Almost Paradise (2020–…): Season 1, Episode 4 - Pistol Whip - full transcript
Hey, guys! So today
on "Jessa's Ocean Diary,"
we're here
at the Olango Channel.
And I'm naming today's vlog
"The Green Sea Turtle Adventure"
because I just ran
into this guy right here.
Only one percent of these guys
ever make it to adulthood.
I mean, this guy
is fully grown.
Judging by his size,
he could be 100 years old.
Mr. Turtle, you're welcome
to join us on our dive today,
but if you prefer
to stay here on the beach
and hang out in the sun,
I'm sure we'd all understand.
Wish me luck.
My name is Alex Walker.
I'm ex-DEA.
I quit the agency because my
friend and partner betrayed me.
One of my first assignments
took me to an isolated beach
right here on this island.
I sold what little I had
and bought myself
a gift shop.
Just peace.
No stress, no drama.
Boy, was I wrong.
*ALMOST PARADISE*
Season 01 Episode 04
Episode Title: "Pistol Whip"
Aired on: April 20, 2020
The third number is...
- Nineteen.
- Nineteen! That's...
three out of five, man.
That's like hot showers
forever.
On a yacht.
For the fourth number,
we have...
Twenty-one.
Fifth and last number
is coming up.
All right. Five,
five. We already got three out of five.
Four out of five, man.
No more ice showers
like a frickin' penguin.
- Eleven, eleven, eleven.
- The last number is...
One-one. Eleven, eleven.
Eleven, eleven, eleven.
Two.
If you've won something,
simply sign your ticket,
then turn it in.
I swear they do that
on purpose.
And from Washington,
for the fifth week in a row,
Congress has failed to end
the government shutdown.
Pension and disability payments
continue to be delayed.
Damn it!
I'm breathing in.
I am one with my breath.
I'm breathing out.
I am one with my breath.
Breathing in.
I am one with my breath.
Breathing out.
I am one with my breath.
Breathing in.
I am grateful.
Breathing out.
Money isn't everything.
And who says that?
Man, have you ever
heard of knocking?
This is store.
You should put
small bell over door.
Actu... listen, I know that
I'm late on my utilities, okay?
If you could just pay
for a couple more weeks.
Alex, you have
big check from government.
Plus you have this store.
Why you always broke, huh?
Where your money?
You have gambling problem?
- I don't have any.
- Or girls? Or drugs?
What happened
to your welfare check?
First of all,
it's not a welfare check.
Well, I'm not welfare
officer either.
This is not charity.
You pay your bills
or I will tow this building
off property,
you understand?
Tow the... listen, the U.S.
government is shut down, man.
- I just need like a few...
- You have till Wednesday.
- It's the U.S. Congress, Cory!
- Aah!
It doesn't work like that.
- You're not allowed back here.
- No, listen, listen.
My wife's been missing
for three days.
I know something
terrible has happened.
Please, sir! Sir, please.
My wife's missing.
She... her name's Jessa Torres.
Okay, let's go. You filed a
missing person's report. Let's go.
Sirs, we need your help, sirs.
She's a great person.
- I said let's go.
- Can't save everyone, Kai.
- Hey!
- Kai.
I'll take it
from here, officer.
Is that the case jacket?
I haven't heard
from my wife in three days.
That's never happened in the
10 years that we were together.
I know we're
not important people,
but if a rich man's wife
or tourist's wife disappeared,
things would have been
different, I'm sure.
No, we care about everyone
on this island.
Okay? Everyone.
Let me look into it
and get back to you.
Thank you.
God bless you.
Got a minute, sir?
Not now, Mendoza.
I have somewhere I need to be.
The man who was shouting
in the bullpen?
You know how many
missing person cases
we receive every week?
Over 20.
I was just looking at this.
The neighbors said
the two were arguing
the night before
the wife disappeared.
That's not in the jacket.
You don't think we follow up
on these things?
Well, why is he
not a suspect?
Because they also saw
her leave the next morning.
She's not missing.
She's just mad.
Mendoza, don't make
something out of nothing.
Hi! Hey!
Okay. Here you go.
For you.
Thank you. Thank you.
- Thank you!
- Yes! Thank you!
- Thank you. Bye!
- Thank you for coming!
Nikolai, you tell them to be
careful with the lights.
Aah! Jerry's here!
Ike Ocampo,
Mactan Chief of Police.
Well, always grateful
to meet the men
on the front line
of safety and security.
It's an honor, sir.
Jerry Westwood
at your service.
Oh, please, Mr. Westwood.
No need to introduce yourself.
We're big fans
on this island.
Your show's been airing
since I was in college.
Well, that's who I do it for.
For the fans.
Have you met our director
Andre Adam?
- Andre Adam.
- Ike Ocampo.
We appreciate the help
your office has given us.
Always a challenge
shooting in a new country.
I wanted to personally
bring you this filming permit.
- Ah.
- We wanted to help make your shoot here
as pleasant as possible.
Oh, thank you.
That's very thoughtful.
We're going to do great
things here. Great things.
So, when I heard that you were
doing this documentary TV series...
"Wreckage Of War."
It will be fantastic.
When we're done, no one will
forget the name of Andre Adam.
"Wreckage Of War," huh? Well,
that's a very brilliant idea.
You know, there are more
World War II shipwrecks
in this area
than anywhere in the world.
You may not know
that my grandfather
was in the Cebu resistance
during the Japanese occupation.
- Oh.
- Incredible.
And I'd be glad to talk
and recount his stories
on camera.
Do you hear that, Jerry?
What luck.
Man, that's great.
Maybe we could sit down.
I could pick your brain
for a bit.
Now, my career has always been
about detailed preparation.
Truly knowing every aspect
is what has defined my career.
You know, actors these days,
they just care
about Twitter followers,
I'm afraid.
The craft?
It's a dying art.
I would love
to do that anytime.
So, who should I speak to?
Nikolai is our producer.
He can take your information.
Nikolai, please.
- Oh, okay.
- Come.
Uh, okay. Ike Ocampo.
You know, my grandfather
was part of the Cebu resistance...
Hey.
You know anybody who wants
to buy a very nice watch?
No?
Hey. Double whiskey, neat,
and make it stiff.
Hey, man.
You're that... you're that guy.
The guy from the show!
Uh, well, I've been
in lots of shows,
but I wager you're referring
to my 1990s hit "Pistol Whip"?
"Pistol Whip"!
That's the one, man.
I got... we used to watch that
show all the time. I loved that show.
Yeah, it's a classic.
Oh, seriously, man.
It was great.
You... you had that...
That beautiful pistol
with the pearl handle.
The snub nose revolver, man.
And I always wanted
one of those.
And you had the move,
your signature move, where you used to...
Well, thanks, compadre.
Call me Jerry.
Alex. Alex Walker.
Yeah.
If you want to do it right,
the trick is you pick a spot two
feet behind your actual target
and you follow through like you're
holding a tennis racket backhanded.
You know.
- Hey, why shoot a pistol...
- When you can whip it?
- Come on, man.
- Chuck Norris taught me that.
- Shut up.
- Spent the summer going from dojo to dojo
picking up the best
moves I could find.
The producers wanted to
call the show "Pistol Cop."
Can you believe that?
- I set 'em straight.
- Man.
What are you doing
on the island?
Making a documentary show
about World War II
naval battles.
We're shooting
the undersea wrecks.
- How's that going?
- Just got into town.
Hey. You're that guy.
You're that actor, right?
I am an actor.
You're supposed to be
a tough guy.
From that show
in the '90s, right?
He's not so tough
in real life, is he?
Listen, guys, we're just
trying to have a quiet drink.
We're not talking to you.
We're talking to the tough guy.
Boys, how can I help you?
Do you want a picture?
Autograph?
Ah, no one wants
your damn autograph.
Okay, then, well,
you boys have a good night.
He's... he's dismissing us.
Hey, you think
you're better than us.
No, no, that's not
what I mean at all.
Why don't we find out
how tough you really are?
Listen, guys.
I'm gonna give you
and your big drunk
ugly friend here
one chance just
to walk away.
- Oh, you are, are you?
- Yes, that's right.
But first, you gotta pick
which hand the walnut is in.
- Yeah, right.
- No, wrong.
Sorry about that.
That was fantastic.
You can really
handle yourself.
Well...
Hey, you ever do
any stunt work?
No, no.
Um, you have job
for stunt man?
Cory.
Well,
they arrived here with this barebones crew.
No stand-in.
No stunt double.
Oh!
This man, huh?
Good stunt double.
Stunt double?
I don't even...
No, no.
He like the job.
How much you pay?
Well, I should be able
to scramble together,
I don't know,
like, $500 a day?
I don't even look like... you
know? He's taller than me.
Oh, it doesn't matter.
It's all underwater.
Masks, wet suits...
No one will know.
$600. We have a deal.
My producer Nikolai,
he's a tightwad,
but I like the cut of your jib,
Alex. I'll just insist.
- You make good businessman.
- Well, thank you, ma'am.
- Welcome aboard, compadre.
- Yeah!
Yeah.
I didn't think you'd come.
Please.
Do all detectives
start the day this early?
- I'm here on my own time.
- Thanks.
Before we go any further,
I wanted to ask you
about this fight.
I already told them,
it was an argument, not a fight.
What about?
Well, I don't want her
to keep scuba diving alone.
That's dangerous.
- So she dives.
- All the time.
She does this vlog
on social media.
She loves doing it,
but I always worry.
- You ever dive with her?
- Nah.
I don't even swim.
She was taught young, though.
Yeah? So was I.
This is her channel.
You'd be amazed
how many people follow it.
She was studying
to be a marine biologist.
Yeah, the ocean's her passion,
and this is her way
of sharing that with people.
She's just this kind of person
that draws in the world
and everyone around her.
Guys,
I found this huge piece of metal
while diving
in the Olango Channel.
What is this thing?
Oh, man, this is crazy.
Hey, everybody!
Here we are.
Yeah, I love you!
Here we are.
Just want to give a shout-out
to Deep Blue Dive Shop
for always hooking up
the equipment.
Thank you, Linda!
Best dive shop in Cebu.
I'll keep in touch.
Please find her.
She's my world.
Oh. Okay. Ah, yeah.
- Hey, guys. How are you?
- Feeling relaxed?
Hey, man, well, that's
actually not my specialty.
Ah, this'll be fun!
Come on,
we'll introduce you,
and then the two of us
can get to work.
All right.
Nikolai, this is Alex,
the man I told you about.
How you doing, man?
Good to see you.
Listen, are you guys a film
crew or basketball team?
The underwater stand-in
stunt double.
Yeah, well, listen, for $600 a day,
I'll press this man's pants for him.
Nikolai's got an iron boot,
but all good producers do.
Just don't get
on his bad side.
- All right.
- It's gonna be amazing.
- And how is my star feeling today?
- Like a bull stud.
I need to talk to you
about your, uh, makeup test.
Well, I usually use
a Comanche Sunset No. 27.
Yes, that's good. Good.
Thank you.
Listen, uh, Jerry
is driving us all nuts.
So many stories,
so much talking.
It's getting in the way.
So how about you, uh,
take him out to the resort,
take some of the equipment,
go scuba,
have mai tais, whatever.
Just stay out of our hair
till tomorrow, okay?
Your show.
Let's go.
How'd you get this job, anyway?
Through your agent?
My agent? Ha-ha.
That's a good one.
No, after I lost
the first round
of "Dancing With The Stars,"
he dropped me.
No, Nikolai
contacted me directly.
Crap money, but I
could use the exposure.
Out of sight,
out of mind, you know?
It's easy to forget
an old ham like me.
Don't say that, man.
You're a TV legend.
Yeah, you're too kind.
I don't know, I usually have
more time to prepare, you know?
This all just
feels so rushed.
What do you mean rushed?
It came together a week ago.
Andre said he was only
hired three days ago.
Can you believe that?
These eastern Europeans,
they're something different.
These are new models.
It's all digital gear.
When'd this come out?
Two, three years ago?
Fancy new regulators?
I don't know. Ten, I think.
Why, you still running the
old tanks for the hotel guests?
No, I'm just saying,
it's brand-new equipment.
These Romanians,
they may not know how to treat an actor,
but they sure have
some nice equipment.
You know, I've never seen
camera rigs like that before.
Warning, warning,
warning, warning, warning.
Input error, input error,
input error.
Error, error, error, error.
So, Jessa uses your equipment
for her own dives?
Yeah, for free.
I told her
it's because she plugs me
on her Pacific Vlogger channel,
but really
it's because I like her.
- And, Sam? He loves her.
- Sam?
I see. So do you know
how many tanks you have?
45.
Okay, because
I only count 44.
My gosh, you're right.
We're short one.
- And you took inventory?
- Only last week.
So, from then to now,
could someone have taken it
at night or borrowed it
without you knowing?
The only other person
who has a key is Jessa.
Okay.
Well, thank you so much
for your time.
Is she okay?
Should I be
worried about her?
Just call me
if you hear from her.
Yo.
- What are you doing here?
- What are you doing here?
I got a job.
I'm not up to speed
on all this equipment,
so I figured somebody here
could help me out.
I could show you
how to use it.
- Really?
- Yeah.
Just like that? I don't
have to talk you into it?
You're just gonna do it? Why?
Because I'm a really nice
person.
Seriously, why?
And this is a regulator.
You breathe in oxygen,
exhale carbon dioxide.
- Really, Kai?
- Sorry.
That thing on your wrist
is a console computer.
It'll keep all
your systems in sync
and will tell us
when it's time to turn back.
Turn back from where?
Well, we can either
mess around here in the bay
or we can take
a five-mile drift dive
out into the Olango Channel.
Huh.
All right.
Now I know why
you're helping me.
What?
What are you looking for
out there, huh?
Contraband?
Missing persons case?
A diver, probably?
Let me guess. She's a woman?
Young? Not too young?
- Somebody you see yourself in?
- I hate when you do that.
Ocampo probably thinks it's
a waste of time, doesn't he?
And I guess you need me
because you need a buddy.
I don't need a buddy.
I needed the equipment.
Unbelievable.
What the hell was that?
I don't know.
You're the one with the info.
I have no idea
who those guys were.
Did you get
a good look at 'em?
Not really.
Only thing I saw were...
- White wet suits? Yeah.
- White wet suits.
My missing person
was an underwater videographer
with a camera just like that.
This battery's dead.
This thing could be fried.
Would this work?
Why are you here so late?
And why are you here at all?
Somebody tried
to kill us tonight.
With a spear gun.
- Where?
- The Olango Channel.
Yep, that makes sense.
How does trying to kill us
make sense?
The abalone hunters
in the Olango
are notoriously territorial.
These guys weren't fishermen.
Then they were probably
treasure hunters.
Treasure hunters?
The Olango's cursed.
No two nights are the same.
The tides shift. New batches
of coral pop up out of nowhere.
Ships get beached
and wrecked all the time.
People say more gold's
gone down on the Olango
- than any place on Earth.
- Gold, huh?
Olango was
on the galleon trade route
between Acapulco and Manila.
The riches of the East traded
for the gold of the West.
I don't think Jessa Torres
was a treasure hunter.
Well, wherever there's gold,
there are people looking for it.
Treasure hunters,
criminals,
and wherever a person
dies in agony,
like on a shipwreck,
their soul lives on
as an evil spirit.
I didn't take you
for the superstitious type.
I'm not. It's bad luck
to be superstitious.
Got it.
You realize Ocampo would have you
ticketing parked cars for the next year
for violating one
of his direct orders.
He said not to make
something out of nothing.
This... this is not nothing.
Hey, guys! Okay, so today on
"Jessa's Ocean Diary,"
we're here
at the Olango Channel.
- Son of a gun.
- And I'm naming today's vlog
"The Green Sea Turtle..."
You're
asking me to close off
the entire five-mile
Olango Channel?
What do you propose I do?
Dredge it?
No, sir,
but it's a crime scene. We were shot at.
It's the last known location
of Jessa Torres.
- We need to investigate.
- You were foolishly diving at night,
investigating a case
you weren't even assigned to.
And it sounds like you
stumbled on abalone poachers.
As far as Jessa Torres is concerned,
it's not a crime scene.
You know the meaning
of habeas corpus?
- Yes, sir.
- Habeas... to have, corpus... the body.
If you find the body,
then you have the crime.
No,
we're not closing down that channel.
We have fishermen there,
we have tourism,
we have a film crew shooting
a very important documentary.
Is that why you...
Why what?
Why what?
Oh, man! About time.
What do you mean
it's about time?
I thought you said
it was a 7:00 call time.
Exactly, we're supposed
to be on set by 7:00.
Didn't you read
your call sheet?
What is... I don't even
know what that is.
It's essential to every shoot.
Tells you what you're filming,
when, and where.
And where exactly
are we shooting?
The Olango Channel.
Nothing like
working on the water!
Or in this case,
underwater.
I did eight weeks on "The
Perfect Storm" back in '99.
Yep. The part got cut,
but I learned a lot about sailoring.
Of course, that was in a tank...
Studio 60, Warner Bros.
Hail, maestros!
- We're here to make magic.
- You're late.
Yeah, that's actually my
fault and I apologize. I'm sorry.
We've got a full day today.
Let's go.
Don't worry about Nikolai.
He's a hard man
doing a hard job.
He's right, though.
Won't happen again.
Come, my boy.
Today, we make magic.
We make history.
You need something?
Nope, just doing
an equipment check, boss.
- It's been done.
- Yes. Okay.
Imagine being here
in this very spot
on that Sunday morning in 1941.
Japanese Zeroes came
over the horizon with the sun.
Why aren't we
shooting anything?
Welcome to showbiz.
It's hurry up
and wait forever.
Come on, you want
to run some more lines?
We're not really
running lines.
It's narration.
Well, you wanna
hear it again?
You bet, man.
Knock yourself out.
Let me ask you, though,
what... what are they doing?
Uh, Nikolai said they're
preparing the underwater set.
Who is?
Everybody's on deck.
Oh, they hired some local
divers to help out, you know?
Do the dirty work.
Okay, scene 101.
Right away, please, gentlemen.
The Japanese fighters
were the first airplanes
ever designed
to carry a jettisonable
external fuel tank.
They were fast, maneuverable,
and powerful.
And cut.
Fantastic, Jerry.
Fantastic.
Any notes?
I can do it again.
No notes.
We do the close-up.
Take your time.
Savor the moment.
Okay.
Keep some of the fins
down there?
Aw, look at this.
That's sturdy construction
right there.
Australian, huh?
Non-ferrous metal.
I like it.
We have all our permits,
officer. Right here.
Actually, sir,
the captain was wondering
if he could get a photo
with Mr. Westwood.
- He's a big fan.
- Yes.
Yes, of course.
Guys,
I found this huge piece of metal
while diving
in the Olango Channel.
What is this thing?
Hey, everybody.
Here we are!
You see that?
Hey, Ernesto, can you
take a look at this?
Cyrillic. Russian.
What's a Soviet
submarine propeller
doing in the Philippines?
And that's a wrap
for Jerry up top.
But I've still got a page
and a half of dialogue.
We are switching
to underwater shooting now.
Ion, take them down
and help them
get into their scuba gear.
What the hell
is going on here?
Andre, you're the director.
This is your set. Take over.
I hate to break this to you,
Jerry,
- but there is no TV show.
- Pardon?
These guys are
treasure hunters.
They're using
this TV show as a cover
- to bring up the loot.
- Loot?
Yeah, what is it?
Historical relics? Gold?
The point is,
they need the cover
because they know
it's illegal.
This was all a show
for the Coast Guard,
but now that they're gone,
they don't need us anymore.
Whatever gold is down there
is patrimony of the Philippines.
And whatever they were looking for,
they just found it, my man,
and they are bringing it up right here,
right now on that deck.
Hey, you listen to me,
compadre.
You're wrong. You have to
be wrong. I need this show.
- Jerry.
- Tell him, Andre.
Tell him we're doing a damn
show about World War II.
- There's no TV show?
- Jerry. Jerry, don't. No, don't, Jerry!
Move and you're dead.
Take them below deck now
before we get
any more visitors.
Yes, Captain.
Onward, comrades,
to fame, fortune, and history.
Say a word and I put
a bullet in the head.
Let's go.
Jerry.
Jerry, look.
You see that blue tape?
- Well, I guess this is it.
- Jerry.
I dedicated my life to acting,
to craft, to characters,
and what do I have
to show for it?
No, no, the blue tape.
The blue tape!
Four failed marriages,
three estranged kids,
and a TV show
no one remembers.
Do you know what
it was like to be admired?
People looked at me
like I was a real hero.
Now I'm the guy selling
adult diapers on late night TV.
Do you have any idea
who I used to think I was?
How did you
come up with that?
- I put it in there.
- You did? When?
When? Earlier. I knew
that we might be in trouble,
and so I thought
if they were gonna tie us up,
this is where they'd
bring us. Come on.
There is more to you than meets the eye,
Mr. Walker.
Well, Jerry,
I've seen this movie before.
All right, shake it off.
Shake your hands out,
get your circulation back.
All right, I'm gonna
have to tie 'em back up.
- What?
- Because we are outgunned, okay?
And we have to wait
until the time is right.
And you have to wait
on my signal.
Okay? Now, feel that.
See that right there?
- Yeah.
- I want you to pull that on my signal.
On my signal.
I've got my motivation,
I just need more specifics on the blocking.
- Just be ready.
- For what?
We're gonna have to fight
our way out of this one.
All right?
No stunt doubles.
This is for real.
Okay. Okay.
Apparently,
one of the subs went missing
in December of 1989
somewhere in
the Philippine Sea.
One month after the fall
of the Berlin Wall.
And the collapse
of the Soviet Union.
Rumor was that
the captain of the sub
was escaping with millions
in gold bullion
looted from
the Soviet treasury.
- And?
- Here he is.
Look familiar?
Good to see you,
old friend.
Speaking Romanian...
I suppose that now you expect
me to explain all of this to you, hmm?
Actually,
no explanation needed.
- Seems pretty simple.
- Simple?
- Is it?
- Yeah.
You're searching for gold.
Sunken treasure.
Damn the costs.
I mean,
that's the oldest story in the world.
Gold?
Gold?
You think there is gold
in here?
I think he's gonna explain it.
Do you think I would go
to all of this trouble
for a case of gold?
I was the youngest officer
in the Soviet submarine corps
- ever to earn the captain's rank.
- Soviet submarine?
What it in that case
is worth 100 times
its weight in gold
to the right people.
Enough to make me as rich
as those traitorous oligarchs
who looted my country.
What do you plan
to do with us?
I plan to shoot you.
Well, the only thing
I have to say to that, Andre,
is why shoot a pistol...
When you can whip it?
Jerry.
Whoo! Always wondered if
that would work in real life.
What?
Thirty years.
Thirty years
I have waited for this...
- Put it down now.
- Putting the gun down.
- He's with me.
- ...and I will not be denied it now.
It still works.
- My design was flawless.
- You fool.
- What is that?
- Just a nuclear device.
- Oh, my God.
- You had to ask, didn't you?
I have activated it.
My plan was to sell it
to a certain regional dictator
for one billion dollars.
But I will now settle
for two hundred million
in untraceable bearer bonds
and a private jet
with a full tank of fuel.
- You're insane.
- I have set the timer for six hours.
It is irreversible
and only I know the cancel code.
That should give you
enough time to meet my demands.
And when I am safely away,
I will communicate
the code to you.
There won't be enough
time to evacuate.
Exactly.
Well, you'd better get moving.
You didn't set it
for six hours.
You set it for six minutes!
- It's not working.
- Well, try it again.
The Russian embassy's
calling to Moscow now.
- You! What do you know about this?
- Nothing.
The consulate's trying
to find an expert.
We don't have time for that.
We gotta Apollo 13 this thing.
Does anyone have
bomb squad training?
- Do you?
- Not like this.
I trained with
the Navy's EOD squad
back in '94
for "Pistol Whip."
We had a Russian
ex-pat nuke handler
as our weaponry consultant,
and in the show
the device they had to disarm
looked a lot like this one.
Listen, how confident are you?
I'm an actor,
not a bomb expert!
What do you remember about
preparing for the episode?
I'm trying to remember
the script.
There's... there's a panel
with four wires behind it.
In the show,
if you cut the right wire,
- the... the timer disarms.
- Then cut all the wires.
No, no, no, no! You do that and
the bomb detonates... no timer.
All right, which one is it,
Jerry? Which one is it?
- Red? Blue? White? Yellow?
- Oh, I can't remember!
You have to remember
what you did in the show.
- Which wire?
- It's just a TV show.
It's not reality. I don't know
how to do anything real!
Listen to me, okay?
Close your eyes.
Close your eyes
and repeat after me, okay?
Breathing in.
I am one with my breath.
Breathing out.
I am one with my breath.
- What?
- Forty seconds.
- Just say it.
- Breathing in. I am one with my breath.
reathing out.
I am one with my breath.
Forget the script, okay?
What did that Russian
nuke handler tell you?
- If I could suggest...
- I'll break your jaw, man.
- Listen, Jerry, what'd he say?
- Uh, he said...
cutting the wires
was a last resort.
Shooting it with a shotgun
was the first resort.
Well, we can't hide behind a
rock and shoot at the damn thing.
- Just take your best guess.
- Okay, I'm trying. I remember this.
It's coming back to me.
Red. It was red.
The red is the one
you don't cut.
Then you lead
with "don't cut"!
Cut all the other wires
except red!
We did it.
We did it!
It was due to his bravery
and the excellence
of this police precinct
working on my orders
that the perpetrators
were tracked down
the moment they arrived
on our island.
Consequently, all of us
are here today unharmed.
To say Jerry Westwood
is a superstar
is a true understatement.
- Aww.
- Thus, I reward you,
Mr. Westwood,
with this key to Mactan.
Jerry! Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!
We have to keep
the camera for evidence,
but I thought there's
a video of Jessa's on there
that you should have.
Thank you.
So, I got into an argument
with my husband this morning.
You know, since he has
to go to work early,
we didn't resolve it.
So I went for a walk
on the beach,
and within 10 steps,
I'm not even kidding,
I stub my toe.
I stub it hard.
And I... I'm cussing
and I'm grabbing my foot
and all that,
and I look down and I see
the shape of the rock...
Which is gonna look great
on my nightstand by the way.
And it was like...
It was like a sign from God,
you know?
I felt so relieved...
...to have so much love
in my life.
At this point, I don't even know
why I'm filming this anymore.
It's way too personal.
Maybe this is for you, babe.
This is for us to
look back on years from now,
to remember that the bad
is always followed by the good.
I love you, babe.
"Thanks for everything,
compadre.
Take good care of her.
Your pal, Jerry."
on "Jessa's Ocean Diary,"
we're here
at the Olango Channel.
And I'm naming today's vlog
"The Green Sea Turtle Adventure"
because I just ran
into this guy right here.
Only one percent of these guys
ever make it to adulthood.
I mean, this guy
is fully grown.
Judging by his size,
he could be 100 years old.
Mr. Turtle, you're welcome
to join us on our dive today,
but if you prefer
to stay here on the beach
and hang out in the sun,
I'm sure we'd all understand.
Wish me luck.
My name is Alex Walker.
I'm ex-DEA.
I quit the agency because my
friend and partner betrayed me.
One of my first assignments
took me to an isolated beach
right here on this island.
I sold what little I had
and bought myself
a gift shop.
Just peace.
No stress, no drama.
Boy, was I wrong.
*ALMOST PARADISE*
Season 01 Episode 04
Episode Title: "Pistol Whip"
Aired on: April 20, 2020
The third number is...
- Nineteen.
- Nineteen! That's...
three out of five, man.
That's like hot showers
forever.
On a yacht.
For the fourth number,
we have...
Twenty-one.
Fifth and last number
is coming up.
All right. Five,
five. We already got three out of five.
Four out of five, man.
No more ice showers
like a frickin' penguin.
- Eleven, eleven, eleven.
- The last number is...
One-one. Eleven, eleven.
Eleven, eleven, eleven.
Two.
If you've won something,
simply sign your ticket,
then turn it in.
I swear they do that
on purpose.
And from Washington,
for the fifth week in a row,
Congress has failed to end
the government shutdown.
Pension and disability payments
continue to be delayed.
Damn it!
I'm breathing in.
I am one with my breath.
I'm breathing out.
I am one with my breath.
Breathing in.
I am one with my breath.
Breathing out.
I am one with my breath.
Breathing in.
I am grateful.
Breathing out.
Money isn't everything.
And who says that?
Man, have you ever
heard of knocking?
This is store.
You should put
small bell over door.
Actu... listen, I know that
I'm late on my utilities, okay?
If you could just pay
for a couple more weeks.
Alex, you have
big check from government.
Plus you have this store.
Why you always broke, huh?
Where your money?
You have gambling problem?
- I don't have any.
- Or girls? Or drugs?
What happened
to your welfare check?
First of all,
it's not a welfare check.
Well, I'm not welfare
officer either.
This is not charity.
You pay your bills
or I will tow this building
off property,
you understand?
Tow the... listen, the U.S.
government is shut down, man.
- I just need like a few...
- You have till Wednesday.
- It's the U.S. Congress, Cory!
- Aah!
It doesn't work like that.
- You're not allowed back here.
- No, listen, listen.
My wife's been missing
for three days.
I know something
terrible has happened.
Please, sir! Sir, please.
My wife's missing.
She... her name's Jessa Torres.
Okay, let's go. You filed a
missing person's report. Let's go.
Sirs, we need your help, sirs.
She's a great person.
- I said let's go.
- Can't save everyone, Kai.
- Hey!
- Kai.
I'll take it
from here, officer.
Is that the case jacket?
I haven't heard
from my wife in three days.
That's never happened in the
10 years that we were together.
I know we're
not important people,
but if a rich man's wife
or tourist's wife disappeared,
things would have been
different, I'm sure.
No, we care about everyone
on this island.
Okay? Everyone.
Let me look into it
and get back to you.
Thank you.
God bless you.
Got a minute, sir?
Not now, Mendoza.
I have somewhere I need to be.
The man who was shouting
in the bullpen?
You know how many
missing person cases
we receive every week?
Over 20.
I was just looking at this.
The neighbors said
the two were arguing
the night before
the wife disappeared.
That's not in the jacket.
You don't think we follow up
on these things?
Well, why is he
not a suspect?
Because they also saw
her leave the next morning.
She's not missing.
She's just mad.
Mendoza, don't make
something out of nothing.
Hi! Hey!
Okay. Here you go.
For you.
Thank you. Thank you.
- Thank you!
- Yes! Thank you!
- Thank you. Bye!
- Thank you for coming!
Nikolai, you tell them to be
careful with the lights.
Aah! Jerry's here!
Ike Ocampo,
Mactan Chief of Police.
Well, always grateful
to meet the men
on the front line
of safety and security.
It's an honor, sir.
Jerry Westwood
at your service.
Oh, please, Mr. Westwood.
No need to introduce yourself.
We're big fans
on this island.
Your show's been airing
since I was in college.
Well, that's who I do it for.
For the fans.
Have you met our director
Andre Adam?
- Andre Adam.
- Ike Ocampo.
We appreciate the help
your office has given us.
Always a challenge
shooting in a new country.
I wanted to personally
bring you this filming permit.
- Ah.
- We wanted to help make your shoot here
as pleasant as possible.
Oh, thank you.
That's very thoughtful.
We're going to do great
things here. Great things.
So, when I heard that you were
doing this documentary TV series...
"Wreckage Of War."
It will be fantastic.
When we're done, no one will
forget the name of Andre Adam.
"Wreckage Of War," huh? Well,
that's a very brilliant idea.
You know, there are more
World War II shipwrecks
in this area
than anywhere in the world.
You may not know
that my grandfather
was in the Cebu resistance
during the Japanese occupation.
- Oh.
- Incredible.
And I'd be glad to talk
and recount his stories
on camera.
Do you hear that, Jerry?
What luck.
Man, that's great.
Maybe we could sit down.
I could pick your brain
for a bit.
Now, my career has always been
about detailed preparation.
Truly knowing every aspect
is what has defined my career.
You know, actors these days,
they just care
about Twitter followers,
I'm afraid.
The craft?
It's a dying art.
I would love
to do that anytime.
So, who should I speak to?
Nikolai is our producer.
He can take your information.
Nikolai, please.
- Oh, okay.
- Come.
Uh, okay. Ike Ocampo.
You know, my grandfather
was part of the Cebu resistance...
Hey.
You know anybody who wants
to buy a very nice watch?
No?
Hey. Double whiskey, neat,
and make it stiff.
Hey, man.
You're that... you're that guy.
The guy from the show!
Uh, well, I've been
in lots of shows,
but I wager you're referring
to my 1990s hit "Pistol Whip"?
"Pistol Whip"!
That's the one, man.
I got... we used to watch that
show all the time. I loved that show.
Yeah, it's a classic.
Oh, seriously, man.
It was great.
You... you had that...
That beautiful pistol
with the pearl handle.
The snub nose revolver, man.
And I always wanted
one of those.
And you had the move,
your signature move, where you used to...
Well, thanks, compadre.
Call me Jerry.
Alex. Alex Walker.
Yeah.
If you want to do it right,
the trick is you pick a spot two
feet behind your actual target
and you follow through like you're
holding a tennis racket backhanded.
You know.
- Hey, why shoot a pistol...
- When you can whip it?
- Come on, man.
- Chuck Norris taught me that.
- Shut up.
- Spent the summer going from dojo to dojo
picking up the best
moves I could find.
The producers wanted to
call the show "Pistol Cop."
Can you believe that?
- I set 'em straight.
- Man.
What are you doing
on the island?
Making a documentary show
about World War II
naval battles.
We're shooting
the undersea wrecks.
- How's that going?
- Just got into town.
Hey. You're that guy.
You're that actor, right?
I am an actor.
You're supposed to be
a tough guy.
From that show
in the '90s, right?
He's not so tough
in real life, is he?
Listen, guys, we're just
trying to have a quiet drink.
We're not talking to you.
We're talking to the tough guy.
Boys, how can I help you?
Do you want a picture?
Autograph?
Ah, no one wants
your damn autograph.
Okay, then, well,
you boys have a good night.
He's... he's dismissing us.
Hey, you think
you're better than us.
No, no, that's not
what I mean at all.
Why don't we find out
how tough you really are?
Listen, guys.
I'm gonna give you
and your big drunk
ugly friend here
one chance just
to walk away.
- Oh, you are, are you?
- Yes, that's right.
But first, you gotta pick
which hand the walnut is in.
- Yeah, right.
- No, wrong.
Sorry about that.
That was fantastic.
You can really
handle yourself.
Well...
Hey, you ever do
any stunt work?
No, no.
Um, you have job
for stunt man?
Cory.
Well,
they arrived here with this barebones crew.
No stand-in.
No stunt double.
Oh!
This man, huh?
Good stunt double.
Stunt double?
I don't even...
No, no.
He like the job.
How much you pay?
Well, I should be able
to scramble together,
I don't know,
like, $500 a day?
I don't even look like... you
know? He's taller than me.
Oh, it doesn't matter.
It's all underwater.
Masks, wet suits...
No one will know.
$600. We have a deal.
My producer Nikolai,
he's a tightwad,
but I like the cut of your jib,
Alex. I'll just insist.
- You make good businessman.
- Well, thank you, ma'am.
- Welcome aboard, compadre.
- Yeah!
Yeah.
I didn't think you'd come.
Please.
Do all detectives
start the day this early?
- I'm here on my own time.
- Thanks.
Before we go any further,
I wanted to ask you
about this fight.
I already told them,
it was an argument, not a fight.
What about?
Well, I don't want her
to keep scuba diving alone.
That's dangerous.
- So she dives.
- All the time.
She does this vlog
on social media.
She loves doing it,
but I always worry.
- You ever dive with her?
- Nah.
I don't even swim.
She was taught young, though.
Yeah? So was I.
This is her channel.
You'd be amazed
how many people follow it.
She was studying
to be a marine biologist.
Yeah, the ocean's her passion,
and this is her way
of sharing that with people.
She's just this kind of person
that draws in the world
and everyone around her.
Guys,
I found this huge piece of metal
while diving
in the Olango Channel.
What is this thing?
Oh, man, this is crazy.
Hey, everybody!
Here we are.
Yeah, I love you!
Here we are.
Just want to give a shout-out
to Deep Blue Dive Shop
for always hooking up
the equipment.
Thank you, Linda!
Best dive shop in Cebu.
I'll keep in touch.
Please find her.
She's my world.
Oh. Okay. Ah, yeah.
- Hey, guys. How are you?
- Feeling relaxed?
Hey, man, well, that's
actually not my specialty.
Ah, this'll be fun!
Come on,
we'll introduce you,
and then the two of us
can get to work.
All right.
Nikolai, this is Alex,
the man I told you about.
How you doing, man?
Good to see you.
Listen, are you guys a film
crew or basketball team?
The underwater stand-in
stunt double.
Yeah, well, listen, for $600 a day,
I'll press this man's pants for him.
Nikolai's got an iron boot,
but all good producers do.
Just don't get
on his bad side.
- All right.
- It's gonna be amazing.
- And how is my star feeling today?
- Like a bull stud.
I need to talk to you
about your, uh, makeup test.
Well, I usually use
a Comanche Sunset No. 27.
Yes, that's good. Good.
Thank you.
Listen, uh, Jerry
is driving us all nuts.
So many stories,
so much talking.
It's getting in the way.
So how about you, uh,
take him out to the resort,
take some of the equipment,
go scuba,
have mai tais, whatever.
Just stay out of our hair
till tomorrow, okay?
Your show.
Let's go.
How'd you get this job, anyway?
Through your agent?
My agent? Ha-ha.
That's a good one.
No, after I lost
the first round
of "Dancing With The Stars,"
he dropped me.
No, Nikolai
contacted me directly.
Crap money, but I
could use the exposure.
Out of sight,
out of mind, you know?
It's easy to forget
an old ham like me.
Don't say that, man.
You're a TV legend.
Yeah, you're too kind.
I don't know, I usually have
more time to prepare, you know?
This all just
feels so rushed.
What do you mean rushed?
It came together a week ago.
Andre said he was only
hired three days ago.
Can you believe that?
These eastern Europeans,
they're something different.
These are new models.
It's all digital gear.
When'd this come out?
Two, three years ago?
Fancy new regulators?
I don't know. Ten, I think.
Why, you still running the
old tanks for the hotel guests?
No, I'm just saying,
it's brand-new equipment.
These Romanians,
they may not know how to treat an actor,
but they sure have
some nice equipment.
You know, I've never seen
camera rigs like that before.
Warning, warning,
warning, warning, warning.
Input error, input error,
input error.
Error, error, error, error.
So, Jessa uses your equipment
for her own dives?
Yeah, for free.
I told her
it's because she plugs me
on her Pacific Vlogger channel,
but really
it's because I like her.
- And, Sam? He loves her.
- Sam?
I see. So do you know
how many tanks you have?
45.
Okay, because
I only count 44.
My gosh, you're right.
We're short one.
- And you took inventory?
- Only last week.
So, from then to now,
could someone have taken it
at night or borrowed it
without you knowing?
The only other person
who has a key is Jessa.
Okay.
Well, thank you so much
for your time.
Is she okay?
Should I be
worried about her?
Just call me
if you hear from her.
Yo.
- What are you doing here?
- What are you doing here?
I got a job.
I'm not up to speed
on all this equipment,
so I figured somebody here
could help me out.
I could show you
how to use it.
- Really?
- Yeah.
Just like that? I don't
have to talk you into it?
You're just gonna do it? Why?
Because I'm a really nice
person.
Seriously, why?
And this is a regulator.
You breathe in oxygen,
exhale carbon dioxide.
- Really, Kai?
- Sorry.
That thing on your wrist
is a console computer.
It'll keep all
your systems in sync
and will tell us
when it's time to turn back.
Turn back from where?
Well, we can either
mess around here in the bay
or we can take
a five-mile drift dive
out into the Olango Channel.
Huh.
All right.
Now I know why
you're helping me.
What?
What are you looking for
out there, huh?
Contraband?
Missing persons case?
A diver, probably?
Let me guess. She's a woman?
Young? Not too young?
- Somebody you see yourself in?
- I hate when you do that.
Ocampo probably thinks it's
a waste of time, doesn't he?
And I guess you need me
because you need a buddy.
I don't need a buddy.
I needed the equipment.
Unbelievable.
What the hell was that?
I don't know.
You're the one with the info.
I have no idea
who those guys were.
Did you get
a good look at 'em?
Not really.
Only thing I saw were...
- White wet suits? Yeah.
- White wet suits.
My missing person
was an underwater videographer
with a camera just like that.
This battery's dead.
This thing could be fried.
Would this work?
Why are you here so late?
And why are you here at all?
Somebody tried
to kill us tonight.
With a spear gun.
- Where?
- The Olango Channel.
Yep, that makes sense.
How does trying to kill us
make sense?
The abalone hunters
in the Olango
are notoriously territorial.
These guys weren't fishermen.
Then they were probably
treasure hunters.
Treasure hunters?
The Olango's cursed.
No two nights are the same.
The tides shift. New batches
of coral pop up out of nowhere.
Ships get beached
and wrecked all the time.
People say more gold's
gone down on the Olango
- than any place on Earth.
- Gold, huh?
Olango was
on the galleon trade route
between Acapulco and Manila.
The riches of the East traded
for the gold of the West.
I don't think Jessa Torres
was a treasure hunter.
Well, wherever there's gold,
there are people looking for it.
Treasure hunters,
criminals,
and wherever a person
dies in agony,
like on a shipwreck,
their soul lives on
as an evil spirit.
I didn't take you
for the superstitious type.
I'm not. It's bad luck
to be superstitious.
Got it.
You realize Ocampo would have you
ticketing parked cars for the next year
for violating one
of his direct orders.
He said not to make
something out of nothing.
This... this is not nothing.
Hey, guys! Okay, so today on
"Jessa's Ocean Diary,"
we're here
at the Olango Channel.
- Son of a gun.
- And I'm naming today's vlog
"The Green Sea Turtle..."
You're
asking me to close off
the entire five-mile
Olango Channel?
What do you propose I do?
Dredge it?
No, sir,
but it's a crime scene. We were shot at.
It's the last known location
of Jessa Torres.
- We need to investigate.
- You were foolishly diving at night,
investigating a case
you weren't even assigned to.
And it sounds like you
stumbled on abalone poachers.
As far as Jessa Torres is concerned,
it's not a crime scene.
You know the meaning
of habeas corpus?
- Yes, sir.
- Habeas... to have, corpus... the body.
If you find the body,
then you have the crime.
No,
we're not closing down that channel.
We have fishermen there,
we have tourism,
we have a film crew shooting
a very important documentary.
Is that why you...
Why what?
Why what?
Oh, man! About time.
What do you mean
it's about time?
I thought you said
it was a 7:00 call time.
Exactly, we're supposed
to be on set by 7:00.
Didn't you read
your call sheet?
What is... I don't even
know what that is.
It's essential to every shoot.
Tells you what you're filming,
when, and where.
And where exactly
are we shooting?
The Olango Channel.
Nothing like
working on the water!
Or in this case,
underwater.
I did eight weeks on "The
Perfect Storm" back in '99.
Yep. The part got cut,
but I learned a lot about sailoring.
Of course, that was in a tank...
Studio 60, Warner Bros.
Hail, maestros!
- We're here to make magic.
- You're late.
Yeah, that's actually my
fault and I apologize. I'm sorry.
We've got a full day today.
Let's go.
Don't worry about Nikolai.
He's a hard man
doing a hard job.
He's right, though.
Won't happen again.
Come, my boy.
Today, we make magic.
We make history.
You need something?
Nope, just doing
an equipment check, boss.
- It's been done.
- Yes. Okay.
Imagine being here
in this very spot
on that Sunday morning in 1941.
Japanese Zeroes came
over the horizon with the sun.
Why aren't we
shooting anything?
Welcome to showbiz.
It's hurry up
and wait forever.
Come on, you want
to run some more lines?
We're not really
running lines.
It's narration.
Well, you wanna
hear it again?
You bet, man.
Knock yourself out.
Let me ask you, though,
what... what are they doing?
Uh, Nikolai said they're
preparing the underwater set.
Who is?
Everybody's on deck.
Oh, they hired some local
divers to help out, you know?
Do the dirty work.
Okay, scene 101.
Right away, please, gentlemen.
The Japanese fighters
were the first airplanes
ever designed
to carry a jettisonable
external fuel tank.
They were fast, maneuverable,
and powerful.
And cut.
Fantastic, Jerry.
Fantastic.
Any notes?
I can do it again.
No notes.
We do the close-up.
Take your time.
Savor the moment.
Okay.
Keep some of the fins
down there?
Aw, look at this.
That's sturdy construction
right there.
Australian, huh?
Non-ferrous metal.
I like it.
We have all our permits,
officer. Right here.
Actually, sir,
the captain was wondering
if he could get a photo
with Mr. Westwood.
- He's a big fan.
- Yes.
Yes, of course.
Guys,
I found this huge piece of metal
while diving
in the Olango Channel.
What is this thing?
Hey, everybody.
Here we are!
You see that?
Hey, Ernesto, can you
take a look at this?
Cyrillic. Russian.
What's a Soviet
submarine propeller
doing in the Philippines?
And that's a wrap
for Jerry up top.
But I've still got a page
and a half of dialogue.
We are switching
to underwater shooting now.
Ion, take them down
and help them
get into their scuba gear.
What the hell
is going on here?
Andre, you're the director.
This is your set. Take over.
I hate to break this to you,
Jerry,
- but there is no TV show.
- Pardon?
These guys are
treasure hunters.
They're using
this TV show as a cover
- to bring up the loot.
- Loot?
Yeah, what is it?
Historical relics? Gold?
The point is,
they need the cover
because they know
it's illegal.
This was all a show
for the Coast Guard,
but now that they're gone,
they don't need us anymore.
Whatever gold is down there
is patrimony of the Philippines.
And whatever they were looking for,
they just found it, my man,
and they are bringing it up right here,
right now on that deck.
Hey, you listen to me,
compadre.
You're wrong. You have to
be wrong. I need this show.
- Jerry.
- Tell him, Andre.
Tell him we're doing a damn
show about World War II.
- There's no TV show?
- Jerry. Jerry, don't. No, don't, Jerry!
Move and you're dead.
Take them below deck now
before we get
any more visitors.
Yes, Captain.
Onward, comrades,
to fame, fortune, and history.
Say a word and I put
a bullet in the head.
Let's go.
Jerry.
Jerry, look.
You see that blue tape?
- Well, I guess this is it.
- Jerry.
I dedicated my life to acting,
to craft, to characters,
and what do I have
to show for it?
No, no, the blue tape.
The blue tape!
Four failed marriages,
three estranged kids,
and a TV show
no one remembers.
Do you know what
it was like to be admired?
People looked at me
like I was a real hero.
Now I'm the guy selling
adult diapers on late night TV.
Do you have any idea
who I used to think I was?
How did you
come up with that?
- I put it in there.
- You did? When?
When? Earlier. I knew
that we might be in trouble,
and so I thought
if they were gonna tie us up,
this is where they'd
bring us. Come on.
There is more to you than meets the eye,
Mr. Walker.
Well, Jerry,
I've seen this movie before.
All right, shake it off.
Shake your hands out,
get your circulation back.
All right, I'm gonna
have to tie 'em back up.
- What?
- Because we are outgunned, okay?
And we have to wait
until the time is right.
And you have to wait
on my signal.
Okay? Now, feel that.
See that right there?
- Yeah.
- I want you to pull that on my signal.
On my signal.
I've got my motivation,
I just need more specifics on the blocking.
- Just be ready.
- For what?
We're gonna have to fight
our way out of this one.
All right?
No stunt doubles.
This is for real.
Okay. Okay.
Apparently,
one of the subs went missing
in December of 1989
somewhere in
the Philippine Sea.
One month after the fall
of the Berlin Wall.
And the collapse
of the Soviet Union.
Rumor was that
the captain of the sub
was escaping with millions
in gold bullion
looted from
the Soviet treasury.
- And?
- Here he is.
Look familiar?
Good to see you,
old friend.
Speaking Romanian...
I suppose that now you expect
me to explain all of this to you, hmm?
Actually,
no explanation needed.
- Seems pretty simple.
- Simple?
- Is it?
- Yeah.
You're searching for gold.
Sunken treasure.
Damn the costs.
I mean,
that's the oldest story in the world.
Gold?
Gold?
You think there is gold
in here?
I think he's gonna explain it.
Do you think I would go
to all of this trouble
for a case of gold?
I was the youngest officer
in the Soviet submarine corps
- ever to earn the captain's rank.
- Soviet submarine?
What it in that case
is worth 100 times
its weight in gold
to the right people.
Enough to make me as rich
as those traitorous oligarchs
who looted my country.
What do you plan
to do with us?
I plan to shoot you.
Well, the only thing
I have to say to that, Andre,
is why shoot a pistol...
When you can whip it?
Jerry.
Whoo! Always wondered if
that would work in real life.
What?
Thirty years.
Thirty years
I have waited for this...
- Put it down now.
- Putting the gun down.
- He's with me.
- ...and I will not be denied it now.
It still works.
- My design was flawless.
- You fool.
- What is that?
- Just a nuclear device.
- Oh, my God.
- You had to ask, didn't you?
I have activated it.
My plan was to sell it
to a certain regional dictator
for one billion dollars.
But I will now settle
for two hundred million
in untraceable bearer bonds
and a private jet
with a full tank of fuel.
- You're insane.
- I have set the timer for six hours.
It is irreversible
and only I know the cancel code.
That should give you
enough time to meet my demands.
And when I am safely away,
I will communicate
the code to you.
There won't be enough
time to evacuate.
Exactly.
Well, you'd better get moving.
You didn't set it
for six hours.
You set it for six minutes!
- It's not working.
- Well, try it again.
The Russian embassy's
calling to Moscow now.
- You! What do you know about this?
- Nothing.
The consulate's trying
to find an expert.
We don't have time for that.
We gotta Apollo 13 this thing.
Does anyone have
bomb squad training?
- Do you?
- Not like this.
I trained with
the Navy's EOD squad
back in '94
for "Pistol Whip."
We had a Russian
ex-pat nuke handler
as our weaponry consultant,
and in the show
the device they had to disarm
looked a lot like this one.
Listen, how confident are you?
I'm an actor,
not a bomb expert!
What do you remember about
preparing for the episode?
I'm trying to remember
the script.
There's... there's a panel
with four wires behind it.
In the show,
if you cut the right wire,
- the... the timer disarms.
- Then cut all the wires.
No, no, no, no! You do that and
the bomb detonates... no timer.
All right, which one is it,
Jerry? Which one is it?
- Red? Blue? White? Yellow?
- Oh, I can't remember!
You have to remember
what you did in the show.
- Which wire?
- It's just a TV show.
It's not reality. I don't know
how to do anything real!
Listen to me, okay?
Close your eyes.
Close your eyes
and repeat after me, okay?
Breathing in.
I am one with my breath.
Breathing out.
I am one with my breath.
- What?
- Forty seconds.
- Just say it.
- Breathing in. I am one with my breath.
reathing out.
I am one with my breath.
Forget the script, okay?
What did that Russian
nuke handler tell you?
- If I could suggest...
- I'll break your jaw, man.
- Listen, Jerry, what'd he say?
- Uh, he said...
cutting the wires
was a last resort.
Shooting it with a shotgun
was the first resort.
Well, we can't hide behind a
rock and shoot at the damn thing.
- Just take your best guess.
- Okay, I'm trying. I remember this.
It's coming back to me.
Red. It was red.
The red is the one
you don't cut.
Then you lead
with "don't cut"!
Cut all the other wires
except red!
We did it.
We did it!
It was due to his bravery
and the excellence
of this police precinct
working on my orders
that the perpetrators
were tracked down
the moment they arrived
on our island.
Consequently, all of us
are here today unharmed.
To say Jerry Westwood
is a superstar
is a true understatement.
- Aww.
- Thus, I reward you,
Mr. Westwood,
with this key to Mactan.
Jerry! Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!
We have to keep
the camera for evidence,
but I thought there's
a video of Jessa's on there
that you should have.
Thank you.
So, I got into an argument
with my husband this morning.
You know, since he has
to go to work early,
we didn't resolve it.
So I went for a walk
on the beach,
and within 10 steps,
I'm not even kidding,
I stub my toe.
I stub it hard.
And I... I'm cussing
and I'm grabbing my foot
and all that,
and I look down and I see
the shape of the rock...
Which is gonna look great
on my nightstand by the way.
And it was like...
It was like a sign from God,
you know?
I felt so relieved...
...to have so much love
in my life.
At this point, I don't even know
why I'm filming this anymore.
It's way too personal.
Maybe this is for you, babe.
This is for us to
look back on years from now,
to remember that the bad
is always followed by the good.
I love you, babe.
"Thanks for everything,
compadre.
Take good care of her.
Your pal, Jerry."