Alone (2015–…): Season 2, Episode 4 - Hunger's Grip - full transcript
*
*
- Something as stupid
as cutting myself with an axe
took me out of this
unbelievable experience
of a lifetime.
- That's the catch
of the day--
some kind of gnarly-looking
seaweed.
If I don't start catching
fish and soon, I'm a goner.
- [gasps]
There's a bear.
All right, bear,
you stay over there.
Please stay away from my camp.
Thank you.
- They don't call this "Alone"
for no reason.
[creature growling]
- It's like a whining
and a really deep sniffing
right here at
the back of my head.
Get on out of here!
[roaring]
- Who are you when everything's
been stripped away?
[bleep].
- [yelping]
- It's scary out here
in these woods.
- I have not had
a serious meal in a week.
- If I can't get a fire,
then I can't stay here.
- It's always in the back
of your mind,
"Well, I could tap out."
- Putting up
with this filming bull[bleep]?
- Running into a predator,
it's not an if.
It's a when.
Get the hell out of here.
I see you.
Get out of here!
- I'm living
a hand-to-mouth existence.
Yes!
Ah!
- $500,000
is a lot of money.
- It's just gonna keep
getting harder.
- It's not the world
that needs to change.
It's me
that needs to change.
- [moans]
*
[dark music]
*
[horn blaring]
- Get on out of here!
Get!
You heard me--get!
[horn blaring]
[horn blaring]
[bear growling]
[sighs]
Okay.
[flare hissing]
[animal whining]
Get the hell out of here.
I see you.
Get out of here!
[bear grunts]
Go on--get!
*
Oh, man.
That is a cub.
*
Okay.
All right.
I couldn't figure out
what in the hell it was.
I've never heard noise
like that come from an animal.
Turned out it wasn't one animal.
It was two.
It was Mama and a cub.
The mama was making
the huffing noise,
and the baby was making
the neighing noise.
I hope Baby is okay.
God.
Oh.
*
You know,
this just brought back
the rage monster that I had,
and I hate that part of me.
I can't stand that part of me.
Being good at violence
is not good.
And it kills me,
but that's exactly
what the hell I reverted
back to here tonight.
[crying]
*
You know, I hate to do it,
but...I'm gonna tap.
*
It was just starting to feel
peaceful here, you know?
*
That quietness, you know?
*
[bleep].
Sorry.
[bleep].
*
- Hey.
- I'm rattled.
I'm not gonna lie.
When I saw the little bear,
it just--this feeling of remorse
hit me for being
so aggressive over it,
because that's the way
I've always been.
I've just been uber-aggressive,
and I just felt really bad.
*
My heart aches for tapping,
because I feel like I quit,
and I don't quit stuff.
I feel like I'm leaving
a little bit undone.
It's just that I know
that I don't want to be
in physical confrontations
anymore in my life.
That part of my life is gone,
and it's over.
I can't do it.
Mother Nature's gonna
bring everything out,
and maybe this is her way
of telling me
it's my time to go back.
I don't know.
As they say it,
one hell of an "amen."
*
*
- Last night, well,
I suppose about midnight,
I was sound asleep
and dreaming.
I don't know what
I was dreaming about.
Most likely Barbara.
But...
I felt her kiss me.
And so I kissed her back.
And then I woke up,
and a slug
was crawling across my lips.
And I kissed a slug
in the middle of the night,
thinking it was Barbara.
That's nasty.
And I hope that didn't
scar you for life.
*
Got myself all fed.
I had fish
because of the gill net.
But now,
I've got plans for my shelter,
and I can't wait
to get on them.
You know, I want to build
the drying rack over the fire.
*
Everything is so super wet.
Firewood won't burn.
Now it'll just be a matter
of driving in four stakes...
*
And then tying
two poles to that.
And then the racks crossed it.
We'll just have it all
above the fire,
so on long, rainy days,
I can be busy
drying out wood like this.
So I've got the basic
three piles going here:
the bigger wood--
sticks about that thick.
And then sticks
not quite as thick,
and then
much skinnier,
thinner sticks.
That's just me.
I'm a neat freak.
I just like everything orderly.
I like to know
where stuff is,
and I don't want stuff
in the way.
and if it's all disorderly,
then I don't feel at peace
or at rest with it,
and--don't know
why I'm that way.
Perhaps it was being
in the orphanage
and having so few things
and wanting them just so-so.
My mind needs to stay busy.
*
- This morning, lying in bed,
I started thinking about tacos.
Oh, my goodness, tacos.
And that's the two things
I've missed the most:
fried chicken and tacos.
I get thinking about
this bucket of chicken,
and I just can't stop
thinking about it.
*
Yes, I'll have four
original recipe thighs,
the potato wedges...
*
And a big, old Coke.
Oh, yeah.
When you're this hungry,
food like that
grabs a hold of your brain,
and it just doesn't let you go.
*
Starvation really
does get to you,
and I am starving.
The lack of food is really
putting me at a low burn.
I just don't have
the energy to do anything.
I'm just numb with hunger.
I haven't eaten in--
what day is it?
I haven't even been counting.
It's terrible.
Go check my gill net.
Oh.
Disappointing.
There is nothing in
my commercially-made gill net.
Nada.
Zip.
Zero.
Zilch.
No fishies.
Nothing.
Just a big, hollow
sucking sound
from my net.
*
It mocks me.
*
I'm not really impressed
with that gill net.
The mesh size
on it seems very small.
Fish would just
bounce off that net.
*
If I can't get fish,
I'm not gonna make it.
*
[dramatic music]
*
*
- It's day 276.
I have learned how
to communicate with the animals.
[laughing]
Ah.
*
See, I'm gonna take a walk--
check my net.
I know there's not gonna
be anything in it,
but we're gonna check it anyway.
Already, my stomach's growling.
I'm really hungry.
Getting stuff from the water
is gonna be tasking,
because the fish
aren't just running up
and jumping
in your arms out there.
*
Ugh.
Oh, [bleep].
We got a fish.
[laughs]
Oh, we got a fish.
Whoo-hoo.
Oh, you're a ugly
[bleep], aren't you?
[laughs]
Ah, so the net actually worked.
I brought a hammock.
Transitioned from
using the hammock
as a hammock
to a gill net.
Anything that I use
for survival situations,
I try to have at least
two uses for it.
That is the military-type
mentality of survival.
*
No idea what kind
of fish that is.
So we need to
cook him up pronto.
I know there's people
out there laughing
at--at how
I'm filleting this fish.
This is definitely not
my strong suit.
And in case any of you
were wondering,
like, "Did this dude
only bring"--
no, I have--I have pants.
I just like wearing shorts.
My legs and my feet
don't get necessarily as cold
as the rest of my body.
Quite a bit of meat there.
I'd say probably 30,
40 grams of protein,
and then all the fats
and fish oil.
*
I'm gonna go over---
try to get a fire started
so we can cook this fish.
Not a bad first meal
from the sea.
About [bleep] time.
*
- Now that I got my drying rack
over the fire itself,
I'm gonna build
an elevated platform
for my kitchen fire.
Just kind of tired
of sitting on the ground.
I'm gonna build it up--
I don't know,
maybe three feet.
And then I can just
work with my fire.
I love these little
kinds of projects.
They give me something to do
to keep my mind occupied,
so I can make it
for the long haul.
I'm looking at this
for a full year.
All right, so I got
the four poles driven in.
Now I'm lashing the crosspieces
that will support the plank
upon which I will put gravel
and a rock and build the fire.
*
My uncle was big-time
into outdoor bushcraft
and survival skills,
and he turned me on to it.
And I'm very thankful for it.
All right,
got my bucket of gravel
just from the beach
here for cooking.
so it'll--it'll withstand heat
for quite a while.
*
And that's my stovetop.
It's a one-burner.
It's all I need, though.
*
Very nice.
Very nice indeed.
I feel like I'm charmed
or something,
because everything
is just going so well.
*
All right, all finished,
and I'm ready to wash up.
I built a hands-free,
foot-operated
gravity flow water faucet
out of a gallon jug
and some cord.
I tied this stick to the tree,
and then I tied
the one-gallon bottle
that washed up here on the beach
right here to the stick.
Then I tied this longer stick
here around the bottle,
and I extended it that far
so that the line
would come up and over
and then down to the pedal.
You just step on
this lever down here.
It'll tip it up,
and then the water flows out
and I can wash my hands.
It's not pretty,
but it gives me
running water hands-free.
You know, the projects keep me
busy throughout the day,
and so time just flies by
because of that.
And so I'll need to keep
thinking of projects
in order to maintain
that feeling out here.
Yeah, so I got my fireplace,
my drying rack
over the fireplace,
my kitchen over there--
and, you know,
my water is simple.
I don't have to work for it--
just simply walk over there
and fill up my containers,
so right on.
*
I have achieved
moderninity here.
*
I just need Barbara.
*
- Protein, man.
I just...
I am still perplexed about
the whole fishing deal.
I'm not Lucas.
I'm not gonna make a canoe.
I'm not gonna make a yurt.
I'm not Alan.
I can't eat just whatever
frickin' crawls by.
I just--I am
what I am, you know?
I'm trying the things
that I know how to do,
and that's all I can do.
I'm not sure what
I'm gonna do for protein.
It's kind of perplexing.
I set up my gill net
and my fishing line,
but they haven't
given me anything.
Phew.
Just like everything else
in this place.
Nothing comes easy.
Nothing comes easy.
*
Today, I want to make
a spear of some sort
just in case I do see something
while I'm climbing along
these rocks at low tide.
I'm not just, "Oh, hey,
there's something.
Too bad I didn't have a spear."
Hard on your forearms.
*
And I'm not very good
with my right hand.
*
Survival here is not easy.
It's--it's work.
It's just--
everything takes time.
There's just never
enough time in the day.
If I got proper rest,
proper food, you know,
maybe it wouldn't be
that big a deal,
but I think it would be.
This terrain is insane.
This spear shouldn't
be this hard.
[laughs]
Only in this frickin' place
is a spear like this this hard.
[laughs]
Oh, my God.
So I split it down the middle.
Then I just start
taking sections off
like slices of the pie.
Just...
*
I'm just going to
shove these down
inside these little slots,
but you got to force it
down in here.
*
There's one.
*
On to another one.
*
The object is just
to spread these fingers out
as much as possible.
*
So you can see it starting
to spread out a little bit.
*
Man, I wish I'd get a fish.
Frickin' starting
to get hungry--
like, really hungry.
Like, "that's all I can think
about is food" hungry.
I don't--I've never been
this hungry ever.
*
Done.
Now I've got a spear point
for when the mammoth comes,
and then I have more
of a shotgun approach
for if I ever see
a fish or a crab
that's big enough
to utilize the spear for.
*
And all the while
I'm doing these projects,
my mind is just racing.
I don't know, man.
I just--I'm doing
the best I can,
and sometimes it's just
not good enough.
*
*
*
- Kind of shocked at how little
I'm getting done,
to be quite honest.
I had envisioned
being farther along
in the process than this.
I've got to solve
the food problem.
I've got to learn
how to fish here.
I'm going to make
another gill net.
That should produce fish.
Thinking about setting up
across there
once I get it built--
get two nets working for me.
In my opinion,
the gill net
is probably the number one
food producer out here,
and I could only
take one gill net.
Nothing says you can't
make a second one.
That's what I'm gonna do.
Probably my best find so far
on this beach has been rope.
I have to kind of take it apart
to get the inner strands of it.
In order to make my gill net,
I have to have
a large volume of fine thread.
So this is the exciting world
of wilderness survival--
a guy sitting in
a beautiful forest
playing with old rope.
Mmm, bucket of chicken right now
would be really, really good.
Mic check.
Microphone.
Microphone.
Yeah, we got a microphone.
I'm good.
The net needle
I made out of cedar.
I carved that a couple days ago.
The first step
of the process
is to tie
a series of loops
all the way down the net,
and then I'm gonna come back
and start netting to them
back and forth,
switching sides on the net--
back and forth,
just going and going.
*
To tie the knots,
you have to pass
the entire ball of string
through the loops,
and that's what the net needle
is all about.
It holds all the string
you're working with
and allows you to pass
the giant coil of string
through the knot.
Tired, underfed,
and dehydrated--
making net.
*
The act of tying net
is not normally
a tiring process.
This is not a great deal
of physical exertion here.
It's just--I need to eat food.
Now, this is gonna
be an ugly gill net,
and it will probably
only catch ugly fish,
but that's okay.
*
Okay.
*
Empty net needle.
Now...
[coughs]
I just got to refill it
and keep going.
It's a long process.
*
*
- Had so many high hopes
of doing so many cool things.
I just feel like I'm just
treading water.
*
[bleep].
Oh, my God.
I got something in my gill net,
and rather than wait
till tonight to get it,
I'm hoping I can race
and beat the tide
and get it right now.
Oh, my God.
I'm so thankful.
You have no idea.
Tide is coming in fast.
Okay, I get to have a good meal.
I'll probably fillet him up.
A little, baby fish.
Oh, and I let him go!
I should've waited till
frickin' low tide.
Damn it.
He squeezed right through there.
Damn it.
I better get out of here
before the tide gets me.
*
The loneliness and the hunger
kind of compound
to make it way more difficult.
Right now, it's--
it's the frickin' hunger, man.
It's always in the back
of your mind:
"Well, I could tap out."
I could be drinking a beer
and having a burger
in about two hours, probably.
I'm missing
substantial calories,
and I can't deal with it
too much longer.
*
*
*
- It is day--
I'm really glad I made this.
I don't know what day it is.
I think it's day eight.
One, two, three, four,
five, six, seven, eight--
no, it is day nine.
Ah!
So I am going to cut a notch--
my morning ritual--
into my...
counting stick,
which apparently I need.
Feels like it's time
that I need to start
thinking about bigger food.
The limpets and the seaweed
and the little crabs,
banana slugs,
and the mushrooms, you know,
they're all delicious,
but I want real big food.
That's the way
that I'm gonna make it.
My plan is to put
my gill net up today.
I have a log out there
to tied one end of
my gill net to.
And then on the other end,
I'm actually gonna need
to pound a piece of wood
into the ground itself,
so I'm gonna use cedar
because it's water resistant.
It's a pretty nice morning view,
I got to say.
*
Bears were just there yesterday,
right behind those two logs.
It looked like
they were fishing,
so that's where
I'm gonna put my gill net.
*
I've never set
a gill net before.
Means I probably won't catch
anything with the first go.
Be really nice if these salmon
started actually running.
I may not have time to set this.
We'll see.
*
I'm running out of low tide,
and I guess I waited too long.
Phew!
That was wet.
And I just got water in my boot.
[bleep].
The tide just came in.
Oh, man.
*
Oh, that was,
like, bad timing.
Crap.
*
All right, well,
it's not perfect,
but we're gonna see how it does.
Attempt number one
looks pretty terrible.
I'm hoping at least
when the tide comes in,
that top line will float
a little bit more.
I'm gonna see.
We're gonna leave it.
Hey, maybe I'll luck out
and get something.
You never know.
Knock on--let's go find
some wood to knock on.
*
[sighs]
*
*
- I am very badly
dehydrated right now.
We've had several days
now without rain,
and that would sound
like a blessing,
but the problem is,
my rain catch is dry,
which means I have to boil
water now to stay hydrated,
which takes a lot
of effort to do that.
*
The lethargy from dehydration
is absolutely the worst.
You just can't move.
You know, your body
can metabolize itself--
consume body fat
and muscle tissue
to make energy--
but it can't do
that to make water.
You've got to put it in.
I don't even feel hungry
right now because I'm thirsty.
That's a bad sign.
*
I have to boil a gallon
of water every day,
or I get dehydrated.
And if I get dehydrated,
I have no energy.
And if I have no energy,
I don't get the work done.
Part of the fire-making process
is having loads
of wood in camp,
but the other part is
that initial flame
and getting a flame going.
And the best way to do that
in this environment
is with cedar bark,
which has been shredded finely,
and spruce resin,
which has been mixed
with the shredded cedar bark.
I've got several spruce trees
here which are gigantic.
They're huge.
This is bleeding,
oozing sap all the way
down the side of the tree,
so this is
the most amazing thing.
And I can come
down with the axe
and scrape all this stuff off.
Cedar bark lights readily,
but it doesn't burn very long.
And the spruce resin
burns a long time,
but it's kind of hard
to light sometimes,
so when you mix the two,
the cedar lights up
the spruce resin,
and then you have
a long-lasting flame.
And this is really sticky stuff,
which is the good thing,
and there's a lot
of resin in there,
so that little bit should
burn a good, long time--
long enough to get these twigs
and things going.
There we go.
See how much easier that was?
Now get this on top--
get these on top of that.
But once I get
some liquid in me,
I'm planning on getting
a lot of fuel
in the shelter here.
I'll probably work on my net.
It's high tide now.
It's almost dead high tide,
and it won't be low tide again
till this evening.
Really, really, really
looking forward
to having a belly
full of liquid.
The thirst has to go.
The dehydration has to go.
No!
Oh.
*
[dramatic music]
*
*
- The thirst has to go.
The dehydration has to go.
No!
Oh.
I did not need that
this morning.
*
I did not swear on camera.
That was good.
That was good.
That was restraint.
*
That was discouraging.
*
And now I have to do this
whole thing over again.
I just don't have any way
around it today.
I have to hydrate.
I have to drink water.
*
I am too stinking
tired, underfed,
and dehydrated to get it
together right now.
But I have to, because
the leading cause of death
in wilderness survival
situations
are hypothermia and
dehydration.
I screwed up.
No excuses.
I'm human.
I admit it.
*
It's a good thing
you folks didn't hear
what I said after
I shut off the camera.
You'd be shocked at
what can come out
of this good, Christian man.
The bears heard.
The cougars heard,
and the wolves heard.
But they don't speak English,
and that's a good thing.
*
- Oh, man.
This place is just
one big, rotten log.
Kind of disappointed in myself.
And yet on the other hand,
I haven't done everything
I can do, but I mean,
I've tried, man.
It's not like
I've been screwing off.
I am getting minor food--
limpets and those
stupid periwinkles.
God, I'm tired of those.
But it just blows me away.
Why is there no fish here?
There's nothing in my gill net.
I'm just not going
deep enough, I think.
I gotta check
my stationary lines.
There's got to be fish here.
*
[laughs]
I got something on my line.
Better be careful
I don't let it go
like I did that little one
on the gill net.
*
[laughs]
[sighs]
*
Oh, [bleep],
I got another one.
*
Dinner tonight, man.
*
Whoo!
*
[bleep] dinner, man.
Whew.
Oh.
Oh, my God.
*
[panting]
*
Oh, right on.
[sniffles, exhales]
*
I don't know what kind
of fish these are.
*
To me, they're called
dinner fish.
*
[laughing]
What do we have here?
My goodness.
Hello, good sir.
Hello, good sir!
Another deuce!
Another double!
Whoo!
*
Wow.
Another one.
Don't you start to fight on me,
you son of a gun.
I'm gonna be skewering
a lot of fish tonight.
*
*
- Spilling that pot of tea
this morning
emotionally,
that kind of set me back.
I was already dehydrated.
Mouth was dry.
I'd done all that work
to get the fire going,
and bam, the thing falls over.
Oh, my goodness.
You know, I'm kicking myself.
How could I be so stupid?
I was just not
paying attention.
I have not eaten a single fish
since I've been here.
My dad always said,
"If you want to catch big fish,
use big hooks and big bait."
*
And he caught big fish.
My dad was
an excellent fisherman.
Why did I not pay attention
to the man?
*
I'm just not a fisherman.
But that can't be an excuse.
That is now the problem
I have to overcome.
I have to learn how
to fish these waters,
and that's a major,
major problem for me.
The reality
of the aloneness part of it
is kind of starting to sink in.
Everything is on me
and my skill set,
and there's nobody
to fall back on
who has a greater expertise.
I haven't talked to anybody
in nine days,
and knowing that
that's gonna continue
and continue and continue
is starting to sink in.
I can just pick up that phone
at any moment
and say, "Take me home."
That bucket of chicken
is a phone call away.
and say, "Take me home."
*
*
- Oh, this meal means
so much to me,
just psychologically--
just knowing that
there are fish out there
in that sea.
*
I mean, I knew
that there were fish,
but just that there were fish
that would come in
right there.
There.
*
Okay, what I did
is I filleted the fish.
Okay, that wastes a lot of meat,
so what I did is
I took the carcasses
and I cut them up,
bones and all,
and that will be my stew.
And I'll have a super-rich broth
to eat for breakfast tomorrow.
Two meals back to back
like that, man,
that should
really help me out.
*
Wow, how lucky to catch
four fish today, man.
Every line that I put out
had fish on a it today.
*
How frickin' awesome is that?
*
*
- Well, I'm going
to check my gill net.
I want to make sure that
I don't miss the salmon run.
Hopefully they're holing up here
getting ready for the run.
I hope they run up
one of these rivers.
That would be wonderful.
You still on?
Hey!
You are.
You're on.
All right.
Oh.
The bears are here.
[bleep].
*
I really want to go
check my gill net,
but I definitely want
to give these bears their space.
My gill net is to the left,
right in line with them,
and the bears are right
to the right.
So they're really close
to my gill net.
I'm not sure what to do.
*
I don't want her to be nervous.
Gonna let them know
that I'm here
and just see what
their reaction is.
Hey, bear!
[clapping]
Human here!
Hi!
Don't worry, you're safe.
Your babies are safe.
*
I need to go check my gill net,
'cause I need to eat.
*
Let's see, if I go
just a little closer,
what she does.
*
Oh, Mama Bear just stood up
on her hind legs.
*
Not good.
[bear growls]
Oh, my God.
- I'm searching for
a sense of place here,
and I'm struggling to find it.
- [bellowing]
- That twisty branch--
that's where I clean my fish.
And it's leaving.
Come on!
- 40, 50-mile-an-hour winds.
Pre-tornado.
I got to go back to camp.
Argh!
- I can leave this experience
at any moment,
but there's that
half-million-dollar prize.
- A little mouse.
My first bit of meat
in 12 days.
*
*
- Something as stupid
as cutting myself with an axe
took me out of this
unbelievable experience
of a lifetime.
- That's the catch
of the day--
some kind of gnarly-looking
seaweed.
If I don't start catching
fish and soon, I'm a goner.
- [gasps]
There's a bear.
All right, bear,
you stay over there.
Please stay away from my camp.
Thank you.
- They don't call this "Alone"
for no reason.
[creature growling]
- It's like a whining
and a really deep sniffing
right here at
the back of my head.
Get on out of here!
[roaring]
- Who are you when everything's
been stripped away?
[bleep].
- [yelping]
- It's scary out here
in these woods.
- I have not had
a serious meal in a week.
- If I can't get a fire,
then I can't stay here.
- It's always in the back
of your mind,
"Well, I could tap out."
- Putting up
with this filming bull[bleep]?
- Running into a predator,
it's not an if.
It's a when.
Get the hell out of here.
I see you.
Get out of here!
- I'm living
a hand-to-mouth existence.
Yes!
Ah!
- $500,000
is a lot of money.
- It's just gonna keep
getting harder.
- It's not the world
that needs to change.
It's me
that needs to change.
- [moans]
*
[dark music]
*
[horn blaring]
- Get on out of here!
Get!
You heard me--get!
[horn blaring]
[horn blaring]
[bear growling]
[sighs]
Okay.
[flare hissing]
[animal whining]
Get the hell out of here.
I see you.
Get out of here!
[bear grunts]
Go on--get!
*
Oh, man.
That is a cub.
*
Okay.
All right.
I couldn't figure out
what in the hell it was.
I've never heard noise
like that come from an animal.
Turned out it wasn't one animal.
It was two.
It was Mama and a cub.
The mama was making
the huffing noise,
and the baby was making
the neighing noise.
I hope Baby is okay.
God.
Oh.
*
You know,
this just brought back
the rage monster that I had,
and I hate that part of me.
I can't stand that part of me.
Being good at violence
is not good.
And it kills me,
but that's exactly
what the hell I reverted
back to here tonight.
[crying]
*
You know, I hate to do it,
but...I'm gonna tap.
*
It was just starting to feel
peaceful here, you know?
*
That quietness, you know?
*
[bleep].
Sorry.
[bleep].
*
- Hey.
- I'm rattled.
I'm not gonna lie.
When I saw the little bear,
it just--this feeling of remorse
hit me for being
so aggressive over it,
because that's the way
I've always been.
I've just been uber-aggressive,
and I just felt really bad.
*
My heart aches for tapping,
because I feel like I quit,
and I don't quit stuff.
I feel like I'm leaving
a little bit undone.
It's just that I know
that I don't want to be
in physical confrontations
anymore in my life.
That part of my life is gone,
and it's over.
I can't do it.
Mother Nature's gonna
bring everything out,
and maybe this is her way
of telling me
it's my time to go back.
I don't know.
As they say it,
one hell of an "amen."
*
*
- Last night, well,
I suppose about midnight,
I was sound asleep
and dreaming.
I don't know what
I was dreaming about.
Most likely Barbara.
But...
I felt her kiss me.
And so I kissed her back.
And then I woke up,
and a slug
was crawling across my lips.
And I kissed a slug
in the middle of the night,
thinking it was Barbara.
That's nasty.
And I hope that didn't
scar you for life.
*
Got myself all fed.
I had fish
because of the gill net.
But now,
I've got plans for my shelter,
and I can't wait
to get on them.
You know, I want to build
the drying rack over the fire.
*
Everything is so super wet.
Firewood won't burn.
Now it'll just be a matter
of driving in four stakes...
*
And then tying
two poles to that.
And then the racks crossed it.
We'll just have it all
above the fire,
so on long, rainy days,
I can be busy
drying out wood like this.
So I've got the basic
three piles going here:
the bigger wood--
sticks about that thick.
And then sticks
not quite as thick,
and then
much skinnier,
thinner sticks.
That's just me.
I'm a neat freak.
I just like everything orderly.
I like to know
where stuff is,
and I don't want stuff
in the way.
and if it's all disorderly,
then I don't feel at peace
or at rest with it,
and--don't know
why I'm that way.
Perhaps it was being
in the orphanage
and having so few things
and wanting them just so-so.
My mind needs to stay busy.
*
- This morning, lying in bed,
I started thinking about tacos.
Oh, my goodness, tacos.
And that's the two things
I've missed the most:
fried chicken and tacos.
I get thinking about
this bucket of chicken,
and I just can't stop
thinking about it.
*
Yes, I'll have four
original recipe thighs,
the potato wedges...
*
And a big, old Coke.
Oh, yeah.
When you're this hungry,
food like that
grabs a hold of your brain,
and it just doesn't let you go.
*
Starvation really
does get to you,
and I am starving.
The lack of food is really
putting me at a low burn.
I just don't have
the energy to do anything.
I'm just numb with hunger.
I haven't eaten in--
what day is it?
I haven't even been counting.
It's terrible.
Go check my gill net.
Oh.
Disappointing.
There is nothing in
my commercially-made gill net.
Nada.
Zip.
Zero.
Zilch.
No fishies.
Nothing.
Just a big, hollow
sucking sound
from my net.
*
It mocks me.
*
I'm not really impressed
with that gill net.
The mesh size
on it seems very small.
Fish would just
bounce off that net.
*
If I can't get fish,
I'm not gonna make it.
*
[dramatic music]
*
*
- It's day 276.
I have learned how
to communicate with the animals.
[laughing]
Ah.
*
See, I'm gonna take a walk--
check my net.
I know there's not gonna
be anything in it,
but we're gonna check it anyway.
Already, my stomach's growling.
I'm really hungry.
Getting stuff from the water
is gonna be tasking,
because the fish
aren't just running up
and jumping
in your arms out there.
*
Ugh.
Oh, [bleep].
We got a fish.
[laughs]
Oh, we got a fish.
Whoo-hoo.
Oh, you're a ugly
[bleep], aren't you?
[laughs]
Ah, so the net actually worked.
I brought a hammock.
Transitioned from
using the hammock
as a hammock
to a gill net.
Anything that I use
for survival situations,
I try to have at least
two uses for it.
That is the military-type
mentality of survival.
*
No idea what kind
of fish that is.
So we need to
cook him up pronto.
I know there's people
out there laughing
at--at how
I'm filleting this fish.
This is definitely not
my strong suit.
And in case any of you
were wondering,
like, "Did this dude
only bring"--
no, I have--I have pants.
I just like wearing shorts.
My legs and my feet
don't get necessarily as cold
as the rest of my body.
Quite a bit of meat there.
I'd say probably 30,
40 grams of protein,
and then all the fats
and fish oil.
*
I'm gonna go over---
try to get a fire started
so we can cook this fish.
Not a bad first meal
from the sea.
About [bleep] time.
*
- Now that I got my drying rack
over the fire itself,
I'm gonna build
an elevated platform
for my kitchen fire.
Just kind of tired
of sitting on the ground.
I'm gonna build it up--
I don't know,
maybe three feet.
And then I can just
work with my fire.
I love these little
kinds of projects.
They give me something to do
to keep my mind occupied,
so I can make it
for the long haul.
I'm looking at this
for a full year.
All right, so I got
the four poles driven in.
Now I'm lashing the crosspieces
that will support the plank
upon which I will put gravel
and a rock and build the fire.
*
My uncle was big-time
into outdoor bushcraft
and survival skills,
and he turned me on to it.
And I'm very thankful for it.
All right,
got my bucket of gravel
just from the beach
here for cooking.
so it'll--it'll withstand heat
for quite a while.
*
And that's my stovetop.
It's a one-burner.
It's all I need, though.
*
Very nice.
Very nice indeed.
I feel like I'm charmed
or something,
because everything
is just going so well.
*
All right, all finished,
and I'm ready to wash up.
I built a hands-free,
foot-operated
gravity flow water faucet
out of a gallon jug
and some cord.
I tied this stick to the tree,
and then I tied
the one-gallon bottle
that washed up here on the beach
right here to the stick.
Then I tied this longer stick
here around the bottle,
and I extended it that far
so that the line
would come up and over
and then down to the pedal.
You just step on
this lever down here.
It'll tip it up,
and then the water flows out
and I can wash my hands.
It's not pretty,
but it gives me
running water hands-free.
You know, the projects keep me
busy throughout the day,
and so time just flies by
because of that.
And so I'll need to keep
thinking of projects
in order to maintain
that feeling out here.
Yeah, so I got my fireplace,
my drying rack
over the fireplace,
my kitchen over there--
and, you know,
my water is simple.
I don't have to work for it--
just simply walk over there
and fill up my containers,
so right on.
*
I have achieved
moderninity here.
*
I just need Barbara.
*
- Protein, man.
I just...
I am still perplexed about
the whole fishing deal.
I'm not Lucas.
I'm not gonna make a canoe.
I'm not gonna make a yurt.
I'm not Alan.
I can't eat just whatever
frickin' crawls by.
I just--I am
what I am, you know?
I'm trying the things
that I know how to do,
and that's all I can do.
I'm not sure what
I'm gonna do for protein.
It's kind of perplexing.
I set up my gill net
and my fishing line,
but they haven't
given me anything.
Phew.
Just like everything else
in this place.
Nothing comes easy.
Nothing comes easy.
*
Today, I want to make
a spear of some sort
just in case I do see something
while I'm climbing along
these rocks at low tide.
I'm not just, "Oh, hey,
there's something.
Too bad I didn't have a spear."
Hard on your forearms.
*
And I'm not very good
with my right hand.
*
Survival here is not easy.
It's--it's work.
It's just--
everything takes time.
There's just never
enough time in the day.
If I got proper rest,
proper food, you know,
maybe it wouldn't be
that big a deal,
but I think it would be.
This terrain is insane.
This spear shouldn't
be this hard.
[laughs]
Only in this frickin' place
is a spear like this this hard.
[laughs]
Oh, my God.
So I split it down the middle.
Then I just start
taking sections off
like slices of the pie.
Just...
*
I'm just going to
shove these down
inside these little slots,
but you got to force it
down in here.
*
There's one.
*
On to another one.
*
The object is just
to spread these fingers out
as much as possible.
*
So you can see it starting
to spread out a little bit.
*
Man, I wish I'd get a fish.
Frickin' starting
to get hungry--
like, really hungry.
Like, "that's all I can think
about is food" hungry.
I don't--I've never been
this hungry ever.
*
Done.
Now I've got a spear point
for when the mammoth comes,
and then I have more
of a shotgun approach
for if I ever see
a fish or a crab
that's big enough
to utilize the spear for.
*
And all the while
I'm doing these projects,
my mind is just racing.
I don't know, man.
I just--I'm doing
the best I can,
and sometimes it's just
not good enough.
*
*
*
- Kind of shocked at how little
I'm getting done,
to be quite honest.
I had envisioned
being farther along
in the process than this.
I've got to solve
the food problem.
I've got to learn
how to fish here.
I'm going to make
another gill net.
That should produce fish.
Thinking about setting up
across there
once I get it built--
get two nets working for me.
In my opinion,
the gill net
is probably the number one
food producer out here,
and I could only
take one gill net.
Nothing says you can't
make a second one.
That's what I'm gonna do.
Probably my best find so far
on this beach has been rope.
I have to kind of take it apart
to get the inner strands of it.
In order to make my gill net,
I have to have
a large volume of fine thread.
So this is the exciting world
of wilderness survival--
a guy sitting in
a beautiful forest
playing with old rope.
Mmm, bucket of chicken right now
would be really, really good.
Mic check.
Microphone.
Microphone.
Yeah, we got a microphone.
I'm good.
The net needle
I made out of cedar.
I carved that a couple days ago.
The first step
of the process
is to tie
a series of loops
all the way down the net,
and then I'm gonna come back
and start netting to them
back and forth,
switching sides on the net--
back and forth,
just going and going.
*
To tie the knots,
you have to pass
the entire ball of string
through the loops,
and that's what the net needle
is all about.
It holds all the string
you're working with
and allows you to pass
the giant coil of string
through the knot.
Tired, underfed,
and dehydrated--
making net.
*
The act of tying net
is not normally
a tiring process.
This is not a great deal
of physical exertion here.
It's just--I need to eat food.
Now, this is gonna
be an ugly gill net,
and it will probably
only catch ugly fish,
but that's okay.
*
Okay.
*
Empty net needle.
Now...
[coughs]
I just got to refill it
and keep going.
It's a long process.
*
*
- Had so many high hopes
of doing so many cool things.
I just feel like I'm just
treading water.
*
[bleep].
Oh, my God.
I got something in my gill net,
and rather than wait
till tonight to get it,
I'm hoping I can race
and beat the tide
and get it right now.
Oh, my God.
I'm so thankful.
You have no idea.
Tide is coming in fast.
Okay, I get to have a good meal.
I'll probably fillet him up.
A little, baby fish.
Oh, and I let him go!
I should've waited till
frickin' low tide.
Damn it.
He squeezed right through there.
Damn it.
I better get out of here
before the tide gets me.
*
The loneliness and the hunger
kind of compound
to make it way more difficult.
Right now, it's--
it's the frickin' hunger, man.
It's always in the back
of your mind:
"Well, I could tap out."
I could be drinking a beer
and having a burger
in about two hours, probably.
I'm missing
substantial calories,
and I can't deal with it
too much longer.
*
*
*
- It is day--
I'm really glad I made this.
I don't know what day it is.
I think it's day eight.
One, two, three, four,
five, six, seven, eight--
no, it is day nine.
Ah!
So I am going to cut a notch--
my morning ritual--
into my...
counting stick,
which apparently I need.
Feels like it's time
that I need to start
thinking about bigger food.
The limpets and the seaweed
and the little crabs,
banana slugs,
and the mushrooms, you know,
they're all delicious,
but I want real big food.
That's the way
that I'm gonna make it.
My plan is to put
my gill net up today.
I have a log out there
to tied one end of
my gill net to.
And then on the other end,
I'm actually gonna need
to pound a piece of wood
into the ground itself,
so I'm gonna use cedar
because it's water resistant.
It's a pretty nice morning view,
I got to say.
*
Bears were just there yesterday,
right behind those two logs.
It looked like
they were fishing,
so that's where
I'm gonna put my gill net.
*
I've never set
a gill net before.
Means I probably won't catch
anything with the first go.
Be really nice if these salmon
started actually running.
I may not have time to set this.
We'll see.
*
I'm running out of low tide,
and I guess I waited too long.
Phew!
That was wet.
And I just got water in my boot.
[bleep].
The tide just came in.
Oh, man.
*
Oh, that was,
like, bad timing.
Crap.
*
All right, well,
it's not perfect,
but we're gonna see how it does.
Attempt number one
looks pretty terrible.
I'm hoping at least
when the tide comes in,
that top line will float
a little bit more.
I'm gonna see.
We're gonna leave it.
Hey, maybe I'll luck out
and get something.
You never know.
Knock on--let's go find
some wood to knock on.
*
[sighs]
*
*
- I am very badly
dehydrated right now.
We've had several days
now without rain,
and that would sound
like a blessing,
but the problem is,
my rain catch is dry,
which means I have to boil
water now to stay hydrated,
which takes a lot
of effort to do that.
*
The lethargy from dehydration
is absolutely the worst.
You just can't move.
You know, your body
can metabolize itself--
consume body fat
and muscle tissue
to make energy--
but it can't do
that to make water.
You've got to put it in.
I don't even feel hungry
right now because I'm thirsty.
That's a bad sign.
*
I have to boil a gallon
of water every day,
or I get dehydrated.
And if I get dehydrated,
I have no energy.
And if I have no energy,
I don't get the work done.
Part of the fire-making process
is having loads
of wood in camp,
but the other part is
that initial flame
and getting a flame going.
And the best way to do that
in this environment
is with cedar bark,
which has been shredded finely,
and spruce resin,
which has been mixed
with the shredded cedar bark.
I've got several spruce trees
here which are gigantic.
They're huge.
This is bleeding,
oozing sap all the way
down the side of the tree,
so this is
the most amazing thing.
And I can come
down with the axe
and scrape all this stuff off.
Cedar bark lights readily,
but it doesn't burn very long.
And the spruce resin
burns a long time,
but it's kind of hard
to light sometimes,
so when you mix the two,
the cedar lights up
the spruce resin,
and then you have
a long-lasting flame.
And this is really sticky stuff,
which is the good thing,
and there's a lot
of resin in there,
so that little bit should
burn a good, long time--
long enough to get these twigs
and things going.
There we go.
See how much easier that was?
Now get this on top--
get these on top of that.
But once I get
some liquid in me,
I'm planning on getting
a lot of fuel
in the shelter here.
I'll probably work on my net.
It's high tide now.
It's almost dead high tide,
and it won't be low tide again
till this evening.
Really, really, really
looking forward
to having a belly
full of liquid.
The thirst has to go.
The dehydration has to go.
No!
Oh.
*
[dramatic music]
*
*
- The thirst has to go.
The dehydration has to go.
No!
Oh.
I did not need that
this morning.
*
I did not swear on camera.
That was good.
That was good.
That was restraint.
*
That was discouraging.
*
And now I have to do this
whole thing over again.
I just don't have any way
around it today.
I have to hydrate.
I have to drink water.
*
I am too stinking
tired, underfed,
and dehydrated to get it
together right now.
But I have to, because
the leading cause of death
in wilderness survival
situations
are hypothermia and
dehydration.
I screwed up.
No excuses.
I'm human.
I admit it.
*
It's a good thing
you folks didn't hear
what I said after
I shut off the camera.
You'd be shocked at
what can come out
of this good, Christian man.
The bears heard.
The cougars heard,
and the wolves heard.
But they don't speak English,
and that's a good thing.
*
- Oh, man.
This place is just
one big, rotten log.
Kind of disappointed in myself.
And yet on the other hand,
I haven't done everything
I can do, but I mean,
I've tried, man.
It's not like
I've been screwing off.
I am getting minor food--
limpets and those
stupid periwinkles.
God, I'm tired of those.
But it just blows me away.
Why is there no fish here?
There's nothing in my gill net.
I'm just not going
deep enough, I think.
I gotta check
my stationary lines.
There's got to be fish here.
*
[laughs]
I got something on my line.
Better be careful
I don't let it go
like I did that little one
on the gill net.
*
[laughs]
[sighs]
*
Oh, [bleep],
I got another one.
*
Dinner tonight, man.
*
Whoo!
*
[bleep] dinner, man.
Whew.
Oh.
Oh, my God.
*
[panting]
*
Oh, right on.
[sniffles, exhales]
*
I don't know what kind
of fish these are.
*
To me, they're called
dinner fish.
*
[laughing]
What do we have here?
My goodness.
Hello, good sir.
Hello, good sir!
Another deuce!
Another double!
Whoo!
*
Wow.
Another one.
Don't you start to fight on me,
you son of a gun.
I'm gonna be skewering
a lot of fish tonight.
*
*
- Spilling that pot of tea
this morning
emotionally,
that kind of set me back.
I was already dehydrated.
Mouth was dry.
I'd done all that work
to get the fire going,
and bam, the thing falls over.
Oh, my goodness.
You know, I'm kicking myself.
How could I be so stupid?
I was just not
paying attention.
I have not eaten a single fish
since I've been here.
My dad always said,
"If you want to catch big fish,
use big hooks and big bait."
*
And he caught big fish.
My dad was
an excellent fisherman.
Why did I not pay attention
to the man?
*
I'm just not a fisherman.
But that can't be an excuse.
That is now the problem
I have to overcome.
I have to learn how
to fish these waters,
and that's a major,
major problem for me.
The reality
of the aloneness part of it
is kind of starting to sink in.
Everything is on me
and my skill set,
and there's nobody
to fall back on
who has a greater expertise.
I haven't talked to anybody
in nine days,
and knowing that
that's gonna continue
and continue and continue
is starting to sink in.
I can just pick up that phone
at any moment
and say, "Take me home."
That bucket of chicken
is a phone call away.
and say, "Take me home."
*
*
- Oh, this meal means
so much to me,
just psychologically--
just knowing that
there are fish out there
in that sea.
*
I mean, I knew
that there were fish,
but just that there were fish
that would come in
right there.
There.
*
Okay, what I did
is I filleted the fish.
Okay, that wastes a lot of meat,
so what I did is
I took the carcasses
and I cut them up,
bones and all,
and that will be my stew.
And I'll have a super-rich broth
to eat for breakfast tomorrow.
Two meals back to back
like that, man,
that should
really help me out.
*
Wow, how lucky to catch
four fish today, man.
Every line that I put out
had fish on a it today.
*
How frickin' awesome is that?
*
*
- Well, I'm going
to check my gill net.
I want to make sure that
I don't miss the salmon run.
Hopefully they're holing up here
getting ready for the run.
I hope they run up
one of these rivers.
That would be wonderful.
You still on?
Hey!
You are.
You're on.
All right.
Oh.
The bears are here.
[bleep].
*
I really want to go
check my gill net,
but I definitely want
to give these bears their space.
My gill net is to the left,
right in line with them,
and the bears are right
to the right.
So they're really close
to my gill net.
I'm not sure what to do.
*
I don't want her to be nervous.
Gonna let them know
that I'm here
and just see what
their reaction is.
Hey, bear!
[clapping]
Human here!
Hi!
Don't worry, you're safe.
Your babies are safe.
*
I need to go check my gill net,
'cause I need to eat.
*
Let's see, if I go
just a little closer,
what she does.
*
Oh, Mama Bear just stood up
on her hind legs.
*
Not good.
[bear growls]
Oh, my God.
- I'm searching for
a sense of place here,
and I'm struggling to find it.
- [bellowing]
- That twisty branch--
that's where I clean my fish.
And it's leaving.
Come on!
- 40, 50-mile-an-hour winds.
Pre-tornado.
I got to go back to camp.
Argh!
- I can leave this experience
at any moment,
but there's that
half-million-dollar prize.
- A little mouse.
My first bit of meat
in 12 days.
*