Ana (2020–…): Season 2, Episode 3 - Puritana - full transcript
PRESENTS
Good morning,
your positive energy...
Your positive energy expands
for the good of the world.
On another topic,
guess who's
-back in Mexico?
-Who?
-And with a great project.
-Tell us who.
Yomero.
The hunk who plays
José Julián
in "Marisela's Return"!
Exactly.
And he's back in Mexico
to join the great cast
of the awarded-winning series,
"The Adames."
That's awesome,
because the chemistry
between those two...
Fuck!
Because the chemistry
between those two
made them
Mexico's favorite couple.
Like they say,
where there was fire...
-Ashes remain.
-Ashes remain.
Gross.
PURITAN
I also have a Jeepeta
I have a full tank
With all my girls
How's your tummy?
Did the juice I recommended help?
Look. You tell me.
I'm still bloated.
Princess of my dreams
I want to kiss you
You're my fantasy
Happy only with you
We're the universe
Turned poetry
So let us toast
To what life could be
How are you?
Could you, please...?
Of course,
I'd be happy to.
-I follow you on social media.
-Do you?
-Yeah, I'm your fan.
-Thank you.
PAPASITO
INCOMING CALL
-What's up?
-Hey, good morning,
are you ready
for our morning joint?
I can't, I start early today.
But look.
-He can 'joint' you.
-No, no. Not me.
How about
we leave it for later?
I can't later.
-I have an appointment.
-What? What is it?
Well, it turns out
that one of the producers
at the party
heard the song "Just Be",
and really liked it.
He wants to produce our album!
No way! That's awesome!
Right? So I'm flying
to Miami today.
That's great, congratulations.
I thought you were looking
suave today.
What? Did I overdo it?
No. You look amazing.
It's Miami, wear a lot of gold,
a backwards cap, designer pants,
even if it's hot,
and you'll fit right in.
Look, there's Ana,
there's Ana.
Hold on.
Ana!
Who's calling you?
What's going on?
-Ana.
-Just a minute.
-Ana?
-It's nobody.
-Anita.
-I'm just...
Call me when you're done, okay?
We love Marisela and José Julián!
-Bye.
-Ana!
This is from Yomero,
I hope it fits back there.
For you, Marisela.
Thank you.
-This too.
-Thanks.
I'll give them to you in a bit.
In a bit.
ON THE AIR
Farty,
do what I say
and never say a word.
But this will blow up the whole
neighborhood, Tuesday.
Marisela.
José Julián.
I missed The Network.
My people.
My co-workers.
Let's make up
for lost time.
Do you have dinner plans?
Well, you do now.
Sir...
We'll be counting the hours.
Why's he speaking in plural?
-This way.
-Walk.
CONTINUATION OF MASTER PLAN
THE BAIT
Tuesday, I need to talk to you.
I'll see you in my dressing room.
Can't you see I'm busy?
Make something up.
Unless you want everybody
to find out what you did.
-No, no!
-Are you listening?
-I can't stand you.
-Me neither.
-What did I do now?
-Cut!
Guau! Wow, you say Guau!
Ow-wow, you say Guau!
Guau! Wow, you say Guau!
What do you say? You say...
That's 2.2 million likes,
here we go!
-Hey, gorgeous.
-Did you like it?
Of course!
Hey, Papi.
It will be a hit.
-Thanks, bro.
-So, what's your story?
Well, we like...
I like Reggaeton,
and I play guitar too.
No, I mean,
what's your story?
Are you dating? Screwing?
Screwing but not dating?
Friends with benefits?
"Felices los Cuatro"?
What's the deal?
No, we're just friends.
I mean, yes, but our fans
don't need to know that.
You know it, baby.
By the way, I have a surprise
for you. Play it, dude.
LatinTuber, Papasito and Motita
The party's starting
You can't miss it
We may be friends...
Thanks.
-Is this our song?
-Yes!
But it's not what I wrote.
Yeah, we had
to make some changes
to make it flow better,
you know how it is.
I can understand if you need
to change the title
because it doesn't sell,
but this isn't me,
it's not what
I wrote.
I know, brother, but your
song wasn't hitting the spot,
people want
something more cheerful,
something hotter.
Look...
Many artists have to change
their song in the beginning,
so it can connect
with listeners.
Do you know who Luis Fonsi
was before he met me?
He was so boring. Bad style,
old-lady hair-do,
prescription glasses.
Now look at him. Trust us.
We know what it takes
to succeed, Papi.
-Okay.
-Play it, dude!
I know you want to blackmail me
and I'm willing to negotiate.
You can have my dad.
What? I don't want to blackmail
you, I want to offer you a deal.
To be the female lead
in exchange for a tiny favor.
You can go have breakfast.
And don't spend it all,
You know I'm not an ATM.
I want you to help me
get fired from the show.
Why do you want to get fired?
That's my business, Tuesday.
What do you say?
It would be good for you.
You'd be the only star.
Do you know who's a fan of mine?
LatinTuber.
I can get you an autograph.
What do I have to do?
I'll do anything.
MASTER PLAN
RECRUIT AN ACCOMPLICE
First, I need you to find out
if Check will be at the
executive's dining hall.
Who?
I don't know why you're
stressing, it was great.
Why are you huffing like that?
I don't get it.
If they like my music,
why did they rewrite it?
Why don't they leave it
the way it was?
Because it's obviously
a strategy.
If it sounds "friendly",
more people
will listen to it, yeah?
So you and me
being in a relationship
is part of that strategy too?
Of course. Think about it.
Think about how much people love
Beyoncé and Jay Z,
or JLo and Marc Anthony,
we could be
like JLo and Marc Anthony!
Or like that Chinese girl
and the guy who sings "Imagine".
-Yoko Ono and John Lennon?
-Right.
Look, I just want to make music.
My music, you know?
And you'll make your own music,
I promise, but first,
you need a fan base
and we need to make you shine!
Then you can do
whatever you want.
-Don't stress, it'll be fine.
-Okay.
No, it's time for Motita's
psychologist's appointment,
the poor thing'll have
another breakdown!
-What?
-I have to go.
Now pay attention.
Before five, you have
to post something, okay?
Something spectacular,
amazing,
preferably about both of us.
And please don't stress.
Everything's fine.
Keep up those good vibes,
love you, bye!
Bye. Good luck to Motita
at the psychologist's.
We had so much fun
at Stage 5, remember?
The rehearsals,
the talks between scenes.
The first time we made love.
I didn't know
I could love anyone this much.
You mean Marisela
and José Julián?
Let's see what the future
holds for us this time.
Marisela, not many people
know this, but when I left,
I embarked on a spiritual journey
and met a Grand Master
who taught me something
I'll never forget.
Everything happens for a reason.
ALWAYSJOSÉJULIÁN:
"EVERYTHING
HAPPENS FOR A REASON."
THANK YOU, MASTER.
Wow.
A true Master.
And he wasn't wrong.
If it wasn't for "The Adames",
we'd never have met again.
Never!
-Hi.
-Bon appétit, Boss.
Cheers.
I love it.
What a nice guy.
Why are you laughing?
Why are you laughing like that?
MASTER PLAN
JEALOUSY PART 1
ONE HOUR LATER
Everybody ready? Let's move onto
the next scene, please.
We haven't rehearsed,
can we do that first?
-Yes, Anita, you're right.
-Yeah.
Recorded rehearsal, guys.
-I need to touch up my make-up.
-Right.
Can you do my make-up, please?
Hey, move the mic there.
I have to look radiant.
What?
The bird is in the nest.
-What?
-Check is in his office.
Thanks.
Okay, Make-up and Art,
off the set, please.
MASTER PLAN
JEALOUSY PART 2
Ready? Take your places.
Concentrate, please.
We don't have much time.
And...
Action!
Let's get out of here.
Leave everything
and everyone behind.
But you love this castle,
Mortadella.
I love you more.
That wasn't in the script.
But I like it, go on!
-I love you!
-You can't allow that.
Let's go to Death Valley!
This is supposed
to be PG, Boss.
You and me, love.
Let's live in a cave.
I love it!
-Ponchito.
-Yes, Boss?
-Show me Camera B.
-Camera B.
It's so big, I love it!
What the hell?
-Regadera!
-That's right, daddy.
-What the...?
-You're so big, Yomero!
-Think of the children...
-The children...
-Who cares?
-They're hiding.
Ponchito, Camera A again.
So good!
Get Ana on camera!
-I'm looking for her, Boss.
-Yes!
I can't see her, damn it!
Yomero, I love you,
you're so big!
-Mortadella, Mortadella!
-You're so big, Yomero!
-Found her yet, Ponchito?
-No, I can't find her, Boss.
-Find her, damn it!
-Here.
What's going on?
What the hell is this?
-Cut.
-Sorry, Boss.
Can you believe it?
Look at her.
Sorry, Boss.
I got carried away.
Must be nice for you.
Did you wash your pussy?
I sure did, Carmelita.
MASTER PLAN
JEALOUSY PART 2
Make-up, do my mouth, please.
Can you explain why
you were hiding with Yomero?
I don't know
what you're talking about.
"I don't know
what you're talking about."
That's why you wanted him
to have the role,
-wasn't it?
-You know what?
These soaps
are really getting to you.
Sorry, I meant "these series."
Regadera, you have to behave,
you have to respect
The Network.
If you don't like it, fire me.
Respect The Network my ass.
José Julián.
José Julián, you showed me...
Hello?
I can't turn back now.
Marisela, one lifetime together
would never be enough.
What the fuck?
My eyes
are so tired of weeping.
I want to be one with you,
feel what you feel,
love you inside out.
José Julián, I can't live
another second without you!
Marisela, I dreamt of
your voice and realized
I want to make
sweet love to you
until the sun goes out.
Marisela, you're finally here.
What? What is this?
Just a little test
to show you how much
we love you.
Okay. So this is...
How did you get in?
This is a joke, right?
-I don't get it.
-Marisela.
Your eyes have seen through me.
So this is from
"Marisela's Return."
Princess of my dreams.
I want to kiss you.
You're my fantasy.
-Happy only with you.
-Only with you.
You know the lines.
Of course, it's the song
from "Marisela's Return."
I heard it hundreds of times.
We're the universe
turned poetry.
So let us toast
to what life could be.
How do I get out of here?
Marisela.
What we're trying to say
is that we can't live
another minute without you.
Who?
Come on, Marisela,
you don't have to pretend.
Do you know how long
we've waited for this moment?
-Yes...
-What is it, Marisela?
It's just that...
I've been thinking a lot about...
everything you said.
About your spiritual journey,
and I think it would be best
if we stayed away from each other
and left our earthly desires
for later.
Well...
I hadn't thought of it that way,
but it makes sense.
We've never had
such a pure girlfriend before!
Pure crazy.
That was close, overacting
saved me from this lunatic.
Note to self:
Change all the locks.
-The chest.
-Right.
I think the chest
is important when you
have a leading role,
plus, producers get to see you.
-Right.
-It gives you stage presence.
MASTER PLAN
LEAK INFORMATION
When it's cold,
your nipples get hard
and fans love that.
Right, your nipples.
Yeah.
What?
MASTER PLAN
LET IT GO VIRAL
LOOK AT THOSE LOVEBIRDS
MY SON IS THE BEST
#LoveIsInTheAir
Together, but not too close!
-My friends, I have news.
-What?
I talked to the label,
and guess what.
-What?
-They loved the song!
I told you, I told you!
They even want
to launch it sooner, babe.
-That's great!
-Really?
Smile, Papasito,
you're going to be rich.
Not as rich as me though.
You're so funny,
we have to celebrate!
Cheers, cheers, cheers!
Together, but not too close!
Cheers!
Really, I can't believe it.
Together
But not too close
Just enough to let it flow
Thanks.
Together, but not too close
Step by step, take it slow
Together, but not too close
PAPASITO:
EARTH TO ANA!
WHEN ARE YOU COMING TO L.A.?
I'LL BE THERE TOMORROW.
Papasito
LOS ANGELES
Papasito!
-Hi!
-I hope those bags mean
you're staying in L.A.
I wish.
Excuse me,
can I get a picture with you?
I can take it.
-Sure.
-No, I mean with you.
You're the guy who sings
with LatinTuber, right?
Yeah, that's me.
Dude, I love your song.
The part that goes,
"Just friends,
no strings attached"
It reminds me
of my best friend.
We love each other
but we've never been down.
We don't dare say it.
-Just like the song, right?
-I'll take it.
Sure, sure.
Hey, he has other songs too.
'Letting Go' is great.
You should hear it,
it's much better.
Yeah. Hon, the camera's
right over here.
Yes, there it is.
Cheese!
Okay.
Hey, we're done.
-Thanks.
-Bye!
Listen to 'Letting Go',
you'll love it.
-Yeah.
-Bye!
Okay.
-Ready to go?
-Yeah. You're famous already.
-I love it.
-You know what?
I just hired her to impress you.
I could finally poop
three little balls.
Better than nothing.
Cheers to that.
-Cheers.
-Cheers!
See how coming back
is always good for you?
Being with you is good for me.
Good for my bowels.
Sure, like I didn't see
how happy you've been
with the lead actor of your show.
Before you start teasing me.
Chill.
I mean, we're together,
but not for real.
It's just for social media,
to make the fans happy
and promote the show.
-Your appetizers.
-Yummy.
-Great.
-I ordered some
-while you were gone.
-Great.
Thank you.
-Can I offer you anything else?
-That'll be all, thanks.
Thank you.
-Want to share?
-Yeah.
You know what?
That's exactly
what's going on
with LatinTuber.
Yeah, haven't you seen me
on social media lately?
No.
Just barely.
The world today it just
so fake, isn't it?
Yes!
You have something
on your face...
-Sorry.
-Sorry, sorry.
I think I made it worse.
Hold on, wait.
I think I just spread it.
Do you want to know something?
I missed your smile.
LATINTUBER
INCOMING CALL
TUESDAY
INCOMING CALL
-It's LatinTuber, do you mind?
-It's fine, same here.
-What is it, Tuesday?
-Don't Tuesday me.
The deal is off,
I won't be played.
What got into you?
You said that if I helped you
with Yomero, you'd be fired
from the show,
but that's not happening.
It hasn't been easy,
I'm trying,
but it's not easy,
Tuesday, be patient.
Figure it out.
If you're not fired
by Monday
and I'm not the lead,
I'll tell everyone
your relationship is a sham.
Yes, I'll be there.
Bad news, I forgot
I had an interview.
You have to go?
I'm sorry.
-No.
-This whole week, we had to do
the media tour and...
I don't know where
my head is at, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Don't worry,
there'll be a next time.
-Are you sure?
-It's fine!
-Let's get doggy bags.
-Doggy bags?
Doggy bags.
Doggy style!
So much silence
can't be good.
What's up, Mom?
Honey, you're early.
Yeah, my date got cancelled.
Came here for nothing.
What's this?
Relax, honey.
I downloaded them.
But, how did you know...?
I always said
you made a cute couple,
you have to tell me
everything!
I'll make some margaritas.
MEXICO CITY
Marisela!
Marisela!
Marisela!
Marisela!
I'll sing you a song
On your birthday
Write a thousand poems
To make you stay
Sing like a bird
On a brand-new day
Make your nightmares go away
Let your lips show me the way
I'll find us somewhere new
Where I can be with you
Swim inside of you
A rib to show my love is true
Flowers bloomed upon your skin
Your womb held my dream within
And I knew we would win
Just go away.
Be the one who ties
Your shoe
The one to take care of you
Act normal.
Kiss your lips...
Swim inside of you
A rib to show my love is true
Flowers bloomed upon your skin
Your womb held my dream within
And I knew we would win
And I knew we would win
Marisela.
No, no way.
Marry me and let's live
happily ever after.
Is it too late
to cancel the plan?
SHOPPING LIST
MASTER PLAN
TO MY REAL FAMILY
Like a model.
Natural, naïve, casual.
Dramatic, romantic, beautiful.
Runway, give it your all...
Casual, sensual,
with a touch of innocence.
Toñita.
We'll call you Toña,
do you like that?
-Toñita.
-You like Toñita?
-Yes.
-Toñita.
Toñita, not Toña.
-Doña.
-Doña Antonia.
-Yeah.
-Doña Antonia or Toña?
Toñita, Doña Antonia.
Hey, loves,
look who's here!
I want to be in it too.
He's the director, but...
I'm with my director.
She's gorgeous.
He says he's the director,
-but he's not, Ana is.
-She's an usurper.
-You like it spicy?
-It's good.
-It's good!
-Yeah!
-She's Mexican already.
-The sauce is good.
Right on, girl.
Motita.
Are you okay?
She's shameless.
Antonia, stop flirting
with the men.
You stop screwing around.
How does the unplugged version
of 'Guau' go?
Guau! Wow, you say Guau!
Ow-wow, you say Guau!
Guau! Wow, you say Guau!
What do you say? You say...
-Guau! Wow.
-Guau! Wow.
Good morning,
your positive energy...
Your positive energy expands
for the good of the world.
On another topic,
guess who's
-back in Mexico?
-Who?
-And with a great project.
-Tell us who.
Yomero.
The hunk who plays
José Julián
in "Marisela's Return"!
Exactly.
And he's back in Mexico
to join the great cast
of the awarded-winning series,
"The Adames."
That's awesome,
because the chemistry
between those two...
Fuck!
Because the chemistry
between those two
made them
Mexico's favorite couple.
Like they say,
where there was fire...
-Ashes remain.
-Ashes remain.
Gross.
PURITAN
I also have a Jeepeta
I have a full tank
With all my girls
How's your tummy?
Did the juice I recommended help?
Look. You tell me.
I'm still bloated.
Princess of my dreams
I want to kiss you
You're my fantasy
Happy only with you
We're the universe
Turned poetry
So let us toast
To what life could be
How are you?
Could you, please...?
Of course,
I'd be happy to.
-I follow you on social media.
-Do you?
-Yeah, I'm your fan.
-Thank you.
PAPASITO
INCOMING CALL
-What's up?
-Hey, good morning,
are you ready
for our morning joint?
I can't, I start early today.
But look.
-He can 'joint' you.
-No, no. Not me.
How about
we leave it for later?
I can't later.
-I have an appointment.
-What? What is it?
Well, it turns out
that one of the producers
at the party
heard the song "Just Be",
and really liked it.
He wants to produce our album!
No way! That's awesome!
Right? So I'm flying
to Miami today.
That's great, congratulations.
I thought you were looking
suave today.
What? Did I overdo it?
No. You look amazing.
It's Miami, wear a lot of gold,
a backwards cap, designer pants,
even if it's hot,
and you'll fit right in.
Look, there's Ana,
there's Ana.
Hold on.
Ana!
Who's calling you?
What's going on?
-Ana.
-Just a minute.
-Ana?
-It's nobody.
-Anita.
-I'm just...
Call me when you're done, okay?
We love Marisela and José Julián!
-Bye.
-Ana!
This is from Yomero,
I hope it fits back there.
For you, Marisela.
Thank you.
-This too.
-Thanks.
I'll give them to you in a bit.
In a bit.
ON THE AIR
Farty,
do what I say
and never say a word.
But this will blow up the whole
neighborhood, Tuesday.
Marisela.
José Julián.
I missed The Network.
My people.
My co-workers.
Let's make up
for lost time.
Do you have dinner plans?
Well, you do now.
Sir...
We'll be counting the hours.
Why's he speaking in plural?
-This way.
-Walk.
CONTINUATION OF MASTER PLAN
THE BAIT
Tuesday, I need to talk to you.
I'll see you in my dressing room.
Can't you see I'm busy?
Make something up.
Unless you want everybody
to find out what you did.
-No, no!
-Are you listening?
-I can't stand you.
-Me neither.
-What did I do now?
-Cut!
Guau! Wow, you say Guau!
Ow-wow, you say Guau!
Guau! Wow, you say Guau!
What do you say? You say...
That's 2.2 million likes,
here we go!
-Hey, gorgeous.
-Did you like it?
Of course!
Hey, Papi.
It will be a hit.
-Thanks, bro.
-So, what's your story?
Well, we like...
I like Reggaeton,
and I play guitar too.
No, I mean,
what's your story?
Are you dating? Screwing?
Screwing but not dating?
Friends with benefits?
"Felices los Cuatro"?
What's the deal?
No, we're just friends.
I mean, yes, but our fans
don't need to know that.
You know it, baby.
By the way, I have a surprise
for you. Play it, dude.
LatinTuber, Papasito and Motita
The party's starting
You can't miss it
We may be friends...
Thanks.
-Is this our song?
-Yes!
But it's not what I wrote.
Yeah, we had
to make some changes
to make it flow better,
you know how it is.
I can understand if you need
to change the title
because it doesn't sell,
but this isn't me,
it's not what
I wrote.
I know, brother, but your
song wasn't hitting the spot,
people want
something more cheerful,
something hotter.
Look...
Many artists have to change
their song in the beginning,
so it can connect
with listeners.
Do you know who Luis Fonsi
was before he met me?
He was so boring. Bad style,
old-lady hair-do,
prescription glasses.
Now look at him. Trust us.
We know what it takes
to succeed, Papi.
-Okay.
-Play it, dude!
I know you want to blackmail me
and I'm willing to negotiate.
You can have my dad.
What? I don't want to blackmail
you, I want to offer you a deal.
To be the female lead
in exchange for a tiny favor.
You can go have breakfast.
And don't spend it all,
You know I'm not an ATM.
I want you to help me
get fired from the show.
Why do you want to get fired?
That's my business, Tuesday.
What do you say?
It would be good for you.
You'd be the only star.
Do you know who's a fan of mine?
LatinTuber.
I can get you an autograph.
What do I have to do?
I'll do anything.
MASTER PLAN
RECRUIT AN ACCOMPLICE
First, I need you to find out
if Check will be at the
executive's dining hall.
Who?
I don't know why you're
stressing, it was great.
Why are you huffing like that?
I don't get it.
If they like my music,
why did they rewrite it?
Why don't they leave it
the way it was?
Because it's obviously
a strategy.
If it sounds "friendly",
more people
will listen to it, yeah?
So you and me
being in a relationship
is part of that strategy too?
Of course. Think about it.
Think about how much people love
Beyoncé and Jay Z,
or JLo and Marc Anthony,
we could be
like JLo and Marc Anthony!
Or like that Chinese girl
and the guy who sings "Imagine".
-Yoko Ono and John Lennon?
-Right.
Look, I just want to make music.
My music, you know?
And you'll make your own music,
I promise, but first,
you need a fan base
and we need to make you shine!
Then you can do
whatever you want.
-Don't stress, it'll be fine.
-Okay.
No, it's time for Motita's
psychologist's appointment,
the poor thing'll have
another breakdown!
-What?
-I have to go.
Now pay attention.
Before five, you have
to post something, okay?
Something spectacular,
amazing,
preferably about both of us.
And please don't stress.
Everything's fine.
Keep up those good vibes,
love you, bye!
Bye. Good luck to Motita
at the psychologist's.
We had so much fun
at Stage 5, remember?
The rehearsals,
the talks between scenes.
The first time we made love.
I didn't know
I could love anyone this much.
You mean Marisela
and José Julián?
Let's see what the future
holds for us this time.
Marisela, not many people
know this, but when I left,
I embarked on a spiritual journey
and met a Grand Master
who taught me something
I'll never forget.
Everything happens for a reason.
ALWAYSJOSÉJULIÁN:
"EVERYTHING
HAPPENS FOR A REASON."
THANK YOU, MASTER.
Wow.
A true Master.
And he wasn't wrong.
If it wasn't for "The Adames",
we'd never have met again.
Never!
-Hi.
-Bon appétit, Boss.
Cheers.
I love it.
What a nice guy.
Why are you laughing?
Why are you laughing like that?
MASTER PLAN
JEALOUSY PART 1
ONE HOUR LATER
Everybody ready? Let's move onto
the next scene, please.
We haven't rehearsed,
can we do that first?
-Yes, Anita, you're right.
-Yeah.
Recorded rehearsal, guys.
-I need to touch up my make-up.
-Right.
Can you do my make-up, please?
Hey, move the mic there.
I have to look radiant.
What?
The bird is in the nest.
-What?
-Check is in his office.
Thanks.
Okay, Make-up and Art,
off the set, please.
MASTER PLAN
JEALOUSY PART 2
Ready? Take your places.
Concentrate, please.
We don't have much time.
And...
Action!
Let's get out of here.
Leave everything
and everyone behind.
But you love this castle,
Mortadella.
I love you more.
That wasn't in the script.
But I like it, go on!
-I love you!
-You can't allow that.
Let's go to Death Valley!
This is supposed
to be PG, Boss.
You and me, love.
Let's live in a cave.
I love it!
-Ponchito.
-Yes, Boss?
-Show me Camera B.
-Camera B.
It's so big, I love it!
What the hell?
-Regadera!
-That's right, daddy.
-What the...?
-You're so big, Yomero!
-Think of the children...
-The children...
-Who cares?
-They're hiding.
Ponchito, Camera A again.
So good!
Get Ana on camera!
-I'm looking for her, Boss.
-Yes!
I can't see her, damn it!
Yomero, I love you,
you're so big!
-Mortadella, Mortadella!
-You're so big, Yomero!
-Found her yet, Ponchito?
-No, I can't find her, Boss.
-Find her, damn it!
-Here.
What's going on?
What the hell is this?
-Cut.
-Sorry, Boss.
Can you believe it?
Look at her.
Sorry, Boss.
I got carried away.
Must be nice for you.
Did you wash your pussy?
I sure did, Carmelita.
MASTER PLAN
JEALOUSY PART 2
Make-up, do my mouth, please.
Can you explain why
you were hiding with Yomero?
I don't know
what you're talking about.
"I don't know
what you're talking about."
That's why you wanted him
to have the role,
-wasn't it?
-You know what?
These soaps
are really getting to you.
Sorry, I meant "these series."
Regadera, you have to behave,
you have to respect
The Network.
If you don't like it, fire me.
Respect The Network my ass.
José Julián.
José Julián, you showed me...
Hello?
I can't turn back now.
Marisela, one lifetime together
would never be enough.
What the fuck?
My eyes
are so tired of weeping.
I want to be one with you,
feel what you feel,
love you inside out.
José Julián, I can't live
another second without you!
Marisela, I dreamt of
your voice and realized
I want to make
sweet love to you
until the sun goes out.
Marisela, you're finally here.
What? What is this?
Just a little test
to show you how much
we love you.
Okay. So this is...
How did you get in?
This is a joke, right?
-I don't get it.
-Marisela.
Your eyes have seen through me.
So this is from
"Marisela's Return."
Princess of my dreams.
I want to kiss you.
You're my fantasy.
-Happy only with you.
-Only with you.
You know the lines.
Of course, it's the song
from "Marisela's Return."
I heard it hundreds of times.
We're the universe
turned poetry.
So let us toast
to what life could be.
How do I get out of here?
Marisela.
What we're trying to say
is that we can't live
another minute without you.
Who?
Come on, Marisela,
you don't have to pretend.
Do you know how long
we've waited for this moment?
-Yes...
-What is it, Marisela?
It's just that...
I've been thinking a lot about...
everything you said.
About your spiritual journey,
and I think it would be best
if we stayed away from each other
and left our earthly desires
for later.
Well...
I hadn't thought of it that way,
but it makes sense.
We've never had
such a pure girlfriend before!
Pure crazy.
That was close, overacting
saved me from this lunatic.
Note to self:
Change all the locks.
-The chest.
-Right.
I think the chest
is important when you
have a leading role,
plus, producers get to see you.
-Right.
-It gives you stage presence.
MASTER PLAN
LEAK INFORMATION
When it's cold,
your nipples get hard
and fans love that.
Right, your nipples.
Yeah.
What?
MASTER PLAN
LET IT GO VIRAL
LOOK AT THOSE LOVEBIRDS
MY SON IS THE BEST
#LoveIsInTheAir
Together, but not too close!
-My friends, I have news.
-What?
I talked to the label,
and guess what.
-What?
-They loved the song!
I told you, I told you!
They even want
to launch it sooner, babe.
-That's great!
-Really?
Smile, Papasito,
you're going to be rich.
Not as rich as me though.
You're so funny,
we have to celebrate!
Cheers, cheers, cheers!
Together, but not too close!
Cheers!
Really, I can't believe it.
Together
But not too close
Just enough to let it flow
Thanks.
Together, but not too close
Step by step, take it slow
Together, but not too close
PAPASITO:
EARTH TO ANA!
WHEN ARE YOU COMING TO L.A.?
I'LL BE THERE TOMORROW.
Papasito
LOS ANGELES
Papasito!
-Hi!
-I hope those bags mean
you're staying in L.A.
I wish.
Excuse me,
can I get a picture with you?
I can take it.
-Sure.
-No, I mean with you.
You're the guy who sings
with LatinTuber, right?
Yeah, that's me.
Dude, I love your song.
The part that goes,
"Just friends,
no strings attached"
It reminds me
of my best friend.
We love each other
but we've never been down.
We don't dare say it.
-Just like the song, right?
-I'll take it.
Sure, sure.
Hey, he has other songs too.
'Letting Go' is great.
You should hear it,
it's much better.
Yeah. Hon, the camera's
right over here.
Yes, there it is.
Cheese!
Okay.
Hey, we're done.
-Thanks.
-Bye!
Listen to 'Letting Go',
you'll love it.
-Yeah.
-Bye!
Okay.
-Ready to go?
-Yeah. You're famous already.
-I love it.
-You know what?
I just hired her to impress you.
I could finally poop
three little balls.
Better than nothing.
Cheers to that.
-Cheers.
-Cheers!
See how coming back
is always good for you?
Being with you is good for me.
Good for my bowels.
Sure, like I didn't see
how happy you've been
with the lead actor of your show.
Before you start teasing me.
Chill.
I mean, we're together,
but not for real.
It's just for social media,
to make the fans happy
and promote the show.
-Your appetizers.
-Yummy.
-Great.
-I ordered some
-while you were gone.
-Great.
Thank you.
-Can I offer you anything else?
-That'll be all, thanks.
Thank you.
-Want to share?
-Yeah.
You know what?
That's exactly
what's going on
with LatinTuber.
Yeah, haven't you seen me
on social media lately?
No.
Just barely.
The world today it just
so fake, isn't it?
Yes!
You have something
on your face...
-Sorry.
-Sorry, sorry.
I think I made it worse.
Hold on, wait.
I think I just spread it.
Do you want to know something?
I missed your smile.
LATINTUBER
INCOMING CALL
TUESDAY
INCOMING CALL
-It's LatinTuber, do you mind?
-It's fine, same here.
-What is it, Tuesday?
-Don't Tuesday me.
The deal is off,
I won't be played.
What got into you?
You said that if I helped you
with Yomero, you'd be fired
from the show,
but that's not happening.
It hasn't been easy,
I'm trying,
but it's not easy,
Tuesday, be patient.
Figure it out.
If you're not fired
by Monday
and I'm not the lead,
I'll tell everyone
your relationship is a sham.
Yes, I'll be there.
Bad news, I forgot
I had an interview.
You have to go?
I'm sorry.
-No.
-This whole week, we had to do
the media tour and...
I don't know where
my head is at, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Don't worry,
there'll be a next time.
-Are you sure?
-It's fine!
-Let's get doggy bags.
-Doggy bags?
Doggy bags.
Doggy style!
So much silence
can't be good.
What's up, Mom?
Honey, you're early.
Yeah, my date got cancelled.
Came here for nothing.
What's this?
Relax, honey.
I downloaded them.
But, how did you know...?
I always said
you made a cute couple,
you have to tell me
everything!
I'll make some margaritas.
MEXICO CITY
Marisela!
Marisela!
Marisela!
Marisela!
I'll sing you a song
On your birthday
Write a thousand poems
To make you stay
Sing like a bird
On a brand-new day
Make your nightmares go away
Let your lips show me the way
I'll find us somewhere new
Where I can be with you
Swim inside of you
A rib to show my love is true
Flowers bloomed upon your skin
Your womb held my dream within
And I knew we would win
Just go away.
Be the one who ties
Your shoe
The one to take care of you
Act normal.
Kiss your lips...
Swim inside of you
A rib to show my love is true
Flowers bloomed upon your skin
Your womb held my dream within
And I knew we would win
And I knew we would win
Marisela.
No, no way.
Marry me and let's live
happily ever after.
Is it too late
to cancel the plan?
SHOPPING LIST
MASTER PLAN
TO MY REAL FAMILY
Like a model.
Natural, naïve, casual.
Dramatic, romantic, beautiful.
Runway, give it your all...
Casual, sensual,
with a touch of innocence.
Toñita.
We'll call you Toña,
do you like that?
-Toñita.
-You like Toñita?
-Yes.
-Toñita.
Toñita, not Toña.
-Doña.
-Doña Antonia.
-Yeah.
-Doña Antonia or Toña?
Toñita, Doña Antonia.
Hey, loves,
look who's here!
I want to be in it too.
He's the director, but...
I'm with my director.
She's gorgeous.
He says he's the director,
-but he's not, Ana is.
-She's an usurper.
-You like it spicy?
-It's good.
-It's good!
-Yeah!
-She's Mexican already.
-The sauce is good.
Right on, girl.
Motita.
Are you okay?
She's shameless.
Antonia, stop flirting
with the men.
You stop screwing around.
How does the unplugged version
of 'Guau' go?
Guau! Wow, you say Guau!
Ow-wow, you say Guau!
Guau! Wow, you say Guau!
What do you say? You say...
-Guau! Wow.
-Guau! Wow.