Alone (2015–…): Season 1, Episode 5 - Winds of Hell - full transcript

[dramatic music]

¶ ¶

(Sam)
It's really easy,
in this type of environment,

to just become
your own worst enemy.

(Dustin)
I'm so frustrated
by not performing better yet.

[bleep].

[groaning]

(Brant)
The solitude,
it's driving me insane.

I think I'm too far gone.

I'm tapping out;
I'm done.

I will not spend
another night in there.



(Alan)
This has been the longest day
since I've been here,

and I think they'll
probably get longer.

You spend a lot of time
alone in the wilderness,

you better like yourself.

(Mitch)
Pretty sure I just saw a cougar
about ten feet by my front door.

I could hear it out there.

If I die tonight,
I just want my wife

and my daughter to know
that I think of them every day.

(Brant)
This is gonna be a bitch.

(Chris)
We have to film it,
and we're totally alone.

(Dustin)
Nobody knows what it's like here

except for the ten guys out here
doing it.

Time to get shelter.

(Dustin)
There's nobody here but me.



(Lucas)
It's just so hard
doing this alone.

(Josh)
I'm scared to death right now.

(Alan)
I feel like I'm starving.

[wolf howls]

[animal growling]

(Mitch)
Pretty sure I just saw a cougar.

(Wayne)
Oh, [bleep].

(man)
The last man standing
wins $500,000.

I don't want to go home.
I want to win.

(Wayne)
This is the chance
in a lifetime,

but it's not worth dying over.

¶ ¶

(Mitch)
Definitely the biggest fish
I ever caught.

Time to dig in.

Mmm.

[fire crackling]

[bleep].

Pretty sure I just saw a cougar
about ten feet

from my front door.

Two bright flashing eyes.

When my headlamp hit its face,
it moved really fast

out of the way,
silently.

I could hear it out there.

I have a flare in my hand,
and I have my knife.

Everything is buttoned up,
and I'm gonna try

to get some sleep.

We'll see what happens.

This whole cougar ordeal
has been really stressful.

It could sneak up and be
within two feet of me

if it goes on
my side walls or my door.

I won't even know.

It was literally
about 10 to 12 feet

from my tent.

Got my bear spray
in front of me.

I don't want to use it
in these close quarters,

but I don't want
to die tonight, either.

[fire crackling]

[tree branch snaps]

I could hear it out there.

Everything I've read about them

is that if they decide
to fight you,

you have to basically fight
to the death.

Hope he decides to leave.

[sleeping bag zips]

¶ ¶

[insects chirping]

Last night was
the longest night I've had here.

I had a hard time sleeping.

I'm sitting here in my shelter.

All my stuff is still outside.

I want to build
a nicer shelter eventually.

Then I don't have to worry
about cougars, like, just

walking up on my tent ten feet
from where I'm sleeping.

I haven't seen
that cougar again,

but I think I'm just gonna
hang out here for a bit,

work on my shelter a little bit.

[ax chopping]

¶ ¶

(Dustin)
Check, baby.

Well, it's another
beautiful day.

I didn't do anything
too stupid so far.

I feel good.

I mean, it's a beautiful place.

It's not like
any place I've been.

I might be the first one out,
or I might be the last one out.

No one knows yet, but...

I will never forget
these moments.

This is what life is about.

I watched a sea otter cracking
mussels on his stomach.

I've never seen that before.

That stuff is just perfect.

It's just downright beautiful
today.

Sun, blue skies, flat water--

perfect day in the perfect spot.

My goal is to push
my own limits.

That could be good and bad.

You can really find yourself,

or you could really think
of reasons to leave.

It's gonna be
an interesting experiment.

The amount of stuff
that comes in on this beach

with high tide is unbelievable.

There's cords and cords
of driftwood.

Watch your toes,
big boy.

It's just a matter
of processing it down

and finding a way
to keep it pretty dry

and keep it up out of the water.

Sea otter's still out
in the cove getting fat.

I know it's a competition
with a lot of money at stake.

It's life-changing money,
but I can't be out here

thinking about that.

I have to be out here living
in the moment,

doing what I need to do
to become

part of this landscape--

not in the competition
or as a television personality

but to thrive here
for as long as I can.

Here's a frickin' pallet.

Unbelievable.

That's a wooden pallet.

I just found the front porch
for my shelter.

Jackpot.

¶ ¶

(Lucas)
A lot of today is just
reevaluating, reassessing,

and kind of starting again,

forgiving myself for maybe
making decisions

that maybe aren't the best.

I definitely lucked out
on my site.

This place is unbelievable.

And there's an island out there.

I can't wait to get to it.

I'm gonna let you in
on a little secret:

I hope to build a boat
and to be able

to do some fishing.

¶ ¶

[saw grinding]

(Alan)
I know we've got
some weather moving in,

and there's water
to be purified,

so I'm trying to stay ahead
of the game on wood,

get it before it starts raining.

[saw grinding]

¶ ¶

[wind whooshing]

This storm is coming in
pretty quick.

Man, the sky looks evil.

Holy cow.
My shelter is whipping around.

[wind whistling]

The tarp, at least.

Shelter's pretty solid.

I'm gonna go ahead
and hunker down.

The temperature's dropping.
Oh, man.

Yeah, it's definitely time
to hunker down.

¶ ¶

[saw grinding]

So today is firewood production
and battening down the hatches.

It's already starting to rain
just little drops.

I'm just gonna chop up
this whole tree

and just stack up some firewood.

I don't want to be caught
with my pants down.

¶ ¶

Absolutely miserable weather,
and I'm dragging this thing

back to camp,

trying to, without carving--

breaking it up
into a lot of pieces.

One hand for the limb;
one hand for me saw.

[wind whistling]

I'm feeling cranky today.

[sniffles]
Ah.

Been in a pretty good mood
since I got here

but not so much today.

Kind of over the weather
for right now.

¶ ¶

[waves crashing]

It's blowing pretty hard
down here on the beach.

I think I'm gonna go back up
into the bush and--

I don't know--
the way this wind's blowing,

just lay around
in the shelter and rest.

It's just howling.

I can't imagine
how fire is gonna last up here

and not blow all around
and burn a ton of material.

Yeah, I'm just gonna go--go up
and batten down the hatches

and ride this storm out.

[wind whooshing]

This is no joke.

This is gale force--
gale force stuff.

[wind whooshing]

You can see I'm just surrounded
by trees,

and I've heard three fall
and one crack,

and that's just since
this storm started.

This tree here is
about 18 inches in diameter,

and it's swaying three,
four feet at the top,

just back and forth,
and the wind is just blowing

straight towards me.

¶ ¶

This is not a time
to be in a forest like this.

I mean, it's just
a debris field everywhere here.

I mean, it's bad.

It's bad.

You know, it's one thing
to sit inside your shelter

on a down day,
and, you know,

I've been rambling and rambling

about home and everything,
but...

maybe that's--
maybe that's just a way

of me rationalizing that I'm--
I am afraid.

[wind whistling]

It's unbelievable.

Here comes the wind again.
[BLLEP].

[branches creaking]

[dramatic music]

¶ ¶

[wind whooshing]

¶ ¶

(Alan)
Houston, this ain't good.

I do not like this.

Rain is just now starting
to pick up

as soon as I got down here.

Back to camp.

¶ ¶

(Sam)
The weather has really taken
a turn for the worse.

Had to go outside
and tie everything down.

Man, if it weren't
for this big solid base

on this shelter,
it'd just be gone.

Not what I was expecting
for today.

We probably won't make it out
to get crabs.

The tide has
just barely gone down.

We're just gonna have
to hunker down through this one.

[rain pattering]

[wind whistling]

(Mitch)
There's a storm coming,
because the rain is picking up,

and it's getting colder as well.

That's another sign
there's a storm coming.

And it's coming quick.

It's gonna be here
in maybe an hour or two

at the most.

It's just raining
constantly here.

¶ ¶

[waves crashing]

¶ ¶

I mean, it is just howling.

Makes me feel a little insecure
about my shelter,

I'll tell you that.

I'm sure some people
are thriving here,

but for me, this is way out
of my area of expertise.

I am scared of these conditions,

because this is dangerous.

It's gonna get colder
and wetter,

and the storms are gonna come
more frequently as time goes on.

There's nobody here to help me.

There's nobody here
to tell me what to do.

There's nobody here
to give me advice.

I just hope I make it
through the night.

[waves crashing]

¶ ¶

[wind whistling]

(Lucas)
It's getting bad out there,
guys.

This is the worst one yet.

It's rainy and very windy out.

It's blowing harder than I've--

today than I've seen it get.

Just about as bad as it gets.

The wind's probably blowing,
like, 40, 50 mile an hour

through the trees,
at least.

Then it hits the treetops,
and you just hear it, like--

the trees just going, "Rrrow."

Trees are just collapsing.

I'm hearing trees drop.

Just things are falling
all over the forest.

I'm tired.
I just want to go to bed.

But sometimes you got
to man the ship,

make sure this place
doesn't blow apart.

It's just built
out of sticks and rope.

It's intense.

¶ ¶

[rain pattering]

(Sam)
This is nuts.

[thunder booming]

Wind is just
pounding against--

I'm surprised my shelter
is still up at this point.

Man, I'm really gonna need
to reinforce this thing

if these storms
are gonna keep happening.

It's just been flapping
all over the place.

Rain is coming down in sheets,

huge drops, heavy,

just "boom, boom, boom,
boom, boom."

Shelter is just
whipping around like crazy,

and you can just hear when
a big wind comes over the sea.

You know, and we're on the--

we're on the west side
of the island,

the spot where all the crazy
weather comes through,

you know, pretty much
unimpeded by anything,

from the--from the Pacific.

[loud crash]

[dramatic music]

¶ ¶

(Sam)
There's something
about this place,

just pulls it out of you.

Been out here alone for so long,
it's like, I can't stop thinking

about, like, the way my wife
looks at me sometimes.

(Alan)
I really miss my family.

It's real.

Now I'm starting
to question myself.

You wonder if the people
in your life really know

how much you love them.

(Dustin)
Sitting around all day sucks.

I'm not sure why I wanted
to do it, to be honest.

This is just
completely different

than any other thing
I've ever done.

It makes me question, you know,
why be here?

(Lucas)
This environment's tough.

It's just what's inside me
that's tough sometimes too.

I'm just--just breaking down
a little bit.

¶ ¶

(Mitch)
I don't like being
in these situations at all.

If it doesn't get better,
then I might go home

and continue on with my life.

¶ ¶

It's time to go.

There is hundred-foot-tall trees
right outside my shelter,

just swaying back and forth.

You know, you're just
insignificant in this landscape.

I am afraid.

I didn't come here
to get killed.

I just came out here
to prove this to myself,

and that's no reason
to come out here.

[waves crashing]

I have to live with my decision.

I don't have any regrets
coming here.

I've learned a lot,

and today is the best
I could do.

Whether it's day 5
or day 14 or day 21,

it doesn't matter.

I mean, nobody knows
what it's like here

except for the ten guys
out here doing it.

[boat engine droning]

¶ ¶

I'm just gonna go down
to the beach, hike around,

see if I can get
any easy-to-catch prey.

I know there are little crabs
in the area,

so who knows?

Maybe today will get me
where I need to go.

¶ ¶

The fact that my wife
is pregnant,

that just really kills me.

I have this duty to protect her
and to take care of her

and to comfort her,
and being out in the woods,

you can't do that.

You have to just hope and pray
that she's fine

and that she is somehow
gonna get through it.

¶ ¶

Bunch of 'em.

Man, just a bunch of crabs.

This is awesome.

Official count: 33.
33 crabs.

That's a ton.
That's--

I mean, they're small,
of course,

but this is so freaking awesome.

¶ ¶

Oh, man.
Holy crap.

Oh--oh, shoot.

¶ ¶

Oh, man.

¶ ¶

Easily one of the best tastes
I've ever had.

Maybe it's 'cause I'm starving.

¶ ¶

(Lucas)
Last night was a crazy storm.

I didn't get hardly any sleep.

It was just nasty,

blowing and blowing and blowing,
raining,

and more wind than I've
ever experienced so far,

but today is all about
making a boat.

¶ ¶

So--so on a canoe,

you have the front and the back,

the bow and the stern,
and I'm gonna be making

the internal frame pieces
for that.

It's where all the wood
will come back around

and tie into these pieces--
the front and the back.

And so I've got a piece here.

I'm gonna split it into two,
and then I'm gonna

whittle it down,
chop it down

so it's obvious--
they're pretty similar,

and--and they'll be
the front and the back

of my canoe, essentially.

[ax chopping]

I'm trying to understand
my situation.

If you're living
out in the wild,

you want to be close to water,
which I am,

and you want to be
close to food,

which I am not.

And if that's the case,
I need to get a boat going,

or I need to live right down
next to the ocean,

or both.

And so I want to explore
and see if there is a place

that would be
better to camp.

If I can make a little canoe,
I can cruise around

and find a good location,
maybe even build

before I get there,
maintaining this as my camp,

or I can just do my daily trips
from my boat,

and that would be
enough for food.

That's pretty much
the shape I want.

¶ ¶

All right.

Just found a cedar pole
for my canoe.

I'm gonna split it
down the middle.

¶ ¶

What I'm doing with wood
is making a frame,

so think of it
kind of like a basket,

and then I'll take a tarp
and then wrap it

around that basket,
which will create

the waterproof membrane;
it's called the skin.

[wood tapping]

Switching up game plans.

Trying to be flexible.

Darwin is often misquoted
or misunderstood.

A lot of people quote
Darwin as saying

it's "the survival
of the fittest."

I think, really,
what his work says is,

"survival
of the most adaptable,"

and that means being able
to roll with changes and punches

and things like that.

And certainly out here,
I'm gonna have to do that a lot.

[clicks tongue]

Not gonna work.

¶ ¶

Sometimes I get my mind fixated
on an idea,

and then when that idea
doesn't work out,

I get all disgruntled.

¶ ¶

I think there's a lot
of pressure,

coming out here
to do something great,

you know,
to be someone great

and to make people proud,
make my family proud.

¶ ¶

Well, I just had a...

I think the first good cry
I've had

in a long time.

¶ ¶

I think I just, like, cried
for the last ten minutes

on my knees,

asking for help.

¶ ¶

But I came here
'cause I wanted

to do something great.

¶ ¶

I wanted to--
I wanted to...

make my family proud

and my friends.

And I just don't want
to feel like I'm a loser.

Sometimes I just feel so alone.

I mean, of course I do
right now,

but just sometimes
I feel so alone.

¶ ¶

I just want to feel like
I've succeeded in something.

If I can build this boat
and get it to float,

I'll walk away
with my head up high.

¶ ¶

[dramatic music]

¶ ¶

(Lucas)
Today is gonna be a big day
getting stuff done on the canoe.

If I can make a little canoe,
I can cruise around

and find a good location,

maybe fishing from the boat.

I can just do my daily trips
from my boat,

and that would be
enough for food.

¶ ¶

If I miss any one
of these little poke-y branches,

it could mean sinking
in the ocean,

because it could
puncture through

while I'm putting weight on it,
and I can't have that.

¶ ¶

I've never built
a canoe in my life.

My father taught me
a lot of the basic skills.

He taught me ingenuity.

He taught me craftsmanship.

And he's an amazing man.

¶ ¶

I really took a lot
from my parents.

I learned a lot
from them.

And my father,
as I grew up,

was definitely a hero of mine.

Does this job come
with paper towels?

Maybe some hand sanitizer?

¶ ¶

You know,
there's this moment

where me and my brother Sam
were helping him get firewood.

I was probably, like, nine,
and Sam was probably,

like, five or six,
and I went up to Sam,

and I was like, "Sam,
do you think Dad's amazing?"

He's like, "Yeah."

And I'm like, "Sam, do you think
Dad's your hero?"

And he's like,
"Yeah, definitely."

I'm like,
"We should just say it."

It took me so much courage
to come up to my dad

and, as a kid, say,
"Dad, you're my hero."

And he was like, "Wow."

And we were kids,
and that was cute and all,

but, like, we really meant it.

Like, this--this guy is a...
is a special human being.

This guy isn't
a survival expert, not at all.

I didn't grow up
with a dad like that.

I didn't need to.

He was enough.

So...

thanks, Dad.

Okay, got the front and the end
tied on the canoe,

and now it's just
gonna take some more

getting poles and time.

Um...I'd say I'd be
setting sail

in the end of four days.

Yeah.

¶ ¶

[water trickling]

¶ ¶

[saw grinding]

The emotional experience
and the spiritual experience

that's happening out here
is profound.

The same stuff that's
playing out in my life

plays out out here,
like,

"I don't know
where I should be.

Is this the right place?"

That's the question
I ask myself,

whether I'm here
at this camp, like,

"Is this the right place?"

or I'm out in the real world,

like, "Should I be doing
this right now?

Is this right?"

I just have so much pressure
to be something great.

¶ ¶

My parents went through a split
when I was 14, 15.

I think my mom needed
something else,

or she was feeling
like maybe something

in her life
wasn't working out.

[saw grinding]

I think she wanted--
I think she wanted

to do something great.

[trees rustling]

[rain pattering]

I'm more emotionally raw
than I thought I'd be.

I'm chewing on it right now.

It's coming up.

[rain pattering]

¶ ¶

There are things out here that
make my heart go pitter-patter--

you know, when I hear
a big, crashing noise

in the bush at night
and I get up.

But what I fear most
isn't out in these woods.

I'm feeling things
I don't think I've ever felt,

because there's
always been distractions.

And with everything
just completely obliterated

out of my life,
like, nothing--

no phone, no computer,
no friends,

I actually feel what it's like
to be me.

¶ ¶

Getting there,
slow but sure.

It's cold today, though.

¶ ¶

Yeah, I wonder
if what I'm looking for

is really to be
the last survivor

or more so just really to see
what's inside me.

¶ ¶

Whoo!

This whole process has been
quite a roller coaster

of emotions,
and I wonder

where it's gonna take me.

[rain pattering]

¶ ¶

(Sam)
It's getting tougher and tougher
as the days go by.

¶ ¶

Really, really difficult
at times.

All you want to do is go home
and be warm and dry

and eat some good food
and talk to your wife

at the end of the day.

That's all you want to do.

So while part of me wants to,
like, go back to my shelter

and mope all day,
the other part of me

just wants to go get
some food.

So what I'm gonna do
is go on a hunt

for some bull kelp.

They're pretty much all over,
but I want to find a newer one,

one that's not
all brown and gross.

Even though it's not fish,
it's something, you know?

¶ ¶

There's something really
peaceful about this place,

how it's just surrounded by
these beautiful, towering trees.

¶ ¶

Everything's so green and lush.

I'm not--I'm not usually

a sentimental guy,

not really.

I try to just be goofy
as much as possible.

There's something
about this place,

just pulls it out of you.

For all of week one,
I just pushed it.

I just pushed it aside
as hard as I could.

Like, I didn't--
I didn't think about home.

I didn't think about my wife
or my soon-to-be little boy.

There's something about it,

being out here alone
for so long.

It's like, I just can't--
I can't stop

thinking about them,
because I knew,

the second--the second
I thought about those guys,

it would just tear me up
and my days here

would just be numbered.

[sobbing]

[dramatic music]

¶ ¶

[scraping]

(Alan)
A lot of rain here.

This is a severely rainy
environment.

I find it disagreeable.

[rocks scraping]

So I'm sitting here
rubbing two rocks together,

working on my
sharpening stone some.

As far as the tides go,
I've pretty much settled

into a two-meal-a-day thing,

because there isn't
a lunchtime tide.

There's just a breakfast
and supper tide, that's all.

I've eaten about twice a day,
I guess.

And what's funny is,
I feel satisfied

on the smaller portions.

This is
how hunter-gatherers ate.

You know,
they ate what they needed.

They didn't do anything
that they didn't have to.

They conserved their energy,
and they lived smart, you know?

There's no point in burning
energy that you don't have to.

In modern society,
we would look on that

as laziness,
but I look on it as efficient.

Efficiency.

[rocks scraping]

[singing operatically]

[rocks scraping]

¶ ¶

(Mitch)
So I'm out here scouting,
and I'm following

this game trail
that's near my camp.

One thing I see
on this game trail

is some bear scat.

Looks like this bear has been
eating a lot of berries.

[branches rustling]

¶ ¶

We follow this...

and see
a big burrow right there,

or a den.

That might be the--
the bear's home right there.

I'm not sure,
but I don't plan on checking.

[chuckles]

¶ ¶

(Lucas)
Well, I'm about to put
the canoe in the water,

and I feel like this is a--
this might be it for me.

Today is a big day.

It's a cold day too,
so while it's a big day,

to see if this actually floats,
I've got to be prepared

for the fact that it doesn't.

I might even go in the drink.

And if I get wet
and it's 40 degrees out--

it's plenty cold--

I've got to be prepared
for that,

so I have a few extra pieces
of firewood gathered.

I normally would get
my firewood at night,

but I've got some going now.

I've got a good fire going.

My sleeping bag's ready.

I've got dry clothes set up.

I've got my paddle carved.

Pretty much, it's just hauling
the boat down--down the way.

This is--this is big, guys.

¶ ¶

Whoa.
[chuckles]

[grunts]

Okay...

[breathing heavily]

If I get this moving,
I can do fishing from the boat,

I can start getting
bottom feeders,

and I have access to beaches,
and also,

I can see that there's
tributaries across the way.

There's rivers, so there's
got to be salmon at the base.

So I open up the door
for my resources

to go from shore fishing
and gathering mussels

to opening up and being able
to go so much further

and even potentially
moving my camp.

But first things first--
I got to see

if this floats,
so this is huge.

¶ ¶

[tarp rustling]

In the future,
I want to put more--

I want this to be sewed on,
and...

have a bunch
of security at the ends.

Right now, it doesn't,
but that's about

as good as it's gonna get.

And if she doesn't float
right now, then, well...

I'm just going big.

It's probably my nature
to a fault

to want to do things
to the next level.

It's possible that this
is actually what takes me out

or what shoots me
through the roof.

¶ ¶

[dramatic music]

¶ ¶

[breathing heavily]

(Lucas)
Today is a big day.

I'm about to put
the canoe in the water.

If I get this moving,
I open up the door

for my resources
to go from shore fishing

and gathering mussels

to being able
to go so much further

and even potentially
moving my camp.

So this is huge.
This is huge, huge.

It's a cold day too,
so I've got to be prepared

for the fact that if I get wet
and it's 40 degrees out,

it might be it for me.

And if she doesn't float
right now, then, well...

what do I say?

¶ ¶

I'm just going big.

It's probably my nature
to a fault

to want to do things
to the next level.

It's possible that this
is actually what takes me out

or what shoots me
through the roof.

It's just kind of
one of those situations.

¶ ¶

[tarp rustling]

Oh, my God.

It works.

[laughs]

Oh, my God,
I can't believe it.

Ugh, all these branches
in my face.

[sighs]

[laughs]

Oh, my God.

[laughs]

I've got a boat, man.

Is it leaking?

I don't see it.

This is amazing.

I'm out here
in the middle of the water.

It's dangerous and hypothermic

and stupid if I fail,

but it's working.

And now it just needs
a little modifications.

It tracks pretty hard
to one side.

Oh, my God,
this is so scary.

I can't believe it.

This is freedom,
this ability to explore.

[laughs]

¶ ¶

Whoo!

Yeah!

[laughs]

I got a boat.

Oh, my gosh.

It don't--it don't...
always go straight,

but it works.

¶ ¶

I did it.

I made a boat.

[laughs]

¶ ¶

(Alan)
I'm gonna make a cooking camp.

I don't want it really close
to my sleeping camp.

Don't want
any unwanted guests.

(Lucas)
Oh, my gosh,
I'm catching the current.

Huge, tremendous whirlpools.

How am I gonna get home?

I can't make these currents.
It's just too much.

(Mitch)
My gear is growing mold.

It's been wet for so long.

That's bad news.

See the mold?
It's not good.

It's the hardest on you
psychologically and physically.

It's just relentless.

Days like this make you want
to hit the old button.

(Mitch)
Cold, wet.

Who wants to sleep
in that environment?

(Lucas)
I just feel raw out here.
I feel really raw.

¶ ¶