Ana (2020–…): Season 1, Episode 7 - Banana - full transcript

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PRESENTS

Hi, Ana, your last period
was on October 3.

Your cycle
is ten days late.

BANANA

ANA

-Come on in.
-Thanks.

Sorry, I should have checked
the weather before we left.

No, don't worry.

To be honest,
I already went hiking

with another date,
to Cahuenga.

-Nice.
-I'll bring some towels.



Tell me the truth.

You always check
the weather, right?

Yeah.

Did you know
it was going to rain?

-I might have had some idea.
-Then?

What can I say? I wanted to see

you in your wet clothes.

-What about now?
-Much better.

By the way, the date
thing was a joke.

-Ana.
-Right, sorry.

Come here.

You're so hot.

-Hot mamma!
-No, you are "so hot".

Am I?



Yeah, you're very, very, very...

very, very, very hot.

So hot that I want to...

-taste your milk?
-My milk?

Yeah, I was trying to translate.

You know, milk.

You can say "jizz", "cum"
or "baby gravy".

Baby gravy!

I want to taste your baby gravy!

-Okay.
-Jeez... jizz!

-Done?
-Almost there.

-Done?
-Almost.

-Okay, okay.
-Not quite.

I lost it, I lost it.

Two cauliflower bowls coming up.

-I'm stealing this, by the way.
-Yeah.

It looks... great. Yeah.

Is something wrong?

All good.

No, tell me. What?

You last a long time. Too long.

-It wasn't too long.
-Yes.

Do you think 50 minutes
isn't a long time?

-Fifty minutes?
-Yes, fifty.

I broke my own record.

Sorry. Have you heard of OM?

Mm-hmm.

Well, I'm just starting it,

and it may not seem like it,
but it's giving me good results.

Hmm.

You have no idea what
I'm talking about, do you?

No. OM, or "Orgasmic Meditation"
is a practice that helps you

connect your body and your mind.

Ah! I think I read about that.

Isn't it a cult or something?

No, it's not a cult.

Are you sure?

Sure. It's a way
of experiencing pleasure

without focusing on the result.

-You mean on the orgasm?
-Yes.

Are you telling me
that was all on purpose?

Yeah, I should have told you,
but I didn't want

to spoil the moment, or for you
to think I was crazy.

Right, because
your vagina doesn't burn.

Well, it is a little strange,
right?

But we're in Hollywood.

This is just for a while okay?

-Okay.
-Okay.

This could use some chili, right?

Where?

Over there.

-Hi.
-Hi.

Hi.

-Hi! You're Ana.
-How are you?

-Here.
-Perfect.

That's ten dollars.
How are you paying?

Card.

Sorry, I'm just a bit irritated.

I have diarrhea.

Oh!

-Hey, compatriot...
-What?

-Your card was declined.
-Try again.

I tried twice.

Do you have another
form of payment?

Let me see.

Do you accept pesos?

No.

Compatriot, we need
to support each other.

No, I don't want
to have problems.

Help the gang out.

I swear there's more
than ten dollars here.

A lot more.
In fact, keep the change.

Change?

Okay.

-Bye.
-Bye.

Mary!

Papasito!
Open up! Mary needs you!

Papasito! What do I do?

Where have you been?

I've been looking for you
all this time.

Here, give her ice.

Right.

-Ana, the ice.
-Yeah.

-I gave it to her.
-Okay.

I can't get her fever down

and the damned pediatrician
won't pick up.

-Damn it!
-What's up with the baby?

Okay, okay.

Papasito?

Ana, it's my daughter.

Why didn't you tell me?

Ana, the pediatrician.

Can you help me
with the ice, please?

Hello? Yeah, doctor,
my daughter still has a fever,

I gave her medicine.

I don't know what else to do.
I've tried everything.

Should I give her more medicine?

I'm sorry, what was that?

I'm sorry. I just don't know
what else to do.

Okay.

MEXICO CITY

LA CAÑITA

What's up, sis?

-Hey. How are you?
-Was the party fun?

Karaoke night?

It was crazy,
like every Thursday.

"La Bruja Prieta",
is playing today...

I'm really not in the mood.

I still haven't gotten it.

-Are you pregnant?
-No.

I don't think that's possible.

Check can't,
he had a vasectomy.

Chic was just here,
don't even remind me.

Very, very...

And Chock is Chock, so...

Jesus of Veracruz!

-No.
-So why worry?

Menopause.

-Why are you whispering?
-I don't want to call it.

Plus, if you think about it,
all the women

in our family had
premature menopause.

Hey, what are you so afraid of?

I don't know, that this
is my last chance to have kids.

Is that what you want?
To have kids?

No, I want to be able to.
That's different.

We don't all have
to be moms and wives.

I know.

Have you thought of what
you'll do in your old age?

On Christmas.

Sometimes people with
no kids die alone.

Ana? Sis?

Huh?

I don't want to regret it
in ten years

and think back on this moment.

Don't think about it.
But think about the present.

Think about tonight,
about the music.

Maybe not this music, but...
Come on, sis.

I'm afraid of us ending up alone,

with no kids, you know?

Look at Mom, she had us,

you barely talk to her,
I don't see her...

We'd be the first generation
in our family

to not have kids.

No. We'd be the first generation

that decides what
they want to do.

ANA DIED ALONE, DAMN IT

ANA DIED ALONE, DAMN IT

THE COMPANY

Thanks, how nice.

Very nice. All those flowers.

Yes, I'm happy, I've been
in Los Angeles for eight years,

and I get many job offers.

I can't mention them,
but me and my team

are studying them.

No low angle shots,
it shows the bags under her eyes.

Hey, isn't it too blue?

You look happy,
but are you in love?

There are so many hot men there.

Is there a new heartthrob?

-I'm single for now...
-Okay...

But I'm enjoying it very much.

So we're not getting
a visit from the stork this year?

ANA DE LA REGADERA

TELLS US ABOUT HER LOVE LIFE
AND SUCCESSFUL CAREER

-No.
-No.

Not this year.
It should visit someone else.

Right, that's fine,
while she writes the stork,

you all just wait at home,

because our guest
will make a wonderful recipe

with our chef.

Don't go away,
we'll be right back.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK...

ANA WILL COOK US A SURPRISE
WHEN WE RETURN!

OUR DAWN

-Cut!
-Done?

Yes, thank you.
Thanks a lot.

-Alright, excuse me.
-Yeah.

She's cute.

No way. I won't be humiliated
on national television.

Excuse me.

Can we have a second?
Thanks.

Want some?

Do you want to pay your cards or
not? You're going to get offers.

Ready, Ana?
We're starting.

Please.

Five, four, three, two...

We're back, lovely lady,
pampered lady,

with Ana, who will
make a pie for us!

Tell us, Chef,
what kind of pie is it?

Today, we're making
a free fruit pie.

FREE FRUIT PIE

-Free fruit.
-Free, that's right.

At home, use your imagination,

and whatever you have handy.

It can be banana,
strawberry, chocolate.

-Delicious, friends.
-Yum!

Of course, it needs flour,

-right, Ana?
-Of course.

Can you help me, Ana,
with half a cup of flour?

Half. No, no.

That's too much.

Just half, my friends.

Half, there we go.

-You look like a tampon.
-Okay.

Tampon...

Half a cup, my friends.

Like this, right, Ana?

What is she on?

It's legal in California.

-Of course.
-Let's stir.

We're stirring
all the ingredients together.

Ana, I need to talk to you.

The Morticia role is open,

I'll schedule a callback for you.
See you.

-Milk.
-Milk!

-Right.
-Put in my milk.

Good. Right.

-Don't stir too much.
-No way! Eggplant.

Or eggplant, sure.

Eggplant, like Marisela's eyes.

-I'll pick strawberries.
-Strawberries.

-What about you?
-Yeah.

-Banana.
-No! Because of the shirt.

-Right.
-Of course.

Do you like it up the butt?

-No?
-Yes, you can choose the fruit.

To my friend at home,
this is very fun.

-Wonderful.
-Are you having fun?

A lot of fun, Chef.

As your friends or kids to help,

this is a lot of fun.

Let's play
Switching teams

I'll go to your side
You go to mine

If you say we're the same
Then it's the same to you

Okay, I'll get on all fours
We'll do a play

In bed

I want your feet
Inside my shoes

I'm your pet
Your dog, your cat

I'll add the wheat
You add the flour

I'll wash the dishes
While you cook

Nobody leads here

Banana and papaya
Are the same, they're fruit

They're the same, they're fruit

Banana

Papaya
Banana

-Papaya
-Banana

Papaya

In different sizes
We give the same thing

Beach water

Banana

-Papaya
-Banana

Papaya

In different sizes,
We give the same thing

Beach water

Beach water

LOS ANGELES

Papasito!

Papasito, I'm sorry!

I'll leave this here, okay?

Hi.

-What's that?
-My way of saying I'm sorry.

Okay.

I'm sorry, I messed up.

I think it'll be good
in a couple of years...

Are you okay?

It's okay, it can be a chair.
Right, Squirrel?

Thanks.

Come in.

-Let me help you.
-Thanks.

Thanks.

Don't ask me why,
but it calms her down.

-She's better, right?
-Yeah, it seems it was a virus.

But she took her medicine
and her fever went down.

Cute cheeks. She's adorable.

Ana, I think I owe you
an explanation.

-No. You really don't.
-I know, but I want to.

Okay.

Remember the guy
and girl I told you about?

-Yeah, the polyamory ones?
-Yeah.

When they found out
the baby was mine,

they decided to close the

relationship and raise her.

No way. The jerks. No way.

We won't bad talk them,
it's okay. We won't.

Yeah, it wasn't easy.

The important thing is that
the three of us are in her life.

And she'll have
everything she needs.

-Do you see her a lot?
-Not as much as I'd like to.

But they went on a trip,
so she's with me all week.

Great.

All week with you!

How old is she?

She'll be six months soon.

Sorry.

It's just that I never saw you...

as a dad.

That's why I'm "Papasito", right?

Right.

Okay.

-Time to sleep, right?
-Right.

I can leave, if you like.

-No, no, stay.
-Yeah?

She always takes a while
to fall asleep.

Okay.

Are you ready for
the corniest chanting

in history?

Very ready.

Sleep, the night is yours

Dream, walk with the moon

Sleep, travel,
Dance with the stars

Sleep, dream,
The night is beautiful

Sorry?

What's the matter?

Why are you mad?
She doesn't like to be alone.

I wasn't going to leave you.

Dad's here.

-She's spoilt.
-Yeah.

Okay.

You like being held, don't you?

NO SIGNAL
CHECK CONNECTION AND CHANNELS

Ana.

Ana.

Come meet the love of your life.

CREDITS

TO MY REAL FAMILY

ANY RESEMBLANCE TO REALITY,
PLEASE DON'T TELL MY MOM