kinda liked it.
-(laughing)
-I don't know!
Are you always this funny?
-Uhh, I better bounce.
I got a gig.
-Oh!
-And Jersey is not
gonna make itself laugh.
-Oh!
Oh, oh no,
go, go, go, go, go.
I got it, I got it,
I got it, I got it.
-(laughs) I got it.
-Alright, alright, you got it!
-Thank you.
-So...
Ah...
(laughing)
You know, if you
weren't in such a hurry,
I'd ask you
to shotgun me again.
Oh!
Well, um,
at your service.
(whimsical music)
(sniffs)
♪ ♪
-Oh, oh.
-(heavy breathing)
Oh. (grunts)
Miranda? I have to pee.
Tell me you like it.
Tell me not to stop.
I like it.
Oh, please, Che.
-(kissing)
-Please don't stop.
(moaning)
Miranda?
(moaning)
♪ ♪
(quietly): Oh, my god.
(gasping, moaning)
Can I touch you?
(Carrie grunting)
-Miranda: Oh, please, touch me.
-Che: Yeah.
Ow!
Oh, oh, oh.
(quietly): Oh my god,
I have to pee.
(loud moaning)
Ow.
(loud moaning)
(grunting, urinating)
That was the best feeling
I've ever had in my life.
Oh. Oh!
Oh my god.
Oh my god.
I really am gonna be late.
What?
Hey, DM me if you wanna
chill again soon, okay?
(laughs)
-Che: Okay, bye.
-(door closes)
(panting)
Maybe close the door.
Oh, you're awake!
Did ya have a good nap,
sleepyhead?
Oh, it was wonderful...
up until the point where
I was woken up by my best friend
having sex in the kitchen...
with my boss!
(toilet flushes)
And I wet myself
in the bed because...
there was no one to help
me to the bathroom.
I'm so sorry.
Oh, let me get you out
of those wet sheets.
I had no idea you
were awake already.
Well, I only took
half a pill...
'cause I was so
out of it yesterday.
I should've taken
the whole bottle,
so I didn't have
to witness any of that.
I-- I apologize.
I, I had no idea
that you needed me.
-What are you doing?
-I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm
getting clean sheets,
-and I'm gonna get all
that stuff off of the bed--
-No, no.
What are you doing?
What was that in my kitchen?
What is going on with you?
I, I, I don't know.
Che brought you tequila,
and, and we were doing shots
out in the kitchen,
and we were
trying to be quiet.
We were trying
not to wake you up.
-Well, you did wake me up.
-I--
And why are you doing shots...
in the afternoon?
And my apartment reeks of pot,
and my bed is soaked in pee.
I'm, I'm, I'm so sorry.
Let me, let me, um,
change the sheets.
It doesn't matter anymore.
-Here.
-(gasps) Ow!
Oh, you're hurting me!
-I said you're hurting me!
-I--
-Just leave it alone.
-Well, you can't sit there
in those sheets, Carrie.
They're soaked.
Yes, I know they're soaked.
I soaked them.
You said you would
be here for me,
and you weren't.
I was alone peeing in a,
in a diet peach Snapple bottle.
I know...
I'm so sorry.
(chuckles)
I guess I just had
too much to drink.
No more tequila for me.
Maybe Charlotte was right.
Maybe you do have
a drinking problem.
I... I don't have
a drinking problem.
I just got a little
carried away.
You are married,
and you just had
sex in my kitchen.
I'm unhappy.
I'm unhappy.
Okay?
I'm trapped.
I hate my marriage.
I hate it.
I hate my life.
I, I, I hate it.
-Since when?
-Miranda: Since...
-Forever.
-No, that's not true.
It feels like it is.
Wh-Why didn't you
say something?
(scoffs)
What would I say?
That I don't wanna be this...
person anymore.
That I wanna be
something more.
That this isn't enough.
That is exactly
what you should say.
Well, then I said.
Please, can I change
the sheets now?
I think you should
look into the drinking.
I am drinking
too much, yes.
We all were
in the pandemic, and...
I guess
I just kept going.
But I don't have a problem,
and I don't need
a book from Charlotte.
I know me, Carrie.
If I really thought
I had a problem,
I would quit instantly.
And what about that other
activity in the kitchen?
I don't know if
I want to quit that.
I-I've never
felt like that...
in my life.
(upbeat music playing)
♪ ♪
(sends text)
(sends text)
(sends text)
♪ ♪
Che (on phone):
When I tell people
I'm attracted to all genders,
someone will always ask,
"Do you have a preference?"
And the truth is, I do.
I prefer them
not to be assholes.
(laughing)
And it's always
a surprise, right?
Nothing you can predict.
It's not like
a werewolf situation.
Definitely not
as easy as full moon,
"Oh, you're really a dick."
I mean, there's no
silver bullet for dating.
Last year, I dated this woman
who was transitioning,
-transitioning from
nice person to asshole.
-(laughs)
-(text chimes)
-A lot of people cannot
comprehend the concept
of me being polyamorous.
When I break that news to them,
they look at me like
I've just told them
that I've never seen
"Star Wars."
Right...
What else did I drunk order?
(light music playing)
(cap clatters)
-(phone rings)
-Active Way Physical Therapy.
So, Harry thinks
the school is overreacting...
but I don't know.
What if we underreact?
Oh, Charlotte, when,
when have you ever
underreacted to anything?
But I can kind of
see Harry's point.
I mean, is this
just a 12-year-old
who's caught up
in the moment?
You know, when I was
in seventh grade,
all my friends
got a perm.
So, I got a perm.
I mean, is this
just right now?
Or is this her... life?
I just-- I, I, I have
to do the right thing.
And you will.
I hope you understand
that I will need to see
a photo of that perm.
I told Harry I think...
-we should just listen--
-Mm-hm.
and follow her--
their lead.
(sighs)
But every time
I open my mouth,
I just want to say Rose,
not Rock.
(exhales)
I don't know
what's gonna happen.
But I know that kid
is amazing.
And just remember,
a rose by any other name
would smell as sweet.
Carrie.
I'm Travis,
the physical therapist.
Shall we go back?
Yeah.
Shall I help you up?
Yeah.
(grunts)
So, I have the philosophy
that PT works best
when we're working
towards a goal.
Do you have
a long-term
physical goal?
-To get back into heels.
-(laughs)
Oh, uh, any others?
Just the one.
To get back into heels.
Okay, uh, so you change,
and then, I'll be back in
and we'll start with a deep
lower body massage.
-Does that sound good?
-Yeah.
Great.
Yes, I'd like to book
my next session with Travis.
Actually, your insurance
doesn't cover Travis.
The system didn't
catch it before
but we've rectified it,
so all of your future
appointments will be with
Emmett here.
Hi, I'm ready for you,
Miss Johnson.
I'm willing to pay
out of pocket.
Okay... Travis then.
Okay, yeah.
("Keep Moving"
by Jungle playing)
♪ If you're coming like that,
then it's been about time,
you know ♪
Carrie:
And just like that,
three months later,
I was back in heels.
♪ If you change ♪
♪ Keep moving,
keep moving ♪
♪ I could hear the alarm ♪
♪ ♪
♪ I won't take it
much longer ♪
♪ Keep moving,
keep moving ♪
♪ Are you
breaking my heart? ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Thanks for
making me stronger ♪
♪ Keep moving ♪
♪ Someone's got
to go find the truth ♪
♪ If you change ♪
♪ When you livin' like that,
you can spend around town,
you know ♪
♪ In a new house ♪
♪ In the UK ♪
♪ If you change ♪
♪ Keep moving,
keep moving ♪
♪ I could hear the alarm ♪
♪ ♪
♪ I won't take it
much longer ♪
♪ Keep moving,
keep moving ♪
♪ Are you
breaking my heart? ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Thanks for
making me stronger ♪
♪ I could live with it,
I could live with it ♪
♪ Oh ♪
♪ ♪
♪ I could live with it,
I could live with it ♪
♪ Oh ♪
♪ I could live with it,
I could live with it ♪
♪ Oh ♪
♪ I could live with it,
I could live with it ♪
♪ Oh ♪
♪ Unless you understand it ♪
♪ Then find out what to do ♪
♪ Don't think about it
♪ I'll be running with you ♪
♪ If I can't understand it ♪
♪ I'll find another way ♪
♪ I could live with it,
I could live with it ♪
♪ Oh ♪
♪ Keep moving,
keep moving ♪
♪ Moving,
keep moving ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Keep moving,
keep moving ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Keep moving, keep moving ♪
I've had this place forever.
Buyers love a classic
old brownstone,
and I can light
a few Diptyques
to cover that classic
old brownstone smell.
Seema, this is
just me showing you
where I've been staying,
since you asked.
-It's not about a sale.
-Seema: Everything is
about a sale.
-Carrie: Ooh.
-What the hell are you doing?
Oh, it's just my lower back.
Sometimes, I need a little
help getting up the stairs.
A little help?
You're using
an umbrella as a cane.
The internet says
I have "old lady back."
The internet is for perverts.
What does your orthopedist say?
Ohh...
-you know I don't
have one of those.
-Well, now you do.
Let me call
my cousin's office,
and get you
an appointment
later today.
Oh, no, no, please
don't go to any trouble
over my completely
common senior condition.
Nonsense. You're not old,
and Vik doesn't have anything
he can't move to get you in.
-Charming.
-Thank you.
I can have a crew here
to take care of that tomorrow.
-Oh.
-Seema: Hi, my darling,
it's Seema.
Does Vikash have any time
in the next couple of hours
to see my friend
about her sore back?
No, it's not an emergency,
but she does need
to be seen immediately,
preferably before 3:00.
I have a showing.
Seema, there is
no urgency to this
'cause, 'cause I,
actually, I,
I bought these very fancy
patches that I saw on TV.
They heat up when
you stick them on.
They're like magic,
back magic.
Thank you so much, Jessie.
We'll see you soon. Bye.
I should hire you to be
in charge of my entire life.
I know you're joking
but, honestly,
you could use some help.
Chop-chop, grandma.
Vik will see you in an hour.
See, it's magic.
(Seema snorts)
Oh, ow, oh wow.
Okay, I'm here.
How we doin'?
What on earth
took you so long?
The technician
took her X-rays like
half an hour ago.
Um... I'm fine.
Thank you for asking.
Hiya, Carrie.
I'm Vikash.
I'm sure Seema gave you
my entire resume,
and dating history
in the car on the way,
so I won't bother you
with a formal introduction.
Well, it's very nice
to meet you, Dr. Patel.
So, my colleague, Dr. Wilson,
and I looked at your films--
It's arthritis, right?
I have old lady disease
in my back.
That's what
the internet told me.
I am sorry if
my medical degree
contradicts
Google's algorithm,
but I think...
Well, I'm not a doctor,
but, uh, that's not my back.
Wait for it.
It's your hip.
You have an undiagnosed
congenital birth defect.
-I do?
-Dr. Patel: But it's something
I can fix surgically,
and get you back
on your feet in no time.
I'm not an old lady!
I have a congenital
hip defect.
But you are having
hip surgery,
so it's, it's
kind of an old thing.
Yeah, hip as
an adjective is young,
but hip as a noun
is kinda old.
If we're being honest,
using hip as an adjective
is knock-knock-knockin'
on the nursin' home door, too.
-I am no longer
paying for lunch.
-Come on.
We are thrilled that you
found an archaeologist
to saw your old
carcass open,
and try to put those
sanded-down fossils
-inside you back together
-Anthony!
What?! She laughed.
And this is my first solo
lunch with you ladies.
I've really gotta bring it.
This calls for champagne.
-Miranda, it, it
isn't even 12:30.
-We're celebrating.
Anthony is here,
and Carrie is not old.
Carrie:
No, I'm not,
and Dr. Patel said
he couldn't believe
I was still up and walking,
and after these last
two months, neither can I.
So, I have started
an Excel spreadsheet,
so that we can all
take turns helping out
with Carrie's recovery
post-surgery.
You guys, this is
so nice, truly,
and if it's too much,
you know, I can,
I can always
hire a nurse.
I just... I just
don't wanna be alone.
-You won't be alone.
-We're here for you.
I'm not changin'
any bedpans.
I would rather die
than show you my pee.
Okay... They say
that Carrie
will be on crutches
for two to three weeks,
and then,
six to eight weeks PT,
and then, full recovery
in a few months.
-But no strenuous exercise.
-Not a problem.
-And no heels.
-Problem.
Do you even
own a flat shoe?
Yes, I bought a pair
of Toms in 2007.
But that was...
just because it made me
feel like a good person.
Miranda: Aw.
So, we're all set
for the entire class
to go to MoMA PS1
to see the James Turrell?
Yes, we are.
I collected all
the permission slips
and fees,
and I think Ainsley took care
of the charter bus.
I did, even got us a discount.
Great!
Does anyone have anything else
before we break for this week?
-Veronica.
-Uh, n-nothing official.
Just wanted to say
how funny Rock was
in the school play.
Oh my goodness.
Yes, Rock, yes!
Oh, Rock was
a total rock star--
Wait, Wait,
who's Rock?
Did-did I somehow
miss a new kid?
No, Rock your--
Charlotte:
Did everyone just freeze?
Okay, ladies,
we're done here, right?
Talk soon.
Charlotte, I'm gonna
call you right now.
-Okay.
-(phone ringing)
-Hello?
-Lisa (on phone): It's me.
I, I assumed you knew.
Wait, what is happening?
Knew what?
Rose told everyone
at school to call her Rock.
Well, is it Rock as in
like a jokey nickname,
or is it Rock as in,
"I don't wanna be
Rose anymore"?
Sorry, sweetie...
I don't know the context.
(chopping loudly)
Are, are you hammering
or something?
No, no, I'm just making snacks.
-Bam! I'm beating you, Dad.
-Oh no! Dude!
You lose, come on!
-Oh!
-Harry, can we please take
a moment from exploding frogs?
I'm confused.
I need information.
Rose, did you change
your name at school to Rock?
-Yeah.
-You changed your name?
And you didn't
want to tell us
before you told
everyone at school?
I did let you know.
I put up a TikTok.
Well, you put up
about 10 TikToks today,
so... I guess I'm behind.
-(electronic music playing)
-Here.
(raps)
♪ Yo, my name is Rock ♪
♪ The new kid on the block ♪
♪ Not tryna shock
or joinin' the flock ♪
- ♪ R-o-c-k, Rock ♪
-(both singing along)
♪ R-o-c-k, Rock ♪
R-o-c-k, Rock.
We get it.
I'm sorry, what,
wh-what's happenin'?
Are, are you a rapper now?
-Is, is Rock
your rapper name?
-Dad.
Rapper name?
Don't ever say that again.
Charlotte:
Let's stay focused.
Did you do this
because your friend Ellen
changed her name to Eli?
No, it's because
I feel like Rock.
And Eli now
goes by Scout.
Well, good for Scout,
so let me get this straight.
Everyone at school is
now calling you Rock?
Even your teachers?
Yeah, they're cool with it.
Oh, well, as long
as they're cool with it.
-Hey!
-Oh, hey!
-You still up?
-Yeah, just need
to get some water.
Wow, you get a lotta
packages from Amazon.
Yes, I do... too many...
and not all for me.
Uh, tube socks and Astroglide.
(gasps) Strawberry flavor.
Sorry, meant to intercept that.
Miranda:
Next time, please do.
You know, I love how cool
you are about all that stuff.
I mean, if my mom ever
opened my lube in her house,
she would've choked me
to death with a rosary.
Ooh, what book did you order?
Oh, I, uh, I didn't order this.
Must be a mistake.
Yeah, it's, it's a mistake.
That's not for me.
Luisa:
See, that's why I never
order things online.
You never know who has
access to your information.
Well, I'm, uh, I'm definitely
gonna check my account
because I did not order this.
-Receptionist: Name?
-Oh, Carrie Bradshaw
for Dr. Patel.
I, I filled out
all the forms online
during an extremely
productive panic attack.
Excellent.
Well, then, Miss Bradshaw,
take this buzzer,
and when it lights up,
we'll take you back.
-Really? Am I at Applebee's?
-You wish.
Lucky for you,
our knives are sharper.
-(chuckles) Okay, thank you.
-You're welcome.
Ouch.
Ugh.
This is very unsettling.
Well, it is a hospital.
No, I meant
my stocks and socks.
From here down I look
like a Vermont art teacher.
(laughs)
Will I be able
to trade this in
for a free margarita
at the end?
Oh.
Speaking of that,
Charlotte sent me a book
about quitting drinking.
-She did?
-Yeah.
I was unboxing
my teenage son's
artificially
flavored lubricant
and sweat socks,
and I found a package
with a book in it
called "Quit Like a Woman:
How to Make
the Radical Choice
Not to Drink,"
and many more
bullshit words.
Quit like a woman?
What does that even mean?
What?
Curtsy to a bottle of vodka
as it makes double your salary
-for doing the exact same job?
-Exactly!
And she didn't even
have the balls to tell me
she sent it.
She just Amazoned me.
Amazoned me?
Did you just make that up?
I think so.
Sh-She could've at least
included a little gift card.
"Dear Miranda,
I think you're an alcoholic.
Love, Charlotte."
-And you're sure she sent it?
-Who else?
Did you see the face
she made when I wanted
to order champagne at lunch?
And at Che's concert,
she was like, "Miranda,
that's three cocktails."
It was a comedy concert,
for God's sake!
-So, you don't think you
need to quit like a woman?
-What?!
No!
What I need to do
is send her a book,
"How to Get the Stick Outta
Your Ass Like a Woman."
-(Carrie sighs)
-Okay, well... I need caffeine.
You gonna drink
your coffee like a woman?
Yeah, want one?
No, I'm on strict
no food or water
-by mouth before
your procedure orders.
-All right.
How about a little
post-surgical recovery treat?
(gasps)
Oh, yes, please.
A, a diet peach Snapple
and a PayDay?
-Wow, you are kind of
a handful lately.
-Sorry.
(light music playing)
Charlotte:
So, I'll be taking
her home tomorrow.
Charlotte: Great.
And I have her on Thursday.
You were a tomboy when
you were younger, right?
Um, I think that if Luisa
were here, she would say
we're not supposed to use
that word but, yeah, still am.
-Let me ask you something.
-Hm?
Did you ever wish that
you weren't a girl?
Sure... Every time
I have a mammogram.
Why?
I'm just, just going
through somethin' with Rose.
Oh, hey.
How long was I asleep?
Uh, 10 minutes?
Hmm.
I think I have to pee.
Wait... No.
No, yeah.
Yeah, I definitely
have to pee.
Well, uh, I'll,
I'll call the nurse.
Oh no, I don't
think I can wait.
I am, I am really feeling that
entire bucket of ice chips
I just wolfed down.
-Um.
-Yeah, I can't wait.
Okay, um, well,
is there a, a,
like a bedpan?
How dare you.
-(Charlotte laughing)
-Just, just lift me up.
I've done it with the nurses.
I can do it with you two.
-Does this hurt?
-No, I feel nothing.
You know that whole
pain pill addiction thing?
-Yeah.
-I totally get it.
Oh, dang.
When did you
get so strong?
Well, I read in
"Parenting Magazine"
that you should
be strong enough
to lift your
heaviest child
in case of emergency.
-What?
-I've been doing burpees.
(scoffs)
(phone ringing)
Oh... um...
Hello.
No, um, Carrie is, um,
indisposed at the moment.
This is...
Rambo.
-Why'd she call herself Rambo?
-I have no idea.
-Can we please
just get me down?
-Mm-hm, mm-hm.
-Okay...
-Okay.
Miranda:
Oh, that's so lovely.
-Oh, okay.
-Miranda: She'll be thrilled.
Uh, no, you should
come right up.
Um, uh, we're in 1406.
Ooh, wee! Ahh.
Well, this is a very
special episode of "Friends,"
"The One Where They
Lower Her to the Toilet."
Miranda:
Okay, I'll see you in a minute.
-Oh good, more people.
-Miranda: It was your boss.
-Do I have a boss?
-Che.
She's on her way up
with dinner for you.
-How nice is that?
-No, no more people.
And it's not she, it's they.
They are on their way up.
Right, I knew that.
I, I wasn't thinking.
No, you weren't because
I'm in a hospital gown
on a toilet,
and I don't need company,
so please make that
Che visit not happen.
No, go, so I can go.
-Okay.
-Should I go, too?
No, sadly, you have to stay
-to help me back up.
-Sure.
(urinating)
Hmm... think it
was a false alarm.
Oh no, Carrie... you're peeing.
I am?
Yes! See?
-Am I done?
-No, not yet.
(urinating continues)
-I'll let you know.
-(softly): Okay.
And so, the doctor walks
into my hospital room
and he announces,
"Cheryl has diverticulitis,"
and my dad,
who'd fallen asleep
in the empty bed
next to mine,
bolts... upright,
out of a dead sleep,
and shouts,
like he's talkin'
to a complete idiot,
"Yeah, we already know
Cheryl likes girls."
Your father thought--
My father thought
the gastroenterologist
had diagnosed me as a dyke.
(both laughing)
It was hilarious.
And thank God the doc
thought it was funny because
I was basically
in and out of here seeing him
for like two years straight,
and that could've gotten,
uh, real awkward.
So... are y--
Are you okay now?
I mean--
-Yeah, I figured out
how to manage it, yeah.
-Mm-hm.
And even though it's
about watching what I eat,
it's also about
watching what I feel...
what I say, what I do.
-(Che sighs)
-What do you mean?
Cheryl used to hold
everything in...
all that unhappiness,
and, and shame
just twisted up in there,
just, yeah, making her
physically and emotionally
constipated,
just lying to herself
and everyone else,
just feeling so trapped.
(sighs)
But now, now I just--
I let it all out.
I tell the whole truth
on myself on stage, off.
I feel it.
I, I do it. I be it.
So much healthier.
I mean, I-I'm not saying
I got all of me figured out,
but I haven't
shit my pants
in three years.
I'm sorry,
I know we're eating.
Well, I can't
top that win...
(laughs)
but, um...
I was feeling trapped, too,
-at, at my law firm.
-Mm-hm.
So, I finally just quit.
It felt like...
like life's too short,
-you know?
-Oh yeah.
Good for you.
Good for you.
Oh, that's really spicy.
Do you think I'd
bring anything mild?
-No, oh my god.
-(Che laughs)
-Oh no.
-Oh.
♪ ♪
Okay... you get
the wheelchair, Nick.
-I'll get the precious cargo.
-Nick: Alright.
Okay, be right back, Carrie.
And then, I'll put ya
in your wheelchair,
and take ya upstairs
to eat your din-din.
As much as I die
for his Baby Jane Hudson,
this is all
very unnecessary.
I've could've just
taken an ambulette home.
No, it's important
for him to help.
He needs to know that
he's still included.
It's also important
that I don't tumble
out the chair
and kiss all 10 steps.
I'm gonna talk to him
and make sure it's safe.
Please do.
Anthony, Carrie is worried
you're gonna drop her.
I'm not liftin' her.
I'll pop my hernia net.
That's what
Prince Boner here is for.
-Are you ready?
-Ready for what?
For me.
Oh.
Oh, boop-boop.
-Anthony:
This thing's high as a kite.
-Ah, feel like I'm flying.
-Are you okay, Carrie?
-Never better.
In fact, I take it back.
This was totally necessary.
Okay.
Oh, no, no, no, no, Jack.
You cannot say
boundaries and girlfriends
in the same sentence.
My girlfriends are
always there for me,
no... matter... what.
They are there for me.
In fact, you know what?
I remember this time
that my friend, Samantha Jones,
even pulled my diaphragm
out with her bare hand
because it got stuck.
-(laughing)
-Boundaries, Carrie.
And I'm saying
it was really stuck,
like she was up
in there for like
-a minute.
-Oh, a whole minute! Yes!
-I'm sweating.
-Schvitzing like a pig.
Yas, queen!
Uh, well, this podcast
just became everything
I ever wanted it to be,
so I just wanna thank everyone
for making this episode
of "X, Y, and Me" possible,
especially the doctor
who prescribed whatever
painkillers Carrie's on.
-Peace, everybody.
-Leave meeting.
So, back to bed,
or a little walk around?
-Uhh... bed, please.
-Charlotte: Okay. (laughs)
I feel I am, finally...
getting the hang
of this podcasting thing, huh?
Yeah!
-Ooh!
-Ooh, ah, ah!
-Did ya hear me?
-I did, I did.
You sounded
extremely comfortable.
Did, did you hear
what you said?
Well, what did I say?
You told the diaphragm story,
and you mentioned
Samantha by name.
-I did?
-Uh-huh.
Well... there are a lot
of Samanthas out there.
Well, you used
her last name, too.
-Oops.
-Do you think she'll
be okay with that?
Carrie:
Uh...
I think I'm allowed
to tell the story.
It's... my vagina...
my story.
Besides, this podcast
isn't even on her radar.
She's off in... London.
Yeah, but...
I read the "Daily Mail."
Oh, what--
What, you think
she would be upset?
I just think, maybe,
you should let her know.
That's all.
And, that way,
if someone else tells her,
she's not gonna be surprised.
I think what Robin is
trying to say is that
a child at this age
is still developing,
and exploring
who they are.
-Do I have that right, Robin?
-Yes.
-More or less.
-And we, we get all that.
We're just--
We're a little taken aback
that this particular child
was allowed
to adopt a new name
without the parents
being informed.
I honestly had no idea
that you didn't know.
-Did you, Robin?
-I did not, Laura.
Rock never gave
us any clue that
their parents were resistant
to their changing identity.
Their?
D-Did you just say their?
We are not resistant, Robin.
And according to my reading,
Laura, there is a wide range
in this type of exploration,
so we are just
trying to figure out
how seriously we
should take this.
This is a very supportive
environment for all children.
Cisgender, gender fluid,
nonbinary, trans.
Exactly.
This is a journey that
we are all on together.
We're here for you,
and we can recommend
a therapist,
support group,
peer counseling,
-whatever would help.
-Wait. Therapy? Counseling?
What happened to the part
about a child this age
is still growing
and exploring?
That's still true...
but Rock is very clear,
and in matters such as this,
we take our cues
from the children.
We're talkin' about
a 12-year-old here.
Rose would eat
ice cream for every meal
if it was up to her.
Rock.
So, we just have
to accept this now?
This is done.
They made the call.
I don't even
know if I buy it.
Rose is a showoff,
a big ham.
Could just be
for attention...
or to bug us.
She practically
gave us the finger
at her 3D ultrasound.
(student choir singing)
Hearing people who aren't you
talk about your kid to you...
it's the most humbling
experience I've ever had
as a father.
You're a wonderful father.
(singing continues)
(intercom buzzes)
-Hello?
-Che (on intercom):
Hey, it's Che Diaz.
Oh, oh, hey, it's Rambo.
Come on up.
(intercom buzzes)
Oh... goddammit.
(knocks at door)
-What a pleasant surprise.
-Yeah, for me, too.
I was just stopping by
with two things to help Carrie
podcast better from home:
a professional mic
and some aged tequila,
also known as
Keep Carrie Talking.
Oh, come on in.
-Ooh.
-She's, um, taking
a little opioid nap now.
-We gotta keep it down.
-Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, I got it.
Got it, so probably
not a great idea to ask
-if she wants
to do a shot then.
-Probably not.
But you could ask me.
(Miranda and Che laughing)
-Mmm.
-(Che laughs)
-Oh.
-Here let me spark this up.
(Miranda and Che laughing)
-Don't you remember?
-Hm?
-I'm not a pot person.
-(laughing)
Yeah, I remember
you kinda liked it.
-(laughing)
-I don't know!
Are you always this funny?
-Uhh, I better bounce.
I got a gig.
-Oh!
-And Jersey is not
gonna make itself laugh.
-Oh!
Oh, oh no,
go, go, go, go, go.
I got it, I got it,
I got it, I got it.
-(laughs) I got it.
-Alright, alright, you got it!
-Thank you.
-So...
Ah...
(laughing)
You know, if you
weren't in such a hurry,
I'd ask you
to shotgun me again.
Oh!
Well, um,
at your service.
(whimsical music)
(sniffs)
♪ ♪
-Oh, oh.
-(heavy breathing)
Oh. (grunts)
Miranda? I have to pee.
Tell me you like it.
Tell me not to stop.
I like it.
Oh, please, Che.
-(kissing)
-Please don't stop.
(moaning)
Miranda?
(moaning)
♪ ♪
(quietly): Oh, my god.
(gasping, moaning)
Can I touch you?
(Carrie grunting)
-Miranda: Oh, please, touch me.
-Che: Yeah.
Ow!
Oh, oh, oh.
(quietly): Oh my god,
I have to pee.
(loud moaning)
Ow.
(loud moaning)
(grunting, urinating)
That was the best feeling
I've ever had in my life.
Oh. Oh!
Oh my god.
Oh my god.
I really am gonna be late.
What?
Hey, DM me if you wanna
chill again soon, okay?
(laughs)
-Che: Okay, bye.
-(door closes)
(panting)
Maybe close the door.
Oh, you're awake!
Did ya have a good nap,
sleepyhead?
Oh, it was wonderful...
up until the point where
I was woken up by my best friend
having sex in the kitchen...
with my boss!
(toilet flushes)
And I wet myself
in the bed because...
there was no one to help
me to the bathroom.
I'm so sorry.
Oh, let me get you out
of those wet sheets.
I had no idea you
were awake already.
Well, I only took
half a pill...
'cause I was so
out of it yesterday.
I should've taken
the whole bottle,
so I didn't have
to witness any of that.
I-- I apologize.
I, I had no idea
that you needed me.
-What are you doing?
-I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm
getting clean sheets,
-and I'm gonna get all
that stuff off of the bed--
-No, no.
What are you doing?
What was that in my kitchen?
What is going on with you?
I, I, I don't know.
Che brought you tequila,
and, and we were doing shots
out in the kitchen,
and we were
trying to be quiet.
We were trying
not to wake you up.
-Well, you did wake me up.
-I--
And why are you doing shots...
in the afternoon?
And my apartment reeks of pot,
and my bed is soaked in pee.
I'm, I'm, I'm so sorry.
Let me, let me, um,
change the sheets.
It doesn't matter anymore.
-Here.
-(gasps) Ow!
Oh, you're hurting me!
-I said you're hurting me!
-I--
-Just leave it alone.
-Well, you can't sit there
in those sheets, Carrie.
They're soaked.
Yes, I know they're soaked.
I soaked them.
You said you would
be here for me,
and you weren't.
I was alone peeing in a,
in a diet peach Snapple bottle.
I know...
I'm so sorry.
(chuckles)
I guess I just had
too much to drink.
No more tequila for me.
Maybe Charlotte was right.
Maybe you do have
a drinking problem.
I... I don't have
a drinking problem.
I just got a little
carried away.
You are married,
and you just had
sex in my kitchen.
I'm unhappy.
I'm unhappy.
Okay?
I'm trapped.
I hate my marriage.
I hate it.
I hate my life.
I, I, I hate it.
-Since when?
-Miranda: Since...
-Forever.
-No, that's not true.
It feels like it is.
Wh-Why didn't you
say something?
(scoffs)
What would I say?
That I don't wanna be this...
person anymore.
That I wanna be
something more.
That this isn't enough.
That is exactly
what you should say.
Well, then I said.
Please, can I change
the sheets now?
I think you should
look into the drinking.
I am drinking
too much, yes.
We all were
in the pandemic, and...
I guess
I just kept going.
But I don't have a problem,
and I don't need
a book from Charlotte.
I know me, Carrie.
If I really thought
I had a problem,
I would quit instantly.
And what about that other
activity in the kitchen?
I don't know if
I want to quit that.
I-I've never
felt like that...
in my life.
(upbeat music playing)
♪ ♪
(sends text)
(sends text)
(sends text)
♪ ♪
Che (on phone):
When I tell people
I'm attracted to all genders,
someone will always ask,
"Do you have a preference?"
And the truth is, I do.
I prefer them
not to be assholes.
(laughing)
And it's always
a surprise, right?
Nothing you can predict.
It's not like
a werewolf situation.
Definitely not
as easy as full moon,
"Oh, you're really a dick."
I mean, there's no
silver bullet for dating.
Last year, I dated this woman
who was transitioning,
-transitioning from
nice person to asshole.
-(laughs)
-(text chimes)
-A lot of people cannot
comprehend the concept
of me being polyamorous.
When I break that news to them,
they look at me like
I've just told them
that I've never seen
"Star Wars."
Right...
What else did I drunk order?
(light music playing)
(cap clatters)
-(phone rings)
-Active Way Physical Therapy.
So, Harry thinks
the school is overreacting...
but I don't know.
What if we underreact?
Oh, Charlotte, when,
when have you ever
underreacted to anything?
But I can kind of
see Harry's point.
I mean, is this
just a 12-year-old
who's caught up
in the moment?
You know, when I was
in seventh grade,
all my friends
got a perm.
So, I got a perm.
I mean, is this
just right now?
Or is this her... life?
I just-- I, I, I have
to do the right thing.
And you will.
I hope you understand
that I will need to see
a photo of that perm.
I told Harry I think...
-we should just listen--
-Mm-hm.
and follow her--
their lead.
(sighs)
But every time
I open my mouth,
I just want to say Rose,
not Rock.
(exhales)
I don't know
what's gonna happen.
But I know that kid
is amazing.
And just remember,
a rose by any other name
would smell as sweet.
Carrie.
I'm Travis,
the physical therapist.
Shall we go back?
Yeah.
Shall I help you up?
Yeah.
(grunts)
So, I have the philosophy
that PT works best
when we're working
towards a goal.
Do you have
a long-term
physical goal?
-To get back into heels.
-(laughs)
Oh, uh, any others?
Just the one.
To get back into heels.
Okay, uh, so you change,
and then, I'll be back in
and we'll start with a deep
lower body massage.
-Does that sound good?
-Yeah.
Great.
Yes, I'd like to book
my next session with Travis.
Actually, your insurance
doesn't cover Travis.
The system didn't
catch it before
but we've rectified it,
so all of your future
appointments will be with
Emmett here.
Hi, I'm ready for you,
Miss Johnson.
I'm willing to pay
out of pocket.
Okay... Travis then.
Okay, yeah.
("Keep Moving"
by Jungle playing)
♪ If you're coming like that,
then it's been about time,
you know ♪
Carrie:
And just like that,
three months later,
I was back in heels.
♪ If you change ♪
♪ Keep moving,
keep moving ♪
♪ I could hear the alarm ♪
♪ ♪
♪ I won't take it
much longer ♪
♪ Keep moving,
keep moving ♪
♪ Are you
breaking my heart? ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Thanks for
making me stronger ♪
♪ Keep moving ♪
♪ Someone's got
to go find the truth ♪
♪ If you change ♪
♪ When you livin' like that,
you can spend around town,
you know ♪
♪ In a new house ♪
♪ In the UK ♪
♪ If you change ♪
♪ Keep moving,
keep moving ♪
♪ I could hear the alarm ♪
♪ ♪
♪ I won't take it
much longer ♪
♪ Keep moving,
keep moving ♪
♪ Are you
breaking my heart? ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Thanks for
making me stronger ♪
♪ I could live with it,
I could live with it ♪
♪ Oh ♪
♪ ♪
♪ I could live with it,
I could live with it ♪
♪ Oh ♪
♪ I could live with it,
I could live with it ♪
♪ Oh ♪
♪ I could live with it,
I could live with it ♪
♪ Oh ♪
♪ Unless you understand it ♪
♪ Then find out what to do ♪
♪ Don't think about it
♪ I'll be running with you ♪
♪ If I can't understand it ♪
♪ I'll find another way ♪
♪ I could live with it,
I could live with it ♪
♪ Oh ♪
♪ Keep moving,
keep moving ♪
♪ Moving,
keep moving ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Keep moving,
keep moving ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Keep moving, keep moving ♪