Ally McBeal (1997–2002): Season 1, Episode 22 - Alone Again - full transcript

Criminals frighten me. You?
They make me break out.

M-My face... My face breaks out. We
haven't come here to discuss breakouts.

Mr. Cage, Michael
Huttle. Thanks for coming.

My associate, Ally McBeal. Hi.

Hi. We don't really specialize
in criminal law, Mr. Huttle.

I realize this, but this case isn't going
to come down to straight criminal law.

- We need something unorthodox.
- Wh-What did he do?

Eighteen years ago, he robbed a
bank. And they just caught him now?

No. He's been in
prison this last 18 years.

Did he, like, shoot everybody and leave
them all bullet-ridden on the bank floor...

with, like, blood everywhere?



Well... [Stammers]
Well, we need the facts.

No. He didn't shoot
anybody. He served all

of his time... Leastwise,
almost all of it.

A month prior to his release, he tried
to escape. He faces charges on that.

He served 18 years and tried
to escape with a month to go?

How stupid is that? [Scoffs]

Why do you want us? If he's
convicted of trying to escape,

and I can't see why he wouldn't
be... he did make it over the wall...

He'll get hit with the remaining
12 years of his sentence.

He's 72 years old. He'll die in
prison. What do you want us to do?

Whatever it is you do that
makes juries disregard the law.

Uh... Uh... I'm sorry?

Well, pinch your
nose. Get it to whistle.

Take a moment.
Make your feet squeak.



My client needs somebody to pull a rabbit
out of a hat. Now, I'm told you can do it.

Say it with me. [Both] Troubled.

On the day of the trial they want
the Biscuit to take over the case?

On the very day of the trial?
Evidently, they have no defense.

And they figure, who better to go
in with nothing than John Cage?

Ally's with him. They're at the
prison now. And the trial starts at 2:00.

Georgia. Uh, Marcia
Halliday... New client. 10:00.

Wants to sue her ex-fiancé
for emotional distress.

Will you meet with her? Knew you
would. Thanks. What did the ex-fiancé do?

Stiffed her at the altar.
Her scorn is our profit.

If she's ugly, say
yes. Wait, wait, wait!

If she's ugly, say yes? Right.

And if she's not ugly? Don't
take the case. Duty to mitigate.

If she's pretty, she can find
someone else to marry her.

If she's a dog, there's more
money in it. Use your discretion.

No points for personality.

[Scoffs]

♪ I've been down this road ♪

♪ Walkin' the line
that's painted by pride ♪

♪ And I have made
mistakes in my life ♪

♪ That I just can't hide ♪

♪ Oh, I believe I am ready ♪

♪ For what love has
to bring Yeah, yeah ♪

♪ I got myself together ♪

♪ Now I'm ready to sing ♪

♪ I've been searching
my soul tonight ♪

♪ I know there's so
much more to life ♪

♪ Now I know I
can shine a light ♪

♪ To find my way back home ♪

♪ Oh ♪

♪ Baby, yeah ♪

♪ Oh, yeah ♪♪

I know it was stupid.
A month left in my term.

Why did you try to escape?

Are you making fun of me?

Excuse me? You're blinking.

I know I blink.

You don't have to
remind me that I blink.

I blink too.

- Does he?
- Um, um... Does... Yes.

I just blink more when...
It's a little Tourette's-ian.

Uh, I pick up on the body movements
of others, and unconsciously I... But...

When I'm in trial with Ally, my
hands swish. It's non-intentional.

- He's very peculiar.
- Yeah.

♪♪ [Humming, Stammering] Poughkeep...
Poughkeep... Poughkeep... Poughkeep...

- Just New York.
- He does this in court too.

But I think it's on
purpose. Is it on purpose?

No.

He used to have a
stutter, but he corrected it.

Or I should say he controlled it
with a song... ♪♪ [Humming]

And then he picked "Poughkeepsie"
to preempt the... ♪♪ [Humming]

But, you know,
Poughkeepsie is actually a

town in Upstate New
York, so he seized upon...

"New York" instead of "Poughkeepsie"
because it's phonetically less jarring.

Now, he is an excellent,
excellent lawyer.

He's just nervous around,
um, criminals. Right, John?

Mets. [Elevator Bell Dings]

Duress? That's
all I can think of.

He had no choice but
to jump over the wall?

Based on what he told me,

I'd prefer you not
being at the table.

What? Why? We need
to appear the underdog.

Three lawyers is too many, especially
given your... considerable girth.

Look. I know the facts. Of
course I'm gonna be at the table.

John? John?

It is you! Hayley!

I'm the D.A. on
the Robbins case.

I just saw the appearance filed
John Cage. I can't believe it! My God!

How are you? Well,
I'm a little pressed for air.

I just got transferred back
here from North Hampton.

- Hi. Hayley Chisolm.
- Hi. Ally McBeal.

Hayley and I were
classmates in law school.

Are you
first-chairing? Uh, I am.

I don't believe it!
[Giggles] [Chuckles]

We had this thing we'd do. When
we got excited, we'd do this little hop.

Remember, when we walked
into our torts final, we did the hop?

Mmm.

Huh? Oh, he's very funny.
Do you know how funny he is?

- I've seen some hints.
- Oh, my little Biscuit.

Oh, this'll be such
a treat. [Sighs]

Old friends, huh?

Okay. I know you're hurt.

The question you really
have to ask yourself...

Will suing him make me feel
better? Will suing him make you...

feel better? He didn't
just break up with me.

He left me at the altar.

The minister, the
300-plus guests,

the flower girls, the bridesmaids,
my mother... all there.

It's not legal to sever a
man's penis. I know this.

I actually hired a lawyer to
look it up. Here's the problem.

Courts don't like emotional distress
claims when it comes to love lives.

Especially marriages. They basically
think you're trying to find blame,

which defeats the
purpose of no-fault.

I understand. But
I would just think...

if you could get the
judge to see the lawsuit...

as an alternative to castration,
he might look more favorably on it.

I see. Can I be candid
with you, Georgia?

And so far you haven't been?

In addition to losing the love of
my life, I was utterly humiliated.

300 people in that church looked at
me with one common feeling... pity.

Maybe I should
just get counseling.

No. No. Mm-mmm.

Counseling won't help you.

Your instincts are right,
Marcia. May I call you Marcia?

I guess, but my name is Mary.

Huh. In every person's
life, there comes a time...

when you have to go
forth and be vicious.

[Exhales] This man...

I'm sure he's a good man at
heart... maybe even a kind man.

But he needs to suffer.

He was building a chest
in shop class. This I knew.

A chest? Yeah, a hope chest.

He said it was for
his granddaughter.

Except it was wide. It
was huge and square.

Hmm. And how did
he get it out in the yard?

This I don't know. He
must have had help.

Tell us exactly what you saw.

Well, it was nighttime, and I was
in the tower, and I looked over,

and I saw him jumping on it.

It was a trampoline. He'd made
himself some kind of trampoline.

And he was jumping
higher and higher.

- And then what?
- And then I yelled,
but he kept on jumping.

And that's when I suddenly
realized what was going on.

And then up he went,
right over the wall.

- And then what?
- Then we went out
and retrieved him.

He wasn't going anywhere.
He sprained his ankles.

Thank you, sir.

[Clears Throat] My name is
John Cage, sir. How do you do?

I'm fine. Splendid.
Nothing further.

[Spectators Murmuring]

Ah, boy, you really
got me there, John.

I had no idea you'd actually
tell the witness your name.

Hayley, what is the point
of this? He served his term.

Well, it's not up to me. Prison escapes.
Office policy. We have to come down hard.

- Twelve years?
- Sorry.

- You look great.
- Well, thank you. Um...

Uh, how is, uh, Fred?

Ah, divorced. You know. It's
hard working and... You married?

No. Anybody?

I, uh... No.

Know what, John? Best relationship
I ever had with a man was you.

There's something to be
said for platonic friendships.

They don't disappoint. Yeah.

Hey. [Giggles] Any luck? Hi.

Uh, office policy. Prison escapes,
you know. I'll promise not to do my best.

Does she know? Know what?

That you were in love with
her. I wasn't in love with her, Ally.

Mm-hmm. You think
she knows? I... Uh... Uh...

Poughkeep... Poughkeep...
Uh, uh... Giuliani.

Ms. Halliday, I'm Elaine Vassal.
Perhaps you've heard of me. Not really.

I'm surprised.

Anyway,

I want you to know I share
your pangs of loneliness.

And I thought, well...

I have invented a husband
CD. It can bring a lot of relief.

A husband CD? All the
sounds of a spousal relationship.

You can carry it in your pocket.

Track one... Your husband opening the
car door for you like a perfect gentleman.

[Car Door Opens,
Closes] [Bell Dings]

Him sleeping next to you.

[Snoring]

Tracks three through six... Normal
husband sounds heard around the house.

[Toilet Flushing]

[Crowd Cheering]
♪♪ [Organ: "Charge"]

[Farting]

Some of it's coarse,
but it is a marriage.

Hmm.

From the day I got there, the only thing
I could do is think about getting out.

Of prison. I would just
collect rubber bands.

When I got my hands
on some, I'd hoard 'em.

Rubber bands.

Sometimes there would be one
around some papers I got from the library,

or a fellow prisoner
would slip me one.

Visitors could smuggle in
a whole handful. [Chuckles]

I bribed one inmate with
braces to give me all he had.

Every day I'd collect rubber bands
and dream about a trampoline.

I could just see myself
going over that wall.

You know, building that box
in the shop... That was easy.

But collecting
those rubber bands...

It took me 18
years to get enough.

How did you keep them a secret?

As I was knitting them together, I was
also knitting an afghan to conceal them.

And finally I finished.

I had a blanket of rubber bands to
put on that chest to make a trampoline.

- When did you finish?
- January.

- A month prior
to your release date?
- Yes.

Mr. Robbins, I have to ask the
question that's on everybody's mind.

Or, actually, I don't, do I?

Why?

That's what I said.
Only a month to go.

What good does it do? Forget it!

I did.

Then suddenly... part
of me just went dead.

Eighteen years of
planning toward something,

wondering whether
you can actually do it.

When I went out that
night, I said to myself,

"Just see. You don't
actually have to go over.

But just see."

And I kept going up.

I felt like I... I was
flying. [Chuckles]

But I couldn't know. I...

I had to try to go over.

Now, I knew it would be stupid,
but I thought I had wings, and...

My moment was here.

Eighteen years.

And the next thing I knew, I
was going over the top. [Chuckles]

I landed with a huge thud.

And I just lay there.

I thought I'd broken
every bone in my body.

But in my mind,

I've never been more free.

I was free forever.

[Sniffling] Oh! This is one of
the reasons why I get transferred.

I just keep crying when I
hear the defendant's story.

A D.A. shouldn't do this.

Last year I was in juvie.

This boy burned
down a neighborhood.

He talked about
his abusive parents.

On cross, I offered
to adopt him.

- Hayley, look at me.
- Hmm?

- Please.
- Oh, all right.

She likes to lull defense
attorneys with false sympathy.

Then, in summations, she laments
the demise of the death penalty.

I forget who I'm up against.
He knows all my secrets.

- Do you know all of his?
- Uh, uh, uh... Knickerbockers.

What? Nothing.

- Well...
- [Whirring]

I don't have any
rebuttal witnesses,

so I'll cross your guy,
then I'm ready to close.

[Whirring]

- Ready?
- All set.

Hey, Hayley, a bunch of us are
going out to eat tonight from work.

Why don't you come with
us? No talking about the case.

Oh, I'd love to, but I'm
in Lamaze class tonight.

I'm trying to take it seriously.
You know, it's important.

[Stammering]
You're, um, pregnant?

Oh, Lord, no. But
one day I hope to be.

And when I am, who's
got time to hang around

with a bunch of fat
cows trying to breathe?

Oh. [Laughs] Well, well,
come on. Come with us.

Well, maybe I could
blow off one class.

We're going to attach his house? Just
in case he becomes judgment-proof.

We don't want to wind up with
an empty bag. Neither did he.

Kidding. Bygones. Off we go.

By going for a real estate attachment,
we can get an automatic hearing.

You've got another hour. The
motion's scheduled for 10:00.

You think the judge will
actually put a lien... Probably not.

We'd have to show
likelihood of victory on

the merits. Our
claim's a little out there.

But this will do is
kick-start the war.

In a way, it'll make
you feel married to him.

You know, I'm beginning
to have second thoughts.

Never trust second thoughts.
Where there's two, there's three.

You'll end up thinking
forever. Only think about this:

You were about to take
wedding vows with this man.

"Death us do part." You
parted. What's holding up death?

- Huh? All right.
- [Elevator Bell Dings]

Why did you do
that? I had a feeling.

Well, well, I-I should
say that you had a feeling,

but I am the kind of
person who acts on

feelings, even if they're
not my own. Ally...

She hops. She has
a briefcase remote.

She takes Lamaze.

And-And
she's-she's-she's... Say it.

A little kooky.

- You never went out?
- No.

And you never, um, asked her out
in any other way than a pluton way?

Platonic?

I did once. Well, what happened?

- Well...
- What?

First, how did you... How did
you... Could... How could you tell?

[Chuckles] Well, just like you
can tell when I'm seeing something,

I can tell what's
going on with you.

A while ago... I think this was at the
Christmas party... you said I was odd.

But like it was a-a
special thing to be.

It is. S-S-Sometimes.

Well, most people look at me like
I'm odd-strange, not odd-special.

You were the first
person since Hayley to...

She got me. She really did.

I've never laughed with anybody
so... So why didn't you ever...

I was afraid that
I would spoil it.

I mean, that's not some
bell you get to un-ring.

And I did ask... one week
before the graduation.

And? I tried to guise
it as sort of a joke.

I mean, half serious, half joke.

That way, if she wasn't
interested, I could lay it off to... as...

No, I told her what a
great friendship it was,

and how I thought maybe
that we should be a couple.

Unfortunately, she thought
that was my best joke yet.

[Groans] And she never knew that
you weren't joking? I don't think so.

Well, well, then, John, you
never really took a chance.

I opened the door. The door
came back to strike me in the nose.

- Even so, you-you-you...
- Well, she met the love of her life.

And she got married.
And now she's divorced.

John, I'm, um,

pretty much over Billy 99.60%.

But there will come a day
when I will be totally over him.

But you know what
I will never get over?

Greg? Glenn? No. No, no.

The-The idea that
when Billy left, I...

I just let him.

So what that my
heart got crushed?

I-I just protected
my ego at all cost.

Well, well, that was me...

at my most... foolish.

And I have set records
in... in that department.

[Sighs]

If your feelings are
a fraction of what...

my...

Oh, John, you've got to
take a chance. You have to.

You are actually gonna bill the client
for this little exercise in futility?

We'll know soon enough
if we're gonna get kicked.

What concerns me here, Georgia,
is your outlook. My outlook?

Yes. Instead of saying, "Nobody's
ever won this kind of case,"

you could have said, "Nobody's
ever won this kind of case."

There's joy in being a pioneer,
blazing a trail. Give me your shoe.

No. [Bailiff] All rise.

Your problem is you keep harping on merits.
Things don't turn on merits, Georgia.

This is a court of law. Things turn
on juries. Things turn on judges.

[Bailiff] The Honorable
Judge Cone presiding.

And occasionally
things turn on me.

[Georgia] Perhaps you
should recuse yourself.

Why? Yes, why? Why?

You want me to say
the reason in open court?

The fact that I had
alleged sexual relations...

with your co-counsel
doesn't render me impartial.

Truth be told, it was so
unremarkable, I can barely remember it.

I'm not one to hang on
to trivia. [Georgia] Ah.

- I'm glad you have no bias.
- May I speak, Your Honor?

Given the lunacy of this case, I
fully expected you to do the speaking.

Yes. Excellent. Verbal spankings
leave me wanting for more.

But let's address the merits of
the case. This case has no merits.

Courts don't step in to protect jilted
brides. Courts don't legislate love.

The whole point behind
no-fault divorce is so

the courts don't get
involved in finger-pointing.

They teach that second year of law
school. Did you make it that far, counsel?

Actually, I did, Your Honor,
and one of the perks...

of sleeping with judges is you
get to see how the law really works.

As for the idea
that courts never get

involved in love or
marriage, that's nonsense.

I'll give you the benefit of the
doubt and assume you've spent...

- too much time up close
to a hair dryer.
- Hey!

Let's just sort of spit
out the legal arguments,

then we can turn to
spitting on each other.

I'll see counsel in
chambers. We'll do it there.

[Door Closes] Pro
forma. Very common.

You were convicted of
robbing a bank 18 years ago.

- Is that right, Mr. Robbins?
- Yes.

- Did you use a weapon
while robbing that bank?
- Yes.

And, Mr. Robbins, when you took
your little trampoline out to the yard,

you did so with the intent to
escape, didn't you? Objection.

"Intent" is a legal term. She's
trying to trick the witness into...

saying he intended something, when all
he felt was a compulsion to clear the wall.

- He had no control.
- Objection. He's testifying.

I object to the trickery... He coached the
witness on how to answer the question.

- That is outrageous.
- All right.

[Both] Unacceptable.

[Clears Throat]

I knew when you got up,
you were gonna start testifying.

He did that in mock trials. And you
had to bring up weapons, didn't you?

Loves guns. Hey, you know
what I'm gonna do next?

I'm gonna tell your
client my name!

Very funny. Hayley.
Yeah, that'll get him.

Neither of us want that
man to die in jail, do we?

If you believe he should
get 12, that's one thing.

But office policy?
That's not you.

I'll give you four.
It's the best I can do.

Thanks.

I can't believe we said
"unacceptable" at the exact same time!

- Exact.
- [Both Laughing]

Don't get me wrong. I'm
tickled by your position.

It's just perhaps there
is some bias here.

My bias is against the
legitimacy of the suit.

Though I have to admit the one
bringing it doesn't add to its credibility.

- Whipper.
- Judge Cone.

Judge Cone... Your Honor...
courts delve into marriage all the time.

They enforce the
prenups, alimony...

A jilted bride sues a man for not
showing up... It's different. I know.

But let's not start off with the premise
that courts don't get involved. They do.

And when it comes
to child support,

the courts are perfectly willing
to entertain finger-pointing.

We are talking about
something way different here.

Yes, it's different,
but they get in there.

There may be presumptions as to when they
stay hands off, but there are no rules.

It comes down to fairness.
Fairness started palimony suits.

Fairness gave rights to same-sex
unions. It comes down to the case.

And in this case, my client,
who paid for the wedding,

was hung out like a wet "binky"
on the steps of the church.

Fairness doesn't say "look the other
way." The duty of a court... a judge...

Is to see wrong
and try to right it.

That doesn't change when you've
had sex with one of the lawyers!

Under that robe, besides a
phenomenal body, is a good judge.

Behave like one.

[Door Opens, Closes]

Four years is... That
is the best we can do.

- I think we have to
consider it, Vincent.
- No.

If we lose, we...

We... ♪♪ [Humming]

Mr. Cage, I don't expect
you to understand this,

but going over that wall...

was the first thing in my life I
ever truly followed through with.

You followed through
with robbing the bank.

To tell the truth, I went along
with the robbery, but I hardly...

I had to go over that wall.

For once in my life, I...

You know, it was fun
taking that chance.

I think it's time I
took another one.

♪♪ [Blues]

[Crowd Cheering]

[Vonda] ♪ Yes, it's me
and I'm in love again ♪

♪ Had no lovin' since
you know when ♪

♪ You know I love
you Yes, I do ♪

♪ And I'm savin' all
my lovin' just for you ♪

♪♪ [Continues] Richard
Fish? Our Richard Fish?

According to Georgia, he was good.
He actually made effective arguments.

- Maybe he really is a lawyer.
- [Laughs] Where is he anyway?

They're upstairs in a settlement
conference, trying to squeeze something...

- while there's still a chance.
- Will-Will you look at them?

♪♪ [Continues] [Ally Laughs]

Have you ever seen
him look so happy?

Maybe it's his smile therapy.

No. That's...

[With Vonda] ♪ Baby, don't
you let your dog bite me ♪

He's really smiling. There
is happiness on that floor.

♪♪ [Continues]

[No Audible Dialogue]

♪♪ [Fades]

How many times
do I have to say this?

You assume I'm
listening. "Money."

I hear that word. "Money."
Let's speak in numbers.

We will pay restitution on the
wedding costs. But emotional distress...

- Look, Mr. Pullman. May I call you Dick?
- My name is George.

Here's the point I keep trying to
make. Technically, you're right.

Our case stinks. But
why apply reason or logic?

I suppose it's a habit.

[Richard] Take marriage
itself. Is it logical?

People aren't even evolved fully
as individuals in their 20s and 30s,

and this is the time they choose to
partner up with compatible soul mates.

Science alone tells you
physical attraction can't last.

A person would never
even buy a car if he were

told he had to drive
it the rest of his life.

Marriage, like law, offers the
illusion of wonderful ideology,

but in the end,
stripped down... money.

- Give it to us.
- [Knocking]

Could I interrupt?

I didn't recuse myself because I
thought the claim was baseless.

Any bias I might have
would be irrelevant.

But as I sat down and
considered some of the

atrocities spewing
from plaintiff's counsel,

I am forced to admit...

the courts are all over
the institution of marriage.

And tort law does seem to be
expanding into broken hearts.

Inasmuch as the
claim may be colorable,

I do hereby recuse myself.

[Vonda] ♪ You made me cry ♪

♪ When you said good-bye ♪

♪ Ain't that a shame ♪

♪ Ain't that Ain't that a shame
♪ ♪ My tears fell like rain ♪

♪ My tears fell like rain ♪

♪ Ain't that a shame ♪ ♪
Ain't that Ain't that a shame ♪

♪ You're the one to blame ♪
♪ You're the one ♪

I could... I could, uh, see you
home. We could share a cab.

Nope. I get in a cab, I start
thinking about my closing.

I don't need you
there reading my mind.

John, why did we stop talking?

Remember school? We used
to talk every single day for hours.

Did you hate my husband?

What? No!

Well, it's just after
I got married...

Well, I just assumed you just
didn't like him or something.

Uh... You assumed that?

[Laughs]

Anyway, now that I'm back, I expect
us to be talking all the time again.

There's no reason we
can't return to our old glory.

[Vonda] ♪ Ain't that a shame
♪ [Chorus] ♪ Ain't that ♪

No reason. [Laughs]

See you in court, doughboy.

[Vonda] ♪ Oh, well ♪

♪ Good-bye ♪

♪ Although I'll cry ♪
Well?

She doesn't want
to. Did you ask her?

I didn't have to.
It isn't there. John!

♪♪ [Continues]

Gotta go.

♪ Ain't that a shame ♪
♪ You're the one to blame ♪

♪ You're the one ♪♪

I just don't get it.
She-She-She's sweet.

And yet she insists on keeping
this poor old man in prison.

Poor old man? He knocked
over a bank and tried to escape.

I get it. You're different.
You kickbox on dates.

Hayley... Hayley
seems... Oh, I don't know.

You ever think about joining
one of those dating services?

Are you serious? We hate
dating. You kill the inflatable man.

We go to the bar three nights a
week. We never meet anybody.

'Cause we sit at tables. If we really want
to meet people, we need to sit at the bar.

Syd Sharpie joined.
She gave me her tape.

[Laughs] Her-Her-Her tape?

You get to see
the guys on video.

When you think about all the
time it saves, it makes sense.

[Man On TV] A man
has to protect his woman.

I like to sniff my date's food
to make sure it's not putrid.

Old eggs get washed.
Expiration dates get changed.

I always sniff the girl's eggs.
To not do so would be rude.

I gotta go peel my face.

Boy, it seemed almost romantic,
didn't it? That trampoline?

You know, the way he went
up and up, and then over.

The triumph of the human spirit.

It's easy to look at it
that way. And if you do...

- Bad jury! Bad!
- Objection.

- Yes. We'll sustain that.
- The truth is,

I kind of look at
it that way too.

Look at him. He's
even a little adorable.

And 72. It's hard to
put him back in jail.

But he broke a law.

As cute as he may
be, I have a job to do.

So do you.

He had to go over that wall.

Eighteen years...

collecting those rubber bands.

To survive in prison,
you need hope.

And for nearly two decades,

he fixed all his hope on
just one single moment.

And when that
moment finally came,

how could he not seize it?

[Nose Whistles]

The thing about hope...
Many people secretly wish...

that that moment
never does present itself.

Because if it does,

well, there's a chance
the hope could be dashed.

Now, I knew a man who was
secretly in love with a woman...

who was his best friend.

But he never dared tell her...

for fear she wouldn't
return his feelings.

For fear she'd stop
being his best friend.

I think also he never
asked her because, well,

sometimes the... The
beauty of not knowing...

Hope lives.

But courage...

Now, courage is when the time
comes to jump, and you jump.

Courage is knowing
you can't not jump.

Somewhere out there
there's a man with a heart...

Maybe not broken.
Certainly not... not content.

Who wishes he'd
met Vincent Robbins.

Maybe things would be...

He would salute Vincent Robbins.

Yes, he would.

[Silverware Clattering]

You get it? This way,
you're never eating alone.

You just play this. If you don't look up,
you'd never know he wasn't really there.

[Burping, Echoes]

There's too much
reverb there. It's fixable.

Okay, Elaine. Thank
you. Off you go.

We still don't know who the case is
being transferred to, but the delay helps.

It actually gives us some
time to negotiate a settlement.

The risk that we might actually survive a
motion to dismiss gives us some leverage.

Actually, I've decided
to drop the suit.

What? Why? How? We haven't
even got your fiancé to the chamber yet.

The reason I wanted to sue...
Redemption, revenge, retainer.

Yes. Besides all that, I
felt sorry for myself, and...

What?

My love for him was
real. My pain was real.

Of course. That's
why we're here for you.

Yeah.

Well, listening
to you negotiate...

The illogic of marriage, how love is
illusory, stripped down it's all money...

Suddenly I don't feel
sorry for myself anymore.

I feel sorry for you.

Uh, Mary, it's my job as counsel
to caution you toward reason.

You may side with reason. You
may even be right. I don't know.

What I do know: You
certainly don't represent me.

[Sighs]

She looks so unhappy.

I think I'll send her
a CD. Maybe that...

Shut up, Elaine!

What, you think the cure to
somebody's loneliness is a compact disc?

What, that's your answer?

[Sighs] God, uh...
I'm sorry. [Chuckles]

I don't have the
answers, Richard.

Maybe you could let
me in on your secret.

Boo. Oh!

Oh! [Laughs] Unacceptable.

Oh. John, I was very, very
moved by your closing. Thank you.

That man you knew... Were you...
Were you talking about who I...

Oh, uh...

Yes.

All that time you
were in love... with me?

Only at the very...

Yes.

Well, you know I loved you too.

But not... in maybe
the way you mean.

Of course. Oh, I
know that. I know.

You were the best friend I ever had,
John. And running into you again...

You know, even after years of not
talking, it's like we were never apart.

But... Hayley... Hayley, I'm
not asking you for anything.

I valued your friendship, and that's...
I just didn't want to jeopardize...

John. Hey.

It was a closing argument. I'm
trying to win an acquittal for my client.

Don't read too much into it.

Okay. [Door Opens]

Hey! Hey, jury has a verdict, and
the judge is bringing them back in 20.

I should tell my client. Yeah.

If you'll excuse me. Sure. Yeah.

[Spectators Murmuring]

What does it mean when
they come back fast?

When we win, it's great.

And if we lose? It's terrible.

I can't go back to prison again.

If he says "guilty," I'm gonna
make a run for it. Are you with me?

You go ahead. I'll catch up.

[Bailiff] All rise.

- Mr. Foreman, you've reached
a unanimous verdict?
- We have, Your Honor.

- What say you?
- The Commonwealth
vs. Vincent Robbins,

on the charge of attempted
escape from a state penitentiary,

we find the defendant,
Vincent Robbins,

- not guilty.
- Oh! [Laughing]

Congratulations. There's
a rabbit from a hat, huh?

- [Judge] This jury is dismissed.
- I gotta look for a job.

Well, there are
plenty of banks to hit.

Just kidding. [Huttle Laughs]

You beat me, Biscuit. Well...

[Chuckles] Congrats.

Thank you.

Hey, lunch tomorrow?

Let me check my
book. I'll let you know.

Great. Great.

John?

Congratulations.

Yeah.

How'd it go? We won.

You did? Well, I-I-I
should say that John won.

He was the most
brilliant. Straight not guilty?

He was fabulous.

[Elevator Bell
Dings] Oh, damn it.

What's that about? I'm here
to sign the dismissal papers.

Oh, yes. Um, Elaine
will help you with that.

- Hey.
- Don't want to talk about it.

I-I understand, but... Ally,
I don't want to talk about it!

Sometimes I feel
better not talking!

That thing about talking
making you feel better?

That was made up
by a bunch of yappers!

I want to be by myself, with myself.
Would that be all right with you?

Yes.

Ally? Mm-hmm? [Clears Throat]

Thank you for...

Thanks.

[Sighs]

Uh, I know you're
not the judge anymore,

but there's a couple of things
I'd like to enter into record.

[Clears Throat]
First, I realize...

when, uh, people who
love each other, uh, part,

you know, no court
of law can fix it.

Second, I know it's
a slippery slope...

when you start asking
judges to legislate,

uh, couples.

And, uh, third, uh...

[Exhales]

I miss you.

If you don't mind, I'd like to
take all of that under advisement.

♪♪ [Soft Rock]

[Vonda] ♪ To think
that only yesterday ♪

♪ I was cheerful,
bright and gay ♪

♪ Looking forward to Well, who
wouldn't do the role I was about to play ♪

♪ But as if to knock me down ♪

♪ Reality came around ♪

♪ And without so
much as a mere touch ♪

♪ Cut me into little pieces ♪

♪ Leaving me to doubt ♪

♪ Talk about love
and its mercy ♪

♪ For if it really does exist ♪
[No Audible Dialogue]

♪ Why does it desert me ♪

♪ In my hour of need ♪

♪ I truly am indeed ♪

♪ Alone again, naturally ♪

♪ It seems to me that there are
more hearts ♪ [No Audible Dialogue]

♪ Broken in the world
that can't be mended ♪

♪ Left unattended ♪

♪ What do we do ♪

♪ What do we do ♪

[No Audible Dialogue]

♪ What do we do ♪

♪ What do we do ♪

♪ And in my hour of need ♪

♪ I truly am indeed ♪

♪ Alone again, naturally ♪

♪ Alone again ♪

♪ Naturally ♪♪

[Woman] You stinker!