Ally McBeal (1997–2002): Season 2, Episode 13 - Angels and Blimps - full transcript

- I thought once of becoming a doctor.
- But?

I don't like blood or death,
but mostly the outfits.

I look terrible in hospital green.
But if I knew there would be blue....

Ally.

Ling, what are you doing here?

I sent a friend flowers.
She died, so I came to take them back.

Greg, this is...

...my very good friend, Ling.

- Greg Butters.
- Hello.

I should get these in fresher water.
Hospital chlorine is poison.

Watch out! It's bad enough
you people get all the parking spots.



Her first impressions aren't good,
but they're lasting.

- I'll be back in a second. Wait here?
- Sure.

- Eric, my man.
- Doc, what's up?

- You treating the nurses okay?
- Yeah.

- Heard you had a bad night.
- I was puking. I feel a lot better--

What's the matter?

- When it's time, do you see an angel?
- Excuse me?

I see an angel.

Ally, come in.

This is a friend of mine.
Ally McBeal, this is Eric Stall.

- Hey, Eric, how are you?
- Don't you know?

- Sorry?
- So, you're not an angel?

Are you?

Well, sometimes I'm sweet.



Is it time to go?

Angels and Blimps

All set? Where's Ally?
Where's Nelle?

Ally's in love.
She met Greg at the hospital...

...probably to get a hickey
under sterile conditions.

Sorry I'm late.

- What's with the Rocky Raccoon look?
- No meetings today. I felt like it.

What do you think?

All agreed. Good. Move on.

As you know, the Biscuit and l
start trial today.

- The charge is attempted murder.
- Your point?

You have almost zero
criminal trial experience.

- Your point?
- What if you lose?

Billy, if we lose, he goes to prison.
We've lost his business anyway.

T ruth be told, I am nervous. I packed
extra jockeys in my trial bag.

But John and I are ready.
We' re a team.

Do we look like a team or not?

They let Clemens and Vaughn go.

I gave up on them winning in my
lifetime. Now, even forever looks bad.

We don't want the Red Sox
to win a World Series.

- We don't?
- No.

If they did, they wouldn't be
the Red Sox.

The Curse of the Bambino
would end...

...and we wouldn't be able to remind
people that Babe Ruth was really ours.

- Hey, Mom.
- Hi, sweetheart.

- She knows the Red Sox better than me.
- Oh, come on.

- Ally McBeal.
- Julie Stall.

- She's a lawyer. Do you know O.J.?
- No. I haven't had that pleasure, yet.

A couple of deep breaths, buddy.

If I wanted to sue somebody,
could you help me?

- Who did you have in mind?
- God. I wanna sue God.

Maybe we should plea.
Would she take manslaughter?

For that, you must kill somebody.

- I tried.
- Understood, but he survived.

The heat of passion can mitigate
murder, but not attempted murder.

Next time, finish him off.
Bygones. D.A.

- Where's Billy?
- Who needs him?

- You guys are doing this yourselves?
- That smacks of commentary, Renee.

- This case isn't fun and games.
- I'll beat you, like always.

If you think by using him,
you can set up...

...an inadequate counsel defense,
just forget it.

She's going to be in there?

As a witness. Some of those bullets
went by her head.

So, she's testifying
for the prosecution?

His dad died. Then he got leukemia.

We can't afford experimental treatment.

We asked our church to help out,
and they say they can't.

- He's angry.
- At God.

- Well, I don't think he can sue him.
- Yes, he can.

- Ling?
- That was a hard "L. " I heard it.

This is Ling Woo, a client of my firm.
Ling, this is Julie Stall.

- Hello.
- Hello.

- He's bald. Does he have cancer?
- He has leukemia.

- What's your name?
- Eric, what's yours?

Weren't you listening?
My name is Ling.

Only, with a soft "L. "
You wanna sue God?

- Can l?
- No!

- Ma'am, I'd like you to leave.
- I'm talking to the boy.

- You can sue him.
- lf he exists. Is there really a God?

Yes. Who do you think these doctors
walk around pretending to be, Moses?

But if you sue, you can't
lie around. Can you be strong?

- Yes.
- Good. There's a great law firm I use--

I wanna do it, Mom. Let's sue.

- lf you think I'll be the lawyer--
- I don't want you. You bug me.

- Of all the insensitive--
- What's wrong?

She just convinced a dying boy
that he could sue God.

- Sue God?
- I never said he'd win.

It beats being pitied,
and he needs money for treatment.

- Know how his dad died?
- Do you?

He got hit by a branch
after lightning struck a tree.

That's an act of God. So, go after the
church. House of God. I need to pee.

Where does she get these theories?

She didn't make editor of Law Review
for nothing, Georgette.

What do you mean?

Just that. She was editor
of Law Review at Cornell.

- Ling went to law school?
- That's where we met.

Ling is a lawyer?

You didn't know this?

We were in bed. We heard a noise.
Suddenly he comes crashing through.

- The defendant?
- Yes. He starts screaming at us.

I tried reasoning,
but he was out of control.

- Then I saw it.
- Saw what?

A pistol. He raised it.

- Then he was shooting at me.
- Were you wounded?

Twice. In the shoulder and the chest.
I thought I was dead for sure.

- These were his premises, correct?
- Yes.

- You were in his bed?
- Yes.

- ln his wife?
- Well--

- Making love to his wife?
- Yes.

- lntercourse. Sex.
- All right.

How long had this adulterous
affair been going on?

- About six months.
- Having adulterous sex?

- All right.
- Good sex?

He heard screaming, maybe it was her.

Withdrawn. Like you,
when you saw the pistol.

- Do you know my client well, Steve?
- l' m Rodney.

- Yes or no will do.
- I do.

Business associates for 1 1 years.
Friends, even.

What a friend.

When this man found you engaged
in adulterous acts with his wife...

- ...you knew he'd shoot you, right?
- No.

Well, he's a volatile man.

He is not. He's a gentle man.

The man I know
would never shoot someone.

He must have been outside himself,
even temporarily insane.

- That's a legal term.
- I'm a lawyer. Move for costs.

Her point is the witness has no
foundation to render a legal opinion.

That's right. He's a "lay" person.
You're a "lay" person, right, Rod?

- Objection!
- Withdrawn. Nothing further.

- I felt in a zone. Was l?
- lndeed.

- Ally. Hi.
- Eric.

I'm here about my case.

- Are you gonna be my lawyer?
- Well, sure.

I'm sorry.
He wanted to come down and....

- Basketball. Can I play?
- Sure.

I think this lawsuit
has given him some bounce.

That's great.

This is a huge request, but seeing how
this project seems to make him feel....

If there's any way....

Ling. Hi. You remember Julie?

No.

- She's Eric's mother.
- Who's Eric?

The boy who has a case against God.

- Yes. Hi.
- She asked if we could help?

Bring the case before the blond thing
who believes in unicorns.

She'll buy anything.
I think she's senile.

- Hello. Soft "L" next time, okay?
- You'll be on the team, right?

I'd love to,
but I have better things to do.

But you can't be a weakling.
You have to fight.

Are you ready to fight?
Stomp your foot hard...

...right on her foot!
See if she can feel it.

Very good. I need to shop.
I'll check back later.

I bet he was cute with hair.

She is so cool!

It's how Rodney described it.
Harvey came into the house.

He pulled out his gun,
and then he started shooting.

Mr. Wilcox testified he heard
your husband scream.

- Did you hear him say anything?
- Yes.

What did he say?

While pulling out his gun,
he said, " I'll kill you both. "

When you took wedding vows to honor
and be faithful to your husband...

- ...were you being truthful?
- Yes.

Not to probe your definition of sex
or fidelity for this proceeding...

... but while having your affair--

It's not something I planned.
It just happened.

- But does that make it right?
- No.

You deceived your husband
for six months. You lied to him.

Yes.

Did you ever make up any stories
about where you were going?

Who you were headed to see?
Ever do that?

Yes. I did the things cheating spouses
do when they don't wanna get caught.

Well, I sense some remorse.

How do you think this affair
ever happened?

It just....

- I fell in love.
- You fell in love?

I'm working on how to sue God
in the name of your church.

Or vice versa.
I'm going to consult with--

Cool Ling.

Yes. Cool Ling.

But for now, even though I understand...

...why you might be angry
at the defendant...

...what do you hope to gain
by suing him?

I wanna talk to him, and I thought
if I sue him, when I get to heaven...

...he'll say, "What's up with that? "
And then I can ask him some questions.

- What kind of questions?
- That's between me and him.

Okay.

- There is no God, is there?
- Of course there is.

Right, like Santa Claus.

You know what, Eric?

When I was two, all I did
was ask my mother for a baby sister.

And you know what?
When I was three, I got one.

- Just like you wanted?
- Well, no.

At first, she just cried and slept.
I couldn't even play with her.

But when she was two,
she became so much fun.

And when she was four, she could do
almost everything I could do.

And we became best friends.

At the movies, we held hands
because we thought fear...

...came in through your fingers.

- That's pretty dumb.
- I know.

And when she was five, she got sick.

And she died.

What of?

It doesn't really matter. But l
stopped believing in God that day.

My parents said, " He's real. "
But I didn't believe them.

Then one day, it was in the fall,
I looked up into the sky...

...and I saw something
I'd never seen before.

- What?
- A blimp.

I didn't know what it was
and my mother told me...

- ...that it was God.
- A blimp?

She wanted me to believe
and she thought if I saw him--

You thought a blimp was God?

- Were you a really stupid kid?
- Maybe.

Anyway, my mother knew that
I'd figure out that he wasn't a blimp.

She changed the story and told me
God had men make blimps...

...to remind people he was watching,
because that's all blimps do.

They just look down.
And to this day, I wonder a little.

Maybe God had men make blimps
to remind people that he was up there.

Well, I've never seen a blimp,
except on TV.

Well, God probably communicates with
different people in different ways.

Maybe he sent a blimp to me,
but for you...

...maybe the Red Sox will win
the World Series.

Just to remind you
that he's up there, looking.

Or maybe he sent you.

- Me?
- Well, you are a lawyer.

I don't practice.
Practice causes wrinkles. Look at you.

You came up with the brilliant idea.
You got the boy souped up on it.

For whatever reason,
he lights up around you.

T ake a day out of your busy schedule.
I'm sure you can catch up by catalog.

I've got the church's lawyer coming in,
but I don't think I can sell...

...this lawsuit like you can.

Please?

Okay. I'll come out of retirement
for one case.

Members of the jury.

I examined him for three hours.

- Your findings?
- He was in a state of agitation.

- lt didn't escalate to insanity.
- Are you sure?

He knew the nature and quality
of his act when he pulled the trigger.

Thank you, Dr. Burns.

So, you admit there was quality
to my client's act?

- Excuse me?
- lt was a quality act, in your opinion.

- By quality--
- You also said nature.

Nature played a part too.

A man finds his wife with another man,
nature says take action, right?

It was natural what he did,
even if he was insane when he did it.

Insane, but natural.
Isn't that what we' re talking about?

- Objection!
- Mr. Fish.

The way this goes: You ask questions,
and appear drug-free while doing so.

Funny. I like a judge with wit.

My brother lives by his wits.

Adrenaline can be like a drug.
Can adrenaline work as a drug?

- Yes, but--
- As a doctor, have you ever been....

- How do I say this? Wrong?
- Wrong?

Yes, have you ever been wrong?

- Yes. But I'm not wrong here.
- You're a doctor who's been wrong?

- I am not wrong here.
- But you've been wrong, yes or no?

I already said yes.
I have been wrong on occasion.

And on the occasions when you've been
wrong, did you know it at the time?

No.

- How can I take this seriously?
- Lawsuits are serious, Mr. Gale.

Where's Ling?

You're filing suit against God.
And St. Christopher's as God's agent.

- Yes. That's what we're about to do.
- Hello.

Ling. This is Arthur Gale.

He's a little appalled at our lawsuit,
and he wants to know....

How do you expect anyone
to take it seriously?

Want to know how I'll keep it from
getting tossed, or why you'll settle?

- Start with the first one.
- Eric's parents gave to the church.

There was no contract, but we could
argue that the church give back...

...in good faith.
He has cancer, his father's dead.

- You--
- I expect it to survive a 1 2(b)(6).

As for why you'll settle,
you already know.

By naming God as a defendant, every
newspaper will glom onto the story.

And with a text detailing how the
church won't help pay for the drug...

...that could save his life....
It makes my veins crimp.

Come on, Mr. Gale.

You'll pay because it would be
less than the salary of a publicist.

Which you'd need for the negative
publicity. Somebody ate onions.

Was it you?

You expect us to roll over
because God is a defendant?

And my client's bald with a big smile.
And his family gave to your church.

The moral thing would be to give back.
It's not that much money.

And we all know how you
churches stash it. Smile.

Okay. It's just a medium smile,
but the head is bald.

When I saw them, my life
flashed in front of me.

My wife, one of my best friends.

Can you tell us what went through
your head, besides, "Shoot them"?

My head felt hot.

I went into this rage.
I grabbed my gun out of the drawer.

I don't remember much else.

Harvey, truthfully,
do you wish you had killed them?

Of course not.
I thank God I didn't.

But certainly you could understand
how this jury might want them dead.

- Objection.
- Sustained. Mr. Fish--

My point is, when you fired that gun
you were temporarily insane, right?

- Objection.
- Mr. Fish.

Could I take over for co-counsel?
I feel he's being driven wayward.

Go right ahead.

Mr. Kent, do you still love your wife?

Very much.

In your adult life have you
ever loved anybody else?

No.

Think you ever will?

No.

- lt looks a little goofy.
- Really? Older guys go for it.

- See that guy? Looks like a Ken doll?
- Yeah.

He likes it. But it bugs Barbie.

What is the matter?

The church is settling
our suit against God.

- What?
- Yeah!

Eric, Julie, come on in.

- ls Ling still there?
- Yeah.

Greg will call the oncologist,
and we'll get moving.

- I can't believe it.
- I can't either.

I'm still not sure I believe in God.
But I do believe in angels.

That's a start.

When I first saw you,
I knew you were my angel.

- You did?
- Yeah.

But now I know it's Ling.

Well, between the two of us,
you're covered.

- It's incredible.
- How soon can you get the drug?

I think I can get it
in a day or two.

- Thank you.
- Thank Ling. She's an angel.

- Can this drug save his life?
- I don't know.

It's like a smart bomb. Targets
the leukemia cells. It could work.

Fingers crossed.

Know what I'm thinking
this very second?

Maybe what I'm thinking?

You know, one of my New Year's
resolutions...

...Iess fantasy, more reality.

When I was 1 7 years old,
I was leaving school...

...and I saw Sharon Johnson
by the bike rack.

She was the most beautiful girl
in my class.

I had a crush on her. The only thing
I'd ever said to her was "oops"...

...when I dropped
a snow cone on her foot.

But then something almost insane
came over me. I thought to myself:

"Ask her to the prom. "

I knew she must already have a date,
but just the high of asking her...

...the idea of saying anything to her,
besides "oops. "

I did ask her.
And then she said, "Yes, I'd love to. "

And right then, on that day,
April 4, 1 977...

...I knew that love could produce
mind-altering chemicals.

I felt like I was floating.

For three weeks, as I walked around...

...as Sharon Johnson's prom date,
I did float.

Humorous things seemed funnier.

Joyous things seemed more joyful.
Sad things were more sad.

I literally felt different.
So powerful the drug of love can be.

And from everything I read,
it was just puppy love.

Imagine committing your life
to somebody. Your heart.

And then walking into that room
to see....

Well, we can't really imagine it,
can we? Unless you've been through it.

And if you have, imagine not
experiencing a little insanity.

It was wrong for Mr. Kent to pick up
that gun. But inside that moment...

...when he walked in,
as Mr. Wilcox testified...

...Harvey Kent went outside of himself.

Sheila Kent knows it,
as, I suspect, do you all.

A gentle, law-abiding man
committed an insane act.

Now, what other explanation
can there be?

That he, himself, was insane.

Love can cause you to do destructive
things sometimes, believe me.

Or, believe Sheila.

If I might add, we--

You gotta be kidding.

Sticks and stones may break my bones,
but touch my heart, I'll shoot you?

Legal insanity isn't rage,
anger or shock.

It is the inability to distinguish
right from wrong.

When Harvey Kent picked up
that pistol, he knew it was wrong.

Just like he knows it now.
Just like his lawyers know it.

And just like you know it.

He shot a gun.

He tried to kill a man.
Their defense is "achy breaky heart"?

Please.

Ally McBeal's office, Elaine Vassal
speaking. How may I improve your day?

What?

No, but I can page her.

Yes, okay.

- ls everything okay?
- No.

Hey.

Julie. What?

I tried to wake him, but I could
barely get him to open his eyes.

I thought he was just tired, but....

It isn't good.

Oh, my God, no.

His T-cell count
dropped off the chart.

He's not in any real discomfort,
other than fatigue.

Are you telling me he's dying?

Yes.

But he's supposed to get the drugs.
He's gonna get the new treatment.

- What happened?
- I don't know.

Is he awake?

Yeah. You can go in.
He's groggy, but....

Does he know?

I believe he does.

He'd like to see you both.

Hey, Eric.

- You're tired, huh?
- Yeah.

Scared.

When it's time to go...

...you see your angel.

That's what they say.

Who's "they"? My grandfather
was in the proverb business.

It's all a racket to sell
cheap cookies.

The way you talk to me...

...I never feel like I have cancer.

But I do.

- Where did Ally go?
- I'm right here.

I had a dream...

...that I was your angel.

Well, I think you are, Eric.

I'm sure you are.

But you're maybe gonna need
to get a new one.

No, thank you. I am sticking with
the angel I have.

Mommy?

- Mommy?
- Hey, baby, I'm right here.

Where am l?

You're in the hospital. With me.
And your friends.

Can you sing me my song?

- I think I need it.
- Yes, baby.

Close your eyes.

Mommy will sing.

They're looking over.
Isn't that a good sign?

Not when they're staring.

Will the defendant please rise?

Have you reached a verdict?

- We have.
- What say you?

In matter of the Commonwealth vs.
Harvey Kent...

...on the charge of attempted murder...

...we find the defendant, Harvey Kent...

... not guilty by reason
of temporary insanity.

Thank you. The court is dismissed.

Thank you. Thank you so much.

You know, I'm sorry that....

I never shot at you.

I know, Harvey.

I'm sorry for what I did.

You and him...

...you're still together.

Yeah.

Again, I'm sorry for....

He's gone.

I don't know what to--

He lived, right up to the end,
in part because of you two.

These last two days....

I don't know how to express
how grateful I am.

He was right about one thing:
There's no God.

There couldn't be a God.
God wouldn't let that....

We knew he was dying.
This isn't the biggest shock.

The boy had leukemia.

Get over it.

Ally?

- Ally.
- Oh, hey.

- I'm sorry.
- Yeah.

Just one of those days, I guess.

- Anything I can do?
- I wish there was.

Why don't you come on down to the bar?

I don't think the bar's
gonna do it for me tonight.

You know, personally...

...I should be feeling lucky
right now.

He was dying. He was gonna die,
probably no matter--

And by a stroke of good luck for me...

...I got to meet him first.

Not everybody gets to go face to face
with their angel, you know?

Yeah.

Walk you home?

No, thanks.

I' m gonna go solo.

Okay.

You hear from Ling?

I called her.
She had to do something.

Is she okay?

I think. I don't know.
I'll try her again.

You stinker!

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