All Rise (2019–…): Season 1, Episode 5 - Devotees in the Courthouse of Love - full transcript

Previously on "All Rise"...

Got a very expensive
defense attorney

waiting for me
in my office.

- Amy Quinn.
- How'd you know?

That smile. You always
had a thing for Quinn.

- Not true.
- Okay, not true.

If we found out you had
something to do with this, Amy,

you won't just be disbarred.
You'll go to jail.

Well, that's a big gun.
I thought we liked each other.

Emily Lopez-Batista.

Not all double-barrel names
work, but yours does.



For the record,
my name is Emily Lopez.

- Where'd the Batista go?
- He's living with his mother.

- I like you.
- I like you.

There's gonna be a divorce.
I don't know how much time I

Em, whatever works for you
works for me, okay?

Em.

Put your bag
on the belt, sir.

Symbol of a doomed marriage.

Is that
your engagement ring?

- He wants it back.
- And you couldn't resist.

Can we talk
about something else?

You had to try it on
one last time.

Like how I have to
cross-examine a priest today?

First time for everything.My question is
why you left it on.



I know it's not a sin
to cross-examine a priest,

but does the judge?
Does God?

Tell me it's not because
you've changed your mind.

It is like
a literal sea of love.

I like Wedding Day.

They don't know what
they're getting into.

- Are you nervous?
- No!

Benner does this PR thing.

Civilians running around,
taking all the parking spaces,

throwing bouquets,
flowers everywhere.

- Like bridal bouquets?
- Yeah.

You should see what they try
and sneak through security with.

- You never told me.
- Once a year.

We weren't together
a year ago.Sounds fun. Is it fun?

- If you like getting married.

So my last meeting with
the skin care company is at 3.

What time do you think
you'll be done?

Mm, early, I hope.

Depends on how this
preliminary hearing goes.

Well,
by the end of the day,

I should officially be
a brand ambassador.

- Hey.
- We can celebrate.

Sounds good. Go out to dinner,
grab some bubbles.

- I'd like to get married.
- Now?

No. But...sometime.

Can we not do this today?

I'm not...doing anything.

Can I kiss you now?
'Cause I need to get to court.

Oh.

You know I really dig you,
right?

I...really dig you.

Oh.

Drive safe.

Oh, babe,
I love you so much.

You look amazing!

Well, we should.
It's our wedding day.

We're excited!Sara, I have to meet
with my client.

All right. Congratulations.

- Thank you.
- Thank you.

Also, I haven't
changed my mind.

Then why
are you still

He proposed. I accepted.
It's mine. That's the deal.

Emily,
you're getting a divorce.

He says
it's a family heirloom.Then you should give it back.

Except he lies...a lot.
Also, I can't. It's stuck.

In this matter, the imposition
of sentence is suspended,

and you are placed
on 36 months' formal probation

under the following
terms and conditions

pay a fine of $500.
- Your Honor, that ain't right.

Mr. Owens,
you've done a decent job

of representing yourself.
Don't ruin it.

Selling marijuana is illegal
without a license.

Impossible for a man like me
to get a license

when most go
to big white corporations.

Mr. OwensThey got me when I was
coming up as a kid.

And now that I'm going
down the other side,

they got me again.

Impossible for a man like...

It's impossible
for a man like me

to have a chance.

The court will allow
extra time

for payment of fines
and court costs.

Court costs, too?
With respect,

why does Your Honor think
a man like me

was selling weed
in the first place?

Am I dismissed, Your Honor?

Your Honor.

The man has a point.

What are the court costs
anyway?

- Your Honor?
- Court costs on this case.

They change all the time.
The clerk's office

Gonna wander over there
and stretch my legs a bit.

- Your Honor has a bench trial.
- In 30 minutes.

I can call down to the clerk
and have them send

I'm feeling
a little hemmed in.

I want to get my steps in
and take in

the Wedding Day sights.
- A judge out there is like

a butterfly landing
on your hand.

Judges are strongly
discouraged

from using public areas
of the courthouse.

Not a law,
not even a rule.

No. Accepted wisdom.

Deputy Watkins,
does it seem right to you

that judges are imprisoned
in their chambers,

cut off
from the general public

and the carrot cake muffins
in the cafeteria?

I can run and get that muffin
for you, if you like.

You're more afraid of her
than me?

Fine.

Maybe I'll go later.

Lola Carmichael is one

of the fairest judges
in the building.

- Is she Catholic?
- I-I don't have any idea.

- If she is, I'm dead.
- The prosecution's case

is almost
entirely circumstantial.Yeah, but if the Church

wants to blame someone,
it usually works.

Felony grand theft?
100 grand?

Our goal is just to raise
reasonable doubt.

Well, it isn't possible

for one person
to skim that much.

But you don't believe me

because I was
because I lived on Skid Row,

because I've stolen before,
because of the hair?

I had a shaved head
in high school.

Your hair doesn't bother me.
And what I don't believe

is that you've told me
everything I need to know

to properly defend you.

It's not too late. Give me
a list of your friends.

I can find at least one
character witness.

I either ripped them off
or owe them money.

- Family, then.
- Told you I don't have any,

not since I ran away.
Just the sister.

The same sister who's
testifying against you?

We need to get in there.

The prosecution has asked
that the court not be fooled.

They are saying, in fact,

that my client's
religious garments

are nothing more than a ruse

and that Sister Phoebe
must have $100,000

hidden under her habit somewhere

because, as I will
demonstrate, Your Honor,

My wife, who's not yet

I really need
to make her my wife,

but right now she's in labor
big-time.

- I'll call the paramedics.
- Judge Benner isn't here yet.

Your Honor, can you...

We need to be married
before the baby's born.

Ohh.
And my water broke.

This kid wants out,
but not before I get that ring.

Ooh. Let's get you
comfortable.

Let's give them some room,
people.

- What are your names?
- I'm Ryan.

- Corina.
- Judge Carmichael. Lola.

Is that a nun?
I can't get married by a nun.

My grandmother's Orthodox.
She'll kill me!

May I offer my services
at Atheist Reverend CXR301?

No!It absolutely has to be
a nondenominational ceremony.

- Judge Carmichael?
- I got you.

Have you done this before,
Your Honor?

No, but I'm feeling inspired.
Where are the rings?

- Give me your hands.

We form this circle
to celebrate the people

who have created
this little miracle

about to enter this world.

It's the day that you promise
to yourselves

and to this little child
to live in love.

No matter what happens
between the two of you,

you will always share
something.

May you forever take comfort
in this romance!Ohh!

Thank you,
Judge Carmichael.

Not done yet.
Do you and you?

- I do.
- I do.

You are now husband and wife.

Oh. Wait.
It's tradition.

Seriously,
get to the hospital.

Callan.
I scooped this case

when I saw you were
the prosecutor.

Amy Quinn.
Nice to see you.

Thought it might be
a fun rematch.

Hmm.This is Mark Callan,
our nemesis.

- I'm Margo.
- I know.

Your client's guilty.

Way to get
ahead of yourself.

This isn't even a trial.

She's a serial
dine and dasher.

She stuck 12 men
with huge bills.

They're sitting right there.

It's called dating,
not felony extortion.

And 12 is a little overkill
for a preliminary hearing.

I'll make you a bet.
It's just a prelim.

If Judge Laski
throws extortion out

or bounces it,
you buy dinner.

If he allows us
to go to trial,

I buy dinner.

I don't gamble with the lives
of defendants, Amy.

Oh, I don't mind.
I like a bit of fun.

- Thanks, but no.
- Okay.

I don't need any incentive
to kick your ass.

I'll do it for free.

See you in there, counselor.

Gentlemen.

Just got the word.

We will be back any minute now.

Happy to resume battle
with Ms. Lopez-Batista.

Lopez. It's just Lopez.

ItIt's not staying.

- Sorry. What?
- The ring.

- Just forget it.
- Okay.

I have to wait for mine.
I'm a novice.

I don't become
a bride of Christ

till my commitment
ceremony.

Then I get a ring.

Unless I go to jail.
Then I get excommunicated,

which means it's your job
to make sure

I don't leave our Lord
at the altar.

I will do everything
I can.

All rise.

Then about a year ago,
we put Sister Phoebe

in charge of
the Sunday cash donations.

So she had access to the money.

That's right.
We had to do an audit.

I hate math.

Baptisms are easier.

It showed revenues were
below historical averages.

The pattern started shortly

after Sister Phoebe was
given those responsibilities.

Thank you, sirFather.

Ms. Lopez?

Father Vincent, when you met
my client, what did you think?

I mean, the hair,
her checkered past.

We don't usually pick
our future nuns off the street,

but she was honest

about her complications
with the law.

And she settled,
found her vocation.

Not shy, that one.
She challenged my homily

on the homeless
and addiction.

She was right.

You like Phoebe.
You trusted her.

I did,
before she stole from us.

- Move to strike.
- Sustained.

Did you find any evidence
when you searched her room?

Cash, expensive purchases?

- No.
- And yet you assume

this young woman
would risk her vocation

and life that she is
so fiercely committed to.

Objection. Speculation.

Withdrawn.

The donationsWho handles
the cash between

the parishioners and the bank?
Could you provide names?

Well, there are a few
ushers, volunteers,

our accountant.
I can get you the list.

So Phoebe isn't the only person
who had access to the money.

No.Just the only one
you picked up off the street.

She winked at me.

So that's how the defendant
first made contact.

Yeah. SheShe winked at me
on the dating site,

then we messaged a bit,

then, uh, then she asked me
out to dinner.

- And how'd that make you feel?
- I'd kind of given up on being,

I don't know, whatever,

attractive to anybody
ever,

so yeah, it felt good.
She liked me.

Tell us about your dinner.

Margo told me to order
anything I liked.

She ordered the wine,
a 2010 Burgundy.

I remember 'cause I kept
staring at the bill after,

thinking, who pays this much
for a bottle of freakin' wine?

I guess I did. $918.35.

I am so sorry
that happened to you, Colin.

No further questions.

Ms. Quinn, care to cross?

I'd love to, Your Honor.

Ahem. So you messaged
with Margo.

Is that because you thought
she was attractive?

Yes. Yeah.

And you said
that you'd given up on love.

That's horrible. No one should
have to feel that way.

- I haven't been out since.
- I understand.

Colin, before
your date with Margo,

how long had it been
since you had sex?

I mean, with another person.

- Objection.
- Overruled.

Colin,
did you use the phrase

"sticking it to the soufflé"
that night

when talking to my client?

Did you say that's
what you were gonna do

to her after dinner?
That you would stick it to her?

- Objection!
- Sit down, Callan.

I'm looking forward
to the answer to that question.

It was justI didn't
I didn't mean it

to be disgusting
like you just said!

- I was trying
- No wonder she left early.

Verbally assaulted like this?

I mean, who knows
what would have happened

if she had stuck around
for dessert?

No more questions, Your Honor.

Step down, Mr. O'Mara.

Well, all this talk
about food and drink

has got my stomach all grumbly.

Lunch recess. Back at 1:30.

You should come over
tonight.

I've got tools that'll snap
that sucker right off.

I used to have a rosary.

I still have mine
from when I was baptized.

Reminds me of my abuelita.

- Sister.
- That your next victim?

Sister Miranda.
Parish accountant.

Taking apart
a priest anda nun

you better find
that rosary.

She doesn't look well.

See you back in there.

Congratulations.

Sister Miranda, you testified
as the parish accountant

that Phoebe had direct access
to the collection monies.

Did you ever actually see her
take any cash?I did not.

Do the sisters at your church
have your own income?

A small allowance.

I save up mine
for action movies.

Isn't it true that
Phoebe gives hers away?Objection. Relevance.

My client has been accused
of taking money.

I think it's relevant if she's
known to be giving it away.

Overruled. You may answer.

When we met, she was
living on the street

and so angry
but also so kind.

If somebody needed it
and Phoebe had it,

she was always giving
more than she has.

Under direct examination,
you said that you never heard

my client complaining
about not having money.

One of our vows is poverty.

She went from a tent to
an abbey. She was grateful.

You also testified that you saw
her argue with Father Vincent

about how the church's money
was being allocated.

Father Vincent planned
to renovate the rectory.

She wanted all our resources
to go where it mattered

Skid Row.
- You've dedicated yourself

to a life of service
to the poor.

What do you think
of the rectory?Objection. Relevance.

- Ms. Lopez.
- The DDA is suggesting

that a nun had motive
to steal money

that was intended
to fix the rectory.

Your Honor.Maybe others share
the same motive.

Like a group nun heist?
Your Honor

It goes
to reasonable doubt.

That's the relevance,
Your Honor.

Overruled.

Sister Miranda,

knowing my client
as you do,

out of all the ushers
and volunteers,

isn't it possible that one
- No.

Uh...

Phoebe says it wasn't her.
You say it wasn't them.

According to Father Vincent,

the only other person who had
access is the accountant.

Sister Miranda, aren't you
the church accountant?

Objection. Sister Miranda
isn't the nun on trial here.

It's a simple question,
Your Honor.

I...

- Maybe it's time
- Hold that thought.

Counsel, approach the bench.

My obligation

is to the fairness
of this process,

not the outcome,
but it appears

your witness was about
to either incriminate herself

or commit perjury.

Fifth Amendment,
Mr. Berger.

I appreciate
Your Honor's wisdom.

- Move to dismiss, Your Honor.
- The charges stand.

I said "either."

You two figure out
which one it is,

and we'll come back
after our lunch recess.

Who knew
nuns could be so dramatic?

I did.

Where's Judge Benner?

There's a long line
of the great unwed

outside her courtroom
waiting to get hitched.

- Apparently, she's late.
- Better not be much longer.

The brides are getting
restless.It's not like her.

Wedding Day's a special day
for Judge Benner.

I always thought the whole
thing was a bit weird.

Well, nice but weird.

I like it very much.
Every other day of the year,

the people
who come to this building

are having one of the worst
days of their lives.

Today we get to be part
of one of the best.

I always knew it.
You're actually all soft inside.

Your Honor

YYour Honor.

Oh.

Going to the clerk's office.
You haven't see me.

Your Honor!

- Where is she?
- I haven't seen her.

Why didn't you let me
submit Miranda

as a character witness?

Because Father Vincent told her
to testify for the prosecution.

Or is it because you didn't
want me to figure out

that she was the one
who actually stole the money?Is that our judge?

INo, I don't Maybe. They
don't usually let them out here.

I think it was her.

Phoebe, why are you taking
the fall for Miranda?

I'm not. I'm standing trial
for a crime I didn't commit.

You don't want to know

what I was doing
on the street.

Sister Miranda...

Sister Miranda brought me
into the church.

Early on, she could have busted
me on a parole violation.

Literally caught me
with my hand in her purse.

But she forgave me.

She saved me.

- That's no reason to
- She's sick.

Sister Miranda won't last
six months in jail.

Off the record,
what is up with your client?

Margo Baxter
is like Katharine Hepburn

stuck in an episode
of "Happy Days."

The Beckett play?

No. The '70s sitcom
set in the '50s.

How old areyou?

My dad used to watch
the reruns.

- Let's make a deal!
- You first.

Three years' probation,

30 days Caltrans
freeway cleanup.

- Oh, that's sweet.
- That's the best I can

Wait. Sweet?

I can picture you
sitting on your daddy's lap

watching TV, eating chips.

- Yeah.
- It's sweet.

- No, that never happened.
- No deal.

Drop the charges.

Your client systematically
lured these men

to the most expensive
restaurants in Los Angeles

with the intent
to extort them for money

in the form of wine, food...
- Those men expected to pay.

That's the thing.
No, they didn't.

Margo invited them.
She made the reservation.

She told them to order
whatever they wanted.

Then she had her fill
of food and drink,

made an excuse, left the table,
and never came back.

She is from an era
when men and women

Are you seriously using
19th century gender norms

as your defense?

Is that your girlfriend?

What? Yeah.

- You make a cute couple.
- Thanks.

Who picked up the tab
on your first date?

Margo Baxter is a grifter,
and you know that.

Ah, I should check in
with the office.

If you promise
not to bogart my sandwich,

I promise to come back
with a real sentencing offer.

Deal?

Okay, babe,
I'll see you inside!

Number 57, ticket, please.

I don't have one.
I'm a judge.

Lola Carmichael,
Department 61.

Did you take a number?

- I did not.
- Then I cannot help you.

I just need to ask you
a couple of questions.

You're not a judge. Judges are
not allowed down here.

Not even a law.
Accepted wisdom.

I left my badge.
It's in my chambers.

Look me up
Judge Lola Carmichael,

Department 61.

Sherri Kansky is my JA.

You're Sherri's judge.
Right.

Right. Funny.
That's so funny.

What's soSorry.
What's so funny?

The way she described you,
I thought you'd be...

What can I do for you,
Your Honor?

I need to ask you
about court costs.

Okay.

Sister Miranda,
I was hoping we could

Sorry.
First, I'm sorry if

if I was a little pushy
when you were on the stand.

You were only doing
your job, Ms. Lopez,

conjuring a defense
for your client.

Were you able to speak
with Mr. Berger, the DDA?

Briefly. I apologized
for any damage

I may have done
to hishis case.

I lost my head a little,

which seems to be happening
these days.

He was very forgiving.

Would you like me
to suggest,

or maybe your church can
help you find, a lawyer?

Am I under arrest?

Sister Miranda,
you need to confess

and return that money
so we can stop this trial.

- Is Phoebe okay?
- She's scared.

And I think she doesn't
want to let you down.

So she didn't send you.

That young woman has
a great faith and a fire.

We're not all
built like that.

Sister Miranda, please.

Will you just come with me
and talk to her?

Phoebe needs your help.

Judge Carmichael needs
to know the truth.

Phoebe, you're innocent.

If Sister Miranda confesses
and returns the money,

there's a chance
no one will be prosecuted.

Phoebe,
maybe we should listen.

No, we're both innocent.

You said all we needed
is reasonable doubt.

Phoebe, why risk this?
You found a home, a life,

and now you're willing
to throw it away.

I have faith.Faith won't get you
acquitted.

No. You will. And our Lord.
I have faith in you both.

I promise you the truth
is your life raft.

Put your faith in the truth.

Miranda, help me.
Trust me.

She isn't guilty of any crime.

That money is for the church,

and the church is the people.

- Right now Sister Miranda is

She's sick, Ms. Lopez.

I'm not going to let you
or Father Vincent

or anyone else
add to her suffering

or hurt her in any way.

You are my lawyer,
and I'm innocent.

I'm instructing you
to defend me.

Afternoon, counselor.

I officiated
my first marriage

and almost delivered a baby
this morning.

- What you been up to?
- LolaUh...

Judge Carmichael, what the hell
are you doing out here?

There's no law that says
that a judge can't go and get

a muffin when she needs one.
- No, there's not. But, uh...

Have you checked out
the court costs lately?

Your Honor, are you sure
this is a good idea?

$28. A penalty of $28
is applied

to every $10 or less
an individual is fined.

Does Sherri know
you're out here?

That's nearly two times
the cost of the fine itself.

I bang my gavel,
and boom,

a $500 fine increases
to $1,400 just like that.

I actually have a preliminary
hearing I need to get to.

- It's not right.
- Can we, uh, can we talk later?

Yeah.
I need to get going, too.

All right.

Aw.

Judge Carmichael.

Judge Carmichael,
I need to talk to you.

You sent my husband
to prison.

Now I got my son
up on charges?I apologize.

I don't know what case
you're referring to.

No kidding. You don't care
what happens to us

because you
in all your wisdom

took his only dad
away from him.

You need to stop yelling.How many lives
you ruined today?

- Come with me.
- Get off of me.

Off of me! Get off of me!

- Come on.
- Stop it! Let me go!

Let me go!

This isn't right.
This isn't right!

Your Honor,
what are you...

I needed to stretch my legs.

Not so sure
that was such a good idea.

So now I'm taking
a breather.

- What's up?
- Long story.

Thanks.

Did you get married
in a church, Your Honor?

We did.

So did we.
Made our vows before God.

I know no one cares

about divorce
or anything anymore.

I know it's
I know the statistics, but I...

I don't...like
breaking my promises.

You didn't break anything,
Emily. He did.

Oh, no. Not to Joe.

You don't have to worry.
I get that. I just...

I-I mean...

To God?

My family? My friends?

I stood up there, and I...

This sounds really weird,
doesn't it?

I think I've just been
hanging out with nuns too much.

Your Honor.

Anyone who knows you
knows you do the right thing.

See you back in court,
Ms. Lopez.

Respect for the institution,
Your Honor.

Ooh.These aren't empty traditions.
They have a purpose,

and youhave been in this
courthouse long enough...

Sherri, can I interrupt
this lecture

to ask you a question?
- As long as we keep moving.

What's the formula for
converting an unpaid fine

into jail time?
- $150 equals 1 day, Your Honor.

So for every $150
in unpaid fines,

I can convert that
to a defendant

spending one day in county jail?
- Correct,

as long as the fine equals
no less than 15 days in jail.

Meaning I can't throw someone
in the slammer

for a parking ticket.
- Eye on the ball, Your Honor.

There is still a rogue nun
to deal with.

I need you to contact
Mr. Owens from this morning.

Tell him I need
to see him back in court.Certainly.

Callan, still salty about lunch?

You gonna charge me
with felony pranking?

- Ha.
- Remind me, how many

of your victims
in the hallway bailed?

A few.Ah. Good thing you didn't
take that bet.

She has expensive tastes.

You should put your client
on the stand.

I'd love to talk to her
when she's under oath.

It's a preliminary hearing,
remember?

That's the part where
you show meall your cards.

And she holds hers
close to her chest.

All rise. Department 61
of the Los Angeles Supreme

That's all right. I think
they know. Sorry for the delay.

I needed to pop over
to Judge Benner's courtroom

and clear out
a few happy couples.

Mr. Callan, what else you got?

Your Honor, the People call
Detective Curtis Perry

to the stand, the lead
investigator in the case.

Ms. Lopez, you may
resume your cross.

Ms. Lopez.
Any more questions?

No further questions,
Your Honor.

Mr. Berger?

Um...

No redirect.
No additional witnesses.

People rest, Your Honor.

Witness may step down.

Thank you.

What's the plan now?

Ms. Lopez, any witnesses?

The defense calls
Sister Phoebe McKenzie

to the stand, Your Honor.
- What?

God helps
those who help themselves.

You're gonna go up there,
and we're gonna convince

the judge
that you're innocent

because you are.
That's the plan.

Felony extortion.

Define extortion for us,
detective.

Obtaining property
by inducing

Obtaining property
by inducing consent

via wrongful use
of force or fear.

I know the law, gentlemen.
This is not a jury trial.

I'd just like to know

how extortion is applied
in this case.

Seems quite novel.

Apply it in this case,
then.

The property,
food and liquor, obtained

by forcing the victim

Objection.
There's no evidence

my client forced anyone
to do anything.

Who did Margo Baxter think
would pay for dinner?

Objection! I have no idea
what she was thinking,

and neither do you.Sustained.
Try again, Mr. Callan.

Detective,
who did the victims tell you

they thought was going to pay?
- The defendant.

She asked them out.
She chose the place.

She made the reservation.

She did the ordering
each and every time.

And what did they tell you
they were afraid of?

Leaving a restaurant
without paying is a crime.

Victims were afraid
they'd be charged

if they didn't pay the bill
in full.

They also feared being
barred from returning.

Oh, boo-hoo. It's L.A.
Find another restaurant.

Ms. Quinn,
will your client pipe down,

or are we moving
into contempt territory?

Thank you.
No more questions.

- Ms. Quinn, care to cross?
- Yes, please.

Detective Perry,
did anyone order you

to investigate
these little tips

that are technically
hearsay?

- No.
- So I'm sorry.

- Why did you do it?
- Because she broke the law.

Right. So-called extortion.

You decided that she was
an evil extortionist.

Objection. Argumentative.Sustained.
Final warning, counselor.

Yes, Your Honor.

Did you tell any of
your colleagues it was because

the alleged perpetrator
was a woman?

I said if a man was doing this,
people would be all over it,

but because it's a woman

rolling over some lonely guys,
it's okay?

So you pursued these
small alleged infractions

because Margo was a woman?

In fact, you targeted my client
becauseshe is a woman.

- Objection.
- Sustained.

When was the last time
you had a date...

Sustained!...since your divorce,
Detective?

Excuse me?

I think I'm done.

Unless you have anything
further, Mr. Callan?

I think we know how this
particular dance will end.

My mom said
that if there was a God,

we'd have cheap rent.

She moved us in
with her boyfriends, mostly.

I left when I was 14.
It was bad on the street.

I was bad.

Got into drugs
for a few years.

Took people's...money,

checks, credit cards.

- You got caught?
- Yeah.

Jail was...

it was bad.
Worse than people think.

How did you end up
with the Church?

I got out,
ended up on the Skid.

Sister Miranda was there

handing out bottled water
and sandwiches.

But she listened, too.

She knew that's what
some of us really needed.

She was soso calm.

I wanted that, too,

so one day
I followed her there.

I wouldn't leave.

Could you pick one word
to describe the Church?

What is it to you?

Love.

It never goes away.

Phoebe, for the record,

did you take that money
from your church?

I'm sorry. Can you
repeat the question?

Did you take that money
from your church?

Phoebe?

- Your Honor.
- I'm guilty!

I need to confer
with my client.

I'm sorry.
I have to tell the truth.

I'mI'm guilty.

I'll tell you
what I just told her.

If this continues,
I will withdraw as her lawyer.

I can't and won't
knowingly ask questions

that will lead
to false answers.

If Sister Phoebe sticks
to this confession,

she is committing perjury
for you.

Are you going
to let her do that?

Congratulations.
You fight dirty.

Also a massive step back
for gender politics.

The cops tried to
bootstrap it into a felony.

Didn't fly.12 victims.
$10,000 of stolen meals.

Maybe seeing the inside
of a jail cell

would have stopped her.

Charges dismissed.
Thank you.

It's not smart
to antagonize a DDA.

Well, it's what
you've been doing.

I've been doing my job.
Prelim's over.

And for the record,

you treated those men
like garbage.

- She has a soul.
- After business hours.

Enjoy your life, Margo,
at Craft or Patina

or wherever
you break a heart next.

- Ah, that's gonna be difficult.
- Why is that?

I've spoken
with all the restaurants

involved in the case.

They've been spreading
the word and your photo.

You're gonna be banned from
all the prime spots in town.

Oh, no.
That can't be legal.

Mm. It is, but feel free
to discuss it

with a different lawyer.
- But...what will I do

with all those
Saturday nights?

You should have thought
about that before.

That was cold.

Too bad we didn't make
that bet. I'm hungry.

- I have plans anyway.
- Right.

She's pretty.

When you're ready
to take meto dinner, call me.

I'll pick up the check.

Mr. Owens, the court
has reviewed your sentence

and has increased your fine
to $2,000.

It was $500 before.

You know,
with this kind of help,

I might as well check
into Men's Central.

Your Honor...

Given the degree
of financial hardship,

the court is prepared to convert
that fine to jail time.

So you're sending me
to jail?

That conversion comes out
to 16 days.

Now, that sentence will
most certainly be reduced

by the sheriff
due to overcrowding.

That and the fact
that an individual usually

only serves 10%
of the conversion time

means you should be
booked and released

within a few hours.

Your Honor, with respect,
I don't understand.

You will be on probation,
Mr. Owens,

but you will be free to go,
and you won't owe us a penny.

That sound fair?

Yes.

Thank you.

- Thank you, Your Honor.
- This is your last chance.

Now, I don't want
to see you in here again

and especially
without a lawyer.

Thank you.

Your Honor.

You

You've been driving around
with $100,000 in your trunk?

No one's gonna break
into this car.

This money was meant
to do better

food, medicine,
housing for the poor.

Not the rectory.

Phoebe was the first
to figure it out.

She refused to...

She protected me.

You still have
It's all here?

Yes. After I took it,
I felt lost.

Well, why
why did you let Phoebe

Because she is innocent.

We both had faith

the justice system
would see that.

I shouldn't have let her.

I got scared of everything,

of dying, of...

dying without the embrace
of my church.

I don't want to leave.

How's it going, Carmichael?

Feeling limber?

Legs stretched enough?

Every day is an adventure.

Mm.

What happened to you today?

Traffic.

For nine hours?

I've always liked
Wedding Day.

When you marry
two people in love, it's...

You don't have
to be impartial.

My whole life,
I've liked weddings.

But I've always felt
on the outside.

I was married once.

Mm. But even then,
they weren't for me.

Since 2013,
I have had the honor

of marrying same-sex couples,
and it's an absolute joy.

Unless it's on the same day
that your girlfriend,

your partner
of four years...

dumps you.

I...

I know when it's a good idea
to take a mental health day,

and it was...

it was a first.

I'm so sorry.

I wasn't gonna implement
Wedding Day

at this courthouse until...

everybodycould take part.

It's the most important thing
I've done in my career.

I have got
some catching up to do.

Hang in there, Carmichael.

This is a privilege,

and you get way more
than you give up.

Your Honor, there is something
you need to know about.

I am satisfied
that the People have proven

that the defendant
committed the crime

beyond a reasonable doubt,

and I find her
guilty on the charge.

But I don't think

a felony conviction
is appropriate.

The money has returned,

and the defendant was honest
about her past

and her commitment
to move forward.

So I will exercise
my discretion

under Penal Code Section 17B

and reduce the charge
to a misdemeanor.

The defendant is placed
on summary probation

for 12 months under
the following conditions

100 hours of community service
with Father Vincent.

So does the defendant accept?

I do.

Then this court is adjourned.

Oh!

Thank you.

You, uh,
you keep your promises

by having faith
in yourself.

God loves you.

Now let's get some people
married!

I'm sorry about today.

I needed to stretch my legs

and almost had them
both broken.

I suggest in the future
a yoga mat in chambers.

That was nimble.

Nimble work there today
with Mr. Owens.

The justice system needs
to stop funding itself

on the backs of defendants.

Is this the dream,
the mass wedding?

Yes.

Yes, it is.

This will be orderly.

This will be simple.
This will be very romantic.

The building closes
in an hour, wedding folks.

Let's get...this...done.

I need everyone
to line up in your pairs.

Orderly, thank you.
Let's get...this...going.

You were hard
to keep up with today.

I had a nun to defend.

Recovering Catholic.
The guilt is brutal.

Hmm.

His mom's ring. Hmm?

- It's nice.
- Mm-hmm.

I am going to go
to Sara's place,

and she is going
to cut off my finger.

That's the only way
I'm gonna get it off.

You have
any dental floss?

Do I have dental floss?
Have you met me?

- Mm-hmm.
- Mm.

Ooh.

May I have your hand?

It's a weird thing to say.

Thank you.

Thanks, Judge.

Just another day in the HOJ.

Judge Laski said you had fun
with Amy Quinn today.

- Fun?
- Mm-hmm.

It was...interesting.

How interesting?

You know what?
I'm not going there.

Look, I'm good.

I'm happy if you're happy.

Are you happy?

Ria is now officially
a brand ambassador,

and we are
going to celebrate.

Smart.

I need to know what's
going on here right now.

Ahh!

Ho ho!

- Yeah?
- Oh, finally.

Uh-huh.

Well, what are you gonna do
with it?

Uh...give it back...

to his mom. Not to him.

- Are you ready?
- Ready.

Welcome, everyone.
I'm so happy to see all of you

and honored that you've
chosen me to bring you together.

We're gonna do things
a little bit differently

at this late hour.

A group celebration of love.