Alone (2015–…): Season 3, Episode 8 - Of Feast & Famine - full transcript
Winter arrives in full force, and the remaining survivors must deal with rapidly deteriorating conditions. The lack of protein pushes some to new levels of depletion, and the pull to see family is more than some can bear.
[dramatic music]
*
- Hypothermia set in.
I'm tapping out. I'm done.
I can't take any more.
- I've been working
with my spider bites
with the plant medicine.
Oh, yeah,
it's totally healing up.
- I've been waking up
in the night.
There's a fox
going around my shelter.
I just don't know
if he's gonna try to bite me.
[rapid banging]
[indistinct growling]
- What is that?
- My trail camera's been
knocked over.
They're freakin' mocking me.
- This is the hardest terrain.
- Patagonia's a different
environment entirely.
- Everything out here
is so hard.
- Patagonia's no joke.
- Are you willing
to give up who you are
for what you will become?
- It's Patagonia,
for God's sakes.
- Patagonia!
- It's tougher
than I ever imagined.
- Just missing home right now.
- You get a feeling
of helplessness,
like, "Why am I doing this?"
- Oh my...God!
- The last person left
wins $500,000 and is a badass.
- Bam!
- [groans]
[animal growls]
- What is that?
- It's just how far
you can push yourself
and what you're able to do...
- Yeah!
[laughs]
- You don't have anyone
to lean on.
- Oh, my God, I got a fish!
- Go to bed hungry,
wake up hungry.
- I can't believe I did that.
- Ready, guy?
- It's gonna come down to
mental endurance
and food deprivation.
- [shivers]
- [crying]
- A person would be dead
in a week at this rate.
[pig squealing]
- Whoa.
That's a big cat.
*
*
*
[rustling]
- Oh, look at that,
there's snow.
Awesome.
*
All right.
It's a winter wonderland
out here.
Nice, sticky snow.
*
I'm from Maine.
I love the snow.
It always
makes me cheerful.
*
Today,
I'm taking the day off,
I'm doing whatever
the heck I feel like.
It's a snow day.
Ooh-whee!
Man, would you look at that?
Isn't that beautiful?
Snow on the mountains there,
the snow across there.
Ah, that reminds me
of winter at home.
Gonna be a good day.
A good day.
*
I love to build snowmen.
At home,
my daughter Abby and I
make snowmen in the snow
and I mess them all up,
and she gets mad.
"Pop ruined my snowman!"
That one's for you,
Little Pip.
A nice, normal
little snowman.
*
And it's got a fish head hat.
And I won't even
do anything mean to him
like I do
to the ones at home.
*
[chuckling]
Ohh!
[thwacks]
[thwacks]
Oh, yeah, right in the nose.
Ah, sorry, Abby!
Your snowman
is not gonna make it.
This is fun,
but I cannot wait
to be back home again
with my family.
*
- Can I talk about cheese?
I freaking love cheese.
I love cheese.
*
Ah!
I had dreams last night, man--
were all about food.
I swore I had to spend
half the night
eating one thing of cheese.
Like, deciding
if I should sell it
or if I should just eat it.
Eventually--it was
a huge freakin' block of cheese.
Eventually, I just ate
the whole damn thing.
[chuckles]
I was hanging out with Jose
from season--season two.
[exhales]
*
Take a look at that.
There's snow on the ground.
Whoo!
[chuckles]
Snow!
*
Is this amazing,
or is this amazing?
Wow.
Wow.
Ahh!
*
Ahh!
This is so beautiful.
*
The snow is gonna help
my tracking ability.
Though, I'll lose fishing.
It seems the colder it gets,
the less they stay
toward shore.
It's interesting,
with the amount of food
and the amount of water
that I'm getting,
these lulls of energy,
you know, highs and lows,
it's amazing
the difference energy-wise.
*
Getting slippery.
Real slippery.
*
I'm thinking about hunger
this morning.
My hunger today
and no fish today and...
Well, let that go--
there it is.
It amazes me how much
I think about food.
You get that food is life
out here.
*
Good food...
That's what I'm missing.
*
I feel like my body
is deteriorating.
You know, I'm feeling like
I'll probably look like
an anorexic here pretty soon,
if I'm not already.
[exhales]
*
- All right, well,
I thought I would take us
on a little
winter wonderland walk.
You can see, I have on every
single layer I own out here.
So I can stay super cozy warm.
Which I am.
And, uh...
Yeah, it's just
absolutely stunning.
There's something so peaceful
about snow falling, you know?
*
My spider bites are practically
all the way healed over.
My glands still
have swelling in them,
but it's going down
every day.
So beautiful!
*
Bah!
I was gonna go home.
I was going to
take care of my body.
But...
I believe that
my body will tell me
when it is time to go.
I want to just be strong
until the end.
That may be five days,
it may be ten days,
may be 20 days,
I don't know.
But whatever it is,
I want to feel good about it.
*
[heavy breathing]
Snow angel.
Oh, I just love the snow
so much.
It's such
a winter wonderland here.
*
I think I absolutely
could win this.
*
It ain't over yet.
But I'm starting to feel
a winding down.
*
*
[fire crackling]
- "How skinny am I?"
is the question
that everybody wants to know.
*
I think I lost some weight.
[fire crackling]
Yup, I'm skinny.
[exhales]
Wow, real skinny.
*
Hoping that I could come up
with some, you know,
some substantial meat.
If I can get a boar, then
we're--we're solid, right?
[stream rushing]
*
Phew! All right.
So I'm just going to
string my bow,
and I think we're ready
to take off to my blind.
[inhales]
[groans]
Ah.
[chuckles]
I got so many clothes on.
And I just tuckered myself out.
[exhales]
Okay.
Let's give it another go.
Hopefully. Might not be
going to my blind...
[laughs]
If I can't string this bow,
*
[exhales deeply]
Come on!
Aww, no! Come on.
*
A little week of
low calorie consumption...
[exhales]
*
[yells]
[bleep]!
Ahhh!
If I can't string my bow,
hunting's out.
Damn it!
[dramatic music]
*
*
*
- I want to have energy.
Energy so that I could work out
and do something, and like,
build my muscles again.
*
Well, first, I started eating
a whole fish,
and then I came
to this realization,
"Well, okay, let's start--
let's start saving up."
A couple nice fillets
right there.
I fillet them out,
dry them.
Two fillets, one body.
Head goes in the stew.
Each fish
lasts me three to six days.
*
If I have food stored away,
then I know I'm doing well.
And I know
I can continue here.
I've got...
33 halves of fish.
Filleted for stew.
That's 33 days.
If I can make that
go every other day...
*
If I can do every other day
with 33 fish, that's two months.
*
Two more months
that I can be out here.
*
Ah, greens.
But I do want to be healthy,
and there's a lot of food.
*
I'm having this
once every other day.
*
I want to stay here.
I love this land.
*
Third of a fish, greens,
mushrooms.
*
And it is just life.
[blows air]
*
[birds chirping]
*
[birds cawing]
- Sounds like geese.
They're around the island.
Looks like they're eating
on the bulrushes.
[geese honking]
It would be really, really
awesome
if I could catch a goose.
Maybe they'll come over here.
*
In preparation
for the geese coming back,
I'm gonna make two bolas.
I got some rocks.
I'm just gonna...
Tie it around.
And when you throw it,
they'll all spread out
and hopefully entangle a bird
so that it can't fly.
Got two sets.
One's a little bit longer
and heavier than the other.
Means I have two throws.
*
[geese honking]
I just heard the geese
and I looked down my trail,
and they did just
come over here.
*
[whispers] Right there.
*
And I'm gonna sneak down there
and try to catch one.
*
Gonna be quite the task.
Sneaking around.
Just has to be the right timing.
*
Got that sweaty, nervous
armpit feeling.
*
[dramatic music]
*
[geese honking]
- I just heard the geese.
And I'm gonna sneak down there
and try to catch one.
*
[geese honking]
Well...
I didn't even...
Hardly get
within sight of them,
sneaking around,
and they spooked.
*
Getting protein--it's been
a challenge and a struggle.
It weighs on me.
What I want the most out here
is just
the meat.
Without
that extra calories,
I don't know if I can
keep going on plants alone.
*
*
- So, um, I had
a pretty good sleep.
The fox hasn't been around
for the last couple of days.
Or else he's just,
um, not being aggressive,
trying to get
into the shelter.
*
That is the fox.
Oh, my gosh.
But I had some...
good dreams too,
about seeing my family and just
spending time together.
[exhales]
Today is my, um,
son's sixth birthday.
And that
totally breaks my heart
that I can't be there
with him.
Hey, buddy, I miss you
and I love you so much.
And your sister too.
Ahh, and I'll make it up
to you guys
when I get home.
[waves crashing]
Well, I'll check fish traps.
There's a lot of snow
on the hill today.
*
No fish.
Hmm.
Oh, fish in my stomach
right now would be amazing.
My number one priority
right now
is trying to get
some protein.
And if the fish just dried up,
then I'm just gonna
start focusing on birds.
[wind whistling]
I'd like to make a--
a bird trap.
I'm gonna make a box
with reeds.
And, um, there'll be four more
pieces for wood on the top,
and then I'll tie them
all together,
and the box will fall down
onto a bird when they trigger
the trigger line.
*
And the birds around here--I
haven't seen very many big ones,
so this doesn't
have to be huge.
*
Okay.
So there's
one side of the box.
Just trying
to keep myself busy,
keep myself off my...
Dwelling on the fact that
it's my little boy's
birthday today.
It's the first birthday
I've missed.
*
Gosh, I miss my children
so much--and my husband.
And just being alone,
away from them,
just makes me
really appreciate
how good I have it.
There was a bit
of my rose hips that...
Something I got into
the first couple of days.
They're kind of rotting now,
and I had saved them.
I save almost everything
just in case I want to use it.
So what you do is,
do a little bit of a trail
leading up to the box.
And then
throw a handful in the box.
And then the animal
would go towards that.
And your edge of the box
should just be resting
on the one stick,
not on the pegs.
And that's it.
*
*
[fire crackling]
- What did we achieve today?
This is
my wizard staff journal,
the story
of my adventure here.
The special things
that happened,
with the symbols,
I can remember it.
All right, today...
Fire, 'cause
we kept it going.
Little old man and his cane,
crutch and--grabbing his back,
going, "Ohh, my back."
That's my physical feel now.
*
Making things makes me happy.
Keep myself from getting bored.
Smoothed out my thimble.
I find that
it is very important
to keep your mind busy,
especially after 4:00.
4:00,
you're used to going home
and being with your family.
I have this little
wizarding wand I'm making here.
[fire crackling]
[sighs]
Sometimes, it's hard to work
on stuff for them.
[fire crackling]
I miss them all so much.
[fire crackling]
[dramatic music]
*
*
*
- Now I know
what wildlife goes through
when the weather gets rough.
Have to really scrounge
for their food.
I have a new appreciation
for...
What animals in the forest
have to go through.
*
You can tell
things are changing.
Like, the fish
don't seem to be biting.
There's no mushrooms left.
Some of the forage
material's, um, turning.
And now I'm gonna focus
just on birds.
I finished a bird box.
I have to go back to see
if they were triggered.
*
[bleep].
[bleep].
Oh, I just checked
my bird box,
and something triggered it
but managed to get out.
'Cause all the bait inside
has been eaten.
I'll have to fix it
and reset it.
*
I'm going to check out
my hare snares
and my fox snare
at the top of the hill.
*
This is getting long,
this journey.
*
It's not as fun anymore.
*
The weather's
turned to [bleep].
I'm starving.
It's cold.
*
I'm running on
very, very low energy.
*
Oh, it'd be so nice
to get a rabbit.
*
Oh, my gosh.
*
Great.
*
I did have it.
Ugh.
*
Man, oh, man.
Jeez, Louise.
Look at that.
That is a fluffy, fat rabbit.
There's all this new fur
from the rabbit,
and I thought maybe it had just
bumped into this bush,
but it ripped out...
*
There's a snare here,
so it obviously got stuck
in the snare and then
ripped its way out of it
and got caught up in there
for a bit.
Super frustrating.
I almost had that rabbit...
Again.
*
This is definitely one
of the harder days I've had.
[rain falling]
And it's really rainy.
I'm running on very limited
calories right now,
and, um, I'm trying to really
conserve energy, and...
And also just be really careful
about getting too cold,
which will drain energy
from my body as well,
and I don't want to get sick.
*
*
- Yup.
We got one.
Boo-ya!
Boo. Ya.
Boo-ya, baby.
We got fish.
Hey, hey, ho, hey, hey.
Oh, beautiful fish.
Thank you so much
for your life.
[thwacking]
*
We have got a beauty here.
*
Thank you!
Whoo-whoo!
*
Whoa, lots of eggs.
Oh, I'm sorry, mama.
*
Check out all those eggs.
*
[whistles]
Whoa, roe.
*
We are going to prep this up
for feasting.
*
We have had
an abundant forage today.
Let me just show you this
really fast.
Look at this.
Look at that.
We've got our fish.
Our fish roe.
A ridiculous amount of greens.
And, uh, lots of mushies.
I love a good feast
from the land.
*
This land has been
so good to me.
*
Given me good food.
Good medicine.
*
The last couple days
have given me such...
Reflection on the journey.
I think I came into this
with way too much
competitive nature,
and I put a lot of pressure
on myself--
that I didn't even
realize I had--to win,
to buy my land.
And I think my body took on
a lot of that stress.
And suddenly,
when I let go...
It gave me
this profound release.
I'm starting to feel
the call home.
[rain falling]
* Pa-a-a-tagonia's
* Been calling me
back to my home *
* Pa-a-a-tagonia's
* Been calling me
back to my home *
* And if home
is where I land *
* Then the land's my home
* If home is where I stand,
then I'm standing alone *
* If home is where I land,
then the land's my home *
* If home is where I stand,
then I'm standing alone *
[dramatic music]
*
*
*
- Such a constant battle,
trying to get...
Traps set up,
traps re-set up after weather,
traps re-set up after
animals run through them.
Trying to get bait.
It's such a constant struggle
trying to get food out here.
*
At least I manage to forage
quite a bit,
so at least I'm getting
some food in me.
*
I need to keep eating
and keep calories coming in.
*
But, uh, the protein
is this constant chase.
I need to catch more fish.
Those reeds out there...
Are my nemesis.
It's not the best lake
to try to set a gill net,
as I found out.
[water splashing]
Ah!
[bleep].
Ugh!
Just looking at my gill net,
and nothing appears to be in it,
so I'm gonna pull it,
and, uh, probably use it
for some other--
other stuff.
So I'm just making this,
uh, dip net.
Taking my gill net,
which I cut in half,
and then I've sewn up
the sides here
to make a bit of a pouch.
This is the 20-pound test line
that I just cut down
the other day
that never caught me fish.
*
I could pull this string
to tighten it up at the top
if it's stuck on reeds,
so the fish doesn't
get out the top.
And, uh...
Then when I go to use it again,
I just loosen it.
*
My dip net.
*
I'm checking
some of the fishing lines.
[waves lapping]
There's a fish. Awesome.
Oh, my goodness.
So I have a fish
caught on the reeds.
I'm gonna try out my, uh,
dip net that I made.
*
Oh, it's cold.
Definitely do not want
to fall in and get wet.
*
Whoa! It's so deep.
*
He's not very huge, but...
Definitely give me
some protein.
*
[bleep].
Oh, my God, I got him.
My dip net works.
I got him.
I'm so happy.
Oh, my gosh.
Oh...
Yes!
I'm gonna mark--I'm gonna
patent that net system,
for when you're fishing
in Patagonia alone.
This is what you need.
Ah, I'm so excited.
A fish!
Ah.
*
It's amazing...the cycle.
It's like drought...
And then you actually
get a little bit of something
that helps get you more things.
There are so many lessons
to be learned from nature.
And I want my children to
at least be exposed to that.
There will be hurdles
and challenges.
Nothing worthwhile
comes easy.
*
- [sighs]
*
Every day, I feel, "Yay!
It's a good day to be alive."
You know?
This is great.
This is quite the adventure.
And as night draws on
and I become more tired...
And it's like, "Ugh.
"Can't wait
for this to be over,
I want to be at home
doing my thing there."
Ah! I feel like the man
who struggles
with becoming a werewolf
at night, you know?
*
Firewood land.
*
Start with
grabbing that big log.
[grunts]
This thing's heavy.
[groaning]
Missing the comforts of home
even more today
than I have for days.
*
The more I try not to think
about them, the more I do.
*
Well, this is not the good-bye
we thought of.
There's the car
on the side of the road.
Our rescuer's here
in a Subaru.
I love you, hon.
I love you, Sparrow.
I had to leave my wife
and my two daughters
with our new vehicle broke
down on the side of the road.
I'll see you
when I get back, okay?
While I had to hitchhike
a ride to the airport
to come to Patagonia.
[overlapping chatter]
I love you, Sparrow.
Not able to say good-bye
at the airport...
That was horrible.
*
[sniffles]
[exhales]
When you're out here
by yourself...
[inhales]
You think about family
and how much they mean to you.
The weight,
the gravity on your chest
is just...
So strong.
The pull on my heart...
To be with them...
Those two little girls of mine
and that beautiful wife...
It's so hard.
[dramatic music]
*
[birds chirping]
[electronic beep]
[beeping]
[birds chirping]
[beep]
- Hey, so I am officially...
Tapping out.
Thanks.
Okay, bye.
[water lapping]
Well, that's it.
Wow.
That was easy.
Crazy!
[waves lapping]
Whoa.
[inhales and sniffles]
[sighs]
[exhales]
[sniffles]
[laughing]
*
[laughing]
Ohh.
[laughing]
Hey, guys.
Wow.
*
[chuckling]
- It feels...
It's so mixed emotions.
Yeah.
But it feels great.
You know, I kind of
decided, uh, yesterday.
I didn't want to leave
on any other terms
but feeling complete
in the journey, and I do.
*
From the beginning,
I saw this experience
as an opportunity
to buy my land and to have
this outcome of me winning.
And at a certain point,
I saw that I was holding
too tightly
to this material goal.
But when we hold so tightly
to something,
we don't allow
other things to come in.
I had to shed that,
and when I did, I realized,
it doesn't matter what the
outcome to any situation is.
It's about
being in this moment.
It's about the journey
and finding a deeper sense
of my own voice.
Finding a deeper sense
of my own self-worth.
And by being out here
for so long,
truly on your own,
you develop this
relationship with yourself
that is so profound.
And I communicate
with myself in a way that
I never thought possible.
I only can imagine
how this is gonna serve me
in the rest of my life.
[dramatic swell]
- Yes, yes, oh, my goodness.
A fish.
I was not expecting that.
- I'm gonna eat tonight.
Oh, no!
Things are not going well.
- I'm getting quite thin.
I definitely feel like
I'm living each day here
as if it could be
my last day.
- [sighs]
It's amazing how breathing
is so difficult
when you don't have
a lot of calories.
[yells]
[dramatic music]
*
*
- Hypothermia set in.
I'm tapping out. I'm done.
I can't take any more.
- I've been working
with my spider bites
with the plant medicine.
Oh, yeah,
it's totally healing up.
- I've been waking up
in the night.
There's a fox
going around my shelter.
I just don't know
if he's gonna try to bite me.
[rapid banging]
[indistinct growling]
- What is that?
- My trail camera's been
knocked over.
They're freakin' mocking me.
- This is the hardest terrain.
- Patagonia's a different
environment entirely.
- Everything out here
is so hard.
- Patagonia's no joke.
- Are you willing
to give up who you are
for what you will become?
- It's Patagonia,
for God's sakes.
- Patagonia!
- It's tougher
than I ever imagined.
- Just missing home right now.
- You get a feeling
of helplessness,
like, "Why am I doing this?"
- Oh my...God!
- The last person left
wins $500,000 and is a badass.
- Bam!
- [groans]
[animal growls]
- What is that?
- It's just how far
you can push yourself
and what you're able to do...
- Yeah!
[laughs]
- You don't have anyone
to lean on.
- Oh, my God, I got a fish!
- Go to bed hungry,
wake up hungry.
- I can't believe I did that.
- Ready, guy?
- It's gonna come down to
mental endurance
and food deprivation.
- [shivers]
- [crying]
- A person would be dead
in a week at this rate.
[pig squealing]
- Whoa.
That's a big cat.
*
*
*
[rustling]
- Oh, look at that,
there's snow.
Awesome.
*
All right.
It's a winter wonderland
out here.
Nice, sticky snow.
*
I'm from Maine.
I love the snow.
It always
makes me cheerful.
*
Today,
I'm taking the day off,
I'm doing whatever
the heck I feel like.
It's a snow day.
Ooh-whee!
Man, would you look at that?
Isn't that beautiful?
Snow on the mountains there,
the snow across there.
Ah, that reminds me
of winter at home.
Gonna be a good day.
A good day.
*
I love to build snowmen.
At home,
my daughter Abby and I
make snowmen in the snow
and I mess them all up,
and she gets mad.
"Pop ruined my snowman!"
That one's for you,
Little Pip.
A nice, normal
little snowman.
*
And it's got a fish head hat.
And I won't even
do anything mean to him
like I do
to the ones at home.
*
[chuckling]
Ohh!
[thwacks]
[thwacks]
Oh, yeah, right in the nose.
Ah, sorry, Abby!
Your snowman
is not gonna make it.
This is fun,
but I cannot wait
to be back home again
with my family.
*
- Can I talk about cheese?
I freaking love cheese.
I love cheese.
*
Ah!
I had dreams last night, man--
were all about food.
I swore I had to spend
half the night
eating one thing of cheese.
Like, deciding
if I should sell it
or if I should just eat it.
Eventually--it was
a huge freakin' block of cheese.
Eventually, I just ate
the whole damn thing.
[chuckles]
I was hanging out with Jose
from season--season two.
[exhales]
*
Take a look at that.
There's snow on the ground.
Whoo!
[chuckles]
Snow!
*
Is this amazing,
or is this amazing?
Wow.
Wow.
Ahh!
*
Ahh!
This is so beautiful.
*
The snow is gonna help
my tracking ability.
Though, I'll lose fishing.
It seems the colder it gets,
the less they stay
toward shore.
It's interesting,
with the amount of food
and the amount of water
that I'm getting,
these lulls of energy,
you know, highs and lows,
it's amazing
the difference energy-wise.
*
Getting slippery.
Real slippery.
*
I'm thinking about hunger
this morning.
My hunger today
and no fish today and...
Well, let that go--
there it is.
It amazes me how much
I think about food.
You get that food is life
out here.
*
Good food...
That's what I'm missing.
*
I feel like my body
is deteriorating.
You know, I'm feeling like
I'll probably look like
an anorexic here pretty soon,
if I'm not already.
[exhales]
*
- All right, well,
I thought I would take us
on a little
winter wonderland walk.
You can see, I have on every
single layer I own out here.
So I can stay super cozy warm.
Which I am.
And, uh...
Yeah, it's just
absolutely stunning.
There's something so peaceful
about snow falling, you know?
*
My spider bites are practically
all the way healed over.
My glands still
have swelling in them,
but it's going down
every day.
So beautiful!
*
Bah!
I was gonna go home.
I was going to
take care of my body.
But...
I believe that
my body will tell me
when it is time to go.
I want to just be strong
until the end.
That may be five days,
it may be ten days,
may be 20 days,
I don't know.
But whatever it is,
I want to feel good about it.
*
[heavy breathing]
Snow angel.
Oh, I just love the snow
so much.
It's such
a winter wonderland here.
*
I think I absolutely
could win this.
*
It ain't over yet.
But I'm starting to feel
a winding down.
*
*
[fire crackling]
- "How skinny am I?"
is the question
that everybody wants to know.
*
I think I lost some weight.
[fire crackling]
Yup, I'm skinny.
[exhales]
Wow, real skinny.
*
Hoping that I could come up
with some, you know,
some substantial meat.
If I can get a boar, then
we're--we're solid, right?
[stream rushing]
*
Phew! All right.
So I'm just going to
string my bow,
and I think we're ready
to take off to my blind.
[inhales]
[groans]
Ah.
[chuckles]
I got so many clothes on.
And I just tuckered myself out.
[exhales]
Okay.
Let's give it another go.
Hopefully. Might not be
going to my blind...
[laughs]
If I can't string this bow,
*
[exhales deeply]
Come on!
Aww, no! Come on.
*
A little week of
low calorie consumption...
[exhales]
*
[yells]
[bleep]!
Ahhh!
If I can't string my bow,
hunting's out.
Damn it!
[dramatic music]
*
*
*
- I want to have energy.
Energy so that I could work out
and do something, and like,
build my muscles again.
*
Well, first, I started eating
a whole fish,
and then I came
to this realization,
"Well, okay, let's start--
let's start saving up."
A couple nice fillets
right there.
I fillet them out,
dry them.
Two fillets, one body.
Head goes in the stew.
Each fish
lasts me three to six days.
*
If I have food stored away,
then I know I'm doing well.
And I know
I can continue here.
I've got...
33 halves of fish.
Filleted for stew.
That's 33 days.
If I can make that
go every other day...
*
If I can do every other day
with 33 fish, that's two months.
*
Two more months
that I can be out here.
*
Ah, greens.
But I do want to be healthy,
and there's a lot of food.
*
I'm having this
once every other day.
*
I want to stay here.
I love this land.
*
Third of a fish, greens,
mushrooms.
*
And it is just life.
[blows air]
*
[birds chirping]
*
[birds cawing]
- Sounds like geese.
They're around the island.
Looks like they're eating
on the bulrushes.
[geese honking]
It would be really, really
awesome
if I could catch a goose.
Maybe they'll come over here.
*
In preparation
for the geese coming back,
I'm gonna make two bolas.
I got some rocks.
I'm just gonna...
Tie it around.
And when you throw it,
they'll all spread out
and hopefully entangle a bird
so that it can't fly.
Got two sets.
One's a little bit longer
and heavier than the other.
Means I have two throws.
*
[geese honking]
I just heard the geese
and I looked down my trail,
and they did just
come over here.
*
[whispers] Right there.
*
And I'm gonna sneak down there
and try to catch one.
*
Gonna be quite the task.
Sneaking around.
Just has to be the right timing.
*
Got that sweaty, nervous
armpit feeling.
*
[dramatic music]
*
[geese honking]
- I just heard the geese.
And I'm gonna sneak down there
and try to catch one.
*
[geese honking]
Well...
I didn't even...
Hardly get
within sight of them,
sneaking around,
and they spooked.
*
Getting protein--it's been
a challenge and a struggle.
It weighs on me.
What I want the most out here
is just
the meat.
Without
that extra calories,
I don't know if I can
keep going on plants alone.
*
*
- So, um, I had
a pretty good sleep.
The fox hasn't been around
for the last couple of days.
Or else he's just,
um, not being aggressive,
trying to get
into the shelter.
*
That is the fox.
Oh, my gosh.
But I had some...
good dreams too,
about seeing my family and just
spending time together.
[exhales]
Today is my, um,
son's sixth birthday.
And that
totally breaks my heart
that I can't be there
with him.
Hey, buddy, I miss you
and I love you so much.
And your sister too.
Ahh, and I'll make it up
to you guys
when I get home.
[waves crashing]
Well, I'll check fish traps.
There's a lot of snow
on the hill today.
*
No fish.
Hmm.
Oh, fish in my stomach
right now would be amazing.
My number one priority
right now
is trying to get
some protein.
And if the fish just dried up,
then I'm just gonna
start focusing on birds.
[wind whistling]
I'd like to make a--
a bird trap.
I'm gonna make a box
with reeds.
And, um, there'll be four more
pieces for wood on the top,
and then I'll tie them
all together,
and the box will fall down
onto a bird when they trigger
the trigger line.
*
And the birds around here--I
haven't seen very many big ones,
so this doesn't
have to be huge.
*
Okay.
So there's
one side of the box.
Just trying
to keep myself busy,
keep myself off my...
Dwelling on the fact that
it's my little boy's
birthday today.
It's the first birthday
I've missed.
*
Gosh, I miss my children
so much--and my husband.
And just being alone,
away from them,
just makes me
really appreciate
how good I have it.
There was a bit
of my rose hips that...
Something I got into
the first couple of days.
They're kind of rotting now,
and I had saved them.
I save almost everything
just in case I want to use it.
So what you do is,
do a little bit of a trail
leading up to the box.
And then
throw a handful in the box.
And then the animal
would go towards that.
And your edge of the box
should just be resting
on the one stick,
not on the pegs.
And that's it.
*
*
[fire crackling]
- What did we achieve today?
This is
my wizard staff journal,
the story
of my adventure here.
The special things
that happened,
with the symbols,
I can remember it.
All right, today...
Fire, 'cause
we kept it going.
Little old man and his cane,
crutch and--grabbing his back,
going, "Ohh, my back."
That's my physical feel now.
*
Making things makes me happy.
Keep myself from getting bored.
Smoothed out my thimble.
I find that
it is very important
to keep your mind busy,
especially after 4:00.
4:00,
you're used to going home
and being with your family.
I have this little
wizarding wand I'm making here.
[fire crackling]
[sighs]
Sometimes, it's hard to work
on stuff for them.
[fire crackling]
I miss them all so much.
[fire crackling]
[dramatic music]
*
*
*
- Now I know
what wildlife goes through
when the weather gets rough.
Have to really scrounge
for their food.
I have a new appreciation
for...
What animals in the forest
have to go through.
*
You can tell
things are changing.
Like, the fish
don't seem to be biting.
There's no mushrooms left.
Some of the forage
material's, um, turning.
And now I'm gonna focus
just on birds.
I finished a bird box.
I have to go back to see
if they were triggered.
*
[bleep].
[bleep].
Oh, I just checked
my bird box,
and something triggered it
but managed to get out.
'Cause all the bait inside
has been eaten.
I'll have to fix it
and reset it.
*
I'm going to check out
my hare snares
and my fox snare
at the top of the hill.
*
This is getting long,
this journey.
*
It's not as fun anymore.
*
The weather's
turned to [bleep].
I'm starving.
It's cold.
*
I'm running on
very, very low energy.
*
Oh, it'd be so nice
to get a rabbit.
*
Oh, my gosh.
*
Great.
*
I did have it.
Ugh.
*
Man, oh, man.
Jeez, Louise.
Look at that.
That is a fluffy, fat rabbit.
There's all this new fur
from the rabbit,
and I thought maybe it had just
bumped into this bush,
but it ripped out...
*
There's a snare here,
so it obviously got stuck
in the snare and then
ripped its way out of it
and got caught up in there
for a bit.
Super frustrating.
I almost had that rabbit...
Again.
*
This is definitely one
of the harder days I've had.
[rain falling]
And it's really rainy.
I'm running on very limited
calories right now,
and, um, I'm trying to really
conserve energy, and...
And also just be really careful
about getting too cold,
which will drain energy
from my body as well,
and I don't want to get sick.
*
*
- Yup.
We got one.
Boo-ya!
Boo. Ya.
Boo-ya, baby.
We got fish.
Hey, hey, ho, hey, hey.
Oh, beautiful fish.
Thank you so much
for your life.
[thwacking]
*
We have got a beauty here.
*
Thank you!
Whoo-whoo!
*
Whoa, lots of eggs.
Oh, I'm sorry, mama.
*
Check out all those eggs.
*
[whistles]
Whoa, roe.
*
We are going to prep this up
for feasting.
*
We have had
an abundant forage today.
Let me just show you this
really fast.
Look at this.
Look at that.
We've got our fish.
Our fish roe.
A ridiculous amount of greens.
And, uh, lots of mushies.
I love a good feast
from the land.
*
This land has been
so good to me.
*
Given me good food.
Good medicine.
*
The last couple days
have given me such...
Reflection on the journey.
I think I came into this
with way too much
competitive nature,
and I put a lot of pressure
on myself--
that I didn't even
realize I had--to win,
to buy my land.
And I think my body took on
a lot of that stress.
And suddenly,
when I let go...
It gave me
this profound release.
I'm starting to feel
the call home.
[rain falling]
* Pa-a-a-tagonia's
* Been calling me
back to my home *
* Pa-a-a-tagonia's
* Been calling me
back to my home *
* And if home
is where I land *
* Then the land's my home
* If home is where I stand,
then I'm standing alone *
* If home is where I land,
then the land's my home *
* If home is where I stand,
then I'm standing alone *
[dramatic music]
*
*
*
- Such a constant battle,
trying to get...
Traps set up,
traps re-set up after weather,
traps re-set up after
animals run through them.
Trying to get bait.
It's such a constant struggle
trying to get food out here.
*
At least I manage to forage
quite a bit,
so at least I'm getting
some food in me.
*
I need to keep eating
and keep calories coming in.
*
But, uh, the protein
is this constant chase.
I need to catch more fish.
Those reeds out there...
Are my nemesis.
It's not the best lake
to try to set a gill net,
as I found out.
[water splashing]
Ah!
[bleep].
Ugh!
Just looking at my gill net,
and nothing appears to be in it,
so I'm gonna pull it,
and, uh, probably use it
for some other--
other stuff.
So I'm just making this,
uh, dip net.
Taking my gill net,
which I cut in half,
and then I've sewn up
the sides here
to make a bit of a pouch.
This is the 20-pound test line
that I just cut down
the other day
that never caught me fish.
*
I could pull this string
to tighten it up at the top
if it's stuck on reeds,
so the fish doesn't
get out the top.
And, uh...
Then when I go to use it again,
I just loosen it.
*
My dip net.
*
I'm checking
some of the fishing lines.
[waves lapping]
There's a fish. Awesome.
Oh, my goodness.
So I have a fish
caught on the reeds.
I'm gonna try out my, uh,
dip net that I made.
*
Oh, it's cold.
Definitely do not want
to fall in and get wet.
*
Whoa! It's so deep.
*
He's not very huge, but...
Definitely give me
some protein.
*
[bleep].
Oh, my God, I got him.
My dip net works.
I got him.
I'm so happy.
Oh, my gosh.
Oh...
Yes!
I'm gonna mark--I'm gonna
patent that net system,
for when you're fishing
in Patagonia alone.
This is what you need.
Ah, I'm so excited.
A fish!
Ah.
*
It's amazing...the cycle.
It's like drought...
And then you actually
get a little bit of something
that helps get you more things.
There are so many lessons
to be learned from nature.
And I want my children to
at least be exposed to that.
There will be hurdles
and challenges.
Nothing worthwhile
comes easy.
*
- [sighs]
*
Every day, I feel, "Yay!
It's a good day to be alive."
You know?
This is great.
This is quite the adventure.
And as night draws on
and I become more tired...
And it's like, "Ugh.
"Can't wait
for this to be over,
I want to be at home
doing my thing there."
Ah! I feel like the man
who struggles
with becoming a werewolf
at night, you know?
*
Firewood land.
*
Start with
grabbing that big log.
[grunts]
This thing's heavy.
[groaning]
Missing the comforts of home
even more today
than I have for days.
*
The more I try not to think
about them, the more I do.
*
Well, this is not the good-bye
we thought of.
There's the car
on the side of the road.
Our rescuer's here
in a Subaru.
I love you, hon.
I love you, Sparrow.
I had to leave my wife
and my two daughters
with our new vehicle broke
down on the side of the road.
I'll see you
when I get back, okay?
While I had to hitchhike
a ride to the airport
to come to Patagonia.
[overlapping chatter]
I love you, Sparrow.
Not able to say good-bye
at the airport...
That was horrible.
*
[sniffles]
[exhales]
When you're out here
by yourself...
[inhales]
You think about family
and how much they mean to you.
The weight,
the gravity on your chest
is just...
So strong.
The pull on my heart...
To be with them...
Those two little girls of mine
and that beautiful wife...
It's so hard.
[dramatic music]
*
[birds chirping]
[electronic beep]
[beeping]
[birds chirping]
[beep]
- Hey, so I am officially...
Tapping out.
Thanks.
Okay, bye.
[water lapping]
Well, that's it.
Wow.
That was easy.
Crazy!
[waves lapping]
Whoa.
[inhales and sniffles]
[sighs]
[exhales]
[sniffles]
[laughing]
*
[laughing]
Ohh.
[laughing]
Hey, guys.
Wow.
*
[chuckling]
- It feels...
It's so mixed emotions.
Yeah.
But it feels great.
You know, I kind of
decided, uh, yesterday.
I didn't want to leave
on any other terms
but feeling complete
in the journey, and I do.
*
From the beginning,
I saw this experience
as an opportunity
to buy my land and to have
this outcome of me winning.
And at a certain point,
I saw that I was holding
too tightly
to this material goal.
But when we hold so tightly
to something,
we don't allow
other things to come in.
I had to shed that,
and when I did, I realized,
it doesn't matter what the
outcome to any situation is.
It's about
being in this moment.
It's about the journey
and finding a deeper sense
of my own voice.
Finding a deeper sense
of my own self-worth.
And by being out here
for so long,
truly on your own,
you develop this
relationship with yourself
that is so profound.
And I communicate
with myself in a way that
I never thought possible.
I only can imagine
how this is gonna serve me
in the rest of my life.
[dramatic swell]
- Yes, yes, oh, my goodness.
A fish.
I was not expecting that.
- I'm gonna eat tonight.
Oh, no!
Things are not going well.
- I'm getting quite thin.
I definitely feel like
I'm living each day here
as if it could be
my last day.
- [sighs]
It's amazing how breathing
is so difficult
when you don't have
a lot of calories.
[yells]
[dramatic music]
*