'Allo 'Allo (1982–1992): Season 5, Episode 13 - Ribbing the Bonk - full transcript

( theme music playing )

SOME OF YOU MAY BE
SURPRISED TO SEE ME

DRESSED AS A FRANCISCAN VICAR,
FIDDLING ABOUT WITH A PRAM.

SOME OF YOU MAY BE
EVEN MORE SURPRISED TO LEARN

THAT THE BABY IN THE PRAM
IS NONE OTHER THAN MY WAITRESS,

MIMI LABONQ.

MAY I SPEAK?

NO.

ALL THIS IS A SIMPLE RUSE
TO RECOVER THE GENUINE PAINTINGS

OF THE FALLEN MADONNA
WITH THE BIG BOOBIES
BY VAN CLOMP,

AND THE CRACKED VASE
WITH THE BIG DAISIES
BY VAN GOGH,



BOTH OF WHICH PAINTINGS
I HAVE NOW CONCEALED

IN THE NAPPY OF MIMI LABONQ.

I WILL HAVE TO BLOW
THE TALCUM POWDER OFF

WHEN I GET HOME.

THE FORGERIES, I SHOULD ADD,

ARE CONCEALED
BEHIND THAT BEAM UP THERE.

NOW, THE GERMAN COLONEL
AND THE ITALIAN CAPTAIN

WERE JUST ABOUT TO CREATE
A DIVERSION

SO THAT I COULD ESCAPE,

WHEN, UNFORTUNATELY,
THEY WERE AMBUSHED

BY THE COMMUNIST RESISTANCE
AND CAPTURED.

AND THEY ARE NOW,
EVEN AS I SPEAK,

BEING LED HERE
BY THEIR FEARED LEADER,

DENISE LAROQUE, WHO IS,
OF COURSE,



MADLY IN LOVE WITH ME.

( door opening )

LOOK OUT, LIE BACK,
AND BEHAVE LIKE A BABY!

( belches )

Captain:
HEY. HEY!

MIND WHERE
YOU POKE THAT THING.

STAND OVER THERE!

HOW DID YOU GERMAN PIGS
FIND OUR SECRET HEADQUARTERS?

WE WERE LED HERE
BY THE OLD PIANO PLAYER.

YOU ARE A TRAITOR
TO FRANCE,

AND YOU WILL BE
SHOT IMMEDIATELY.

NO, NO, NO.

PLEASE, THEY MADE ME DO IT.

I WILL DIE FOR FRANCE.

BUT YOU DID NOT DIE.

I WILL, I WILL...

EVENTUALLY.

MA'AM, MAY I INTERCEDE
ON BEHALF OF THIS FRAIL,

OLD, PIANO TUNING,
PEASANT?

HE HAS NEVER GROWN UP.

HE HAS THE MIND
OF A FIVE-YEAR-OLD.

HE HAS A CONDITION KNOWN
IN THE MEDICAL WORLD AS--

"GAGA."

BE CALM, MY SON,
NO HARM WILL BEFALL YOU.

THANK YOU, FATHER.

WHY DO WE
WASTE TIME TALKING?

WE SHOULD TAKE THESE
ENEMIES OF FRANCE OUTSIDE,

PUT THEM UP AGAINST
THE WALL OF THE BARN,

AND BUMP THEM OFF.

YOU A BEAUTIFUL LADY.

WHY YOU SO
DAMNED AGGRESSIVE, EH?

YOU SHOULD NOT
MAKE THE WAR,

YOU SHOULD MAKE
THE LOVE.

DOES ANYBODY FANCY
THIS ITALIAN,

BEFORE WE SHOOT HIM?

HE COULD BE QUITE AMUSING,
I SUPPOSE,

FOR AN HOUR OR TWO.

I HAVE THE LAST REQUEST.

Denise:
WHAT IS IT?

I MUST WEAR THE BLINDFOLD.

BEFORE YOU ARE SHOT?

BEFORE I MAKE THE LOVE.

WHAT IS ALL THIS
TALK OF SHOOTING?

IF WE ARE CLEVER,

WE CAN GET
FOR THE GERMANS
A LARGE RANSOM.

SPEAKING FOR MYSELF,

I THINK THAT WHAT
THE HOLY FATHER IS SAYING

IS VERY SENSIBLE.

WELL, I SAY
GET RID OF THEM.

SHOOT THEM!

NO, NO, NO.
LET US NOT BE HASTY.

NOW LOOK, WE ARE ALL
GOOD COMMUNISTS,

WHY DO WE NOT
FORM A COMMITTEE?

HAVE A DEBATE?

PUT A MOTION
ON THE TABLE?

YOU NEED PARTY FUNDS.

WE COULD
START A NEWSPAPER,

ADVERTISE FOR NEW MEMBERS.

HE IS RIGHT.

THIS WE WILL DO.

THANK YOU, FATHER.

MAY I KISS YOUR RING?

THAT WILL NOT
BE NECESSARY.

THE THANKS
WILL BE ENOUGH.

CAN YOU SEE ANYTHING,
HERR FLICK?

PASS ME THE BINOCULARS.

YES, HERR FLICK.

NOT THE MICKEY MOUSE
BINOCULARS--

THE POWERFUL
GESTAPO BINOCULARS.

YES, HERR FLICK.

WHAT DO YOU SEE?

THE COLONEL, THE LIEUTENANT,
AND THE ITALIAN CAPTAIN

HAVE BEEN TAKEN INTO
THE SAWMILL

BY ROUGH, WORKING CLASS
WOMEN WITH GUNS.

WE MUST ASSUME THAT
THEIR PLANS HAVE FAILED.

WHAT DO WE DO NOW?

WHEEL ME BACK
TO MY HEADQUARTERS.

YES, HERR FLICK.

AND DO NOT
GO OVER ANY BUMPS,

AS I WISH TO GO
TO THE POTTY.

HOW MANY KILOS
DO YOU WISH?

NO, I HAVE
CHANGED MY MIND.

SHE'S CHANGED HER MIND,
SHE SAYS.

HOW WOULD YOU LIKE IT
IF I SQUEEZE YOUR GRAPEFRUIT

AND CHANGE MY MIND?

GOOD MOANING.

GOOD MORNING, OFFICER.

I WISH TO GIVE YOU
A MASSAGE.

COME INTO THE CAFE.

I SAY, CARSTAIRS,

CRABTREE, THE BRAVE
ENGLISH AGENT, APPROACHES.

OH, GOOD SHOW.

MAYBE HE'LL HAVE WIND
OF AN ESCAPE PLAN FOR US.

I HOPE NOT.
IT'S RATHER A NICE DAY
AND I'M ENJOYING THE WINE.

GOOD MOANING.

WHAT A NICE DO IT IS,
WITH ALL THIS SIN.

WHAT'S HE
TALKING ABOUT?

I DON'T KNOW.

HE'S SPEAKING
FRENCH AGAIN.

SORRY, CHAPS.

ANY ESCAPE PLANS?

WELL, NOT TODAY I'M AFRAID.
BUT WE'RE WORKING ON IT.

THEN COULD YOU LEND US
A BOB OR TWO?

WE THOUGHT WE'D GO
TO THE PICTURES
THIS AFTERNOON.

HERE YOU ARE,

GO EASY
ON THE POPCORN.

( sobbing )

WHAT ARE YOU
SNIVELING FOR, CHILD?

OH, IT IS RENE.

SO LONG
HE HAS BEEN AWAY.

DO NOT BLOW YOUR NOSE
ON THE PAPER NAPKINS.

THEY COST MONEY.

GOOD MOANING.

PREPARE YOURSELVES
FOR A SHICK.

RONNIE AND THE GERMANS
AND THE ITALIAN COPTAIN

HAVE BEEN KIPTURED
BY THE KIMMUNIST RESOSTANCE.

OH, NO!

OH, NO!

PUT THESE SMELLING SILTS
UNDER YOUR NEESES,

AND HAVE A GOOD SNAFF.

RENE HAS BEEN CAPTURED.

YES, WE JUST
HID THE NOSE.

SHE MEANS HEARD THE NEWS.

LISTEN, EVERYBODY.

MONSIEUR RENE
HAS BEEN CAPTURED.

I ALRODY TILLED THEM.

I HAVE A PLAN.

WE MUST AT ONCE
GET ON THE RADIO TO LONDON.

FOLLOW ME.

I LOVE YOU,
I LOVE YOU.

AH!

( record music playing )

( operatic singing )
♪ THEY CALL ME MIMI ♪

♪ BUT MY NAME ♪

♪ IS ♪

♪ LUCIA ♪

♪ MY STORY ♪

♪ IS A SHORT ONE ♪

- ♪ BUT-- ♪
- ( needle scratch )

SHORTER THAN I THOUGHT.

AH!

OH, OH.

OH, THOSE STAIRS,
MY DICKY TICKER.

'ALLO, LONDON,
'ALLO, LONDON.

I WISH TO SPEAK
TO KINGFISHER.

Male voice:
'Allo, 'allo,

this is
London calling.

Who is talking?

THIS IS BLUE TIT.

Kingfisher is
having lunch.

Call back
in 10 minutes.

WHAT IS THIS
PLAN YOU HAVE?

WE HAVE THE HATED GERMANS
AND THE COMMUNISTS

UNDER ONE ROOF.

IT IS AN IDEAL OPPORTUNITY
TO ELIMINATE THEM.

I'M CALLING UP THE R.A.F.

TO DROP THEIR BOMBS
ON THE SAWMILL.

BUT MY RENE IS THERE.

THE BOMBS FROM THE BOMBER
COULD KILL HIM.

GOOD.

BUT WHAT IS THE SACRIFICE
OF ONE LIFE,

WHEN WE CAN GET RID
OF SO MANY OF OUR ENEMIES?

BUT MAM'ZELLE,

ARE THE COMMUNISTS
NOT FRENCHMEN?

YES, BUT IF WE DO NOT
GET RID OF THEM,

THEY WILL TAKE OVER
AFTER THE WAR.

I CAN NOT LET YOU
DO THIS TO RENE.

HE WOULD BE PROUD

TO SACRIFICE HIMSELF
FOR FRANCE.

I WOULD NOT BE
TOO SURE OF THAT.

IF I MAY SAY SO,

I THINK HE WILL DIE
A HAPPY MAN,

KNOWING THAT
I WILL MARRY YOU,

DEAR LADY,

AND LOOK AFTER YOU TENDERLY
FOR THE FEW YEARS

REMAINING TO ME--

BEFORE LEAVING TO YOU
THE VAST AMOUNT OF MONEY

I HAVE
IN A SWISS BANK ACCOUNT,

THE NUMBER OF WHICH
I WILL GIVE YOU,

JUST BEFORE
WE BLOW OUT THE CANDLE

ON THE NIGHT
OF OUR HONEYMOON.

IT IS A GOOD OFFER.
TAKE IT.

HERE IS YOUR DINNER, PIGS.

LOOKS LIKE DOG FOOD.

IT IS DOG FOOD.

HOW DO WE EAT IT,
WITH OUR HANDS

TIED BEHIND OUR BACKS?

HOW DO DOGS EAT?

SHE IS
A BEAUTIFUL LADY,

BUT WHAT A COW.

THIS SITUATION IS GETTING

MORE AND MORE SERIOUS
EVERY MINUTE.

FORTUNATELY,
THEIR LEADER SEEMS TO BE

ON VERY GOOD TERMS
WITH RENE.

WHAT DOES
SHE SEE IN HIM
WHEN THERE IS ME?

WITH THE FIGURE,

THE UNIFORM
WITH THE MEDALS,

THE HANDSOME FACE
WITH THE BROAD SMILE

AND THE STRONG
WHITE TEETH?

PERHAPS SHE DOESN'T LIKE
THE DEAD CHICKEN
ON YOUR HEAD.

I HAVE PERSUADED THEM
NOT TO KILL YOU.

OH, THANK YOU, RENE.

I SHALL BE
FOREVER IN YOUR DEBT.

THEY HAVE ASKED ME
TO NEGOTIATE FOR YOU A RANSOM.

HOW MUCH
ARE THEY ASKING?

1,000,000 FRANCS
FOR THE GERMANS.

HOW MUCH FOR THE CAPTAIN
OF THE BRAVE ITALIAN ARMY?

10 TINS OF BAKED BEANS.

HAVE YOU RECOVERED
THE REAL PAINTINGS

FROM THEIR SECRET
HIDING PLACE?

UM, NOT YET, NO.

GO AND GET THEM. NOW!

YES, COLONEL.
KEEP CAVEE.

I HAVE THEM, COLONEL.

PUT THEM DOWN
GRUBER'S TROUSERS.

WOULD YOU LIKE THEM
DOWN THE LEFT SIDE,

OR THE RIGHT?

I THINK, IF IT IS
ALL THE SAME TO YOU,

ONE ON EACH SIDE.

THIS IS THE FALLEN MADONNA
WITH THE BIG BOOBIES

BY VAN CLOMP.

THIS IS THE CRACKED VASE
WITH THE BIG DAISIES.

OOH, OOH.

I HAD NOT
FORMERLY REALIZED

HOW COARSE
WAS THE CANVAS

USED BY VAN GOGH.

HE PROBABLY PAINTED IT
ON THE SKIRT

OF SOME OLD NATIVE.

LET US HOPE
HE WASHED IT FIRST.

I HEAR THEM COMING.

OH!

GOOD LUCK, MY BRAVE,
CHILDHOOD SWEETHEART.

YES.

IF THE RANSOM IS PAID,

YOU WILL BE RELEASED
MORE OR LESS UNHARMED.

IF NOT--

BANG,

BANG,

BANG.

THE GENERAL WILL PAY.

EMBRACE ME.

OH, YES.

EMBRACE ME, ALSO.

THIS IS MY MAN,

AND I WILL KILL
ANY OTHER WOMAN

WHO TRIES TO COME
BETWEEN US!

YOU AND WHO ELSE?

JUST GET
YOUR HANDS OFF HIM.

LADIES,
LADIES, PLEASE.

YOU HAVE HAD A HARD DAY.

THE KETTLE IS ON,
NOW JUST CONTROL YOURSELVES.

THIS OVERWEIGHT FROG,

WHAT'S HE GOT, EH?

WHY ALL THE GIRLS
GOT THE HOTS FOR HIM?

IT IS BECAUSE HE IS ALL MAN.

FAREWELL, FAREWELL.

WOULD IT BE ALL RIGHT
IF I TOOK WITH ME

THE OLD PEASANT
AND THE BABY?

IS IT YOUR BABY?

NO, I FOUND IT
ON A DOORSTEP.

I WAS JUST GOING TO LEAVE IT
OUTSIDE THE NUNNERY

WHEN I SUDDENLY THOUGHT
ONE OF THEM MIGHT BE BLAMED.

I WILL JUST DROP IT OFF
AT THE ORPHANAGE.

NO. NO, IT IS BETTER

THAT THE POOR CHILD
BE LOOKED AFTER BY WOMEN.

BUT SURELY IT WOULD
GET IN YOUR WAY

WHEN YOU ARE KILLING GERMANS
AND BLOWING THINGS UP?

WE HAVE MANY SYMPATHIZERS.

IT WILL BE WELL CARED FOR.

WHO KNOWS,

IN TIME,

YOU AND I
MAY ADOPT IT,

AND BRING IT UP
AS OUR OWN.

THAT IS A VERY NICE
THOUGHT, DENISE.

BUT WOULD IT NOT BE EASIER
IF I JUST WENT

AND CHANGED IT
FOR A PRETTIER ONE?

NO, THE WORRY
OF BEING AN ORPHAN

HAS ALREADY MADE HER
LOOK OLD BEYOND HER YEARS.

GO NOW. YOU HAVE
A MISSION TO FULFILL.

OH, YES.
COME, MONSIEUR.

YES.

'SCUSE.

( phone rings )

GENERAL VON KLINKERHOFFEN
SPEAKING.

DO YOU KNOW WHO THIS IS?

No.

GOOD.

IN THAT CASE,
I CAN TELL YOU

THAT COLONEL VON STROHM,
LIEUTENANT GRUBER,

AND CAPTAIN BERTORELLI,

HAVE BEEN CAPTURED
BY THE COMMUNIST RESISTANCE,

AND UNLESS YOU PAY
A RANSOM OF 1,000,000 FRANCS,

THEY WILL BE SHOT.

LET THEM BE SHOT.

'ALLO? HE HAS HUNG UP.

WHAT DID HE SAY?

HE SAID,
"LET THEM BE SHOT."

OH, HOW RUTHLESS
ARE THESE GERMANS.

IF HE DOES NOT CARE
WHAT HAPPENS TO THEM,

WHY SHOULD WE?

THEY ARE THE ENEMY.

AND MICHELLE HAS
ARRANGED FOR THE R.A.F.

TO DROP BOMBS ON THEM
TOMORROW NIGHT.

HANG ON,
HOW DID YOU KNOW

THAT I WOULD NOT
BE THERE?

IT IS WAR, MONSIEUR.
WE HAD TO TAKE A CHANCE.

BUT I HAVE LEFT
MIMI THERE,

AND SHE HAS GOT
THE REAL PAINTINGS WITH HER.

MICHELLE, YOU MUST STOP
THOSE BOMBERS.

I CANNOT.

THE BATTERY ON THE RADIO
IS FLAT.

BUT HOW ARE WE GOING TO FIND
1,000,000 FRANCS FOR THE RANSOM?

DEAR MONSIEUR ALPHONSE,

ALL THE MONEY
IN YOUR SWISS BANK ACCOUNT,

COULD WE NOT BORROW IT?

SUDDENLY I'VE
FORGOTTEN THE NUMBER,

AND THE SWISS BANK

IS CLOSED
FOR THE BANK HOLIDAY,

AND MY DICKY TICKER
IS ACTING UP AGAIN.

I CANNOT FORGE

A MILLION FRANCS
BY TOMORROW.

I HAVE IT,
IT IS SIMPLE.

WE WILL STEAL IT
FROM THE VAULT
IN THE BANK.

STEAL IT FROM THE VAULT
IN THE BANK, SHE SAYS.

HOW ARE YOU GOING
TO STEAL IT FROM THE BANK?

WE HAVE HERE THE GREATEST
SAFECRACKER IN ALL FRANCE.

WE WILL BLOW THE SAFE,

TAKE 1,000,000 FRANCS,

PAY THE RANSOM,
AND SAVE THE LIFE OF MIMI.

IT IS DECIDED.

I AM NOT GOING
TO ROB A BANK!

I WOULD GET LIFE--

OR EVEN LONGER.

IN THAT CASE,
WE WILL NOT BE ABLE

TO RECOVER THE PAINTINGS,
AND WE WILL BE POOR FOREVER.

OH, RENE,

THINK OF WHAT YOU COULD DO
WITH THE MONEY.

OH, THIS GREED WITHIN ME,

IT IS LIKE BEING SHACKLED
TO A MADMAN.

I WILL DO IT.

MADEMOISELLE, I ALSO
HAVE MONEY IN THAT BANK.

HOW DO YOU KNOW YOU WILL
NOT BE STEALING MINE?

YOU WILL BE
COMING WITH US.

WE WILL MEET AT THE BANK
AT MIDNIGHT.

YOU ARE LOOKING
VERY PENSIVE, HERR FLICK,

AND YOUR BROW
IS FURROWED

LIKE A PLOWED FIELD.

WHAT IS THE REASON
FOR THIS?

I AM HATCHING A PLOT.

I WAS INTENDING
TO OBTAIN THAT PAINTING,

TO SELL AFTER THE WAR,
IN ORDER TO MARRY YOU.

CORRECT.

THERE IS, HOWEVER,

A SWIFTER WAY
OF OBTAINING MONEY.

WHAT IS THIS, HERR FLICK?

BY PRETENDING
TO BE A MEMBER

OF THE COMMUNIST
RESISTANCE.

I WILL TELEPHONE
THE GENERAL

AND DEMAND
HE PAY A RANSOM

FOR THE RETURN OF
THE GERMAN OFFICERS.

IT IS A DEVIOUS
AND BRILLIANT PLAN, HERR FLICK.

I KNOW.

'ALLO, 'ALLO.

IS THIS
GENERAL VON KLINKERHOFFEN?

SPEAKING.

I AM A FRENCH PEASANT,
WORKING FOR THE RESISTANCE.

IF YOUR GERMAN OFFICERS
ALIVE YOU WISH TO SEE,

YOU WILL A RANSOM
OF 2,000,000 FRANCS PAY.

YOU FOOLISH FELLOW.

IF I WILL NOT PAY A RANSOM
OF 1,000,000 FRANCS,

WHY SHOULD I PAY 2,000,000?

HE WILL NOT PAY.

THESE GERMAN GENERALS,

THEY ARE
RUTHLESS SCOUNDRELS.

WHAT ARE YOU
GOING TO DO?

I SHALL KICK VON SMALLHAUSEN
WITH MY GOOD LEG.

WHAT WRONG HAS HE DONE?

NONE.

BUT I SHALL
FEEL BETTER FOR IT.

THERE IS THE DOOR
OF THE VAULT.

BREAK IN, I WILL
KEEP WATCH OUTSIDE.

SHOULD ANYONE APPROACH,

I WILL HOOT LIKE AN OWL.

LOOK, YOU STAY HERE,

I WILL HOOT LIKE AN OWL.

LILY-LIVER.

I AM THE BOSS,

YOU WILL DO AS
YOU ARE TOLD.

I THINK IT IS
A VERY STRONG DOOR.

IT WILL NEED
A LOT OF EXPLOSIVE.

IT WILL BE A BIG BANG.

DO NOT WORRY.

I HAVE SEEN
THESE DOORS BEFORE.

I OPENED ONE
IN DIJON, IN 1931.

A BANK?

NO, THE MUSTARD FACTORY.

SH, SH, SH, SH!

WHAT CAN YOU HEAR?

RUST.

HURRY UP.

( owl hoot )

MY GOD, THE OWL.

SOMEBODY IS COMING.

GOOD MOANING.

DO IT TAKE IT
YOU ARE RIBBING THE BONK?

YES, WE ARE
RIBBING THE BONK.

BUT THAT IS AGAINST THE LOO.

IT IS LICKY FOR YOU
THAT I AM ON YOUR SAWED.

EVERYBODY,

I HAVE DONE IT.

BUT, THIS IS A BIGGLARY,

A VERY BOG BIGGLARY.

LOOK, YOU GO OUTSIDE
AND KEEP WATCH
WITH MICHELLE.

ANYONE APPROACHES,
I WILL HOOT LIKE AN EEL.

GET TO WORK
ON THESE BOXES.

NO, NO! NOT THAT ONE.
IT IS MINE.

I WILL CHECK IT
WHILE I'M HERE.

THIS ONE IS FULL OF PAPERS.

IT IS SOMEBODY'S WILL.

THIS ONE IS EMPTY.

IT IS THE BAKER'S.

OH, HE HAS LEFT NOTHING
TO HIS WIFE;

ALL TO HIS MISTRESS.

I THINK IT IS ALL HERE.

( creaking )

QUICK, THE DOOR!

Rene:
MY GOD!

OH NO.
WE ARE TRAPPED!

HOW ARE WE GOING
TO GET OUT OF HERE?

WE CANNOT.

IT IS ON
A TIME SWITCH.

WE MUST WAIT
FOR THE BANK TO OPEN.

MY GOD, I WILL
GET LIFE FOR THIS.

OH MY, I AM GETTING
THE CLAUSTROPHOBIA.

RENE, HOLD ME.

MY POOR CHILD.
TAKE-- TAKE DEEP BREATHS.

( breathes heavily )

NOT THAT DEEP.
YOU ARE USING UP ALL THE AIR.

QUICK, I HAVE AN IDEA.

I STILL HAVE
THE PLASTIC EXPLOSIVE.

WE CAN BLOW OPEN THE DOOR.

QUICK, BEFORE
WE ALL SUFFOCATE.

OH, MY DICKY TICKER.

GIVE TO ME
THE STETHOSCOPE.

( wheezes )

OH, GOD.

IT HAS STOPPED.
I AM DEAD.

YOUR END HAS
FALLEN OFF.

OH NO!

Edith:
THE LIGHTS,
THEY ARE DIMMING!

Leclerc:
WHAT IS HAPPENING?

I CANNOT WORK
WITHOUT LIGHT.

AH! I HAVE
THE MATCHES.

- GIVE THEM HERE, QUICK.
- HERE.

LIGHT, LIGHT.

WHO PUT ALL THE DEAD ONES
BACK IN THE BOX?

QUICK, IT IS GOING!

OH!

THERE IS ONLY
ONE MATCH.

AND I MUST HAVE THAT

TO LIGHT THE FUSE.

Rene:
OH MY GOD.

Leclerc:
AH, NOW I CANNOT SEE

TO PUT
THE PLASTIC EXPLOSIVE.

LIGHT, I MUST HAVE
MORE LIGHT.

QUICK, KEEP IT GOING.

GIVE ME SOME PAPERS.

- HERE, HERE.
- OH MY GOD!

THAT IS MY DEPOSIT BOX.

MY MONEY!
THEY'RE BURNING MY MONEY!

PLEASE, THESE ARE
5000 FRANC NOTES.

I'M SORRY, MONSIEUR,

BUT WE NEED
THE LIGHT.

OH BUT MADAME,
IN THE NAME OF HEAVEN,

BURN THE 1000s!

OH MY GOD,
MY NEST EGG.

MY LIFE'S SAVINGS.

NEEDS MUST, MONSIEUR,
NEEDS MUST.

BUT MADAME, THINK
OF OUR FUTURE.

BURN YOUR KNICKERS.

THEY ARE TAKING
A LONG TIME.

DO YOU THINK WE SHOULD
HAVE A POKE?

A POKE?

A POKE TO SEE
WHAT IS HAPPENING.

I AM READY NOW
TO LIGHT THE FUSE.

THANK GOD.

ANOTHER THREE MINUTES,

I WOULD HAVE BEEN
BANKRUPT.

LOOK, I HAVE FOUND
A BOX FULL OF MONEY.

EVERYBODY, STAND BACK.

BACK, STAND BACK.

CAN YOU HEAR ME INSOD?

IF YOU CAN HEAR ME,

GIVE ME A SOGNAL.

( explosion )

( coughing; gasping )

( theme music playing )