American Gods (2017–…): Season 3, Episode 6 - Conscience of the King - full transcript

I just need
to get to Cairo.

-Get in.
-Never did catch your name.

Sam Black Crow.

Where the fuck is Wednesday?

You blew up a bar
in order to get yourself

committed to
a mental institution.

And your little plan
to free Demeter...

She was my wife.

You won't last a week.

I last a week,

you give me one night.



I'll take that bet.

Is Sweeney alive?

I don't know where
the Jinn is or why he left.

Why don't you come with me and
help me track down Wednesday?

-And do what?
-Kill him.

What's the latest on the case?

Three more break-ins
since Alison went missing,

some sicko is stealing
ladies' unmentionables...

Wait, wait, wait!
Wait, wait!

The hell's
wrong with you?

Bilquis fucked me up.

Hey, stranger.

The story of America
is one of destiny.

Freed from the tyranny
of a cruel king,



a powerful new republic
was born.

Divine guidance
was required to show

these now
United States of America

the just and righteous
application

of its newly acquired power.

So who better
to shepherd a country

baptized in blood
than a war god? Tyr.

Make that two war gods,

one a more natural leader
than the other.

Both gods knew full well,
where there's war,

there's money.

Odin, the more ambitious
of the two,

sought power and influence.

Trust me, my dear friend.

This is just the first of many wars to come.

The greatest army
ever to march into battle

has just been skunked
by a bunch of farmers,

tradesmen, and women.

The world would
do well to take heed.

A nation in love
with war and money.

You are indeed home,
my brother.

For my part, I'm elated
Cornwallis finally surrendered.

I have some
personal business
to attend to.

Oh? A woman?

A goddess.

Before you ask,
the answer is yes.

I will help you woo her.

But... after centuries
of warring and wooing,

for, after all, Odin had bedded many a goddess in his day...

Ah...

- -Nothing could have prepared him for the moment...

when he first saw her.

Dearest Gladys.

Demeter.
-Dear sir.

She of the Grain.

Giver of Life.

Goddess of Nourishment.

Do come in.

Mr. Wednesday?

Hank.

Oh.

You missed your dinner.

-Are you off your food?
-Ha.

Okay, there's a, uh,
evening snack downstairs
in the common room.

I'm there.

Hey, do me a favor?

Take all this
up to my room, huh?

Okay.
What is all this?

My masterpiece.

To dine with the Goddess
of the Grain is to feast
upon divinity itself.

-May I?
-Oh, yes.

-You may sit, Ofnir.
-Elsa...

I've just been looking
at your watercolors
in the art room.

Exquisite technique.

They remind me of a young
Georgia O'Keeffe,

except your pictures,

they look more like flowers.

What are you really
doing here?

-You're not even sick.
-Oh!

Oh, now, it's not for us

to judge the affliction
of others.

Some maladies are...

apparent on the surface,
but others... Oh!

They hide like...

black rot deep
in the soul.

-Tea?
-Oh, please. No sugar.

Oh, I'm sure this place does
wonders for some people.

It's just that I do
worry what happens

to vibrant souls
locked away

from life's pleasures.

Oh, I think you're
about to find out.

Hank.

-Mr. Wednesday.
-Hmm.

Need to talk to you.

Oh.

Oh.

-What?

Carry on without me,
ladies, huh?

You needn't worry about me.

I have everything
under control.

Mr. Wednesday,
I have to believe

that this is contributing
to your psychotic break.

Well, the old girl's
still on her game, huh?

Technically, I'm supposed
to cavity search you now.

Hank, nothing in
my keister but the usual.

I'm not a pill guy, huh?

Liftoff for me is
a flagon or two of mead.

No, this is part of
the time-honored tradition

of Le Jeu D'Amour, hmm?

-Good evening.

Mr. Wednesday? I just wanted
to let you know that... Oh!

-Hey, Liz.
-Hank, I'm sorry.

-I didn't realize--
-No. It's all right. No.

-Hey.
-Hi.

Uh, so, five-minute warning
for the pottery class.

Oh. Uh, Elizabeth
teaches pottery.

-Oh.
-Here.

Yes, sir.

Uh, I studied ceramics
at Bennington.

Oh, you did?
I didn't know that.

-Oh...

Anyway, so, yeah.

Uh, five, yeah.
Minutes.

Okay.

-Uh, as I was saying,
controlled substances

-are strictly prohibited...
-Lucky for you,

Cupid appears
to have flown in circles

because you two
have been struck dumb.

What are you
talking about?

Two passionately like-minded

mental health professionals

find each other
in this looney bin? Ha!

What are the chances, huh?

Hold up.
Are you saying...

You think she's into me?

Well, anybody who would endure
that mindless jibber-jabber,

repay you in kind,
smiling throughout,

is either smitten
or an imbecile.

I guarantee that flower of
womanhood is not an imbecile.

No, hell... hell, no.

You heard her.
She went to Bennington.

No, definitely
out of my league.

I barely squeaked through
community college.

No. No. No.

Hank.

Allow me to be your Cyrano.

Your spirit guide
out of Lonelytown.

Okay, Mr. Wednesday,
if you're such a Don Juan,

why did Miss Wells
slap you in the face

the moment she saw you?

Oh, a visceral reaction
can be an outpouring

of unbridled devotion
as well as animus.

I guess.

Hank, the art of love
is to be passed on

to worthy lovers
and those worthy of love.

Are you worthy, Hank?

I think so?

I think so too.

I don't need drugs.

I am drugs.

I mean, it's a lot.

You know, to get my head around.

Yeah, no shit.

You haven't even died once.

But the good news is,
no more flies.

When I look in the mirror now,

I no longer see a member
of the sturgeon family

looking back at me, so...

It's a definite upgrade.

But the agenda's
still the same.

I'm not asking you to help me.

I just wanna know
where he is.

So you can kill him.

It kinda qualifies for aiding and abetting.

Well, it's not like
he doesn't deserve it.

And I'm not saying
he's a saint...

Right. Because
that would be insane.

But you get a second
second chance

coming back from
the great... whatever,

and number one
on your to-do list
is killing Wednesday?

Can you not just think about moving on?

Are you saying I should just
roll over and accept the fact

that Wednesday
is responsible for...

every shitty everything ever
and he just gets to walk away?

But how does killing
Wednesday change any of that?

Well, for starters,

it prevents him
from doing any more damage.

I can't tell you where he is.

Jesus Christ, Shadow,

what has he ever done
to earn your loyalty?

Just tell me one thing.

I...

He's my father.

Oh... 'kay.

Wow, uh...

you know, not a lot
surprises me anymore.

But I gotta tell you,
that one's a fuckin' doozy.

It complicates things.

Yeah.

No.

I mean, not for me.

I'm sorry.
He's gotta go.

And it has to happen
sooner rather than later.

So, I guess...

Wish me luck?

I can't do that.

Yeah, well, you just try
and be happy here

in weird little
Lakeville, okay?

-I'm workin' on it.
-Maybe work harder.

That place looks like
a hidey-hole for an ex-con
in witness protection.

Oh, come on.

-Mike! You're back.
-Yeah.

Yeah, I, I am...

Uh, Marguerite,
this is Laura, my late wife.

-Ex. Ex-wife.
-Ex-wife.

-Hi.
-Hi.

-It's Marguerite. She's my...
-Neighbor?

Sorry, Mike never mentioned

he'd been married.

Ouch.

It was a long time ago,
you know. Very brief.

What brings you to Lakeside?

Just some unfinished
family business.

We're all good now.

-Not even close.
-Okay.

He's a really good guy.

He's got a good heart.

Gets kinda tongue-tied
when he's, like,

in love or whatever.

Okay.

-Thanks for stopping by.
-Bye, Mike.

Uh, can you remember to pass
on that message to your dad?

Bye.

She seems nice.

Ayahuasca,

psilocybin,

peyote.

Even jimsonweed, yeah.

I can understand them,
but prescription drugs?

How pedestrian.

Contraband is a serious
offense in here.

Oh, yes.

And all it took for Hank
to drop the matter was...

to proffer a little advice
to the lovelorn,

and a daily urine sample.

He is a man of
abundant good will.

Oh, that he is.

Now, according to my calendar,

tomorrow I will have
survived one week in here.

And you will owe me
one night.

So, 7:00 PM?

Black tie
and straitjacket?

Oh, uh...

Hmm?

-Hank!

Tsk, tsk, tsk.

-Will you stop it?!

Oh! What now?

I was gardening
peacefully in here

and this wild man
came, and look!

Okay.

I mean, it's not safe having

a madman like him
on the loose.

All due to my clumsiness, Hank.

I came in here
to find a bouquet

for your lovely Elizabeth,

and I brushed against one pot,
which brushed against--

Look, I don't need
a play-by-play.

Let's just get
this mess cleaned up.

As good as done.

Excuse me, huh?

One of you get a dust pan
and broom, huh?

Welcome, Technical Boy.

I've, uh...

I've been having
these sensations. Yeah.

Things I can't
properly process.

Can you describe
these sensations?

It's like a...
pounding in my chest

or a rush of heat
to my face.

I... I don't know!

I don't fucking know!

How would you describe the emotions

that accompany these sensations?

Emotions? No!

No, the sensations happen
when I am attacked!

Look, I have...

I've had these before,
but-but now, they're...

They're too much.

Have the emotions--

Stop saying "emotions"!

Why do you keep saying
"emotion"?

Emotions are
an intuitive feeling

as distinguished
from reasoning or knowledge.

I know what the fuck they are.

I just don't have them.

How do these emotions help inform who--

Oh, fuck! Fuck!

What the fuck...

is wrong with me? I...

I just need to know
what's happening.

For complete analysis
and data restoration,

insert Artifact 1.

Artifact 1?

What the fuck is Artifact 1?

Real people making
real connections.

It's what we're all looking for.

Right, Salim?

Don't be down because
you lost your Jinn.

Just pick up the phone.

Call 1-800...
...595-FAPP.

You feel what I'm saying, Salim?

We need a new plan.

Shadow was no fucking
help whatsoever.

Uh... the TV...

it was talking to me.

-The TV?
-Yes. It said my name.

They were talking
to me about the Jinn.

Salim, you need
to get over this dude.

It's time.
It really is.

We need to figure out
what the fuck

we're gonna do now,
because Shadow was
our only lead.

Um, uh,
we could go to Ohio.

I, um, printed this out

at the business center.

I've been researching
All-Father's whereabouts.

He's been invited
to appear at a vigil

at a meeting hall outside of Cleveland.

Why am I not surprised
that the Buckeye State

has a freaky Norse underbelly?

Even if we do find Wednesday,
you still don't have the spear.

Yeah, but we can track him
while we figure out a plan.

Yes. Yes...
It will give me time

to press him for information

as to the Jinn's whereabouts.

Or, maybe,
just over the horizon,

there is a new and exciting
adventure waiting for you.

You just need
to keep an open mind.

Okay? Just try and
find a way to move on.

Susan and I are simply not
willing to accept

that our little girl
is out there all alone,

under the snow somewhere.

That's not how
this ends for Alison.

We have faith that
God has another plan.

Thank you.

Now, I-I understand that
this is a difficult time
for everyone.

I just hope that we can
remain patient and strong--

A little girl's missing, Chad.

Since December.

Well, no one's more aware
of that than I.

They say after 48 hours,

if they haven't been found,
they're usually dead.

-Bill!

-It's true.
-Why would you say that?

Everybody, please
just settle down.

Calm down. Please.

Are there any clues in the case so far?

And, if so, can you share them?

We don't have any clues
beyond the facts at hand.

She is missing,
and the search is ongoing.

I drove by your house
at 10:43 PM

and your cruiser
was in the driveway!

You're at home sleeping

while the McGoverns' daughter
is out there somewhere

with a sexually insane
maniac on the loose!

First Alison.
Who's next?

Okay, now. Let's not
jump to conclusions.

What we don't know...

Everyone, please calm down.
Settle down.

Everybody get a grip!

Now, this is how
it's gonna go.

Ann-Marie, please...

Anyone who has heard or seen
anything that is an actual,

verifiable clue
is gonna line up over here.

Anyone who hasn't,
stay where you are.

Folks, this town is built
on a set of ideals

that keeps us all walking
safely down the same path!

We are not anarchists here!

We are Lakesiders.

-And we must...
-You all right?

...keep faith
with each other. And...

Did you know that this town
has 97% fewer crimes

than any other
municipality in the state?

And that they haven't had
a serious crime here since '81?

They got a right
to be angry.

It's my job
to keep 'em safe.

I mean, the dude's
completely ghosted.

We created a
nonparametric algorithm

to unmask
a VPN tunnel and...

the Technical Boy's
off the fucking grid.

SHARD is about building
a church of the mind

for 8 billion worshippers.

Exactly.

It's not like
launching a website.

An information highway into 8 billion minds.

Allowing us to see thoughts.

Could you warn me
before you do that?

I asked you to find
the Technical Boy.

Now where the fuck is he?

Maybe the guy doesn't
want to be found.

He's had his day;
let's turn the page.

I built you for a purpose.

A purpose maybe
you've outlived.

Hey, y'all.

What's good?

-So, we have Thomas on piano.
-Yeah.

-Elsa on lights.
-Okay.

And you, Hank, on thunder.

We gotta get this right

in order to achieve
the desired effect.

Okay.

This just seems
like a lot of work.

Wooing is work, Hank.

It is the expression
of emotions so deep,

they shift gravity's pull,
summoning her heart to yours.

Hmm. Look,
don't get me wrong.

Some of this stuff
is pretty good.

Especially
for a puppet show.

It's not a puppet show.
It's a shadow play.

One of the earliest
forms of narrative art.

Forgive me.

Shadow play.

Why do I get the sense
it's somewhat autobiographical?

Oh, is it that obvious?

So, I get that the brave
warrior, Tyr, is you,

and Miss Wells
is the goddess Demeter.

But who's this Odin?

He's like
a colossal asshole.

Everybody's a critic.

Fuck!

Shit!

Ah-ha! Ha! Oh, yeah!

Laugh it up, Chuckles.

Fuckin' shotgun lady
thinks it's funny

to sneak up on people?

Your volume's at nosebleed level

and your door is wide open,

and it's a million
degrees in here.

Where'd you get this stuff?

Oh, you would be surprised, young lady.

The tape, I found
in the library.

Yeah, mixed in
with the whole

complete works of
Alvin and the Chipmunks.

-And the jam-box?
-Oh, that was just Hinzelmann's.

Yeah, I thought I was onto
a helluva deal

and then I realized
it was a loss leader

for the 400 batteries
that thing takes.

Speaking of,
you didn't happen

to ask her permission
to paint the walls, did you?

You know she owns the place.

Along with, like,
six other buildings

including the newspaper office.

Wow, she really has her finger
in a lot of things around here.

Yeah, and in Hinzelmann's world,

there are three approved colors.

Pretty sure that Millennial
Pink isn't one of them.

It's Salmon Mist.

You seem to be investing
a lot of sweat equity

for someone who isn't
sticking around very long.

You know, my plans are
still up in the air.

You know, I'm definitely sticking around longer than I expected.

So I thought, you know,
why not spruce up the place?

In fact, why don't you
do me the honor

and be my first dinner guest tonight?

Fortunately,
I already have plans.

But maybe you could
come to my place.

I mean, I can't offer the high
these paint fumes will give.

But my pot roast is legendary
and you can meet my sister.

Yeah, that'd be
really nice. Thank you.

You know, DJ Mike
will be in the house.

Yeah, no.
Leave the boom box here.

Later.

War could break out at any
moment with the Old Gods.

SHARD is at a critical
time in its development.

And now, you decide

to go off-grid

to find yourself.

Fuck you.

What do you care?

How many times have you
threatened to replace me?

First with New Media,

and now with this crew of
incomprehensible fuck knuckles.

Now I mean, fuck,
I am surprised...

I am surprised you even
realized I was gone.

What's going on with you?

Hmm.

Probably just some
malware I picked up.

Nothing a little anti-virus
software and some...

chicken soup for the internal receptors won't fix.

No, no.

What's going on with you?

Nothing!

I am fine!

I am good!

I'm great.

I tried to run the diagnostics
and something's wrong.

I don't know.

What were the results?

The system asked for
something called Artifact 1.

Do you have any idea
what that is?

Listen to me.

Of all my children, you,
Technical Boy,

are the one
I care for the most.

I know I've been hard on you,

but SHARD is essential to our survival

and to our future.

You are essential to SHARD.

Without you, it's just data,

devoid of an organizing principle.

Synapses firing,

but without an intelligence
to arrange that effort

into something meaningful.

I have always seen
something special in you.

In your time of need,
you're not alone.

I'm here.

And no matter
what the problem is,

together we can fix it.

Slight complication.

Yeah. The, uh, Technical Boy
has totally lost his shit.

Could be a glitch,
could be something worse.

No, no.
It's, it's here.

I got it.

It's safe.

I'm keeping it in a silo
two miles underground.

The kid doesn't
even know it exists.

How the fuck should I know?

She just...
popped in outta nowhere.

Back.

The fuck.

Off.

Yeah, not to further
ruin your day,

but Laura Moon
is back on the map.

I'm told they're looking
to start shit up.

So how do you want
to play it with her?

I had the same thoughts.

Well met, fair goddess.

Let's get this over with, hmm?

Oh, we have a special
seat picked out for you.

Oh, goodie.

Ladies and gentlemen,
fellow patients.

Tonight we present
a shadow play in one act.

It's a tragedy
of love, loss.

Cowardice and,
perhaps, redemption.

Enjoy.

Our tale begins
at the end of a war.

Victory for
a small group of rebels

over the tyranny
of a cruel king.

The conflict attracted soldiers
of fortune of all stripes.

Among them, Odin and Tyr.

Peacetime left them
at loose ends.

Come on, lay 'em down.
Let's see what everyone's got.

Come on, put 'em down.

Odin took to drunkenly
boasting of battles won.

Whilst Tyr turned his mind
to a goddess

with whom he had fallen
deeply in love.

The two warriors paid
a visit to the goddess.

Demeter.

One of the most sacred
of all deities.

She of the Grain,
Giver of Life,

Goddess of Earth
and Nourishment.

She was the most breathtaking
thing one could imagine.

Tyr, the worthiest of suitors,

sought her heart
with a conviction

born of love and kindness.

But Odin fell in love
with her at first sight.

She was not easily wooed.

But Odin's charm and passion

quickened her pulse in a way
that Tyr could not.

Following a brief,
but passionate courtship,

Demeter chose Odin over Tyr,

and they married.

For his part,

Tyr left the pain of lost love
hidden deep within,

so as not to spoil
Demeter's happiness.

Now comes the darkest part
of our tale.

Suffering and sorrow.

When strength and fortitude
were needed most,

Odin found himself
to be cowardly,

weak of heart,

and given over to fear.

So it was Tyr who stood by
Demeter in her time of need

while Odin left
to wage other wars,

his heart forever stamped
in shame by his cowardice.

And so ends our tale.

In the play, you're Odin.

Thank you,
thank you for coming.

Well, when you said
it was an emergency,

I should have guessed
it was involving Wednesday.

Well, after all these years,

he still can reach
some part of me,

in spite of everything.

He asked me for money.

Against my better judgement,

I found myself reaching for my check book.

Well, we both loved him,

loathe as we are
to admit it.

250 years and
you're still jealous

she chose me.

Just admit you're
after her money.

And she still loves me.
That's what galls you.

No, no, I think you have it
backwards, Ofnir.

You love me,

but you can't admit it,

because with you, everything

is either a game
or pure theater.

Whereas he doesn't have
a false bone in his body.

You were a warrior once.

Now you're an oral
health janitor.

I've never been ashamed
of my decisions.

Can you say as much?

Clearly, she asked you
to come here.

-Why?
-Well...

Not that she confides
her feelings in me,

but I would guess that
she's finding it rather hard

to believe you care for her
beyond her money

or the thrill you get
from winning.

You know, a first-rate mind
like hers

would find all those
contradictions could be true.

If you wanna
prove me wrong,

just ask her
what she wants!

And listen to the answer!

It might help you remember
the god you once were.

You fuckin' tooth fairy.

Shadow Moon?

Oh-ho-ho, it's so
great to see you.

Mike. This is my sister.

-Sister.

Half-sister: same father,
different mother.

Sam Black Crow,
this is Mike Ainsel.

Mike, huh?

Come on, get in here.

Let's open one of those bottles of wine.

How was the drive, Sis?

Ugh, long.

I appreciate you
making it out.

-Place looks great.
-Thank you.

Hey, Marguerite,
where would you
like the wine?

Uh, on the table's fine.

Do you see the wine
key over there?

You clean up nice.

You been in Lakeside
long, Mike?

No. Um, not really sure

how long I'm gonna stay,
though.

He started painting
his apartment.

Huh.

-Hi, Mom.
-Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

-Those stay outside.
-Come on.

They're gonna
stink up the house.

-Hey, Leon.
-Hey.

Hockey season and
its aroma are upon us.

You, uh, much of a skater,
Mr. Ainsel?

No. Never learned.

Seriously? I was three
when my mom taught me.

Marguerite taught
all of us.

You know, maybe
if you're lucky,

she might teach you, too.

When it happened,
when we lost her...

I felt ambushed by
an enemy I didn't know.

In shame, I ran away

when I should've stayed
to comfort you.

We could have
faced it together.

I... should have stayed.

Well.

Yeah.

Well, it was easier for me...

...to hate you,

than it was
to mourn our child.

Heh.

Although you deserved it.

And I had no...
I had nowhere to run.

And...

And I need to stop
hiding in this place.

You are...
You're right about that.

I do, I do, I want to join
the world again.

I...

I need to rejoin...

its wild dance.

I...

So, you'll... you'll leave with
me when the release papers come?

They're here.

They came today.

Then...

Tomorrow...
Tomorrow is soon enough.

I... I need to say
goodbye to my friends.

As you should.

As you should.

Do you know...

that I have never...

been able to properly...

mourn our child?

We'll shed a tear together,
Demeter,

and then lead
the Old Gods to triumph.

Ah, there you are.

There's the Ofnir
I first knew.

Until tomorrow, then.

Hey, thanks for not
blowing my cover in there.

And, for what it's worth,
my intentions are honorable.

When I met you, you were
hustling a gas clerk

out of 20 bucks and I still
let your ass in my truck.

That is true.

Some people you just
get a feeling about.

I always knew that
I'd see you again.

Are you clairvoyant?

I'm saying, you hurt
my sister, I'll know.

She's been
through hell already.

With her ex?

It's more about her son
Sandy leaving home.

Pretty much broke her heart.

Her oldest.

She said he was in Florida.

That's the hope.

I'm closer to Sandy's age
than Marguerite's.

Technically, he's my nephew,

but he was more
like a twin brother.

I've written, texted,
called him for years.

Never once
have I heard back.

If he was with his dad
in Florida,

I would've heard from him.

Well...

Take care of yourself,
Mr. Moon.

I'll be watching you.

Hey!

Hey!

Hey!

Derek? Derek!

Cancelled? Fuck!

What do we do now?

I don't know.
Maybe we should
go back to the motel

three states away
and ask the fucking TV.

Uh, Laura.

Hi, kids.

Laura.

I hear we have
a common enemy.

Hank, I will always
think of you

as more of a friend

than a mere purveyor
of sponge baths.

Thank you.

Give my regards
to the lovely Elizabeth.

Will do.
You take care.

Mm-hmm.

Oh, Elsa, I know it's sad

but this too shall pass.

And, as for you, Cordelia,

you have the keen eye
of a fashionista.

-Mm-hmm.
-Mm-hmm.

Did you have a good time doing
the old Number 37 with Shadow?

A little dress-up,
a little role-play.

Oh, I'll get Demeter.
I'll see you in the car.

Oh, I just saw her outside.

No.

No, Demeter, don't go.