American Dragon: Jake Long (2005–2007): Season 2, Episode 31 - The Hong Kong Longs - full transcript

Jake Long's family tours Hong Kong, actually for a special meeting of Dragons. Grandpa is abducted. In an effort to rescue him, Jake and his close friends use their extreme-sport skills but...

GRANDPA: Welcome to Hong Kong,
beloved family

and daughter's husband.

Uh, come, I’ll show you to your rooms.

Hey, Dad, do you think that
maybe we could dial down

the crazed sightseeing
on this vacation a little bit?

Oh, don't worry, Jake.

I've narrowed our "must-see" list
to a mere 748 sights and/or attractions.

But, Dad, isn't this a time for you to,

you know, chill out
and get to know your family?

Oh, of course, Jake.

This is my chance to see where
your mom's side of the family comes from.



I don't want to miss
a single solitary thing.

(JAKE SIGHS)

Ah! I still can't believe
Gramps is springing for us

to tag along on the big family vacation.

Hey, Jakey. What's wrong?
Water too hot for you?

It's Rose... I never thought
I'd have the chance to see her again.

But she's here, in Hong Kong.

Jakey, you wished
for her to have a happy life,

and she got it.

It just doesn't include you, dude.

You have to let her go.

JAKE: I know. Come on.

Let's kick back and enjoy the view.

We got the harbor over there,



the city down there,
and, yo, look at those hills.

GRANDPA: The tallest
one is called Victoria Peak.

Yep, but it's known by the locals as
the back of the dragon.

The first dragon temple was built
on that very summit

thousands of years ago.

Come on, Spud.
Let's just rotate back inside

-and dial for some room service.
-Yup! (SNIFFS)

I think I smell some
dragon business in the air.

Come on, G.
I'm on vacation here, remember?

I am sorry, young dragon,

but the timing of this vacation
is no coincidence.

You see, that temple
only appears on the hill

once every thousand years
during a very rare lunar eclipse,

which just so happens to be
ba-doom-ski... tomorrow night!

And on that night,
all of the world's dragons

gather there for a mandatory meeting.

Yeah, but, here's the good news.

The eclipse only lasts a couple of hours.

Kind of like most of
my romantic attachments.

A-goo-goo-goo.

So, for the rest of the time,
we are completely free

to enjoy the city with friends and family.

Yes. Everything is going
according to plan.

(THEME SONG PLAYING)

♪ He's cool, he's hot like a frozen sun ♪

♪ He's young and fast
He's the chosen one ♪

♪ People, we're not braggin' ♪

♪ He's the American Dragon ♪

♪ He's gonna stop his enemies
with his dragon power ♪

♪ Dragon teeth, dragon tail,
burnin' dragon fire ♪

♪ A real live wire ♪

♪ American Dragon ♪

♪ American Dragon ♪

♪ He's the American Dragon ♪

♪ His skills are gettin' faster ♪

♪ With Grandpa, the master ♪

♪ It's destiny, what's up, G? ♪

♪ It's showtime, baby, for the legacy ♪

♪ American Dragon ♪

♪ I'm a dragon ♪

♪ I'm not braggin'
It's my destiny ♪

♪ I'm the magical protector of the NYC ♪

Ya heard?

♪ American Dragon ♪

Yeow!

JONATHAN: My, oh, my!
Wasn't that snail farm something?

And only 48 blocks away
from our hotel, too.

Jonathan, wait. Let's take a break.

But, Honeybunch, it's 10 a.m.,
and we've only hit 72 sights.

-(ALL GROAN)
-Dad, this is supposed to be a chance

for us to hang together as a family.

You're spending more time with
the tour books.

Oh, that reminds me...
I really want to check out

-some of the stuff in this book.
-(GASPS)

-Where did you get that?
-This?

Oh, I found it in your dad's office
when we locked up the store.

It is full of cool local stuff

that is not in the other books.

Mom, that's a magical tour book.
He's gonna find out everything.

Haley, come on.
We have to get that book away from him.

CHANG: Greetings, Lao Shi.

BANANAS B.: Bangers, boy!

TRIXIE: Jakey, Chang just snatched
your Gramps.

SPUD: We got to do something!

Can't dragon up here. Too many people.

We need some wheels.

Come on!

CHANG: It's no use, American Dragon.

Your grandfather is mine!
(LAUGHS MALICIOUSLY)

(SCREAMS)

JAKE: Whoa.

Whoa!

JAKE: Guys, watch out!

Ah! Whoa!

(HORNS HONKS)

They got to be in here somewhere.

This is the Hong Kong convention
and Exhibition Center, Jakey.

This place is huge.

I don't mean to be a downer,

but I got a feeling
that we just walked into a, uh...

A trap!

(LAUGHS DIABOLICALLY)

(LAUGHS DIABOLICALLY)

The Dark Dragon.

Question. Is the bad-guy laugh
really necessary?

I mean, come on. It's such a cliche.

Or is it a stereotype?

(SHOUTS) Spud! Now is not the time.

No. Now is the time for this.

Dragon up!

Come now. Is that
any way to treat an old friend?

(JAKE GRUNTING)

-(LAUGHS DIABOLICALLY)
-(JAKE GRUNTS)

(THUDS)

Bangers! How do you like
the new and improved Dark Dragon?

TRIXIE: Uh, he does seem a lot bigger.

Yeah, like maybe he's been working out.

I have imbued the Dark One
with powers you cannot even imagine.

Let my Grandfather go!

(SCREAMS, GRUNTS)

DARK DRAGON: Of course,
but first I expect a favor from you.

Tonight during the eclipse,

the world's dragons will hold
the traditional thousand year toast.

You will slip a few drops of this potion

into each of their drinks.

You're gonna slip them
a little surprise at the party, yo.

-And if I don't?
-You'll never see your grandfather again.

(LAUGHS DIABOLICALLY)

There's the evil laugh. Cliche!

Jake, don't do it. Don't!

(STRAINS)

Grandpa, no!

Too... much... exercise.

(PANTING) A-goo. What?
Did I miss anything?

What happened?

Kid, this is definitely
some kind of dark mind control potion.

If you slip this into the toast tonight,

you're giving the Dark Dragon a free pass

-to rule the magical world.
-I know, but if I don't,

what's gonna happen to Grandpa?

-We have to...
-JONATHAN: There you kids are!

Hey, I thought we'd try this
little hole in a wall place for lunch.

You literally have to walk
through a wall to get there.

Imagine that.

JONATHAN: Wow. Would you take
a little lookie-look at this place?

It's like dinner theater
for dungeon masters.

-Uh, yeah. Great costumes.
-(HORSE WHINNIES)

Ooh! Here we go.

It's a local specialty.
Transformation tea.

(SLURPS) Mmm. Oh, my.
Yep, that needs a little sugar.

Uh, let's see what's on the menu.

We have to rescue Grandpa
before the eclipse tonight.

It's our only chance

Yeah. We gotta fight the Dark Dragon.

And by "we," I mean mostly Jake
and the other dragons.

It shouldn't be too hard.

All the dragons in the world
are right here in Hong Kong.

I don't know, kid. If the Dark Dragon
is as pumped up as you say,

he might be too powerful.

You see, the Dark Dragon is
the only dragon that's ever gone bad.

Dragons just don't have
that much experience

fighting other dragons.

No, but I know someone who does.

SPUD: Rose? But you
don't even know where to find her.

I looked up where she goes to school.

FU: Oh, You gotta be kidding me.

Hey, I guess I'm not
that good at letting go.

Jake, she never trained to slay dragons.

-She was never a member of The Huntsclan.
-I know,

but she still has the birthmark.
She's still a natural dragon slayer.

But she doesn't know that.

This photo of you guys
shouldn't even exist.

It's only because you had it with you

when you created the parallel reality
of the... Oh!

My head hurts just thinking about it.

Look, I know it's a long shot,
but we don't have any other choice.

The Dark Dragon is too powerful.

Yeah, but even If you convince her,

she doesn't have her
ninja Huntsgirl staff thingy

-or any of that gear.
-Hey, I know.

The Huntsclan had lairs
all over the world.

Maybe they had a Hong Kong franchise.

Check it out. I'll get Rose
and meet you back at the hotel.

Uh, I got to go... meet Grandpa.

He wanted to show me
his old neighborhood and stuff.

Well, catch you guys later.

-(SLURPS) Ah!
-Ahhh!

(SPEAKS FOREIGN LANGUAGE)

-Hey!
-Hey, yourself.

Uh, it's Rose, right?

Do I know you?

You do, or you did.

Uh. My name is Jake Long.

We went to school
together back in New York.

It's complicated.
Can we go somewhere and talk?

Talk? About what?

It's just... You won't believe me.

I'm pretty open-minded. Give it a shot.

Okay, here goes. (INHALES)

The happy life that you're living now

is an alternate reality
that I wished for you.

You're actually a mythical dragon slayer

who was kidnapped by The Huntsclan

and trained since birth
to fight and slay dragons.

I need you to come with me tonight
to Victoria Peak

to slay the Dark Dragon in order
to save my grandfather

and possibly entire magical world.

(BREATHES DEEPLY) Phew!

Yeah, I'm not that open-minded.

JONATHAN: Yes-sirreebob,

the Hong Kong Botanical gardens.

Well, we can check off number 128
on the ol' list here.

Check it out.
There's an abandoned Huntsclan lair

-just a couple blocks from here.
-(BEEPING)

Oh, hey, Papa Dawg,
Spud and I are going to,

uh, go check out this... Yeah,
the museum thing, all right?

Oh, a museum. Great!

How did I miss that one?

-(POOF)
-Lead the way.

JAKE: Hold on.

Look, if you just let me explain, I...

-Look, just leave me alone.
-You have to believe me.

Okay. If I'm some sort of dragon slayer,

that would mean
that dragons are real, right?

Absolutely. We're the good guys, actually.

-We?
-Oh, yeah. I almost forgot.

-I'm a dragon.
-I'm officially creeped out. Bye.

No, look. Wait.

Look at this mark on your hand.
It's a dragon.

How did you know about that?

Come with me some place private.

I'll turn into a dragon
and prove it to you.

Rose, look at my eyes.

Somehow, you have to remember me.

Let me call ahead
and make sure my family's not home.

If you have proof, you can show me there.

Well, this is just
the strangest museum I have ever seen.

It's like some combination of

Ancient Chinese warrior artifacts
and modern art.

You know?

Oh, look. It's some kind
of interactive display.

-I wonder what this does?
-(BEEPS)

AUTOMATED VOICE:
Self-destruct sequence initiated.

T-minus ten seconds
until thermal detonation.

Uh, we gotta go, Mr. Long.

Yeah. I think this, uh, museum
might be closing early today.

Um, do we need to pay for this stuff
at the gift shop or something?

SPUD: Uh, yeah, I’m sure they’ll
just send us a bill.

(TRIXIE SCREAMS)

ROSE: So. Here we are.

Rose, I'm so sorry
I had to spring all this on you.

It's just that my grandfather is...

-Jake, these are my parents.
-You called them?

I had to. Listen, Jake.
You seem really nice.

But you obviously have
some powerful delusions

and I think you need help letting go.

Rose, no. I know it sounds unbelievable,

but everything I told you is true.

I can prove it. Watch this...

-Dragon...
-Please, don't hurt him!

Rose! Wait! You have to remember me!

You have to! Please!

Ahhh! (GRUNTS)

(DOOR CLOSES)

JAKE: Dragon up!

No, I'm too late!
The eclipse already started.

I'm gonna go grab some ice.
Be back in a jiff and a half.

(DOOR CLOSES)

Will someone please tell me
what's going on here?

Long story short?

Dark Dragon has captured Gramps
to force Jake

to slip a mind control potion
to all the world's dragons

at a secret meeting tonight.

Oh, you'd think I'd get used to
this kind of thing by now.

Where is Jake?

He was supposed to be here
with Rose an hour ago.

I don't know,
but I better practice my fight moves.

-Dragon up!
-(DOOR OPENS)

Silly me! I forgot the ice bucket.

(SCREAMS) Oh, good golly!

Honey, wait. I can explain...

My daughter, she's...

She's some kind
of pink flying reptile here!

Uh, it's a mirage.

Uh, no, wait. Um, you're dreaming.

(CHUCKLES) Yeah. It's... It's...

Oh. It's my side of the family.

We're dragons.

I just never knew how to tell you, honey.

And since the cat's out of the bag here,
I can talk, too.

How do ya like them apples?
(SNIGGERS)

Okay listen,
you should probably sit down, you know...

(MOANS)

Or lie down. That works, too.

JONATHAN: I know I said
I wanted to get to know

your side of the family on this trip,

but this is a little more
than I bargained for.

Okay. Uh, let me just
sum it all up here.

You're all dragons.

Magical fire breathing dragons.

Well, it skipped my generation.

But my father, Haley, and...

Jake. Where is he?

He's in some serious trouble, John.
Can I call you John?

We haven't talked much before now,
but I feel I know you.

Well, if Jake is in trouble,
then we've got to help.

Come on, you can fill me in on the way.

COUNCILOR ANDAM: The American Dragon.

Late as usual, I see.

Jake, where are
your grandfather and Haley?

They're gonna miss
the thousand year toast.

Uh, they're right behind me.
You know, traffic.

Here, let me give you a hand pouring that.

Okay. One more question...
Are unicorns real?

-Sure.
-Fairies?

-You bet.
-Gnomes?

-Elves? Mermaids?
-Yes, yes and yes.

Santa Claus?

Just keep your eyes on the road
and your foot on the pedal, will ya?

Welcome Dragons, one and all,
to the thousand year gathering.

DARK DRAGON: Yes.

The boy is slipping them
the mind control potion,

just as we commanded.

GRANDPA: Jake... No... don't.

Quiet, old man.

His love for his family is his weakness.

(POURS)

And now, we toast.

To another thousand years
of peace and prosperity

throughout the magical world.

(THUNDER RUMBLES)

(DARK DRAGON LAUGHS DIABOLICALLY)

Greetings, my dragon brothers and sisters.

Allow me to propose another toast...

to dragons ruling the world!

-(THUNDER RUMBLES)
-(EVIL LAUGH)

Fools! It is useless to fight me!

The Dark Dragon speaks the truth.

You are all under a mind control spell
that you cannot resist.

You can thank the American Dragon

for slipping the surprise
into your drinks!

-Jake!
-I had no choice. He has Grandpa.

Uh...

(MONKEY SOUNDS) Go ahead, Double D,

make them do something.

Very well. Korean Dragon,

I command you to destroy Councilor Andam!

(MOANS)

(STRAINS)

Hmm. That's not exactly
what I had in mind.

What is the meaning of this?

JAKE: The meaning is simple, Dark Drag.

I ditched your potion and gave them
a little local specialty instead...

Transformation Tea.

(GROWLS)

(SCREAMS)

I tried to give you all the chance
to join me in ruling the world.

But the American Dragon has
just sealed your destruction.

If we have to choose between
destruction and joining you,

we'll take destruction every time.

Then you shall have it!

Starting with your own grandfather!

GRANDPA: Hi-ya!

Sorry, tall, dark and ugly...

But if you want them...

You're gonna have to go through us, too.

All of us.

Dad?

DARK DRAGON: Very well.

You had your chance
to join me in victory.

Instead, you shall all--

Uh, excuse me?
Yeah, sorry to interrupt.

But I move that we skip the rest of
this dude's villain banter

and get right to
the cool Kung Fu fighting.

I second the mortal's motion!

Attack!

(ALL SCREAMING)

Ahhh! (GRUNTS)

(SCREAMS)

I have another question.
It's just bothering me.

When they turn into dragons,
what happens to their clothes?

Ahhh!

Spudinski! Would you get this thing
to shoot already?

-Taste this, shade dudes!
-(BEEPS)

(COUGHS) Sorry, my bad.

Haley!

(GRUNTS, SCREAMS)

(GROWLS)

Hi-ya!

Hi-ya. (GRUNTING)

I think I'm just gonna wait outside, yo.

-I'm against violence.
-Really?

(BANANAS B. SCREAMS)

'Cause I'm all for it. A-goo-goo-goo.

SUSAN: Uh, Jonathan. We’re surrounded.

Uh, let's see. Shade demons.
Weakness... light.

Honey!

(CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS)

JONATHAN: Hey, shade demons.
Care to be enlightened?

JAKE: Looks like your shade dudes
just got their butts kicked by my Dad!

You have no idea of my dark powers!

(GROANS)

Ah!

So much power. It's too easy.

(LAUGHS DIABOLICALLY)

Yeah. You might be winning,

but that evil laugh is still a cliche,
so there!

(BOTH SCREAM)

He's not kidding about
that dark power stuff.

It's no use.

Even all of us together
are no match for him.

(LAUGHS DIABOLICALLY)

Are there none who can challenge me?

Hi-ya!

(DARK DRAGON SCREAMS)

Look! It's a slayer.

But how? Who is she?

Let's just say she's an old friend.

Rose, heads up!

(ROSE GRUNTS)

(DARK DRAGON SCREAMS)

(ROSE GRUNTING)

(BOTH GRUNTING)

-(GROWLS)
-(GRUNTS)

Uh...uh...

SUSAN: What’s happening?

FU: We gotta get out of here
before the eclipse ends

or we'll be stuck in this temple
for the next thousand years! A-goo.

JAKE: Huh? Rose!

-Argh!
-(GRUNTS)

(DARK DRAGON SCREAMS)

-Jake!
-I'm not losing her again.

(STRAINS)

(STRAINS)

Jake, it's too late. Let me go!

(STRAINS)

Come on.

Oh! Huh?

Ahhh!

(LAUGHS DIABOLICALLY)

(DARK DRAGON GROWLS)

Hi-ya!

(DARK DRAGON SCREAMS) No!

(BOTH GRUNT)

(ALL CHEERING)

Rose, you remembered. But how?

You left this at my house.

Let's just say it brought back
some memories.

(SIGHS) What a day.

I could go for a little soak
in the hot tub. Spud?

Count me in.

Ooh, me, too. I hope you don't mind
that I'm shedding.

'Cause the hair in the thing
and the filter... What are you gonna do?

Good night, young dragon.

Once again, you have
made me proud to call myself your master.

Thanks, G.

Well, the good news is
we still have six days

to see the sights in Hong Kong.

Yup. So what's left on the list?

(CHUCKLES) Forget the list.

I just want to chill out

and spend some time
with my family, you know?

Dad, you just found out today

that you married into
a whole family of magical reptiles.

It's just... you seem to be taking
the news pretty well.

I don't know. I guess, deep down,

I always knew there was
something magical about my family.

Trust me, there's
something magical about you, too.

Okay, who dealt it?

-(FART SOUNDS)
-Nobody gets me.

-Do the script.
-You do not want to escalate.

Monkey steals the peaches.

Did you say, "Holla"?

(STRAINED) I’ll have the large.

Who-da-who-da-he-da-he-da-
who-da-who-da-da.

Pass the dragon what, now?

Snack mix?

-(GAGS)
-(GAGS)

-(GRANDPA COUGHS)
-Auf-wiener-stain.

That’s a whole lot of peanuts.

(VOMITS)

Do I have to pay extra for that?

HALEY: I’ll pick up an energy drink
and pork rinds on the way to school.

TRIXIE: Oh, Mom?

Here come the chalk! (VOMITS)