Alternatino with Arturo Castro (2019-…): Season 1, Episode 7 - The Gift - full transcript
Arturo makes a grave miscalculation in his new relationship, a general gets distracted from his mission, and some recent immigrants learn the hard truth about America.
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---
- Happy Latin American
History Month from HBO.
All month long,
we're featuring
the most iconic Latinx
characters from our hit shows.
- My name is Jorge Morales,
and I played a gardener in the
first episode of "Entourage."
- ♪ Oh yeah
- What do I remember about
working on "Entourage"?
- Morning, Jorge.
How you doing?
- Oh, yeah.
Uh, I remember that.
That was it, pretty much.
Turtle was a nice guy.
- Hi, I'm Roberto Ortiz.
I played the gardener who gets
hit by a soccer ball
in a show called "Entourage."
- Watch this show. You ready?
Ooh! Roberto, sorry about that,
buddy.
- Well, I was trying to prune
the hedges.
And then out of nowhere,
the soccer ball hits me
in the leg.
I actually had a line,
but it got cut.
The line was, "Ouch."
What I do remember, though,
was Turtle.
He was a great guy.
- My name is Rico Hernandez,
and on the show "Entourage,"
I played the role
of Gardener #3.
[laughter]
- That's a good one.
You know, it was never
explained why
Turtle had the "I heart cock"
bumper sticker.
It was always implied that
it was E that put it there,
but it was never
explicitly explained.
They never brought it up again.
Always bothered me.
But Turtle...
what a great man.
- And now the actors who play
iconic Latino characters
from the show
"Silicon Valley,"
"Sex and the City,"
"True Blood," and "Girls,"
will join us for
a round table discussion.
Right here on HBO.
[cool percussive music]
♪
- Thank you so much for
helping me with the groceries.
- Oh, no problem.
Anytime. Just here?
- That's fine, yeah/
You're the boy who lives
next door, right?
- Yeah.
- I'm Greta.
Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.
- Ooh, would you like some
provolone?
I just got it.
Fresh slice from the deli.
- Oh, Greta, don't leave me
alone with provolone.
- [laughing]
- Huh?
That's a little cheesy, right?
Wait, is that...
is that a picture of you?
- [chuckles]
I used to be an actress
a long, long time ago.
- Ah, I'm a fellow thespian.
- Oh.
- Yeah.
I actually have an audition for
a J.J. Abrams film tomorrow.
But I'm really nervous
'cause my character has
a Southern accent, and mine
is not very good.
- Oh, Southern accents
are easy.
[drawling] All you gotta do
is talk slow,
drop your G's
like it's hot outside,
and you're fixin' to get drunk
on mint julips.
- Y'all fixin' to go
do some fishin'?
Oh, my God, it's coming
out of my mouth.
- [laughs]
- Wow.
Thank you so much, Greta.
That's crazy.
- I was on Broadway once,
you know.
- That's amazing.
- Yeah.
Then they cast a colored man
on a production of "Showboat."
Never auditioned for
that theater again.
- Ah.
- I forgot about the cheese.
Don't be alone with
the provolone.
[chuckling]
- I just remembered
I have to go.
Sorry, but thank you, bye.
Nice to...okay.
♪
[calm music]
- Welcome, my friends.
You have journeyed far for
this enlightenment ceremony
because you are seeking
answers in your lives.
Are you ready?
- I am.
- Yes, please.
- So ready.
I really need this, you know.
- Breathe deeply.
Sip the ayahuasca tea.
And open your third eye
to a guiding spirit.
Reveal yourselves,
great spirits.
[thunder cracks]
- I am Vopay Magnum, the fox.
- I am Tri Victor, the owl.
- [sniffs] Uh, yeah, what up.
I'm Barry.
I'm a... deer.
- Tell us what form your
guiding spirit has taken.
- Mine is a powerful fox.
- Mine's a brilliant owl.
- Mine says he's a deer,
but he's just some dude in
white jeans wearing antlers.
Is that...is that normal?
- Breathe deeply, and accept
your spirits' wisdom.
- You alone can achieve
your dreams.
- Let curiosity guide
your success.
- You gotta get a drone, dude.
- I'm sorry, what?
- Drones, dude.
You can fly 'em up
to any window.
They got these 4K cameras
on 'em,
and they see everything.
Everything.
- Okay, I feel like I drew
a hard short straw
on my spirit.
- Trust.
Now each of you,
ask for the answer you seek.
- How can I connect better
with others?
- The most basic human need
is to be heard.
- How can I do anything
when I fear I will fail?
- The journey is the reward.
- How can I be a better husband
and father?
- Pfff. Pass.
- No, you can't pass.
You're supposed to help me.
- You want help?
- Yeah.
- Ayahuasca's trash.
You got to get down
with this molly, man.
It's good shit.
- Okay, my spirit,
while I'm on drugs,
is offering me other drugs.
- Shh. Shh!
- Repeat carefully,
as your guides give you
your new mantra.
- I am strong.
I am powerful.
- I am strong.
I am powerful.
- Clear mind, clear thoughts.
- Clear mind, clear thoughts.
- [grunting]
- My spirit animal is just
having sex with the air.
- Yeah!
- Oh, God.
- And so what shall be
your mantra?
- Um, I'm good.
[thunder cracks]
- Ah, it is now time
for your guides
to return to their realm.
- Remember, I am with
you always.
- If you ever need...
- Hey fox, hey owl.
That guy's kind of
a fuckin' narc.
Let's get out of here
back to the spirit realm
and figure out which
one of you's got a pussy.
- Is this a bad trip?
Is this what people mean
when they say bad trip?
- It is all in your mind.
- Oh, no, I'm pretty sure
this is a bad trip.
- Oh, man.
I went full biscuit on some
vodka Gatorades, man.
I think I'm gonna...
[vomiting]
[gasping]
Hey, relax, man.
It's good luck.
- It's good luck?
Is that true?
- It is not true.
- Goddamn it!
- All right, later, bro.
- Fuckin' Barry.
[cool percussive music]
- We turn our focus now
to Hurricane Diego,
category 4 hurricane,
tearing its way from
the Dominican Republic
all the way through Florida.
Our BCN disaster team
is on the scene
giving us up-to-the-minute
reports on the devastation.
Connie, the winds are up to 70
miles per hour?
Am I right?
- Yes, Chuck, I'm sure you can
see behind me
just how fast this wind
is blowing.
I've never seen anything
like it.
- We're all pulling for you.
Next up, we have Denny Lopez
from the Dominican Republic.
- Hi, Chuck!
We're here in
the Dominican Republic!
Where the winds are just
tearing through the city
right now!
It's actually a very
dangerous situation!
People are evacuating
their houses in boats!
- Well, I'm glad
you have a plan.
- Can you please send help?!
- Keep reporting, Denny.
Connie, do you need assistance?
I'm being told we can have a
team to you within 10 minutes.
- I think I'm okay, Chuck.
It seems that the disaster
relief has arrived,
and they are getting some
people to safety.
- Well, we're all praying that
you make it back to safety.
- Chuck, things are getting
progressively worse down here
in the Caribbean!
- Oh, Denny, is that you?
I thought...
I thought everything was good
for you guys.
- I'm really not sure where
you got that idea from, Chuck!
- Well, I'm glad to hear
the disaster relief
has finally arrived.
- Ah, no, I haven't
seen anything
by the way of
disaster relief!
- Speaking of which, Connie,
what can we do to help
the people of Miami?
- I think I'm good.
Uh, some of the rescue workers
had a bunch of spare supplies
and were able to construct
this kind of see-through house
around me.
It's actually quite nice
to hear
the pitter-patter
of rain on the roof.
And one of the temporary
shelters was just overflowing
with toy donations,
so I got this little guy.
- What's his name?
- I named him Chuck!
- Oh, thank you, Connie.
Denny, what did you name
your teddy bear?
Did you name it Chuck?
- What in the fuck are you
talking about?!
- Oh, okay, well, stay dry.
Connie?
- Snug as a bug, Chuck.
- Denny?
- Everybody save yourselves!
[alarm blaring]
- Looks like everyone's
going to be okay.
[cool percussive music]
- Fuck.
- Arturo.
[laughing]
- Roman.
- My man.
- How you doing?
- Good.
- Have you been stealing
any more parts from me?
No, dude, I'm just kidding.
How's work been?
How are you?
- I'm good, you know.
Um, oh, you know that sitcom
that I was on?
- Yeah.
- [sighs]
They wanted to bump me up
to a series regular.
- Congratulations.
- But I passed, you know.
It was just so mainstream.
- No, man, we've all
been there.
Am I right?
Me, specifically.
A lot of times.
- Dude, I mean,
what are you gonna do?
- I don't know.
You know, sometimes it's like,
you know, why am I
still doing this, you know?
Roman gets all
the parts I want.
You know.
- Anyway, are you working
on anything?
- Um...
actually, yeah.
I just...I just found out
I have a callback
for a huge film, man.
- Callback.
Good for you.
- Thanks. [sighs]
I'm really conflicted.
Can I ask you something?
- Yeah.
- So I got audition advice
from my neighbor,
and I'm really hoping
to nail the audition, you know?
She's super racist, man.
I feel really bad,
but I'm wondering
if I should go back to her for
advice for the callback, man.
I really want it.
- You know, personally,
I work from a place of truth,
you know, so I don't really
have a need for acting coaches,
racist or otherwise.
If it were me
and I got the part because of
some racist advice...
I would not be able
to live with myself.
- [sighs] Yeah, you're right.
- Anyway, I should jet.
I got an audition as well.
Fifth one today.
- Wow.
- Ugh, I don't know
how I do it.
- What's it for?
- Oh, just, like,
some J.J. Abrams movie.
- Fuck...
yes!
- Yeah.
- Fuck yes!
- [laughing] Yeah.
- You.
Of course, okay.
- Yeah.
All right.
- Roman.
- Hey, we should get lunch.
- Yeah, we should.
- All right.
- Shit, shit, shit, shit,
shit, shit...
Greta?
Greta.
- Come in. Come in.
I thought it was
that mulatto boy
come to steal my things.
- [whispering]
J.J. Abrams, J.J. Abrams,
J.J. Abrams, J.J. Abrams...
[banging]
- Shoot.
These Oriental electronics.
So confusing.
- Great, before you say
anything else at all,
can you help me with
this callback?
- Of course, dear.
What's the scene?
- Okay.
So the characters, they're in
this big rainstorm.
- Wet your socks.
- Wet my socks?
- If you want them to believe
you're in the rain,
you have to believe it
yourself.
The discomfort you feel
being in the storm
will come through in your
performance.
- God, that makes a lot
of sense.
- That is one scary taco-head.
I can't wait for that
border wall, can you?
- I love cheese.
- Ah.
- I like eating it a lot.
[laughter]
- Never alone with
the provolone.
- Oh, believe me, Greta,
I wish I could do this alone.
- No.
- I can't.
[cool percussive music]
[organ playing]
- Hang on, guys, I'm gonna grab
a hot dog.
Hola.
Uno, por favor.
- One?
Sure.
- Wow, fourteen years
is a long time.
- That's almost as long
as I've been living
in the States.
- Ah.
- Speaking English.
Not studying it.
Just speaking it.
Every day. Fluently.
- Well, practice makes
perfect, as they say.
In English.
- I recommend going to
a Spanish-speaking country.
Oh, there are dozens of them
to choose from.
[dramatic music]
Ah.
Hot dogs,
they're ready.
Six dollars, please.
- Uh, sir, your change.
- Oh, yeah, thanks.
- Shit.
I mean mierda.
[cool percussive music]
[dragon roars]
- [panting]
- [yells]
[tense music]
♪
- Whose blade might I have
the pleasure of meeting?
- None other than the blade
of Matias Balderagon.
- Matias Balderagon.
Son of Walend and Rosamind
Balderagon?
- No, Walend is my uncle.
My father is the great
Belden Balderagon,
former aide
to the Queen Latigian
of the North Mountain.
And you are...?
- Robert, of the Great House
of Gildorten.
- Ah, the Gildortens that
sacked the North Mountain, eh?
[spits] Scum!
- No, the Gildortens
of the Lower River.
Makers of wine
and traders of wheat.
I know it's hard; there's two
Houses of Gildorten.
♪
- But you do fight
for the realm, though.
- Yes, but the New Realm.
Usurpers of the House Roland
of Lighdon.
- [muttering]...
oh, yes, past the Great Sea
in the Red Desert?
Those Rolands?
- No, but they do have
red shields.
- Okay, so the House of Roland
are the ones with
the long braids, right?
- Those are the Gallens
of the West.
They're totally different.
- The Gallens are...?
- Just a trading family.
They really have nothing
to do with this.
They just show up
once in a while.
- [sighs] Goddamn it.
I have this written down
somewhere, man.
I'm so sorry.
This is embarrassing.
- You know, I try to think of,
like, a rhyme or a song
that helps me remember,
like, um...
uh, we waged a vengeful
marathon
against the House Calderathon.
The blood from...
- Oh, oh...no, no, no, no.
No, no.
Balderagon.
Not Calderathon.
- Wait, I thought Calderathon
and Balderagon
were the same forever, like
irregardless and regardless.
- I have the same thing with
"their," "there" and "they're."
Like, wh-why do...why three?
[laughter]
- So wait a minute.
[dragon roars]
- All right,
so according to this...
I'm your uncle? Or...
- My son?
Wait.
- I think I'm the uncle that's
trying to kill you, see?
Right here?
- Yeah, that or my
long-lost son.
- [inhales]
Ah, I really don't know
where to go from here, man.
- Hey!
Why, men, do you sit while
the battle rages on?
What?
What is that?
Is that Old Realm stuff?
- No, this is New Realm.
- Yeah, we just got to the part
where Queen Latigian dies.
- Oh, man.
I'm still on Book One.
I didn't want that spoiled.
[sighs] I really wish
I hadn't heard that.
- Sorry.
I mean, he ran up to us.
I mean, you know...
[cool percussive music]
- [sighs]
- Actor boy.
How did the callback go?
- Actually, it went really well
and it's down to just me
and another actor, so...
- Why the long face?
- Well, since you asked,
I've been feeling
really conflicted about this.
There's a...
- [gasps]
- 'Sup, man.
[door opens]
- Mulatto boy.
He is not stealing my TV.
- Okay, I can't do this
anymore.
Look, yes, your advice
has been super helpful.
And I love free cheese.
Who doesn't? I'm human.
But I'd rather blow
my next audition
than get advice from someone
who's so racist.
Greta, I'm from Guatemala.
Would you talk about me
that way?
- Where is that, near Rome?
- No, Latin America.
I'm Latino, Greta.
- I thought you were Italian.
- Why would think I'm Italian?
- Well, you eat so much
provolone.
- That is a nice, mild cheese
that everybody loves.
- Hm.
- I guess we both learned
something today.
- It's true.
- I learned that age
is no impediment
in order to open your mind.
- And I learned
that you're a big
beaner-weiner.
Get the hell away from my
apartment, Taco Tuesday.
Psh.
- The insult doesn't
even make sense.
[cool percussive music]
[calm music]
- Architecture begins
with a thought.
♪
A dream.
♪
A single line.
♪
But then you build it.
And all of the sudden,
the dream, you can touch her.
She is real.
[dramatic music]
- He molds the work
to his design.
- He wants to redefine what
it means to be a building.
- Is he a genius?
I think so.
♪
[evocative music]
♪
- He built three of New York
City's most iconic buildings:
Port Authority,
Penn Station,
and La Guardia.
- Gerhardt's dream began
in New York,
but he has realized his
buildings nationwide.
The Boston City Hall,
the North Dakota
state building in Bismarck,
and every AT&T building
with no windows
from Midtown to the Midwest.
- Before Gerhardt,
everybody thought buildings
needed to have windows,
places to sit down,
ventilation.
Gerhardt comes along and says,
"Why?
Why don't we make the world's
first above-ground basement?"
This changes everything.
- Not quite.
[spits]
- When you enter
a Gerhardt environment,
I want you to feel something:
perfection.
I want you to feel challenged.
Interrogated.
Tired.
I want you to feel like
I hate you personally.
Because I do.
- Flight 472 has been delayed.
- I want you to feel too close
to the man beside you.
I want you to feel too far
from the restroom.
I want you to buy
a veg sandwich
and balance the cellophane
on your knees.
struggle to have a meal
without a table or surface...
I want you to feel motherless
and sad.
♪
- A Gerhardt building
will make you feel like shit.
And you won't even know why.
- The low ceilings,
the flickering lights...
the particular way
the linoleum peels and cracks.
You walk into one of these
buildings,
and your whole body just says,
"Wow... this sucks."
[escalator clanking]
- I've always been fascinated
by the question,
what if you could
piss where you like...
And experience the piss
of others?
Piss on the carpet,
piss on the stairs.
To take it out and just...
piss.
This fundamental question
challenges our idea
of what a building can be.
[inhales]
Mm.
[dramatic music]
Better.
♪
- Why does he do this?
- Well, he's an architect.
- It's the kind of shit
he does.
- Pretty sure he owns
a concrete company.
- He is...
Gerhardt Fjuck.
She is beautiful, Hans.
[urine dribbling]
Mm.
Oh, dear.
It started as a dream.
[cool percussive music]
♪
- You were so close.
Really, you should be proud
of how far you got.
- Yeah, man, I'm really proud.
Thank you.
- At the end of the day,
it was you and Roman Martinez.
And you know Roman...
he's so good, it's annoying.
- He's so good,
He is so good.
- Hey, you're friends
with him, right?
Do you know if he's looking
for a new agent?
- No, Larry, I don't know
whether he's looking...
- Oh, I owe you a million,
Greta.
Thanks for the advice.
And I agree.
The sooner we build that
damn wall, the safer we'll be.
Arrivederci, huh?
- Hello, Roman.
- Arturo.
- A place of truth?
- Would you like
some provolone?
- Wow.
Oh, yes, I would.
Thank you so much.
- Hm.
- God, I love this cheese.
[grunts]
---
- Happy Latin American
History Month from HBO.
All month long,
we're featuring
the most iconic Latinx
characters from our hit shows.
- My name is Jorge Morales,
and I played a gardener in the
first episode of "Entourage."
- ♪ Oh yeah
- What do I remember about
working on "Entourage"?
- Morning, Jorge.
How you doing?
- Oh, yeah.
Uh, I remember that.
That was it, pretty much.
Turtle was a nice guy.
- Hi, I'm Roberto Ortiz.
I played the gardener who gets
hit by a soccer ball
in a show called "Entourage."
- Watch this show. You ready?
Ooh! Roberto, sorry about that,
buddy.
- Well, I was trying to prune
the hedges.
And then out of nowhere,
the soccer ball hits me
in the leg.
I actually had a line,
but it got cut.
The line was, "Ouch."
What I do remember, though,
was Turtle.
He was a great guy.
- My name is Rico Hernandez,
and on the show "Entourage,"
I played the role
of Gardener #3.
[laughter]
- That's a good one.
You know, it was never
explained why
Turtle had the "I heart cock"
bumper sticker.
It was always implied that
it was E that put it there,
but it was never
explicitly explained.
They never brought it up again.
Always bothered me.
But Turtle...
what a great man.
- And now the actors who play
iconic Latino characters
from the show
"Silicon Valley,"
"Sex and the City,"
"True Blood," and "Girls,"
will join us for
a round table discussion.
Right here on HBO.
[cool percussive music]
♪
- Thank you so much for
helping me with the groceries.
- Oh, no problem.
Anytime. Just here?
- That's fine, yeah/
You're the boy who lives
next door, right?
- Yeah.
- I'm Greta.
Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.
- Ooh, would you like some
provolone?
I just got it.
Fresh slice from the deli.
- Oh, Greta, don't leave me
alone with provolone.
- [laughing]
- Huh?
That's a little cheesy, right?
Wait, is that...
is that a picture of you?
- [chuckles]
I used to be an actress
a long, long time ago.
- Ah, I'm a fellow thespian.
- Oh.
- Yeah.
I actually have an audition for
a J.J. Abrams film tomorrow.
But I'm really nervous
'cause my character has
a Southern accent, and mine
is not very good.
- Oh, Southern accents
are easy.
[drawling] All you gotta do
is talk slow,
drop your G's
like it's hot outside,
and you're fixin' to get drunk
on mint julips.
- Y'all fixin' to go
do some fishin'?
Oh, my God, it's coming
out of my mouth.
- [laughs]
- Wow.
Thank you so much, Greta.
That's crazy.
- I was on Broadway once,
you know.
- That's amazing.
- Yeah.
Then they cast a colored man
on a production of "Showboat."
Never auditioned for
that theater again.
- Ah.
- I forgot about the cheese.
Don't be alone with
the provolone.
[chuckling]
- I just remembered
I have to go.
Sorry, but thank you, bye.
Nice to...okay.
♪
[calm music]
- Welcome, my friends.
You have journeyed far for
this enlightenment ceremony
because you are seeking
answers in your lives.
Are you ready?
- I am.
- Yes, please.
- So ready.
I really need this, you know.
- Breathe deeply.
Sip the ayahuasca tea.
And open your third eye
to a guiding spirit.
Reveal yourselves,
great spirits.
[thunder cracks]
- I am Vopay Magnum, the fox.
- I am Tri Victor, the owl.
- [sniffs] Uh, yeah, what up.
I'm Barry.
I'm a... deer.
- Tell us what form your
guiding spirit has taken.
- Mine is a powerful fox.
- Mine's a brilliant owl.
- Mine says he's a deer,
but he's just some dude in
white jeans wearing antlers.
Is that...is that normal?
- Breathe deeply, and accept
your spirits' wisdom.
- You alone can achieve
your dreams.
- Let curiosity guide
your success.
- You gotta get a drone, dude.
- I'm sorry, what?
- Drones, dude.
You can fly 'em up
to any window.
They got these 4K cameras
on 'em,
and they see everything.
Everything.
- Okay, I feel like I drew
a hard short straw
on my spirit.
- Trust.
Now each of you,
ask for the answer you seek.
- How can I connect better
with others?
- The most basic human need
is to be heard.
- How can I do anything
when I fear I will fail?
- The journey is the reward.
- How can I be a better husband
and father?
- Pfff. Pass.
- No, you can't pass.
You're supposed to help me.
- You want help?
- Yeah.
- Ayahuasca's trash.
You got to get down
with this molly, man.
It's good shit.
- Okay, my spirit,
while I'm on drugs,
is offering me other drugs.
- Shh. Shh!
- Repeat carefully,
as your guides give you
your new mantra.
- I am strong.
I am powerful.
- I am strong.
I am powerful.
- Clear mind, clear thoughts.
- Clear mind, clear thoughts.
- [grunting]
- My spirit animal is just
having sex with the air.
- Yeah!
- Oh, God.
- And so what shall be
your mantra?
- Um, I'm good.
[thunder cracks]
- Ah, it is now time
for your guides
to return to their realm.
- Remember, I am with
you always.
- If you ever need...
- Hey fox, hey owl.
That guy's kind of
a fuckin' narc.
Let's get out of here
back to the spirit realm
and figure out which
one of you's got a pussy.
- Is this a bad trip?
Is this what people mean
when they say bad trip?
- It is all in your mind.
- Oh, no, I'm pretty sure
this is a bad trip.
- Oh, man.
I went full biscuit on some
vodka Gatorades, man.
I think I'm gonna...
[vomiting]
[gasping]
Hey, relax, man.
It's good luck.
- It's good luck?
Is that true?
- It is not true.
- Goddamn it!
- All right, later, bro.
- Fuckin' Barry.
[cool percussive music]
- We turn our focus now
to Hurricane Diego,
category 4 hurricane,
tearing its way from
the Dominican Republic
all the way through Florida.
Our BCN disaster team
is on the scene
giving us up-to-the-minute
reports on the devastation.
Connie, the winds are up to 70
miles per hour?
Am I right?
- Yes, Chuck, I'm sure you can
see behind me
just how fast this wind
is blowing.
I've never seen anything
like it.
- We're all pulling for you.
Next up, we have Denny Lopez
from the Dominican Republic.
- Hi, Chuck!
We're here in
the Dominican Republic!
Where the winds are just
tearing through the city
right now!
It's actually a very
dangerous situation!
People are evacuating
their houses in boats!
- Well, I'm glad
you have a plan.
- Can you please send help?!
- Keep reporting, Denny.
Connie, do you need assistance?
I'm being told we can have a
team to you within 10 minutes.
- I think I'm okay, Chuck.
It seems that the disaster
relief has arrived,
and they are getting some
people to safety.
- Well, we're all praying that
you make it back to safety.
- Chuck, things are getting
progressively worse down here
in the Caribbean!
- Oh, Denny, is that you?
I thought...
I thought everything was good
for you guys.
- I'm really not sure where
you got that idea from, Chuck!
- Well, I'm glad to hear
the disaster relief
has finally arrived.
- Ah, no, I haven't
seen anything
by the way of
disaster relief!
- Speaking of which, Connie,
what can we do to help
the people of Miami?
- I think I'm good.
Uh, some of the rescue workers
had a bunch of spare supplies
and were able to construct
this kind of see-through house
around me.
It's actually quite nice
to hear
the pitter-patter
of rain on the roof.
And one of the temporary
shelters was just overflowing
with toy donations,
so I got this little guy.
- What's his name?
- I named him Chuck!
- Oh, thank you, Connie.
Denny, what did you name
your teddy bear?
Did you name it Chuck?
- What in the fuck are you
talking about?!
- Oh, okay, well, stay dry.
Connie?
- Snug as a bug, Chuck.
- Denny?
- Everybody save yourselves!
[alarm blaring]
- Looks like everyone's
going to be okay.
[cool percussive music]
- Fuck.
- Arturo.
[laughing]
- Roman.
- My man.
- How you doing?
- Good.
- Have you been stealing
any more parts from me?
No, dude, I'm just kidding.
How's work been?
How are you?
- I'm good, you know.
Um, oh, you know that sitcom
that I was on?
- Yeah.
- [sighs]
They wanted to bump me up
to a series regular.
- Congratulations.
- But I passed, you know.
It was just so mainstream.
- No, man, we've all
been there.
Am I right?
Me, specifically.
A lot of times.
- Dude, I mean,
what are you gonna do?
- I don't know.
You know, sometimes it's like,
you know, why am I
still doing this, you know?
Roman gets all
the parts I want.
You know.
- Anyway, are you working
on anything?
- Um...
actually, yeah.
I just...I just found out
I have a callback
for a huge film, man.
- Callback.
Good for you.
- Thanks. [sighs]
I'm really conflicted.
Can I ask you something?
- Yeah.
- So I got audition advice
from my neighbor,
and I'm really hoping
to nail the audition, you know?
She's super racist, man.
I feel really bad,
but I'm wondering
if I should go back to her for
advice for the callback, man.
I really want it.
- You know, personally,
I work from a place of truth,
you know, so I don't really
have a need for acting coaches,
racist or otherwise.
If it were me
and I got the part because of
some racist advice...
I would not be able
to live with myself.
- [sighs] Yeah, you're right.
- Anyway, I should jet.
I got an audition as well.
Fifth one today.
- Wow.
- Ugh, I don't know
how I do it.
- What's it for?
- Oh, just, like,
some J.J. Abrams movie.
- Fuck...
yes!
- Yeah.
- Fuck yes!
- [laughing] Yeah.
- You.
Of course, okay.
- Yeah.
All right.
- Roman.
- Hey, we should get lunch.
- Yeah, we should.
- All right.
- Shit, shit, shit, shit,
shit, shit...
Greta?
Greta.
- Come in. Come in.
I thought it was
that mulatto boy
come to steal my things.
- [whispering]
J.J. Abrams, J.J. Abrams,
J.J. Abrams, J.J. Abrams...
[banging]
- Shoot.
These Oriental electronics.
So confusing.
- Great, before you say
anything else at all,
can you help me with
this callback?
- Of course, dear.
What's the scene?
- Okay.
So the characters, they're in
this big rainstorm.
- Wet your socks.
- Wet my socks?
- If you want them to believe
you're in the rain,
you have to believe it
yourself.
The discomfort you feel
being in the storm
will come through in your
performance.
- God, that makes a lot
of sense.
- That is one scary taco-head.
I can't wait for that
border wall, can you?
- I love cheese.
- Ah.
- I like eating it a lot.
[laughter]
- Never alone with
the provolone.
- Oh, believe me, Greta,
I wish I could do this alone.
- No.
- I can't.
[cool percussive music]
[organ playing]
- Hang on, guys, I'm gonna grab
a hot dog.
Hola.
Uno, por favor.
- One?
Sure.
- Wow, fourteen years
is a long time.
- That's almost as long
as I've been living
in the States.
- Ah.
- Speaking English.
Not studying it.
Just speaking it.
Every day. Fluently.
- Well, practice makes
perfect, as they say.
In English.
- I recommend going to
a Spanish-speaking country.
Oh, there are dozens of them
to choose from.
[dramatic music]
Ah.
Hot dogs,
they're ready.
Six dollars, please.
- Uh, sir, your change.
- Oh, yeah, thanks.
- Shit.
I mean mierda.
[cool percussive music]
[dragon roars]
- [panting]
- [yells]
[tense music]
♪
- Whose blade might I have
the pleasure of meeting?
- None other than the blade
of Matias Balderagon.
- Matias Balderagon.
Son of Walend and Rosamind
Balderagon?
- No, Walend is my uncle.
My father is the great
Belden Balderagon,
former aide
to the Queen Latigian
of the North Mountain.
And you are...?
- Robert, of the Great House
of Gildorten.
- Ah, the Gildortens that
sacked the North Mountain, eh?
[spits] Scum!
- No, the Gildortens
of the Lower River.
Makers of wine
and traders of wheat.
I know it's hard; there's two
Houses of Gildorten.
♪
- But you do fight
for the realm, though.
- Yes, but the New Realm.
Usurpers of the House Roland
of Lighdon.
- [muttering]...
oh, yes, past the Great Sea
in the Red Desert?
Those Rolands?
- No, but they do have
red shields.
- Okay, so the House of Roland
are the ones with
the long braids, right?
- Those are the Gallens
of the West.
They're totally different.
- The Gallens are...?
- Just a trading family.
They really have nothing
to do with this.
They just show up
once in a while.
- [sighs] Goddamn it.
I have this written down
somewhere, man.
I'm so sorry.
This is embarrassing.
- You know, I try to think of,
like, a rhyme or a song
that helps me remember,
like, um...
uh, we waged a vengeful
marathon
against the House Calderathon.
The blood from...
- Oh, oh...no, no, no, no.
No, no.
Balderagon.
Not Calderathon.
- Wait, I thought Calderathon
and Balderagon
were the same forever, like
irregardless and regardless.
- I have the same thing with
"their," "there" and "they're."
Like, wh-why do...why three?
[laughter]
- So wait a minute.
[dragon roars]
- All right,
so according to this...
I'm your uncle? Or...
- My son?
Wait.
- I think I'm the uncle that's
trying to kill you, see?
Right here?
- Yeah, that or my
long-lost son.
- [inhales]
Ah, I really don't know
where to go from here, man.
- Hey!
Why, men, do you sit while
the battle rages on?
What?
What is that?
Is that Old Realm stuff?
- No, this is New Realm.
- Yeah, we just got to the part
where Queen Latigian dies.
- Oh, man.
I'm still on Book One.
I didn't want that spoiled.
[sighs] I really wish
I hadn't heard that.
- Sorry.
I mean, he ran up to us.
I mean, you know...
[cool percussive music]
- [sighs]
- Actor boy.
How did the callback go?
- Actually, it went really well
and it's down to just me
and another actor, so...
- Why the long face?
- Well, since you asked,
I've been feeling
really conflicted about this.
There's a...
- [gasps]
- 'Sup, man.
[door opens]
- Mulatto boy.
He is not stealing my TV.
- Okay, I can't do this
anymore.
Look, yes, your advice
has been super helpful.
And I love free cheese.
Who doesn't? I'm human.
But I'd rather blow
my next audition
than get advice from someone
who's so racist.
Greta, I'm from Guatemala.
Would you talk about me
that way?
- Where is that, near Rome?
- No, Latin America.
I'm Latino, Greta.
- I thought you were Italian.
- Why would think I'm Italian?
- Well, you eat so much
provolone.
- That is a nice, mild cheese
that everybody loves.
- Hm.
- I guess we both learned
something today.
- It's true.
- I learned that age
is no impediment
in order to open your mind.
- And I learned
that you're a big
beaner-weiner.
Get the hell away from my
apartment, Taco Tuesday.
Psh.
- The insult doesn't
even make sense.
[cool percussive music]
[calm music]
- Architecture begins
with a thought.
♪
A dream.
♪
A single line.
♪
But then you build it.
And all of the sudden,
the dream, you can touch her.
She is real.
[dramatic music]
- He molds the work
to his design.
- He wants to redefine what
it means to be a building.
- Is he a genius?
I think so.
♪
[evocative music]
♪
- He built three of New York
City's most iconic buildings:
Port Authority,
Penn Station,
and La Guardia.
- Gerhardt's dream began
in New York,
but he has realized his
buildings nationwide.
The Boston City Hall,
the North Dakota
state building in Bismarck,
and every AT&T building
with no windows
from Midtown to the Midwest.
- Before Gerhardt,
everybody thought buildings
needed to have windows,
places to sit down,
ventilation.
Gerhardt comes along and says,
"Why?
Why don't we make the world's
first above-ground basement?"
This changes everything.
- Not quite.
[spits]
- When you enter
a Gerhardt environment,
I want you to feel something:
perfection.
I want you to feel challenged.
Interrogated.
Tired.
I want you to feel like
I hate you personally.
Because I do.
- Flight 472 has been delayed.
- I want you to feel too close
to the man beside you.
I want you to feel too far
from the restroom.
I want you to buy
a veg sandwich
and balance the cellophane
on your knees.
struggle to have a meal
without a table or surface...
I want you to feel motherless
and sad.
♪
- A Gerhardt building
will make you feel like shit.
And you won't even know why.
- The low ceilings,
the flickering lights...
the particular way
the linoleum peels and cracks.
You walk into one of these
buildings,
and your whole body just says,
"Wow... this sucks."
[escalator clanking]
- I've always been fascinated
by the question,
what if you could
piss where you like...
And experience the piss
of others?
Piss on the carpet,
piss on the stairs.
To take it out and just...
piss.
This fundamental question
challenges our idea
of what a building can be.
[inhales]
Mm.
[dramatic music]
Better.
♪
- Why does he do this?
- Well, he's an architect.
- It's the kind of shit
he does.
- Pretty sure he owns
a concrete company.
- He is...
Gerhardt Fjuck.
She is beautiful, Hans.
[urine dribbling]
Mm.
Oh, dear.
It started as a dream.
[cool percussive music]
♪
- You were so close.
Really, you should be proud
of how far you got.
- Yeah, man, I'm really proud.
Thank you.
- At the end of the day,
it was you and Roman Martinez.
And you know Roman...
he's so good, it's annoying.
- He's so good,
He is so good.
- Hey, you're friends
with him, right?
Do you know if he's looking
for a new agent?
- No, Larry, I don't know
whether he's looking...
- Oh, I owe you a million,
Greta.
Thanks for the advice.
And I agree.
The sooner we build that
damn wall, the safer we'll be.
Arrivederci, huh?
- Hello, Roman.
- Arturo.
- A place of truth?
- Would you like
some provolone?
- Wow.
Oh, yes, I would.
Thank you so much.
- Hm.
- God, I love this cheese.
[grunts]