American Dragon: Jake Long (2005–2007): Season 1, Episode 21 - Flight of the Unicorn - full transcript

(BEATBOXING)

Hi, Jake. Got a second?

It's the mark of the Huntsclan.

It assures me that
I was born to do one thing.

Slay dragons.

Oh, hey, Rose.

Um, sure, I have a second.

And, whoops, there it went.

I gotta get going to the place with...

Ahhh!

Um, okay. Some other time?



JAKE: Three, two, one. (SIGHS)

It's just so wrong.

The girl of my dreams turning out to be
in tight with the Huntsclan.

Things could be a lot worse, you know.

You could be in love
with your mortal enemy.

Wait, never mind.

When I see her,

it's like I don't know whether
to kiss her,

or to incinerate her with a fireball.

Yep, sounds like true love to me, bra.

You best check yourself, Jakey.

Remember, Rose is the Huntsgirl,

and the Huntsgirl is bad news.

She would slay your dragon tail
in a heartbeat



if she knew the truth about you.

MAN: Huntsgirl, it's time to prepare

for the Grand Equinox Hunt.

Coming, master!

(SIGHS)

MASTER: Your training
is nearly complete, Huntsgirl.

But you still must slay your first dragon

in order to take
your rightful place in the huntsclan.

I'm ready, master.

Good, because this year's hunt

will feature a very special prize.

The hide of the American Dragon.

♪ He's cool, he's hot like a frozen sun ♪

♪ He's young and fast
He's the chosen one ♪

♪ People, we're not braggin' ♪

♪ He's the American Dragon ♪

♪ He's gonna stop his enemies
with his dragon power ♪

♪ Dragon teeth, dragon tail,
burnin' dragon fire ♪

♪ A real live wire ♪

♪ American Dragon ♪

JAKE: Dragon up!

♪ American Dragon ♪

Oh, oh, oh, whoa!

♪ He's the American Dragon ♪

Break it down with the dragon.

♪ His skills are gettin' faster ♪

♪ With Grandpa, the master ♪

♪ His destiny, what's up, G? ♪

♪ It's showtime, baby, for the legacy ♪

♪ American Dragon ♪

♪ From the "J" to the "A"
to the "K" to the "E" ♪

♪ I'm the Mack Daddy dragon of the NYC ♪

Ya heard?

GRANDPA: Jake! get back to work!

Aw, man.

(PEOPLE YELLING)

What's with the ruckus, G?

A dispute between two tribes
of meadow sprites. Observe.

The tribe on the northern bank
claims the enchanted apple

because the tree grows on their land.

But the fruit hangs over the territory
of the southern tribe,

so they believe
it rightfully belongs to them.

So, what up?

I mean, who decides
which tribe gets the apple?

Ah. You do, young one.

The American Dragon
is judge and jury, kid.

So go ahead and judge,
and, you know, jurify.

Yeah, okay! Ha ha! No problem.

Just sit back and watch the Am Drag
do his thing.

Dragon up, yo!

I'm layin' three to one biscuits

that the kid crashes and burns
inside of two minutes.

Any takers?

Listen up, y'all.

American Dragon is here

to lay down the law
on this apple business, you heard?

I hereby declare that the apple

-belongs to the northern tribe.
-(ALL CHEERING)

It only seems fair since the tree is...

The Ancient Texts of Gohansai

clearly define airspace rights

of our own sprite territory.

Really? Oh. Uh, my bad.

Then I decree that the apple

-rightfully goes to the southern tribe...
-Wrong!

The Sacred Scrolls of Hingham Rue

state that all fruit belongs to the land

from which the tree holds its roots.

Okay, okay. Just chill.

Look, I'll just slice this baby up.

That way both of you can share.

No! Cutting the apple

will destroy the fruit's
magic properties.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Right. Right.

I, um, I knew that.

Choose, and choose now, dragon.

Or our tribes will decide this matter
for ourselves

through battle!

-(SPRITES YELLING)
-No, hold up!

There has to be a peaceful way
to settle this.

Uh, do you guys know rock,
paper, scissors?

Eenie, meanie, miney, moe? Anybody?

Make for the apple!

-Fight to the core!
-(ALL CLAMORING)

No, wait! stop! Grandpa!

There is no more apple,
and no more reason to fight.

Are there any questions?

(SPRITES GRUMBLING)

Magical creatures look to dragons

for strong leadership and guidance.

Never forget that, young one.

You must always show great poise

and... (BURPS) Excuse me.

Hey, you could've at least
saved me a bite, Grandpa.

I'm hungry like the wolf over here.

Strong leadership.

Right.

Whoa!

How's my aim, dragon-boy?

Totally lame. You missed!

Did I?

Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!

Catch me if you can.

Congratulations, dragon-boy.

You've fallen right into our trap.

Hi-ya! Whoo!

I'm sorry, huntsfool,

but you left the back door open.

See ya!

Oh, it's all part of the plan, dragon.

You're about to catch
the downtown express.

Uh-oh.

Not the face! Not the face!

MAN: Heads. No. Tails. No!

Heads! Wrong again.

This just isn't me day. Again.

Hey, guys! The dragon's awake!

(GROANS)

Since when is the downtown express
ever on time?

No sign of intracranial trauma

or subdural hematoma.

No sign of inter-suba-what?

You're fine.

Dragons rescue us.

Rescued? Us?

With my luck, no, not likely.

Tails. No.

Where am I? Who are...

Oi! Watch where
your tail's sittin', dragon.

Oh, sorry.
I didn't even see you down there.

How would ye like to see

my fist hanging down
your throat, then?

Oh, don't mind Reggie.

He's a brownie with some
anger management issues.

I don't have anger management issues!

I manage to get angry just fine,
thank you very much!

I'm Silver.
I graduated aqua cum laude. Atlantis U.

Congratulations.

The giant is Bertha.

Bertha's feets smells bad.

Ugh! That's puttin' it mildly.

Are we going into a tunnel?

It's getting so dark.

And the neurotic leprechaun is Clooney.

Look, I'm not neurotic, okay?

I'm just very, very unlucky.

Okay, I'm thinking heads,

so I'll go the other way
and guess tails.

Oh, darn it!

The name's Jake Long.
I'm the American Dragon.

Just hang tight and I'll have us
out of here in no time flat.

Save your strength, Jake.

These chains are reinforced
with unicorn horn.

Even you can't break them.

But what are we doing here?

Where are they taking us?

See the elliptical position of the moon?

My guess is that we are
the special guests

for the Huntsclan's Grand Equinox Hunt.

The Grand Eq... What now?

The Grand Equinox Hunt.

For thousands of years,
our order has lived by one simple code...

The way of the hunt.

Tomorrow at dawn,
each of these creatures

will be released, and given
a 10-minute head start.

Then we shall track them down

and bag them as our trophies.

But the grand prize is mine.

Tomorrow, I swear on our ancestors

that I will slay the American Dragon

and fulfill my destiny.

(ALL CHEERING)

Slay the dragon!
Slay the dragon!

Oh, right. Sorry.

Let me at that Huntsclan!

I'll take them all on meself!

(GROANS)

Dragon, I just wanna
have a good look at you

before I slay you tomorrow.

Look all you want.
The view is mighty pretty,

But what say we dial down
the whole slaying part?

There's something about you.

In your eyes.
Something familiar.

Yo, Huntsgirl,
why are you doing all this?

I am marked. It is my destiny.

Hey, I got a birthmark on my rear

that's shaped like
the state of Idaho.

It doesn't mean
I'm gonna move there.

What matters is what's on the inside.

You don't know me, dragon.

I know there's more to you than that.

Maybe you're
a little rough around the edges,

but every thorn
has gotta have a Rose.

What? What did you just say?

Uh, I just mean
I think there's another side to you.

You're not like the Huntsmen.

Not yet, but I will be

after I slay you tomorrow.

What, no last meal?

Come on! give a dragon some love!

Nice try, lover boy,

but it looks like you struck out.

Guess again, Silver.

♪ Holla ♪

Hey! He has the key!

Hooray! Hoo...

Oh, right. Shh.

The key won't work on these locks.

We're stuck together.

Whoa!

Oh!

Get them stinkin' toes out of my face,

you wretched giant!

I think I see the white cliffs of Dover.

Keep moving. It's almost dawn.

The prisoners have escaped, Master.

I... I don't know what happened.

Disappointing, Huntsgirl.

Release the hounds!

-(BLOWS HORN)
-And let the hunt begin.

All right, no need to panic.

(HORN BLOWS)

Is that the ice cream man?

Guess again.

Every magical creature for themselves!

Ahhh!

Aw, man!

Fan out.

Silence.

(DISTANT HAMMERING)

That way, master.

(GRUNTING)

Ow! That was my thumb!

Now I'll probably get a blister.
I just know it.

Yep, there it is.

This metallic alloy
is 50% iron, 30% titanium,

and 20% unicorn horn
with a hardness level of...

Miss Know-it-all Fishtail.

Why don't you shut your big,
smart hole for once?

There's no way
you can break these by...

Everyone, get down!

Fasten your seat belts.

Y'all about to fly the dragon airlines.

Now can I get a whoop! whoop!

Sorry, Jake,
but it's scientifically impossible

For your wings to displace
enough air to...

Hey, all I know is I can get you

from dis place to dat place. Ha ha!

Check it, check it out.

(GROANS)

Bertha flying!

Bertha like butterfly!

Oof!

Ahhh!

Ah, that's really nice flying, dragon.

I oughta punch your lights out for ya,

-ya no-good winged reptile!
-Shh.

Quick, hide!

They couldn't have gotten far.

Uh-oh. These leaves,
they're covered in pollen.

Ah... Ah... Ah...

Move on.

Ah-choo!

You don't think they heard that, do you?

(WEAPONS COCKING)

Yep, that figures.

Open fire!

After them!

Silver, get in the water!

You gotta use your fins
to get us to the other side.

Uh, yeah. About that.

I can't really swim.
I'm afraid of the water.

You're afraid of the what?

You're a mermaid,
for the love of Picadilly Circus!

Mermaid no swim?

I know, I know.
Look, it's kind of embarrassing.

(ALL YELLING)

Geysers.

Uh, ix-nay on the dragon fire-aye, Jake.

The gas coming out
of these geysers is highly flammable.

Uh, does this happen to you a lot?

Oh, yeah.
It's part of the whole unlucky thing.

Ahhh!

See? See?
Everyone I love, I end up hurting.

(HORN BLOWS)

Huntsclan coming.
Huntsclan coming!

Fire at will!

(ALL SCREAMING)

Is it over?

Oh, it's over, all right.
Look at us!

We've got a freakin' giant

An unlucky leprechaun,
a mermaid that can't swim.

You know,
I think we're one pathetic bunch,

and I hate each
and every one of ya.

Even myself!

GRANDPA: Magical creatures
look to dragons

for strong leadership and guidance.

Never forget that, young one.

I'm surprised we made it this far.

They're just gonna come zap us

with that green energy stuff.

Green energy stuff.

Listen up, y'all.
The Am Drag has got a plan.

There.

♪ Yeah, now wave your chains in the air ♪

♪ Wave 'em like you just don't care ♪

Yeah!

Hey, it worked.

Oi, let's clear out of here.

One dragon shishkabob

coming right up.

Time to turn up the heat, yo.

Ahhh!

Fall back!

Ooh, those things
really chafe the ankles, you know?

Anyone bring any aloe?

Well, I hate all of ya guts,

but I wish you luck just the same.

Farewell.

Wait! We have to stay together.

Oi! What are you
talking about, dragon?

Look, we don't stand
a chance out there by ourselves.

The Huntsclan are just gonna
pick us off one at a time.

Jake thinks we do gooder together?

Yeah, way gooder.

I mean, look,

I say we're through running and hiding.

I say we take the fight to them.

Oh, yeah. A little payback.

I like the sound of that.

I'll stay with...

Sorry.

So that's the plan.

We hit their camp at sunset.
Any questions?

Just one.

Are you, like, completely bananas?

We're not warriors, Jake.

Yeah, well, we still got
a couple of hours to change that.

You feeling me?

Whoa!

Ahhh!

Ahhh! Ahhh!

Argh!

Ugh!

Bertha's foot is smelling and hurting.

Oh, me bruises have bruises.

Oh, wait. That one's a mole.

I should probably
get that one checked.

This isn't going to work.

Trust me.

I'll give you guys lots of cover
from the air. I...

(HORN BLOWS)

Get down! I'll lead them away!

Yo! Hunts-chumps! Over here!

Ha ha! Is that all you got?

Try this, dragon.

Excellent chain work, Huntsgirl.

It looks like you will have
your dragon trophy after all.

Well done, Huntsgirl.

Now finish him.
Become one of us.

Okay, just like Jake planned it.

ROSE: Something familiar.

What are you waiting for?

Um, excuse me?
Is there a dress code for this party?

'Cause all my dresses are at the cleaners.

Get the leprechaun!

Come on! Come on!
Don't let this be my lucky day.

Looks like rain.

Anyone else feeling unlucky?

Bertha charge!

Now you're gonna get it, you!

Take defensive positions.
We're under attack.

♪ Dum da, dum da ♪

Oh, sweet mercy!

Smell Bertha's feet.
Smell the feet.

No!

I oughta take you on all myself.

But instead,
I'm gonna take a nice deep breath

and do the wise thing.

(GRUNTS)

Silver! You did it! You swam!

Well, I am a mermaid.

Smell feet! Smell feet!

Time to give y'all that air cover
I promised.

Fall back into the woods. Retreat!

Ahhh!

Ha! Now that's what I call

lighting a fire under someone's... Ahhh!

It's over, dragon.

Say good-bye!

Rose! No!

Wha... What did you call me?

Rose. If you wanna say good-bye,

say it to my human face.

Rose, it's me.

Jake?

Hyah!

Rose, wait!

Jake! Jake!

Jake! Jake!

We did it! We really did it!

Hey, maybe my luck
is finally changing after all.

Heads.

Sorry, Clooney,
but I'm gonna need this.

Oi, what are you staring at, then?

Hey, what up, G?

Any chance you and Fu

can drive upstate
and pick up me and some friends?

GRANDPA: Well done, young one.

You show great skills
not just as a dragon,

but as a leader.

Yeah, but I'm not so sure about letting
the Huntsgirl know who you really are.

It kind of takes away from the mystery,
and the romance,

and the va-va-va voom
of the whole thing, don't you think?

If the Huntsgirl has truly changed,

she could become a valuable ally

in our struggle against the Huntsclan.

Not only that,
but she's gonna be my main squeeze.

Holla!

Don't you guys see?
Rose let me go!

Huntsgirl let me go.

She digs me.

Yeah, Jakey. Sure.

In a really messed up
and dysfunctional way.

Sounds like true love to me.

And now what you think,
everything is going to be

all love and gravy
between the two of y'all?

At least we can finally talk.

No more secrets, no more kung fu.

Just her and me.

On three, two, one.

Dudes, check out
how hard my head is!

I totally rule.

I'm sorry, Jake. Rose is gone.

She transferred out of
this school yesterday.

Transferred? Where'd she go?

I mean, I need to get a hold of her.

Well, there's no forwarding address
here, nothing.

I'm sorry, Jake.

She did leave this for you.

But... But... It's the... She...

Aw, man.

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)