Ana (2020–…): Season 2, Episode 2 - Anal - full transcript
PRESENTS
But today,
I'm finally free of all this!
You'll pay, assholes!
Go to hell!
I don't give a damn, okay?
Funny, huh?
Super funny!
You're lucky
it's not on the news.
They still want you
back in tomorrow.
But I'm quitting
the show.
These are the first scripts
of the second season.
What?
They wrote them in three days?
The other hundred episodes
are in your inbox.
So you either apologize right
away, or they'll sue your ass.
But this is for "Wild Flower".
Give me a break!
They crossed out the title
and wrote "The Adames."
They'll charge you those
set repairs in US dollars.
And you could lose everything!
No way, I didn't know that.
I never read the contract!
But you signed it.
You were supposed to read it
for me, asshole.
-That's what I pay you for.
-Ana!
Have a nice day.
ANAL
Give me a break.
Need a ride?
Uff... a quick smoke.
Wait, let's go
through here so my mom
doesn't see us...
What? She's still here?
She's been moving
out for a year now.
Let's smoke some weed,
I need it.
Wait a minute, wait.
-It got stuck on my neck.
-No, that's just me.
-Mamasita.
-Papasito.
Hold on.
Look at Mary's daughters!
They're beautiful.
They smell so good.
Yeah, want to take
a picture with them?
Yeah? Here...
-But...
-Where do we sit?
-How about here?
-Just a second.
-Alright.
-Alright.
-Hold on.
-It's not a concept shot.
Okay.
Your hand.
Like that.
-I like it!
-Right?
You think you could keep coming
around to water them?
The plants!
But you'll be in L.A., right?
Or are you
scared of drowning them?
They renewed my contract.
-For "The Adames."
-What?
I start tomorrow.
What about our trip to Veracruz?
Together.
I was thinking
we could go this weekend.
It's a long one.
Look, it's perfect.
Ana, stop. Just quit.
Quit? If I quit, they'll sue me.
I could lose everything.
What is everything?
Listen to this.
I had to row against the stream
From your life I walked away
So I could be there
I had to let you go
I didn't want to lose you
I just wanted to see you fly
To be together
Just let go
To be together
Just let go
It's called "Just Be."
It's a pitch I wrote
for a collab with LatinTuber.
It's about
being with somebody,
without actually being there.
So they never end up together.
Sounds familiar.
-But I want to change the lyrics.
-Why?
Because everything in life ends.
And being
without really being...
It's not living.
Make up your mind.
Kiss me, Ana.
Make up your mind!
Okay, then...
One, two, three, Ana's face
looks like a Christmas tree!
You're just a tease.
The paparazzi found us.
Why don't we have dinner here?
We can order something yummy,
light some candles.
Why don't you ever want them
to see me with you?
If your life is in the
public eye, then so am I.
But my life is private.
Make up your mind.
Open it.
What is this?
Those are the keys to my house.
Well, your house now.
-What do you think?
-But...
I'm buying myself
a little house in L.A.
Make up your mind.
Make up your mind.
What are you thinking?
Lovers without benefits
has worked better for us.
That...
The lyrics are beautiful and
you don't need to change them.
It'll be a hit.
Want to say hello to my mom?
CELEBRATING
#THERETURNOFTHEADAMES
She took off her bra.
-Congratulations, honey.
-Thanks, Mom.
Hi...
"The Adames"
renewed her contract.
Yeah, I know.
I'll leave you two alone,
I have to go.
Okay.
See you this weekend?
-Veracruz.
-Veracruz.
-Excuse me.
-Yeah.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
If you're bloated,
a jumpsuit will suit you better.
Or some animal print
will hide it.
No, honey.
ANA
LOOK, MY NEW BACKGROUND
PAPASITO
NOOO, MINE TOO!
Don't pack. I'm quitting.
-What?
-I'm making them fire me.
I need to find a way out
of that damned contract.
You know I don't interfere,
but that's not your
work ethic, honey.
You've never been fired
and you've never quit.
That's not how I raised you.
We could lose everything!
What's everything?
Your name, your prestige,
your brand, your stability.
Just so you can smoke weed
with a bisexual.
-Mom.
-You know what I mean.
I'll go get some juice,
I'm thirsty.
I think I liked it better when
she was only inside my head.
What now? Who's going
to be inside my head?
What do you want, slut?
I really fucked up this time.
Excuse me.
Let's go outside. Outside!
Action!
-Yomero isn't here.
-Do your thing, sweety.
Sure, boss.
Action!
Hold on, the scene starts with
Yomero coming down the stairs.
Mortadella!
Let's do the conga.
-But I dance with Yomero!
-Cut, Ana, cut!
I'm doing Yomero's scenes
when he's not here.
What? No, I can't...
Tuesday is learning
from him.
But Tuesday...
Learning to be
the head of this home.
I know, but I can't
dance conga with Tuesday,
she's my daughter, and why
is she wearing a Mortadella wig?
What's going on?
From the top!
Anita, cooperate, please.
-Wait, don't you agree with me?
-I don't know.
Ten hours a day
of this bullshit,
five days a week,
for 52 weeks,
for 40 years
equals a goddamned lifetime.
A LIFETIME
Unless...
Excellent, Boss.
I actually like the idea.
I think the conga part
is interesting.
MASTER PLAN
1. WIN OVER THE DIRECTOR
Ready.
The drinks are really good,
you've got beers, pulque, mezcal.
-What more could you want?
-Hi there.
-How are you?
-I'm selling...
some nice "Adames" products.
There's Yomero,
Extra Large, Grandma, Tuesday.
What about Mortadella?
Those are two for one,
nobody wants them.
Thanks, buddy,
come by later, please.
Thanks.
Excuse me.
-More?
-So anyway...
Boss, have you seen
"Eight and a Half", by Fellini?
-Can you top me up?
-Sure.
It's an old movie,
Italian, in black and white.
Or bring me some Tobalá.
-Sure.
-Just to try it.
It's a classic, it's beautiful,
and I think
"The Adames" could be like that.
Maybe we could do something
in black and white
for the second season.
More exteriors,
less work on stage. Did you know
that Fellini actually...
Anita.
I dined with Fellini in Rome.
In 1973.
He kept looking at my boobs.
He was my fan.
Because of the movies
I did with Jodorowsky.
You're...
-Don't say my name.
-I got it tattooed!
-That's so pretty!
-You're...
You're Cazals's muse, and
Buñuel's. She's a "poète maudit"!
Sure, but the I'm a rich,
award-winning writer
of "The Adames."
You know why
you didn't win Best Actress?
-Because...
-Because you don't yell.
Because you don't exaggerate,
we're doing a soap opera,
it should be pure melodrama,
damn it!
Like "Marisela",
just like "Marisela."
No! No!
José Julián! Dead?
But I love him!
That's why everyone
remembers you in that role.
That's why you didn't win.
Please,
can you sign here?
-Sure, I need a surface.
-Right over here.
This is a dream come true.
-Yeah?
-Yeah.
There. Listen, Ana.
-The truth is...
-Thank you!
We're not working for Fellini,
we're working for The Network.
You just cash your paycheck
and keep your mouth shut.
And another thing,
if you want to change my lines,
start your own show,
because this one's mine.
Cheers!
MASTER PLAN
WIN OVER THE DIRECTOR
#FAIL
Good afternoon.
Hi.
Not this dude.
Ana, I'm...
-Yeah.
-Yeah.
I've always been very supportive
of lesbians.
That's right,
your rallies, your...
"rights"...
Funny meeting you here!
Yeah.
You probably remember
I told you I was going
to construct a building
-with my company.
-No.
Well, it's not this one. This is
a prototype, with improvements.
This one has a heliport.
Have you seen the heliport?
It's for helicopters.
Yeah.
Ana?
-Ana.
-Fuck.
Anyway, I'll leave
you with my daughter.
Fuck.
-I got your present.
-You did?
THE PRESENT
-I already had two of those.
-Right.
-How are you?
-Good. Great.
In fact,
I'm doing a new workshop,
"Sexual Fluidity."
You'd like it.
See you.
-When?
-Whenever you want.
-Have you had dinner already?
-Excuse me.
Who is it?
Regadera...
Hey, I'll call you later.
Come in, come in.
What do you think?
I saw the movie you recommended.
The twenty-five thousand...
-"Eight and a Half"?
-"Eight and a Half"!
-Right.
-It inspired me, look.
Black, ochre,
grey, a bit of white.
A fashion icons book.
And some cool paintings.
That one's my favorite.
It's very urban,
very chic, you know?
You remodeled everything
except for "The Adames" stage.
Speaking of remodeling,
viewers are saying
your character's too drab.
I thought we could
give her a touch of color.
Like Maribel,
viewers love her.
Mortadella in color.
Mortadella!
But the original
doesn't wear colors.
-But Mortadella does.
-Forget about it.
I have a favor to ask.
What is it?
I need you to get me out of here.
MASTER PLAN
2. ASK NICELY
I'd be so thankful.
Can you imagine us
together again?
Every day, Regadera,
we haven't had
fun in more than a year.
It's up to you.
Get me out of here, please.
-I can't this season.
-Why not?
Because Yomero got too coked up
and I had to fire him.
I can't lose both my leads.
If you don't let me go,
this is war.
2. ASK NICELY
Regadera, it's The Network's
number one show,
I can't let you go.
-Suit yourself.
-Listen...
I obviously have "chic."
I've always had "check"
and I have a good "shock."
Let's do it right here,
like we used to, in the office.
Speaking of "shock"...
This could really help you.
The lesbian again? Really?
"Do you know your own body?
Sexual Fluidity Workshop."
So stupid.
Action!
MASTER PLAN
(SECOND TRY)
1. ANNOYING DIVA
Mortadella. Mortadella!
-My turn?
-Yes!
Sorry, I don't know the lines.
I just got them this morning.
I haven't memorized them yet.
Cut!
Honey, if you don't know
your lines,
get an earpiece, love,
be a professional.
-You can have mine.
-Never.
Bingo.
I was the first Mortadella,
but then...
Watch out, watch out.
Ready for overtime?
I am in the zone, guys.
MASTER PLAN
(SECOND TRY)
2. DRUG ADDICT
Farty.
Close the door.
Do you have your mic on?
Want to take it off? Yeah?
Take it off.
Take it off.
Does your mom know you're here
without adult supervision?
She doesn't?
Then go tell her.
MASTER PLAN
(SECOND TRY)
3. PERVERT
Hey, I know it's you, okay?
You owe me three of those.
Scrub harder.
Scrub it all off.
That's right. More.
Damned LatinTuber.
No, wait. I'll take that.
Let me throw it away for you.
One question,
what does it have inside?
It's a system that allows us
to record everything
that goes on.
See that camera over there?
Bon appétit, Tuesday, dear.
MASTER PLAN
(SECOND TRY)
4. WEAKEN THE ENEMY
"To my mom in heaven,
may she rest in peace."
Damned liar.
PASSWORD
Damn it.
Come in.
Glad you could come.
Okay, welcome to our
Sexual Fluidity Workshop.
We'll start off with
something easy and delicious
to get you warmed up.
Your anus. That sensitive pearl,
with such powerful...
nerve endings.
Ready?
Relax.
Trust me,
you're in very good hands.
Come on out, please.
-Over there?
-Yes.
-On all fours.
-What?
And your name was?
Don't worry.
It's part of the workshop.
Yeah.
Can you sign me up?
BAD POOPING DAY #361
SICK BUT STILL A PRO
No way.
Hilarious.
What's up?
Regadera,
come downstairs for a drink.
We need to talk.
Sure. Of course.
See you soon.
Alright, don't be long.
MASTER PLAN
(SECOND TRY)
5. DISARM HIM
WITH A TRIUMPHAL ENTRY
Regadera,
I've been thinking and...
I want to do things differently.
-Me too.
-Really?
Yes. Let's end things.
-And start new ones.
-Amazing!
I want to start
new things too, in fact,
-I have so many ideas.
-Me too.
I'm not afraid
of your freedom anymore.
Thanks.
I just wanted you here.
Close to me.
Empathy is such a turn-on.
Did you know there are a bunch
of nerve endings in the anus?
A whole bunch...
three... three fingers. I think.
Doggy-style, you'll love it.
You're going to love it.
How did it go again?
How to prepare
for anal sex.
The first time can
be a little uncomfortable...
No, no, no, no, no.
No, no, no.
-Did you just fart?
-I'm a little bloated.
-Sorry.
-What?
Nothing.
So are you going to fire me
from "The Adames"?
-Fire you?
-Yeah.
Why?
Didn't you get
the Production reports?
Hey. I've had actresses scratch
the director's face
half-way through the series and
still stay for 200 more episodes.
MASTER PLAN
(SECOND TRY)
1. ANNOYING DIVA 2. DRUG ADDICT
3. PERVERT
4. WEAKEN THE ENEMY
5. DISARM HIM WITH A TRIUMPHAL ENTRY
Damn it.
Boss, I was thinking about
what you said
about drama the other day,
and I think you're right.
I have a great idea.
MASTER_PLAN_FINAL
DEFINITIVE_GOOD.DOCX
I know, it's Mortadella.
Are you sick, Tuesday?
No at all. You don't know?
Looks like you're on the news.
We have leaked images
from The Network's
security cam footage.
Excuse me.
This is Ana, from "The Adames",
acting out savagely.
She's destroying the set
in what looks like
a psychotic break.
This damned set, I hate it!
And you know what else...?
It was you. You're a hacker,
and what you're doing is illegal.
And your mom isn't dead.
You just say that to
get more followers.
And that's illegal too.
Me?
But I'm a minor.
You were the female lead
during the first season.
Now it's my turn.
We can do it the easy way or...
The hard way.
This is an important moment
for us as an actors' group,
and that boosts our value.
Of course it does.
What with so many changes...
Excuse me.
-Marisela!
-José Julián!
My Marisela.
I'm so happy to see
you again, love!
What do you think?
-What is this?
-Our new Yomero.
But he doesn't even look
like the last one.
Dear cast, Marisela
and José Julián's reunion
is going to give us 15 more
rating points! Bravo, bravo!
Welcome!
Let's give him a hand!
Welcome, José Julián,
hello Yomero!
I love you, cast. I love you!
Our new Yomero!
Beautiful!
Who the hell approved this?
I love it.
He doesn't
even look like the last one.
MASTER_PLAN_FINAL_
DEFINITIVE_GOOD.DOCX
TO MY REAL FAMILY
I'm coming back for you
In this car I'm someone new
Happily smoking
And singing away
You made me laugh
From the very first day
That why I'm happy
To see you today
Tell me where you're off to
Tell me what you want to do
And if I'm lucky
You'll let me go with you
Just driving, finding my way
Sometimes there's joy
And sometimes there's pain
Just smiling, living each day
Taking it easy
It's going my way
I'm going to start letting go
Of all the things
I don't want anymore
I'm going to start letting go
Letting the spark
Of my desire glow
I'm going to start letting go
I'm going to start letting go
Like a river, let it flow
I'm going to start letting go
Being free, afraid no more
Listen up...
Picked up steam
And followed that dream
I showed them a man
They had never seen
All I had to do
Was plant that seed
Lost myself, found myself
And finally broke free
Driving in my cab
Through a city so fab
With the wind in my hair
Best life I ever had
I'm Papasito
Just a regular guy
Driving and singing
Learning to fly
But now...
I'm coming back for you
In this car I'm someone new
Happily smoking
And singing away
You made me laugh
From the very first day
That why I'm happy
To see you today
I just wanna be free
I just wanna be free
But today,
I'm finally free of all this!
You'll pay, assholes!
Go to hell!
I don't give a damn, okay?
Funny, huh?
Super funny!
You're lucky
it's not on the news.
They still want you
back in tomorrow.
But I'm quitting
the show.
These are the first scripts
of the second season.
What?
They wrote them in three days?
The other hundred episodes
are in your inbox.
So you either apologize right
away, or they'll sue your ass.
But this is for "Wild Flower".
Give me a break!
They crossed out the title
and wrote "The Adames."
They'll charge you those
set repairs in US dollars.
And you could lose everything!
No way, I didn't know that.
I never read the contract!
But you signed it.
You were supposed to read it
for me, asshole.
-That's what I pay you for.
-Ana!
Have a nice day.
ANAL
Give me a break.
Need a ride?
Uff... a quick smoke.
Wait, let's go
through here so my mom
doesn't see us...
What? She's still here?
She's been moving
out for a year now.
Let's smoke some weed,
I need it.
Wait a minute, wait.
-It got stuck on my neck.
-No, that's just me.
-Mamasita.
-Papasito.
Hold on.
Look at Mary's daughters!
They're beautiful.
They smell so good.
Yeah, want to take
a picture with them?
Yeah? Here...
-But...
-Where do we sit?
-How about here?
-Just a second.
-Alright.
-Alright.
-Hold on.
-It's not a concept shot.
Okay.
Your hand.
Like that.
-I like it!
-Right?
You think you could keep coming
around to water them?
The plants!
But you'll be in L.A., right?
Or are you
scared of drowning them?
They renewed my contract.
-For "The Adames."
-What?
I start tomorrow.
What about our trip to Veracruz?
Together.
I was thinking
we could go this weekend.
It's a long one.
Look, it's perfect.
Ana, stop. Just quit.
Quit? If I quit, they'll sue me.
I could lose everything.
What is everything?
Listen to this.
I had to row against the stream
From your life I walked away
So I could be there
I had to let you go
I didn't want to lose you
I just wanted to see you fly
To be together
Just let go
To be together
Just let go
It's called "Just Be."
It's a pitch I wrote
for a collab with LatinTuber.
It's about
being with somebody,
without actually being there.
So they never end up together.
Sounds familiar.
-But I want to change the lyrics.
-Why?
Because everything in life ends.
And being
without really being...
It's not living.
Make up your mind.
Kiss me, Ana.
Make up your mind!
Okay, then...
One, two, three, Ana's face
looks like a Christmas tree!
You're just a tease.
The paparazzi found us.
Why don't we have dinner here?
We can order something yummy,
light some candles.
Why don't you ever want them
to see me with you?
If your life is in the
public eye, then so am I.
But my life is private.
Make up your mind.
Open it.
What is this?
Those are the keys to my house.
Well, your house now.
-What do you think?
-But...
I'm buying myself
a little house in L.A.
Make up your mind.
Make up your mind.
What are you thinking?
Lovers without benefits
has worked better for us.
That...
The lyrics are beautiful and
you don't need to change them.
It'll be a hit.
Want to say hello to my mom?
CELEBRATING
#THERETURNOFTHEADAMES
She took off her bra.
-Congratulations, honey.
-Thanks, Mom.
Hi...
"The Adames"
renewed her contract.
Yeah, I know.
I'll leave you two alone,
I have to go.
Okay.
See you this weekend?
-Veracruz.
-Veracruz.
-Excuse me.
-Yeah.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
If you're bloated,
a jumpsuit will suit you better.
Or some animal print
will hide it.
No, honey.
ANA
LOOK, MY NEW BACKGROUND
PAPASITO
NOOO, MINE TOO!
Don't pack. I'm quitting.
-What?
-I'm making them fire me.
I need to find a way out
of that damned contract.
You know I don't interfere,
but that's not your
work ethic, honey.
You've never been fired
and you've never quit.
That's not how I raised you.
We could lose everything!
What's everything?
Your name, your prestige,
your brand, your stability.
Just so you can smoke weed
with a bisexual.
-Mom.
-You know what I mean.
I'll go get some juice,
I'm thirsty.
I think I liked it better when
she was only inside my head.
What now? Who's going
to be inside my head?
What do you want, slut?
I really fucked up this time.
Excuse me.
Let's go outside. Outside!
Action!
-Yomero isn't here.
-Do your thing, sweety.
Sure, boss.
Action!
Hold on, the scene starts with
Yomero coming down the stairs.
Mortadella!
Let's do the conga.
-But I dance with Yomero!
-Cut, Ana, cut!
I'm doing Yomero's scenes
when he's not here.
What? No, I can't...
Tuesday is learning
from him.
But Tuesday...
Learning to be
the head of this home.
I know, but I can't
dance conga with Tuesday,
she's my daughter, and why
is she wearing a Mortadella wig?
What's going on?
From the top!
Anita, cooperate, please.
-Wait, don't you agree with me?
-I don't know.
Ten hours a day
of this bullshit,
five days a week,
for 52 weeks,
for 40 years
equals a goddamned lifetime.
A LIFETIME
Unless...
Excellent, Boss.
I actually like the idea.
I think the conga part
is interesting.
MASTER PLAN
1. WIN OVER THE DIRECTOR
Ready.
The drinks are really good,
you've got beers, pulque, mezcal.
-What more could you want?
-Hi there.
-How are you?
-I'm selling...
some nice "Adames" products.
There's Yomero,
Extra Large, Grandma, Tuesday.
What about Mortadella?
Those are two for one,
nobody wants them.
Thanks, buddy,
come by later, please.
Thanks.
Excuse me.
-More?
-So anyway...
Boss, have you seen
"Eight and a Half", by Fellini?
-Can you top me up?
-Sure.
It's an old movie,
Italian, in black and white.
Or bring me some Tobalá.
-Sure.
-Just to try it.
It's a classic, it's beautiful,
and I think
"The Adames" could be like that.
Maybe we could do something
in black and white
for the second season.
More exteriors,
less work on stage. Did you know
that Fellini actually...
Anita.
I dined with Fellini in Rome.
In 1973.
He kept looking at my boobs.
He was my fan.
Because of the movies
I did with Jodorowsky.
You're...
-Don't say my name.
-I got it tattooed!
-That's so pretty!
-You're...
You're Cazals's muse, and
Buñuel's. She's a "poète maudit"!
Sure, but the I'm a rich,
award-winning writer
of "The Adames."
You know why
you didn't win Best Actress?
-Because...
-Because you don't yell.
Because you don't exaggerate,
we're doing a soap opera,
it should be pure melodrama,
damn it!
Like "Marisela",
just like "Marisela."
No! No!
José Julián! Dead?
But I love him!
That's why everyone
remembers you in that role.
That's why you didn't win.
Please,
can you sign here?
-Sure, I need a surface.
-Right over here.
This is a dream come true.
-Yeah?
-Yeah.
There. Listen, Ana.
-The truth is...
-Thank you!
We're not working for Fellini,
we're working for The Network.
You just cash your paycheck
and keep your mouth shut.
And another thing,
if you want to change my lines,
start your own show,
because this one's mine.
Cheers!
MASTER PLAN
WIN OVER THE DIRECTOR
#FAIL
Good afternoon.
Hi.
Not this dude.
Ana, I'm...
-Yeah.
-Yeah.
I've always been very supportive
of lesbians.
That's right,
your rallies, your...
"rights"...
Funny meeting you here!
Yeah.
You probably remember
I told you I was going
to construct a building
-with my company.
-No.
Well, it's not this one. This is
a prototype, with improvements.
This one has a heliport.
Have you seen the heliport?
It's for helicopters.
Yeah.
Ana?
-Ana.
-Fuck.
Anyway, I'll leave
you with my daughter.
Fuck.
-I got your present.
-You did?
THE PRESENT
-I already had two of those.
-Right.
-How are you?
-Good. Great.
In fact,
I'm doing a new workshop,
"Sexual Fluidity."
You'd like it.
See you.
-When?
-Whenever you want.
-Have you had dinner already?
-Excuse me.
Who is it?
Regadera...
Hey, I'll call you later.
Come in, come in.
What do you think?
I saw the movie you recommended.
The twenty-five thousand...
-"Eight and a Half"?
-"Eight and a Half"!
-Right.
-It inspired me, look.
Black, ochre,
grey, a bit of white.
A fashion icons book.
And some cool paintings.
That one's my favorite.
It's very urban,
very chic, you know?
You remodeled everything
except for "The Adames" stage.
Speaking of remodeling,
viewers are saying
your character's too drab.
I thought we could
give her a touch of color.
Like Maribel,
viewers love her.
Mortadella in color.
Mortadella!
But the original
doesn't wear colors.
-But Mortadella does.
-Forget about it.
I have a favor to ask.
What is it?
I need you to get me out of here.
MASTER PLAN
2. ASK NICELY
I'd be so thankful.
Can you imagine us
together again?
Every day, Regadera,
we haven't had
fun in more than a year.
It's up to you.
Get me out of here, please.
-I can't this season.
-Why not?
Because Yomero got too coked up
and I had to fire him.
I can't lose both my leads.
If you don't let me go,
this is war.
2. ASK NICELY
Regadera, it's The Network's
number one show,
I can't let you go.
-Suit yourself.
-Listen...
I obviously have "chic."
I've always had "check"
and I have a good "shock."
Let's do it right here,
like we used to, in the office.
Speaking of "shock"...
This could really help you.
The lesbian again? Really?
"Do you know your own body?
Sexual Fluidity Workshop."
So stupid.
Action!
MASTER PLAN
(SECOND TRY)
1. ANNOYING DIVA
Mortadella. Mortadella!
-My turn?
-Yes!
Sorry, I don't know the lines.
I just got them this morning.
I haven't memorized them yet.
Cut!
Honey, if you don't know
your lines,
get an earpiece, love,
be a professional.
-You can have mine.
-Never.
Bingo.
I was the first Mortadella,
but then...
Watch out, watch out.
Ready for overtime?
I am in the zone, guys.
MASTER PLAN
(SECOND TRY)
2. DRUG ADDICT
Farty.
Close the door.
Do you have your mic on?
Want to take it off? Yeah?
Take it off.
Take it off.
Does your mom know you're here
without adult supervision?
She doesn't?
Then go tell her.
MASTER PLAN
(SECOND TRY)
3. PERVERT
Hey, I know it's you, okay?
You owe me three of those.
Scrub harder.
Scrub it all off.
That's right. More.
Damned LatinTuber.
No, wait. I'll take that.
Let me throw it away for you.
One question,
what does it have inside?
It's a system that allows us
to record everything
that goes on.
See that camera over there?
Bon appétit, Tuesday, dear.
MASTER PLAN
(SECOND TRY)
4. WEAKEN THE ENEMY
"To my mom in heaven,
may she rest in peace."
Damned liar.
PASSWORD
Damn it.
Come in.
Glad you could come.
Okay, welcome to our
Sexual Fluidity Workshop.
We'll start off with
something easy and delicious
to get you warmed up.
Your anus. That sensitive pearl,
with such powerful...
nerve endings.
Ready?
Relax.
Trust me,
you're in very good hands.
Come on out, please.
-Over there?
-Yes.
-On all fours.
-What?
And your name was?
Don't worry.
It's part of the workshop.
Yeah.
Can you sign me up?
BAD POOPING DAY #361
SICK BUT STILL A PRO
No way.
Hilarious.
What's up?
Regadera,
come downstairs for a drink.
We need to talk.
Sure. Of course.
See you soon.
Alright, don't be long.
MASTER PLAN
(SECOND TRY)
5. DISARM HIM
WITH A TRIUMPHAL ENTRY
Regadera,
I've been thinking and...
I want to do things differently.
-Me too.
-Really?
Yes. Let's end things.
-And start new ones.
-Amazing!
I want to start
new things too, in fact,
-I have so many ideas.
-Me too.
I'm not afraid
of your freedom anymore.
Thanks.
I just wanted you here.
Close to me.
Empathy is such a turn-on.
Did you know there are a bunch
of nerve endings in the anus?
A whole bunch...
three... three fingers. I think.
Doggy-style, you'll love it.
You're going to love it.
How did it go again?
How to prepare
for anal sex.
The first time can
be a little uncomfortable...
No, no, no, no, no.
No, no, no.
-Did you just fart?
-I'm a little bloated.
-Sorry.
-What?
Nothing.
So are you going to fire me
from "The Adames"?
-Fire you?
-Yeah.
Why?
Didn't you get
the Production reports?
Hey. I've had actresses scratch
the director's face
half-way through the series and
still stay for 200 more episodes.
MASTER PLAN
(SECOND TRY)
1. ANNOYING DIVA 2. DRUG ADDICT
3. PERVERT
4. WEAKEN THE ENEMY
5. DISARM HIM WITH A TRIUMPHAL ENTRY
Damn it.
Boss, I was thinking about
what you said
about drama the other day,
and I think you're right.
I have a great idea.
MASTER_PLAN_FINAL
DEFINITIVE_GOOD.DOCX
I know, it's Mortadella.
Are you sick, Tuesday?
No at all. You don't know?
Looks like you're on the news.
We have leaked images
from The Network's
security cam footage.
Excuse me.
This is Ana, from "The Adames",
acting out savagely.
She's destroying the set
in what looks like
a psychotic break.
This damned set, I hate it!
And you know what else...?
It was you. You're a hacker,
and what you're doing is illegal.
And your mom isn't dead.
You just say that to
get more followers.
And that's illegal too.
Me?
But I'm a minor.
You were the female lead
during the first season.
Now it's my turn.
We can do it the easy way or...
The hard way.
This is an important moment
for us as an actors' group,
and that boosts our value.
Of course it does.
What with so many changes...
Excuse me.
-Marisela!
-José Julián!
My Marisela.
I'm so happy to see
you again, love!
What do you think?
-What is this?
-Our new Yomero.
But he doesn't even look
like the last one.
Dear cast, Marisela
and José Julián's reunion
is going to give us 15 more
rating points! Bravo, bravo!
Welcome!
Let's give him a hand!
Welcome, José Julián,
hello Yomero!
I love you, cast. I love you!
Our new Yomero!
Beautiful!
Who the hell approved this?
I love it.
He doesn't
even look like the last one.
MASTER_PLAN_FINAL_
DEFINITIVE_GOOD.DOCX
TO MY REAL FAMILY
I'm coming back for you
In this car I'm someone new
Happily smoking
And singing away
You made me laugh
From the very first day
That why I'm happy
To see you today
Tell me where you're off to
Tell me what you want to do
And if I'm lucky
You'll let me go with you
Just driving, finding my way
Sometimes there's joy
And sometimes there's pain
Just smiling, living each day
Taking it easy
It's going my way
I'm going to start letting go
Of all the things
I don't want anymore
I'm going to start letting go
Letting the spark
Of my desire glow
I'm going to start letting go
I'm going to start letting go
Like a river, let it flow
I'm going to start letting go
Being free, afraid no more
Listen up...
Picked up steam
And followed that dream
I showed them a man
They had never seen
All I had to do
Was plant that seed
Lost myself, found myself
And finally broke free
Driving in my cab
Through a city so fab
With the wind in my hair
Best life I ever had
I'm Papasito
Just a regular guy
Driving and singing
Learning to fly
But now...
I'm coming back for you
In this car I'm someone new
Happily smoking
And singing away
You made me laugh
From the very first day
That why I'm happy
To see you today
I just wanna be free
I just wanna be free