Ally McBeal (1997–2002): Season 5, Episode 14 - Homecoming - full transcript

(DOORBELL RINGS]

Allyson McBeal?

-Yes.
-Sorry to trouble you.

Angela Winters with the
Heritage Egg Storage Foundation.

You were told your egg was
harvested and released.

-Yes.
-Well, we have excellent news.

Turns out it wasn't yours after all.
Your egg is still completely safe.

-What?
-Maddison is not your daughter.

These are her rightful parents.

-What?
-You called for me in your sleep.

-Oh, right.
-No, I had a bad dream.



-Again?
-Please let me sleep in your bed.

-You gotta stop doing this.
-I swear this will be my last time.

-Go right to sleep.
-Promise.

(SNORING]

I've been down this road

Homecoming

Walking the line
That's painted by pride

And I have made mistakes in my life
That ljust can 't hide

Oh, I believe I am ready
For what love has to bring

I got myself together
Now I'm ready to sing

I've been searching my soul tonight
I know there's so much more to life

Now I know I can shine the light
To fiind my way back home

Baby

DNA test?



Well, it's just, I've been. . . .

I've been having nightmares.

People come to my door
to tell me you're not my daughter.

I just. . . . Well, I can't bear it.

The storage facility may be
capable of making mistakes. . .

. . .but Bonnie, she isn't.
She's anus about stuff like that.

-I think that you mean "anal. "
-There's no question. . .

-. . .I'm your genetic daughter, okay?
-Well, how can you be so positive?

Why must I come?

-You know the file.
-Will that horrible judge be there?

-Never mind. Did you call the client?
-Yes. We'll meet him at the courtroom.

-Raymond!
-Hi!

-Hello! Claire Otoms.
-I remember.

-I can see you're well.
RICHARD: Come on, Claire.

You don't have to yank me.
That's a battery.

(DOORBELL RINGS]

-Who are you?
-I'm Al-- Wait, who are you?

My goodness! What has he done?

Ma'am, who are you talking about?

Is this 1 41 2 Dalton Lane?

-Yes?
-I'm looking for Vincent Graves.

Okay, well there's no Vincent
Grave-- Grave-- Graves!

-Oh, Vincent Graves!
-Yes. He lives here.

Well, he doesn't live here anymore.
I live here now.

Well, where's Vincent?

Oh, well, he died.

I bought the house in probate and--
May l. . .

-. . .ask you who you are?
-I'm the love of his life.

When I was in my 40s,
I started dreaming of him.

-Vincent?
-Yes.

I'd never met him in life,
only in my dreams.

Until one night, about 1 0 years ago,
I was eating in a restaurant. . .

. . .and there he was. So we did meet.
And we fell madly in love.

When I didn't hear from him, I was
worried something might be wrong.

-He had no family, you know?
-I know.

That's how I sort of got this house.

Oh, excuse me.

-Hello.
-Hey, Victor. This is--

-Helen, are you okay?
-Oh, dear God!

-Helen?
-That's. . . . It's him.

Who?

-Vincent.
-No.

This is Victor Morrison.

Ally, this is Vincent Graves.

I was painfully shy. I still am.

I had this enormous crush on
Madelyn Pruitt.

-I was in love with her.
-Senior year in high school?

Yes. And one day I found this note
in my desk. It was from her.

She described how
she had feelings for me. . .

. . .but she was much too shy
ever to express them.

We've heard the expression how
a heart can fly. Sounds clich?. . .

. . .but mine flew that day.

What did the note say?

My mistake.

It said she wanted
to go to the prom with me. . .

. . .but she didn't wanna discuss it
or acknowledge the note.

She said that she was just too
self-conscious.

She said we would meet at this
footbridge at the end of the week.

So, what happened?

Friday, I went to the footbridge,
and I waited for her.

-Did she come?
-No.

At 9:00, out jumped
my three best friends.

-Them.
RICHARD: The defendants.

It was them all along.
They wrote the letter.

-Them.
-What did you do?

I played along, laughed,
pretended that it was no big deal.

But l, of course, was devastated.

But Mr. Hookland,
this was 25 years ago.

During the last 25 years,
I have never had a successful. . .

. . .Iong-term relationship.
I sought help.

My therapist said I doom relationships
because of my inability to trust.

An inability which stems from the hurt
I suffered 25 years ago as a teenager!

(CLAIRE BLOWS HER NOSE LOUDLY]

-What am I gonna do?
-I'll deal with her.

I'm meeting Raymond Milbury,
then I have a DNA test and. . . .

-I can handle her.
-I feel like you're handling me.

-Go. I'll be fine.
-Okay, thank you. Thank you.

I'm always saying "thank you. "
I sound like my mother.

-Go.
-Thank you. Thank you.

Are you hungry?
Can I offer you anything?

You can offer me the truth.
In my dreams, this is how you looked.

Exactly how you looked.

You're Vincent Graves, aren't you?

Yes.

I don't think it's right--

-You said you were leaving.
-I was.

-Ally--
-What possible good could come--?

-I'll handle it.
-Not this way.

-She's vulnerable.
-She needs to believe.

-In what? A lost lover?
-If l--

-You don't know her.
-Can you trust me?

-No. This strikes me as reckless.
-Are you involved with her?

-I'm sorry?
-Are you and Ally together?

No, I just. . . . I'm the sitter.

We always would say how we wished
that we'd met when we were younger.

Why did he take you back in time
and not me?

Well, it's not that he
took me back, Helen. I died.

Why have you returned?

To see you.

-He's in there, but he's not happy.
-Okay. Okay.

Call Dr. Franklin and tell her that
I'm gonna be about 1 5 minutes late.

Raymond, hi. Sorry.
Things happened and. . . .

Would you like to work here?

-Huh?
-I'm offering you a job.

I'd start you at 225. You'd be
considered for partner in 3 years.

-Why would I want to work here?
-You like it here.

You'll always make money. You're
a very good lawyer. But the question. . .

. . .is whether you're having fun.

People here are your age, we socialize
after work, and you get to. . .

. . .spend time with girls in the bathroom.
Hasn't that always been a goal?

I'm late for the doctor. The offer
stands. Before saying yes or no. . .

. . .Iet me say what the job
doesn't include:

The right to be sexist, a misogynous
pig or a gender-based bigot.

-What's left?
-Here's the bottom line, Raymond:

You can find autonomy here.
At most firms you can't.

It can be the most fun job
you will ever have.

If you act like a tree trunk. . .

. . .I'll chop you down.

Think it over. Let me know.

-You've maintained the friendship?
-Oh, yes.

In fact, you were an usher
in all of their weddings.

But there's been no wedding for me.

Yes, the practical joke they played. . . .

It rendered you unable to trust the
idea that somebody could love you.

-Is that it?
-Basically.

Therapy made me realize I've always
been afraid to let myself love. . .

. . .for fear of the rug being pulled out,
the way they pulled it out!

Has your therapist, or anyone else
for that matter, ever said to you. . .

-. . . "Get over it"? It was a joke!
-Objection! Your Honor. . . .

Next, he'll sue his first-grade
playmate for a wedgie!

-Objection!
-The witness may step down.

-Complaint is dismissed.
-What?

-There's no claim.
-You can't dismiss it.

We all fell in love in high school.
We all had tricks played on us.

Ask me, he should be suing
his therapist. Case dismissed.

The results should come back
in a week.

A week? Well, this is a simple test.

Well, we can expedite it
for an additional cost.

-Well, that's what I'd like to do.
-Is there some emergency?

No. I just need to know.

Wait here a second while I change
the request form.

Thank you.

Suppose the test's negative.
I go back with Bonnie?

God, no. No.

-Then why are we doing this?
-This is for my peace of mind.

I'm making sure no one can show up
and say, "It's a mistake, give her back. "

So if the test's negative, you'll
protect yourself from loving me. . .

-. . .so you can't get hurt?
-Of course not.

Then I'll ask you again:
Why are we doing this?

Some enchanted evening
You may see a stranger

You may see a stranger
Across a crowded room

Someday you'll see her

Again and again

-Hey, Ally. How you doing?
-Hi. Hello, Helen.

Hi, dear.
Vincent was playing our song.

I see.

Could I talk to you for a second. . .

. . .Vincent?

You may think you're helping this
woman, but I believe it's wrong.

To say you're somebody who died?
She's delusional--

-Ally--
-Why are you doing this?

I made some calls.
She did have an affair with Vincent.

Fine. But why pretend you're the guy?

She's lives in a home and has dementia.

The doctors said her health spiraled
when he died.

-She didn't know he died.
-She was told.

According to doctors, it's not the
worst thing for her to think that--

That you're Vincent Graves?

-How long do you plan to keep this up?
-I don't know.

Vincent?

Please don't lie to me. Is there
something going on between you two?

No, Helen.

You look like his first wife.
Is that why you're attracted to her?

I'm not attracted to her, Helen.
I just work for her.

(DOORBELL RINGS]

-What's going on?
-She took the noon shuttle to New York.

And we took the 2:00 flight back.

You did what?

Maddie wants to go back with me.

-Why?
-She's under the impression. . .

-. . .your affection hinges on a test.
-Maddie, that's crazy.

-Why did we take it?
-I told you.

I don't believe you.

Look, Maddie.

All right, I think
we all need to talk.

Do you want something?

-Who was she?
-Who?

The girl who hurt you in high school.
Who was she?

I know scar tissue when I see it,
Richard. Who was she?

Her name was Jeri Byrd.
She was a senior. I was a junior.

First girl I ever kissed.
I thought I'd marry her.

-She was a tall, statuesque goddess.
-She sounds lovely.

Lost my virginity to her.

I couldn't wait to get back to school
that Monday to be seen with her. . .

. . .to walk with her.

By third period,
she was with somebody else.

I made up my mind never to give
any woman. . .

. . .the power to hurt me, ever again.

So there you sit.
A vision of strength.

He who refuses to be hurt by love ends
up by destroying himself, you know?

I really have to get back to work.

-So if you don't mind, l. . . .
-Of course.

I'm not defending myself anymore.
The test was about insecurity. . .

. . .my fear of losing you. I told you. I
don't believe that you don't believe me.

-Hey!
-You're a drama queen.

MADDIE: Hey!
ALLY: Hey!

-You, hey!
-You, hey!

-At least we're not tiptoeing around.
-May I ask questions?

Go ahead.

-If the DNA isn't a match, what happens?
-Nothing.

-Would you tell the egg-storage place?
-No.

-Isn't that fraud?
-Well--

-Are you dishonest?
-I am not.

Which means you'd correct the mistake
and give me up--

Don't tell me what I would do.

I'm following your actions to
the logical conclusions.

-Okay. She's a midget. She's not 1 0.
-Putdown.

-Ally.
-Hey.

-You, hey! Hey! Hey!
-No, you, hey! Hey! Hey!

Hold on.

Ally?

-Hey, Bonnie.
-Victor. Still have plumbing problems?

-Never mind.
-I'm taking Helen home.

-Who's Helen?
-His girlfriend.

-Where is she?
-Right here. Let's go, sweetheart.

Lovely! Lovely!

Horrible.

Who is it? I know you're in there,
whoever you are.

Open up. Open up, I say!

If you think I'm incapable of kicking
this wall down, you're mistaken!

Richard!

-Sorry. I didn't know.
-What's this spooky place?

This is my hole. I come here
to get away from things. Come in.

I must say it's been a while. . .

. . .since I've been welcomed
into a young man's hole.

-It's lovely.
-Just a little escape.

Why would you need to escape?
Richard, I have found her.

-Who?
-Jeri Byrd.

She lives in Beacon Hill. I talked
to her. She sounded wonderful.

-You called Jeri Byrd?
-I did more than that. I probed her.

She's divorced, but she blossomed
at the thought of meeting you again.

No. I'm not going to see her.

-Why not?
-It's 20 years ago, high school.

But we've come a long way since then,
haven't we?

-What are you trying to do?
-Richard.

She hurt you. You're still angry. Pain
doesn't decompose when you bury it.

And that is a Claire Otom-ism.

Dr. Liston said I can come
and visit whenever I want.

-And will you?
-Every day.

I knew you'd come back. The doctors
thought it was just me talking crazy.

But I had this feeling.

Why did you come back?

You say you're afraid of death.
I came back to tell you not to be.

-Really?
-Have I ever lied to you?

It's a beautiful place.
You have nothing to fear.

-Well, you're not going back just yet?
-No.

I'll be here tomorrow.

I'll admit. . .

-. . .I'm jealous of Ally.
-Don't be.

I love you.

-It's a stupid test. It means nothing.
-Problem is. . .

-. . .you have now given it meaning.
-I have not.

What if it doesn't confirm
you as the mother?

How many times must I say
it doesn't matter?

To you. What about to her?

She sought you out because
you're her genetic mother.

I know you know that. She told you.
She talked about this big hole she felt.

What if you're not her genetic mother?
The hole comes back.

What if she goes looking again?
She will.

On some level, you have to know that.
Which makes me wonder. . .

. . .is the genetic connection
important to you?

No. And that's an unfair question.

Maybe, but I'm not the
only one asking it.

There's an intuitive 1 0-year-old
who's just been told that DNA matters.

Not just to her, but to you.
Right or wrong, she thinks. . .

. . .your loving her, your wanting her,
is conditional.

-I think this is a bad idea. I--
-You trust me.

When someone mistreats you, it helps
to say, "I dislike how you treated me. "

Look! This is the address, 371 9.

She certainly made out well with that
divorce. I'd say this is lovely!

Don't you love these old brownstones?
They're lovely.

They have a Colonial feel.

Hello. I'm Claire Otoms.
This is Richard Fish.

We've come to see Jeri Byrd.
She's expecting us.

Richard?

-Do I know you?
-I'm Jeri.

Obviously, I'm a little different from
the girl you knew in high school.

-Are you shocked?
-Of course he is.

-You took his cherry, Jeri.
-Is that what you want to talk about?

Tell him. He is not happy with the
way you treated him 20 years ago. . .

. . .and it was my idea that
he tell you so.

You mean, after we slept together?

You demeaned his love
by running off with another.

It wasn't my intent. I. . . .

Obviously, I was struggling
with my own sexuality.

I'm sure he intended to say something.
Thank you.

I'd better go after him,
or I'll never catch up.

Richard? Richard?

(ROCK MUSIC PLAYS]

(TURNS UP THE VOLUME]

Okay, here's the thing about me.
I loved this guy named Billy. . .

. . .and he died. And then I loved this
guy named Larry even more. . .

. . .and he left. And one of the reasons
that he left me--

Well, one of the
biggest reasons was his son.

And his need to be in Detroit.

And the truth is,
I never really got it.

The bottom line is,
the bastard walked out on me.

But in the last month,
I can finally say that. . .

. . .okay, I get it.

I still stick pins
in my little Larry doll. . .

. . .but I get it.

-And I love you, Maddie.
-If you're so afraid of me leaving. . .

. . .then why would you do the test
that might make me leave?

All right, that's the question
Bonnie thought you would ask.

Good for her.

What's the answer?

I think that I wanted something to
hold in my hand that says you're mine.

And that nobody can take you away.

You showed up when you were
1 0 years old.

I'm not your mother.
My claim is genetic, but. . .

. . .I think that the DNA test was. . .

. . .because I wanted a guarantee. . .

. . .that you belong to me.

-I didn't know.
-How could you not know?

-What about the voice?
-What was wrong with it?

I thought it was lovely.

Look, could you just leave me alone?
Could you please do that?

I'm the victim. It's a precious
memory when a man loses his virginity.

-Do you know the tarnish on my memory?
-I was only trying to help.

And I appreciate that. But if
I could make just one small request?

Don't help.

(DOORBELL RINGS]

-Hi.
-I'm looking for Ally McBeal.

I think she's busy right now.

Here! Here I am. She's okay.

-Can I see her? I want to say goodbye.
-Of course.

I just came. . . . I didn't want
to turn down the offer over the phone.

-Oh.
-So I came to accept it in person.

Oh! Well, that's great.

-Hey.
-Busy place.

-So I'll see you at the office.
-Yes.

-You're not gonna regret this.
-I know.

And, Raymond,
don't forget to remember the rules.

-Maddie asleep?
-No. She's saying goodbye to Bonnie.

So, what brings you here?

Things seemed unsettled before,
so I just--

So you thought you'd check up on us?

I suppose.

(PHONE RINGS]

That's probably Richard. Mad at me
because I blew off the day. Hello?

MAN: Hello, is this Ally McBeal?
-Yes, this is she.

Dr. Liston here.
I have some bad news about Helen.

She had a stroke.
Should I have called Victor?

-No, I'll tell him.
-I'm so sorry.

Yeah, okay. Thank you.

That was Dr. Liston. . .

. . .and Helen had a stroke.

She passed away.

-Did you know?
-Did I know? You just told me.

No, you seemed like you knew.

I suspected it was coming, I guess.

Are you okay?

Look, I knew her less than a day.
It's not as if l--

As if you cared about her?

-How do you do that?
-What?

Care about somebody
within minutes of meeting them?

It saves time, I guess.

Well, I think maybe I should
go pay my respects, you know?

-Will you come back?
-Sure.

-Oh.
-Hi.

-Are you dating him?
-No. No. What's wrong?

This came from a medical lab.
It was marked "urgent" . . .

. . .and I kind of guessed what it was
and thought you might want it tonight.

Did you open it?

Of course not.

Well, thank you.
I'll see you tomorrow.

Aren't you gonna open it?

I'll see you tomorrow.

-What, can't you offer me a snack--?
-Elaine, please. Go.

Fine.

(THUDDING]

What's the matter?

Oh, it's, uh--

It's nothing.

Why are you crying?

Because you're my daughter.

-May I see her?
-You are. . .?

It's okay. He's family.

She asked me to give you this.

Bring it to me
Bring your sweet lovin '

Bring it on home to me

-Yeah
-Yeah

-Yeah
-Yeah

-Can you believe it? My first love.
-Look at the positive.

You've been where
no man will ever go again.

It's payback for all your homophobia.

-I don't find that supportive, Nelle.
-Hello. Can you hear me?

Hello, cats and chicks.
I'm Claire Otoms.

Tonight out there in the shadows
is a friend of mine in pain. . .

. . .in terrible pain.
He doesn't want my help.

He said,
"I'd rather die than have your help. "

But I ignored that.
Helping people is my thing.

It's my trip. It's my shtick. And
I want to help him tonight in music.

I want to sing a special song for that
friend of mine in such terrible anguish.

I don't want to just help him, I want
to help other islands out there. . .

. . .adrift.

You're nobody

Till somebody loves you

You are nobody

Till somebody cares

Help me, Elaine.

You may be the king
You may possess the world and its gold

Oh, but gold won 't bring you
Happiness

When you're growing old

Vonda!

And the world is still the same
You'll never change it

As sure as the stars shine above

You're nobody till somebody
Really, really loves you

So fiind yourself somebody
To love

-Hey.
-Hey.

So the DNA was a match.

-Congratulations.
-Yeah.

It doesn't make me a parent,
but if anybody tries to take her. . .

. . .I can, you know,
have the legal right to make noise.

I've been crying the past hour. . .

. . .so if my eyes are red,
it is not because of the wine.

Maddie asleep?

Yeah.
And Bonnie went back to New York.

South Pacifiic.

Maddie found it in the basement. It
has the song you sang to Helen on it.

Are you okay?

Ally, I just met her. It's not as if,
you know. . . .

I'm fine.

You know, I have the CD.

-Sorry?
-To South Pacifiic.

(TURNS ON MUSIC]

Listen, I think I'm gonna head out,
you know?

You know, Victor. . . .
Dance with me.

Now, you had bad news, I had
good news, and it should be shared.

-I don't really feel like--
-I know, but shut up and do it anyway.

OLD LADY:
You stinker!

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