Amazing Stories (1985–1987): Season 2, Episode 17 - Gershwin's Trunk - full transcript
Frantic to deliver a hit musical, conniving Broadway composer Jo-Jo Gillespie contacts the spirit of George Gershwin through psychic Sister Teresa, and makes marvelous music from beyond the grave.
[ No Audible Dialogue ]
[ No Audible Dialogue ]
[ Ticking ]
[ Keys Rattling ]
[ Grunts ]
[ Water Running ]
[ Doorbell Rings ]
[ Doorbell Rings ]
- Who is it?
- [ Man ]
My name is Watts.
I think I have something
that belongs to you.
A silver pen
with your name on it?
Where'd you find it?
You left it
on the Manhattan Bridge
about 45 minutes ago.
Thanks for your trouble.
[ Exhales ]
Wouldn't you like to know
what I was doing on the
Manhattan Bridge at 1:00 a.m.?
No, frankly, I wouldn't.
If you don't mind,
it's very late, and
I'd like to go to sleep.
As a matter of fact, I was
watching you dump somebody's
body into the East River.
You're mistaken.
That was old clothes.
Goodwill doesn't pick up
anymore, you know?
Old clothes don't usually need
a tire jack stuffed in with them
to make sure they'll sink.
I was passing your building.
I saw you putting the bag
into the trunk of your car.
In my business, you learn
to recognize the outline
of a head and shoulders.
- So I followed you
to the bridge.
- Who are you?
A detective
with the New York
Police Department.
Very nice,
the way you big deal
Broadway composers live.
Who's that?
Your father?
The greatest composer of music
the American theater has ever
produced-- George Gershwin.
Nice piano.
How often do you
have it tuned?
Whenever I have to.
And, uh, how often
do you wash
your candelabra?
Look, Mr. Watts,
you have no basis
for your accusation,
so I suggest that unless
you have a warrant--
- [ Papers Rustle ]
- Hmm.
[ Singsong ]
"C", "C",
"E", "E", "D", "E".
"C."
I always liked music.
My family couldn't
afford the lessons.
Oh, look at that.
Somebody spilled
his bloody mary.
[ Chuckles ]
You wouldn't have
liked him.
He was a total slime.
You better get your coat,
Mr. Gillespie.
- I'm afraid I'm going to
have to take you downtown.
- You like music?
What do you
think of this?
? Balboa thought
it was terrific ?
? When he discovered
the Pacific ?
? Columbus sailed
the ocean blue ??
That's cute.
Is it yours?
- It is, and it isn't.
- What does that mean?
- Had a partner.
His name was Jerry.
- I remember.
You guys were together
a long time.
Yeah,
we split up six months ago.
We decided to work on our own.
I signed on to do
a musical with Logan Webb,
the producer.
Logan is
a very impatient man.
Jo-Jo, we've got to have
those songs by Wednesday.
Couldn't you
at least let me hear
a couple of them?
Listen, Logan,
when I was working
with Jerry,
he used to show our stuff
all over town
before it was ready.
By the time people saw the show,
they thought they were seeing
a revival.
Now that I'm on my own,
things are different. You will
see the songs on Wednesday.
Laurie's heard the songs.
Laurie, tell the man.
- Uh, it's-it's his best
work ever, Mr. Webb.
- There. See?
It'll be the only cast in
history to get their songs
on the first day of rehearsal.
[ Laurie ] Don't you
ever do that to me again.
He knew I was lying.
Honey, you were sticking up
for your fella. Think of it
as a higher form of truth.
You're the best, baby.
You gonna eat
those strawberries?
Look who's here, old tin ear.
Don't you know you can't afford
this table since we broke up?
- Hi, Jerry. Think of
a rhyme for June yet?
- Stop it, Jo-Jo.
- Hi, Laurie.
- Hi, Jerry.
I understand you're
going to Aruba.
[ Jo-Jo ]
Where did you hear that?
Carmen,
the cleaning lady,
of course.
I thought I'd take
a little time off
to be by myself.
You're by yourself now.
I think Carmen,
the cleaning lady, should
stick to her vacuum cleaning...
and stop acting
like a gossip columnist.
- Why don't you fire her?
- Why don't you?
- No, you fire her.
- That's why she'll always
work for both of you.
Face it, Jo-Jo,
you'd be lost without her.
- He's right, Jo-Jo.
You do depend on her.
- What?
I do not depend on her
for anything.
Who the hell's side
are you on, anyway?
- [ Vacuuming ]
- ?? [ Light ]
[ Ringing ]
Would somebody
answer the phone, please?
I am trying to work here.
Mr. Jo-Jo's apartment.
This is Carmen speaking.
Ah, hello, Mr. Webb.
Oh, no, I'm so sorry.
He just went out
one minute ago.
But if you're calling
about the songs, Mr. Webb,
they are the most
beautiful songs I ever--
All right, Mr. Webb,
I tell him.
Wednesday.
- [ Vacuuming Resumes ]
- Well, you picked
a great time, didn't you?
I've been working
on this thing for three months,
and I don't have note one,
and now you're leaving me.
Will you cut
that thing off?
Honey, I'm so sorry
I yelled at you.
I'm under a tremendous
amount of pressure.
I've just gotta top Jerry
with my show, honey.
Aw, sweetie, didn't we
have a great time
in Atlantic City?
? You got to admit
it was pretty
in old Atlantic City ?
- [ Slams ]
- [ Bangs Keys ]
What's happening, Carmen?
Where am I going wrong?
I can't seem
to write anything.
I've lost my girl.
Mr. Jo-Jo, last year,
when my little Perrito
disappear, somebody say to me,
"Why you no go see
Sister Teresa?
She find your dog for you."
Carmen, I can't deal
with this psychic
voodoo nonsense.
But Teresa
find Perrito for me,
Mr. Jo-Jo.
She cure Ramon's asthma,
and she make Carmen
fall in love
with Ah Fong.
For a while.
Yeah, uh, I-- I'm going
for a walk, Carmen.
Make sure you lock up,
all right?
[ Clears Throat ]
Um, Sister Teresa?
Either she will
come back immediately, or
she will never come back.
Who?
Oh, forget about Laurie.
What about my music?
- I'm totally blocked.
- Music?
No, no,
I cannot help you.
I am sorry.
Music is too dangerous,
too painful
and too unpredictable.
- Too painful?
- Yes!
It requires a total possession
by the spirit of the master.
It is exhausting.
I'm too old for it.
I must ask you to leave.
Sister Teresa,
you've gotta help me.
- No.
- Music is my life!
I feel like
I'm losing my talent.
Why can't I write
anymore?
Please,
you've got to help me!
[ Groans ]
[ Shrieks ]
[ Shrieking Continues ]
?? [ "Rhapsody In Blue" ]
So you dried up, huh?
That's one thing that
never happened to me.
I couldn't write 'em down
as fast as
I could think 'em up.
"Fascinating Rhythm,"
"The Man I Love"--
I never stopped.
And there's plenty more
where that came from.
So what do ya need?
Well, uh, the opening tune.
I need a snappy boy-girl duet.
He's a millionaire,
and she's a reporter who--
Never mind the plot,
nobody cares.
I got just the number.
Listen to this.
? Balboa thought
it was terrific ?
? When he discovered
the Pacific ?
? Columbus sailed
the ocean blue ?
? And Marco Polo
found China solo ?
? But I discovered you ?
? Remember Ferdinand Magellan ?
? He saw the straits
and nearly fell in ?
? Cort?s found gold
in old Peru ?
[ Male Singer ]
? Both Clark and Lewis ?
[ Female Singer ]
? Gave rivers to us ?
[ Together ]
? But I discovered you ?
- Not so fast.
- Fabulous.
If the rest
are as good as this,
we've a hit.
Don't worry.
I'm bringing in
more tomorrow.
? Around your heart, dear ?
? Consider Hudson and da Gama ?
? They brought the bacon
home to mama ?
? We give them credit
where it's due ?
- ? Take Spain or Thailand ?
- ? I'll stick with my land ?
? 'Cause I discovered you ??
Uh, Bob.
Terrific tune,
huh, Alan?
Better than anything
he wrote with Jerry.
I knew he wanted to
get off on his own,
but, frankly, I didn't
think he was this good.
- I don't think he is.
- What do you mean?
I know Jo-Jo's style.
I've played every show
he did with Jerry Lane.
He can't write like this.
I'm telling you.
This is someone else's.
Why, Alan,
I'd almost think
you were jealous.
?? [ Ends ]
[ No Audible Dialogue ]
Dinner for one again,
huh, Jer?
Jo-Jo, did you know
our shows are opening
the same night?
No, I heard your show
was in trouble. I thought
you had a little book problem.
Really? I heard
you were having trouble
coming up with the tunes.
Time to dip
into the old trunk,
eh, Jo-Jo?
Trunk, schmunk!
They're the best tunes
I've ever written.
I'd love to play you one,
except you'd steal it.
Oh, you're right.
You always were the one
with the best ideas,
the most... talent.
Would you do me a favor?
Would you listen
to one of my songs?
- From your actual show?
- Mm-hmm. I'd like
an honest opinion.
It's the love song.
? You're my anything
Whatever you want to be ?
? Be anything
and be it eternally ?
It's really
just great, Jer.
I love that.
? You're sexy,
you're smart ?
? You're the Earth
and the moon ?
? The sand and the dune
and the sea ??
I'm moved, Jer.
I'm really moved.
- ?? [ Piano ]
- [ No Audible Dialogue ]
[ No Audible Dialogue ]
[ No Audible Dialogue ]
? Ticklish toes
That's how it goes ?
? Ticklish toes
in my socks ?
? Ticklish toes
Nobody knows ?
? Ticklish toes
Oh, what shocks ?
? You've got me hoppin' ?
? Each evening till 3:00 ?
? Ticklish toes
Ticklish toes ?
- [ Inaudible ]
- ? Ticklish toes
Keep dancin' with me ??
- [ Groans ]
- [ Thud ]
Oh, that was
really good, George.
Only two more to go.
Mr. Jo,
you must go home.
This is killing me.
I told you.
Music always
do this to me.
My heart--
My heart can't stand this.
Teresa, we're so close.
Don't fail me now.
- Pepi. Pepi!
- Forget Pepi!
George, do you hear me?
George, we only have
two more songs left!
- [ Teresa ]
Pepi!
- You must go now, Mr. Jo.
- Go?
- Can I have the $15?
Listen, sonny. I gotta
have one more session
with your mommy.
I don't care what it costs.
I'll give you, uh--
I'll give you $100.
I gotta have
two more songs.
A hundred dollars?
You call back tomorrow,
okay?
God bless you.
I will never forget you.
[ Kisses ]
I love you.
Ethics? What are you
talking about? Ethics.
I'm talking about representing
yourself as the composer
of another man's work.
This is none
of your business, Alan!
Is that what
you're going to say
to Logan Webb?
You make me sick, Jo-Jo.
For eight years now,
I have watched you ride
Jerry Lane's coattails,
and steal ideas
from every composer
in this town.
But this time, you're not
going to get away with it.
It's time somebody
blew the whistle on you,
and I am just the guy who--
[ Sighs ]
Oh, my God.
Oh, God.
[ Grunting ]
Oh.
- [ Panting ]
- [ Splashes ]
? You got me hoppin'
each evenin' till 3:00 ?
? Ticklish toes
Ticklish toes ?
? Ticklish toes
Keep dancin' with me ??
Well, great stuff, huh?
Hell, I'm the new Gershwin.
Oh, this show
is gonna run for years.
How much can a guy make
on a show that
runs for years?
On my last show,
I was making, uh,
about 10,000 a week.
Oh, more than
I could possibly spend.
Tell me, Watts, how would you
like to acquire an interest
in a hit Broadway show?
Meet a lot of pretty girls,
find a dividend check
in your mailbox every month?
It wouldn't
cost you a thing.
I've always loved
show business.
Enough to forget
what you saw
on that bridge tonight?
What do you say?
Ten percent of my share?
Half of your share?
I don't see
how I could refuse.
It's nice to know greed
isn't confined to the arts.
- Then it's a deal.
- Mmm.
I think I'd like a drink.
How about some champagne?
I think a toast
is in order.
Your friend Jerry
has stars in his eyes.
The theater's been good
to you boys.
The muses are fickle,
Watts.
Let's see if he has
stars in his eyes when
his rotten show opens next week.
[ Cork Pops ]
Did you ever have
one of those days?
Life is unpredictable,
isn't it?
And the muses
are fickle.
If I Discovered You should
turn out to be a disappointment
at the box office--
- Yes?
- Naturally,
our deal is off.
I'll drink to that.
This is Trish Tarleton,
Entertainment Tomorrow.
We're here at Sordi's,
talking to two songwriters...
who used to be
Broadway's hottest team.
- Fellas, what happened?
- I'll tell ya what happened,
Trish.
I was sitting
at the piano one day,
and I saw this guy
asleep on the couch,
as usual.
I said, "For this
I'm giving up 50%?"
Well, I'm not going
to stoop to Jo-Jo's level
of personal vindictiveness.
But, uh, let me just say
that after five years
of his irresponsibility,
his pettiness, and
his incipient alcoholism--
Oh, uh, don't forget
to mention nail biting.
And now each of you has
a show opening exactly
one week from tonight.
No, that's really
not quite accurate, Trish.
I have graciously decided
to postpone the opening
of my show for one night.
[ Jerry ]
Oh, really?
Well, that way
the critics can cover
both shows. How nice.
Now, Jerry, I understand
you've got something else
to celebrate.
Isn't there
an engagement
in the wind?
Oh, well, Trish,
no secret is safe
from you, is it?
There's
the lucky young lady
right there.
- Laurie McNamara.
- [ Jo-Jo ]
What?
You creep. How long
has this been going on?
- About a year.
- [ Sighs ]
I'm counting
on an early dinner tonight.
- How come?
- The show will probably close
at intermission.
I'm sure Jerry's score is
a real piece of... cake.
- Hey, Jer.
- Hi, Jo-Jo, glad
you could make it.
- [ Shutters Clicking ]
- I cannot wait to hear
"You're My Anything" tonight.
What?
[ Chuckles ]
Oh, that!
You're such a jerk.
That was a joke!
[ Jo-Jo ]
You invited Carmen
to your opening?
Well, sure.
She's part of the family.
- [ Man ]
Curtain going up.
- Oh. Oh, go ahead.
I'll see you inside.
[ Instruments Tuning ]
Teach me about
show business.
Why did you let Jerry
open his show before yours?
Well, because my success
will taste sweeter
in the wake of his failure.
I hope you brought
something interesting
to read.
?? [ Orchestra ]
That sounds familiar.
Sister Teresa?
What is she doing here?
? Balboa thought
it was terrific ?
? When he discovered
the Pacific ?
? Columbus sailed
the ocean blue ?
[ Male Singer ]
? And Marco Polo ?
[ Female Singer ]
? Found China solo ?
[ Together ]
? But I discovered you ?
Jo-Jo, what's our song
doing in this show?
I have no idea.
Where are you going?
To cancel our opening,
and to call my lawyer.
One of you guys
is in big trouble.
? Consider Hudson and da Gama ?
? They brought the bacon
home to mama ?
? We give them credit
where it's due ?
Listen, Watts,
this doesn't mean--
We still have a deal, right?
The muses are fickle,
Jo-Jo.
? I'll stick with my land
'cause I discovered-- ?
? I hereby plant the flag ?
? Yes, I discovered you ??
[ Cheering ]
[ No Audible Dialogue ]
[ Ticking ]
[ Keys Rattling ]
[ Grunts ]
[ Water Running ]
[ Doorbell Rings ]
[ Doorbell Rings ]
- Who is it?
- [ Man ]
My name is Watts.
I think I have something
that belongs to you.
A silver pen
with your name on it?
Where'd you find it?
You left it
on the Manhattan Bridge
about 45 minutes ago.
Thanks for your trouble.
[ Exhales ]
Wouldn't you like to know
what I was doing on the
Manhattan Bridge at 1:00 a.m.?
No, frankly, I wouldn't.
If you don't mind,
it's very late, and
I'd like to go to sleep.
As a matter of fact, I was
watching you dump somebody's
body into the East River.
You're mistaken.
That was old clothes.
Goodwill doesn't pick up
anymore, you know?
Old clothes don't usually need
a tire jack stuffed in with them
to make sure they'll sink.
I was passing your building.
I saw you putting the bag
into the trunk of your car.
In my business, you learn
to recognize the outline
of a head and shoulders.
- So I followed you
to the bridge.
- Who are you?
A detective
with the New York
Police Department.
Very nice,
the way you big deal
Broadway composers live.
Who's that?
Your father?
The greatest composer of music
the American theater has ever
produced-- George Gershwin.
Nice piano.
How often do you
have it tuned?
Whenever I have to.
And, uh, how often
do you wash
your candelabra?
Look, Mr. Watts,
you have no basis
for your accusation,
so I suggest that unless
you have a warrant--
- [ Papers Rustle ]
- Hmm.
[ Singsong ]
"C", "C",
"E", "E", "D", "E".
"C."
I always liked music.
My family couldn't
afford the lessons.
Oh, look at that.
Somebody spilled
his bloody mary.
[ Chuckles ]
You wouldn't have
liked him.
He was a total slime.
You better get your coat,
Mr. Gillespie.
- I'm afraid I'm going to
have to take you downtown.
- You like music?
What do you
think of this?
? Balboa thought
it was terrific ?
? When he discovered
the Pacific ?
? Columbus sailed
the ocean blue ??
That's cute.
Is it yours?
- It is, and it isn't.
- What does that mean?
- Had a partner.
His name was Jerry.
- I remember.
You guys were together
a long time.
Yeah,
we split up six months ago.
We decided to work on our own.
I signed on to do
a musical with Logan Webb,
the producer.
Logan is
a very impatient man.
Jo-Jo, we've got to have
those songs by Wednesday.
Couldn't you
at least let me hear
a couple of them?
Listen, Logan,
when I was working
with Jerry,
he used to show our stuff
all over town
before it was ready.
By the time people saw the show,
they thought they were seeing
a revival.
Now that I'm on my own,
things are different. You will
see the songs on Wednesday.
Laurie's heard the songs.
Laurie, tell the man.
- Uh, it's-it's his best
work ever, Mr. Webb.
- There. See?
It'll be the only cast in
history to get their songs
on the first day of rehearsal.
[ Laurie ] Don't you
ever do that to me again.
He knew I was lying.
Honey, you were sticking up
for your fella. Think of it
as a higher form of truth.
You're the best, baby.
You gonna eat
those strawberries?
Look who's here, old tin ear.
Don't you know you can't afford
this table since we broke up?
- Hi, Jerry. Think of
a rhyme for June yet?
- Stop it, Jo-Jo.
- Hi, Laurie.
- Hi, Jerry.
I understand you're
going to Aruba.
[ Jo-Jo ]
Where did you hear that?
Carmen,
the cleaning lady,
of course.
I thought I'd take
a little time off
to be by myself.
You're by yourself now.
I think Carmen,
the cleaning lady, should
stick to her vacuum cleaning...
and stop acting
like a gossip columnist.
- Why don't you fire her?
- Why don't you?
- No, you fire her.
- That's why she'll always
work for both of you.
Face it, Jo-Jo,
you'd be lost without her.
- He's right, Jo-Jo.
You do depend on her.
- What?
I do not depend on her
for anything.
Who the hell's side
are you on, anyway?
- [ Vacuuming ]
- ?? [ Light ]
[ Ringing ]
Would somebody
answer the phone, please?
I am trying to work here.
Mr. Jo-Jo's apartment.
This is Carmen speaking.
Ah, hello, Mr. Webb.
Oh, no, I'm so sorry.
He just went out
one minute ago.
But if you're calling
about the songs, Mr. Webb,
they are the most
beautiful songs I ever--
All right, Mr. Webb,
I tell him.
Wednesday.
- [ Vacuuming Resumes ]
- Well, you picked
a great time, didn't you?
I've been working
on this thing for three months,
and I don't have note one,
and now you're leaving me.
Will you cut
that thing off?
Honey, I'm so sorry
I yelled at you.
I'm under a tremendous
amount of pressure.
I've just gotta top Jerry
with my show, honey.
Aw, sweetie, didn't we
have a great time
in Atlantic City?
? You got to admit
it was pretty
in old Atlantic City ?
- [ Slams ]
- [ Bangs Keys ]
What's happening, Carmen?
Where am I going wrong?
I can't seem
to write anything.
I've lost my girl.
Mr. Jo-Jo, last year,
when my little Perrito
disappear, somebody say to me,
"Why you no go see
Sister Teresa?
She find your dog for you."
Carmen, I can't deal
with this psychic
voodoo nonsense.
But Teresa
find Perrito for me,
Mr. Jo-Jo.
She cure Ramon's asthma,
and she make Carmen
fall in love
with Ah Fong.
For a while.
Yeah, uh, I-- I'm going
for a walk, Carmen.
Make sure you lock up,
all right?
[ Clears Throat ]
Um, Sister Teresa?
Either she will
come back immediately, or
she will never come back.
Who?
Oh, forget about Laurie.
What about my music?
- I'm totally blocked.
- Music?
No, no,
I cannot help you.
I am sorry.
Music is too dangerous,
too painful
and too unpredictable.
- Too painful?
- Yes!
It requires a total possession
by the spirit of the master.
It is exhausting.
I'm too old for it.
I must ask you to leave.
Sister Teresa,
you've gotta help me.
- No.
- Music is my life!
I feel like
I'm losing my talent.
Why can't I write
anymore?
Please,
you've got to help me!
[ Groans ]
[ Shrieks ]
[ Shrieking Continues ]
?? [ "Rhapsody In Blue" ]
So you dried up, huh?
That's one thing that
never happened to me.
I couldn't write 'em down
as fast as
I could think 'em up.
"Fascinating Rhythm,"
"The Man I Love"--
I never stopped.
And there's plenty more
where that came from.
So what do ya need?
Well, uh, the opening tune.
I need a snappy boy-girl duet.
He's a millionaire,
and she's a reporter who--
Never mind the plot,
nobody cares.
I got just the number.
Listen to this.
? Balboa thought
it was terrific ?
? When he discovered
the Pacific ?
? Columbus sailed
the ocean blue ?
? And Marco Polo
found China solo ?
? But I discovered you ?
? Remember Ferdinand Magellan ?
? He saw the straits
and nearly fell in ?
? Cort?s found gold
in old Peru ?
[ Male Singer ]
? Both Clark and Lewis ?
[ Female Singer ]
? Gave rivers to us ?
[ Together ]
? But I discovered you ?
- Not so fast.
- Fabulous.
If the rest
are as good as this,
we've a hit.
Don't worry.
I'm bringing in
more tomorrow.
? Around your heart, dear ?
? Consider Hudson and da Gama ?
? They brought the bacon
home to mama ?
? We give them credit
where it's due ?
- ? Take Spain or Thailand ?
- ? I'll stick with my land ?
? 'Cause I discovered you ??
Uh, Bob.
Terrific tune,
huh, Alan?
Better than anything
he wrote with Jerry.
I knew he wanted to
get off on his own,
but, frankly, I didn't
think he was this good.
- I don't think he is.
- What do you mean?
I know Jo-Jo's style.
I've played every show
he did with Jerry Lane.
He can't write like this.
I'm telling you.
This is someone else's.
Why, Alan,
I'd almost think
you were jealous.
?? [ Ends ]
[ No Audible Dialogue ]
Dinner for one again,
huh, Jer?
Jo-Jo, did you know
our shows are opening
the same night?
No, I heard your show
was in trouble. I thought
you had a little book problem.
Really? I heard
you were having trouble
coming up with the tunes.
Time to dip
into the old trunk,
eh, Jo-Jo?
Trunk, schmunk!
They're the best tunes
I've ever written.
I'd love to play you one,
except you'd steal it.
Oh, you're right.
You always were the one
with the best ideas,
the most... talent.
Would you do me a favor?
Would you listen
to one of my songs?
- From your actual show?
- Mm-hmm. I'd like
an honest opinion.
It's the love song.
? You're my anything
Whatever you want to be ?
? Be anything
and be it eternally ?
It's really
just great, Jer.
I love that.
? You're sexy,
you're smart ?
? You're the Earth
and the moon ?
? The sand and the dune
and the sea ??
I'm moved, Jer.
I'm really moved.
- ?? [ Piano ]
- [ No Audible Dialogue ]
[ No Audible Dialogue ]
[ No Audible Dialogue ]
? Ticklish toes
That's how it goes ?
? Ticklish toes
in my socks ?
? Ticklish toes
Nobody knows ?
? Ticklish toes
Oh, what shocks ?
? You've got me hoppin' ?
? Each evening till 3:00 ?
? Ticklish toes
Ticklish toes ?
- [ Inaudible ]
- ? Ticklish toes
Keep dancin' with me ??
- [ Groans ]
- [ Thud ]
Oh, that was
really good, George.
Only two more to go.
Mr. Jo,
you must go home.
This is killing me.
I told you.
Music always
do this to me.
My heart--
My heart can't stand this.
Teresa, we're so close.
Don't fail me now.
- Pepi. Pepi!
- Forget Pepi!
George, do you hear me?
George, we only have
two more songs left!
- [ Teresa ]
Pepi!
- You must go now, Mr. Jo.
- Go?
- Can I have the $15?
Listen, sonny. I gotta
have one more session
with your mommy.
I don't care what it costs.
I'll give you, uh--
I'll give you $100.
I gotta have
two more songs.
A hundred dollars?
You call back tomorrow,
okay?
God bless you.
I will never forget you.
[ Kisses ]
I love you.
Ethics? What are you
talking about? Ethics.
I'm talking about representing
yourself as the composer
of another man's work.
This is none
of your business, Alan!
Is that what
you're going to say
to Logan Webb?
You make me sick, Jo-Jo.
For eight years now,
I have watched you ride
Jerry Lane's coattails,
and steal ideas
from every composer
in this town.
But this time, you're not
going to get away with it.
It's time somebody
blew the whistle on you,
and I am just the guy who--
[ Sighs ]
Oh, my God.
Oh, God.
[ Grunting ]
Oh.
- [ Panting ]
- [ Splashes ]
? You got me hoppin'
each evenin' till 3:00 ?
? Ticklish toes
Ticklish toes ?
? Ticklish toes
Keep dancin' with me ??
Well, great stuff, huh?
Hell, I'm the new Gershwin.
Oh, this show
is gonna run for years.
How much can a guy make
on a show that
runs for years?
On my last show,
I was making, uh,
about 10,000 a week.
Oh, more than
I could possibly spend.
Tell me, Watts, how would you
like to acquire an interest
in a hit Broadway show?
Meet a lot of pretty girls,
find a dividend check
in your mailbox every month?
It wouldn't
cost you a thing.
I've always loved
show business.
Enough to forget
what you saw
on that bridge tonight?
What do you say?
Ten percent of my share?
Half of your share?
I don't see
how I could refuse.
It's nice to know greed
isn't confined to the arts.
- Then it's a deal.
- Mmm.
I think I'd like a drink.
How about some champagne?
I think a toast
is in order.
Your friend Jerry
has stars in his eyes.
The theater's been good
to you boys.
The muses are fickle,
Watts.
Let's see if he has
stars in his eyes when
his rotten show opens next week.
[ Cork Pops ]
Did you ever have
one of those days?
Life is unpredictable,
isn't it?
And the muses
are fickle.
If I Discovered You should
turn out to be a disappointment
at the box office--
- Yes?
- Naturally,
our deal is off.
I'll drink to that.
This is Trish Tarleton,
Entertainment Tomorrow.
We're here at Sordi's,
talking to two songwriters...
who used to be
Broadway's hottest team.
- Fellas, what happened?
- I'll tell ya what happened,
Trish.
I was sitting
at the piano one day,
and I saw this guy
asleep on the couch,
as usual.
I said, "For this
I'm giving up 50%?"
Well, I'm not going
to stoop to Jo-Jo's level
of personal vindictiveness.
But, uh, let me just say
that after five years
of his irresponsibility,
his pettiness, and
his incipient alcoholism--
Oh, uh, don't forget
to mention nail biting.
And now each of you has
a show opening exactly
one week from tonight.
No, that's really
not quite accurate, Trish.
I have graciously decided
to postpone the opening
of my show for one night.
[ Jerry ]
Oh, really?
Well, that way
the critics can cover
both shows. How nice.
Now, Jerry, I understand
you've got something else
to celebrate.
Isn't there
an engagement
in the wind?
Oh, well, Trish,
no secret is safe
from you, is it?
There's
the lucky young lady
right there.
- Laurie McNamara.
- [ Jo-Jo ]
What?
You creep. How long
has this been going on?
- About a year.
- [ Sighs ]
I'm counting
on an early dinner tonight.
- How come?
- The show will probably close
at intermission.
I'm sure Jerry's score is
a real piece of... cake.
- Hey, Jer.
- Hi, Jo-Jo, glad
you could make it.
- [ Shutters Clicking ]
- I cannot wait to hear
"You're My Anything" tonight.
What?
[ Chuckles ]
Oh, that!
You're such a jerk.
That was a joke!
[ Jo-Jo ]
You invited Carmen
to your opening?
Well, sure.
She's part of the family.
- [ Man ]
Curtain going up.
- Oh. Oh, go ahead.
I'll see you inside.
[ Instruments Tuning ]
Teach me about
show business.
Why did you let Jerry
open his show before yours?
Well, because my success
will taste sweeter
in the wake of his failure.
I hope you brought
something interesting
to read.
?? [ Orchestra ]
That sounds familiar.
Sister Teresa?
What is she doing here?
? Balboa thought
it was terrific ?
? When he discovered
the Pacific ?
? Columbus sailed
the ocean blue ?
[ Male Singer ]
? And Marco Polo ?
[ Female Singer ]
? Found China solo ?
[ Together ]
? But I discovered you ?
Jo-Jo, what's our song
doing in this show?
I have no idea.
Where are you going?
To cancel our opening,
and to call my lawyer.
One of you guys
is in big trouble.
? Consider Hudson and da Gama ?
? They brought the bacon
home to mama ?
? We give them credit
where it's due ?
Listen, Watts,
this doesn't mean--
We still have a deal, right?
The muses are fickle,
Jo-Jo.
? I'll stick with my land
'cause I discovered-- ?
? I hereby plant the flag ?
? Yes, I discovered you ??
[ Cheering ]