American Dad! (2005–…): Season 17, Episode 1 - Langley Dollar Listings - full transcript
Francine becomes a realtor in the high-end world of real estate.
When chimpanzees mate,
their orgasms sound remarkably
like human orgasms.
Hear for yourself.
Okay.
- Move it!
- We're taking over.
But the chimpanzees'
orgasms...
sound just like humans.
Everybody knows!
This is
"Langley Dollar Listings"!
And it's filmed here.
In Langley heights,
to be exact.
Very exclusive.
You would never be allowed
up there, Steve.
Here are the realtors!
Trad. Lame.
Clephanie. Lamer.
Vebastian.
Nice guy, horrible realtor.
Trashelle... Trashelle...
Who's she?
She's hands-down
the best realtor.
She has
the coolest car...
Ghost black
range rover.
- ...The biggest heels...
- 10-inchers.
...And the hottest
boyfriend.
Tristan, a 19-year-old
yoga model
Who's converting
to christianity for her
Even though
he's never heard of it.
She's what I would be
if I were a TV realtor.
Tough, smart,
a stone-cold closer.
But the reason she's the best
is because
She's like me,
dramatic!
No, she's the best
because she's so smart.
She always gets the right buyers
through the door.
Nuh-unh.
It's the drama!
You're so stupid,
you remind me of Clephanie.
I remind you
of a bad bitch
That drives a tricked-out
Kia Sonata?
Keep trying to insult me.
You're doing great.
Hyundai
makes the Sonata.
Kia
makes the sorento.
Shut up, Steve, you're such a vebastian!
Whoa! Whoa!
♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪
♪ I got a feelin' that
it's gonna be a wonderful day ♪
♪ The sun in the sky
has a smile on his face ♪
♪ And he's shinin' a salute
to the American race ♪
♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say ♪
♪ Good... ♪
♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪
Aah!
♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪
*AMERICAN DAD!*
*AMERICAN DAD (2005)*
Season 17 Episode 01 (IMDB)
Episode Title: "Langley Dollar Listings"
Aired on: January 24, 2022.
Hey, geric, what's up?
That's geric.
He runs the agency
and gives out all the listings.
Oh, Trashelle,
I've got some big news!
I'm giving you
the biggest listing
in "Langley Dollar Listings"
history... Chateau Langley!
Oh, my God!
Chateau Langley
is a 24-bedroom castle
that overlooks
the amazing Langley ravine
and hasn't been on the market
in 780 years.
That's, like,
before Columbus...
Shut up!
I'm gonna go.
Get out of here!
Gahhh!
Steve's terrible at watching TV.
Aquarium trip!
I'm only paying for
the first three people!
Did I make it?
Barely.
What's that?
Fancy pour-over coffees
I made for us.
Sorry, Jeff,
I'm not interested.
Because it was made
by you.
I understand.
I'll buy that cup of coffee
off ya.
I was on my way
to the coffee shop!
Mmm, wow,
this is amazing coffee!
How much?
One money.
Here you go!
I would've paid
way more.
There.
You got a little dollar, Jeff.
Happy?
No!
I'm gonna get a lot
of little dollars!
'Cause I'm gonna start
selling my coffee
to people walking by
on their way to the coffee shop
right now!
Instead of going
to the aquarium?
Yes.
'cause that's how serious I am.
I'm willing to give up laughing
at the sea otters for this.
Sorry, laughing
with the sea otters.
Did we make
the aquarium cut?
Nobody's going
to the aquarium.
I guess we're doing
a coffee shop this week.
Oh, no!
I got all dolled up
to ask out that hot octopus.
You saw her
on the news!
She picked two of the last
seven presidents.
As everyone knows,
I recently gave Trashelle
the chateau Langley listing.
- Boo!
- Boo!
But as everyone
doesn't know,
Trashelle
has gone missing!
Alright, gang, the posters
have been up
for a solid couple hours.
It is time to for us to accept
Trashelle is not coming back.
So let's all
consider her dead.
That's why we're turning to you,
loyal viewer!
Instead of seeking a new agent
through professional avenues,
we're asking our viewers
to audition!
I'm Memphis stormfront,
and look at all these idiots
standing in line,
praying to be the newest realtor
on the smash-hit show,
"Langley Dollar Listings."
482...
Stormfront!
So long,
loyal viewers.
I can finally admit
I've always hated weather.
Even though I've been
a realtor before,
I stayed up watching
all the Trashelle episodes
so I could sound
smart like her.
483... Francine!
Francine, that's you.
Right!
I was so focused on being smart
I forgot my name for a second.
I know how to get the right
buyers through the door.
And how is that?
I actually...
Don't know.
I was just saying that.
No, that's fine.
The attitude
is right.
Can you tell me
what these images are?
Door, window,
for-sale sign.
Thank you.
Send the next one in.
I'm Shebecca Escrow,
and I'll do anything
to sell a house.
I'll have sex
with all the clients.
I'll have sex
with all the buyers.
And I'll have sex
with all of you.
Hmm.
I had so much fun
make-believing
I was a TV realtor today.
And now to eat at the same
salad bucket
the realtors
on the show eat at.
A lot of people
don't like salads
'cause they're not
filling enough.
That's why I always
order mine all-garbanzo.
This bad boy's
about 30 pounds.
Should keep me going
right into nap time.
Gotta be honest, pretty sure
I got the job today.
I had sex with geric
and the other judge.
And then to make sure
the job was mine,
I also had sex
with the cameraman
And the door handle
on the way out.
Hello?
Yes!
Great!
That was geric.
I got the job!
They said they loved
my personality
and I was the only person
to properly identify
the images of the door, window,
and the for-sale sign.
Window.
Ahhh!
There's your window!
Ahhh!
I'm the new agent,
Francine.
I'm like a lemur monkey...
Mostly business,
but I will throw my own shit
at you if I have to.
My first listing
is a Danish modern
owned by a super-rich
pet dentist.
So nice to meet you!
Guunther, my property manager,
says you are the best!
Tthe most important thing
is the home
is made entirely
of ancient Danish alderwood
and must be kept at precisely
64.2% humidity at all times
thus... The air-lock
pressurization chamber.
There are many rules about
who can enter the home
which unfortunately I cannot
go over with you now.
Grumpy cat has a cavity,
And I must fly
to Milan at once.
Isn't grumpy cat dead?
Okay, fine.
It's grumpy cat's mistress.
Now you know everything!
I trust Mr. Umlaut
filled you in
on the home's
unique attributes.
Roger?
Guunther is the name.
Yes, "Guunther."
Why don't you
show me the house?
Ah, ah, ah.
Before I show you the house,
You must learn
the rules of entry.
Oh this one's important...
"No shoes, no shirts,
no problems."
That's three
separate rules.
Shoes scuff the floor.
Cotton shirts
steal moisture.
And leave your problems
at the door,
Because this home does not
respond well to negative energy.
Geric, I'm having real problems
selling that Danish house.
- Love it!
- What?
No, the business manager,
Guunther,
is making it impossible
to even get buyers
into the house.
Which makes for
great television!
I didn't become the fourth
richest man in Langley
by selling houses.
I made my fortune
being a TV star.
That's where
I know you from!
Look, you just keep fighting
with cinnamon-bun-hair,
and I'll give you
a second listing.
It's a sick mid-century
bachelor pad that...
Another listing, eh?
And she wasn't even
gonna tell me, eh?
When did I start saying "eh"
so much, eh?
How many tuna sandwiches
did I have today, eh?
Look at this fool,
man.
It takes him forever
to make a coffee.
Psh. You know you and I could
streamline his operation
and double profits
in a second.
Move it into the...
Garage,
train a couple more people,
- Change the ordering system...
- Stop.
You had me at "Jeff,
you have no say in this."
I have an amazing new listing.
A mid-century bachelor pad
perfect for a rich bachelor
or a rich barren couple.
To pull in those
desirable buyers,
I'm gonna throw
an extravagant
'60s Martini party
with a bar in the back.
Can I get a Martini?
Just a sec,
making a batch right now.
And what '60s party
would be complete
without a little acid?
As you can see, indoor-outdoor
living at its finest.
What the hell?!
Roger!
You dosed all these people!
I don't know what
you're talking about.
I'm Jameson Mcsmirnoff,
bartender for hire.
Roger!
Excuse me!
I love this house.
Like, I am in love with it.
It has feelings
and I have feelings
and we have feelings
for each other.
I have to buy this house.
I have the money.
I'll pay you double.
Please!
You got in at the right time,
Stan.
I don't know, Klaus,
all that new equipment
kinda set me back.
Now's the time
to turn the profit.
You gotta cut costs.
Get cheaper beans.
And I know the place.
I got some boys
down in b-town
that said
they can get me a deal.
Bogotá? Sounds legit.
We're in.
Cool.
You gonna tell Jeff?
No.
Cool.
I'm feeling good.
Not only did I sell
the mid-century bachelor pad,
but I also think I have a buyer
for the Danish house.
I thought
you had a buyer.
I do.
He's right here.
On my phone.
Oh.
Then I guess you can
bring him in.
Wait!
Does he have proof of funds?
Not only do I have the money
but I have the funny!
Is that the CEO
of Octadual?
He's funnier
than I remember.
Oh, Francine!
Just heard you sold
that humid Danish house
and Cinnamon Bun
was pissed!
Hey, I'm a closer.
That's why I'm giving you
the dream listing,
Chateau Langley!
Thank you, Geric!
I promise to make you
and Trashelle proud.
Oh, yeah, Trashelle,
my missing
and presumed dead employee!
Congratulations on your
new listing, Francine.
How did you know
I was here?
Oh, I'm just following you 24/7
at this point.
But I came to apologize.
Really?
Yes.
I shouldn't have interfered.
If I had just let you
do real estate
your dumb, boring way,
You would have ruined the show
and been fired.
I knew
you weren't sorry!
I was supposed to be the one
that got the spot!
I was the one that went
to the open house
and hid in a spice rack
until it was over
and pushed Trashelle
into the ravine.
- Roger!
- Quit the show, Francine.
Or I will make every day
of your real-estate life hell.
I'll treat you fine at home,
but...
- Oh, God!
- Aah!
Roger! Help!
Aah!
Francine!
I hope she's okay.
Here's some cornnuts!
I'll come get you
in a couple months
when I get bored of this.
I'm hungry.
Thank God I tied a string
to those cornnuts.
Hey! Let go!
Aaah!
I've said it before,
and I'll say it again...
Thank god I tied a string
to these cornnuts!
Good, you're up.
Trashelle?
A fan.
And you are?
Francine.
I actually took your spot on
the show after you disappeared.
And I know the person
that pushed you down here.
That little
goblin woman?
Yes.
I'm so sorry you're down here.
Don't be!
Getting pushed in the ravine
was the best thing
that's ever happened to me.
Don't you miss
real estate?
Oh, I'm still
in real estate.
I'm selling trees
like crazy out here.
I just helped
a growing squirrel family
buy their first oak
this morning.
Makes it all worth it.
How do squirrels
buy things?
It's a pretty complicated
currency system
based on the disputed weight
of an average acorn.
Trashelle, you have
a big bump on your head.
I do?
Where?
Alalalalalala.
But, hey, you know what they say
about squirrel real estate...
It's nuts!
Oh, no.
Alright,
Langley listings real estate,
major announcement!
Hey, where's Geric?
Why isn't he
our boss anymore?
Shut up, trad!
I run the show now!
Everyone needs to stop fixating
on Geric and his whereabouts
and start focusing
on tomorrow's big event...
Tristan's Baptism!
Where am I?
I got Trashelle's fiancé,
Tristan,
and tomorrow he is gonna convert
to christianity for me!
It'll be the biggest event
in "Langley Dollar Listings"
history!
This is so weird.
Can I please go back
to my condo?
If I don't
show up on Thursday,
my spin class
will come looking for me.
No, clephanie,
you can't.
We're all gonna stay here
and hook up and fight
so we have a lot
of drama tomorrow.
Vebastian,
kiss Trad on the lips.
Uh, no!
Drama!
Are you getting
my good side?
Trick question.
I have two good sides.
It's my front
that's the problem.
Well,
better start climbing.
Damn.
Sure is steep.
Oh that reminds me!
I have something for you.
Chonkers!
Your famous
10-inch heels?!
They're super sharp
and will help you climb out.
Plus they're pretty unwieldy
out here.
I actually accidentally
killed a client of mine
backing up the other day.
You sure you don't
want to go back with me?
No.
No, I'm not.
Now go be the star of
"Langley Dollar Listings"!
And tell Tristan
I'll always love him.
Until his mid-20s!
Whoo!
I got to
hand it to you Klaus,
with the Colombian beans
you ordered,
we're moving
a lot more cups.
Yeah, people like this coffee
a lot more than Jeff's.
People are passionate
about this coffee.
Yesterday a guy said
he'd blow me for a cup.
I'll do a lot more
than that!
That was
my opening offer!
Cup of Joe for my hard-workin'
brethren at the DEA?
We have reason to believe
cocaine has been
coming into the country
through coffee shipments
to this store,
and the coffee itself
may be coated in cocaine.
Ohhhh.
Makes sense.
Shut it down!
Can we still go to the aquarium?
And now, by the powers
vested in me
by tendollarreverend. Com,
I baptize thee!
No, please.
Yoga's my religion!
But you'd convert
for Trashelle.
I loved her!
I don't even know
who you are!
Yay!
You're Christian now!
Stop this baptism at once!
Hey, that's the lady we worked
with for a little while.
Francine,
you're okay!
I came to
take the show back.
Oh, look who's
all empowered now.
Whoever captures her gets three
extra close-ups an episode!
You should be
stopping her!
She pushed Trashelle into
the bottom of the ravine
Where she's still alive
and well... ish.
Praise Jesus!
That's a lie!
And even if it isn't,
she certainly has no proof.
Trashelle's heels!
I don't like this drama.
This is bad drama.
that's the state-of-the-art
Home security
lockdown function!
We gotta
get out of here!
Help!
Oh, thank God!
It's like
"the descent" in here!
I never saw that movie.
Yes, you did.
We saw it together!
That was "hostel"!
No, we saw "descent"
because we liked "hostel."
You know what?
Forget it.
Just promise me
you'll quit the show
And I'll let you go.
Never!
I think I know a way out.
Where are we?
The east wing.
We just passed
the dog gym.
That would be perfect
for my French bulldog.
She's gotten too fat
for her wedding dress.
ow, my feet!
The floor is burning!
The whole house
has heated floors!
He must've
jacked them way up.
Come on!
Jump!
The home still has many of
the original medieval passages.
Gotta be honest, guys.
You found a room
with no camera in it.
Your feet burnin' off yet?
You ready to give up?
Francine, thank you
for saving my life.
And for selling
this house.
You're welcome,
but I didn't sell the house.
But you did, to me!
This place has everything
I've been looking for
in a house.
That's why I started
"Langley Dollar Listings"
in the first place.
Only one problem.
You can't buy it, because you're
at the bottom of the ravine.
no, I'm not...
Ahhhhhh!
Ahhhhhhhhhhh!
Aaaaaaaaaaah!
Tristan saved my life.
Did you let him out
of the cage?
No.
It was me, Francine!
Good ol' chonkers!
I always had a thing
for you.
Alalalala.
So, you guys got
the show canceled?
Yeah, and they replaced it
with some lame new show.
Hey, I'm in this show.
Bye!
Have a beautiful time!
their orgasms sound remarkably
like human orgasms.
Hear for yourself.
Okay.
- Move it!
- We're taking over.
But the chimpanzees'
orgasms...
sound just like humans.
Everybody knows!
This is
"Langley Dollar Listings"!
And it's filmed here.
In Langley heights,
to be exact.
Very exclusive.
You would never be allowed
up there, Steve.
Here are the realtors!
Trad. Lame.
Clephanie. Lamer.
Vebastian.
Nice guy, horrible realtor.
Trashelle... Trashelle...
Who's she?
She's hands-down
the best realtor.
She has
the coolest car...
Ghost black
range rover.
- ...The biggest heels...
- 10-inchers.
...And the hottest
boyfriend.
Tristan, a 19-year-old
yoga model
Who's converting
to christianity for her
Even though
he's never heard of it.
She's what I would be
if I were a TV realtor.
Tough, smart,
a stone-cold closer.
But the reason she's the best
is because
She's like me,
dramatic!
No, she's the best
because she's so smart.
She always gets the right buyers
through the door.
Nuh-unh.
It's the drama!
You're so stupid,
you remind me of Clephanie.
I remind you
of a bad bitch
That drives a tricked-out
Kia Sonata?
Keep trying to insult me.
You're doing great.
Hyundai
makes the Sonata.
Kia
makes the sorento.
Shut up, Steve, you're such a vebastian!
Whoa! Whoa!
♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪
♪ I got a feelin' that
it's gonna be a wonderful day ♪
♪ The sun in the sky
has a smile on his face ♪
♪ And he's shinin' a salute
to the American race ♪
♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say ♪
♪ Good... ♪
♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪
Aah!
♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪
*AMERICAN DAD!*
*AMERICAN DAD (2005)*
Season 17 Episode 01 (IMDB)
Episode Title: "Langley Dollar Listings"
Aired on: January 24, 2022.
Hey, geric, what's up?
That's geric.
He runs the agency
and gives out all the listings.
Oh, Trashelle,
I've got some big news!
I'm giving you
the biggest listing
in "Langley Dollar Listings"
history... Chateau Langley!
Oh, my God!
Chateau Langley
is a 24-bedroom castle
that overlooks
the amazing Langley ravine
and hasn't been on the market
in 780 years.
That's, like,
before Columbus...
Shut up!
I'm gonna go.
Get out of here!
Gahhh!
Steve's terrible at watching TV.
Aquarium trip!
I'm only paying for
the first three people!
Did I make it?
Barely.
What's that?
Fancy pour-over coffees
I made for us.
Sorry, Jeff,
I'm not interested.
Because it was made
by you.
I understand.
I'll buy that cup of coffee
off ya.
I was on my way
to the coffee shop!
Mmm, wow,
this is amazing coffee!
How much?
One money.
Here you go!
I would've paid
way more.
There.
You got a little dollar, Jeff.
Happy?
No!
I'm gonna get a lot
of little dollars!
'Cause I'm gonna start
selling my coffee
to people walking by
on their way to the coffee shop
right now!
Instead of going
to the aquarium?
Yes.
'cause that's how serious I am.
I'm willing to give up laughing
at the sea otters for this.
Sorry, laughing
with the sea otters.
Did we make
the aquarium cut?
Nobody's going
to the aquarium.
I guess we're doing
a coffee shop this week.
Oh, no!
I got all dolled up
to ask out that hot octopus.
You saw her
on the news!
She picked two of the last
seven presidents.
As everyone knows,
I recently gave Trashelle
the chateau Langley listing.
- Boo!
- Boo!
But as everyone
doesn't know,
Trashelle
has gone missing!
Alright, gang, the posters
have been up
for a solid couple hours.
It is time to for us to accept
Trashelle is not coming back.
So let's all
consider her dead.
That's why we're turning to you,
loyal viewer!
Instead of seeking a new agent
through professional avenues,
we're asking our viewers
to audition!
I'm Memphis stormfront,
and look at all these idiots
standing in line,
praying to be the newest realtor
on the smash-hit show,
"Langley Dollar Listings."
482...
Stormfront!
So long,
loyal viewers.
I can finally admit
I've always hated weather.
Even though I've been
a realtor before,
I stayed up watching
all the Trashelle episodes
so I could sound
smart like her.
483... Francine!
Francine, that's you.
Right!
I was so focused on being smart
I forgot my name for a second.
I know how to get the right
buyers through the door.
And how is that?
I actually...
Don't know.
I was just saying that.
No, that's fine.
The attitude
is right.
Can you tell me
what these images are?
Door, window,
for-sale sign.
Thank you.
Send the next one in.
I'm Shebecca Escrow,
and I'll do anything
to sell a house.
I'll have sex
with all the clients.
I'll have sex
with all the buyers.
And I'll have sex
with all of you.
Hmm.
I had so much fun
make-believing
I was a TV realtor today.
And now to eat at the same
salad bucket
the realtors
on the show eat at.
A lot of people
don't like salads
'cause they're not
filling enough.
That's why I always
order mine all-garbanzo.
This bad boy's
about 30 pounds.
Should keep me going
right into nap time.
Gotta be honest, pretty sure
I got the job today.
I had sex with geric
and the other judge.
And then to make sure
the job was mine,
I also had sex
with the cameraman
And the door handle
on the way out.
Hello?
Yes!
Great!
That was geric.
I got the job!
They said they loved
my personality
and I was the only person
to properly identify
the images of the door, window,
and the for-sale sign.
Window.
Ahhh!
There's your window!
Ahhh!
I'm the new agent,
Francine.
I'm like a lemur monkey...
Mostly business,
but I will throw my own shit
at you if I have to.
My first listing
is a Danish modern
owned by a super-rich
pet dentist.
So nice to meet you!
Guunther, my property manager,
says you are the best!
Tthe most important thing
is the home
is made entirely
of ancient Danish alderwood
and must be kept at precisely
64.2% humidity at all times
thus... The air-lock
pressurization chamber.
There are many rules about
who can enter the home
which unfortunately I cannot
go over with you now.
Grumpy cat has a cavity,
And I must fly
to Milan at once.
Isn't grumpy cat dead?
Okay, fine.
It's grumpy cat's mistress.
Now you know everything!
I trust Mr. Umlaut
filled you in
on the home's
unique attributes.
Roger?
Guunther is the name.
Yes, "Guunther."
Why don't you
show me the house?
Ah, ah, ah.
Before I show you the house,
You must learn
the rules of entry.
Oh this one's important...
"No shoes, no shirts,
no problems."
That's three
separate rules.
Shoes scuff the floor.
Cotton shirts
steal moisture.
And leave your problems
at the door,
Because this home does not
respond well to negative energy.
Geric, I'm having real problems
selling that Danish house.
- Love it!
- What?
No, the business manager,
Guunther,
is making it impossible
to even get buyers
into the house.
Which makes for
great television!
I didn't become the fourth
richest man in Langley
by selling houses.
I made my fortune
being a TV star.
That's where
I know you from!
Look, you just keep fighting
with cinnamon-bun-hair,
and I'll give you
a second listing.
It's a sick mid-century
bachelor pad that...
Another listing, eh?
And she wasn't even
gonna tell me, eh?
When did I start saying "eh"
so much, eh?
How many tuna sandwiches
did I have today, eh?
Look at this fool,
man.
It takes him forever
to make a coffee.
Psh. You know you and I could
streamline his operation
and double profits
in a second.
Move it into the...
Garage,
train a couple more people,
- Change the ordering system...
- Stop.
You had me at "Jeff,
you have no say in this."
I have an amazing new listing.
A mid-century bachelor pad
perfect for a rich bachelor
or a rich barren couple.
To pull in those
desirable buyers,
I'm gonna throw
an extravagant
'60s Martini party
with a bar in the back.
Can I get a Martini?
Just a sec,
making a batch right now.
And what '60s party
would be complete
without a little acid?
As you can see, indoor-outdoor
living at its finest.
What the hell?!
Roger!
You dosed all these people!
I don't know what
you're talking about.
I'm Jameson Mcsmirnoff,
bartender for hire.
Roger!
Excuse me!
I love this house.
Like, I am in love with it.
It has feelings
and I have feelings
and we have feelings
for each other.
I have to buy this house.
I have the money.
I'll pay you double.
Please!
You got in at the right time,
Stan.
I don't know, Klaus,
all that new equipment
kinda set me back.
Now's the time
to turn the profit.
You gotta cut costs.
Get cheaper beans.
And I know the place.
I got some boys
down in b-town
that said
they can get me a deal.
Bogotá? Sounds legit.
We're in.
Cool.
You gonna tell Jeff?
No.
Cool.
I'm feeling good.
Not only did I sell
the mid-century bachelor pad,
but I also think I have a buyer
for the Danish house.
I thought
you had a buyer.
I do.
He's right here.
On my phone.
Oh.
Then I guess you can
bring him in.
Wait!
Does he have proof of funds?
Not only do I have the money
but I have the funny!
Is that the CEO
of Octadual?
He's funnier
than I remember.
Oh, Francine!
Just heard you sold
that humid Danish house
and Cinnamon Bun
was pissed!
Hey, I'm a closer.
That's why I'm giving you
the dream listing,
Chateau Langley!
Thank you, Geric!
I promise to make you
and Trashelle proud.
Oh, yeah, Trashelle,
my missing
and presumed dead employee!
Congratulations on your
new listing, Francine.
How did you know
I was here?
Oh, I'm just following you 24/7
at this point.
But I came to apologize.
Really?
Yes.
I shouldn't have interfered.
If I had just let you
do real estate
your dumb, boring way,
You would have ruined the show
and been fired.
I knew
you weren't sorry!
I was supposed to be the one
that got the spot!
I was the one that went
to the open house
and hid in a spice rack
until it was over
and pushed Trashelle
into the ravine.
- Roger!
- Quit the show, Francine.
Or I will make every day
of your real-estate life hell.
I'll treat you fine at home,
but...
- Oh, God!
- Aah!
Roger! Help!
Aah!
Francine!
I hope she's okay.
Here's some cornnuts!
I'll come get you
in a couple months
when I get bored of this.
I'm hungry.
Thank God I tied a string
to those cornnuts.
Hey! Let go!
Aaah!
I've said it before,
and I'll say it again...
Thank god I tied a string
to these cornnuts!
Good, you're up.
Trashelle?
A fan.
And you are?
Francine.
I actually took your spot on
the show after you disappeared.
And I know the person
that pushed you down here.
That little
goblin woman?
Yes.
I'm so sorry you're down here.
Don't be!
Getting pushed in the ravine
was the best thing
that's ever happened to me.
Don't you miss
real estate?
Oh, I'm still
in real estate.
I'm selling trees
like crazy out here.
I just helped
a growing squirrel family
buy their first oak
this morning.
Makes it all worth it.
How do squirrels
buy things?
It's a pretty complicated
currency system
based on the disputed weight
of an average acorn.
Trashelle, you have
a big bump on your head.
I do?
Where?
Alalalalalala.
But, hey, you know what they say
about squirrel real estate...
It's nuts!
Oh, no.
Alright,
Langley listings real estate,
major announcement!
Hey, where's Geric?
Why isn't he
our boss anymore?
Shut up, trad!
I run the show now!
Everyone needs to stop fixating
on Geric and his whereabouts
and start focusing
on tomorrow's big event...
Tristan's Baptism!
Where am I?
I got Trashelle's fiancé,
Tristan,
and tomorrow he is gonna convert
to christianity for me!
It'll be the biggest event
in "Langley Dollar Listings"
history!
This is so weird.
Can I please go back
to my condo?
If I don't
show up on Thursday,
my spin class
will come looking for me.
No, clephanie,
you can't.
We're all gonna stay here
and hook up and fight
so we have a lot
of drama tomorrow.
Vebastian,
kiss Trad on the lips.
Uh, no!
Drama!
Are you getting
my good side?
Trick question.
I have two good sides.
It's my front
that's the problem.
Well,
better start climbing.
Damn.
Sure is steep.
Oh that reminds me!
I have something for you.
Chonkers!
Your famous
10-inch heels?!
They're super sharp
and will help you climb out.
Plus they're pretty unwieldy
out here.
I actually accidentally
killed a client of mine
backing up the other day.
You sure you don't
want to go back with me?
No.
No, I'm not.
Now go be the star of
"Langley Dollar Listings"!
And tell Tristan
I'll always love him.
Until his mid-20s!
Whoo!
I got to
hand it to you Klaus,
with the Colombian beans
you ordered,
we're moving
a lot more cups.
Yeah, people like this coffee
a lot more than Jeff's.
People are passionate
about this coffee.
Yesterday a guy said
he'd blow me for a cup.
I'll do a lot more
than that!
That was
my opening offer!
Cup of Joe for my hard-workin'
brethren at the DEA?
We have reason to believe
cocaine has been
coming into the country
through coffee shipments
to this store,
and the coffee itself
may be coated in cocaine.
Ohhhh.
Makes sense.
Shut it down!
Can we still go to the aquarium?
And now, by the powers
vested in me
by tendollarreverend. Com,
I baptize thee!
No, please.
Yoga's my religion!
But you'd convert
for Trashelle.
I loved her!
I don't even know
who you are!
Yay!
You're Christian now!
Stop this baptism at once!
Hey, that's the lady we worked
with for a little while.
Francine,
you're okay!
I came to
take the show back.
Oh, look who's
all empowered now.
Whoever captures her gets three
extra close-ups an episode!
You should be
stopping her!
She pushed Trashelle into
the bottom of the ravine
Where she's still alive
and well... ish.
Praise Jesus!
That's a lie!
And even if it isn't,
she certainly has no proof.
Trashelle's heels!
I don't like this drama.
This is bad drama.
that's the state-of-the-art
Home security
lockdown function!
We gotta
get out of here!
Help!
Oh, thank God!
It's like
"the descent" in here!
I never saw that movie.
Yes, you did.
We saw it together!
That was "hostel"!
No, we saw "descent"
because we liked "hostel."
You know what?
Forget it.
Just promise me
you'll quit the show
And I'll let you go.
Never!
I think I know a way out.
Where are we?
The east wing.
We just passed
the dog gym.
That would be perfect
for my French bulldog.
She's gotten too fat
for her wedding dress.
ow, my feet!
The floor is burning!
The whole house
has heated floors!
He must've
jacked them way up.
Come on!
Jump!
The home still has many of
the original medieval passages.
Gotta be honest, guys.
You found a room
with no camera in it.
Your feet burnin' off yet?
You ready to give up?
Francine, thank you
for saving my life.
And for selling
this house.
You're welcome,
but I didn't sell the house.
But you did, to me!
This place has everything
I've been looking for
in a house.
That's why I started
"Langley Dollar Listings"
in the first place.
Only one problem.
You can't buy it, because you're
at the bottom of the ravine.
no, I'm not...
Ahhhhhh!
Ahhhhhhhhhhh!
Aaaaaaaaaaah!
Tristan saved my life.
Did you let him out
of the cage?
No.
It was me, Francine!
Good ol' chonkers!
I always had a thing
for you.
Alalalala.
So, you guys got
the show canceled?
Yeah, and they replaced it
with some lame new show.
Hey, I'm in this show.
Bye!
Have a beautiful time!