Almost Happy (2020–…): Season 1, Episode 2 - La semifinal - full transcript

Okay, "A TV set is the..."

Wait. "A TV set
is the household appliance..."

I won't say "household appliance,"
I get stuck.

"A TV set is the strangest
piece of furniture or household appliance

because it doesn't have
any special purpose.

What does the microwave do?
It heats up food.

A cabinet...
And what a horrible name that is.

'Cabinet.' What can I say? 'Cabinet.'

We use it to put stuff in it.

And the washing machine?
I ask the audience,

what's the washing machine for?



You'll say, 'To wash clothes.'

Perfect! That's how it should be.

The name tells you what it's for.

Washing machine, what does it do?
It washes clothes.

'TV' doesn't tell you anything.

Have a good night, thank you very much."

I mean, besides not finding it funny,

we should speak in favor of TV sets.
It's a TV set event.

- What do you think, Felipe?
- I don't know what you're talking about.

Complaining about the TV?
Then just don't watch it.

Let's call it off.

Not because of the Atlanta match. Speaking
about TV sets doesn't come naturally.

Doing a monologue about TV sets isn't me.

But the sponsor is a TV set company.



If Hitler sponsored me tomorrow,
would I have to speak well of him?

Get Hitler out of this,
you're obsessed with Hitler.

This is who I am,
don't mess with my quirks.

You need to learn the difference
between Hitler and a TV set.

We can't call it off.
They payed 50% up front.

Look at the hotel,
you can stay there if you want.

- What hotel is it?
- Berlin Hotel, four stars.

Berlin, Germany, there you have it.

- What?
- It stalks me, there you have it.

No!

It's not my fault I have to work
the day I should be at the soccer stadium.

I can say a relative died.

I'll call off the event,
and then I can go to the match.

But what relative should I say died?

I have this recurring issue,
it's a pattern,

the dates always match.

The line is open,
we're still taking calls. Hello!

- Hi, Sebastián.
- Yes, who is this?

- My name's Hernán, from Villa Urquiza.
- Hernán, "H." Talk to me, Hernán.

It seems to me you should drop
the spoiled baby drama.

I wish I had to choose between work
and a soccer match, but I lost my job.

- Anything else, Hernán?
- Go, River!

You don't stand a chance today, Sebas!

Thanks.

A NETFLIX ORIGINAL SERIES

RADIO URBANA FM 198.2

ON AIR

ALMOST HAPPY

2. "THE SEMIFINAL"

Why are you so idiotic?

Because I am.

I want to call off a gig to go to a match.

A job anyone would kill for.

It's going to a hotel to do a monologue.
They're paying me to do it,

but I don't want to.
I'd rather go to the match.

- Is that why you're idiotic?
- Anyone would say I am.

And you?

What would you say?

That I love going to the stadium.

- Maybe that's it.
- Enough to drop a gig?

Your dad wouldn't have dropped a gig
to go to a game.

No, never.

Maybe "anyone" is your dad.

Your dad would say you're idiotic
for dropping a gig to go to a match.

What are you thinking?

The other day, I woke up in the middle
of the night when I found out

the gig and the match
were at the same time.

I woke up with tachycardia,
out of breath, anguished...

And I called my producer to call it off.

My producer was with a girl, with a woman.

I was jealous,
I wanted to be in his shoes.

You're never where you should be.

You want to be in a match,
but you have a gig.

You want to be in one bed,
but you're in another.

I like being in my bed.

- With someone?
- It seems so.

Pilar?

I don't know.

Where do you like being?

I don't know.

Maybe I should do more
of the things I like.

I even thought of coming here
twice a week.

Correct.

We'll start doing it after next week.

Next week I have
a small surgical intervention.

- You're having surgery?
- Yes.

- Psychologists have surgeries too.
- Yes, Sebastián.

Well, I guess you're afraid, anxious,

wanting to be somewhere else.

See you next time, Sebastián.

Okay.

All right...

I'll pay you...

Starting next session,
there's an adjustment to my fee.

- I'm charging 25% more.
- Okay.

Then it would be...

- Twenty-five percent.
- Do the math.

I'm not good at percentages.
I'll calculate it later.

Okay.

One more thing...

Can you give me an invoice
starting next session?

- An invoice?
- Yes, can you?

All these years working together
and now you ask me for an invoice?

- My accountant asked me to...
- We'll see.

- Okay, good luck with the surgery.
- Thanks.

What a lobby, huh?

It's called Berlin Hotel,
it does seem European.

Hi, we have a reservation
under Radio Urbana.

Yes, one room with a double bed.

And the other room...
Seba, do you want a double bed or not?

- Double bed, of course.
- Double bed too.

- Hand me the suit.
- Sure.

Right, see you downstairs in a bit.

If they call it off, let me know.

- No one's canceling it.
- I hope they do.

- It's not getting canceled.
- What do you know?

What a nerve-racking match, my friends,
an extraordinary soccer night.

Everyone watching a game
that could be a turning point...

So I wonder...

Would any Atlanta fan...

miss this match? Impossible!

This is the match that could be
the before and after

in the club's reputation.

This is a match that marks history.

That's it, yes!

It's so embarrassing,
you having to tie my knot.

Don't worry about it.

You know, in school
I used to wear a tie with an elastic band.

You'd place it right on.

But then, a tie... no.

I avoid wearing ties.

- Do you have any siblings?
- Yes, I have a brother.

- Really? What's his name?
- Gastón.

- I'd peg you as an only child.
- Why?

I don't know,
you have an only-child attitude.

- And a single man's too.
- Well, I am single.

Separated, but single.

Well, I know you're separated.

I mean single, as in bachelor.
You know?

As someone who's never been married.
That's what you seem like.

Hey, caught you!

- Oh, no.
- No, not with my boss.

- It was a slip. I'm confused.
- Polyamory, yes, but not with my boss.

Okay.

Hey...

want anything from the minibar?

...which will have us on pins and needles
during the 90 minutes

and penalty overtime.

Shall we?

- Sure.
- Great.

Listen, we have to go downstairs
and do the sound check, okay?

The sooner you're downstairs,
the sooner you come back to the match.

Okay.

A big hand for Jorge Redondo,
CEO of the company.

And now, tonight's show.

Guys, from where will Sebastián come in?

- From here.
- Hi! What a surprise!

- You knew I was coming.
- I did, but seeing you here...

- How are you?
- Great.

I was thrilled to hear you'd be here!

I was also thrilled to find out I'd come.

- I'll let you do the sound check.
- Great.

- See you.
- See you, Romina.

- Thanks.
- Bye.

Well, this is it, right?

Hi, testing.

TV set event, what's up?

Can you hear me?

It's starting.

Go!

I still always listen to your show.

I can't believe your team is Atlanta.

- I thought it was a character...
- No, it's not a character.

- I'm a fan.
- ...you did on the radio.

- I can't believe it.
- What happened? I didn't get it.

- No.
- Sebastián?

Sebastián, sorry to bother you.

I know you're hanging out
with your friends.

- Tell me.
- Can you spare a minute?

Sure.

I'm a radio host and, let's say,
I'm also an actor.

It would be great if you checked out

how I present an interview
how I present a song.

I do monologues. I'm also a musician,
I'm familiar with Winamp, I'm a DJ.

I do events, I have a Maná
acoustic tribute band.

Lovely, yes.

Listen, I don't decide
who gets to be hired at the station.

- Give him your WhatsApp number.
- I'll... No, I'll give you my email.

- Your email address? Great.
- They can't make that ruling.

- What's your email address?
- You can't rule that.

You just can't rule that.

Was it a penalty?

No, free kick.

I shouldn't talk about soccer.
I'm a River fan, you know?

Then why aren't you watching the game?

- My dad used to take me to the stadium.
- They're not ruling a penalty!

- It didn't go in?
- It's a penalty!

It's for Atlanta, that's why.

Soccer was always present in our lives.

But then, well, it happened.

My dad died, yes.

So now soccer
brings me kind of bad memories.

I understand. It's the most important
thing that's happening to me right now.

- I'm sure.
- So, please, if you'd stop bothering me.

- Sure.
- Great.

- There it is!
- Can we take a picture?

It'll only take a second.

- I'll take it.
- Great.

- Romina Castro!
- Yes.

- Romina Castro.
- It's you!

- Hi!
- How are you?

- What's up? Is everything okay?
- Great, divine.

Pose for the picture.

- Will you take it?
- Sure!

Sebi, can you face the camera...

and give us a smile? Here it goes.

- You came out great.
- Thanks, lovely.

- Congratulations.
- My mom would die to know I met you.

- You're so nice!
- Well, I hope not, Dad's dead already.

- Good luck.
- It's been a pleasure, thanks.

- Likewise.
- You're truly nice, thanks.

- Thanks, kid.
- That referee is shameless.

To top it off, he's offended,
did you see that?

- He goes, "You're truly nice."
- He isn't offended.

Well, Sebi, you can't give
your email address to just anyone.

- You're right.
- Giving out your mail is crazy.

- True, but sometimes guilt takes over me.
- No, I don't think it's guilt.

To me, you're being a coward.

No, it's guilt. I feel guilty
I have a job and he doesn't.

Well, I don't know, go to therapy.

- You can't live like that.
- I've gone to therapy forever.

What's more, next week
I'll start going twice a week.

- Twice a week?
- Great, right decision.

There was a time in my life
when I used to go to therapy a lot.

Almost every day, 3 times a week.
I'd talk about everything.

At one point, I got sick of it. I said,
"Enough with therapy, I want to live."

I stopped going to therapy
and started fucking around.

Get it? I slept around big time,
good fucking.

That's what you need to do.
You need to start fucking, Sebi.

I know what I'm talking about.

Well, I'll go do the sound check.

- Bye, love.
- Bye.

As a woman, I'm telling you,
she wants you.

As a man, I sense it too.

No, it's impossible.

She plays this game with me, but no.
I know her ex-husband.

- We all know him. So what?
- They're stealing it from us.

I'm not a crybaby, but they're robbing us.
Stop screwing around.

- Go on.
- Is your whole family for Atlanta?

He turns into a zombie with soccer.
He's alienated.

- Are your parents still alive?
- They live and fuck more than he does.

No, I'm serious.

- Oh.
- They do.

Aims for the goal! And it's in...!

Fuck!

Fucking shit!

Two minutes. Grow a pair, guys.

It's a match where you need to hold on
for 20 minutes, the first half hour.

In these kinds of matches
you have to be alert. Alert, man!

Hi, how are you doing?

- Hi, how are you?
- Great, and you?

Fine.

It's lovely having you.

- What?
- It's lovely having you with the company.

How are you?

- What's up?
- Right, wait, let me wash my hands.

Oh, yes. I'm Jorge Redondo.

- CEO of Continental TV Sets.
- Oh, how are you?

I hired you for this event.

I don't know, I spoke to your producer.

- Shade.
- With Shade, exactly.

- I'll wait for you.
- Great.

No. I mean, I set up the event
around your schedule.

Really?

Yes, I threw the party
when you had an opening.

They told me the other way round,
that you set the date.

No, it was exactly the other way round.

- Well...
- Frankly, I'm really...

I really admire you. Me and my family
listen to your show all the time.

- Okay.
- I went to the theater to...

If you'd give me a second, please, I...

- No, let's talk later, then we can...
- No, wait.

I waited for you.

Okay.

I waited for you.
Just give me a second.

I was telling you I really admire you.

I also wanted to be a radio show host
when I was younger, do monologues.

And, well, in the end, I couldn't.
So, well, I started working.

Well, this is also working.

Don't laugh, it is working.

- Yes, it is. To be honest, I love it.
- Great.

- No, I was saying...
- I want to go through the monologue.

I wanted to talk about the monologue.

I'll be brief. Let's be on the same page
about what you're going to say.

There's nothing to discuss.
I've already written it.

I won't tell you what you should do.
Did you know this family company

- was founded by my grandfather in 1900?
- Really?

So there are certain things,

certain protocols in this company,
that I wouldn't want to...

I wouldn't want to violate. For instance,

don't talk about politics on stage.

- I don't talk about politics.
- People don't like politics.

And this is something very important,
death...

- I don't talk about that.
- Don't.

- Okay.
- In the past few months,

nine people died in the company.

- Unbelievable.
- Yes, people are affected by that subject.

- And you throw a party? With nine dead?
- It's not that bad.

- We have 500 workers.
- Of course.

- It's not such a high percentage.
- All right.

There's something else.
Don't talk about infidelity.

The sales manager
had a personal problem.

- Okay.
- His wife ran away with another man,

someone in the company.
Then it's something...

- Okay.
- I don't want to cause frictions.

And another thing, I'm very religious.

I truly believe in God.

- So please, no religion.
- Fine.

Anything else, you can talk about.

Sure, I have nothing left to talk about.

Talk about whatever you want.

Talk about everything.
There's loads of things.

Talk about God, about life, about love.

Talk about Atlanta. You're hilarious
when you talk about Atlanta.

- Whatever you want.
- All right.

- Okay.
- Break a leg. I'll see you there.

- Got it.
- I'm happy to have you.

- Okay.
- See you later.

- Thanks, Jorge.
- Sure.

And the moment we've been waiting for
is here, time for a laugh!

I have the privilege of presenting
one of my favorites.

In fact, he's my favorite.

Radio show host, comedian, Atlanta fan...
Do you know how Atlanta is doing?

One-nil.

Is it still losing, one-nil?

I'm so sorry. Then we'll have
to cheer him up.

Let's give Sebastián a big hand!

Okay, thank you very much.
How are you doing?

Thanks for inviting me.

I'm proud to be
in Continental TV Sets' 20th anniversary.

Thank you all. How's it going?

All right, TV sets.

What a great invention, right?

And what gadget changed
our relationship with the TV set?

The gadget that changed our relationship
with TV sets is the remote control.

Before it came along, if we wanted
to change channels,

we had to walk
to the TV set to change channels.

Until some genius invented the remote.

A genius and a couch potato.
A lazy bum that said,

"These five feet to the TV set
are killing me."

So he invented it
and solved all our problems, right?

Huh?

Does anyone go to therapy here?

Well, I do, you know?

I've gone for ages, and I'm even
going to start going twice a week.

- Goal by Atlanta!
- Really?

No.

I'm crazy about you.

I'm crazy. The magnetism
you have with the audience.

They love you, they burst out laughing.
Besides, what I liked about it...

You send people a message

- when you do the monologue.
- No.

- You don't?
- They're jokes.

No, they're not jokes. I loved it.
You're extraordinary.

- I didn't like it.
- I'm arranging with your producer

to do it again next year.

- Okay.
- Pick the date.

- We'll see.
- Your pick, I'll throw the party.

Great. I wanted to talk about my fee.

Wait, I need to tell you
something really important.

It's about your fee.

- Yes.
- We could do it the old way.

I'll give you a check to be cashed
in 180 days, you cash it...

- I thought you'd pay me today.
- You'll collect, but in a different way.

I want to do something personal,
something special with you.

I want you to take a keepsake from me.
I've been thinking...

of giving you...

three of our TV sets.

- What?
- Hey, you love it. You like it, don't you?

- I don't get it.
- Unexpected?

Three TV sets, right now.
I have them here.

- Three TV sets?
- You don't have to wait.

Take them, with remotes and everything.

Three TV sets, top quality.

I mean, our latest TV sets.

Actually, they're two,
the other one is last year's,

though you can take it anyway.

This is how I want you to remember me,

not with the cash I could pay you.
Anyone could do that.

- You're giving me three TV sets?
- Exactly, how about that?

In fact... Let's exchange phone numbers.

- That way, we can talk.
- Why? I don't get it.

- To...
- Talk about what?

We can eat out. I don't know,
some Saturday, Sunday, maybe Monday.

- I'll give it to you later.
- Really?

I mean it, I'm thrilled you came.

I'll ask your producer for your number

so you can tell me how it went
with the TV sets.

I love you, Seba. I really do.

You don't know
how much I love and admire you.

- We'll talk later, okay?
- Great.

Come in, put them down for him.

I loved it. My belly aches
from all the laughing. I loved it.

To me, it was awful.
The worst experience in my life.

No! Don't overdo it.

Besides, there's bitter people,
people that laugh inwards.

But did you see the CEO?
Did you see his face?

He couldn't stop laughing.

That's what matters.
The dude laughed, that's it.

I hated the CEO.

- Why?
- I don't know, something about him.

I'm not sure what.

About the CEO, did they pay you properly?

- In due time?
- This event?

- Yes.
- Absolutely!

Perfect.

Three months ago, in dollars. All good.

Why? Didn't they pay you?

Yes, they did.

That's what I mean,
I'm surprised how well they paid.

Yes, working with this company is great.

And the monologue was good.

At the end, some jerk
made a joke about Atlanta.

I don't know what happened,
but it was great.

Great.

Speaking of Atlanta,

I'll go to my room
and see if they turn it around.

What's wrong?

Nothing, I'm going to my room.

Okay, I don't know.

I don't know.

I'd like to go up to the room.

I don't know.

Well, I should go now.

Hello?

Hello, can I speak with Dr. Usillo?

Haven't you heard?

No, what happened?

The doctor didn't survive the surgery.

He passed away.

Only a few minutes left
for this to be over.

The millionaires are winning one-nil.

A complicated match.

It's a daunting scenario.

Though Cherro keeps insisting.
Cherro kicks to López.

He kicks it high over his shadow
and leaves it for Segovia.

Larralde still shadowing.
Segovia insists. Segovia makes a move...

Psychologists have surgeries too.

Yes, Sebastián.

I guess you're afraid, anxious,

wanting to be somewhere else.

See you next time, Sebastián.

- ...aims at the goal. Goal!
- Goal!

Goal!

- What a goal!
- Goal!

- Goal!
- Goal, damn it! Goal!

Fuck, there you go! Goal!

Goal!

Goal! Goal!

- Goal!
- Miraculous, with one player out!

Goal!

Sebastián?

Who is it?

- Hi.
- You scared me.

- Atlanta scored, come.
- What's all this noise?

- Close the door.
- I thought something had happened to you.

No.

What a goal!

Goal by Lorefice. And it's a tie.

It's the final stretch,
when no one expected it...

Did the event go well? Is everything okay?

Yes, everything worked out fine.

- Are you okay?
- Suffering.

It's horrible.
Being a soccer fan is useless.

Oh, we had it.

- Well...
- Fuck.

It's over.

So... should I go?

Do you want me to stay?

The penalties are coming. Maybe...

- Oh, penalties?
- Yes.

Okay, then it'll take a bit longer.

I can't believe it.

- It was ours.
- But they can still win.

Give me your hand, let's do it together.

I won't watch, tell me whatever happens.

- Goal! Great, goal!
- Yes, wait.

Is he greeting someone? He's waving.

No, he's celebrating the goal.

The ball goes over the crossbar!

Unbelievable,
he kicked above the crossbar!

The penalty is unbelievable...

Go on, get it in! Score!

What a lump!

But they deserve to lose! They're lousy!

They play badly!
Your team is a lousy team!

The ball is outside... almost made it in.

Atlanta almost goes through.

An evening that is... almost happy.