Almost Paradise (2020–…): Season 2, Episode 5 - Deus Ex-Wife Machina - full transcript

It's happening again!

Warden called us about the cable.

Mm-hmm.

Service area is over there.

Thank you.

I got 50,000 hits off the last one.

I got 72,000.

What's our first piece of business, boss?

Find a contractor in Mactan...

and bring me Alex Walker.

My name is Alex Walker.
I'm ex-DEA.



One of my first assignments
took me to an isolated beach

right here on this island.

I sold what little I had
and bought myself a gift shop.

Just peace, no stress, no drama.

Boy, was I wrong.

Wow.

All right, huh?

Thank you.

You are welcome.

Now, listen, I am a terrible cook,

but I can make
a mean breakfast sandwich.

Well, it looks... good.

Listen, there's a special
ingredient in there,

but I can't tell you what it is until
we get to know each other better.



-Ooh.
-Yeah.

Mmm.

-Wow, it's good.
-Good, good.

Thanks for coming over early, too.

I got a lot of stuff planned
for our day today, our date day.

I'm gonna honest with you.

This online dating thing is just,
it's been a disaster for me.

Until right now.

I saw your profile.

I couldn't believe it.
Y-You like scuba diving.

You like the Kansas City Chiefs.

You like kickboxing.
You know what I mean?

I was like, "What are the odds?
What are the odds?"

I'm talking too much.
I'm talking too much.

-I'm nervous.
-No, it's fine.

I feel the same way.

It's terrible out there, but it's nice
to finally meet someone who's--

Who's amazingly interesting?

-Smart?

-Good at Wordle?
-Honest.

I have been hurt too many times
by dishonest men.

In my last job,
it forced me to be dishonest a lot,

and it didn't work very well for me.

So that's why I came here,
you know, to be open,

to be... well, to be
an honest human being.

Claire?

Hello, Alex.

Claire.

Uh, and who are you?

Oh.

I'm Claire.

I'm Alex's wife.

-Oh.
-No, no, no.

I should have known.

Not wife. It's ex-wife, all right?

I mean, technically, yes,
we're still married, but--

What are you doing here?

What is this, Smack Alex Walker Day?!

You got our daughter kidnapped
by a psychopathic killer?!

I also got her out of it.
You always leave out the good parts!

You don't get points for that!

Well, you didn't come
8,000 miles to slap me,

so what are you here for?

I've been trying to contact you
for the last three months.

The time has come.
We finally have to do it.

Our divorce papers.

You never signed them.

I'm heading to Sri Lanka
to see Evelyn.

She's been stationed in Colombo.

I-I know where our daughter is.

So I thought I'd get you
to sign in person...

and see how you're doing.

I'm doing fine.

What's this?

The trust deed to the ranch.

No, no, no. The ranch?

Alex, you know that selling the property
was always part of the agreement.

Looks like our past
has come back to haunt us.

Jace Vargas escaped
from prison two hours ago.

The Waterboarder?
The guy who likes to drown his enemies?

-Yes.
-Alex is gonna freak.

He went through hell with us
trying to take that guy down.

Didn't he try to waterboard Alex?

Well, the call I just got from Cebu
won't make him feel any better.

Apparently, they questioned
Vargas' cellmate.

Since he's been there,
he's been very obsessed

with getting revenge on Walker.

He's going after him.

Now, until Vargas is back in custody,

I'm trusting that the two of you
will keep Walker safe, okay?

Alex should go to ground until it's safe.

He should, but he won't.

He's gonna wanna get involved.

Yep.

He's gonna get all crazy
and obsessive.

Definitely.

He's gonna ignore
our entire operation

and go after the guy himself.

No question.

Did you forget how to spell
your name?

Claire? You don't sign something
like this without reading it, okay?

That's how you end up
with an extended warranty

that doesn't cover explosions.

Just sign it, Alex.

This moment means nothing to you?

No sentiment?
Not even a little nostalgia?

We haven't seen each other
in four years.

Well, that's--

Why rush it?

Claire, I've, uh,
got the car sorted.

Alex...

meet Bob Rafferty.

Hi, Bob.

Hope this isn't, um, "awkward."

Ah, there's no need for air quotes, Bob.
It's awkward.

I was just telling Alex
that we decided

to spend a few days
at the Paradise...

before heading off to introduce you

to Evelyn in Sri Lanka,

where we're getting married.

Wow!

So soon!

Which is why--

Listen, you know, you-you guys
are staying here for a couple of days.

I'm practically your host.

Because you run the gift shop?

Yeah. I'm gonna take you guys
to lunch, okay?

I don't want you to worry.
It's on me, all right?

Just throw in one of your
meal vouchers if you can.

I guess there's no harm.

You have no idea.

Huh. First name. You get the last name
after lunch, all right?

You guys, go get checked in.

I'll meet you in the restaurant
just right off the lobby.

Okay.

I'm starved.

I know what you're doing.

At this rate, it's going
to take forever to get to Alex.

- Ah, this traffic!

You know, Vargas has probably
got his people mobilized,

and they mean serious business.

We gotta tell Alex everything.
We gotta warn him.

I'm gonna call him right now.

This is Alex Walker.
Leave a message.

Voicemail.

This is it, Mikey.
We got this big time. This is it.

You know, I tried to get a job
singing in the lounge here once.

I got so nervous,
I forgot all the lyrics.

Now that we're working
for Jace Vargas,

you don't have to be
a performing monkey anymore.

If you pull this through,
before you know it,

I'll be his right-hand man
and you will be my right-hand man.

It's a good thing your uncle
got shingles and kicked this job to us.

Hey, it's not luck.
It's that thing you're always saying.

Ah. "In every life,
there is a moment."

That's right.

And this is mine.

Jace Vargas' right-hand man.

Oh, yeah.

Let's go.

I know it's in there.

Yes, we have you in here
as Mrs. Alex Walker.

Ugh.

That is just the sexist way

the credit card company
still lists my account.

Here's your e-key card, Mrs. Alex Walker.

That's our target.

Alex Walker.

Mrs. Alex Walker?

If you'll follow me to your room.

Let's go.

So, Bob, what is it that you do?

Oh, uh, I'm in risk management.

Bob is with one
of the largest insurance companies

in the world.

That's amazing. Wow.

Well, you must travel
to some exciting places.

No, no, no.

I'm, uh, more of a numbers guy, yeah.

Try to keep the company
from doing anything too extreme.

You'd be surprised at what
some of these crazy agents get into.

Insurance agents?

Oh, boy, oh, boy. Yeah.
Yeah, they're a breed.

Well, you went completely
in the opposite direction, didn't you?

You see, the thing is,
Bob isn't afraid to be cautious.

That's like saying someone's
not afraid to be scared.

No offense, Bob.

Says the man
who's basically only afraid of one thing:

moving on in his life.

I have so moved on.

Then why won't you let me move on?

Sign the papers.

Well, I feel like there are
some issues that are in play here

that I could really use your input on.

Why, don't you--

Why don't you, uh,
give us a second, honey?

Yeah. Yeah.

I-I did want to look into the turtle tour,

you know, to make sure
the boat is fully bonded.

I'm gonna go now.

Wow.

Why are you doing this?

You so don't wanna be married to me.

There.

-We're divorced.
-What's the catch?

The ranch.

Ah. Hi.

Can I help you?

Uh, yeah.

Uh, this, um, turtle spotting tour,

I'm assuming that the boat
and the operator carry full coverage?

-Coverage?
-Mm-hmm. Insurance?

-I believe so, sir.
-Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

And, um, when was the last time
there was a safety inspection?

-I'll go check.
-Okay, thanks.

Don't talk.

I have a gun in your back.
Come with us.

Is this a kidnapping?

-Shut up!
-Oh, okay, okay.

Okay. I'm cooperating fully.

And you should know
that my company carries

excellent K, R, and E coverage.

What's he talking about?

That's, uh, kidnap, ransom,
and extortion insurance,

-so there is no need for violence.
- Shut up!

We have to sell it.

I know you don't have the money
to buy my share from me.

All right, but my grandpa
grew up on that ranch.

Ugh! You're being sentimental.

You live halfway around the world.

You just don't wanna grow up.

-Like Bob?
-Like Bob.

Bob is one of the most
empathetic people I've ever met.

He cares about people.

I don't care about people?

Oh, you only care
that people see you as a hero.

Bob, Bob just cares.

Thank you for this.

Ah. My pulse is racing again.

That hasn't happened in a while.

See what you did?

Yeah, the heart attack is mutual.

Sit down
and let's just finish this.

Alex?

Alex?

Alex!

Hey, where you going?

Alex!

Alex, what is happening?

Bob's been kidnapped.

What?!

Do something!
Go after them!

I know. Where's the car?
Where's your car?

There!

-That's your car?
-Yes!

Give me the keys!

No, the insurance only covers me.

Bob sure rubbed off on you,
hasn't he?

Oh, my God!
What's wrong with you?!

Is that Alex and some woman?

Go. Go.

What is he doing?

I don't know. Maybe--
Maybe he's on a date.

It's like they're tailing someone.

No, no, no.
Don't get too close to 'em.

They're gonna know
you're following 'em.

Don't lose 'em!

Stop backseat driving.

I took that stupid performance
driving class just like you did.

Great honeymoon.

All right, but you don't know
how to tail somebody!

That's because I'm a normal person!

All right, all right, all right.
They're turning. They're turning.

Stop narrating.

Bob is in there,
and they could kill him.

All right, they're not gonna kill Bob.

All right, this is a business here.
I've dealt with these people before.

Where the hell did they go?

You gotta be kidding me!

Alex!

Alex, what the hell is going on?

We have a huge problem.

-No, we have a huge problem.
-They have Bob.

Who's Bob?

So Jace Vargas broke out of prison.

The Waterboarder?

We were coming to tell you.

Yeah? You can't make a call?
You guys don't have a phone?

We did. Several times.

Oh...

It's too hot for Vargas and his crew
to operate in Mactan.

He knew they'd be recognized.

The entire Mactan Department
worked on his bust.

He probably hired outsiders.

They must have thought
Bob was you.

That's ridiculous.
Nobody's gonna confuse me with Bob--

Did you make a reservation
under Walker?

It's still my name, thanks to you.

Who is this Waterboarder?

Again, he's somebody that
I helped lock up, and he hates me.

And if he thinks Bob is me...

He's gonna kill Bob?

We already contacted
the American Embassy.

He doesn't need a passport.
He needs to be rescued.

Okay, look,
he's not gonna harm Bob.

His beef is with me.

I don't care.

I just want Bob back.

Nothing will happen to him
as long as we keep them

from getting off the island
to wherever Vargas is hiding.

We just, uh, put checkpoints
on the bridges and ports.

Yeah. Do we even know
who these guys are?

Thanks to Alex's insistence,
the hotel installed audio

to their exterior security cameras.

We can lay low at Chito's.

Who the hell's Chito?

No idea.
I'll pour over anyone connected to Vargas.

But in the meantime,
the safest place for the both of you

is at the Paradise.

And Alex,
please don't try anything.

We're gonna be at the hotel.
Just let us know if you learn anything.

Please, just stay there, okay?

Security detail will be there
just in case they come back to get you.

We can't just sit at the hotel.

They said to let them handle it.

And you trust them?

These guys are like family.

You see, this is your problem.

Your work family tells you
to do something and you do it,

but then when your actual family--

Well, you're not--You're not
actually family anymore, are you?

Still married.

And the guy I married
wouldn't give up like that.

What makes you think
I'm giving up?

We're not going back to the hotel?

Do you have any idea where we're going?

All the bridges and ports
are gonna be monitored.

They're gonna have to find
another way off this island.

They can't take a large watercraft
because it's just too visible,

so they're gonna be looking
for small marinas, fishing villages.

You see, Claire, it's like playing
a three-dimensional game of chess.

You gotta think like a criminal.

You gotta look for some kind
of disturbance in the everyday fabric.

Yeah, or we can just go
to Tampalasan's.

Yeah. Wait, what?

They said they
were gonna lay low at Chito's.

Oh, while you were busy mansplaining,
I was actually being observant.

I wasn't mansplaining,
I was cops-plaining,

and there is a big difference, okay?

And then you...

you got...

lucky.

Where's the beer?

Right here, boss.

-Cheers.
-Cheers.

-Ah.
-Mmm.

I'm not trying to cause trouble,
but, uh, are you aware of the fact

that members of organized crime
are 40 times more likely

to die violently
than the average citizen?

How do you know that?

Oh, uh, it's my job.

Literally.

-Yeah, I calculate risk for a living.

And this is my job.

Stop talking!

- Mikey, you're up!

Yes!

Wait, wait, Mikey!

Where do you think you're going, huh?

Uh, Chito said that if I did well,

I could have a spot
on Saturday night.

Wait, we have a job to do,
and it's not singing!

"In every life,
there is a moment."

Maybe this one is mine.

Not a word.

Yeah.

All right, give me your phone.
Give me your phone.

-Give me the phone, Claire.
-All right, here. My God.

Kai, it's me.

We found the car. It's at a place
called Talapasan's--

-Tampalasan's.
-Temple Asan's.

Tampalasan's.

-They're at Tampalasan's.

You couldn't do what you were told?

Told by whom?

We're on our way. Wait for us.

That place is dangerous.

Really? 'Cause I'm hearing singing.

Listen to me.

That is a hangout to some of the island's
most dangerous criminals.

Do not go in.

All right. I promise I won't go in.

All right, I'm going in.

Listen, you stay here
and you wait.

Backup is on the way.

You literally just told them
you weren't going in.

I said you weren't going in,
so don't go in.

Alex!

Ugh!

Mikey.

I'm going in.

He's not in here.

No, no, no.

You can't be in here.
You can't be in here.

-Claire, you gotta go back.

They've got Bob
in that storage room over them.

Yeah, right.

Mikey.

You...

You were very good out there.

You have an excellent voice.

What do you know about singing?

My father was a choir director,
so I know about singing.

You could be a professional.

Everyone in the Philippines
can sing.

If you don't have the money
for a band, arrangements, costumes,

you're nobody.

So you kidnap
to be a somebody?

You would not understand.

I understand
that everybody wants to matter.

You probably matter to lots of people.

You're sure important to Mr. Vargas.

I wish I was as important to him
as you are.

I get it.

We all wanna be
the most important person in...

in somebody's life.

You gotta go back to the car, okay?

-I'm not going back to the car!
-Listen, wait for the cops.

I will take care of this.

-Alex Walker!
-What?

-Is that you?
-Huh?

Yeah.
Yeah, it is you.

You're the one who helped the police
put my cousin Tito in jail.

No, you got the wrong guy.

No, it's you. It's you.
I don't forget a face, especially a kano.

Well, we all look alike,
don't we?

Hey, Chito, what do we do
with rats at this bar?

Move!

Oh, God.

They're getting away!

You know what, guys?
I'm gonna--I tell you what.

I'm gonna grab my friend.
We'll just go right out the way we came.

We're gonna leave.
No problems, no problems at all.

You're not going anywhere.

Break it up! Break it up now!

We gotta go now!

Ernesto.

We're gonna get him back, Claire.

I promise.

Bob!

I've been waiting for this
a long time, Alex Walker.

Who's this?

Alex Walker, boss.

I found him at the hotel
where you said he'd be.

This isn't Alex Walker, you idiot!

Excuse me. I'm sorry to interrupt,
but am I not randomly being kidnapped?

Am I missing something here?

Oh! Boss! Boss!
It wasn't my fault, boss!

It wasn't my fault, boss!

What about him? In the tank,
or you want him waterboarded first?

Waterboarded.

I don't get a lot of pleasure
from drowning young men,

but I get enough.

Wait! This was all Amado's fault!

I-- I tried to tell him
this is not Alex Walker, but he insisted.

You think I'm stupid?!

-No!
- No, it's true! It's true.

I heard all of it.

Mikey kept saying I wasn't Alex.
It was all Amado.

Yes! See?

You knew you were the wrong guy
the whole time

and you didn't say anything?

He thought I was lying to save myself.
He swore he'd kill me, too!

Bring 'em.
I'm gonna kill 'em both.

No! No, Mr. Vargas! Wait!

We can use this guy to get Walker.

I have an idea.

You were told to stay in the car!

In my defense,
we all knew that I wouldn't.

That is a horrible defense!

Patrols have searched Cebu
and Mactan shorelines.

There's no sign of him.

-It's Bob.
-Put it on speaker.

Hello?

Hey, honey. Uh, it's me.

Bob, Bob, are you okay?
Where are you?

Put Walker on.

I'm already on the phone, Vargas.

Just you.

What?

Okay.

Where?

No, that's a nonnegotiable.

Because I don't want her involved,
that's why.

Vargas, you touch
one more hair on Bob's head

and I promise you,
you will pay.

Fine.

Agreed.

So?

I'm gonna trade myself for Bob.

No. You can't.

We've done this kind of thing
before with Alex.

He knows what he's doing.

-No, I-I cannot just stay here and wait--
-You gotta drive me.

-What?
-What?

Vargas wants Claire
to drop me at an exchange point.

Once they have me,
they release Bob.

No cops or they kill him.

You're going to your own execution
and you want a ride?

That's what Vargas wants.
That's not what we're going to do.

How much time do we have?

Two hours.

I'm on it.

Chief.

We're gonna find him.

Are you sure you're gonna
be able to do this?

It'll work.

Bob's gonna be okay.

I'm gonna be okay.

We're heading on
the Cansaga Bay Bridge now.

-Team one in place.

Team two in position.

When you've got Bob, I want you
to get out of here as fast as you can.

Head back to the police station
and wait there.

Did you just child-lock me?

Why are you doing this?

You don't even know Bob.

Well, I'm not doing it for Bob.

Agent Walker!

Good to finally see you again.

It's ex-Agent Walker.

Why is everybody forgetting
the exes today?

Just slowly walk towards the van.

Let Bob go.

You first!

All right, same time.

Same time, man.

When you get to the car,
make Claire get out of here fast.

"Make Claire"?
Have you actually met her?

Bob? Bob!

-We gotta go.
-Yes.

I was waiting for this for a long time.

We can't just leave him.

He knows what he's doing.
We gotta go. Please.

Yeah. Yeah.

There's a radio under the seat.

Grab it.

The package has been delivered. Go!

Let's roll!

Let's move! Let's move!

What's going on?
Do you have Alex?

-I think we're out of range.

-No, we should go back.
-There's nothing we can do.

-Whoa!

Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!

It's okay. It's okay.
It's okay. It's okay.

Okay! Oh, my God! Oh, man!

Get your hands off of her!

-Bob!
- Claire!

Claire! Claire!

Keep your hands in the air
and step out of the vehicle.

Where are they?

Hey! Bring him over here.
The driver.

Hey, where are they?

-Where's Vargas?

And where did they
take Alex Walker?

Hey, hey. Kai, Kai.
Keep cool. Keep cool.

That's not gonna help.
Get him out of here!

Okay, they can't be far.

Let's split up and search
every possible route from here.

You see anything,
radio the rest of us.

Ernesto, riding with me.

Let's hear it.

Hear what?

How you think you're gonna talk
your way out of this.

That's why you took the switch, right?

You think that you're gonna
somehow spin a story,

manipulate me into not killing you.

Isn't that right?

I don't think so.

If you were gonna just kill me,
you would've done it on the bridge.

I think you have something planned.

Maybe...
try waterboarding me again?

I got something better in mind for you.

There's a hundred places
these guys could be hiding.

But Vargas wouldn't just go anywhere.

Get inside his head.
You're good at that. Think like him, Kai.

Like a psychotic, egomaniacal murderer?

Who likes to drown
and waterboard his victims.

-Water World.
-Water World.

Hang on!

Every night in prison,
men screaming,

rotten stench,

the heat, the rats...

Well, I'd sleep like a baby,

dreaming about what
I was gonna do to you when I got out.

Glad I could help.

Ah, our esteemed guests have arrived.

-Alex!
-Claire!

No, Alex.
No talking for you.

-No conning. No stories. No lies.

Why are you doing this to us?

I want Alex to watch you die.

I want him to drown
in his own sorrow

and guilt.

I'm gonna go for a walk.
Stay here, okay?

All units, heads up.
We've found Vargas.

I repeat, we've found Vargas.
The 20 is Water World Park.

That's Water World Park.

Get here now.

Do we wait for them to get here?

Uh-uh.

Come on.

All this time I've been fantasizing
about this day,

and never in my wildest dreams
did I think I could have the chance

to make you watch your own wife die.

Oh, it's delicious.

Leave her alone!
You can take my life instead!

I plan on it.

I think someone's outside. I can't--

Say again.

False alarm.

Everything clear. All good.

Come with me.

Bring Walker.
Mikey, watch them.

The rest of you, spread out
and see what you can find.

Mikey. Mikey, listen to me, please.

Please!

What?

Let us go.
There's no one forcing you anymore.

Free us and we can all leave together,

and we will vouch for you
with the authorities.

Shut up!

You know ultimately
that Vargas will turn on you.

Look what he did to Amado.

You don't know Mr. Vargas.

But I know you, Mikey.
You have a talent and a dream.

You said, "In every life,
there's a moment."

Well, this is yours.

To do the right thing.

For yourself and others.

Tell the rest of the men
to meet us back inside.

Let's grab the others as hostages
and get out of here.

Where the hell's the couple?

Mikey? Mikey!

You can quit now, Vargas.

You lost your advantage.

-I still have you.

Vargas, you ever heard
of the Dunning Kruger Effect?

It's when really stupid people
think they're smart.

Shut up, Walker.

You have a choice here, Vargas.

You can know you're an idiot
and do the smart thing. Hmm?

Or you can continue
to make bad decisions.

I'm smart enough to know
you're wearing a bulletproof vest.

And I'm smart enough to know
it doesn't cover your head.

Drop your weapon!

Hey!

-Hey!

That only holds seven rounds,
doesn't it?

You forget I can reload the clip.

Yeah, and you forgot to watch
where you were driving.

Don't try it.

Are you okay, Mr. Rafferty?
Mrs. Walker?

Yeah, we'll be all right.

Ah, this is the man I was told about.

We wouldn't be alive
if it weren't for him.

You'll have to answer
for your role in this, hmm?

But we'll see how we can
get you a reduced sentence

or preferential treatment.

Meanwhile, I suggest you make
good use of your time in there, okay?

You gotta admit, it's not that bad.

-Yeah.
-Good moves.

-Good moves.
-Yeah.

Okay. Okay.

A toast.

To putting Vargas behind bars...

-Yeah.
-...for good this time.

-Mm-hmm. Hear, hear.
-Cheers.

Cheers.

I actually have another toast.

To Bob,

who is 83% more heroic
than he ever thought he was.

- Thanks.
-Cheers.

Cheers.

Ah, thanks.

- Glad you're all safe.
-Mm-hmm.

Of course.

-Yeah, I just wanna...
-Yeah.

-Excuse me.
-Yeah.

Here.

What's this?

I signed the trust deed
back over to you.

You keep the ranch.

Really?

Sometimes, you gotta do
what's best for yourself...

and others.

Bob and I will be fine.

And I know
it's a really, really big ask...

but take care of yourself, Alex.

You, too.

Hey. What's that?

This...

It's just a decision.