American Dragon: Jake Long (2005–2007): Season 2, Episode 28 - Game On - full transcript
TRIXIE: "Halloween dance,"
only the teachers dress up...
"50s Sock Hop"
More like a stinky foot hop...
-What do you think, Jakey?
-(MUNCHES)
Were you saying something?
Oh, I don't know. I couldn't hear myself
through the crackle-smackin'
snack attackin'!
Sorry, but you gotta try this new place,
"Der Fry Hut."
These "Flamin' Crisperitos" are so spicy,
I have to blow fire
just to cool my mouth... (SIGHS)
As student body co-president,
the eyes of Fillmore are on me
to come up with an original theme
for the next school dance.
-I mean, we've done it all.
-(DOOR OPENS)
-SPUD: Not quite all.
-(TRUMPETS FANFARE)
JAKE: Cool, lollipops.
I could use some dessert
to cap off my Der Fry Hut goodness...
Ah-da-da-da!
This is a diorama of a dance
honoring a seasonal event
that has been overlooked far too long,
the first-ever "Daylight Savings Time
Dance and Fitness Expo."
You are not about to tell me
that's the gym.
And why is the cheerleader doll kissing
a potato in your little freak fest?
Potato? Spud?
BOTH: Stacey!
That's what all this is about,
abusing your co-presidential powers
for a love connection.
What good are presidential powers
if you can't use them to get girls?
Besides, you guys know I haven't had
much luck convincing Stacey
that she likes me...
-Hi, Stacey!
-Ew.
-Hi, Stacey!
-Ew.
-Hi, Stacey!
-Ew.
So, why would Stacey say "yes"
to you this time?
Hence, the brilliance of
the "Daylight Savings Time Dance
and Fitness Expo."
Two things Stacey loves:
daylight and fitness.
I've got it all planned to
the smallest detail.
Wait a minute, where are Jakey and I
in your little whacked-out world?
Oh, you're right over... Hey,
where are the gingerbread cookies?
(MUNCHING), (SWALLOWS)
-Oh, sorry. Was this you?
-(SIGHS) Hmm.
(THEME SONG PLAYING)
♪ He's cool, he's hot like a frozen sun ♪
♪ He's young and fast
He's the chosen one ♪
♪ People, we're not braggin' ♪
♪ He's the American Dragon ♪
♪ He's gonna stop his enemies
with his dragon power ♪
♪ Dragon teeth, dragon tail,
burnin' dragon fire ♪
♪ A real live wire ♪
♪ American Dragon ♪
♪ American Dragon ♪
♪ He's the American Dragon ♪
♪ His skills are getting faster ♪
♪ With Grandpa, the master ♪
♪ His destiny, what's up, G? ♪
♪ It's show time, baby, for the legacy ♪
♪ American Dragon ♪
♪ I'm a dragon, I'm not braggin'
It's my destiny ♪
♪ I'm the magical protector of the NYC ♪
Ya heard?
♪ American Dragon ♪
Yeow!
That's your lunch,
chocolate sauce on tortilla chips?
Choco-Nachos.
Another delicacy from Der Fry Hut.
(CHOMPS)
What is up with your chow choices lately?
Shouldn't the American Dragon
stay in shape?
Yeah, if there's something to
stay in shape for.
Dragon business has been slow for weeks.
Even Gramps took time off for
his annual meditation retreat to Tibet.
(DISCO MUSIC PLAYING)
I figure if he's taking a break,
I can take a break from
all this diet and training.
Sort of my "tummer" vacation.
Oh, lighten up, Trix.
I wouldn't be on the Chowtown Expressway
unless I was positive
nothing was going down
in the magical world.
(OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYS)
(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS)
(GASPS) (COUGHS)
Oh, why is it so hard
to make a mascara that won't run
after you've been stuck in stone
for a couple of months?
Oh, sphinx, my power bracelet's broken.
Ugh, my sisters are so gonna get
their snakes in a bunch
if I don't break them free.
SPUD: There she is.
Okay, time to put my perfect plan
into place.
Wait. I've gotta practice
asking her out one more time.
You wrote a script?
Dude, just be yourself.
Trixie, would you go out with me
if I was just myself?
Do the script.
Afternoon, all.
-Yo.
-Hey, Nigel.
Come on, Jake. Final test run.
Okay. You be Stacey. (CLEARS THROAT)
"Stacey, I know how much you enjoy
daylight and fitness...
"So, would you like to go to
"the Daylight Savings Time Dance
and Fitness Expo with me?"
(INAUDIBLE)
Oh, no... I'm sorry, Spud.
No, no, no, you don't turn me down.
Stick to the script.
Oh, and do it in a girly voice, like this,
(HIGH-PITCHED)
"Spud, I would love to go out with you."
Uh, I think there might be
a character missing in your script.
(BRITISH ACCENT) In short,
I would be honored to share
the dawning of Daylight Savings Time
with a date
whose brilliance rivals the sun itself.
'Kay.
(SCREAMS) No!
(JAKE CHOMPING)
You sure you don't want some licorice?
I'll untie a couple of feet for you.
There's not enough candy in the world
to take away the bitterness
I'm destined to taste the rest of my life.
I feel for you, bro... Root beer?
-(CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS)
-What was that?
This is the "before" picture.
If I'm organizing
a dance and a fitness expo,
I need to show my fellow Fillmorians
what diet and exercise can do for them.
So, as of right now,
I'm turning this garbage disposal off.
Trix, stop trippin'.
It's just a little harmless snackin'.
I was making you guys
friendship necklaces.
SPUD: Look at them, so perfect.
Like one of those pictures
that comes in the frame when you buy it.
Look, Spud, you need to ask yourself,
"Is Stacey really worth it?"
Uh, Spud?
Shh! I'm asking myself...
Okay, got it!
Yep, turns out, she is worth it.
-What?
-No way!
Thanks, guys.
And I know what you're
going to say next. Fight for her.
-What?
-No way!
And you're right again.
I will prove to Stacey
that Nigel Thrall is no match
for the romance of Arthur P. Spudinski.
(SIGHS) Why can't I learn
that rhetorical questions don't work
with this one?
-Maybe it's because...
-Or you...
-(SNIFFS)
-GIRLS: Aw!
(HORSE NEIGHS)
Ahhh!
My fair Stacey,
I come to whisk thee away
on my mighty steed
to a storybook ball in the gym.
Hey, kid. You're supposed to
pet the animals,
not take 'em for a joyride.
Okay.
Plan B...
(ROLLS TONGUE)
(IN SPANISH ACCENT)
Senorita, my dance of passion for you.
By wizard's cloak, become poison oak.
SPUD: (BELCHES) Ahhh! (SPITS)
Yup, Spud. It looks like poison oak.
Well, that explains the itchies.
(GROANS)
Look, Spud. This time,
we're not asking you to ask yourself
if Stacey's worth it.
We're telling you... she's not.
I can't believe my romantic skills
didn't send her into my arms.
And I can't believe I didn't see Nigel's
scratch-acadabra spell coming.
A spell... that's it!
That's why she's into him.
He must've cast some kind
of "likeus-Nigelus-notus-Spudus."
Or you're-jus'-jealous-ridiculous.
I demandus justice!
We'll fight magic with magic!
Jake, help me out here, bro, come on.
-(AMERICAN DRAGON MUSIC RINGTONE)
-Sorry, Spud. It's Fu. I'm out.
And you better not stop
at Der Fry Hut on the way!
JAKE: Mmm.
Our grunion-formants report that
one of the Gorgon sisters has escaped
-from her stone prison.
-(SWALLOWS)
Hey, Detective, want a fish taco,
or is that just weird?
Kid, give your choppers a break
so you can hear Detective Derceto.
She's trying to warn us about Fury.
Fury's out? I'd better back off the junk.
-It's all yours, Fu.
-Na-uh!
When you hit 600 years old
like I have, kid,
you can't eat like you did
in your two hundreds.
(CHOMPS)
Fortunately, we found her broken bracelet
at the bottom of the harbor.
Without it, she'll be unable
to free her sisters, Medusa and Euryale.
Unfortunately, Fury can regain
her full powers
if she finds
another Phoenician snake bracelet...
like this little baby
we've been keeping safe in the vault.
So, you're saying we've
got it under control, right?
I can get back to my food-apalooza?
(CHOMPS) Mmm.
You must be careful, Jake.
Fury will go to any lengths
to get another bracelet.
WINIFRED: Phoenician snake bracelet, huh?
Oh, let me check with my suppliers.
Ah, here's one.
Oh, it's at Lao Shi's on Canal Street.
He'll never give it up.
That old goat's a pack rat.
Uh, just a minute, please.
The American Dragon's grandfather?
Yeah. Look, it's been a slow week.
Why don't you pick out
a couple of yeti bone bracelets...
-...from our clearance table?
-(DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES)
Uh, hi. I'm looking for some kind of
love spell un-doer.
Preferably in a bubble gum flavor.
I'm sorry. Are you a warlock
or a wizard or...
Could I see some ID?
Oh, uh, I'm not magically-inclined,
but my best friend is.
You probably know him,
the American Dragon?
I think that's all the ID I need.
SPUD: Whoa... Oh!
I also have a very identifiable birthmark
between my...
(CHUCKLES) Hi, excuse me.
I, uh, I couldn't help overhearing.
-You need a spell removed?
-(HISSES)
Uh, aren't you Fury?
Ahhh... Please don't hurt me!
(LAUGHS) Oh, gosh. No, no, no.
You're thinking of the old Fury.
I've changed.
I mean, when you're stuck in stone,
like I was,
you have time to realize
the error of your ways.
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
Okay, um, good luck with that.
Adios... Whoa!
Oh, you don't trust me.
It's okay, nobody does.
That's why I'm out trying to
prove to the world,
one good deed at a time,
that this Gorgon has gor-gone-good.
What's your problem? Maybe I can help.
Well, um. There's this guy.
He put a spell on a cheerleader
I was gonna ask to
the Daylight Savings Time Dance
and Fitness Expo.
-He just slithered in and...
-Okay, okay, I get it!
So, how about I just make her like you?
-Like me or...
-Like like you.
I, like, like likey!
Okay, so what do you need for the magic,
a lock of Stacey's hair?
I have a collection that's cross-indexed
by date and shampoo smell...
Actually, (CHUCKLES) funny story.
I'm having a smidge
of a power fizzle-out right now.
What I could really use is
a special bracelet to restore my power.
Really? I don't know where
to get something like that.
-I'll tell you where.
-But I don't know what it looks like.
-I'll tell you what it looks like.
-Okay. Can I tell my friends?
No, it's a secret!
Oh, this would be easier with a monkey.
(CHOMPING)
Oh, caramel corn, huh?
It looks... so... tasty.
(BURPS) It was,
but there are a lot of un-popped kernels.
Yeah, what a... waste.
Hold on.
-(POPPING)
-(DROOLS) I'm weak!
There, I said it. Race ya to the bottom.
(CHOMPS)
-Huh?
-TRIXIE: Reach for it again...
...and I'll take your hand off
with a rice cake.
Aw, man.
Come to Fu Dog, my caramel love.
(CHOMPS)
(GAGS)
This is how you're protecting
the bracelet?
Why don't we just put it in
the front window?
It's the perfect hiding place.
Fury is so into herself,
she'd never touch caramel corn.
Too fattening.
Hey, guys. I just happened to be
passing by and I was thinking,
"Wow, Gramps sure has a ton of cool,
magical gear around the shop."
You got your crystals, potions, gadgets...
Hmm, what else? (EXHALES)
What am I missing?
(MOAN) Keep an eye on him.
We've got enough broken stuff around here.
I'm gonna find a place to stash this.
Hmm...
I love... I mean, like you, Spud.
Like like you.
Uh, you're looking for
a place to keep your bracelet?
Well, uh, how about my house?
(LAUGHS NERVOUSLY)
That has to be most lame-brained,
idiotic...
uh, brilliant idea
I've ever heard from you, Spudinski.
-It is?
-BOTH: It is?
Yep. When you're looking for
the great powers of
the ancient Phoenicians,
you don't exactly start with Spud.
You take care of that
and I'll take care of this.
Okay, Spud.
Let's get this over to your house.
Uh, it's cool. (CHUCKLING)
I can handle it.
Another good idea, Spud.
That way Jakey and I can stay here
and prepare a junk-food-free menu
he can stick to between now
and the Fitness Expo,
where his "after" body will be
an inspiration to the student body.
Ahhh, yes, yes, yes!
I can feel the power
coursing through my snakes.
(LAUGHS WICKEDLY)
(LAUGHS WICKEDLY)
We're laughing 'cause I'm gonna take
Stacey away from Nigel, right? (CHUCKLES)
(LAUGHS LOUDER)
Cool!
-(SPUD HUMMING)
-Hey, Spud.
-You haven't seen Trixie, have you?
-Nope.
Good, 'cause I got
a slice of apple pie in here
that kept me awake
all through history... Huh?
"Here's your apple, minus the pie."
Aw, man...
Check it out, bro. This'll cheer you up.
You're actually breaking up with me?
What about the dance?
People's tongues will wag on about us.
Say again?
It means they'll gossip.
(GIGGLES) I don't care what it means.
I just like hearing the way you talk.
So, bye, I guess.
That doesn't make me feel better.
-Yeah, but it makes me feel great.
-Hmm...
"Meet me in the janitor's closet at noon."
Excellent!
Uh, hi. Sorry I'm late.
You didn't say which janitor's closet.
(CHUCKLES)
Look, I woke up this morning,
and I was, thinking about all that stuff
you were, like, doing for me yesterday.
And I think I kinda, like, like you.
Like, like like you.
(GAG) Sorry, instinct.
My body's trying to, like, reject you.
Anyway, we should, like, hang sometime.
Really? Okay. Well, how about now?
Yeah, uh, that's the thing.
We can, like, do stuff,
but only if nobody actually,
like, sees us together.
Totally... Why?
Well, we both have reputations
and I really want to keep mine.
Yeah. Yours is good.
So, um... I gotta get to class,
and, um... I know this is awkward, but...
Could you wait 20 minutes
before you leave?
Uh-huh, yeah, I can do that.
(GAGS) Bye.
(SIGHS) Thank you, Fury. Thank you.
Well done, my burly minions.
You've reunited me with my sisters.
Now, before I release you
from my mind control,
bring back three large mocha lattes.
And don't forget the biscotti!
(GROANS) I can't believe
Fury took so long.
Yeah. She knows we hate waiting for her.
Hello. (LAUGHS) I'm right here.
You ungrateful little...
Okay, okay. We can't fight
if we're going to take over the world.
Thank you.
Now, before we start our life
of world domination,
first things first...
We destroy the American Dragon!
(LAUGHS WICKEDLY)
What a drama queen.
(INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING)
I can't believe Spud's not here to help.
This whole thing was his idea.
Cut him a break, Trix.
Not getting his chance with Stacey
was a pretty big blow.
He's probably not going to show up.
(LAUGHS) Well, that just means
more work for you.
Now, dragon up
and fly these streamers over there.
Sure... Dragon up!
(STRAINS)
(GROANS), (GASPING)
You've been crunch creepin', haven't you?
Uh, I was just holding that for Fu.
Danger isn't gonna wait for you
to get back into shape.
And by danger, I mean Fury.
She doesn't know where I am. And besides,
she's powerless without that bracelet,
which is safely stashed in Spud's crib.
-FURY: (LAUGHS MANIACALLY)
-(BOTH GASP)
(TRIXIE GASPS)
(GRUNTS)
...Or not.
Oh, look, girls, the American Dragon.
(CHUCKLES) Hello, tubby.
Have you put on a few pounds?
It's all muscle
and I'm gonna give
the three of you beat-downs to prove it.
(STRAINING) You're in... for it... now...
Ahhh! (GRUNTS)
Yee-aa!
-(CRASHES)
-(GROANS)
(GRUNTS)
Uh-oh.
MEDUSA: (STRAINING) He's so heavy.
-FURY: I thought he put on weight.
-Ew, I broke a nail.
FURY: Don't listen to me.
I told you guys we should've
turned him into stone
closer to the harbor.
Oh, Jakey.
-(HUMS)
-TRIXIE: Spud!
We got a 9-1-1.
Fury and her sisters just took Jake.
Fury? No, it can't be.
She lied.
-Who lied?
-Fury tricked me.
She said she wanted to turn good
and if I helped her she'd help me.
Help you, how?
Hey, watch where you're standing, creep!
I baked you cookies.
They're behind the dumpster.
(CHUCKLE SUSPICIOUSLY)
You made a deal with Fury
to get with that?
I'm sorry, but I think I know
who can save Jake.
You thought I had Stacey under a spell?
Ha, please.
Why would do do that
when I have my British charm
and rugged good looks?
So, you really didn't do
some like-us-Nigel-us on her?
Stupid, stupid, stupid!
No worries, chap.
She broke up with me anyway.
Uh, about that...
I kinda had some mind-control help,
but if you help me save Jake,
you'll be back with Stacey, lickety-split.
(ALL STRAINING)
(COUGHS) I think your wand is due
for a smog check.
Looks like the snake wenches are
about to drop the dragon in the drink.
(STRAINING)
Excuse me. What do you think you're doing?
Uh, I don't really know...
Okay, something weird is going on here.
Hurry, ladies, we have evil to spread.
And then shoe shopping,
definitely shoe shopping.
(ALL STRAINING)
Spud, keep the Gorgons occupied.
No problemo.
Somebody owes me an explanation-o.
Fury, you lied to me.
You're not good.
Uh, who's that?
The heartbroken sap I used
to get another bracelet.
Let me turn him to stone.
(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS)
(ALL SCREAM)
SPUD: Jake! Oh, no!
No!
Another one?
This one's mine.
You might want to save your energy
for the beat-down
the American Dragon about to give you.
Yeah! Can you put me down first?
(SPUD SCREAMS)
Let's start off
with a shrimp cocktail. (GRUNTS)
-Disgusting!
-Ew!
That boy has got to get himself
back in shape.
Enough of this. Let's finish him.
Whoa! Whoa!
No... energy... can't...
Huh? Where did this come from?
NIGEL: You're welcome, Long.
(JAKE GRUNTS)
What? Hey!
(GASPS)
Thanks for the mask, Nigel.
No worries, but what about Fury?
She still has that bracelet.
Let her go. I'll deal with her later,
after I lighten my load a little.
Where'd she get that bracelet, anyway?
It couldn't have been the one
from Grandpa's shop
'cause Spud hid that one at his house.
Right, Spud?
I'm sorry, sorry, sorry...
SPUD: Sorry, sorry.
JAKE: You can stop apologizing, Spud.
You're right, I'm sorry.
I want you guys to know
that I promise to never, ever
let jealousy get the better of me again.
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I owe Nigel a cheerleader.
While we're spreading
the "I'm sorrys" all around here,
don't you have something
you need to say to me?
Yeah. I've gotta stay in shape.
Good-bye junk food
and welcome home healthy eating.
And exercising?
Whatever you say.
Good, 'cause dancing's great exercise.
Look, I know you snapped out of liking me,
so you don't have to dump me.
Just go ahead and be with Nigel.
Okay, I know who I like, potato boy.
And I told you, it's, like, you.
(GAGS) You're just gonna have
to get used to him, tummy!
It's okay, Stace.
You don't have to act like that anymore
because you're not being mind-con...
Wait, you really like me?
Fury lied about this, too?
(HIGH-PITCHED) Awesome!
I heard you planned this dance for me.
Yeah. Stupid, huh?
Well, are we going to dance or not?
Heck, yeah, we are!
Hello, I can't be seen with you.
Oh, uh, right.
(SLOW INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING)
-(BANGING ON DOOR)
-JAKE: Spud, are you in there?
Man, who cares
if it didn't work out with Stacey?
You don't have to hide.
TRIXIE: Yeah, she doesn't deserve you.
She ain't even much of a cheerleader.
Check out her no-rhythm booty up
on top of a pyramid.
JAKE: Yo, Spud, better dry your eyes
and come out, Rotwood's coming.
JAKE: (AS MR. ROTWOOD) Mark my word, Spud,
come out of there
or you will be suspended.
Schnucken, hosen...
JAKE: Okay, that was still me,
but, seriously,
the mops are in there
and we just wanna clean up and go home.
-TRIXIE: Spudinski!
-Spud, come on, man!
-(BANGING ON DOOR CONTINUES)
-TRIXIE: (FURIOUSLY) SPUD!
only the teachers dress up...
"50s Sock Hop"
More like a stinky foot hop...
-What do you think, Jakey?
-(MUNCHES)
Were you saying something?
Oh, I don't know. I couldn't hear myself
through the crackle-smackin'
snack attackin'!
Sorry, but you gotta try this new place,
"Der Fry Hut."
These "Flamin' Crisperitos" are so spicy,
I have to blow fire
just to cool my mouth... (SIGHS)
As student body co-president,
the eyes of Fillmore are on me
to come up with an original theme
for the next school dance.
-I mean, we've done it all.
-(DOOR OPENS)
-SPUD: Not quite all.
-(TRUMPETS FANFARE)
JAKE: Cool, lollipops.
I could use some dessert
to cap off my Der Fry Hut goodness...
Ah-da-da-da!
This is a diorama of a dance
honoring a seasonal event
that has been overlooked far too long,
the first-ever "Daylight Savings Time
Dance and Fitness Expo."
You are not about to tell me
that's the gym.
And why is the cheerleader doll kissing
a potato in your little freak fest?
Potato? Spud?
BOTH: Stacey!
That's what all this is about,
abusing your co-presidential powers
for a love connection.
What good are presidential powers
if you can't use them to get girls?
Besides, you guys know I haven't had
much luck convincing Stacey
that she likes me...
-Hi, Stacey!
-Ew.
-Hi, Stacey!
-Ew.
-Hi, Stacey!
-Ew.
So, why would Stacey say "yes"
to you this time?
Hence, the brilliance of
the "Daylight Savings Time Dance
and Fitness Expo."
Two things Stacey loves:
daylight and fitness.
I've got it all planned to
the smallest detail.
Wait a minute, where are Jakey and I
in your little whacked-out world?
Oh, you're right over... Hey,
where are the gingerbread cookies?
(MUNCHING), (SWALLOWS)
-Oh, sorry. Was this you?
-(SIGHS) Hmm.
(THEME SONG PLAYING)
♪ He's cool, he's hot like a frozen sun ♪
♪ He's young and fast
He's the chosen one ♪
♪ People, we're not braggin' ♪
♪ He's the American Dragon ♪
♪ He's gonna stop his enemies
with his dragon power ♪
♪ Dragon teeth, dragon tail,
burnin' dragon fire ♪
♪ A real live wire ♪
♪ American Dragon ♪
♪ American Dragon ♪
♪ He's the American Dragon ♪
♪ His skills are getting faster ♪
♪ With Grandpa, the master ♪
♪ His destiny, what's up, G? ♪
♪ It's show time, baby, for the legacy ♪
♪ American Dragon ♪
♪ I'm a dragon, I'm not braggin'
It's my destiny ♪
♪ I'm the magical protector of the NYC ♪
Ya heard?
♪ American Dragon ♪
Yeow!
That's your lunch,
chocolate sauce on tortilla chips?
Choco-Nachos.
Another delicacy from Der Fry Hut.
(CHOMPS)
What is up with your chow choices lately?
Shouldn't the American Dragon
stay in shape?
Yeah, if there's something to
stay in shape for.
Dragon business has been slow for weeks.
Even Gramps took time off for
his annual meditation retreat to Tibet.
(DISCO MUSIC PLAYING)
I figure if he's taking a break,
I can take a break from
all this diet and training.
Sort of my "tummer" vacation.
Oh, lighten up, Trix.
I wouldn't be on the Chowtown Expressway
unless I was positive
nothing was going down
in the magical world.
(OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYS)
(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS)
(GASPS) (COUGHS)
Oh, why is it so hard
to make a mascara that won't run
after you've been stuck in stone
for a couple of months?
Oh, sphinx, my power bracelet's broken.
Ugh, my sisters are so gonna get
their snakes in a bunch
if I don't break them free.
SPUD: There she is.
Okay, time to put my perfect plan
into place.
Wait. I've gotta practice
asking her out one more time.
You wrote a script?
Dude, just be yourself.
Trixie, would you go out with me
if I was just myself?
Do the script.
Afternoon, all.
-Yo.
-Hey, Nigel.
Come on, Jake. Final test run.
Okay. You be Stacey. (CLEARS THROAT)
"Stacey, I know how much you enjoy
daylight and fitness...
"So, would you like to go to
"the Daylight Savings Time Dance
and Fitness Expo with me?"
(INAUDIBLE)
Oh, no... I'm sorry, Spud.
No, no, no, you don't turn me down.
Stick to the script.
Oh, and do it in a girly voice, like this,
(HIGH-PITCHED)
"Spud, I would love to go out with you."
Uh, I think there might be
a character missing in your script.
(BRITISH ACCENT) In short,
I would be honored to share
the dawning of Daylight Savings Time
with a date
whose brilliance rivals the sun itself.
'Kay.
(SCREAMS) No!
(JAKE CHOMPING)
You sure you don't want some licorice?
I'll untie a couple of feet for you.
There's not enough candy in the world
to take away the bitterness
I'm destined to taste the rest of my life.
I feel for you, bro... Root beer?
-(CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS)
-What was that?
This is the "before" picture.
If I'm organizing
a dance and a fitness expo,
I need to show my fellow Fillmorians
what diet and exercise can do for them.
So, as of right now,
I'm turning this garbage disposal off.
Trix, stop trippin'.
It's just a little harmless snackin'.
I was making you guys
friendship necklaces.
SPUD: Look at them, so perfect.
Like one of those pictures
that comes in the frame when you buy it.
Look, Spud, you need to ask yourself,
"Is Stacey really worth it?"
Uh, Spud?
Shh! I'm asking myself...
Okay, got it!
Yep, turns out, she is worth it.
-What?
-No way!
Thanks, guys.
And I know what you're
going to say next. Fight for her.
-What?
-No way!
And you're right again.
I will prove to Stacey
that Nigel Thrall is no match
for the romance of Arthur P. Spudinski.
(SIGHS) Why can't I learn
that rhetorical questions don't work
with this one?
-Maybe it's because...
-Or you...
-(SNIFFS)
-GIRLS: Aw!
(HORSE NEIGHS)
Ahhh!
My fair Stacey,
I come to whisk thee away
on my mighty steed
to a storybook ball in the gym.
Hey, kid. You're supposed to
pet the animals,
not take 'em for a joyride.
Okay.
Plan B...
(ROLLS TONGUE)
(IN SPANISH ACCENT)
Senorita, my dance of passion for you.
By wizard's cloak, become poison oak.
SPUD: (BELCHES) Ahhh! (SPITS)
Yup, Spud. It looks like poison oak.
Well, that explains the itchies.
(GROANS)
Look, Spud. This time,
we're not asking you to ask yourself
if Stacey's worth it.
We're telling you... she's not.
I can't believe my romantic skills
didn't send her into my arms.
And I can't believe I didn't see Nigel's
scratch-acadabra spell coming.
A spell... that's it!
That's why she's into him.
He must've cast some kind
of "likeus-Nigelus-notus-Spudus."
Or you're-jus'-jealous-ridiculous.
I demandus justice!
We'll fight magic with magic!
Jake, help me out here, bro, come on.
-(AMERICAN DRAGON MUSIC RINGTONE)
-Sorry, Spud. It's Fu. I'm out.
And you better not stop
at Der Fry Hut on the way!
JAKE: Mmm.
Our grunion-formants report that
one of the Gorgon sisters has escaped
-from her stone prison.
-(SWALLOWS)
Hey, Detective, want a fish taco,
or is that just weird?
Kid, give your choppers a break
so you can hear Detective Derceto.
She's trying to warn us about Fury.
Fury's out? I'd better back off the junk.
-It's all yours, Fu.
-Na-uh!
When you hit 600 years old
like I have, kid,
you can't eat like you did
in your two hundreds.
(CHOMPS)
Fortunately, we found her broken bracelet
at the bottom of the harbor.
Without it, she'll be unable
to free her sisters, Medusa and Euryale.
Unfortunately, Fury can regain
her full powers
if she finds
another Phoenician snake bracelet...
like this little baby
we've been keeping safe in the vault.
So, you're saying we've
got it under control, right?
I can get back to my food-apalooza?
(CHOMPS) Mmm.
You must be careful, Jake.
Fury will go to any lengths
to get another bracelet.
WINIFRED: Phoenician snake bracelet, huh?
Oh, let me check with my suppliers.
Ah, here's one.
Oh, it's at Lao Shi's on Canal Street.
He'll never give it up.
That old goat's a pack rat.
Uh, just a minute, please.
The American Dragon's grandfather?
Yeah. Look, it's been a slow week.
Why don't you pick out
a couple of yeti bone bracelets...
-...from our clearance table?
-(DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES)
Uh, hi. I'm looking for some kind of
love spell un-doer.
Preferably in a bubble gum flavor.
I'm sorry. Are you a warlock
or a wizard or...
Could I see some ID?
Oh, uh, I'm not magically-inclined,
but my best friend is.
You probably know him,
the American Dragon?
I think that's all the ID I need.
SPUD: Whoa... Oh!
I also have a very identifiable birthmark
between my...
(CHUCKLES) Hi, excuse me.
I, uh, I couldn't help overhearing.
-You need a spell removed?
-(HISSES)
Uh, aren't you Fury?
Ahhh... Please don't hurt me!
(LAUGHS) Oh, gosh. No, no, no.
You're thinking of the old Fury.
I've changed.
I mean, when you're stuck in stone,
like I was,
you have time to realize
the error of your ways.
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
Okay, um, good luck with that.
Adios... Whoa!
Oh, you don't trust me.
It's okay, nobody does.
That's why I'm out trying to
prove to the world,
one good deed at a time,
that this Gorgon has gor-gone-good.
What's your problem? Maybe I can help.
Well, um. There's this guy.
He put a spell on a cheerleader
I was gonna ask to
the Daylight Savings Time Dance
and Fitness Expo.
-He just slithered in and...
-Okay, okay, I get it!
So, how about I just make her like you?
-Like me or...
-Like like you.
I, like, like likey!
Okay, so what do you need for the magic,
a lock of Stacey's hair?
I have a collection that's cross-indexed
by date and shampoo smell...
Actually, (CHUCKLES) funny story.
I'm having a smidge
of a power fizzle-out right now.
What I could really use is
a special bracelet to restore my power.
Really? I don't know where
to get something like that.
-I'll tell you where.
-But I don't know what it looks like.
-I'll tell you what it looks like.
-Okay. Can I tell my friends?
No, it's a secret!
Oh, this would be easier with a monkey.
(CHOMPING)
Oh, caramel corn, huh?
It looks... so... tasty.
(BURPS) It was,
but there are a lot of un-popped kernels.
Yeah, what a... waste.
Hold on.
-(POPPING)
-(DROOLS) I'm weak!
There, I said it. Race ya to the bottom.
(CHOMPS)
-Huh?
-TRIXIE: Reach for it again...
...and I'll take your hand off
with a rice cake.
Aw, man.
Come to Fu Dog, my caramel love.
(CHOMPS)
(GAGS)
This is how you're protecting
the bracelet?
Why don't we just put it in
the front window?
It's the perfect hiding place.
Fury is so into herself,
she'd never touch caramel corn.
Too fattening.
Hey, guys. I just happened to be
passing by and I was thinking,
"Wow, Gramps sure has a ton of cool,
magical gear around the shop."
You got your crystals, potions, gadgets...
Hmm, what else? (EXHALES)
What am I missing?
(MOAN) Keep an eye on him.
We've got enough broken stuff around here.
I'm gonna find a place to stash this.
Hmm...
I love... I mean, like you, Spud.
Like like you.
Uh, you're looking for
a place to keep your bracelet?
Well, uh, how about my house?
(LAUGHS NERVOUSLY)
That has to be most lame-brained,
idiotic...
uh, brilliant idea
I've ever heard from you, Spudinski.
-It is?
-BOTH: It is?
Yep. When you're looking for
the great powers of
the ancient Phoenicians,
you don't exactly start with Spud.
You take care of that
and I'll take care of this.
Okay, Spud.
Let's get this over to your house.
Uh, it's cool. (CHUCKLING)
I can handle it.
Another good idea, Spud.
That way Jakey and I can stay here
and prepare a junk-food-free menu
he can stick to between now
and the Fitness Expo,
where his "after" body will be
an inspiration to the student body.
Ahhh, yes, yes, yes!
I can feel the power
coursing through my snakes.
(LAUGHS WICKEDLY)
(LAUGHS WICKEDLY)
We're laughing 'cause I'm gonna take
Stacey away from Nigel, right? (CHUCKLES)
(LAUGHS LOUDER)
Cool!
-(SPUD HUMMING)
-Hey, Spud.
-You haven't seen Trixie, have you?
-Nope.
Good, 'cause I got
a slice of apple pie in here
that kept me awake
all through history... Huh?
"Here's your apple, minus the pie."
Aw, man...
Check it out, bro. This'll cheer you up.
You're actually breaking up with me?
What about the dance?
People's tongues will wag on about us.
Say again?
It means they'll gossip.
(GIGGLES) I don't care what it means.
I just like hearing the way you talk.
So, bye, I guess.
That doesn't make me feel better.
-Yeah, but it makes me feel great.
-Hmm...
"Meet me in the janitor's closet at noon."
Excellent!
Uh, hi. Sorry I'm late.
You didn't say which janitor's closet.
(CHUCKLES)
Look, I woke up this morning,
and I was, thinking about all that stuff
you were, like, doing for me yesterday.
And I think I kinda, like, like you.
Like, like like you.
(GAG) Sorry, instinct.
My body's trying to, like, reject you.
Anyway, we should, like, hang sometime.
Really? Okay. Well, how about now?
Yeah, uh, that's the thing.
We can, like, do stuff,
but only if nobody actually,
like, sees us together.
Totally... Why?
Well, we both have reputations
and I really want to keep mine.
Yeah. Yours is good.
So, um... I gotta get to class,
and, um... I know this is awkward, but...
Could you wait 20 minutes
before you leave?
Uh-huh, yeah, I can do that.
(GAGS) Bye.
(SIGHS) Thank you, Fury. Thank you.
Well done, my burly minions.
You've reunited me with my sisters.
Now, before I release you
from my mind control,
bring back three large mocha lattes.
And don't forget the biscotti!
(GROANS) I can't believe
Fury took so long.
Yeah. She knows we hate waiting for her.
Hello. (LAUGHS) I'm right here.
You ungrateful little...
Okay, okay. We can't fight
if we're going to take over the world.
Thank you.
Now, before we start our life
of world domination,
first things first...
We destroy the American Dragon!
(LAUGHS WICKEDLY)
What a drama queen.
(INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING)
I can't believe Spud's not here to help.
This whole thing was his idea.
Cut him a break, Trix.
Not getting his chance with Stacey
was a pretty big blow.
He's probably not going to show up.
(LAUGHS) Well, that just means
more work for you.
Now, dragon up
and fly these streamers over there.
Sure... Dragon up!
(STRAINS)
(GROANS), (GASPING)
You've been crunch creepin', haven't you?
Uh, I was just holding that for Fu.
Danger isn't gonna wait for you
to get back into shape.
And by danger, I mean Fury.
She doesn't know where I am. And besides,
she's powerless without that bracelet,
which is safely stashed in Spud's crib.
-FURY: (LAUGHS MANIACALLY)
-(BOTH GASP)
(TRIXIE GASPS)
(GRUNTS)
...Or not.
Oh, look, girls, the American Dragon.
(CHUCKLES) Hello, tubby.
Have you put on a few pounds?
It's all muscle
and I'm gonna give
the three of you beat-downs to prove it.
(STRAINING) You're in... for it... now...
Ahhh! (GRUNTS)
Yee-aa!
-(CRASHES)
-(GROANS)
(GRUNTS)
Uh-oh.
MEDUSA: (STRAINING) He's so heavy.
-FURY: I thought he put on weight.
-Ew, I broke a nail.
FURY: Don't listen to me.
I told you guys we should've
turned him into stone
closer to the harbor.
Oh, Jakey.
-(HUMS)
-TRIXIE: Spud!
We got a 9-1-1.
Fury and her sisters just took Jake.
Fury? No, it can't be.
She lied.
-Who lied?
-Fury tricked me.
She said she wanted to turn good
and if I helped her she'd help me.
Help you, how?
Hey, watch where you're standing, creep!
I baked you cookies.
They're behind the dumpster.
(CHUCKLE SUSPICIOUSLY)
You made a deal with Fury
to get with that?
I'm sorry, but I think I know
who can save Jake.
You thought I had Stacey under a spell?
Ha, please.
Why would do do that
when I have my British charm
and rugged good looks?
So, you really didn't do
some like-us-Nigel-us on her?
Stupid, stupid, stupid!
No worries, chap.
She broke up with me anyway.
Uh, about that...
I kinda had some mind-control help,
but if you help me save Jake,
you'll be back with Stacey, lickety-split.
(ALL STRAINING)
(COUGHS) I think your wand is due
for a smog check.
Looks like the snake wenches are
about to drop the dragon in the drink.
(STRAINING)
Excuse me. What do you think you're doing?
Uh, I don't really know...
Okay, something weird is going on here.
Hurry, ladies, we have evil to spread.
And then shoe shopping,
definitely shoe shopping.
(ALL STRAINING)
Spud, keep the Gorgons occupied.
No problemo.
Somebody owes me an explanation-o.
Fury, you lied to me.
You're not good.
Uh, who's that?
The heartbroken sap I used
to get another bracelet.
Let me turn him to stone.
(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS)
(ALL SCREAM)
SPUD: Jake! Oh, no!
No!
Another one?
This one's mine.
You might want to save your energy
for the beat-down
the American Dragon about to give you.
Yeah! Can you put me down first?
(SPUD SCREAMS)
Let's start off
with a shrimp cocktail. (GRUNTS)
-Disgusting!
-Ew!
That boy has got to get himself
back in shape.
Enough of this. Let's finish him.
Whoa! Whoa!
No... energy... can't...
Huh? Where did this come from?
NIGEL: You're welcome, Long.
(JAKE GRUNTS)
What? Hey!
(GASPS)
Thanks for the mask, Nigel.
No worries, but what about Fury?
She still has that bracelet.
Let her go. I'll deal with her later,
after I lighten my load a little.
Where'd she get that bracelet, anyway?
It couldn't have been the one
from Grandpa's shop
'cause Spud hid that one at his house.
Right, Spud?
I'm sorry, sorry, sorry...
SPUD: Sorry, sorry.
JAKE: You can stop apologizing, Spud.
You're right, I'm sorry.
I want you guys to know
that I promise to never, ever
let jealousy get the better of me again.
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I owe Nigel a cheerleader.
While we're spreading
the "I'm sorrys" all around here,
don't you have something
you need to say to me?
Yeah. I've gotta stay in shape.
Good-bye junk food
and welcome home healthy eating.
And exercising?
Whatever you say.
Good, 'cause dancing's great exercise.
Look, I know you snapped out of liking me,
so you don't have to dump me.
Just go ahead and be with Nigel.
Okay, I know who I like, potato boy.
And I told you, it's, like, you.
(GAGS) You're just gonna have
to get used to him, tummy!
It's okay, Stace.
You don't have to act like that anymore
because you're not being mind-con...
Wait, you really like me?
Fury lied about this, too?
(HIGH-PITCHED) Awesome!
I heard you planned this dance for me.
Yeah. Stupid, huh?
Well, are we going to dance or not?
Heck, yeah, we are!
Hello, I can't be seen with you.
Oh, uh, right.
(SLOW INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING)
-(BANGING ON DOOR)
-JAKE: Spud, are you in there?
Man, who cares
if it didn't work out with Stacey?
You don't have to hide.
TRIXIE: Yeah, she doesn't deserve you.
She ain't even much of a cheerleader.
Check out her no-rhythm booty up
on top of a pyramid.
JAKE: Yo, Spud, better dry your eyes
and come out, Rotwood's coming.
JAKE: (AS MR. ROTWOOD) Mark my word, Spud,
come out of there
or you will be suspended.
Schnucken, hosen...
JAKE: Okay, that was still me,
but, seriously,
the mops are in there
and we just wanna clean up and go home.
-TRIXIE: Spudinski!
-Spud, come on, man!
-(BANGING ON DOOR CONTINUES)
-TRIXIE: (FURIOUSLY) SPUD!