American Horror Story (2011–…): Season 7, Episode 1 - Election Night - full transcript
A married couple struggles with their lives and marriage while clowns terrorize the city.
I am officially running...
...for President
of the United States.
I am running for President
of the Unites States.
GOP candidates can't ignore
his money and his populist message.
I will build a great, great wall
on our southern border.
I find it abhorrent
that Donald Trump is suggesting
we register people.
USA! USA!
They're upset
about what they see happening
around them, I get that.
The state department
is in the process
of turning over
more Hillary Clinton e-mails.
This is far bigger than
the accusations
against Donald Trump.
I have a winning temperament.
Where I could stand in
the middle of Fifth Avenue
and shoot somebody,
and I wouldn't lose any voters,
okay?
Donald Trump
trailing Hillary Clinton
by ten points.
There is a very real,
palpable fear out there today.
He is threatening
our democracy.
It's time to remove the rust
- from the Rust Belt.
- Trump followers clashed
with anti-Trump protesters.
...Trump! We want Trump!
You can't just say
whatever pops into your head
if you want to be the President
of the United States of America.
We are going
to make this decision now.
The Fox News Decision Desk
has called...
Pennsylvania for Donald Trump.
This means that Donald Trump
will be
the 45th President
of the United States,
winning the most...
unreal, surreal
election we have ever seen.
The revolution has begun.
It's very, very,
very close in a lot of...
It's over. If she hasn't won
Pennsylvania by now,
she's not coming back.
No, that's bullshit.
I won't believe anything until
I hear Rachel Maddow say it.
She's the only one I trust.
How is this happening?
It's the politics of fear.
It always works.
What started off
as unlikely, impossible,
is now reality.
He said he was
always a winner.
This did not come
without controversy...
Fuck you, world!
USA! USA!
USA...!
Ha-ha!
...have now confirmed that
Secretary Clinton has conceded
to Donald Trump.
Uh, this concession
took place in a phone call.
It is my high honor...
...to introduce to you
the President Elect
of the United States
of America, Donald Trump.
No!
Oh...
no...
USA!
USA!
Oh, Ivy, no!
Is it bad? Did he win?
Oh, go to hell,
Huffington Post!
Fuck you, Nate Silver!
Oh, my God, how could they
have been so wrong about this?
You have to do your cookie breathing
- You've got to do your cookie breathing.
- I can't do my cookie breathing.
- Give me one deep breath.
- No.
Freedom...!
Oh, my God, Ivy.
Merrick Garland.
What's gonna happen
with Merrick Garland?
You want to know who
to get mad at for this?
Our own state of Michigan.
She's losing by 10,000 votes.
That's the size of this town.
And who's at 40,000 votes
and counting?
Jill Stein.
Is that true?
...path to victory
that was unlike
anything we've ever seen.
I hope every one of those
voters who decided it was
a good time to cast a protest
vote is happy when that...
psycho gets us all killed.
Honey,
don't get so worked up.
Shut up, Marylin.
I told you to go vote,
but you didn't listen.
Now look what happened.
Look at our friends on the couch
and tell them that they may not
be able to maintain their rights
as a married couple because
you were too busy today
on Etsy to go vote!
I don't want you to not be
married anymore.
Oh, sweetheart.
Sweetheart, come here.
Listen to me, you don't
have to worry about that.
That is never going to happen.
Okay?
Oz, you don't have to worry.
'Cause nothing
is gonna happen to us.
Okay?
...Donald J. Trump of New York.
It's gonna be... huge.
It's really
good you didn't come, actually.
Everyone's losing their shit.
It's like we went to a wedding
and it turned into a funeral.
We gave a year of our lives
to this.
I dropped out of Vassar.
Why would they send us
to Florida
when we should've been
in Wisconsin?
What if I get pregnant now?
Where will I get an abortion?
I know. Everyone's upset.
Oh, God.
What is wrong with CNN
for not giving us
a trigger warning
before they announce
the results?
I just... I don't know
what's real anymore.
She was supposed to win.
Is this really happening?
Oh, my God.
You're kind of scaring me
right now, Winter.
You cannot self-harm again.
Don't go back down that road.
Winter?
Jesus.
You're such an asshole.
Did you come in here
to rub it in?
Get out!
Get out!
I'm just so scared now.
Everyone is.
Come here.
Wait, stop.
Stop.
Getting to your favorite part.
Wait.
Somebody's watching us.
I can feel it.
I know who. Twisty.
What are you talking about?
It was like 50,
60 years ago.
Mm-hmm?
Right here on this spot.
A deranged clown attacked
a couple on a picnic.
He hacked the dude to death.
They say you can tell
it's him by the layer of drool
he leaves behind 'cause
he got his jaw blown off
by a shotgun blast.
You're such an asshole.
You're just trying to scare me.
'Cause I know it turns you on.
Oh, my God.
Oh!
Get out of here.
Get out of here!
I'm gonna blow you away, fucker.
Oh, my...
Please help!
Help!
911 operator,
what's the emergency?
: Hello. Hello? 911
operator, what is your location?
Hello? Ma'am, I can't hear you.
Are you in need of assistance?
Ma'am?
Wrong number.
"Rraarrrggha...
nnumbber."
Ozzie, sweetheart.
You were supposed
to be asleep 30 minutes ago.
Come on.
What are you reading?
- Nothing.
- Ozzie.
Come on, honey.
A picture of a bare breast
or an erect penis
never hurt anyone.
Come on, fork it over.
Come on.
Mom!
Mom!
Aah! I can't, I can't, I can't,
I can't, I can't, I can't.
You know I can't.
You know I'm afraid.
I'm sorry.
It's not your fault, Oz.
You know I'm afraid.
I can't look at that. Why would you
have it in the house? - It's just...
Stop it! Stop it!
Oh, no!
That's why
it's called a phobia.
It's an irrational fear.
Doesn't make it any
less scary for your mom,
but it's just a comic book.
Just a comic book.
Okay. Okay.
Come on.
I'm sorry, sweetie.
- I'm sorry.
- Here.
Come here.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
All right.
Okay.
We should all get to bed.
Okay?
Okay? She'll be fine.
Good night.
I am so sorry.
My phobias are starting
to affect our son.
Whatever the reason is...
we'll work through it.
Okay?
We will now take statements
from the public on 73-52,
approving extended overtime
for sheriff's deputies
to stand guard
at the Jewish Community
Center on Wildcliff Lane.
First, and only,
on the list to speak
is Kai Anderson
from 4318 Commodore Court.
My fellow Americans,
what do humans love the most?
To what do we give
our highest value?
Is it family...
friends...
our homes... money...
notoriety?
No.
Above all, humans love fear.
The fear that over time
we have honed
and polished and built up,
brick by brick,
until it stands before us
every day as tall
as the Trump Tower.
How do I know we love fear
more than our children?
Because we are willing
to ruin their lives
in service of some
irrational fear of losing them.
No, Billy, you can't walk
to school today.
What if somebody kidnaps you?
: Clara-Belle,
don't listen to rap music.
You might get bad ideas
about yourself.
Every day
we are choosing fear
over freedom.
Freedom of movement,
freedom of congregation,
- freedom of thought...
- I'm sorry.
I'm not seeing what this has
to do with the motion.
Because you don't see anything.
None of you do.
Fear is currency.
It has value.
We don't need more cops.
We need less.
We don't need to protect
the Jewish Community Center.
We need to let them blow it up!
Order!
I'm trying to help you.
Don't you see?
They want to be scared.
They yearn to be so scared
that they don't have
to think anymore,
that they don't have
to want for anything anymore.
Fear will release them
from their desires
and their ambitions
and their bullshit needs!
And then they will come
running to us like children
in a feverish nightmare.
And the chosen few
who are not afraid
of the seas and the heights
and the beasts of the world
will return
at the head of the evolutionary
table to shepherd the weak
into the chosen promised land
of truth and freedom!
Okay. Let me get this straight.
You want us to just let chaos
reign in our community
so that everyone gets so scared
that they'll, what,
give us some sort of unlimited
power to protect them?
Haven't you been watching
what's going on in the world?
I'm just telling you
what's happening, man.
Mm-hmm. Young man...
I appreciate that
a lot of you 4chan guys
feel empowered to join
the rest of us in civil society
now that Papa Bear Trump
is telling you it's okay.
But let me send you a message.
This is a blip,
a temporary intifada.
I know it feels good to have
your worst instincts validated,
but don't be fooled.
Use this opportunity,
now that you're out
of your parents' basement,
to meet a few people
that aren't like you.
You are afraid.
We are not.
And with no one else to speak,
let's vote on 73-52.
Those in favor.
Opposed.
Motion passes.
On to the next
order of business.
What was that?
I said there is nothing
more dangerous in this world
than a humiliated man.
Our housekeeper is gone.
Did I mention that?
The moment that man got elected,
she just stopped showing up
and we don't know
if she went back to Guatemala
or was rounded up.
It's awful.
I honestly don't know
how I'm gonna get through the
next four years, Dr. Vincent.
I really don't.
My anxiety is just as intense
now as it was on election night.
I just keep reliving it
over and over
and it's triggered
all the old phobias.
And I thought I-I-I put that
behind me years ago.
- The recurrence of the coulrophobia?
- Yes.
The clowns.
But also...
...confined spaces
and, uh, uh, blood...
particles in the air, the dark,
that coral thing
that's been staring at me
since I came in here.
- You have a fear of coral?
- No.
No, uh...
I-I, uh...
It's the holes. I...
It's repulsive.
It's been sitting there
for months.
Yes, I know,
and I have been managing that.
It's just...
since election night everything
is just so much worse.
This is just like
what happened to me
in college after 9/11 when
I couldn't leave my apartment.
But you got through it.
Ivy got me through it.
Meeting her...
wanting to be well enough
to be with her...
to prove to her
that I was stable enough
to make a life with.
I was willing
to white-knuckle it,
but then I didn't have to...
because Barack was elected
and-and it was as if
the universe...
righted itself.
I loved our president.
I was proud of him.
And for the first time, I was
included in the discussion,
in the world.
Do you want to know
how I'm dealing?
I cut out social media.
Deleted my Twitter account.
I don't need to know
every crazy thing
that's happening in the world,
especially if there's
nothing I can do about it.
I put all my energy
into working out.
You do look good.
Heh.
CrossFit?
TRX.
Now, I want you to
check out of the world
and into your life.
And I'm prescribing a mild
anti-anxiety medication.
Oh, no. No, no, no.
I-I-I don't like to take drugs.
And I don't like prescribing
them, but you need them.
Look, we're all uneasy with
the state of the world,
but your reactions have been
extreme and if you don't
do something about it,
it's going to affect your child,
your marriage, everything.
It already has.
It's all gonna be okay.
Is it?
...and a fair hearing
for their concerns.
But then the quiet voices
became a loud chorus,
as thousands of citizens
now spoke out together
from cities small and large...
Seems slow tonight.
Yeah. I guess
everybody's at home
watching the president's speech.
Yeah. Can you believe the stuff
he's saying?
Yeah, I know.
We finally got a real leader
in Washington.
...but crucial demand,
that America must put
its own citizens first
because only then can we truly
make America great again.
Hello?
Help.
Help me.
Oh...
Who are you?!
What's up, babe?
Ivy. Ivy!
They're trying to kill me.
What do I do?
What do I do?!
I don't understand.
Wh-What are you talking about?
Are you still at the store?
Stay where you are.
I'm calling the police.
Don't hang up, Ivy!
Calm down, Ally.
Just breathe.
So, what did he say?
Did they find anything?
He said they're looking into it.
What does that mean?
There wasn't anything
on the security cameras?
Didn't they talk to the cashier?
He just saw you
screaming in the aisles
and throwing bottles of rosé.
He didn't hear the music.
He didn't see any clowns
having sex in the
produce section.
Well, that's not possible.
Ivy, I am not making this up.
I know you're not.
I know you're not.
I was targeted.
I am telling you
I was terrorized.
Chased with a knife
through the store.
And their masks,
they were...
They had holes.
It was like they knew my fears.
They wanted to murder me.
Mom?
Uh, Oz, let's, um...
Let's get back to bed.
Okay? Come on.
Thank you.
I didn't realize
we were so far behind.
Well, you haven't been
here since the election.
Um, I need your
feedback on the menu.
It's not like
I haven't tried, Ivy.
It's... it's exactly
like you haven't tried.
Before we opened this place,
we had an agreement.
I know, I'm front of the house.
You're the face.
The open, lovely, beautiful face
of The Butchery On Main,
and I'm in the back
with the knives and the flames.
It's the only way it works.
I'm not the only one
who is having a hard time
adjusting to this new world
we are living in.
When was the last time you came?
I am talking about
the state of our country.
For me, once in the last month.
With no help from you.
I expect more from a marriage.
You want to leave me?
Is this a threat?
- No, I...
- Jesus.
I am being patient with you.
I'm standing by you.
Defended you in front
of the police
when things sounded crazy.
Does that seem like
someone who wants out?
No. What I want is
my partner back.
The woman I fell in love with.
The one I love.
Isn't this more important
than some... stupid election?
Yes, of course.
You are right.
I am so sorry,
and I promise you...
I'm going to get this
under control.
I am going to focus
and get back to work.
- Okay.
- Okay.
What?
This means we're gonna have
to get a new nanny for Oz.
Right.
I'll go home and write
the ad for the new nanny.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
I want you to know
I appreciate you.
I really do, and I am
so grateful
that you didn't tell anybody.
Well, you did it,
and now it's done.
Ivy. Hey.
You forgive me.
You're my wife.
When I got into the booth,
I-I couldn't do it.
I tried.
You know that I did,
but as much as I hate him,
I didn't trust her.
But Jill Stein?
Come on, you can't blame me.
She didn't campaign enough
in the battleground states.
She... she went to Arizona,
for God's sake.
Really? We needed
10,000 votes,
and you would have
been one of them.
Oh!
Jesus Christ!
Sorry, man.
I tripped-- you should have not
been blocking the sidewalk.
There was plenty of room
to go around, asshole.
Enjoy your latte, bitch.
Have a nice day.
- Are you okay?
- Uh...
I'm fine.
Are you okay?
Oh, my God.
Wanted:
part-time nanny
for an active
ten-year-old boy.
We are a two-mom household
looking for open-minded,
responsible in-home help.
Applicant should have
a sunny disposition,
excellent references,
and a valid,
in-state driver's license.
Winter. That's
a pretty name.
Thanks. Some people
call me "Winnie."
So...
Winter,
why don't you tell us
a little bit about yourself?
Assume the position.
Pinky out.
You know the rules.
Once physical contact
has been initiated,
you've consented to answer
all of my questions.
Agreed?
The naked truth--
brutal honesty.
Now, tell me, woman...
what fills your heart
with dread?
Children. I've always
enjoyed children.
I did a lot of babysitting
in high school.
Your most humiliating
experience, tell me.
In fifth grade, Marci Ross found
a love letter I'd written
to Paula Abdul.
She made copies
and spread it around.
Are you a Dyke?
I was at Vassar until last year.
English lit.
Women's studies.
I left during my junior year,
but I fully intend
on going back.
I'm just not ready yet.
Why not?
For the same reason I left.
Me and a bunch of girlfriends
put our education on hold
so we could work full-time
on Hillary's campaign.
What's, uh, the most
physical pain
you've ever experienced
that you didn't do to yourself?
When I let Scottie Mickels
do anal.
I'm so sorry.
Don't be.
It was worth it.
Proudest moment of my life
was when Lena Dunham
re-tweeted me.
I got almost 6,000 followers
from that.
Just not enough to elect
the first woman president.
What's the most intense
moment of pleasure
you've ever had?
When I let Scottie Mickels
do anal.
Was there blood?
Yes.
And poop?
School is-is just so
political, you know?
I just felt like I needed
a break from all that.
And I thought that becoming
a part of someone else's life--
a family--
would be something good.
Who was the last person
that you wanted to kill?
I've never wanted
to kill anybody.
Bullshit.
You're a liar.
The salt-of-the-earth
Americans
who elected our president...
you want them dead...
don't you?
Don't you?!
When can you start?
What's the thing
that scares you the most?
Honestly, Kai?
You.
♪ La cucaracha ♪
♪ La cucaracha ♪
♪ La cucaracha ♪
♪ La cucaracha ♪
♪ La cucaracha ♪
♪ La cucaracha ♪
♪ La cucaracha, la cucaracha ♪
Oh.
♪ La cucaracha ♪
♪ La cucaracha ♪
♪ You asshole wetbacks
aren't welcome here no more ♪
♪ Selling drugs
and doing crimes ♪
Ho!
- Puto muerto!
- Andele!
For a night tasting?
This is supposed to be work.
You get the full treatment.
Maybe...
it'll put you in the mood later.
Well, alcohol always helps.
Think about this
for the prix fixe menu.
Okay. Hey.
This is fun.
Who says I can't be romantic?
This is good soup.
My mom's a chef.
Which one?
Ivy.
Which one's your real mommy?
They're both.
I mean which one
carried you in her belly?
I forgot.
Maybe they never told me.
They ever tell you
about your dad?
Everybody has one.
I'm supposed to say,
"Every family is special
in their own way."
What's that?
Twisty. He's a killer clown.
Is that a knife?
And a dead body?
Are you going to tell my moms?
Have you ever seen
a real dead body?
Thank you.
Oh, man.
Just stop tweeting.
Is this for real?
It's called the Dark Web.
It's where you can find
all the cool stuff.
Scared?
Good.
- What's going on?
- Oh!
There was a clown!
Are you insane?
He was right there.
He was right there!
He was right here.
I swear to God.
- Where did he go?
- There's no one here.
Where are you?!
Ally, please.
Ally, I was just here.
There's no one.
I know what I saw, Ivy!
I know what I saw!
Please.
Will you stop?
This is ridiculous.
Where are you?
Oh, my God.
Ally, calm down.
Where the fuck is he?
I swear.
: I swear to you,
I saw him right there.
What about the bloody crumpet
and the fingers in the endive?
It's a spinach soufflé
with truffle oil.
No, no, no.
No.
Have you been taking
your medicine?
You need to start doing that.
I think I'm going insane.
I think I'm losing my mind.
I don't want
to see this anymore.
Have you ever been vaccinated
for chicken pox or measles?
This is like a vaccination,
but for your brain.
It hurts at first,
but it makes you better.
Don't you want to be strong?
Okay.
I'll get some cookies.
What?
I took the pill.
I'm sorry if I don't like
altering my body chemistry
with controlled substances.
Says the woman who's never
turned down a wine pairing.
Stop the car, stop the car.
Oh, my God, Ivy.
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
hold on, ladies.
This is a crime scene.
We live here and our son
is in that house.
Oz!
Oz!
Ozzie!
Oz!
Ozzie!
Oz!
Mama!
What happened?
Oh, no.
The Changs.
Crazy, right?
I tried to call you guys.
Thom and Marylin?
Are they okay?
They're dead.
It was the clowns.
I saw them get out
of the ice cream truck.
They just stood there
and stared at me.
Winter! Winter!
Dude, slow down.
But you have to see this.
What is wrong with you?
Can we go back?
We're not supposed
to be outside.
Shh.
Come here.
I'll lift you up.
Tell me what you see.
Please.
I tried to tell the police,
but she won't let me.
Oz, why don't you go inside?
Your moms will be in
in a second.
Now you want to look after him?
Are you fucking kidding me?
Officer, would you take him
over there for just...
Ivy, no.
Just for a second.
Please, honey.
Just for a second.
It's okay, baby.
Look, I'm not calling
your son a liar.
He's an imaginative kid,
but none of that happened.
We came out here when we saw
a bunch of police cars pull up.
That was after I found this
in his room.
Oh. Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Should have thrown it away.
Oh, my God.
He has night terrors.
He doesn't even
know he's asleep.
Oh, my God, Ivy.
Oh, God.
Don't look.
Look, there's that detective.
Detective.
Can you tell us what happened?
I'm sorry, ma'am, I can't talk
about it right now.
Oh, that's bullshit.
The Changs were our friends.
We know them.
What happened in there?
Who did this?
Are we even safe here?
You're gonna be fine.
There was nobody else involved.
It looks like a murder suicide.
I'm sorry.
Ivy?
Ivy, did you hear that?
Ivy?
...for President
of the United States.
I am running for President
of the Unites States.
GOP candidates can't ignore
his money and his populist message.
I will build a great, great wall
on our southern border.
I find it abhorrent
that Donald Trump is suggesting
we register people.
USA! USA!
They're upset
about what they see happening
around them, I get that.
The state department
is in the process
of turning over
more Hillary Clinton e-mails.
This is far bigger than
the accusations
against Donald Trump.
I have a winning temperament.
Where I could stand in
the middle of Fifth Avenue
and shoot somebody,
and I wouldn't lose any voters,
okay?
Donald Trump
trailing Hillary Clinton
by ten points.
There is a very real,
palpable fear out there today.
He is threatening
our democracy.
It's time to remove the rust
- from the Rust Belt.
- Trump followers clashed
with anti-Trump protesters.
...Trump! We want Trump!
You can't just say
whatever pops into your head
if you want to be the President
of the United States of America.
We are going
to make this decision now.
The Fox News Decision Desk
has called...
Pennsylvania for Donald Trump.
This means that Donald Trump
will be
the 45th President
of the United States,
winning the most...
unreal, surreal
election we have ever seen.
The revolution has begun.
It's very, very,
very close in a lot of...
It's over. If she hasn't won
Pennsylvania by now,
she's not coming back.
No, that's bullshit.
I won't believe anything until
I hear Rachel Maddow say it.
She's the only one I trust.
How is this happening?
It's the politics of fear.
It always works.
What started off
as unlikely, impossible,
is now reality.
He said he was
always a winner.
This did not come
without controversy...
Fuck you, world!
USA! USA!
USA...!
Ha-ha!
...have now confirmed that
Secretary Clinton has conceded
to Donald Trump.
Uh, this concession
took place in a phone call.
It is my high honor...
...to introduce to you
the President Elect
of the United States
of America, Donald Trump.
No!
Oh...
no...
USA!
USA!
Oh, Ivy, no!
Is it bad? Did he win?
Oh, go to hell,
Huffington Post!
Fuck you, Nate Silver!
Oh, my God, how could they
have been so wrong about this?
You have to do your cookie breathing
- You've got to do your cookie breathing.
- I can't do my cookie breathing.
- Give me one deep breath.
- No.
Freedom...!
Oh, my God, Ivy.
Merrick Garland.
What's gonna happen
with Merrick Garland?
You want to know who
to get mad at for this?
Our own state of Michigan.
She's losing by 10,000 votes.
That's the size of this town.
And who's at 40,000 votes
and counting?
Jill Stein.
Is that true?
...path to victory
that was unlike
anything we've ever seen.
I hope every one of those
voters who decided it was
a good time to cast a protest
vote is happy when that...
psycho gets us all killed.
Honey,
don't get so worked up.
Shut up, Marylin.
I told you to go vote,
but you didn't listen.
Now look what happened.
Look at our friends on the couch
and tell them that they may not
be able to maintain their rights
as a married couple because
you were too busy today
on Etsy to go vote!
I don't want you to not be
married anymore.
Oh, sweetheart.
Sweetheart, come here.
Listen to me, you don't
have to worry about that.
That is never going to happen.
Okay?
Oz, you don't have to worry.
'Cause nothing
is gonna happen to us.
Okay?
...Donald J. Trump of New York.
It's gonna be... huge.
It's really
good you didn't come, actually.
Everyone's losing their shit.
It's like we went to a wedding
and it turned into a funeral.
We gave a year of our lives
to this.
I dropped out of Vassar.
Why would they send us
to Florida
when we should've been
in Wisconsin?
What if I get pregnant now?
Where will I get an abortion?
I know. Everyone's upset.
Oh, God.
What is wrong with CNN
for not giving us
a trigger warning
before they announce
the results?
I just... I don't know
what's real anymore.
She was supposed to win.
Is this really happening?
Oh, my God.
You're kind of scaring me
right now, Winter.
You cannot self-harm again.
Don't go back down that road.
Winter?
Jesus.
You're such an asshole.
Did you come in here
to rub it in?
Get out!
Get out!
I'm just so scared now.
Everyone is.
Come here.
Wait, stop.
Stop.
Getting to your favorite part.
Wait.
Somebody's watching us.
I can feel it.
I know who. Twisty.
What are you talking about?
It was like 50,
60 years ago.
Mm-hmm?
Right here on this spot.
A deranged clown attacked
a couple on a picnic.
He hacked the dude to death.
They say you can tell
it's him by the layer of drool
he leaves behind 'cause
he got his jaw blown off
by a shotgun blast.
You're such an asshole.
You're just trying to scare me.
'Cause I know it turns you on.
Oh, my God.
Oh!
Get out of here.
Get out of here!
I'm gonna blow you away, fucker.
Oh, my...
Please help!
Help!
911 operator,
what's the emergency?
: Hello. Hello? 911
operator, what is your location?
Hello? Ma'am, I can't hear you.
Are you in need of assistance?
Ma'am?
Wrong number.
"Rraarrrggha...
nnumbber."
Ozzie, sweetheart.
You were supposed
to be asleep 30 minutes ago.
Come on.
What are you reading?
- Nothing.
- Ozzie.
Come on, honey.
A picture of a bare breast
or an erect penis
never hurt anyone.
Come on, fork it over.
Come on.
Mom!
Mom!
Aah! I can't, I can't, I can't,
I can't, I can't, I can't.
You know I can't.
You know I'm afraid.
I'm sorry.
It's not your fault, Oz.
You know I'm afraid.
I can't look at that. Why would you
have it in the house? - It's just...
Stop it! Stop it!
Oh, no!
That's why
it's called a phobia.
It's an irrational fear.
Doesn't make it any
less scary for your mom,
but it's just a comic book.
Just a comic book.
Okay. Okay.
Come on.
I'm sorry, sweetie.
- I'm sorry.
- Here.
Come here.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
All right.
Okay.
We should all get to bed.
Okay?
Okay? She'll be fine.
Good night.
I am so sorry.
My phobias are starting
to affect our son.
Whatever the reason is...
we'll work through it.
Okay?
We will now take statements
from the public on 73-52,
approving extended overtime
for sheriff's deputies
to stand guard
at the Jewish Community
Center on Wildcliff Lane.
First, and only,
on the list to speak
is Kai Anderson
from 4318 Commodore Court.
My fellow Americans,
what do humans love the most?
To what do we give
our highest value?
Is it family...
friends...
our homes... money...
notoriety?
No.
Above all, humans love fear.
The fear that over time
we have honed
and polished and built up,
brick by brick,
until it stands before us
every day as tall
as the Trump Tower.
How do I know we love fear
more than our children?
Because we are willing
to ruin their lives
in service of some
irrational fear of losing them.
No, Billy, you can't walk
to school today.
What if somebody kidnaps you?
: Clara-Belle,
don't listen to rap music.
You might get bad ideas
about yourself.
Every day
we are choosing fear
over freedom.
Freedom of movement,
freedom of congregation,
- freedom of thought...
- I'm sorry.
I'm not seeing what this has
to do with the motion.
Because you don't see anything.
None of you do.
Fear is currency.
It has value.
We don't need more cops.
We need less.
We don't need to protect
the Jewish Community Center.
We need to let them blow it up!
Order!
I'm trying to help you.
Don't you see?
They want to be scared.
They yearn to be so scared
that they don't have
to think anymore,
that they don't have
to want for anything anymore.
Fear will release them
from their desires
and their ambitions
and their bullshit needs!
And then they will come
running to us like children
in a feverish nightmare.
And the chosen few
who are not afraid
of the seas and the heights
and the beasts of the world
will return
at the head of the evolutionary
table to shepherd the weak
into the chosen promised land
of truth and freedom!
Okay. Let me get this straight.
You want us to just let chaos
reign in our community
so that everyone gets so scared
that they'll, what,
give us some sort of unlimited
power to protect them?
Haven't you been watching
what's going on in the world?
I'm just telling you
what's happening, man.
Mm-hmm. Young man...
I appreciate that
a lot of you 4chan guys
feel empowered to join
the rest of us in civil society
now that Papa Bear Trump
is telling you it's okay.
But let me send you a message.
This is a blip,
a temporary intifada.
I know it feels good to have
your worst instincts validated,
but don't be fooled.
Use this opportunity,
now that you're out
of your parents' basement,
to meet a few people
that aren't like you.
You are afraid.
We are not.
And with no one else to speak,
let's vote on 73-52.
Those in favor.
Opposed.
Motion passes.
On to the next
order of business.
What was that?
I said there is nothing
more dangerous in this world
than a humiliated man.
Our housekeeper is gone.
Did I mention that?
The moment that man got elected,
she just stopped showing up
and we don't know
if she went back to Guatemala
or was rounded up.
It's awful.
I honestly don't know
how I'm gonna get through the
next four years, Dr. Vincent.
I really don't.
My anxiety is just as intense
now as it was on election night.
I just keep reliving it
over and over
and it's triggered
all the old phobias.
And I thought I-I-I put that
behind me years ago.
- The recurrence of the coulrophobia?
- Yes.
The clowns.
But also...
...confined spaces
and, uh, uh, blood...
particles in the air, the dark,
that coral thing
that's been staring at me
since I came in here.
- You have a fear of coral?
- No.
No, uh...
I-I, uh...
It's the holes. I...
It's repulsive.
It's been sitting there
for months.
Yes, I know,
and I have been managing that.
It's just...
since election night everything
is just so much worse.
This is just like
what happened to me
in college after 9/11 when
I couldn't leave my apartment.
But you got through it.
Ivy got me through it.
Meeting her...
wanting to be well enough
to be with her...
to prove to her
that I was stable enough
to make a life with.
I was willing
to white-knuckle it,
but then I didn't have to...
because Barack was elected
and-and it was as if
the universe...
righted itself.
I loved our president.
I was proud of him.
And for the first time, I was
included in the discussion,
in the world.
Do you want to know
how I'm dealing?
I cut out social media.
Deleted my Twitter account.
I don't need to know
every crazy thing
that's happening in the world,
especially if there's
nothing I can do about it.
I put all my energy
into working out.
You do look good.
Heh.
CrossFit?
TRX.
Now, I want you to
check out of the world
and into your life.
And I'm prescribing a mild
anti-anxiety medication.
Oh, no. No, no, no.
I-I-I don't like to take drugs.
And I don't like prescribing
them, but you need them.
Look, we're all uneasy with
the state of the world,
but your reactions have been
extreme and if you don't
do something about it,
it's going to affect your child,
your marriage, everything.
It already has.
It's all gonna be okay.
Is it?
...and a fair hearing
for their concerns.
But then the quiet voices
became a loud chorus,
as thousands of citizens
now spoke out together
from cities small and large...
Seems slow tonight.
Yeah. I guess
everybody's at home
watching the president's speech.
Yeah. Can you believe the stuff
he's saying?
Yeah, I know.
We finally got a real leader
in Washington.
...but crucial demand,
that America must put
its own citizens first
because only then can we truly
make America great again.
Hello?
Help.
Help me.
Oh...
Who are you?!
What's up, babe?
Ivy. Ivy!
They're trying to kill me.
What do I do?
What do I do?!
I don't understand.
Wh-What are you talking about?
Are you still at the store?
Stay where you are.
I'm calling the police.
Don't hang up, Ivy!
Calm down, Ally.
Just breathe.
So, what did he say?
Did they find anything?
He said they're looking into it.
What does that mean?
There wasn't anything
on the security cameras?
Didn't they talk to the cashier?
He just saw you
screaming in the aisles
and throwing bottles of rosé.
He didn't hear the music.
He didn't see any clowns
having sex in the
produce section.
Well, that's not possible.
Ivy, I am not making this up.
I know you're not.
I know you're not.
I was targeted.
I am telling you
I was terrorized.
Chased with a knife
through the store.
And their masks,
they were...
They had holes.
It was like they knew my fears.
They wanted to murder me.
Mom?
Uh, Oz, let's, um...
Let's get back to bed.
Okay? Come on.
Thank you.
I didn't realize
we were so far behind.
Well, you haven't been
here since the election.
Um, I need your
feedback on the menu.
It's not like
I haven't tried, Ivy.
It's... it's exactly
like you haven't tried.
Before we opened this place,
we had an agreement.
I know, I'm front of the house.
You're the face.
The open, lovely, beautiful face
of The Butchery On Main,
and I'm in the back
with the knives and the flames.
It's the only way it works.
I'm not the only one
who is having a hard time
adjusting to this new world
we are living in.
When was the last time you came?
I am talking about
the state of our country.
For me, once in the last month.
With no help from you.
I expect more from a marriage.
You want to leave me?
Is this a threat?
- No, I...
- Jesus.
I am being patient with you.
I'm standing by you.
Defended you in front
of the police
when things sounded crazy.
Does that seem like
someone who wants out?
No. What I want is
my partner back.
The woman I fell in love with.
The one I love.
Isn't this more important
than some... stupid election?
Yes, of course.
You are right.
I am so sorry,
and I promise you...
I'm going to get this
under control.
I am going to focus
and get back to work.
- Okay.
- Okay.
What?
This means we're gonna have
to get a new nanny for Oz.
Right.
I'll go home and write
the ad for the new nanny.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
I want you to know
I appreciate you.
I really do, and I am
so grateful
that you didn't tell anybody.
Well, you did it,
and now it's done.
Ivy. Hey.
You forgive me.
You're my wife.
When I got into the booth,
I-I couldn't do it.
I tried.
You know that I did,
but as much as I hate him,
I didn't trust her.
But Jill Stein?
Come on, you can't blame me.
She didn't campaign enough
in the battleground states.
She... she went to Arizona,
for God's sake.
Really? We needed
10,000 votes,
and you would have
been one of them.
Oh!
Jesus Christ!
Sorry, man.
I tripped-- you should have not
been blocking the sidewalk.
There was plenty of room
to go around, asshole.
Enjoy your latte, bitch.
Have a nice day.
- Are you okay?
- Uh...
I'm fine.
Are you okay?
Oh, my God.
Wanted:
part-time nanny
for an active
ten-year-old boy.
We are a two-mom household
looking for open-minded,
responsible in-home help.
Applicant should have
a sunny disposition,
excellent references,
and a valid,
in-state driver's license.
Winter. That's
a pretty name.
Thanks. Some people
call me "Winnie."
So...
Winter,
why don't you tell us
a little bit about yourself?
Assume the position.
Pinky out.
You know the rules.
Once physical contact
has been initiated,
you've consented to answer
all of my questions.
Agreed?
The naked truth--
brutal honesty.
Now, tell me, woman...
what fills your heart
with dread?
Children. I've always
enjoyed children.
I did a lot of babysitting
in high school.
Your most humiliating
experience, tell me.
In fifth grade, Marci Ross found
a love letter I'd written
to Paula Abdul.
She made copies
and spread it around.
Are you a Dyke?
I was at Vassar until last year.
English lit.
Women's studies.
I left during my junior year,
but I fully intend
on going back.
I'm just not ready yet.
Why not?
For the same reason I left.
Me and a bunch of girlfriends
put our education on hold
so we could work full-time
on Hillary's campaign.
What's, uh, the most
physical pain
you've ever experienced
that you didn't do to yourself?
When I let Scottie Mickels
do anal.
I'm so sorry.
Don't be.
It was worth it.
Proudest moment of my life
was when Lena Dunham
re-tweeted me.
I got almost 6,000 followers
from that.
Just not enough to elect
the first woman president.
What's the most intense
moment of pleasure
you've ever had?
When I let Scottie Mickels
do anal.
Was there blood?
Yes.
And poop?
School is-is just so
political, you know?
I just felt like I needed
a break from all that.
And I thought that becoming
a part of someone else's life--
a family--
would be something good.
Who was the last person
that you wanted to kill?
I've never wanted
to kill anybody.
Bullshit.
You're a liar.
The salt-of-the-earth
Americans
who elected our president...
you want them dead...
don't you?
Don't you?!
When can you start?
What's the thing
that scares you the most?
Honestly, Kai?
You.
♪ La cucaracha ♪
♪ La cucaracha ♪
♪ La cucaracha ♪
♪ La cucaracha ♪
♪ La cucaracha ♪
♪ La cucaracha ♪
♪ La cucaracha, la cucaracha ♪
Oh.
♪ La cucaracha ♪
♪ La cucaracha ♪
♪ You asshole wetbacks
aren't welcome here no more ♪
♪ Selling drugs
and doing crimes ♪
Ho!
- Puto muerto!
- Andele!
For a night tasting?
This is supposed to be work.
You get the full treatment.
Maybe...
it'll put you in the mood later.
Well, alcohol always helps.
Think about this
for the prix fixe menu.
Okay. Hey.
This is fun.
Who says I can't be romantic?
This is good soup.
My mom's a chef.
Which one?
Ivy.
Which one's your real mommy?
They're both.
I mean which one
carried you in her belly?
I forgot.
Maybe they never told me.
They ever tell you
about your dad?
Everybody has one.
I'm supposed to say,
"Every family is special
in their own way."
What's that?
Twisty. He's a killer clown.
Is that a knife?
And a dead body?
Are you going to tell my moms?
Have you ever seen
a real dead body?
Thank you.
Oh, man.
Just stop tweeting.
Is this for real?
It's called the Dark Web.
It's where you can find
all the cool stuff.
Scared?
Good.
- What's going on?
- Oh!
There was a clown!
Are you insane?
He was right there.
He was right there!
He was right here.
I swear to God.
- Where did he go?
- There's no one here.
Where are you?!
Ally, please.
Ally, I was just here.
There's no one.
I know what I saw, Ivy!
I know what I saw!
Please.
Will you stop?
This is ridiculous.
Where are you?
Oh, my God.
Ally, calm down.
Where the fuck is he?
I swear.
: I swear to you,
I saw him right there.
What about the bloody crumpet
and the fingers in the endive?
It's a spinach soufflé
with truffle oil.
No, no, no.
No.
Have you been taking
your medicine?
You need to start doing that.
I think I'm going insane.
I think I'm losing my mind.
I don't want
to see this anymore.
Have you ever been vaccinated
for chicken pox or measles?
This is like a vaccination,
but for your brain.
It hurts at first,
but it makes you better.
Don't you want to be strong?
Okay.
I'll get some cookies.
What?
I took the pill.
I'm sorry if I don't like
altering my body chemistry
with controlled substances.
Says the woman who's never
turned down a wine pairing.
Stop the car, stop the car.
Oh, my God, Ivy.
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
hold on, ladies.
This is a crime scene.
We live here and our son
is in that house.
Oz!
Oz!
Ozzie!
Oz!
Ozzie!
Oz!
Mama!
What happened?
Oh, no.
The Changs.
Crazy, right?
I tried to call you guys.
Thom and Marylin?
Are they okay?
They're dead.
It was the clowns.
I saw them get out
of the ice cream truck.
They just stood there
and stared at me.
Winter! Winter!
Dude, slow down.
But you have to see this.
What is wrong with you?
Can we go back?
We're not supposed
to be outside.
Shh.
Come here.
I'll lift you up.
Tell me what you see.
Please.
I tried to tell the police,
but she won't let me.
Oz, why don't you go inside?
Your moms will be in
in a second.
Now you want to look after him?
Are you fucking kidding me?
Officer, would you take him
over there for just...
Ivy, no.
Just for a second.
Please, honey.
Just for a second.
It's okay, baby.
Look, I'm not calling
your son a liar.
He's an imaginative kid,
but none of that happened.
We came out here when we saw
a bunch of police cars pull up.
That was after I found this
in his room.
Oh. Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Should have thrown it away.
Oh, my God.
He has night terrors.
He doesn't even
know he's asleep.
Oh, my God, Ivy.
Oh, God.
Don't look.
Look, there's that detective.
Detective.
Can you tell us what happened?
I'm sorry, ma'am, I can't talk
about it right now.
Oh, that's bullshit.
The Changs were our friends.
We know them.
What happened in there?
Who did this?
Are we even safe here?
You're gonna be fine.
There was nobody else involved.
It looks like a murder suicide.
I'm sorry.
Ivy?
Ivy, did you hear that?
Ivy?