American Dragon: Jake Long (2005–2007): Season 2, Episode 3 - The Academy - full transcript

Spud breaks the HuntsClan encryption code and two trainees are captured. Jake and Spud replace them and go to the training facility to try to uncover another evil plot. What if Jake is ...

JAKE: Are you sure about this, bud?

Yeah, 'cause, you know,
I'm always happy to help you out.

No, thanks, Trix.

For once, I'm gonna find my own date
for the dance.

Lone wolf Spud is officially on the prowl.

(HOWLING)

Okay, so who you gonna holler at?

Hmm. I'm not sure
which area of the cafeteria to try first.

There's the jock table, the nerd table,

motorheads, goths,

freaks, delinquents, goody two shoes,



bandies, hip-hoppers. I guess I'll just
cast my line out in the stream here

and see if I can get a nibble.

-Afternoon, milady.
-No.

-Hey, I love that...
-No.

-Hi, my name is...
-No.

-Say, do you...
-No.

-I...
-ALL: No.

(GROANS)

Don't worry, dude.
I'm sure there are plenty of girls

who would love
to go to the dance with you.

To tell you the truth,
Trixie's the one I'm worried about.

Me not asking her to the dance

has got to be
the biggest tragedy of her...

Uh, Spud.



Sure, that sounds great, Kyle.
Pick me up at around 7:00, then.

Did you all see that? Kyle Wilkins.

I'm going to the dance
with the Kyle Wilkins.

"...living life
in the summertime Wilkins."

Okay!

(SIGHS) I'm sure she's crying
on the inside.

So what about you, Jakey?
Who are you gonna ask to the dance?

I... I think I just might, you know,
go by myself.

Huh? You, Jakey? Flying solo?

Quit playing, player.

There must be somebody you wanna go with.

No, not really.

Ah! Kara. Sara.

Check it. It's those freaky Oracle twins.

The ones that see into the future
and all that.

(SIGHS) Sara had a vision.

(SIGHS) How bad are we talking here?

Go ahead. Tell him.

I wouldn't let it ruin your day
or anything.

It's just,
the Huntsman is putting together

a plan that will mean
the total annihilation

of all magical creatures. (GIGGLES)

Oh, and, oh, you're gonna get
a really huge zit next week.

(THEME SONG PLAYING)

♪ He's cool, he's hot like a frozen sun ♪

♪ He's young and fast
He's the chosen one ♪

♪ People, we're not braggin' ♪

♪ He's the American Dragon ♪

♪ He's gonna stop his enemies
with his dragon power ♪

♪ Dragon teeth, dragon tail,
burnin' dragon fire ♪

♪ A real live wire ♪

♪ American Dragon ♪

♪ American Dragon ♪

♪ He's the American Dragon ♪

♪ His skills are gettin' faster ♪

♪ With Grandpa, the master ♪

♪ His destiny, what's up, G? ♪

♪ It's showtime, baby, for the legacy ♪

♪ American Dragon ♪

♪ I'm a dragon, I'm not braggin'
It's my destiny ♪

♪ I'm the magical protector of the NYC ♪

Ya heard?

♪ American Dragon ♪

Yeow!

The vision doesn't have many specifics.

I see a circle of skulls,
magical creatures crying in agony.

Ooh, I love the colors in this rug.

See? It's just like Rose told me
in my dream.

The Huntsclan is up to something big.

What about you, Kara?
You're supposed to see the happy stuff.

Let's see. I see a vision of girls
fighting over Spud.

Really? Tell me more.

Okay, I see you guys setting a trap
to catch a member of the Huntsclan,

and it works. Whoopee!

Catch a member of the Huntsclan?
Can we do that?

Hmm. Well, I have been working on
a little something

that might just do the trick.

You know how the Huntsclan
can teleport from place to place?

Well, theoretically, it might be possible

to intercept their teleportation beams
and catch one.

Problem is, the beams are encrypted
in a Huntsclan code.

Dude, let me plug in.

The Dragon Council has been working
for hundreds of years to break the code.

-It may be impossible...
-Yeah, I'm in.

(GASPS)

It's a mirror encryption pattern.

Kinda tricky, but I found a back door
someone forgot to shut.

-Yeah, Spud, you rock.
-Yeah, that's what I'm talkin' about.

-(DEVICE BEEPING)
-Hold on. I'm locking onto something.

(CAT MEOWS)

Aw, look at that cute little...

(ALL SCREAM)

JAKE: Whoa!
TRIXIE: Hey!

Uh, wait, that was a typo.

JAKE: Uh, Spud?

(FU DOG WHIMPERS)

-(SNARLING)
-Hey, Potato Boy.

Do you mind?

Okay, this is it. Definitely a Huntsclan
teleportation signal.

Prepare for battle, young dragon.

(BOTH COUGHING)

-89, are we here?
-Must be, 88.

Dude, I am so wicked psyched
to slay my first dragon.

88: I heard that.

First dragon I run into,

I'mma be like, "Yo, what's up, boo?"

And then he's gonna be like,
"No, spare me, mighty number 88."

Then I'm gonna be like... (GRUNTS)
"What now, sucker?"

-And then he's gonna be like...
-Huh?

(SNARLING)

Dra... Dra... Dragon!

(SCREAMS) Mama, Mama.

I don't get it. Who are these clowns?

They appear to be Huntsclan trainees.

Beginner level students.

Their teleportation beam
was gonna take them here.

FU DOG: Their secret
Huntsclan training facility upstate.

Lots of parking. Nice.

There's also a central mainframe computer,

but I can only access it there
at the source.

Getting to that computer
may be our one chance

to uncover the Huntsman's plot.

But it will involve
some dangerous undercover work.

This ought to put you right back into
the same transporter beam path.

Get the information and get out quickly.

I wish you both luck.

Listen, Spud,

in case something happens
and you don't come back,

I just want you to know something
about the dance.

Sure, Trix.

I just want you to know...
I'm going with Kyle Wilkins!

Can you believe the realness right now?

Okay, I just cannot say that enough times.

Kyle Wilkins. Kyle Wilkins.
Oh, my goodness.

Okay, kids, it's blast-off time.

SPUD: Uh, are you sure this is safe?
FU DOG: Absolutely.

Unless you happen to be wearing
aluminum underwear.

Hmm? Ah!

Numbers 88 and 89!

You maggots are two hours late.
Now, run, run!

I wanna hear the primary mission
and objective of the Huntsclan.

Now!

BOTH: To rid the earth
of all magical creatures.

(SPUD GRUNTS)

-(MECHANICAL WHIRRING)
-(BOTH SCREAMING)

-(BOTH GRUNTING)
-Welcome to the Huntsclan Academy.

You're late for class!

TEACHER: Dragons can often be tracked

from the putrid stench that comes
from under their wings.

Yep, totally, I know.
Not to mention their funny haircuts.

-Spud, shut it.
-You there, number 88, front and center.

-I need a dragon.
-A dragon?

What? No, no, I'm... I'm not a dragon.
No way!

I hate dragons. (RETCHES)

I need you to play the part of a dragon
for a little demonstration.

(CHUCKLES) Right. No problem.

I'll just, you know,
pretend to be a dragon

since I'm definitely not...

a dragon.

Class, you're about to receive
a demonstration from my assistant,

someone who has faced dragons before.

-Huntsgirl.
-(GRUNTING)

-Rose?
-ROSE: First lesson.

-(JAKE SCREAMS)
-Never let down your guard.

Dragons are heavily armored
along the head and back.

You wanna go for their soft underbellies.

(CHUCKLES) Just for the record,
that's all muscle down there, baby.

ROSE: Dragons have another weak spot.

Oh, I know, I know.
Behind the left ear, right, right?

That's why they're such babies

when you flick 'em behind the ear
at the Skate Park Snack Bar,

'cause they're taking forever trying
to decide between chili fries and...

At least, that's what I've read about
in books and stuff.

ROSE: Correct, number 89.

A direct hit behind the left ear
will result in a clean slaying.

And one last thing,
never show a Dragon mercy. Ever.

I can't believe it. Rose is here.

Yeah, and she's also teaching a class

on how to carve up dragons
like Thanksgiving turkeys.

We can't trust her, dude.

Rose had a chance to slay me once.
She let me go.

We're not here to do the whole
"doomed love connection" thing.

We're here to uncover the bad guys'
master plan, remember?

Yeah, I guess you're right.

Come on. Let's do this.

SPUD: There. That's where I need to
plug in to access the mainframe.

This place is crawling with guards.

-We're gonna have...
-Hiya!

(GRUNTS)

Uh, hey, Rose, what's up?

Jake?

Rose, I've been looking for you.

What are you doing here?

I got your message,
you know, from my dream.

I told you not to come after me.
It's too dangerous.

Can you tell us
what the Huntsman is planning?

I don't know. They sent me back here
for messing up in the field.

They don't tell me anything anymore.

Then we need to access the computer
in that room.

It might be the only way
we can find out.

MAN: The noise came from this direction.

We have to
get you back to your room. Now!

Hey, Rose, nice to see you... (YELLS)

(JAKE AND SPUD SCREAMING)

Bed check, maggots.

Numbers 89, 88.

I can help you get to the computer.

Rose, what about you?
I won't just leave you here.

I don't have anywhere else to go.

I told you in the dream, Jake.
You can't save me.

(VIDEO GAME BEEPING)

You know, you can't treat us like this.
It's, like, totally barbaric.

88: (COUGHS) Excuse me, I'm empty again,

and I demand a twist of lemon this time.

-89: I win.
-Hey, hey, no fair!

I was just getting a refill.
That is an automatic timeout.

Tough turkey.
You have to call the soda freeze.

That ain't a rule. You just made that up.

-Uh-uh. Uh-uh.
-Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

-Uh-uh. Uh-uh.
-Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

Enough!

Look, I gotta unload some cargo over here.

And I better not hear a peep
out of either of you when I get back.

-Uh-uh. Uh-uh.
-Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

-Uh-uh. Uh-uh.
-Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

(BEEPS)

(BOTH GASP)

(SLURPS)

SPUD: You don't suppose these burgers
are made out of unicorn, do you?

Mmm.

Check it out. The cafeteria breaks down
just like at our school.

Huntsclan jocks, Huntsclan nerds,

-Huntsclan motorheads.
-And Huntsclan hotties, too.

-(EXCLAIMS)
-Hey, 89.

Um, you seem to know a lot about dragons.

Uh, well, yeah. I mean, sure.

Will you, like, totally tutor me, maybe?

Back off! Number 89 is tutoring me.

We'll see about that.

(BOTH GRUNTING)

Did you guys study for the lab test
in dragon-slaying today?

Lab test?

You will have 30 minutes

to mix together a venom
that is lethal to dragons.

Begin.

Hmm. Well, let's see what this does.

(LOUD EXPLOSION)

(COUGHING)

(ALL GROANING)

TEACHER: Number 88 and 89,

in addition to destroying the class,
you have failed the lab test.

This mixture
will not be lethal to a dragon,

but will only give
the temporary appearance of death.

You will both be punished.

Yeah, I'm used to that,
so what do y'all have around here?

Detention, demerits, what?

Dude, what did he say
we're being thrown to?

-A kraken.
-A crackin' what?

I think they look something like...

-(GROWLS)
-Something like that.

(ALL CHEERING)

(JAKE AND SPUD YELPING)

(KRAKEN GROWLS)

(ALL CHEERING)

(GROWLING)

-JAKE: Run!
-(KRAKEN GROWLING)

I guess we should have studied.

JAKE: Spud, look out!

(BOTH GRUNT)

ROSE: Jake, keep moving.

We don't stand a chance in here.

I can't use any of my dragon powers.
Everyone will see.

Not for long. Trust me.

(KRAKEN GROWLING)

JAKE: Run, Spud, come on!

(GRUNTS)

JAKE: Eye of the dragon.

All right, Jake, think.

(JAKE GRUNTING)

Time to turn that frown upside down.
Ya heard?

(ALL GASP)

-(KRAKEN GROANS)
-(GASPS)

HUNTSGIRL: He is the greatest warrior
in the school.

(ALL CHEERING)

Uh-huh, uh-huh.

(CHUCKLES) I rock!

JAKE: See, Spud?
I told you, Rose is legit.

She totally had our backs.

89, hi. I was wondering,
do you have a date for the dance tonight?

Well, actually, I, uh...

No, number 89 shall be my date!

(SNIFFS) I smell weakness in you.

You shall bathe in the stench
of your own pathetic defeat.

(GROWLS ANGRILY)

I want number 89!

I proclaim him as my own.

Uh, Spud, shouldn't we be
breaking this up or something?

Probably, but when is this
ever gonna happen to me again?

Go, ladies!
Fight for the trophy that is me.

Ro... I mean, Huntsgirl.

Number 88, do you have a date
for the dance tonight?

Yes. I mean, no!
I mean, let's go, you and me.

-We'll get on the dance floor, shake...
-Listen.

The dance hall is located
right above the computer vault.

Tonight could be our only chance
to access it. Understand?

Oh, right, I got it.

Yeah, but after we get
the computer files,

I think you'd better...
I want you to come with us.

Jake, they would find me.

There's only one way
I'll ever graduate from this place.

-Name it. Whatever it is, we can...
-I have to slay a dragon.

-(TOILET FLUSHING)
-FU DOG: Whoo!

I'm just gonna leave
the fan on in there. (CHUCKLES)

Oh, no! We got problems.

(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)

-Get ready.
-What?

You've got something in mind
for the distraction?

It won't be hard.
This is a school just like any other.

-(WHISPERING INDISTINCTLY)
-(GASPS)

(WHISPERING INDISTINCTLY)

(RECORD SCRATCHES)

You said what about me?

(BOTH GRUNTING)

HUNTSMASTER:
Girls, break it up. (GROANS)

Nicely done.

-We won't have much time.
-JAKE: Spud, come on.

But the fighting
and the pretty evil girls and the...

Downloading. Downloading. Yes!

All right, let's get out of here.
We got it.

ROSE: You've gotta get that information
back to New York.

Head for the teleportation platform.

-Spud, wait.
-Huh?

We can't just leave her.

-But, Jake...
-88: Yo, Huntsmen, that's him.

-(BOTH GASP)
-HUNTSMASTER: That student is an impostor.

Seize him!

Where is the other one? Number 89.

(HUNTSBOY HUMMING)

Look, there's the other impostor.

-Seize him!
-Huh? What?

-(CLAMORING)
-(SPUD WHISTLES)

Whoa! (GRUNTS)

Let's expose your true identity, shall we?

JAKE: Hyah!

Dragon up!

HUNTSMASTER: It's a dragon.

Dra... Dra... Dragon!

(YELLING) Mama, Mama, Mama.

HUNTSMASTER:
Don't just stand there. Seize him!

(JAKE GROANS)

(GRUNTS)

-Huntsgirl.
-ROSE: Yes, Master.

How would you like one last chance
to rejoin me back in the field?

I... Of course, Master.

Tomorrow at dawn, you and this dragon
will fight to the finish.

-(DOOR UNLOCKING)
-I'm getting you out of here.

Look, if I'm gone in the morning,
they're gonna blame you.

I can't let that happen.

You have to slay me.

-Jake...
-Listen to me.

At dawn, the two of us
are going into that arena.

Only one of us is coming out.

Don't!

You'll get reinstated with the Huntsman
and go back to New York.

You can find out what he's planning
and stop him.

There has to be another way.

-Are you ready for this?
-I hope you know what you're doing.

-Any last requests?
-Just one.

(CROWD CHEERING)

Cool it. Watch it. Coming through.

HUNTSMASTER: And now,
you shall all bear witness

as Huntsgirl and this dragon
fight to the finish!

-Begin!
-(ALL CHEERING)

(BUZZER SOUNDING)

(JAKE GRUNTS)

(ROSE GRUNTS)

-(ROSE YELLS)
-(JAKE GROANS)

(GROANS)

Jake! I mean, cake is what I'll eat
to celebrate the slaying of this dragon.

HUNTSMASTER: Huntsgirl,
what are you waiting for?

Finish him!

(GRUNTING)

Behind the left ear? No!

This dragon is slain!

(ALL CHEERING)

(LAUGHS) That's right.

Now what, Dragon? What you want?

Dude, I would've taken that dragon down
in half the time.

Welcome back, Huntsgirl.

You did this, you evil, two-faced,
dragon-slaying, ninja she-witch!

Spud, remember the lab test
you and Jake failed?

The dragon-slaying potion you made?

Yeah, ours didn't work.

The teacher said that it would only give
a dragon

the temporary appearance of death.

But I don't see how that could
possibly have anything to do

with what's going on now.

-Oh, wait.
-That's right. It was Jake's idea.

He had me whip up
another vial of the potion

and plant it in the dome
before our battle.

We pretended to fight long enough
for him to find it.

SPUD: No way!

I'm sorry I called you an evil, two-faced,
dragon-slaying, ninja she-witch.

That was just...
That was the first thing

that popped into my head.

Actually, the first thing
that popped into my head

was a monkey riding a unicycle.

And then tacos, and...

Apology accepted.

(GASPING)

Did the potion work?
Or, I mean, did it not work?

Jake, welcome back, buddy!

Phew! I've never been so happy
to be bad at school work.

Come on. Time to get you guys
out of here.

(COMPUTER BEEPING)

JAKE: But we still don't know
what the Huntsman's planning.

There isn't time.
I'm starting the teleportation sequence.

Rose, when will I see you...

(MUSIC PLAYING)

Can you believe this over here?

Kyle Wilkins is all that.

SPUD: (GASPS) I don't suppose you ladies
would have any interest in

having a giant kung fu battle
over me, would you?

-(WATER SPLASHING)
-Yeah, just thought I'd check.

GIRL: Hey, stranger, care to dance?

Rose! So you're back?

Back in school. Back with the Huntsman?

I'll do anything I can
to help you stop him.

Awesome! It'll be me and you
fighting side by side.

We can save the world by day
and by night...

The Huntsman will be watching me.

We can't be seen together too much
or we'll both be in danger.

Thank you, Jake, for everything.

Hey, Rose, time for you to trade up
and shake it with the Bradster. Ow!

Aw, man!

JAKE: Okay, so according to Rose,

those two Huntschumps
were so confused when they escaped,

they can't even remember
where Gramps' shop is.

Last she heard,
they were looking on Coney Island.

She hasn't heard from them since.

MAN: Behold, the latest additions to
the Coney Island's Side Show of Freakness,

number 88 and 89!

89: You're just lucky we're behind
these bars, man! Otherwise...

88: I'd be going crazy right now,

-all over this place.
-(CROWD LAUGHING)

I'd be like... (FIGHTING NOISE)
What now, sucker? Huh?

What now, sucker, huh?
What you want? What you want?