American Horror Story (2011–…): Season 4, Episode 7 - Test of Strength - full transcript

Dandy:
Bette?

Dot?

Here you are.

You have a visitor.

This young man was concerned
about your welfare.

As you can see,

Bette and dot
aren't prisoners,

They're
our guests.

They can leave
anytime they want.

Is that true?

We're being treated
very well, jimmy.



Gloria:
When the girls first
stepped foot in our house,

They were malnourished,
both body and soul.

A daily regimen of
vitamins and foie gras

Brought the pink
back to their pallor.

Bette, dot, I
know this seems

Like the life of riley now,
but trust me,

This is no place for you.

Because
to them,

You're nothing more
than a curiosity.

A freak
to gawk at.

So what do you
want us to do?

Go back to
the show?

How is that any different?

Jimmy:
Because you'd have



A whole community of
people to protect you.

Gloria:
Why would we harm

A hair on
their heads?

We paid good money
for these girls.

Dandy:
Mother's right.

Don't listen to a word.

Everything he says
is a lie.

Bette:
Jimmy, you told us

You saved those kids
from the killer clown.

It was dandy.

He was there when
you were unconscious.

He's the real hero.

Dandy:
Ladies and gentlemen!

I've always wondered

How this trick was done.
Haven't you?

Leave her alone!

Bette...

Dot...

...You have to come with me.

Now.
Dandy:
You don't give

The orders
in this house.

Dot,

I know you have
mixed feelings.

You're thinking of
getting the surgery,
which I'll never allow.

'cause you'd never cut a girl
in half, would you, dandy?

Shut up!
Stop trying to ruin everything!

How do you know, dandy?

About the surgery?

I told you there will be
no secrets between us.

You read my diary.

I want to leave.

She can't leave
without bette.

We're in love,

And love trumps everything.

Jimmy:
Well, your mother said

The girls could go
any time they want.

Let's let them decide.

Bette,

I know you love me.

Tell them

You want to stay

And live forever
in luxury with me.
(laughs)

Dot:
There's something wrong
with dandy and you know it.

I'm sorry.

But I choose my sister,

Always.

We have to go.

Jimmy:
Testing.

Okay, let's do this.

One, two, three.

(playing nirvana's
"come as you are")

¶ come as you are

¶ as you were

¶ as I want you to be

¶ as a friend, as a friend

¶ as an old enemy

¶ take your time

¶ hurry up

¶ the choice is yours

¶ don't be late

¶ take a rest

¶ as a friend

¶ as an old memory...

¶ memory, ah

¶ memory, ah

¶ well, I swear

¶ that I don't have a gun

¶ no, I don't have a gun

¶

Hey, uh...

You seen
andy around?

Not since the last time
you came by looking.

Never fall in love with
a hustler. That's my advice.

¶ memory, ah

¶ memory, ah

You keep your mouth shut!

¶ and I swear

¶ that I don't have a gun

¶ memory, ah.

(microphone whining)

Truthfully? Adequate.

Jimmy:
I'm not changing anything.

That's the song,
that's how I'm doing it.

Tonight.
Mid-show number.

Ha!

Do you honestly believe

That I would allow you

To sap the energy
of the audience? Huh?

Remember to whom you speak.

I know exactly
who I'm talking to!

A liar.

And we don't take
orders from liars.

What's going on here, huh?
What is this?

The twins,
elsa.

We know what you
did with the twins.

They ran off!

I told you that.

Yeah, we heard
your story.

Maybe it's time
we heard theirs.

What?

You sold
them off.

Like pets.

That's not quite how
it happened, actually...

Bette
what are you doing?

Dot:
Keep it buttoned.

I know what I'm doing.

It's true miss elsa
took us to dandy mott,

But only because I asked her to.

But you said
that...

Well, you misunderstood.

Miss elsa
didn't sell us.

She helped us.

We wanted to experience
the finer things in life.

And elsa

Was kind enough
to make that happen.

But she also said we
always had a home here,

If that's what
we wanted.

So we've decided to come home.

If you'll have us.

Well, of course, my darlings.

Anything
you want.

Desiree:
Miss ethel,

We'll get this
taken care of.

Don't you worry about me.

The good doctor's
gonna fix me up,

Right as rain.

You be sure and
book your surgery.

Desiree: Oh, I will.
I can hardly wait.

"closed for
business"?

What on earth?

(door opens)

Where's dr.
Bonham?

He's dead.

Oh, no...

Spare me
the theatrics.

I'm not a fan of yours.

Well, you're a very
rude young woman.

Who are you?

I'm his daughter.

Oh, you're the one

He moved down here for?

No.

I'm the other one.

The one without
a husband and children.

I came down from boston
to bury him.

What happened to him?

You killed him!

Your very existence

Challenged his beliefs
in god and science.

So before he blew
his brains out,

He took a hammer and
smashed both of his hands.

The hands of a surgeon.

They were his most
valuable possession.
Oh, god...

What am I gonna do now?

You're gonna get out, before
I call the cops.
Oh, come...
Just a minute...

Get out, you freaks!

Oh, ho, ho! Okay.

Whoa...

(chuckles)

Huh.

(grunts)

Hey, it's the strong man.

I keep trying
with this thing

And I can't even
get it halfway up.

I feel like
a damn fairy.

Hey, don't be cute, buddy.

I'm in the mood
to hurt someone today,

And trust me, you don't
want it to be you.
What's the matter?

You can't actually
get it up?

(bell dings)

Well, I'll be.

Say, what do you say we go
get a drink and you, uh,

You tell me
your trick?

I know this place a
couple of towns over

Called, uh...
High noon.

What?

Oh! You-you haven't
heard of it?

Why, that's funny, because
I saw you there today.

And so did a lot of
other people, I'm sure.

You were pretty upset
about one of those,

Uh, sweet little things
that works there.

Maggie:
What's going on, fellas?

Kind of hard
to hit the bell

When richard's in
your way, isn't it?

You might
hit him instead.

Ah, these things are
rigged anyway, right?

Dell and I are gonna
head into the tent
to chat, instead.

You got it.

Rule number one.

When attempting to blackmail
a man with freakish strength

And a mean streak the
size of the panhandle,

Make sure you
got witnesses.

Stanley:
You're my ideal man.

And I'm not talking about
your bulging muscles.

Though I have
to admit--

For someone so strong, you
lack the beefcake look.

No.

You have the three qualities
I love in a person.

One-- you lack a moral code.

Two-- you can kill a man
with your bare hands.

And three-- you have
to do whatever I say,

Or I'm gonna make sure
this whole place knows

That you have someone else's
shit under your fingernails.

Oh, I'm gonna kill you.

Not now, you won't.

Maggie saw us
come in here.

And not later.

'cause I'm very good
with this thing.

I like to aim
for the jewels.

Kind of my
signature shot.

The screams of the men
who have been nut-shot

Are so specific.

Came here to make a deal, right?

Talk.

I need one of your freaks.

Dead.

Keep it clean, I want
the body intact.

And it needs to look like
they just disappeared.

You want me to kill
one of my own?

I weep from your sudden
sentimentality.

There's a barn a couple of miles
due west of here.

Bring the body there.

You've got a day.

(whistles casually)

Maggie:
What's on your mind?

You're a million miles
away tonight.
(doo-wop song plays)

I was just thinking
about the twins.

How they changed
their story.

Made me look like a fool
in front of everybody.

Maybe they got confused.

No, there's something weird
going on around here.

I don't know what, but it's
got my head all screwed up.

Maybe it's
another sign.

That it's time
for us to go.

We could leave right now,
before the sun comes up.

Unless you changed
your mind...

No, of course not.

I'll go with you.

Then let's go.

Right now.

I can't right now.

It doesn't feel right.

That rich kid,

You should have seen the way
he was looking at the twins.

And that second clown--

Do you think you would recognize
his voice if you heard it?

I-I don't know.

He was... He was wearing
that mask.

And it's over.

Why does it matter?

Because justice
is justice.

That guy almost
sawed you in half.

If the rich kid did
it, he has to pay.

You know
what I think?

You're stalling.

No, I'm not.

I want to go.

I just need a few more days
to get everything in order.

That's bullshit.

You're never gonna
leave this place.

¶ you knew when you loved me

¶ I never would resist...

¶

¶ I never would resist...

You trying
to get with me?

¶ I'll give in...

Don't make this difficult now.

(screams)
goddamn it!

¶ my only sin

¶ but the same guided missiles

¶ will get you in the end...

(screams)

All right, all right,
uncle, uncle.

¶ but the same guided missiles

¶ will get you in the...

¶ end.

Who's the strong man now?

Amazon eve:
And all I can think about is

His grubby hands
all over me.

(groans)

No, keep your
hand on ice.

Your swelling will
never go down.
Ugh.

Dell's done a lot
of rotten things, but this?

He must be out
of his mind.

We got to get
our facts straight,

So when we go to the cops...

Cops?

You of all people saying that.

Dell is our problem;
we're gonna fix it.

We're gonna sneak into
his trailer, kill him.

What?! Whoa, whoa!

Ma, where's this coming from?

I know him, jimmy.

I know what
he's capable of.

And you don't.

Jesus, ma, well,
at least let me talk to him.

Amazon eve: What if
he'd come after maggie?

You'd be the first one
charging in with a gun.

Suzi: You don't know
what it's like,

Peepers flipping up our skirts.

Ethel: You know what
your problem is, jimmy?

You're stuck on the rosy notion

That the world operates
on goodness,

Decency.

Truth is--

All goodness guarantees ya...

Is an early grave.

But the biggest joke of all--

The thing that'll sink ya
every time...

...Is hope.

Hope that the world
will right itself.

That the just will be rewarded
and the wicked punished.

Oh, once you buy into
that horseshit,

You're dead in the water.

The only way to survive

In this disgusting
godforsaken world...

...Is to take control.

Ain't nobody gonna take
care of our people but us.

Dell hurt one
of our own,

We can't let him
get away with that.

Can't let...

That degenerate prick win.

He's got to pay.

He will, ma, he will.

I can make it right.

I'll kick his ass to the curb,
I'll tell him

To get the hell out of here,
never come back.

Trust me.

I can handle dell.

You handle him.

Or we will.

(bell clangs)

See that?

Easy-peasy-japanesey.

Sweet holy jesus, ralph.

You only got
halfway up there.

(laughing): I-I've
seen nine-year-old girls

In pigtails hit it
higher than that.

Jimmy: I've got
to talk to you.

Man to man.

Well, tell me when
the other man shows up,

And I'll talk to him.

Funny. Not here.

All right.

Let's go into town.

I'll let you buy me a drink.

So, tell me--

What do you girls
want in exchange

For that charming tale
about my kindness?

You want me
to stay here

And not compete
with your hollywood, uh,

Siamese twins floor wax hour?

We're not going
to hollywood.

We don't trust
richard spencer.

Why take a chance
on a stranger

When we have all
we need right here?

Hmm, so that's all you want?

To stay here?

Just tell her
what you told me.

Go on.

I want to become a comedienne.

Like eve arden. And
I could crack jokes

And tell
stories

In between songs.
Oh, and I want caviar

For breakfast. And I want
to dye my hair blonde.

And 20.

And 20% of the box office.

Off
the top.

You can have it.

Once I'm in hollywood.

We want the money now.

And we also want
the money

That gloria gave you
when you sold us.

(chuckles)

This is blackmail.

My, my, my.

You girls have come a long way

Since I've rescued you
from the hospital.

What about you, dot?

Hmm?

You're very quiet.

Do you condone
this... Outrageous behavior?

In fact,
I think we should take 50%

Of the
box office.

¶ you're mine

¶ and we belong...

(groaning)

Jesus, what the hell
was that, gasoline?

(chuckles)

It tastes like piss
on fire,

But it's cheap. It'll get you
drunk twice as fast.

Let's have another one.

One's good for me.
I don't do liquor.

I seen what it did to my ma.

I'm scared, once I start,
I won't be able to stop.
Come on.

You're not gonna become a drunk
in one night. It doesn't work

That way.

(sighs)
fine. You want
to talk? Talk.

Fine. I don't know what happened
between you and amazon eve,

But they're putting together
a lynch mob to string you up

By your balls.
That woman is nuts.

I mean, I just went
in there to...

Talk to her
about maybe doing a little...

Strong man and strong woman act
in the show.

I didn't get one word out,
and she's smashing me
over the head with a frying pan.

That's not what she says.

Hey, just leave
the bottle here.

What are you,
a mama's boy?

We're supposed to have
a man-to-man.

Well, men drink.

Attaboy.

(sighs)
(coughs)

She can say whatever she wants.

Look at her. Look at me.

Who got
the worst of it?

It doesn't matter
who's telling the truth.

Those gals are gonna
mess you up.
(chuckles)

Yeah.
You and me are no friends
to each other,

And I'm not gonna miss you
when you're gone,
no matter how you go,

But we've had enough
trouble already this year.

¶ and we belong together

¶ yes, we belong together

¶ ah-ah-ah-ah

¶ for all eternity...

¶ eternity ¶

¶ you're mine...

You must sweat like a
thoroughbred with those.

(coughs)

Yeah, but it's worth it

To be able to be
out here in the world.

Living a life,
talking to girls...

I guess it...

It would be nice not
to have to wear them.

I remember this one time,

We were camping up
in wisconsin all summer.

Yeah, and things were
going pretty good,

So elsa extended our stay
into the fall.

But when she did that,

Our winter spot
down in tampa fell through

And we had to ride out the whole
winter up there in the cold.

It was fun at first,
'cause most of those guys

Had never seen
snow before, but...

By January, everybody was
shitting their pants

From the cold.

I went out hunting and...

Shot a rabbit.

Skinned it for a coat
for ma petite.

You ever see those pictures
in life magazines

Of the african tribal warriors
where the...

Where the whole head
and the skin of a...

A lion,
like a cloak?

That's what ma petite
looked like.

Except...

...Except it was
with a rabbit head.

(chuckles)

(laughs)

I can see it.

I can
see that.

Man, I love that little broad.

Anyway...

Those were the best
few months of my life,

Because I was
just a guy wearing gloves.

Just like every other guy.

Least I could
pretend I was, you know?

Give me the gloves.

¶ and we belong together

¶ yes, we belong together...

You got nothing
to be ashamed of.

If anyone looks
at you funny,

I'll break
their skulls.

Ah.

Unless it's a girl, right?

(both laugh)

Unless it's a girl.

(coughs, laughs)

I don't feel good.
I think

I got to go.

(coughing)

Oh.

(spits, groans)

(splashing)

(heaves, coughing)

(quiet moaning)

I...

I know who you are.

I always known.

Hell, just the way
mama hates you

Tells me everything
I need to know.

But I got proof.

I asked some of the old-timers,

The ones that have been around
since methuselah was a kid.

They told me
about your dad

And your brothers.

The famous toledo
lobster clan.

I don't know why you
don't got 'em. (sniffles)

But you gave me these.

But I want to hear you say it.

(sniffles)

You're my father.

Say it.

Tell me.

Come on,
say it, dad.

You're my dad.

Please, come on, ans...

Answer me.

Come on.
Come on.

Yes, son.

It's true.

You got to go, dad.

They're gonna kill you.

It's okay.

I'll figure something out.

Yeah.

Let's get you home.

Come on, now.
Let's go home.

Come on.

¶ have you heard about
the big strong man? ¶
¶ strong man

¶ well, he lived
in a caravan ¶
¶ a caravan!

¶ have you heard about the
jeffrey johnson fight? ¶
(rooster cries)

¶ oh, what a hell
of a fight ¶

¶ you can take all
the heavyweights you got ¶
that's right!

¶ we've got a lad
who can beat the whole lot ¶

¶ sylvest'
hey, what do you got?

¶ he got a row of 40 medals
on his chest ¶

Big chest!
Big chest!
Hey!

You two are drunk.

I won't have you
wake up the entire camp

With your
caterwauling.

Too late for that.
Jimmy,

Don't let that man
corrupt you with his

Bad habits.

You still got time
to be somebody.

Aw, he is somebody.

He's my son.

Thought I wouldn't go through
with that, did you, dessi?

But I'm proud to admit it.

Jimmy's my son!
Yeah!

Wow.

Congratulations, huh?

Must have taken
real courage

To finally proclaim your progeny
after 24 years.

Why don't you two go to bed
and sleep it off.

You know, jimmy,

This is the perfect time

For me to tell you something
that my father told me.

What?

It's the toledo code.

The first minute you let
a woman tell you what to do

Is the first minute
you hand your balls to 'em.

I want to
keep my balls.

You hold on to them, son.

Things are gonna change
around here, elsa.

No more
bossing us around, okay?

You got two strong bulls here
ready to run this whole joint.

That's right.

(grunts)
ow.
(laughing)

Idiots.

Come on,
come on.
(groans)

Sing something else.
Sing it!
Shh.

Shh, shh.
Sing it, baby!

Sing it.

Go.

Shh, quiet, elsa.

Shh... You'll wake
everybody up.

You don't want
to wake anybody.

Shh.
Shh!

Quiet!

Too loud.

Shh.
(laughs) shh.

Be quiet,
elsa! Quiet.

So loud. Ha.
Step up. All right.

(mumbling)
you're all right.

Oh. (exhales)

Oh.

I'm gonna say something
I never said before

In my whole life.

Good night, dad.

Do you say good night
when it's the morning?

Good night, son.

Sleep tight.

Queer...

Isn't it?

How the first cigarette
in the morning

Is the best smoke all day.

You trying to be funny?

No.

But you are trying
my patience.

Man:
All you've got right
now is that box?

Vince:
Were you there again?

With him?

Yes.

And I'm going back. For good.
I just came home to pack.

You're gonna have to kill me
to stop me.

(quiet scoff)
you think I wouldn't?

I'm your only child. The only
record of your sorry life

Once you're gone.
You're too vain to picture

A world without
a piece of you in it.

I think you mistake
my pride for vanity.

I'm an
electrician.

Strangers welcome me
into their homes

And leave me there
alone to ply my trade.

A man like me is dead

If he doesn't come
with a sterling reputation.

You are
my blood,

But if you do something
to shame me,

To shame this family,

I will do
whatever it takes

To make sure no one ever
knows you belonged to me.

Well...

...Prepare for the shaming
of your life,

Because I am in love with paul

And I'm gonna go live with him
and his kind and I'm

Gonna tell anybody
that will listen to me

Who I am and who my daddy is
and that I chose

To be one of the outcasts,
because anything

Is better than living
with the evil

That lives
in this house.

You think a father doesn't
know what his daughter's

Gonna do before she does it?

I know I can't stop you.

And I'm not a
murderer. But...

I did invite
my friend morris over

To give you a proper send-off.

Who the hell is morris?

Morris is an artist.

Dot?

Oh. (coughs)

Who do I remind you of?

Mother. She wore the same shade

Of lipstick.

I bear a striking resemblance

To eve arden.

She was nominated
for an academy award

For mildred pierce. Do
you remember that movie?

"loving her was like shaking
hands with the devil."

Dot:
Speaking of which...

Well, look at my beautiful girl.

Gladys,
you are a true artist.

Bette has been transformed
from a

Caterpillar into
a butterfly.

Careful-- I am still here.

Gladys:
This is a first for me.

I've worked on lots of gals
with double chins,

But never one with two heads.

But I don't judge--

Every client is
different. Dot...

Sure you don't want me
to give you a little touch-up?

(sighs)

I am happy being
the caterpillar.

Thank you.

Dot, look in the mirror.

We make the perfect

Before and after picture.

It can be our new act.

We'll call it
"the metamorphosis."

Elsa,

You can be the fairy godmother
who grants the wish

Of the plain jane--
that's dot--

And transforms her into
the epitome of glamour.

That's me.

Well, how kind of you to include
me in your number, huh?

Oh, you wave the wand,
that's all you do.

Well, I'll go to work on it
right away.

Let me know if there's anything
else you might want.

I'm making a list.

Oh...

Gladys, I think the hair
is too poofy on that side.

Don't push too hard now.

Elsa:
"my dear dot.

"you hardly said a word
during our negotiation,

"until you demanded
your 50%.

"what would you want
with the money,

"a bigger tent?

"a new car?

"just tell me
your heart's desire.

"you can trust me
to help you.

"we are in this together.

Elsa."

(gentle melody plays)

(singsongy):
Miss elsa?

What do you want, liebchen?

Here, darling.

Make mama another one, okay?

(kisses)

The usual.

¶ doesn't shine for us all

¶ always remember
where twilight descent ¶

Dot:
"yes. I want something.

"there's a doctor in chicago

"who separated
the brodie twins.

"his name is
dr. Oscar sugar.

"I want you to
help me find him

"and convince him to
perform the surgery.

Your secret is safe as long
as I get what I want."

¶ hold the key to your heart

¶ don't be afraid of what all

¶ that extends
danke.

¶ loneliness ends with love.

(needle buzzing)

You're too much
of a perfectionist.

Morris:
Well, I have to be.

There can be no mistakes.

You see, human skin
is a delicate canvas.

Uneven, textured,

Sometimes scarred.

(needle buzzing)
and she...

She is my masterpiece.

And she's waking up.

Where's a mirror?
Right there.

I want to see the look
on her face.

¶ penny, penny,
open your eyes ¶

¶ daddy's got a
big surprise. ¶

Penny (whining):
Daddy, it hurts.

(crying):
It hurts.

Beauty is painful, sweetheart.

(screaming)

Vince: Stick out your tongue.

(laughing)
I had it forked.

(screaming)

¶

Stanley:
So...

It's true what they say.

Stars really don't eat.

Okay, so let's get down
to business.

I have a problem.

A serious situation.

The twins are back.

Not only are they back,
but they are

Hell-bent on destroying me.

Now, little miss sour face--

That's dot...
Ah.

...She wants to locate

A doctor in chicago

Whom she believes

Can perform some
hideous operation.

What I want to do is have
you locate this doctor

And then we could send
them up to chicago.

They will be out of my life,

Off my back forever.

Do you, uh...

Oh, no, go ahead.

Please, be my guest.

(grunts)

Just mulling.

This is good brain food,
red meat.

(growls)

I don't know.

Perhaps rather than
some medical calamity,

Which they believe
is going to relieve them

Of their psychic pain,

Something more simple
and less public.

Maybe life holds too much pain

And tragedy
for those poor girls.

Wouldn't it be a better solution

If they could be quietly
and easily relieved

Of their misery?

What are you saying?

You know...

A mercy killing.
(sharp laugh)

Those poor things.

(laughs)

Oh, that's quite a solution.

Yeah.

Did you know they killed
their mother?

(grunts)
and then one of them

Tried to kill the other.

I forget which is which--
the two...

Ethel:
Dessert time.

My layered strawberry
and lime jell-o mold

With marshmallows
and fruit cocktail.

I'll put it right over here.

You guys can serve yourselves.

Can I get rid of some of this?

Um...

You're a regular betty crocker,
ethel.

You're too kind.

Enjoy.

(grunts)

Well...

Anyway.

(short laugh)

You know...

I have heard about managers

Who would kill
for their clients.

Looks like I found one. Hmm?

(laughing)

(quietly): Ma petite.

Ma petite.

For you.

Would you like me
to open it?

(gasps)

Pretty.

I can't wait to try it on.

(chuckles softly)

Zip me.

Gorgeous.

Like a little princess.

Thank you.

(bones crunching,
ma petite whimpering)

Shh...

(muffled shouting)
shh...

It's going to be all right.

(muffled screams)

(bones crunching)

(muffled screaming)

(screaming stops)

(sighs)

(quietly):
I'm sorry.

(creaking)

(creaking continues)

(yells)

Hello?

Who's there?

Show yourself.

Now!

Penny.

Oh, god.

This is my fault.

What have I done?

Oh.

(crying)

(low conversations)

(glass clinking)

Good evening,
ladies and gentlemen.

Our esteemed board members

And our renowned faculty.

Tonight, we are proud to unveil
the museum's latest acquisition.

A most rare specimen.

And while it did cost
a pretty penny,

We trust that this new exhibit

Will bring thousands
of visitors

From around the globe.

Behold.

Mahadevi patel.

(partygoers gasping)

The smallest woman
in the world.

(murmuring)