Ally McBeal (1997–2002): Season 4, Episode 19 - In Search of Barry White - full transcript

A man wants to clone his dead wife, and nobody, even John, thinks that's a good idea, but when he finds out the opposing lawyer is Larry, John takes on the challenge. John uses Ally to try and get an advantage and Ally wagers another foot massage with Larry. But Barry White is missing and with the case falling short on merit, John is desperately going to need to find him or else he just might lose. Meanwhile, Ling keeps seeing Jackson in slow motion, and fearing that she might be in love, she throws herself at Richard.

- Hey.
- Hey, Ling.

- What are you doing?
- Washing my face. Long day.

Oh.

- I'm having your mental problem.
- Which one? I have many.

Well, whenever I...

Look. What do you see?

- Jackson.
- Nelle?

- Jackson.
- Elaine?

Oh, never mind.

- What do you see?
- I see him moving in slow motion.

ALLY: He is?
LING: Completely.



He's not really, is he?

How long has this been going on?

A few days.
And when I see Richard...

He goes fast.

Ah.

Not always. But Jackson...

- What does this mean?
- I think you're in love.

What!?

Well, how do I snap out of it?

VONDA SINGS:
I've been down this road

In Search of Barry White

Walking the line
That's painted by pride

And I have made mistakes in my life

That I just can 't hide



Oh, I believe I am ready

For what love has to bring

I got myself together

Yeah, now I'm ready to sing

I've been searching my soul tonight

I know there's so much more to life

Now I know I can shine a light

To find my way back home

Oh, baby, yeah

Oh, yeah

Mr. Stoller? John Cage.

Thank you for seeing me.

How may I help you?

My wife, Cindy, passed away
two years ago.

We'd been married three years.

She was hit by a car
on our anniversary.

Cindy and I dreamed
of having children together.

I would like to fulfill our dream.
But there are some roadblocks.

The first being she's dead.

I apologize. You are new to me...

How would you go about...?
Did she leave her eggs or embryos?

No.

It wouldn't be
Cindy's child... technically.

Technically, it's...

I would like to clone her.

- Did you hear me?
- I did.

The technology exists, but they don't
talk about it. I found a doctor...

- To clone your dead wife?
- Yes.

Scientists are already
secretly trying this, Mr. Cage.

And I had prepared
to covertly attempt it with Cindy.

I kept some of her tissue cells.
And hair.

[HUMS]

And some blood. I have DNA.
Why do you do that?

- It's... Is it legal?
- It's never been in court.

My sister-in-law has hired
a lawyer to get an injunction.

That's why I need a lawyer.
She's going in today.

Yes, but Mr. Stoller,
I must tell you...

...I'm sure your wife
was a very nice woman.

But the idea of cloning?
It's just awful.

Please.

I have nowhere else to turn.

And your firm has opposed
this lawyer before.

- Who is it?
- Larry Paul.

I am told he's quite good.

Oh, Ling. Hold on.

- Hey.
- Was that him?

It was.

How can you date a guy online?

A relationship is communication.

This works perfectly. We talk.
We laugh. He doesn't stink.

What about "it"?

- What "it"?
- Sex "it."

I know you don't like it...

...but a woman gets control
when her hand's on the dumbstick.

It's all about control with you.

- How's Jackson?
- I don't know.

- Still moving in slow motion?
- I'm over that.

Really?

And you came in here
to talk about my computer date?

I came in here
to borrow some products.

But just forget it.

- What was that?
- Beats me.

Ally! A second, please?

I got a new case.
I'm off to court now.

And Larry is opposing counsel.

He is?

I don't quite have a feel for him yet.
Any buttons I can push?

I have a little conflict of interest
there, don't you think?

I don't want to date him.
I just want the upper hand in court.

- Your duty does lie with the client.
- Yeah, but...

You didn't use a little inside
information when you opposed him?

No, but I...

Then why can't I?
It's for the client.

Just one little nugget.
My case falls deeply short on merits.

I need something.

- Okay.
- All right.

With Larry, it's all about rhythm.

He sucks me into this fast patter...

...because he figures I won't spot
what I'm about to step into.

Okay.

He's vulnerable without his rhythm.

Okay.

In Your Dreams with me,
Cindy Margolis.

Michelle Garris e-mailed
me and asked...

... for advice
on breaking into Tinseltown.

We met in Hollywood at...

[TV STOPS]

- Do my knee.
- Oh, Ling.

Just do it.

No, I won't be used!

We can't deny our passions anymore.

You want me, and I want you.

So let's just be honest.

You do my knee, and I'll give you hair.

You're pinching my spinal cord.

- What's going on?
- We're meant to be, why deny it?

- Don't like denial?
- No.

- Fan of honesty?
- Yes.

- Let's be honest then.
- Gotta go.

I went to L.A.
And hardly ever thought about you.

All you think about is Jackson.

- That isn't true.
- Hey, listen.

People accuse me of being shallow?
I can roll with it.

But I understand human behavior
when it comes to relationships.

In our last month,
you shaved your legs in the morning.

This is your treatise?

When the woman shaves
in the morning...

...instead of at night, it's over.

No exceptions.

So go to Jackson.
He's the man you lather up for.

Cloning humans
is against public policy...

It's never come before the courts.

- People are against cloning sheep...
- That can't sway the court.

- You never let me get to second...
- Sexual references. I object.

- What?
- "Second" is a sexual idiom.

I take full exception.

If I could briefly
get back to the sheep.

There is no place for that in court.
Move for verdict, forthwith.

Forthwith?

- Object to the mockery.
- You're objecting a lot.

Let's hear what Mr. Paul has to say.

Thank you. Second of all,
and forgive the vulgarity...

Mockery.

...even if you could clone her, that's
not a choice for Mr. Stoller to make.

It is too.

I anticipated a lot of case law...

...but I find myself totally
unprepared for, "It is too."

Three times he mocks me.

Move for an apology
in writing, preferably notarized.

Four times.

Mr. Cage?
Is this cloning even possible?

Yes, I could demonstrate it.

First, I want to hear from your client
and why he wants to do this.

He can take the stand at 10 tomorrow.
Then, your experts.

Your Honor, I'd also expect
to be able to call...

[NOSE WHISTLES]

Very good.
I expect to call my witness too.

You may. 10 a.m. Adjourned.

- I'm not to be tampered with.
- I can see that.

- Till tomorrow?
- Till then.

RENEE:
So are they together now?

No. Ling is in denial
that she even wants him.

- How do you feel about it?
- She can have him.

He runs as deep as an inkwell.

Which means, I suppose,
Ling might drown.

Are you really okay?

LARRY:
Hi, guys.

Well, well, well. Working late?

Yeah. As a matter of fact,
I was up against John Cage.

- Did you know that?
- How did it go?

He was odd.
I couldn't speak without him...

...objecting and jumping up
and moving for sanctions...

- You're smiling? Why are you smiling?
- No reason.

You're against smiling on principle.
What's going on?

- What's going on?
- Don't ask me.

Back to you then. What's going on?

John asked me for a few tips
on how to oppose you in court...

...so I said to break your rhythm.

Since you're useless without it.

Cute, but useless.

- You gave him advice?
- His client is my client.

- We sleep together.
- Yes.

- You go behind my back.
- No.

You're giving him tips
when you can't beat me yourself?

- Here we go.
- Whose feet?

- Once.
- You're holding yourself as an expert.

ALLY:
No, I'm not.

Does he know you could never beat me?

Excuse me?

Does John know you've never beaten me?

No, no, no. You said
I could never beat you. Didn't he?

- He did.
- You don't think I can?

Never? No. Just not...

...ever.

- You like her smile?
- Adorable.

Not only am I gonna beat you one day,
but John is gonna beat you here.

- This case? On cloning a human?
- Yes.

- As thou speaketh, my feet itcheth.
- You're on.

Excellent.

- You told him?
- Well...

- I'll lose my edge.
- No, you won't.

Now he knows
I'm trying to offset his rhythm.

He said that you could never beat him.

Not on this case or any case.

Oh, he did?

Yes.

I bet him, John. I bet on you.

He said that I could never beat him?

Yep.

Never?

Never.

- Well, we'll just see about that.
- Yes, we will.

Indeed.

Nelle? I was thinking... this online
dating thing sounds kind of cool.

I could date a man in Paris.

You can run as far away from here
as you like.

I'm not getting you online.

- Why?
- You're involved.

I am not.

How was I?

Oh. Very funny.

Larry.

Um...

What brings you here?

I'm going to court. I thought John
and I could walk together.

Okay. This is one-upmanship.
You happened by to one-up me.

To fiddle with my psyche,
and I won't be fiddled with.

I guess I'll walk alone then.
See you there.

I saw the smirk.
It was unsupportive.

Is everything okay, John?
Because you seem a little uneasy.

I am plenty easy. He just tried to
one-up me, and I don't go for that.

- Hey.
- Hey, Ling. How you doing?

Okay.

You feel like having lunch?

I would love to.

I'm booked today,
but how about tomorrow?

Well, this whole week looks
pretty lousy. Next week?

- Great.
- Okay.

- I'll have my assistant set it up.
- Excellent.

- Was there anything else?
- No.

We always talked of having kids.

I guess I just want those dreams,
mine and Cindy's, fulfilled.

But you're not talking about
having Cindy's child.

You want to clone her.

STOLLER:
That's my only option.

My only means of carrying on her
genetic legacy is cloning.

Many people, including Mr. Paul,
as he sits so dismissively...

Your Honor,
I'd like to stand dismissively.

- Mock.
- Mr. Paul, sit.

Mr. Cage, don't antagonize him.

Many people find the idea
of cloning people to be repugnant.

But I'm not some scientist
trying to perfect the species.

And I know I can't bring Cindy back.

I'm looking to give rise
to the next generation.

- Of Cindy.
STOLLER: She would want it.

And I suppose I don't want her...

...extinguished.

Thank you, sir.

- First, I sympathize with your loss.
STOLLER: Thank you.

But you are trying to replicate Cindy,
aren't you?

- I'm not about that.
- It's creating a human...

...with the exact genetic makeup
as your late wife.

LARRY: This is not like having a child.
STOLLER: I know.

She'll look the same...

Twins share the same DNA.
They're still different people.

Did Cindy ever mention
genetically engineered fruit?

Yes.

- And?
- She was against it.

- Engineered chickens?
- Against it.

But she'd be open to the idea of a
genetically engineered clone?

It's not the same thing!

Not everything
is like chicken, counsel.

- You're losing?
- I didn't say that.

- You have to win.
- He has my number.

- How?
- You tipped him off.

- Oh, John!
- I have enough pressure without you...

- What happened?
- That helps.

You've never let anybody
get your number.

You have to find out
again what makes you great!

- I know what made me great.
- What?

- Him!
- Him?

Him! Barry White.

I think maybe
Melanie just scared him off.

- What's up?
- He needs Barry White.

Tell everybody.

John, I'm sorry, man.

You have to find him.
You need him for this trial.

- How?
- I don't know how.

But remember, Larry said
you will never beat him.

Not ever.

Now you have to dig deep.

Because I am not rubbing his feet.

Now whatever it takes,
you find Barry White.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Come on.

Hey. We got it together, baby.

We really got it to... Come on!

- Nothing?
- No.

- Does Ally know?
- No. Never mind.

It doesn't help when I feel pressure.
Could you excuse me?

Sure.

Just you...

...and me.

Oh, balls.

How does this cloning work?

Oh, it's fascinating.

We harvest eggs from donors
who we inject with fertility drugs.

We then take cells from the cloning
candidate, Cindy Stoller.

Oh, here's where it gets fascinating.

The witness previously
said it was "fascinating."

It's just now fascinating?
I'm confused.

I object. Counsel is an ombudsman.

- What?
- An ombudsman.

- It's when...
- Never mind. Continue.

Gladly. Then we suck the nucleus
out of each egg with a needle.

Lots of needles in cloning.

We take the sucked-out DNA-free eggs
and place them with the donor cells.

In this case, Cindy's.
And we zap them.

What do you mean?

- We fire off a jolt, kind of like...
- A bug zapper?

- That's gross.
- I'm trying to get an idea.

You're planting the idea
that it's like killing bugs...

...and I find it gross,
even for an ombudsman.

Let's proceed.
You're both losing points with me.

What happens to the cells
after you zap them?

Well, then, it gets really...
It gets more fascinating.

When we zap the donor cells
in the DNA-free cells...

...they fuse together.

We now have new rebuilt eggs,
some of which form embryos.

We then plant them
in the surrogate mother...

...and what may result
is a cloned baby.

And you don't even need
to fertilize it with cement?

[JOHN STUTTERS]

Semen?

No, it's fascinating!

- Is it really possible?
- Of course.

It's a long shot. Most of the embryos
die off, I grant you that.

But it is entirely possible
that one will make it through.

We've already done it with sheep.
It's feasible with humans.

How far away is this?

It's here now.

Man is not waiting for science here.
Science is waiting for man.

Thank you.

Hey, Mark.

- Ling.
- Oh, drop dead.

If you need anything,
have your assistant call.

I don't see you in slow motion
anymore, you lying weasel.

I still see you in slow motion.

Some other time.

What's up?

- I'll explain over lunch. Goodbye.
- Hold on! If you want to talk...

Bygones.

- Stubble.
- Excellent.

- What is with you?
- What's with me?

I completely threw myself at you.

- Threw yourself?
- I launched myself out of a cannon.

- Where was I?
- Blowing me off.

- What?
- I asked you to lunch.

Do you know how huge that is for me?
I'm never nice.

- I gave you a gesture.
- A gesture?

I told you I was in love with you.

Anybody could share a stupid feeling.

They're unlimited.
You only get five lunches a week.

Don't stare at me like I'm crazy.
You're the one turning this down.

Please? I've asked for so little.

It comes down to closing arguments,
and I need you with me.

Together we can beat Larry.

Nobody but you and me.

[CRICKET CHIRPS]

Come on!

You're at the end of your career.
What else do you have to do?

[BARRY WHITE MUSIC PLAYS]

You're here?

You're here!

[BARRY WHITE MUSIC PLAYS]

[MUSIC STOPS]

This is why I start every day
with a bran muffin.

- He was here.
- Who?

Barry! Barry White came.

Forgive me if I don't
try to envision that.

It's my concentration.

It's not what it used to be.

I can't get him if there are
other people in the room.

Most can't dance with imaginary
disco behemoths in front of others.

I could always get him.

I could walk
down a crowded street with him.

Nobody but him and me.
Now I'm unable, damn it.

No, this is what you need to do.

Get him alone, in your hole.

Once you've got him there solid...

...step out and try keeping him there
with other people around.

I don't know if I can.

You have to.

Without Barry, what are you?
Look at that.

You can't go through life as that.
You have no choice but to find Barry.

People skills.
That's why I'm in charge.

Oh.

[ZIPS PANTS]

They'd be taking her individuality,
her DNA. Making a clone of her.

Your brother-in-law loved your sister.

I understand that.
And we all love Kevin.

But this is perverse.
This is voodoo science.

Kevin, Cindy is gone,
and no matter what...

[BUZZER BUZZES]

SOFTLY: This morning's proceedings
left me with a throat irritation.

With permission, I'd like
to buzz my objections.

He wouldn't bring her back.

As it's been said...

...identical twins share DNA,
but they're different people.

I get that. I do.

But before we take organs from
a person, they have to give consent.

And this is more invasive,
to duplicate someone's DNA.

It does go to their individuality.

[BUZZER BUZZES]

I apologize. Was that mine?

I did not mean to hit it.
It was my mistake.

Well, wouldn't you want to see
your sister's genes carried on?

It wouldn't just be her genes.
We would be making her.

It would look like her,
sound like her.

Any chance she'd be in favor?

No. She was conflicted about
genetic research to begin with.

The idea of
harvesting the baby of choice...

...eye color, height.
She found it repulsive.

She would have never
wanted this. Never.

[BUZZER BUZZES]

- Why my office?
- It's a first date.

- But you have a computer.
- I'd like a little privacy.

- Who is this?
- He's from Brazil.

This will be our first
meaningful conversation.

I've got a really good
feeling about him.

Hurry up.

- Well? Well?
- Stop with the pressure.

I'm the one
who'll have to rub his feet. So?

It all comes down to closings,
which are at 3.

Did you find Barry White?

I'm going in search of him now. When
I return, I will have the bastard.

- Any sign of him?
- Never mind.

Oh.

Can't find your office?

Well, yours is closer to court,
and my feet are a little achy.

- You need a foot rub.
- Where can I get one?

Haven't a clue.

Elaine!

One thing led to another.

- Could you stop following me?
- Is that what I'm doing?

I didn't mean to blow you off.
I thought you weren't interested.

- You were right.
- What doesn't interest me...

...is your anger. Why are you...?

Deja vu bygones.

You have been angry
ever since I came to this firm.

I'm angry because you lied to me.

And because I went to bed with you.

It's hard to walk around
peppy all the time.

It's hard to be the cheerleader.

I wonder how you do that every day.

[GROWLS]

Okay. It's obvious that we're both
a little bit ashamed of how we began.

So...

...why don't we just begin again?

You could be right.

Or wrong.

- Jackson.
- Larry.

- How are you?
- Not bad. How about you?

- Can't complain.
- Okay.

[CREAKING]

[BARRY WHITE'S "YOU'RE THE FIRST,
THE LAST, MY EVERYTHING" PLAYS]

- What are your thoughts?
- I was just gonna ask you.

JOHN AND BARRY:
We got it together, didn 't we?

We've definitely got our thing
Together, don 't we?

- He's on to something.
- Yes, he is.

Nobody but you
And me

- He's a funny little man, isn't he?
- Yes, he is.

- I can get with it.
- That there?

- It's not a problem for me. You?
- Not at all.

- Shall we?
- Let's.

It's about time.

Of course we're afraid.
It sounds like Dr. Frankenstein.

The idea of harvesting body parts?

Selecting DNA? It's horrifying.

We could have hockey teams
filled with Wayne Gretzky clones.

They might cross a pit bull
with Mike Tyson.

The possibilities.

The horror.

The nightmare. But the truth is...

...every time science is advanced,
it raises concerns...

...over the future of humanity.

We already do in vitro work,
Your Honor. We build embryos.

We manipulate genes.

Yes, cloning is a step beyond.
But we shouldn't be afraid of it.

We might be able to...

...to grow a heart for somebody
in need of a transplant. A lung.

This technology could save lives.

Now, is there a risk of abuse?

Absolutely.

Let the court step in then. But now?
There's no atrocity going on here.

My client knows the wishes
and dreams of his wife.

Dreams they had together.

Cloning will allow them to carry on
the family legacy they hoped for.

We have to be open to a science that
will allow a couple to have a child.

The question can't be
who owns her DNA, can it?

Yes. And I remind Mr. Paul...

...that a surviving spouse is free
to donate organs without consent.

I say this
in case he was gonna incorrectly...

...detour into the actual wishes
of Mrs. Stoller.

No reason to believe he would have.
He's a smart lawyer.

You never know when
to speak around here.

It's your turn now.

He's not looking to clone...

...a new heart here, or a lung,
but a human being. It's wrong.

I might not have a legal reason.
But I have an ethical compass.

As I'm sure you do.
He is trying to replicate his wife.

That's what this is.
I mean, why stop there?

He could clone his mother.
His grandfather.

His kids might get to play
in a sandbox...

...with the twin of their
great-grandmother.

Celebrities might start
selling off their DNA.

Imagine being able to parent
Barry White's identical twin brother.

[BARRY WHITE MUSIC PLAYS]

[MUSIC STOPS]

Where do we stop? When husbands
try to re-create dead wives...

...parents try
to re-create lost children...

...scientists develop ways
to create a superior human race?

The line's been crossed.

When technology begins
to take over reproduction...

...when it starts to invade...

...evolution...

...it's been crossed.

[BUZZER BUZZES]

There was a time we were appalled
by heart transplants.

The idea of a test-tube baby
was considered aberrant.

Now it's reality,
and the public accepts it.

Gene technology's in our future.
I don't have the power to stop it.

There's a movement to clone organs
to save lives, wipe out disease.

That too may become a reality.
But to clone a human being...

...to duplicate somebody's DNA,
to harvest an exact match of a person?

I agree with Mr. Paul. Everybody
has a different set of ethics.

But mine control today.
The defendant's injunction is granted.

We're adjourned.

I'm sorry.

I appreciate the effort.

- And I'm sure Cindy appreciated yours.
- Thank you.

- The day is coming.
- No doubt.

I don't want a rematch.

Only you

Can make the darkness bright

Hey.

Hey.

So do you come here often?

That's my opening line.

It's a terrible opening line.

Has it ever worked before?

How about: Would you like to dance?

Better.

- Want to go to the bar?
- Not tonight.

- Because you lost to Larry?
- It isn't that.

Truth be told, I didn't really want
to win this one. Cloning?

No, I just want to be alone tonight.

Alone with him.

You want to go for a walk with him.
Barry's back, I'm out.

- It isn't that. Do you think I'm...?
- Crazy?

Like you say, most people don't dance
with imaginary disco behemoths.

You're not crazy. The truth is,
I'm a little jealous.

To conjure something up
when the real world disappoints.

Go on. Enjoy your walk.

Hey.

Maybe the three of us could go.

- He won't come to me.
- Let's just walk.

You know, give it a try.

If he doesn't, well,
I mean, you still got me.

Well, that I do.

Yeah. Let's go.

[BARRY WHITE'S "CAN'T GET ENOUGH
OF YOUR LOVE, BABE" PLAYS]