American Dragon: Jake Long (2005–2007): Season 2, Episode 29 - Furious Jealousy - full transcript

Spud is after Stacey the cheerleader again, but his love can lead to great dangers.

My name is Jake long,
and I'm the American Dragon.

Only, this is the week I wasn't.
It's kind of a long story.

-Here. I'll show you what I mean.
-(SWISHING)

Guys, I'm over the target.
Trixie, you copy?

Definitely.
You ready to rock 'n' roll, Spud?

♪ He's cool, he's hot
Like the frozen... ♪

-Spud!
-Oh, sorry.

Okay, I've tapped into the 32nd Street

-traffic signal...
-(BEEPING)

which will be turning red
right about...now.

Huh?



-(WESTERN MUSIC PLAYING)
-(SWISHING)

(LAUGHING)

Hey, look, guys.
I'm making the cowboy do a hoedown.

-JAKE AND TRIXIE: Spud!
-Right. More focus.

-(BEEPS)
-(TIRES SCREECH)

Nice work. You guys sure you're down?

This mission could get dangerous.

Boy, please!

Me and Spud will use these hooks
to rappel down...

(SCREAMS)

(GRUNTS)

(BOTH YELLING)

It's official. I've become Spud.

Come on.
If we're gonna intercept this stuff,



it's now or never.

-(CREAKS)
-Whoa.

They're more beautiful
than a school of mermaids.

More valuable than leprechaun gold.

And they're ours.

ALL: Sneak peek at the new yearbooks!

(THEME SONG PLAYING)

♪ He's cool, he's hot like a frozen sun ♪

♪ He's young and fast
He's the chosen one ♪

♪ People, we're not braggin' ♪

♪ He's the American Dragon ♪

♪ He's gonna stop his enemies
with his dragon power ♪

♪ Dragon teeth, dragon tail
Burnin' dragon fire ♪

♪ A real live wire ♪

♪ American Dragon ♪

♪ American Dragon ♪

♪ He's the American Dragon ♪

♪ His skills are gettin' faster ♪

♪ With Grandpa, the master ♪

♪ His destiny, what's up, G? ♪

♪ It's showtime, baby, for the legacy ♪

♪ American Dragon ♪

♪ I'm a dragon, I'm not braggin'
It's my destiny ♪

♪ I'm the magical protector of the NYC ♪

Ya heard?

♪ American Dragon ♪

Yeow!

Only four more days 'til graduation,
and, boy, we are goin' out in style.

Totally. Thanks to Jake's dragonosity,

we got our yearbooks
seven whole hours before everyone else.

Oh! Advance yearbook copy,
how I love your look,

your touch, your smell. (SNIFFS)

-Okay, ew, not your smell.
-(GRUNTING) Stupid yearbook.

What's up, baby Jakie?

You guys notice anything odd

as you were flipping through
our yearbook?

Odd as in Mrs. Merker's mustache
seems to have been

mysteriously airbrushed out?

JAKE: Odd as in
there were no memories of me!

I'm nowhere in here.

So why weren't you around?

I mean, where were you
on class picture day?

Yeah, and class ditch day?

And the eighth grade midnight masquerade?

Let's see. Saving the city
from the Huntsman,

saving the city from
a gang of hobgoblins,

and saving the city from an evil wizard
with bad sleeping habits.

(SIGHS) Guys,
middle school's over in four days,

and thanks to dragon business,
I've totally missed out.

Chin up, bro. Come on.

Things have mellowed
on the magical front, right?

I mean, as long as they stay that way,
you'll still be able to partake

of the yearbook signings,
the karaoke event...

Caroline's and Carmine's
make-fun-of-Rotwood party.

Yeah. Maybe you're right.

Okay. Starting right now,

I'm gonna juice every minute
of middle school for all it's...

-(CELL PHONE CHIMING)
-FU: Jake, come to Grandpa's shop!

There is a critical dragon emergency!

...worth.

Gramps, what's the emergency?

-It was only a test.
-(CLOCK TICKING)

HALEY: Wow. Jake's response time
was over 12 minutes.

I composed my first symphony
in just under nine. You wanna hear it?

Dragon business may be slow, young one,
but that is no excuse for laziness,

especially since Fu Dog and I are leaving
tonight for our dragon council retreat.

FU: Oh, yeah.

Me, the old man, and a bunch of stiffs
talkin' dragon politics for three days.

Somebody pass the limbo stick.

No, really, pass it to me.
I wanna whack myself senseless with it.

Jake, while your grandfather's away,
you'll be training with me and Haley.

Won't that be groovy?

You shall spend the week
with Sun and Haley,

reviewing 2,000 years
of dragon council bylaws.

Aw, come on, G.
It's the last week of middle school.

Graduation's on Friday.

Can't I just get a few days to hang
with my peeps and, you know, chill?

Young dragon,
your magical responsibilities

must not be overshadowed
by chilling and hanging with peeps.

You don't see Fu Dog trying to get out
of his magical dut...

Fu Dog, hands off the limbo stick!

You take all the fun. You know that?

Sorry I'm late, coach! I overslept and...

Uh, did I miss something?

Only my hi-larious scheme

which resulted in Stacey
being my graduation partner.

(SING-SONGY) Hilarious!

And Kyle picked me to walk down
the graduation aisle with him,

the Kyle Wilkins.
Have I mentioned that he is fine...

ALL: Like lemon-lime in the summertime.

-Ah...
-Wait. We get to pick graduation partners?

Yeah. Well, uh, Rotwood made
the announcement this morning,

so we all picked,
and you kinda just missed it.

What? No fair! I was up late
dragon-training, and I overslept, and...

And... And did somebody pick
Danika Honeycut, cause I was hoping...

Sorry, Jakie, but all the girls
have already been spoken for.

Well, not every girl.

Jake, meet resusci-Patty,

the school's CPR training dummy.

Okay, I know she's not much to look at,
but she cleans up real nice.

I can't take it anymore!

The never-ending dragon-training,
the complete lack of a social life,

and now my only possible graduation
partner is a stupid CPR dummy?

Words hurt, Jake.
Plug your ear holes resusci-kins.

Guys, I need a break
from being the Am-drag.

Not forever, not even a month,
just a week.

Is that so much to ask?

Oh, sorry, Jakie. But I'm guessing
the job of American Dragon

didn't exactly come with vacation days.

Maybe not, but there's gotta be
something I can do to catch a break.

BRAD: Attention, fellow Filmorians.

Thanks to the fine folks
at Murray's Gag Shop,

the Bradster's fourth annual
end-of-eighth-grade prank

is about to splat into action.

It looks like an ordinary
desserty treat on the outside,

but when Rotwood cuts into it...

-(EXPLOSION)
-Kablam!

And as long as you little potty-squatters
keep your traps shut,

he'll never find out it's me.

So Brad's suspended?

You call the whole class
"potty-squatters," someone's bound to rat.

SPUD: Poor Rotwood.

Who knew cake could do that
to a man's face?

You know, I never understood
the whole suspension thing.

You do something bad
and your punishment

is that you don't have to go
to school for a week?

Yeah, it really doesn't make...

Hold up. I just figured out how to get
my normal life back.

Spud, you're a genius.

HALEY: I found it.
Section 8, Subsection 14, Paragraph "B."

"Behavior deemed irresponsible
by the dragon council

"shall result in the immediate suspension
of all dragon powers and responsibilities

for the duration of one week." Wait.

You're not considering...
I'm calling Grandpa.

And pass up being
the American Dragon for a week?

I don't... Pass a drag... What, now?

You do know that you're next in line

if I'm deemed unfit
to perform my Am Drag duties, right?

M... M... Me?

As in "American Dragon Haley Long"?

HALEY:
♪ I'm gonna stop my enemies ♪

♪ With my dragon power ♪

♪ Dragon teeth, dragon tail
Burnin' dragon fire ♪

♪ A real live wire ♪

MAN:
♪ American Dragon ♪

♪ American Dragon ♪

So lay it on me, Jake.
How are we getting you suspended?

Thanks, Hales, but I got it covered.

MAN: Look, councilors. How thoughtful.
The American Dragon sent us a cake.

-Who'd like a slice?
-(EXPLOSION)

Look, really,
I'm sorry about the cake accident.

I thought it'd be a nice gesture,
but I must have put in...

I don't know, too much baking soda?

-Aiya.
-Poor councilor Kukulkhan.

I've never seen cake do that
to a man's face.

Per the Dragon Council bylaws,

we have no choice
but to officially suspend you

from the Dragon Order
for the period of one week.

I am sorry.

(GASPS)

For the next seven days,

Haley Long will step up
as the new American Dragon.

Wow. I'm actually human.
This is gonna be...

Awesome! That, my friend,
is the only way to describe the power

of what we are about to
unleash upon the world.

Right. You know what word is more
awesome than "awesome"?

"Bangers." (CHUCKLES)

Or we's could stick with "awesome."

Once our spell is complete,

all humankind shall bow
before their new masters,

and no one, not even the American Dragon,
will stop us. (LAUGHS EVILLY)

(CACKLING) Awesome!

Eh, just hasn't got the same ring.

Here you go, Haley. Your new
American Dragon training schedule.

A cell phone so I can alert you
when there's a magical emergency.

And this is Madge,
the motivational unicorn,

for when things get stressful.

(SQUEAKS) You're special.

Oh, Sun, I'm Haley,
the new and improved American Dragon.

I grind up stress for breakfast
and sprinkle it on my oatmeal.

Unlike Jake, I will not
be letting anyone down.

Gramps, I'm really sorry
I let you down.

I just don't understand
how this could've happened.

Bad recipe, I guess.

But trust me, I'm gonna spend
these next few days as a powerless human

reflecting on the carelessness
of my actions.

My name is principal Rotwood,
and I believe in pixies and fairies,

and I dance a mean Schuhplattler.

-(SCATTING)
-(ALL LAUGHING)

Dude, this is the best
make-fun-of-Rotwood party ever!

-Oh, that's great!
-BOY: Jake's Rotwood impression rocks!

(GRUNTING)

-Ta-da!
-Oh, Haley, that was perfect.

Now I just need you to do the same thing
perfectly 199 more times.

♪ Yo, East Coast!
There's a party over here ♪

-♪ Got some kicks on my feet ♪
-♪ And some rhymes in my ear ♪

ALL: What?

-(MICROPHONE FEEDBACK)
-(ALL CHEERING)

(SCHOOL BELL RINGING)

What? But, Ms. Birch,
I've never been tardy my whole life.

I was up late last night with my dragon...

I mean, gagging problems.

'Cause I ate some...rotten tacos. Ugh!

Sun, are you sure this qualifies
as a magical emergency?

I mean, if that annoying troll woman

was careless enough to flush
her wedding ring down the drain,

shouldn't she be the one
down here looking for it?

(SIGHS, INHALES DEEPLY)

BOY: Yo, Jake!

-Great impression of Rotwood other day.
-You're so funny.

Hey, man, let's hang later, okay?

Seriously, I don't know
how this week can get any better.

-(BOTH GRUNT)
-Hey, Danika.

I, uh... I haven't seen you around
much since...

Since we went out and you freaked out?

Yeah. Did I mention I was sorry?

About 263 times.

For what it's worth, I started
forgiving you somewhere in the 240s.

(BELL RINGS)

I, uh, need to go talk to Rotwood.

Since Brad got suspended,
I'm kinda graduation partnerless.

What? Me, too. Why don't we...

Well, you know, go together?

You and me? Uh, I don't know.

Listen, I had a lot of stuff going on
back when we were hanging out,

but all that's behind me now.
Come on.

You and me, one night.

No flakiness. What do you say?

Well, considering that my choices are
between you and resusci-Billy,

I'd have to say you're definitely
the better option.

-So it's a date?
-A date it is.

You know, little man, it's almost like
graduation's got some kind of

cosmic calming effect on you.
I have never seen you so relaxed.

Whew! Haley, on the other hand...

(SQUEAKING) You're special.
You're special. You're special.

Honey, are you okay?

We had a test at school today.

I didn't have time to study, and I fai...

Failed! There, I said it.

What's wrong? Can't handle
the pressures of being the Am Drag?

What? No.
It's just a minor adjustment period.

-I'll be fine. (CHUCKLES) Really. I...
-(CELL PHONE CHIMING)

-Hello?
-SUN: Haley, Chang is on the move.

I need you to meet me
at Magus Bazaar immediately.

What?

Uh, sure thing, old man Witherspoon.

I'll pick up some of that bunion cream,
and I'll be over lickety-split. (CHUCKLES)

My, um, adopt-a-senior.
Don't wait up.

Bangers!
Now, that's what I call an entrance.

Quickly, my pet. Find me hydra scales
and a Phoenix feather,

and our spell will be nearly complete.

And while you're at it, how about
I impede your forward progress instantly?

(GRUNTING)

Good one, Haley. But we really need to
work on your entrance lines.

(BOTH GRUNTING)

So Jake Long sent little sis and
her dragon master to do his dirty work.

In contrast,
defeating you both won't be work at all.

Come on, come on. (GASPS) Bangers!

Hydra scales and a Phoenix feather.
I's got it.

Oh, no, you don't, simian.

-(GRUNTING)
-Get off me!

HALEY: Move over!

BANANAS B: Essence of Troll, eh?

-Let's see what this does.
-(GASPS)

(BOTH GRUNTING)

(PANTING) Yo, changy Chang,
we's got the goods.

-Let's blow this crib.
-(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING)

The important thing is
that you are both okay.

Okay? You call this okay?

Not only did I let Chang get away,
I got a troll face!

Aw, come on, Haley. You look cute.

(GRUNTS) I mean, you know,
you look precious.

(GRUNTS) Oh, who are we kiddin'?

Your face looks like your neck threw up.
On the plus side,

Essence of Troll usually wears off
in a couple of...

Oh, boy. Hey, Sun,

what ingredients did you say
Chang escaped with?

Hydra scales and a Phoenix feather. Why?

Well, according to this journal,
those two things are the key ingredients

in a spell that will bring the dark dragon
back to power.

"And with the drop of a Phoenix feather,

"the dragon of darkness shall rise
from the ashes." I know that spell.

But for it to be complete,
she'll need something else.

The ch'i of the American Dragon.

It says here a drop of blood would work,
too, but she really avoids the ick factor.

But why didn't she come after me
when she had the chance?

Well, because as far as she knows, kid,
the American Dragon isn't you, it's...

Jake, hey, they handed out
caps and gowns early,

so I picked yours up for you.

-I hope that's all right.
-Uh, yeah.

Hard to believe
we're graduating tonight, huh?

Yeah, it's kinda sad.

But at the same time,
it's nice to finally close that chapter

and move on to something new.
Know what I mean?

I know exactly what you mean.

-See you in a couple of hours?
-Wouldn't miss it for the world.

CHANG: Tsk-tsk, Mr. Long.

Hasn't anyone taught you it's rude
to make promises you can't keep?

Chang? Dragon u...

Aw, man!

(GRUNTS)

According to your mother,
Jake should have been home hours ago.

We found his backpack on the sidewalk.
Chang must've already gotten to him.

This is all my fault.

I had the chance to stop him from pulling
that prank on the council, and now...

-Oh, look. Azaleas are in bloom.
-Jake!

Jake ditched his American Dragon duties
on purpose?

Aiya. (SPEAKING CANTONESE)

Of all the immature self-serving...

Hey, when was the last time
either of you were the American Dragon?

Well, as the little troll girl
currently filling the position,

let me tell you. It's stinking hard!

I can't imagine doing it two more days,
let alone two more years.

And to think about everything
Jake's gone through!

He's had to save magical creatures
on a daily basis,

lie to his own dad about who he is,
say goodbye to the girl he loved,

all to protect a mystical world
that nobody knows about.

He may be the American Dragon,

but he's also a 14-year-old kid
who just wanted a couple days off.

If that makes him immature,
fine, but self-serving?

With all due respect to both of you,
step off!

Heh. I crossed the line
with that "step off" part, didn't I?

Sun, you and Haley track down Chang
and rescue Jake.

But, Lao Shi, what about you?

I have something to take care of.

-(CRACKLING)
-(BANANAS B CHATTERING)

(GRUNTING)

Yo, Chang, nothing personal,
but I kinda got someplace to be.

-So, if you don't mind...
-Silence!

These chains are reinforced
with sphinx hair, rendering you powerless.

In the meantime,
the ch'i of the American Dragon is mine.

(PULSATING)

Yo, changity Chang,
say the magic words.

And with the drop of a Phoenix feather,

the dragon of darkness
shall rise from the ashes!

(CRACKLING)

Okay. Not a bad show,

but the ending's not really
living up to the hype.

-Can I go now?
-Silence!

Why didn't the spell work?

Wait. Jake's ch'i
should have taken dragon form.

What are you sayin' then,
he's not a dragon?

'Cause that would mean...

That you answer to me. Ya heard?

(GRUNTING)

Haley! Ugh! What happened to your face?

-(CELL PHONE RINGING)
-Never mind. Cover me for a sec.

It's what I do. (YELLS)

-(ORCHESTRAL MUSIC PLAYING)
-Yo, Jakie, where are you?

Graduation's about to start,
and Danika's been asking about you.

Running a little late,
but hey, it's what I do.

-You and Spud cool to...
-Cover for you?

Hey, baby, it's what we do.

Hey, yo! Stop the music!

Give a warm welcome
to Arthur Spudinski and his, uh...

-Comedy stylings.
-Whah! I ca... I, uh...

Oh! Hey, uh...

(ARMPIT FARTING)

(BOTH GRUNTING)

Sun Park, I thought you were all about
peace and love.

And what I'd really love
is to give you a piece of this!

-Whoa!
-BOTH: Sun!

So I'm thinking Jake Long
is no longer the American Dragon.

And since little sister is next in line,

that would mean you've got
something I want.

Leave her alone, Chang!

-(GRUNTS)
-Pathetic human.

Who are you to tell me what to do?

GRAMPS: His name is Jake Long,

and he is the American Dragon.

(GRUNTS)

My dragon ch'i.

But, Gramps, how did you...

An early graduation gift from
the dragon council. You've earned it.

How very touching.
Unfortunately, that ch'i is mine.

No worries, Chang. I will save you.

-Not today, monkey. (YELLS)
-(GRUNTS)

Out of my way, you bloody troll girl.

(GRUNTS, YELLS)

Jake, look out!

Yow!

-(YELLS)
-(SCREECHING)

You know what, Chang?
Being the American Dragon kind of rocks.

Oh! And speaking of rocks...

-Wha... No!
-(BANANAS B SCREECHING)

GRAMPS: As I've said before,
and will surely say many times to come,

well done, young dragon.

Gramps, listen.
There's something I need to tell you.

About the cake accident, I...

It wasn't an accident.
I know, and as a punishment,

I'm cutting your dragon-training
in half this summer.

Listen, I totally under...
(STAMMERS) What now?

Jake, I train you hard because
I know the enemies you have to face.

But at the same time,
you're only 14 years old.

You deserve some time
to chill and hang with your peeps.

And there's no reason
why Haley can't fill in from time to time.

She did a great job this week.

-I did?
-You most certainly did.

But a quick piece of advice,
stay away from Essence of Troll.

Come, young dragon.
We have a graduation to attend.

JAKE: So there you have it,
the week I wasn't the American Dragon.

That night at graduation,
I got to thinking.

Being human was a wake-up call.

Sure there have been some tough times,

but having magical powers
has kind of rocked.

And not just in a saving-the-people-
I-care-about kind of way,

but in a cool,
everyday kind of way, too.

-(CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING)
-I mean, don't get me wrong,

having a secret double life is
always gonna be a balancing act.

But with the help
of my friends and family...

Way to go, Jakers!

...I know I can totally face
anything life throws at me.

(OWL HOOTING)

(BLADE SWISHING)

-(RUMBLING)
-(ZAPPING)

(ROARING)

FU: Today we all got to hear
Jake's deepest, most personal thoughts,

thanks to an ingenious
little device called voice-over.

So I was thinkin', why not use voice-over
to let you, the viewer,

hear my deepest, most personal thoughts?
Huh? Huh?

(CLEARS THROAT) Okay, here goes.

(MUMBLING)

Wait. There's more.

(MUMBLING)

And then pièce de résistance.

(MUMBLING)

What were you expectin', Socrates?
I'm a dog, for cryin' out sakes.

(MUMBLING)