'Allo 'Allo (1982–1992): Season 5, Episode 17 - Going Like a Bomb - full transcript

When Helga tells Von Strohm the stolen money was false, he thinks up a plan to get rid of the money and captain Bertorelli.

( theme music playing )

IT IS POSSIBLE
THAT YOU ARE WONDERING

WHAT I AM DOING
CREEPING INTO MY OWN CAFE

AT A QUARTER PAST 1:00
IN THE MORNING,

DRESSED IN
A HOSPITAL OPERATING GOWN,

WHICH, INCIDENTALLY,
OPENS UP THE BACK,

SO YOU WILL FORGIVE ME
IF I DO NOT TURN ROUND.

THE REASON FOR ALL
THIS IS VERY SIMPLE,

IF A BIT UNLIKELY.

I HAVE JUST TRUDGED
FIVE MILES

FROM THE NOUVION
GENERAL HOSPITAL,



WHERE I WAS
IN THE MATERNITY WARD.

I WAS ENDEAVORING
TO RESCUE MONSIEUR ALPHONSE,

WHO WAS RECOVERING
FROM A HEART ATTACK,

WHICH HE SUFFERED
WHILST BEING INTERROGATED

BY THE GESTAPO,

ABOUT SOME 975,000

MISSING FRANCS,

WHICH I HAD JUST STUFFED DOWN
LIEUTENANT GRUBER'S TROUSERS.

AM I REALLY
SAYING ALL THIS?

MAYBE IT IS ALL
A TERRIBLE DREAM?

NO, IT IS TRUE.

THE DRAFT BLOWING UP
MY BACKLESS HOSPITAL GOWN

TELLS ME IT IS TRUE.

RENE,



ARE YOU OPEN?

PARTLY.

SHUT THE DOOR, LIEUTENANT,

THERE IS A TERRIBLE DRAFT.

SO I SEE.

RENE,

YOU ARE WEARING THE MOST
UNUSUAL NIGHT ATTIRE.

IT IS FOR THE AIR RAIDS,
LIEUTENANT.

ONE HAS TO BE READY
TO LEAP IN AND OUT

OF ONE'S CLOTHES
AT A MOMENT'S NOTICE.

OF COURSE.

FORGIVE ME
FOR CALLING SO LATE,

BUT I SAW A LIGHT
AND I HAVE GOOD NEWS.

OH?

THE UNDERTAKER IS
NO LONGER IN A POSITION

TO SPILL THE BEANS
TO THE GESTAPO

REGARDING
THE STOLEN MONEY,

WHICH, YOU MAY RECALL,

YOU HID DOWN MY TROUSERS.

OH, YES,
I REMEMBER IT WELL.

YES, I AM AFRAID
HE HAS BEEN ELIMINATED.

THE COLONEL PLACED UNDER HIM
AN EXPLODING BEDPAN.

WHAT A TERRIBLE WAY TO GO.

IN ANY EVENT,
WE ARE ALL IN THE CLEAR NOW.

WELL, THAT IS GOOD NEWS.

DO YOU FANCY A LITTLE
SOMETHING TO CELEBRATE?

NOT IN THE CIRCUMSTANCES, NO.

OH COMES ALONG NOW,

IT WILL BE MY TREAT.

NO, LIEUTENANT, NO.

I HAVE TO PUT
THE CAT OUT.

OH, I-- I COULD
PUT IT OUT WITH YOU.

NO, YOUR MEDALS
MIGHT FRIGHTEN IT.

VERY WELL.

I-- I TOO HAVE
A LITTLE CAT, YOU KNOW.

OH, REALLY?

WHAT IS IT?

A GINGER TOM.

WHAT ELSE.

GOOD NIGHT, RENE.

GOOD NIGHT,
LIEUTENANT GRUBER.

- RENE.
- AH, YVETTE.

( growling )
OH, MY BIG PUMPKIN,

I WAS WORRIED ABOUT YOU.

WELL YOU COULD HAVE
WORRIED A BIT SOONER.

YOU LEFT ME STANDING
OUTSIDE THE HOSPITAL.

WHEN WE PUT
MONSIEUR ALPHONSE IN THE AMBULANCE.

WE THOUGHT YOU WERE
IN THERE WITH HIM.

WELL, I WAS NOT.
I HAD TO WALK HOME.

DID NOBODY OFFER
TO PICK YOU UP?

YES, THREE TIMES.

I HAD TO HIDE IN THE WOODS.

BUT YOU ARE HERE NOW.

PUT BOTH YOUR STRONG
ARMS AROUND ME

AND TAKE MY BREATH AWAY.

IF I PUT BOTH
MY STRONG ARMS AROUND YOU,

I WILL TAKE EVERYBODY'S
BREATH AWAY.

RENE!

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

WHAT ARE YOU DOING
WITH THAT GIRL?

YOU STUPID WOMAN!

CAN YOU NOT SEE
THAT SHE HAS BEEN OVERCOME

BY THE ANESTHETIC
ON MY OPERATING GOWN?

OH, RENE,
I'M SO SORRY.

OH, POOR CHI--

RENE, YOU
TAKE HER UPSTAIRS,

I WILL FOLLOW
WITH THE CANDLE.

NO, YOU TAKE
HER UPSTAIRS,

I WILL FOLLOW
WITH THE CANDLE.

I SEE.

I SEE.
VERY WELL.

THE UNDERTAKER IS DEAD.

DID HE PASS AWAY

UNDER SUSPICIOUS
CIRCUMSTANCES?

I WOULD HARDLY CALL
AN EXPLODING BEDPAN

AN EVERYDAY OCCURRENCE.

IT IS BAD NEWS.
WE HAVE LOST OUR ONLY LEAD

TO THE WHEREABOUTS
OF THE FORGED GESTAPO MONEY.

FORGED MONEY?

DO YOU MEAN TO TELL ME
THAT THE MILLION FRANCS

STOLEN FROM YOU
WERE ALL FORGERIES?

CORRECT.

OH MY GOD.

HELGA,

I SEE A SMALL PULSE
TICKING IN YOUR NECK.

WHY ARE YOU SO
UPSET ABOUT THIS?

WHY AM I UPSET?

I AM UPSET BECAUSE
YOU ARE UPSET.

I SEE.

I AM UPSET BECAUSE
THE GESTAPO IN BERLIN

ARE DOING THEIR NUTS.
YOU MUST UNDERSTAND,

IT COSTS A LOT OF MONEY
TO FORGE MONEY.

WHAT ARE YOU GOING
TO DO, HERR FLICK?

I SUSPECT
THAT ALL THE MONEY

WILL BE HIDDEN
IN THE UNDERTAKER'S MORTUARY.

VON SMALLHAUSEN,

YOU WILL AT ONCE
GAIN ENTRY

AND CONDUCT A SEARCH.

HOW WILL I DO THIS
WITHOUT AROUSING SUSPICION?

YOU WILL GO AS A CORPSE.

BUT HERR FLICK,

I HAVE MANY TWITCHES
THAT WILL GIVE ME AWAY.

I HAVE THE SOLUTION.

IT IS A SPECIAL
GESTAPO SOLUTION.

I WILL NOW
INJECT YOU WITH IT.

FOR 24 HOURS
YOU WILL APPEAR

DEAD AS A DODO.

WHEN YOU AWAKE,

YOU WILL
JUMP OFF THE SLAB,

AND CONDUCT
A TOMB TO TOMB SEARCH.

ROLL UP YOUR SLEEVE.

ONE THING IS CERTAIN.

IF THIS MONEY IS FORGED,
IT'S NO GOOD TO US.

IT COULD, IN FACT,

GET US INTO TERRIBLE
TROUBLE WITH THE GESTAPO.

WE MUST PUT IT BACK
WHERE IT CAME FROM.

WELL, IF YOU REMEMBER,

IT CAME FROM RENE
AT THE CAFE.

IT WAS TRANSPORTED HERE

STUFFED DOWN LIEUTENANT
GRUBER'S TROUSERS.

IN THAT CASE, IT MUST
GO BACK THE SAME WAY.

HERE IS MY SHARE.

SOMEONE ELSE CAN STUFF IT
DOWN HIS TROUSERS.

AND HERE IS MY SHARE.

HERE IS MY SHARE.

COLONEL,
IF I MAY SAY SO,

I AM NOT THE MOST
JUNIOR PERSON HERE.

COULD NOT HELGA

TAKE IT BACK
IN HER KNICKERS?

CERTAINLY NOT.

OUR WARTIME KNICKER
ELASTIC IS VERY WEAK.

WE CANNOT HAVE HELGA
WALKING THROUGH THE TOWN

DROPPING NOTES
OF HIGH DENOMINATIONS

FROM HER UNDERWEAR.

PEOPLE WOULD WONDER
WHAT SORT OF ARMY WE'RE RUNNING.

IT'S CLEARLY
A MAN'S JOB.

YOU ARE RIGHT, HELGA.

IF I MAY SAY SO, COLONEL,

NOBODY WOULD SUSPECT
THAT A MAN

WITH FEATHERS IN HIS HAT

WOULD HAVE ANYTHING
OF GREAT VALUE

DOWN HIS TROUSERS.

HOW YOU LIKE A SMACK
IN THE FACE, EH?

THE LIEUTENANT MEANS
YOU'RE BEYOND SUSPICION,

BEING AN ITALIAN WAR HERO,

AND WITH ALL THOSE
WAR MEDALS.

YOU ARE RIGHT.
I A BIG WAR HERO.

I HAVE THE BIG MEDALS.

I HAVE THE BIG NERVE.

AND YOU HAVE
THE BIG TROUSERS.

NO, COLONEL!
PLEASE NO!

NOT MY TROUSERS, NO.

LIEUTENANT GRUBER!

OH!

TELL RENE
IT'S HOT MONEY.

IT ALSO
VERY TICKLY MONEY.

HELGA.

TELL HIM
HE MUST TAKE IT,

AND GET IT BACK
TO THE GESTAPO,

OR ELSE
HE WILL BE SHOT.

( rustling )

COLONEL, TO WALK DOWN
THE STREET LIKE THIS,

NEED EVEN BIGGER
HERO THAN ME.

YOU'RE RIGHT.

YOU MUST WAIT
TILL IT'S DARK.

VERY DARK.

HELGA, YOU MUST
KEEP HIM UNDER

CLOSE OBSERVATION.

AS SOON AS HE DEPARTS
FOR THE CAFE,

INFORM ME.

I WILL SNITCH ON HIM
TO THE GESTAPO

AND THEY WILL ARREST HIM.

AND IN ONE STROKE,

WE WILL HAVE GOT
RID OF THE MONEY,

AND GOT RID OF THIS
IRRITATING WOP.

( knocking )

I AM SORRY, WE ARE
NOT YET OPEN.

COME BACK
IN HALF AN HOUR.

GOOD MOANING.

I AM VERY SORRY,
OFFICER CRABTREE,

BUT WE ARE CLOSED.

IN THAT CASS I AM LICKY
TO HAVE CAUGHT YOU.

IT WAS NOT LICKY FOR ME.

I HAVE A MASSAGE FOR YOU.

MICHELLE IS IN
THE TOWN SQUEER.

SHE HAS A NEW
ESCOOP APPAROOTIS

FOR THE BRITISH EARMIN.

WELL GO AND TELL HER
TO STAY IN THE SQUEER.

WHEN I GIVE HER
THE SECRET SOGNAL,

SHE WILL APPEAR
LIKE A PHANTOM OUT OF THE NEWT.

( whistle blows )

I AM HERE.

I SLIPPED UP
THE BACK PASSAGE.

GATHER ROUND QUICKLY.

YVETTE,
MIMI.

THERE IS
VERY LITTLE TIME,

SO LISTEN VERY CAREFULLY,

I SHALL SAY THIS
ONLY ONCE.

THE GERMANS ARE ABOUT

TO PUT INTO ACTION

A NEW AND TERRIBLE
SECRET WEAPON.

WHAT IS THIS
SECRET WEAPON?

A VERY BIG BOMB.

WHAT WILL THEY
THINK OF NEXT?

IT IS A NEW TYPE
OF LAND MINE.

IT IS A DEVELOPMENT
OF THE MARK V LAND MINE.

IT IS THE MARK SOX.

WE HAVE CAPTURED
TWO OF THEM.

IN GOD'S NAME, WHY?

THEY WILL BE BROUGHT HERE,

AND THEN I WILL EXPLAIN.

OH, NO, NOT IN MY CAFE.

NOT THE MARK SOX.

IT IS TOO LATE,
THEY ARE HERE.

Rene:
OH MY GOD.

DO NOT DROP THEM.

YOU WILL BLOW
THE WHOLE OF NOUVION

TO KINGDOM COME.

THE EXPLOSIVE HAS
BEEN REMOVED.

WHAT GOOD IS
A BOMB WITHOUT EXPLOSIVES?

IT IS A PLIN DEVOSED
BY BRITISH INTOLLIGENCE.

THESE BUMMS
ARE HOLLOW, ROOT?

ROOT.

IN THEM,
WE WILL PLOCE

THE TWO BRITISH EARMIN.

THE BUMMS WILL BE
LOADED ON A BUMMER

ON A DICK NIGHT,

AND THEN THEY WILL
BE DRIPPED OVER ONGLAND.

EXCUSE ME ASKING,

BUT WILL THIS NOT
KILL THEM?

THAT IS THE CLEAVER BOT.

THE BRITISH EARMIN
WILL WEAR PARASHATS.

THE LODS--

ARE SECURED BY THESE,

THEY ARE STEEL NUTS.

THEY WILL EACH
HAVE A SPINNER.

AS THEY DESCOND,
THEY WILL UNSCREW THEIR NUTS.

WELL, IT WILL BE ONE WAY
OF PASSING THE TIME.

THEY WILL THEN
REMAUVE THE LODS

AND JUMP OUT,
AND IMMEDIATELY OPEN

THEIR PARASHATS.

HAVE YOU TOLD
THE TWO AIRMENT UPSTAIRS

OF THIS PLAN?

EVEN AS WE SPEAK,

ONE OF MY GIRLS HAS
EXPLAINED IT TO THEM.

( pounding )

ABOUT ONE THING
I AM NOT CLEAR--

WHERE ARE
THE PARACHUTES?

THEY WILL BE
CAMOUFLAGED AS PILLOWS,

AND DELIVERED
BY ONE OF OUR AGENTS.

HOW WILL I KNOW
THIS AGENT?

HE WILL BE DISGUISED
AS A PILLOW STUFFER.

NOW, LOOK.

MIMI, YOU WILL SEE
THAT THESE BOMBS

ARE HIDDEN
IN THE CELLAR.

LOOK AT THE TIME.

LONDON WILL BE CALLING
ANY MOMENT.

WE MUST GO QUICKLY
TO THE RADIO.

YOU WILL TELL ENGLAND
THAT THE AIRMEN

WILL BE ARRIVING
ON THE NEXT AIR RAID.

OH, VERY WELL.

COME, RENE.

NO, YOU GO WITH YVETTE.

I WANT NO PART
OF THIS CRAZY PLAN.

I AM RESIGNING
FROM THE RESISTANCE.

IT IS A DARING PLAN.

IF IT SUCCEEDS,

THE BRITISH AIRMEN
WILL ONCE AGAIN

BE ON THEIR NATIVE SOIL.

IF THEY DO NOT MANAGE
TO UNSCREW THEIR NUTS,

THEY WILL HAVE
TO DIG THEM OUT

OF THE ENGLISH SOIL.

I SAY FAIRFAX,

I'VE BEEN THINKING
ABOUT THE NEW ESCAPE PLAN.

SO HAVE I.

I'M A BIT
WINDY ABOUT IT.

SO AM I.

FOR INSTANCE,
HOW ARE WE GOING

TO FIND OUR NUTS
IN THE DARK?

HOW WOULD IT BE
IF WE COVERED THEM WITH LUMINOUS PAINT?

GOOD IDEA.

I'LL SUGGEST IT
TO THAT RESISTANCE GIRL.

MAMMA, WE NEED
THE RADIO.

MONSIEUR ALPHONSE.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING
IN THE BED OF MY MOTHER?

LEAVE HIM ALONE.

HE IS A MAN ON THE RUN.

POOR MONSIEUR ALPHONSE.

ARE YOU QUITE COMFORTABLE?

( heart monitor
beeps faster )

AH, YES,
BUT THIS MACHINE

KEEPS ME AWAKE.

IT RESPONDS TO EVERY
BEAT OF MY HEART

BECAUSE I AM
STILL ATTACHED

TO IT FROM THE CHEST.

I TRIED PULLING
THE WIRE,

BUT NOTHING HAPPENED.

( monitor beeping fast;
radio buzzer sounds )

I SEE FLASHING KNOBS.

FLASHING KNOBS,
MY GOD!

AARGH!

RENE, I MUST
SPEAK WITH YOU.

WHEN ARE THESE GIRLS
FROM THE COMMUNIST RESISTANCE

GONNA LEAVE US?

I WISH TO HAVE
MY ROOM BACK,

SO THAT WE CAN
FLY AWAY

ON A MAGIC GOSSAMER
CLOUD OF HAPPINESS

AND ENCHANTMENT,
IN BED.

OH, DEAR
LITTLE MIMI,

SO MUCH PASSION
BOTTLED UP

IN SUCH A SMALL
CONTAINER.

QUICK, I HEAR
FOOTSTEPS. HERE.

RENE,

WE HAVE HELD A COMMITTEE
MEETING AND,

BY A DEMOCRATIC VOTE
OF 12 TO THREE,

WE ARE MOVING
TO ABBEVILLE.

GOOD.
A SAFE HOUSE?

A HOUSE WITH A SAFE.

THE LORRY IS OUTSIDE.

GOODBYE, BRAVE RENE.

IF I SHOULD DIE,

YOUR NAME WILL BE
CARVED HERE, ON MY HEART.

WELL, DO NOT PUT
MY ADDRESS ON IT, WILL YOU?

FOLLOW ME, GIRLS.

AS SOON AS IT IS SAFE,
I WILL KILL HER

AND COME BACK
AND TAKE WHAT IS MINE.

WHY? WHAT HAVE
YOU LEFT BEHIND?

YOU!

DO NOT WORRY, MY SWEET.

I MAKE YOU
A SOLEMN PROMISE,

YOU WILL BE KIDNAPPED,

TIED HAND AND FOOT,

AND BROUGHT TO ME
WITHIN A MONTH.

( honking )

THE HORN,
YOU MUST GO.

( grunting )

COLONEL, I HAVE TO REPORT
THAT CAPTAIN BERTORELLI

HAS LEFT HIS ROOM ON HIS WAY
TO RENE'S CAFE.

GOOD. GRUBER,

GET ME THE GESTAPO
ON THE BLOWER.

I WILL TIP OFF
HERR FLICK

AND HE WILL
ARREST BERTORELLI.

IT IS RINGING, COLONEL.

HELLO.

Herr Flick:
This is a recorded

Gestapo message.

I am not taking
calls at the moment

but you may leave
a message

on the revolving
wax disc.

Please speak
after the gunshot.

( gun fires )

( bad French accent )
I AM AN ANONYMOUS

FRENCH PEASANT.

ZE MISSING MONEY

IS IN ZE TROUSERS

OF ZE MAN

WITH A FEATHERS
IN HIS 'AT.

YOU WILL FIND HIM
AT ZE CAFE RENE.

I WOULD TELL YOU MORE

ONLY MY MONEY'S RUNNING OUT.

PIP, PIP, PIP,
PIP, PIP, PIP,

WELL DONE, COLONEL.

A BRILLIANT
IMPERSONATION.

BUT IF HE DOES NOT RECEIVE
THE MESSAGE QUICKLY,

RENE WILL RECEIVE
THE MONEY AND...

HE WILL BE ARRESTED.

SO WHAT?
HE'S ONLY A FRENCHMAN.

HE KNOWS TOO MUCH.

MAYBE YOU'RE RIGHT.

WE'LL GO TO THE CAFE
AT ONCE.

( singing off-key )
♪ FALLING IN LOVE WITH LOVE, ♪

♪ IS FALLING
FOR MAKE BELIEVE ♪

♪ FALLING IN LOVE
WITH LOVE ♪

♪ IS PLAYING THE FOOL... ♪

OH, RENE,

THERE ARE TEARS
IN YOUR EYES.

DO THE WORDS
MAKE YOU CRY?

NO, YVETTE.

IT IS THE WAY
SHE SINGS THEM.

WHY DO WE NOT GO
INTO THE BACK ROOM

WHILE NOBODY
IS LOOKING?

HOW CAN I?
WHAT EXCUSE DO I HAVE?

I WILL PROVIDE
YOU WITH ONE.

♪ ONE NIGHT WHEN
THE MOON WAS YOURS... ♪

RENE, YOU ARE WANTED
IN THE BACK ROOM.

I AM COMING.

♪ WITH EYES
UNABLE TO SEE... ♪

OH, RENE.

RENE, WHY DO WE
NOT TAKE

THE SILVER CANDLESTICKS,
CLIMB OUT THE WINDOW,

SELL THEM,
BUT A TICKET TO PARIS,

FIND A SMALL CHEAP HOTEL

IN THE LESS FASHIONABLE
PART OF THE LEFT BANK?

I CAN BRING CUSTOMERS
TO MY ROOM.

YOU CAN HIDE
IN THE WARDROBE.

AND SOON WE WILL
HAVE ENOUGH MONEY

TO MOVE SOMEWHERE
BETTER.

OH, YVETTE,

YOU DEAR, ROMANTIC,
PRACTICAL CHILD.

THOSE SILVER CANDLESTICKS
ARE ONLY ELECTROPLATED.

OH, RENE.

AH, YES, I KNOW
HOW YOU FEEL, MY LOVE.

I GOT A SHOCK WHEN I TOOK
THEM TO THE PAWNBROKERS.

♪ I FELL IN LOVE WITH LOVE ♪

♪ WITH LOVE, EVERLASTING ♪

♪ BUT LOVE FELL OUT ♪

♪ WITH ME-EEE. ♪

AH, CAPTAIN,

YOU HAVE JUST
MISSED MY CABARET.

DON'T WORRY, I HEAR YOU
ACROSS THE SQUARE.

DEAR LADY,

I NEED THE PRIVATE WORD

INSIDE YOUR EARHOLE.

COME AND SIT DOWN,
DEAR CAPTAIN.

MIMI, THE BEST WINE
FOR THE CAPTAIN.

COME CLOSER,
I NO WANT ANYBODY

HEAR WHAT I SAY.

WHISPER TO ME
SOFTLY, CAPTAIN,

WHAT IS IT
YOU WANT?

I HAVE FOR YOU
A LOT OF SOMETHING

WHICH ONCE RENE HAD.

BUT NO LONGER HE GOT.

I THINK I KNOW
WHAT YOU ARE

TRYING TO SAY,
CAPTAIN,

BUT I THINK IT IS
A PRIVATE MATTER

BETWEEN MY HUSBAND
AND MYSELF.

I NO THINK YOU
UNDERSTAND ME STRAIGHT.

I UNDERSTAND YOU
PERFECTLY, CAPTAIN.

IT IS JUST THAT

MY COURAGE
IS FAILING ME

AT THE LAST MOMENT.

I COME TO THE POINT.

I WANT TO TAKE YOU
UPSTAIRS,

TAKE DOWN MY TROUSERS,

AND GIVE YOU
1,000,000 FRANCS.

WHAT IS THE MATTER?
WHAT HAS HAPPENED?

I WISH TO GIVE BACK TO YOU
THE MONEY YOU STOLE FROM THE GESTAPO.

SHHH, I DO NOT WANT IT.

YOU NO TAKE, THE COLONEL,
HE HAVE YOU SHOT.

MIMI, TAKE THE CAPTAIN
INTO THE KITCHEN.

PUT THE MONEY
IN THE OVEN.

EDITH, EDITH,

EDITH.

RENE, RENE.

WE MUST TELL THE GIRLS
TO PUT UP THEIR PRICES.

WE ARE UNDERCHARGING.

BERTORELLI'S
NOT HERE.

WE MAY BE
JUST IN TIME.

GRAB RENE
AND WARN HIM.

- RENE,
- YES, LIEUTENANT?

I MUST SPEAK
WITH YOU PRIVATELY.

LIEUTENANT, I HAVE
A CAFE FULL OF PEOPLE.

- WILL IT NOT WAIT?
- NO, IT WILL NOT.

CAPTAIN BERTORELLI
WILL BE HERE ANY MINUTE.

HE HAS SOMETHING FOR YOU,

IN HIS TROUSERS.

ON NO ACCOUNT
LET HIM GIVE IT TO YOU.

I'M NOT QUITE SURE THAT
I FOLLOW YOU, LIEUTENANT.

IT IS THE STOLEN
GESTAPO MONEY.

WHY WOULD HE WANT
TO GIVE IT TO ME?

THE NOTES ARE FORGERIES.

HE IS OBEYING
THE COLONEL'S INSTRUCTIONS.

WE PLANTED IT ON BERTORELLI.

WE THEN INFORMED
THE GESTAPO THAT THE MONEY

COULD BE FOUND
ON THE PERSON

OF THE MAN
WITH A FEATHERED HAT.

BUT WHY DO YOU WANT
BERTORELLI ARRESTED?

BECAUSE HE IS
AN INTERFERING WOP.

I SEE. WELL,
THE INTERFERING WOP

IS IN THE KITCHEN WITH MIMI
PUTTING THE MONEY INTO THE OVEN.

COME, GRUBER.

WE MUST STUFF IT
BACK IN HIS TROUSERS,

SO THAT HE CAN BE ARRESTED
ACCORDING TO PLAN.

STUFF YOUR PILLOWS,

STUFF YOUR PILLOWS.

OH MY GOD!

WILL YOU BUY
SOME FEATHERS

FROM A POOR OLD
PILLOW STUFFER.

SHUT UP!
COME HERE.

PSST!

IT IS I, LECLERC.

I AM DISGUISED

AS A POOR OLD
PILLOW STUFFER.

INDISTINGUISHABLE FROM
THE GENUINE ARTICLE,

AS USUAL.

I HAVE THE PARACHUTES.

THEY ARE IN THE PILLOWS.

SHH!
I WILL TAKE THESE TWO SAMPLE PILLOWS

FROM YOU,
PILLOW STUFFER.

GOODBYE.

- AND I WILL--
- GOODBYE, THANK YOU. GOODBYE.

PILLOWS!

STOP!

A MAN WITH FEATHERS
IN HIS HAT.

YOU WILL COME WITH ME.

NO, NO, NO.

I AM JUST A HUMBLE

OLD PILLOW STUFFER.

I HAVE INFORMATION THAT
YOU HAVE IN YOUR TROUSERS,

SOMETHING OF INTEREST
TO THE GESTAPO.

( stuttering )

PLEASE, IT IS I, LECLERC.

RENE, TELL THEM
WHO I AM.

I HAVE NEVER SEEN YOU
BEFORE IN MY LIFE.

YOU SEE, HE'S--
WHAT?!

IN THAT CASE,

HERE, GET STUFFED!

QUICK!
ARREST THAT PILLOW STUFFER.

( theme music playing )

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