American Horror Story (2011–…): Season 3, Episode 1 - Bitchcraft - full transcript

Gentlemen,
I want you to meet my daughters,

Marie Louise Pauline,

Marie Louise Jeanne,

and from my first marriage,

Marie Delphine Lopez.

But everyone calls her Borquita.

What they may lack
in outer beauty,

they more than make up for
with their many talents.

Borquita is a huge help to me
with the domestics.

While Jeanne excels
in petit point.

My youngest, Pauline,



well, her major talent
has yet to reveal itself.

Perhaps my talent
is in the boudoir,

Mother dear.

I guess we'll find out on your
wedding night, mon petit.

(chuckles)

(insects chirring)

(animals chittering)

MAN:
Mon cherie.

When the blood dries,

my skin is supposed to
be tight as a drum.

Just look at this wattle.

(sniffs)
This blood's not fresh.

Borquita!

S'ak pase'w la?



Mon cherie, something happened
during the dinner party.

Stupid slut!

I invite all
the eligible bachelors

just to meet you and you...

(slapping)
spread your filthy legs for the houseman!

You might as well rut
with the family dog!

You can't control me, Mother.

The hell I can't!

The hell I can't.

You know what we're going
to say?

We're going to say
he took you by force.

Like the savage he is.

No, ma'am, I did no such thing.

Yes, that's what happened.
Miss Pauline came on to me.

And I told her
I belong to someone else.

Keep that mongrel quiet.

(man cries out)

Haul him upstairs.

MAN:
No. No. No.

(hinges creaking, door thuds)

Bonsoir, my pets.

Did y'all miss me?

(muffled shouts)

Hush up.

Or I'll rip your lips open
and stuff more shit in there.

(chains rattling)
Why?

Why are you doing this to us?

Because I can?

Oh...

Now we gonna have
flies up here.

(chains rattling)

There.

That should do it.

Bastien.

(people coughing, groaning)

You want to rut like a beast...

then we're going to treat you
like one.

(sobbing)

Where's my pickaninny
with the head?

(Bastien whimpering frantically)

Put it on him.

(frantic whimpering continues)

(frantic whimpering continues)

Darling, you have
outdone yourself.

However did you think this up?

My great literacy began
with Greek mythology.

I used to sit on Daddy's lap

and he would read me
those stories

full of their vengeful Gods

and wondrous miraculous
creatures.

But the Minotaur was always
my favorite.

Half-man, half-bull.

And now...

I have one of my very own.

(low, guttural laugh)

(frantic whimpering continues)

(insect chirring)

(keys jingling)

Are you sure about this?

Come on.

My mom gets home at 6:00.

It just sucks being
somebody's first.

I don't want to hurt you.

I'll be okay.

You okay?

Charlie?

Charlie?

Charlie, Charlie, what's wrong?

(grunting)
Charlie!

Charlie?!

GIRL: It's a cliche, but like
all cliches, it's the truth.

Your life can change overnight.

Or in a moment.

(sighs)

The official word on Charlie's
death was a brain aneurysm.

But the doctors had never seen
anything quite like it before.

The blood...

all that blood.

It's not your fault, baby.

It's ours.

There's something I should have
told you a long time ago.

I prayed it would skip
your generation.

Your great-grandmother had
the same genetic affliction.

GIRL:
So apparently I'm a witch.

It runs in my family,
but it doesn't show up

in every generation,
or in every girl.

Like my cousin Amanda,
she's just bulimic.

We read about the Salem Witch
Trials in, like, fifth grade.

Guess I should have paid
more attention.

Hang her!
Drown her! Burn her!

CHIEF MAGISTRATE:
Mercy Osbourne,

you have been sentenced
to death.

May God have mercy
on your wretched soul.

GIRL: Those girls weren't
even witches.

The real witches were cunning
and careful not to be caught.

(angry shouting)

In fact after that, they got
the hell out of Dodge.

(angry shouting)
They fled.

As far South as they could.

(angry shouting)

That's how eventually New
Orleans became the new Salem.

WOMAN:
There's a school there.

A boarding school
for girls like you.

You'll be safe.

You're sending me away?

WOMAN:
I'm sorry, baby.

We can't keep you here anymore.

It's too dangerous.

What's going on?

Mom, what's going on?
What is this?

Mom! Mom...
No, what is this?!

Mom...

(sobbing):
Mom!

We'll handle it from here.

Can't I drive her
to the station?

She's our daughter now, Nora.

You've done all you can.

A long good-bye would
only make things worse.

By the way, these drapes.

I'm just mad for tartan.

(birds singing)

(doorbell chimes)

(metallic click,
hinges creaking)

(hinges creaking)

Hello?

(hinges creaking)

Hello?

Hello?

(flames crackling)

(screams)

(running footsteps)

(girl gasping)

(screams)

O dark father,
we offer this flesh up to you,

blood, life, and all.

Get the hell off me!

(panting)
Jesus,

Sabrina, relax.

We're just messing with you.

Holy shit. Are you...

Madison Montgomery, movie star.

Shit. When's the last time
you made a movie, girl?

I'm Nan. Hi.

Zoe.

Queenie.

So bored now.

So, is this all of you?

At the moment.

Cordelia Foxx, headmistress.

All right, girls,
there's a van full

of groceries in the driveway
that needs unloading.

I'll show Zoe to her room.

Then we meet
for Midday Gathering.

Let's go.

CORDELIA: Miss Robichaux's Academy
for Exceptional Young Ladies

was established as a premiere
girls' finishing school

in 1790.

During the Civil War,
it was converted

into a military hospital.

Afterwards, it came under

new management. Our management.

In 1868, Marianne Wharton,

a prominent
East Coast society matron,

early suffragette,

author of several popular
children's books--

and, as it happened,

the reigning Supreme
of that time--

purchased this facility,
retaining the name as a cover,

establishing a safe haven

where young witches
could gather to learn.

In its heyday,

the academy was home
to as many as 60 girls.

Over the years,
those numbers dwindled.

ZOE:
Why?

We're a dying breed, Zoe.

Many of the families who knew
they carried the bloodline

made a choice not to reproduce.

So, what's a Supreme?

An average witch is born
with a few natural gifts.

But in each generation
there is one woman

who embodies countless gifts.
Some say...

all of them.

She is the Supreme.

Are you the Supreme?

No.

I'm like you.

Just a witch.

And a teacher. I'm here to help
you identify your gifts

and teach you how
to control them.

She means to suppress them.

Not suppression.

Control.

She thinks it's still
the 1600s.

No. Back then,

our kind understood the dangers.

Today, so many families know
nothing of their ancestry.

Too many girls aren't
lucky enough to have found us

or weren't identified in time
for us to have found them.

Like that poor Cajun girl

just outside Lafayette
a few months back.

Misty Day.

She wasn't much older
than any of you.

And she had a gift,

the power of resurgence.

Misty could reach

into that place
between life and death

and draw a soul back
from the precipice,

back to this side,
back to life.

It's dark magic!

To some, this appeared to be

the God-touched power
of resurrection.

To cast you in

to darkness and sin!

To others, necromancy.

To cast you
into separation from God!

So what happened to her?

The same thing that's happened

to women like us
throughout the centuries.

(pants)
Let me go!

Let me go!
(sobs)

(panting, coughing)

(whimpering)

(match struck)

(panting)

It's you that will end
in flames.

I swear it!

(crying)

(wailing)

We are under siege, ladies.

Our lives,

our very existence

is always at risk.

Know this or face extinction.

This is Allegra.

She is the equivalent of
a human female in her late 80s.

Allegra suffers
from acute bradycardia,

her kidneys are failing,

she's lost the ability
to swallow.

Allegra, in short, is dying.

Now, several hours
after this video was taken,

we injected Allegra
with our Serum RM47.

We expanded on the University
of Wisconsin studies

on induced pluripotent
stem cells.

Meet Allegra today.

I'll have what she's having.

(chuckles)
And you will.

Sooner than you'd think.

We should be ready for
human trials in two years' time.

This afternoon.

(chuckles)
Preferably

in the next half hour.

I have a dinner engagement.

I'm sorry, but, uh...

well, that's impossible.

I hear you like to get...

sauced
at biochemistry conventions

and brag about how you're gonna
win the Nobel Prize

for the work you're doing here,

research that has been
entirely funded

by my late husband's money.

I have made you rich,

soon to be famous.

I want that medicine.

I paid for it, and I want it.

Now.

You can't smoke in here.

(exhales)

Fiona...

you are a very beautiful woman.

But if you're just looking

for something cosmetic,

I can recommend
a plastic surgeon.

What I need...

is an infusion of vitality.

Of youth.

I want that drug, David,

and I want it now.

Even if I wanted to give it
to you, I couldn't.

What we do here is not magic.

I'm sorry.

(Iron Butterfly's
"In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida" playing)

(sniffing)

REPORTER: Last night,
communities across the county

held candlelight vigils praying
for Misty's safe return.

However, sources close
to the family have declined

to comment on the fact
that authorities now believe

they have found the last known
location of the missing girl.

It is rumored that Misty Day

may have been burned
at the stake,

though no official statement

was released.
(knocking)

You made me leave my daughters'

violin recital early.
You've been

injecting me with your
shit for five days now

and nothing...

nothing has changed.

How do I know you're not
just shooting me up with some

sugar water?
I have risked my career

giving you these drugs.

They could kill you.
I could go to jail.

Double the dosage.

Pull our funding.

Give me more!

We are organic matter.

We are animals. We rot,

we die!

I will tender my resignation
in the morning.

No!

What is this?

How are you doing this?

(grunts)

Get away from...
get away from me!

(grunts)

(groaning)

(panting)

No.

Please.

My children.

Don't be such a baby.

(moaning)

(grunting)

(lighter clatters)

Hey, Jeeves. Can I get
some iceberg lettuce

with a side of blue cheese?

Girl, be nice to Spalding.

Poor bastard ain't got no tongue.
Is that true, Jeeves?

Did you use your tongue
for something wicked?

Or maybe you just suck
at going down.

Oh, come on, Jeeves.

Show us your stub!

Maybe we can put it to use!

So, new girl...

...what are you in for?

Her boyfriend.

Nan, shut up before you get

your ass in trouble.

Did you kill him?

No. It was an accident.

It was an accident, Zoe.

And you will find love again.

A strange and unexpected...

love.
Girl,

are you deaf or just stupid?

MADISON: Tell us
about this accident.

And don't spare
all the gory details.

So, why are you here?

My agent staged an intervention.

Ever since my drunk and
disorderly, I get blamed

for all kinds of shit
that I didn't do.

But you did it.
You killed the man.

I get it, bitch,
you're clairvoyant.

Do you want to know
what happened?

Hi, boys. So glad
you all could come.

Gee, is it hot in here?
Cut, cut.

You're still not hitting your mark.
I'm using the space.

That's a light.
If you don't hit your mark,

that light can't hit you.

The light hit him just fine.

All he said was
"hit your mark."

Why don't you just
do the world a favor

and take an acting class,
you D-list,

Botox bimbo.

Ow!

Stop it, you bitch!

Stop what? I don't feel nothing.

I'm a human voodoo doll.
(screams)

You like this?
Stop!

You're... you're gonna get
in trouble.

Queenie, stop!

I'll do it.

Come on.
Let's take a walk.

A walk?

Fine. I'm not hungry
anyway.

(exhales)

Like anyone believes that.

Well,

that was disturbing.

Given the choices around here,
it looks

like you're my new best friend.

(phone vibrates)

Do you own any clothes that
don't come from the Gap?

Not really.

Why?

(sighs)

You can borrow something
of mine.

Frat party tonight.

Just got the tweet.

♪

(gasps)
Ooh!

You dropped your cocktail.

(chuckles)

I thought you were
in Switzerland.

L.A.

It's tragic. The
glamour's gone.

They put a shopping mall
on Sunset and Vine.

I don't have a broom.
(chuckles)

That's ironic.

Los Angeles?

Why do you look so jet-lagged?

I happen to look wonderful.

Let me make you something.

It's a restorative

I've been experimenting with.

This will fix you right up.

Delia, with her
potions and powders.

You know, one of my greatest
disappointments in life

is that you never
fully realized

the extent of your power.

I've done pretty well.

You are the only child
of the Supreme.

You have royal blood running in
your veins.

You could be ruling the world.

I like my little kingdom here,
thank you.

Yeah, well, your little kingdom
is a mess.

(sizzling)

(groans)

CORDELIA:
No! Oh...

You bitch.

It wouldn't have killed you.

Just put me in a coma
for a couple days?

Or weeks. Look, why don't
you just go away?

I don't want you here. How else
do you want me to say it?

You're still angry. I can tell.

My God, you are the Supreme.

I was just on this...
wonderful spiritual retreat

with Shirley
MacLaine in Sedona.

It was all about forgiveness.
You dumped me here.

You were sent
to an elite boarding school.

Boo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo.

You know, I've often thought
that my big mistake with you

was waiting so long
before sending you away.

Enough.

Show yourself out.

No. I'm not going.

I'm staying.
I'm here to help you.

Do you know that not
50 miles from here

a young woman was
burned at the stake?

It's Salem all over again.

There is a storm coming.

And you are leaving
these poor girls

under your charge
completely unprepared for it.

I am aware of what's happening.

My entire teaching philosophy...

Has been an abject failure.

You teach them to cower.

And to hide in the shadows.

Well, there are no
shadows, not anymore.

Do you really think
with Twitter and Facebook

that a witch does
anything at all

she won't be videotaped
and turned into some...

viral freak show like a dog
who says "I love you"?

No, no, no.

This is my life.

You can't come in here
and piss all over it.

I will call the council.
Do.

Call the council.
(chuckles)

And then you can explain to them

why you think it's a bad idea
for the Supreme to teach them.

When are you gonna die

and stop ruining my life?

(sighs)

I'm here.

I'm staying.

So why don't
we make the best of it?

YOUNG MAN: Okay, animals, all
right, let's listen up, okay?

All right, we're gonna go over
a few ground rules, gents.

The no puke rule will be
strictly enforced.

I will not be drinking...
too much tonight,

so if I see any of you are
in danger of hurling in public,

I will send you back here
to the penalty box.

(groaning)
That also goes...

for public urination
and public exposure.

Believe me, Dalton, nobody's
interested in seeing your dick,

no matter how small it is!
(laughter)

Now, we're still on probation
for the slightly

misguided Blue Mooning episode,

and those pricks at the
administration are just looking

for a reason
to cut our balls off, guys.

So I will sacrifice one night
of a drunken stupor

so my brothers can live to party
another day!

(cheering)

The administration

can suck my cock!

(cheering)
Yeah!

One, two, one, two, three!

ALL:
We are KLG!

One, two, one, two, three!

ALL:
We are KLG!

(dance music playing)

Oh, my God,
that's Madison Montgomery.

Now, that's what
I'm talking about.

That's prize tuna right there.

She's way out of your league.

What's a girl got to do

to get a drink around here?

Come with me.
Can't get a bite

if you don't dangle
your bait in the water.

(indistinct crowd chatter)

(hissing)

(laughter and chatter)

(hissing)

(dance music playing)

Thought you looked thirsty.

Is that your superpower?

You can sense dehydration?

One of them.

Ah.

Frat boy, right?

I think frats are
full of fascists.

I don't mind being reduced

to a stereotype, but...

I'm on a scholarship.

My mom lives down in

the Ninth Ward. Besides,

didn't you come here with

a movie star?

(sighs)

(sighs)

You want to be my slave tonight?

What's in it for me?

Are you stupid?

Slaves get nothing.

Now why don't you get me
another drink?

(Madison sighs)

It's on.

(indistinct crowd chatter)

(groans)

(sighs)

(sighs)

Really? A finishing school?

Miss Robichaux's Academy
for Exceptional Young Ladies.

Wow.

I don't want to talk
about me anymore, okay?

You're the first hot girl
I ever met

who didn't want
to talk about herself.

There's got to be something
wrong with you.

I know. You have a boyfriend.

No, I don't.

Kyle, I like you.

But it's not gonna work out.

Have you seen Madison?

(panting and moaning)

(moaning continues)

(mattress creaking,
panting and moaning)

(distorted moans and panting)

(Madison groans, male grunting)

(soft groan)

(mattress creaking,
male grunting)

(loud male grunting)

(Madison groans)

(loud male grunting)

Hey, I can't find her anywhere.

What, you think she ditched you?

(scoffs)

I'll look around upstairs.
Hang on.

Brush her hair back
so I can see her face.

(groaning)

What the hell are you doing?!

(grunting)

Get off her!
Wait your turn, man.

Are you out of your mind?!

(grunting)

(groans softly)

(sighs)

Madison?

(quietly mumbles)
Shit!

Hey.

Madison, hey. Hey,

did they give you something?

(moans)

(crowd chatter and screaming)

Whoa, whoa.

It hurts.

Okay, look, stay here, okay?
I'm not gonna...

I'm not gonna
let 'em get away with this.

(groaning)

Give me the phone, Brener.
Eat shit, Kyle.

Give me the phone, Brener. That's evidence.
Eat shit, Kyle.

I'm calling the cops.

(grunting)
MAN: Hey, hey.

What's going on back there?
Get him off the bus.

Come on, man.
Stop. Stop.

BRENER:
All right, everybody shut up!

(man groans)
All right, everybody shut up!

First thing, delete the
videos from your phones.

We stick together.

Stop!

(panting)

(crying)

(panting)

(groans)

(screaming)

(glass breaking)

(explosion)

(screaming continues)

(screaming,
indistinct shouting)

The Louisiana campus
is still in shock over

the tragic bus crash last night.

Nine members of the fraternity

Kappa Lambda Gamma
were on board.

Seven of the boys died
on the scene.

Two were rushed to Troost
Medical Center where they remain

in critical condition.
Officials

will not confirm the identities
of the deceased.

Hey, I was watching that!

Why? It's yesterday's news.

They got any Greek yogurt?

(quietly): We have to tell
somebody what happened.

The one I met-- Kyle--
Madison, he tried to stop it.

Shh.
Okay, and he was on that bus.

FIONA:
What are we talking

about? The college boys?

Taken in the prime
of their lives.

Such a tragedy.

Almost makes you want to cry,
doesn't it?

But, then, the world's not
gonna miss a bunch of assholes

in Ed Hardy T-shirts.
Who are you?

You know, I've got
to hand it to you.

A bus flip? That's not easy.

But you were a sloppy,
little witch bitch.

Go to hell, you stupid hag.

Say that.

Now, I've read all your files.

And you're never gonna become
great women of our clan

sitting around here at Hogwarts

under the confused instruction
of my daughter.

We're going on a field trip.

Jesus. Go change your clothes.

Wear something...

...black.

MADISON:
Where are we going?

It's too hot.

My freaking vagina is sweating.

To Popp Fountain.

A kind of holy place
for our order.

Back in the 1970s,

Mary Oneida Toups led
an alternative coven down here.

She and her sister witches
would gather there,

proudly and publicly,

very much in the spirit
of the times.

But it was damaged
during Katrina.

And the authorities used
this as an excuse to declare

this sacred space
a safety hazard.

It's been closed off ever since.
ZOE: I don't

understand. What are we supposed
to do if we can't get in?

Tear the wall down.

When witches don't fight,
we burn.

MADISON: This is seriously
the worst field trip ever.

Each one of you
has a unique gift, but

that's not nearly enough
to be a real witch.

And you're a real witch?

She's the Supreme.

(laughing)

You know that one--

she's smarter than all
of you put together.

VOICE (whispering):
Help me.

Help me.
WOMAN: The New Orleans Preservation

Foundation is proud to present
the haunted home tour

of the notorious
Madame LaLaurie.

This very house,

the center of New
Orleans high society,

was also a place of

abject horror.
You want me to get her?

FIONA:
No.

Oh, excuse me. You can't just
barge in on the tour

without purchasing a ticket.

You're giving us
a tour for free.

For free. Of course.

The Code Noir,

a decree that dictated
the conditions of slavery,

did not exist on these grounds.

It was replaced by
the Madame's own code of terror.

And the torture she inflicted
on her slaves would spawn

179 years of hauntings.

Wasn't this house owned
by the guy in Face Off?

WOMAN: Correct, the actor Nicolas
Cage was a previous owner.

Madame LaLaurie was
infamous for her vanity.

She fought the rigors
of age with a sacrament

of expensive creams from Europe

and something else
far more exotic.

Oh, I'm running out.
We gonna have to get some more.

No! Please

don't make me.
You think I want

to do this?!

You can blame your father
and his fresh-faced whore.

Unless you'd like to
split your inheritance

with an endless parade
of colored bastards.

(coughing)

(chains clanging)

(screaming)

(screaming continues)

(speaks softly)

(yelling)

WOMAN: The secret ingredient
to the Madame's beauty ritual

was a poultice made
from human pancreas.

This is the infamous chamber
of horrors.

No flash photography, please.

The attic where Madame LaLaurie
inflicted heinous torture

upon her slaves.

And where she ultimately met

her own demise.

(speaking Creole)

Get off my property!

I've heard that you are
in need of my services.

What could a Negress have
that I would ever want?

Mo pélé Marie Laveau.

I have the cure
for your husband's affliction.

His compulsion for young ladies.

I'll have you flogged
for your insolence!

A love potion

to ensure fidelity.

If the potion entrances as you
promise, your future's assured.

To our future together.

Salud.

Mmm.

It's like honeysuckle.

Oh.

Ooh.

Oh.

Ooh, yes.

(clears throat)

Oh, no.

Oh, God!

What did...?

(mumbles)

(groaning)

(coughing) Get it...

Get it out of me.

WOMAN: Unbeknownst to Madame
LaLaurie, a slave she had brutally

mutilated was
Marie Laveau's lover,

and she came
to exact her revenge.

(floorboards creaking)

(men coughing)

(wooden creaking)

Mo Cher,
what has she done to you?

(crying)

The potion inflicted
its cruel justice, and she got

what she richly deserved.

But her body was never found.

To this day, no one knows
the final resting place

of Madame LaLaurie.

What do you hear?

The lady of the house.

(elevator bell dings)

(elevator bell dings)

(rhythmic beeping,
indistinct chatter)

(whooshing and beeping)

(beeping continues)

(indistinct chatter)

(rhythmic beeping)

(indistinct chatter)

Please. Please let it be him,
please.

(Zoe sighs)

(rhythmic beeping)

It should have been you,
asshole!

(sighs)

It's the second door

on your left down the hall.

Make sure you stack
'em vertically.

I'm responsible for those girls.

What if something had happened?

Well, nothing did.
Where's Zoe Benson?

How would I know that?

(horn honking)

Oh, that's my taxi.

Here, darling.

Make sure you tip them
generously when they're done.

Where are you going?

Out. Don't wait up.

I have half a mind to enchant
the locks after you leave.

(laughs)
Don't make me drop a house on you.

(door creaks and shuts)

ZOE:
When the levees broke,

the people
of New Orleans were tested.

Those who stayed,
stayed for a reason.

With that came a sense
of purpose and community.

That's what happens
in a crisis.

All the bullshit falls away,
and what's left is just

so raw and vulnerable.
(crying)

It's agony to let
people see you so exposed.

It takes a huge amount
of trust,

and for most of us, that trust
was shattered long ago.

But, like it or not,
we need each other.

And we need each other
desperately.

(beeping)
My mother was right.

The world isn't safe
for a girl like me.

But maybe I'm not safe
for the world, either.

And since I'll never be able

to experience real love,
might as well

put this curse to some use.

(beeping)

(rapid beeping)

(long, droning beep)

Excellent work, gentlemen.

Just set it down right here.

Well, I'd thank you,

but you're never gonna
remember any of this anyhow.

(insects trilling and chirping)

(muffled groaning)

(yells)

(chains clinking)

(sighs)

(heavy sigh)

(chains clinking)

Come on, Mary Todd Lincoln.

I'll buy you a drink.