All Creatures Great and Small (1978–1990): Season 7, Episode 13 - Brotherly Love - full transcript

I'm so sorry, Tris.

You know, Frank, it's always the men
with the shoddiest farms

who complain about being too busy.

You have one of the best-kept places
and you've got time for a hobby like this.

I've had a good season, too.
Been to France, Spain and Holland.

Six winners and only lost two birds.

Somewhere along the line,
they've picked up red mite.

Not to worry, I'll give you sulphur powder
to rub onto the feathers. That'll fix it.

I'm sorry to bring you out just to look
at pigeons. It's not much of a job.

Compared to some visits,
coming here's a pleasure.

- Mind you, I did mistime it a bit.
- Eh?

Well, if it had been lunchtime, we could
have sneaked a pint at the Black Horse.

- This is the girl, is it?
- Aye.

Do any of your cattle know which of your
two sons they belong to nowadays?

Poor beasts don't know
where they are.

For years they've come through
that top door for milking,

and gone out through the bottom.

Now Jonathan's have to come in and go
out through this door, and David's t'other.

It's a right shambles, Mr Farnon.

It's a crying shame when a good farm
has to be split up like this.

This is one of Jonathan's.
At least, that's what the lawyers say.

But I still think of them
as all my old William's.

Would you mind holding her up,
Mrs Bradley, while I look into her mouth?

Come on, girl. Come on.

(cow moos)

- Morning, Mr Farnon.
- Good morning, Jonathan.

This beast of yours
has wooden tongue.

- How did she come by that, then?
- Well, it's an infection.

Actinobacillosis - I've treated for it up here
many a time in your father's day.

It's difficult to get rid of
once it takes hold in a farm.

I'm inclined to say to you
that she's a trifle unsettled.

She's a bit confused
with all these changes in her routine.

Cattle never thrive under those conditions.
It makes them vulnerable to infection.

- I'm pleased to see thee, Mr Farnon.
- Good morning to you, David.

I was just about to have a word with your
brother Jonathan on the subject of this...

- division in the byre.
- Oh, aye?

It's ugly, isn't it? It's an outward, visible
sign of the rift between the pair of you.

- Oh, aye.
- It'll be the ruin of this farm, you know.

Aye. Well, thy visit here's
got nowt to do with me.

Right, I'll see thee when tha comes back.
I've work to do, tha knows.

If it weren't for the respect
I have for your mother,

and for the memory of your late father,
I wouldn't come back at all.

You brought a few rosettes
back from the show?

We didn't do so badly.

No surprise.

- They're a credit to you, Frank.
- Just glad to see them doing well.

- Your geese look as fit as ever.
- Aye.

If you're taking Christmas orders,
last year's was delicious.

I can't believe it comes up on us
so quickly, though.

What time did Tristan actually leave
for Grimsdale's?

Mrs Alton said he was on the road
by eight. It's all yours.

- What?
- It's our card for Calum and Deirdre.

- It's the last day for surface mail.
- Oh, yes!

Ah, bless her.

Thank you.

Good morning, everybody.

- Ah, Joe, it's just you?
- Yes, Mr Farnon.

Er... We'll be with you in a moment.

Very well, Mr Farnon.

So that's Clancy's successor, is it?

Yes. Yes, it is.

I really am
rather pushed this morning.

Yes, but you don't have
to be at Colonel Merrick's till ten.

It isn't just a question of getting there,
Helen, it's getting thoroughly prepared.

How long's it take him
to do a simple cleansing?

I do know James has gone
to see Frank Gillard.

Maybe he and Tris have organised lunch
at the Black Horse?

Lunch? My dear girl, do you realise that
it is now nine o'clock in the morning?

(car outside, door closes)

- Tristan!
- Sorry I'm late.

Don't give it another thought.
There's only one client waiting.

- Couldn't you have dealt with them?
- No, I've saved him specially for you.

- (dog growls)
- My God.

That sounds like Clancy.

No, it can't be.

No, it isn't.

But it is Clancy the Second.

An entirely different temperament.

Oh? Then why
didn't you examine him?

Tristan, I know that sometimes you think
my opinion of your professional ability

- suffers from fraternal prejudice...
- I am sorry to interrupt,

but there is someone at the door.

Thank you, Helen. Don't you realise you
are now the expert in Mulligan's eyes?

After all, you breathed the air
of his and Clancy's native heath.

He wants you to do
a complete examination.

I suggest you start
with the near forepaw.

(dog growls)

I only wish it were a suit of armour.

Hello, Joe.
So sorry to keep you waiting.

So this is the new Clancy?

Yes. Yes, that he is.

- He's not a well dog - womiting.
- You do surprise me.

What about the bismuth mag-car mixture?
That always used to do the trick.

Mr Siegfried wants you to give him
a thorough going-over.

Right.

Well, if you just
hold his head steady, Joe,

I'll listen to his chest.

Oh, yes. That sounds fine. Fine.

Well, I'd better
have a look in his mouth.

- Clancy! Clancy...
- Just...

- What on earth are you doing?
- Who's at the door?

Second-hand car salesman
peddling his wares.

Mr Pendlebury? You're quite right,
Siegfried, entirely different temperament.

I was about to embark on some
vigorous palpation of the abdomen.

Perhaps you'd like to carry on
while l...

Yes, thought you'd be
rather taken, sir.

Mr Pendlebury, it's magnificent!

Excuse me, young man.

She must be, without doubt, the finest
example of this famous mark in the world.

I don't doubt it for an instant, but I rather
doubt my ability to meet the asking price.

Think of it as an investment.

A young man with years
of lucrative professional practice ahead.

This, I assure you, will command
that respect from your clients,

which is no more than your due.

Little spin?

Tris, you can't afford this.

Siegfried's always had a soft spot
for the Daimler.

I feel very confident he'll advance me
pretty generous credit terms for this.

Yes, well, I've got a rather good card
up my sleeve.

I'd be very grateful if you'd leave me alone
to play it without undue distraction.

- What? Push off, you mean?
- Isaac Cranford's very anxious for a visit.

I've already got Biggins
this afternoon.

Well, the alternative
is treating Clancy's successor.

- Oh, my God. What's he like?
- Siegfried will tell you,

but he has an entirely
different temperament.

Oh, right. Well, I'll see you later,
if you haven't lost your head.

How can he even consider...

Siegfried, I do think Mr Mulligan
would like to be on his way.

Ah, yes, of course. Well, Joe, it looks as if
my brother is in for a pretty long session.

And since professional etiquette prohibits
me from interfering with a new patient

in mid-examination, you see,

it might be best if I suggest
that you come back on Monday morning.

And I'm sure that Tristan will be available
to give Clancy his undivided attention.

Meanwhile, let's offer him
what relief we can with the old remedy

so tried and trusted
by his predecessor.

I don't know why you don't get a dog
you can cope with - an Irish Terrier.

It could never
pull me up the hill, sir.

Think about it, Joe.

Right.

Good heavens, Siegfried.
Your eyes have gone quite green.

But it must be
above my limit, surely?

Well, just a smidgen, sir.

But you told me yourself
Hammond had grossly underestimated

- the proceeds of selling the Sunbeam.
- Er, yes, but not that much.

It's a very good price, Mr Farnon.

A rare opportunity.

I can think of others
who'd jump at the chance.

All right, I'll just go and...
phone my bank.

Ah, Siegfried,
I see you've finished with Clancy.

I was hoping to be able
to take him off your hands but, as ever,

I've underestimated the facility
with which you can dispatch

even the most intractable of cases.

How much?

Have you seen her, Siegfried?
It was love at first sight.

Absolute symbiosis, guaranteed
to keep me out of other sorts of trouble.

50?

100?

- Two?
- It's an absolute bargain, Siegfried.

It's an absolute white elephant
of an automobile.

You'd do as well to buy yourself
a hole in your pocket.

All right.
I thought you were offering.

- Until when?
- Just until the Sunbeam is sold.

Well, I wish you luck in that direction,

otherwise I shall find myself
the owner of a rather smart Daimler.

Thanks, Siegfried.

See what we pay for these days.

All done with blooming needles.

The wonders of modern science,
Mr Cranford.

Of course, I could always leave you
some of that old boar's ointment to rub in.

- I always knew tha did that on purpose.
- No, it was a genuine mistake.

You got the faeces sample
and the lab got the ointment.

Very impressed with our mixture
they were, too.

Well, I had summat else to say
about working cow shit

into my prize boar's backside
with my fingers.

Yes. Yes, I do remember.

Still, better with needles, eh?

What about this foot-and-mouth?

It's in Lincolnshire now, tha knows.

Needles will do nowt against that,
will they?

Well, foot-and-mouth
is a virus that is very infectious.

The boffins are working day and night,
you know.

But you're quite right.
So far, there is no effective vaccination.

Well, I want none of it among my beasts.
And I shall hold thee responsible if I do.

Well, I shouldn't worry unduly.

We have no cases of it in Yorkshire yet.

And, please God, we never will.

- Two and a half litres, eh?
- That's the famous Daimler philosophy.

Large capacity and low revs,
speed with reliability.

Er...

Let the little blighters wait.

Just trying the brakes.
First class.

You'll need them if you do that every time
a pretty woman hoves into view.

By Jove, what a beauty.

She certainly is, Mr Farnon.
A racing thoroughbred.

- Hello.
- Ah, James.

I need...

to have a word with you
on a rather delicate matter.

- Nothing wrong, is there?
- No, no, no.

Tell me, has Tristan, by any chance,
been touching you for money lately?

- Er, well...
- How much?

Do you know,
I've absolutely no idea.

I leave it to Tris
to do the reckoning up.

- Oh, James.
- No, he's selling your Sunbeam.

And he's promised to discharge
all his debts from the proceeds.

Now, I have reason to believe
that sale may be imminent.

If you have any regard for my financial
perspicuity, my advice to you is

call in those debts
without a moment's delay.

- Really?
- It's entirely for his own good, James.

I promise you that.

- Wooden tongue?
- Yes, one of the Bradleys' heifers.

I suppose I should say
Jonathan's heifer.

- Hello. I believe you know Mr Pendlebury.
- How do you do?

He wants to make me an offer
for the Sunbeam.

That's easier said than done,
Mr Farnon.

- Is there a problem?
- Needed more than a tune-up, she did.

You're a hard-driving man, Mr Farnon.

You've driven yon Sunbeam into t'ground.
It'll cost forever to put right.

She's away having the work done now.

I don't reckon you'll see owt from $80.

But you said it was worth 100.

When I'm finished with her,
she will be.

Ah.

I can see, Mr Farnon,
that you would be the kind of man

to take great care
with a beautiful woman.

Well, a fine motorcar
needs to be cosseted a little, too.

She needs to be wined and dined
on a regular basis.

She needs fine oils
to keep her running sweet

and help her deliver
her peak performance.

And just occasionally, Mr Farnon,

her bodywork could do with
the touch of a fine chamois.

Don't make the same mistake again.

I stand justly rebuked.

I've laid out a fair bit
putting t'car to rights, Mr Farnon.

I can't afford to wait
till the end of the month.

I'll still give you a fair price, Mr Farnon,
when I see the work has been done.

I'm not going to see $100 in cash
by tonight, though, am l?

Hello, Mr Biggins.

So you require veterinary service
of a mysteriously unspecified nature?

Gillard's pigeons -
he races them from France.

- I know he does.
- They're diseased.

I heard it on the wireless.

What?

In France, this foot-and-mouth disease
is endemic.

Endemic.

Those pigeons are transported there
and released to race home.

- I know they are.
- And they bring back

the disease that infects my beasts.

No, they don't.
That's stuff and nonsense.

Well, I was hoping that you were
going to be my witness, veterinary.

It's an old wives' tale, Mr Biggins.

If my beasts have to be destroyed,

the Ministry can't afford the compensation
that I want, so I shall sue Gillard.

You're getting in a state over nothing.

As far as I know,
there is no scientific evidence

to suggest racing pigeons
bring foot-and-mouth to this country.

And, as a matter of further interest,
those pigeons are wood pigeons.

- Then I can shoot 'em.
- You don't need to shoot them.

I don't know that I can
take that risk, veterinary.

Wait, please. Wait till I check it out
with the Ministry.

- Ministry knows nowt!
- Mr Big...

(horn blares)

Now I shall sue thee and all!

Hell's bells!

Look at this.

The gate was blocked by a thresher.

Now, if that was put there deliberately
to cause an obstruction,

the person responsible's
going to have to answer to me.

That'll be yon blackguard
brother of mine.

You say he left it there on purpose,
to be bloody-minded?

Summat of that, Mr Farnon.

Well, I'm telling you now,
if this sort of thing goes on,

you'll have to look elsewhere in the future
for the veterinary care of your animals.

Don't you worry, Mr Farnon,
it won't happen again.

Ever!

I don't know, Mr Farnon,

they were always such loving brothers
when their father was alive.

His solicitor has the cheek to tell me

I haven't the right to walk up the lane
I've walked up all my life.

Hold on a minute, Davy,
there's Tristan Farnon.

He must have had more solicitors' letters
than all the rest of us, isn't that right?

Well, I may walk a little on the wild side,
but always, I hope, within the law.

See? He's gone to the law
and tells me I cannot use my lane.

No, David, what his lawyer says is
you can only use the east side of the lane.

Oh, well, that means I can only get
half a tractor up at a time, doesn't it?

- That would seem to be the case, yes.
- What darn use is that to a man?

Am I supposed
to work my farm on a bicycle?

Do excuse me, but I have
a little business to attend to. Pint, Sam.

Bert. Good news, I hope.
Hi, Growler.

- Had a bad day, have you, Bert?
- As it happens, we did very nicely.

Which is more than
I can say for you.

Well, what about Sun Chariot in the 1 :30?
It was 7-2.

Unplaced, I'm afraid, Mr Farnon.

- It was a sure-fire winner.
- Not today it wasn't.

Well, in the two o'clock
I had Fleet Wind.

You did, but you backed him to win.
He only managed third.

Damn!

Surely Hot Foot came good
in the three o'clock? It was firm favourite.

- Don't tell me it was nobbled.
- A most remarkable race for outsiders.

Charmed Life, first at 33-1 .

Gum Tree second at 25.
High Hopes third at 18.

Somebody made a lot of money
out of that race, Mr Farnon.

But it wasn't you.

Well, I'd like to buy you a drink, Bert,
but, you know.

No. I've had all the drink
I need for today, lad.

But I'd like the account settled
by the end of the week.

Seven pound...
12 shillings...

and sixpence.

Cheers.

Afternoon, Jonathan.
I wonder if I can have a quick word?

- Not now. I've got something to do.
- Don't you think you're taking this too far?

It's not a veterinary matter, Mr Herriot, so
I'd thank you to mind your own business!

Actually, he does look a bit peaky,
don't you think, Bert?

Oh, yes, definitely a bit off-colour.

Why don't you bring him into the surgery
and I'll give him a thorough checkup?

Maybe we could come
to some arrangement.

There's nowt wrong.
He's just doing what he's trained for.

- And what's that?
- Sniffing out bad debtors

to make sure they pay
if they know what's good for them.

He'll be as right as rain as soon as
you come across with the cash.

(men shouting)

- I want a word with thee!
- Just think about this!

Hang on a minute! If there is going to be
a contest, at least let's keep it civilised.

That's no weapons,
jackets off and bare fists,

and rules according
to the good old marquis.

- For God's sake, Tris!
- I've got to place a bet.

Jonathan's bigger, but I fancy David
to get under his guard.

Don't encourage them!
It's disgraceful.

I'll be disgraced
if I can't clear my debts. Hang on.

What will you give me?
10-1 on the little fella?

Little fella?
Even the little fella's a big fella.

Oh, come on. Be a sport.
Double or quits on what I owe you.

- Gentlemen, please.
- Out of the way, I've a score to settle!

- I've got him.
- Come on, Bert!

- Nowt doing. Not when you're owing.
- But when the fight's over, I'll be rich!

You're on a winning streak,
it's your lucky day. You said so yourself!

- That's right. Quit when you're ahead.
- But I'm not!

Let me be charitable,
save you money.

- You'll regret this.
- We'll see.

Come here! Come on!

(men shout and cheer)

(James) This is no way
to settle your differences!

Stop! Stop it!

You! Right, I'm having you now!
Come on!

Tristan!
You'll regret this, you know!

James, you don't have to stop this.

Just make sure it's done right and proper.
Let nature take its course.

Bert, if you're ready to open the book,
the contestants are ready for the off.

- It's double or quits on Davy.
- It's Goole! PC Goole!

Break it up!
What's going on here?

Hello, Constable.
Just a bit of sport.

Don't stop me now.
Take me once I've mashed the beggar!

Take no notice, Officer.
Just part of the fun.

Up you come.

Right, Mr Herriot, you look sober,

so I'll thank you for an explanation
as to what's going on.

Yes, of course.
Well...

Right!

I'm nicking both of you
for breach of the peace.

Here we are, lads. This is as far as we go,
I'm afraid, because of the blocked lane.

Very grateful, Mr Herriot.

I'm sorry for
all the trouble I've caused.

Very kind of you, Mr Herriot. And I'm sorry
for all the trouble he's caused.

All right, all right!
Out of the car now!

Do you see what I mean, Mr Herriot?

You realise you'll probably
both get five years?

- Five years?
- Not prison? Will we?

Unquestionably. I shall speak
to the magistrate myself.

It'll do you both good.
Give you a long, long time to think.

You see, it's all right for you, James.
You're married. You're settled, secure.

Look at me. I'm single. All alone.
I need more disposable income.

You have no responsibilities,
not a care in the world.

I'm browbeaten and badgered
in my own home.

You're positively pampered.

You get your shirts ironed for you,
shoes cleaned, bed made.

Very comfortably, as it happens.
All you have to do is lie in it.

Which you do with dedication.

Now you're being unfair.
You simply don't understand.

Mrs A's been appointed by my brother
to wage a moral crusade on my pleasures.

Mrs A dotes on you.

I can't take any more of this self-pity.
I'll get you another one.

- Sam, two more of the same, please.
- Right you are, Mr Herriot.

- Thanks a lot.
- James, I've got to keep my end up.

I'm still in the hunt.
I've got to keep the hook well baited.

Is it any wonder I'm living
beyond my means?

Bert Grimes is awaiting payment
at the end of the week.

- You've always been a good customer.
- As far as bookies are concerned,

a good customer pays up -
the moment you can't,

you're a bad debtor
and it's out with the frighteners.

That's a bit dramatic.
No, Bert would never do anything.

It's not Bert, it's Siegfried.
I've got to pay him back by tonight.

I shall have to sell the Daimler.

Helen thinks that Siegfried's
interested in it himself, actually.

Well, you'll get a good price for it.

Never!

You've got a right shiner there,
veterinary.

I had to stop that old beggar
killing pigeons today.

Why on earth...

He's got some stupid idea they carry
foot-and-mouth from France. Exactly.

Mr Farnon.

- You're not after any money, are you?
- No, just some of your time.

My name's Barry Stokes.
I've recently moved here,

and I've take over
as captain of the bell-ringers.

I understand from Mr Biggins you used
to be quite an active member of the team.

Well, more active on the outings
than the actual ringing, actually.

Thank you. By the way,
this is my partner, James Herriot.

- How do you do, Mr Herriot?
- How do you do?

- Are you a lapsed ringer too?
- Absolutely not.

Pity. Still, I hope I can persuade you
to take up the exercise again, Mr Farnon.

Just that the recast tenor bell is coming
back from Whitechapel for Christmas,

and I hope to mark the occasion
with a full peal.

- That will be splendid, won't it?
- We're having a practice tonight.

I wondered if you
might like to join us.

I find that work takes up
pretty much all my time at the moment.

You don't need money to ring bells, Tris.
And it's a service to the community.

He couldn't ring a peal
to save his life.

- To tell you the truth, Mr Stokes...
- Barry, please.

..my life's just too hectic
at the moment.

The invitation stands,
and we'd be delighted to see you

anytime you felt like
changing your mind.

I must be off, I'm afraid. I must pick up
Miss Marston and then open up the tower.

I'll see you later, Mr Biggins.
Bye.

Bye.

Miss Marston?

She is the new schoolteacher.

I don't hold with women ringing bells.

I think you might be right, James. I think
it's time I did my bit for the community.

Don't overreach yourself, veterinary.

There's not but six places
for the Christmas peal, you know.

I think I'll pop in later
and have a word with... Barry?

Mm.

Oops. Sorry.

Rounds, everyone.

And stand.

Hello. I'm Tristan Farnon.
We haven't been introduced.

But we did meet memorably
on the road this afternoon.

Linda Marston.

Hello again.
Glad you decided to give it a go.

Tristan here is a stalwart of the old team.
We met in the pub.

Oh, I see.

He were no blooming use, though.
He never could get the hang of grandsire.

Beyond hunting treble, that is.

What Mr Biggins doesn't realise
is that during my time in Ireland,

- I was scarcely out of the belfry.
- Well, would you like to take a turn?

Er... Well, I would be
dreadfully out of practice.

Actually, I'd be very happy
just to watch.

You've got to
make a start sometime.

You take the No.2 and just follow Linda
until you find your feet again.

- Right. Yes, of course.
- Good man.

All right, everybody.
Let's go again.

Sorry about the eye.
Just a temporary disfigurement.

Battle scars
collected in the line of duty.

Would you care to take the fifth,
Mr Biggins?

No, thank you very much, lad.
I shall be sitting this one out.

I want to watch the fun.

Everybody ready, then?

Here we go.

She'll not take
much more of that, lad.

Whoa!

- (Barry) Let go of the rope!
- Argh!

Oh, dear, I am sorry.
Any damage?

Just turned my ankle. Would someone like
to check if there are any broken bones?

That's it for tonight, I'm afraid.

(Biggins) So it's back to the Drovers then
and Mr Farnon will pay for all the drinks.

I think that's unnecessarily harsh.

Well, it's traditional. The man
who breaks the stay pays for the drinks.

But first time out?
I think he's excused.

Go and have a drink on me, and we'll
join you when the first aid's done.

- I don't think anything's broken.
- Are you sure? It does hurt rather.

Yes, if you'll excuse me,
I'll just check on the damage upstairs.

There's always a slight danger the broken
stay might land on one of the clock wires.

Look, I've made
the most terrible fool of myself.

And you've been so kind.
I really don't deserve it.

Barry shouldn't have encouraged you
to ring when you've had so much to drink.

- Were you celebrating something?
- No.

Er... well, yes.

In a way,
I think it's been my lucky day.

Really? With a black eye
and now a sprained ankle?

Well, I've met you.

I'd like to make it up to the rest
of the team by repairing the damage.

I don't suppose you could give me
a bit of secret help?

Well, it would certainly be nice to have it
repaired before next week's practice.

Wednesday is games afternoon.
I have some free time then.

Wednesday's my day off.

(Frank) Came in morning post.
Is it true?

- It's impossible.
- Are you sure?

If there's any doubt,
I'll do away with them now.

I like my birds, but if they're a threat to
my cows or anyone else's, no question.

- When were they last in France?
- Well, season ends in July.

That's four months.

The longest they've found the virus active
is 91 hours after the infection.

You put the birds in baskets on the train
and release them just before the race.

And they don't set foot again
until they're back in the loft.

Well, how on earth
could they have picked something up, eh?

You're right, but I've never had
a poisoned pen letter.

I'm damn sure
you won't get another one.

- How are they anyway?
- The mites cleared up nicely, but...

Don't even think about it. If the boffins
change their minds about racing pigeons,

you'll be the first to know.

Do you like my birthday present?

She's beautiful.
What are you going to call her?

- Elizabeth.
- Yes.

Well, she is a regal-looking beast,
isn't she?

- Hello, Angela.
- Morning, James.

- Many happy returns.
- Thank you.

- Will you look after her if she gets sick?
- Yes.

With the help of a good nurse,
of course.

I know nowt about any letter,
veterinary!

Yes, maybe. But I bet you've been free
with the gossip at the Drovers.

Foot-and-mouth is bad enough
without you spreading rumours

which are entirely without foundation,
scientific or otherwise.

I heard it on t'wireless,
but I never wrote any letter.

Look, just you leave me
to settle this in my own way.

Mr Biggins!
I hope this never happens to you.

Right, Joe. If you just hold his head
very firmly, I'll take his temperature.

It's all right, Clancy.
It's all right.

- You all right, Joe?
- Aye, fine. He often throws me around.

The problem here, Joe,
is that I really had intended

to get to the bottom of the womiting...
vomiting thing today.

Record the pulse
and respiratory rate.

Auscultate the chest,
thoroughly palpate the abdomen,

obviously check inside the mouth,
teeth, gums, pharynx.

Check the condition of the skin,
catheterise him and examine the urine.

I don't think he'd like that at all, sir.

No.

Dope, Joe, dope.
That's the answer.

Tell you what, why don't you
bring him back on Wednesday,

and I'll make sure
there's sufficient help.

Biggins is a scoundrel, James,
but he may well be right about the letter.

Foot-and-mouth rumour is rife.

Well, probably.
He's much too mean to pay the postage.

Unlike this army of poor tradesmen
pleading with my brother to pay his bills.

(dog growls)

(whispers) He's been avoiding me
ever since he defaulted on my loan

for the Daimler.

In fact, I'd be grateful for your assistance
in a pincer movement. You pop in there.

- Hello, Mr Mulligan.
- Ah, Mr Herriot.

If Mr Herriot gave us a hand,
we could set to now, sir.

Actually, I can't stop. I just popped in to...
It's a bit of an emergency, I'm afraid.

I know, why don't you try Clancy on...
here we are ..old faithful?

I've a pantry full of that stuff at home.

It was only last Friday
Mr Siegfried gave me another bottle.

Did he really? Yes, well, let's stick to the
original plan, Joe. See you on Wednesday.

- Bye, Mr Mulligan.
- Bye-bye.

- I say, Siegfried's a bit late back, isn't he?
- Is he?

Look, James, I do have
hundreds of urgent calls to make.

You wouldn't mind taking over here?
There's no one out there at the moment.

- I've got to go and see the Whitbys.
- Well, I'll do them.

- Will you really? All right, thanks.
- Thanks, James.

Tris.

As ever, James.

$200 in cash, if you please.

I've been meaning to speak to you.

- Have you?
- Yes. I was going to request,

as we're approaching the season of
goodwill, you might look upon my plight

with a measure of Christmas spirit.

You owe money to me, to James,
to Mrs Alton's suppliers, to Bert Grimes,

and to heaven knows how many other
unfortunate hoodwinked creditors. Bill.

I will be the first to admit that
I do have a temporary cash-flow crisis.

You give the impression, my dear brother,
of suffering from terminal insolvency.

- Bill.
- But...

Bill.

Goodness, does nobody write to you
without asking for money? Bill.

Siegfried, l...

You will settle all your debts in full
by Christmas morning,

or I, as principal creditor,
will claim the Daimler as my own.

- Are you offering me a deal?
- Grace it with what euphemism you wish.

But James is here to bear witness
to a binding contract.

- Absolutely.
- Thank you, James.

Thank you, Siegfried.

Now, tell me, how did you progress
with Clancy this morning?

Well, unfortunately,
Joe Mulligan himself

was in no fit state to assist
with the examination and...

Bill.

..although Clancy the Second
has an entirely different temperament,

I thought the best approach
was to dope him, a two-man job,

so I asked him back on Wednesday.

Wednesday?
My surgery, is it not?

And what better man for the job? Since
you've built up such a good relationship.

- Wednesday's your day off, isn't it, Tris?
- As it happens, yes, James.

But I thought you could give Siegfried
the benefit of your invaluable experience.

This is interesting. Jonathan Bradley's
been summoned to appear

before Broughton Magistrates' Court
on a charge of breach of the peace.

And his solicitors have written to me
to ask me to be a character witness.

Oh.

This coming Wednesday.

Yes, indeed.

Good heavens.

Messrs Alnutt,
Farquhar & Grove solicitors,

acting on behalf of Mr David Bradley,

requesting me to appear at the same time
on behalf of their client.

- The same Wednesday, James?
- Yes.

It's our bound duty
to respond to these summonses.

Indeed it is, and we'll need someone
to look after the surgery.

- Oh, yes, indeed.
- No. No, it's impossible.

I've already made personal arrangements.
Absolutely unbreakable.

"T Farnon Esq, from Messrs
Hammond & Sons Motor Engineers."

"Invoice for the overhaul and service
of Sunbeam Talbot coupé."

84 pounds, 16 shillings
and eightpence?

Well, I suppose
you may have the eightpence.

My dear brother, you won't have cash
in hand for days off for months to come.

In any case, you do too much gallivanting
about in that thirsty vehicle of yours.

And I have a strong suspicion
Hammond is poised

to cut off your credit
in the very near future.

- But Siegfried...
- We'll have to leave Clancy to your care.

Sometimes I have a great understanding
for how the Bradley brothers feel.

Morning, Joe.
Come in.

- Where's Clancy?
- I just wanted to let you know he's fine.

For sure, you've picked up the gift
of healing from across the water.

Well, I'm delighted to hear it, Joe.
And thanks very much for telling me.

Must dash.

Good heavens, you're not going up
in the belfry dressed like that, are you?

Linda, it's lovely to see you.
You look wonderful.

I thought we might
have some lunch first.

Let's see how the work goes,
shall we?

We haven't got
as much time as I thought.

They've arranged a staff meeting
after lunch.

- I have brought the car, actually.
- You can leave that here.

It's only a couple of minutes' walk
down the road. Come on.

I would like to give you an example
of just how close these brothers were.

I recall David telling me once
that he had a feeling

that his brother was in difficulty
with a premature calving.

Well, that phrase
had a very authentic ring.

I shall be the judge
of its authenticity, Mr Herriot.

Go on.

Well, David was as sure of this feeling as
if his brother had actually telephoned him.

I knew I could be setting off
on an arduous trek

which could prove to be
a complete waste of time.

But David was right.

I followed him up to Gill Fell, where
we did indeed find Jonathan in trouble.

A very touching tale, Mr Herriot.

Can we believe a word of it?

- Have you been in the belfry before?
- Er, yes.

So you do know how dirty
we're going to get?

It really doesn't matter at all.
It's just wonderful to be here with you.

Oh, I love this old clock. Nearly
200 years old and still going strong.

Think of all the merely human winders
who've been and gone.

Makes you realise, Linda,
how little time we do have.

- "Time's wingéd chariot" and all that?
- Exactly.

"Had we but world enough, and time,
This coyness, lady, were no crime."

Now, there's a poem
with a lot to answer for.

You do look wonderful in this light.

Come on, we've got work to do.

I hope we're not going to have any
veterinary fairy tales from you, Mr Farnon.

Not at all, Your Worship. But if I may have
Your Worship's permission,

I should like to quote a few words
from the Good Book

on the subject of the loves
of David and Jonathan,

after whom these two brothers
were so aptly named.

Now, as everybody knows, David slew
the giant Goliath with a single pebble,

thus single-handedly saving Israel
and putting the Philistine army to flight.

And in so doing, he earned
the undying brotherly love of Jonathan.

And in the 18th chapter
of I Samuel we learn:

"And it came to pass that the soul of
Jonathan was knit with the soul of David

and Jonathan loved him as his own soul."

You are standing in the witness box
of my court, Mr Farnon.

Not at the church lectern.

Yes, indeed, Your Worship,
but it also came to pass

that the undying brotherly loves
of David and Jonathan Bradley

became a byword
in our Darrowby community.

And it was their father's earnest wish
that upon his death

these loving brothers
should divide their inheritance,

but, unfortunately, they fell prey
to certain predatory vultures

of the otherwise unimpeachable
legal profession.

Just as surely
as the biblical David and Jonathan

fell prey to the jealousies
of the king of Israel.

Well, we are not here to judge
the late king of Israel, Mr Farnon.

But your sentiments
are appreciated.

You're terribly good at all this.

I wouldn't know where to start.

Well, it's good of you
to make the effort.

I felt such a fool the other night.

You were a fool the other night.

But I rather liked you for it.

You didn't just take pity on me?

No.

Let me give you a hand.

Oh, Lord, are you...

all right?

Oh, good morning.

What an oblique approach.

Falling back on holy writ, however,
made a welcome change for the bench.

My friend and partner, James Herriot.
Major Wakeman.

- How do you do, Herriot?
- Major.

God knows why they ever made you
a magistrate. You're beyond the law.

That's the point.
They couldn't face the consequences

of hauling me up before the bench,
so they made me sit on it.

- Well, I'm delighted.
- Yes, indeed, Hereward. Thank you.

Afternoon, Edge. Con.

This is Miss Marston,
the new schoolteacher.

Oh, aye?

This is Edge Pickles and Con Fenton.

- How do you do?
- What can I do for you, then, Mr Farnon?

Well, I was hoping you could cut me
a new stay for one of the bells.

- I rather overdid it on Friday night.
- I know. I heard it go. Bloody racket.

Happen we'll get a bit of peace
of a Sunday morning now, eh?

Well, I was hoping you could do it
right away, Edge.

You see, the team are practising
for the Christmas peal

and I've rather set them back
with this accident.

Look, I know you've been a bit upset
by the bells in the past,

but with new talent like Miss Marston
in the team, they'll be a joy to hear.

Not in my house, they won't.

I could always take it to Broughton.
I thought you'd like the business.

The sleep I'd lose,
hardly worth my while.

Besides, I've got these shoes
to make for Con's mare.

Well, I think I could
make it worth your while.

Has tha money to burn then, lad?

Make it a quid.
With two bottles of stout for me,

and two more for Con there,
for him having to wait for his shoes.

Primogeniture - the first-born
takes the inheritance.

- That's the natural order of things.
- Couldn't disagree with you more.

The natural order says
the strongest should take all.

In my opinion, the brothers were on
the right track preparing to slug it out.

Just a pity that fool of a constable
had to intervene.

- That's the law of the jungle.
- Any objections?

Yes, yes, Hereward.
I'm afraid I agree with James.

The first-born inherits not only the goods,
but also the responsibility.

That's why I regard it
as my solemn duty

to see that my younger brother
is well provided for.

- 100 guineas tha's cost me!
- It's 100 tha's cost me.

If thou'd done what father's will said
without running for a bloody lawyer...!

- It were thee as went first!
- Silence in court!

- Do you want to go to prison?
- You want me to go for perjuring myself?

Do you want me to go to prison for telling
a pack of lies about your good character?

There'll be no more of this
from either of you, do you see?

These bills represent a very small fraction
of what your quarrel would have cost you.

You invited lawyers who are little better
than robbers to plunder as they pleased.

Of course there's a price to pay!

You can start by buying a drink for this
good magistrate here who let you off.

And then drinks, if you please,
for your two principal witnesses.

Do you have to attend
this wretched staff meeting?

Yes, I must.
And you must take surgery.

(engine fails)

- I suppose we've run out of petrol?
- Yes, as a matter of fact we have.

Look, I've got a great idea.

Why don't we just try and keep warm
until help arrives?

Help, Tristan, is half a mile down the road
at Hammond's garage.

l, for one, can walk there from here.

Linda!

Yes, Mr Grimsdale.
Between 10 and 1 1 tomorrow.

I'm sorry, I've got to go.
I've got an emergency here.

(drunken singing)

- Hello, Helen.
- Had a successful day, I see?

- Hello, darling.
- Hello, Mrs Alton.

Mrs Alton, coffee.
Hot and strong, please.

Just a moment, Linda.

Mr Farnon has had the misfortune
to run out of petrol, Mr Hammond.

- Would you be so kind as to...
- Can't do it, miss.

- Why ever not?
- You know I'm under strict orders.

- But surely...
- (Linda) Excuse me, gentlemen.

I'll have to leave you to settle this between
yourselves. I have a staff meeting.

Grand lass is that. Teaches my nippers.
Think the world of her, they do.

Any time one of the clients wants
a character reference, you'll oblige?

Reputation will demand it.

The Bradley brothers bought you
one or two drinks by way of celebration?

Well, it would have been
churlish to refuse.

Absolutely, James.
I had to persuade him, though, Helen.

He spent the entire day
feeling desperately guilty

about the amount of work
we'd left for poor Tristan.

Well, evidently, it has got the best of him,
because the waiting room is crowded

with clients hoping for the appearance
of a veterinary surgeon.

- I knew it.
- Preferably one that can stand.

As a matter of fact, where is he?
It's nearly five o'clock.

He's been unavoidably detained.

When is that brother of mine
going to learn a sense of responsibility?

Before you say something
you might regret, Mr Farnon,

can I just say that,
while you and Mr Herriot

have been carousing
in Broughton alehouses,

Mr Tristan's been engaged
in the services of the Lord.

What?

He's been fixing a new stay
to one of the church bells.

Tristan?

In the belfry?
He wouldn't know where to begin.

Well, I expect
he had some assistance.

Who from?
Edge Pickles wouldn't touch the job.

Apparently, that new schoolteacher
is a person of resource and skill.

- She's a woman.
- Naturally.

Oh, good grief.

- You have a lot to answer for.
- Me?

Have you any idea
what I have been through today?

After an ungodly early start
to fit in the ludicrous number of visits

which you and James maliciously
arranged for what was my day off,

after fearlessly dealing with Clancy
in the surgery this morning,

and after spending my lunch hour in
the quite voluntary service of the church,

I have had the misfortune,
whilst going about my legitimate duties

in the back of beyond,
to run out of petrol.

How I am supposed to function as
a partner in this practice without petrol,

particularly today, when I'm
the only functioning partner,

I simply cannot imagine.

As it is, I'm sure poor Helen
and the valiant Mrs Alton

have spent most of the afternoon
fielding enquiries from unattended clients,

while you clearly
have been pickling yourselves

- in open defiance of the licensing laws.
- Tris...

I'm sure that you were
an unwilling partner

to this litany, debauchery
and dereliction of duty.

However, I shall require you to bear
witness to the shameful transgression

of the natural laws of brotherhood
when we return to it

in the cold light and sobriety
of the morning.

In the meantime, I shall leave you
to the ministrations of Mrs Alton's coffee,

while I attend to our long-suffering clients
in the surgery.

Well, I can only hope that your courting
has been as successful as ours.

(James laughs)

Oh, dear man.

And wonderful coffee, Mrs A.
Thank you so very much.

- I've never seen him like that, James.
- (Helen) Shh!

(man on radio) The outbreak of
foot-and-mouth is spreading northwards.

Fresh outbreaks were reported today
in the county of Yorkshire,

including the first in the North Riding.

I heard about it on t'wireless.

You thought the wooden tongue
might be foot-and-mouth?

Aye, that's right.

If it does turn out to be the case, your
entire stock will have to be destroyed.

Aye, that's what we're afraid of.

You'd both better understand this.

It won't matter if you spend the last penny
you have on the most expensive lawyers

to determine where your blessed
boundaries should be drawn.

Foot-and-mouth won't take notice. It's the
most contagious disease known to man.

And if either of your legally separated
herds should be infected,

then both will have to be destroyed.

Right. Let's take a look.

Right, my pretty.

Come on.

These are not vesicular lesions.

It's just as I thought.
It's wooden tongue.

It'll take some time to clear
after the injection.

- Now, then, David, where's your beast?
- Up the top end, Mr Farnon.

Get me a bucket of water,
soap and a towel, if you please.

- Is this the one?
- Aye, that's the one there, Mr Farnon.

- When do you reckon she's due?
- I have her down for 20 December.

Make a right nice Christmas present
will that, Mr Farnon, eh?

Yes, you'd be about right, I think.

She's got a touch of mastitis.

I'll leave you something for that.

Your father was well advised
to move over into Friesians, wasn't he?

Oh, aye. They're good milkers
and they do the job well.

That's why we keep 'em.

I'm surprised they haven't
taught you to see more clearly,

to tell the difference
between black and white.

Now, then, so far in this epidemic,
there have been 61 1 outbreaks,

with 85,000 animals slaughtered.

Nothing on vaccinations?

The problem is there are
three main types of virus - A, O and C.

Vaccination against one type doesn't
necessarily immunise against the others.

Immunity only lasts
from four to eight months,

so with a national population
of cattle, sheep and pigs of 35 million,

you're looking at that many vaccinations
each year. It's not feasible.

- (phone rings)
- I'll get it.

Thank you for keeping us
up to date.

Keep her away from the others.
I'll be with you in 20 minutes. Right.

- Sorry, Frank, there's no doubt about it.
- How did she get it?

If we knew that,
we'd be able to eliminate it.

One thing you can put out of your mind
is pigeons.

- I can hardly bear to look at 'em.
- You just leave them be.

So I have to lose the lot, then?

Without stamping it out, the whole herd
will just go down and down.

The milk yield will fall off,
continual lameness, stillbirths, abortions.

- Imagine that on a nationwide scale.
- Yeah, but why?

All I do know is we've got to get rid
of the lot now and then start afresh.

- There's 15 years of work in these.
- I do know that, Frank.

What am I going to tell Angie?
And Mary? Her Elizabeth?

I know. I can't think of anyone
who deserves this less than you.

No one deserves this, James.
No one.

I just can't take it in.

Hello, love.

May I go and play with Sally?
We've arranged it at school.

Of course you can.

Bad news, love.

There's the telephone, James.

I'm ever so sorry.
Frank did really well to spot it so soon.

We've lived in dread of this.

- Mummy, what's wrong?
- Come on, let's get you off to High Top.

I know it might seem best
for Mary to be out of the way,

but I have to insist that no one
leaves the farm till this is all cleared up.

Mummy, what's the matter?

Mr Herriot's got to make
a very important telephone call,

so we'll go next door
and give him some peace.

Yes, thanks.

Is that the Ministry?
The chief veterinary officer, please.

Oh, really? Right, well, would you say
that it's James Herriot from Darrowby.

I'm ringing from Low Scar Farm.

Low Scar. That's right.

I want to report a suspected outbreak
of foot-and-mouth.

There's no doubt about it.

Thank you
for your quick notification, Herriot.

I'll just have a word with Gillard.

- You've explained the procedure?
- He just wants to get it over quickly.

If we start now,
we can get it done before dark.

Yes. Right.

Mr Roberts is on the phone
from the Yorkshire Examiner.

Someone's tried to sell him a story about
Frank's cows being infected by pigeons.

- Who?
- I don't know. He wouldn't say.

Let me speak to him.

- He's taking it well.
- He's taking it hard.

He just doesn't let it show.

He's a good farmer,
one of the best.

One thing you can say for
the foot-and-mouth virus,

it's no respecter of quality.

- You've done the best thing you could.
- Digging my own grave?

It's like doing your own surgery.

You cut out the infected area, clean the
wound, wait for it to heal, then start again.

I don't think I'll stay around
for the bonfire.

- You've done well, Frank.
- You do what you've got to do, don't you?

- How soon before it's safe to restock?
- Four to six weeks.

Depends on the condition of the farm.

A place like this, once it's been
thoroughly disinfected, about a month.

Well, we can rely on Frank
not to leave it like this.

He'll get through every drain and ditch.

Last year I saw several farmers
just give up.

- Is it all over now, Daddy?
- Yeah. Yeah. I suppose so.

When will I be able
to get another calf?

Frank.

Frank.

You'll get started again.
I know you will.

Ah, James.

- What are you drinking?
- I'm not yet, but I'll certainly join you.

I found out who was responsible
for the poisoned pen letter.

Mr Biggins?

Isaac Cranford.

Right.

What are you doing here?
I've heard about Gillard's

and I don't want thee
spreading infection.

For 16 years,
I've put up with your meanness,

but I couldn't believe you'd ever
do anything as malicious as this.

- I don't know what tha's talking about.
- That letter you wrote to Frank Gillard!

- I've writ no letter, veterinary.
- My God!

You wouldn't know honesty
if it kicked you up...

That letter was vile and it was malicious,
but most important, it was wrong.

Gillard's herd was infected.
Not by his pigeons, which are harmless.

But by a bit of paternal generosity
you couldn't begin to understand.

Last week, he bought a calf
for his daughter for her birthday.

Tragically, that calf was infected.

Now he's lost the entire stock.

Well, in times like these,
he should have been more careful.

I wouldn't wish what happened to Gillard
on anyone, not even you.

Now, as much as I hate to admit it,
I need your help.

I'm calling on you as representative
of the National Farmers' Union,

and I want you to gather your members
and impress upon them

the necessity of observing
the disinfection routines

and restrictions on movement of stock
and vehicles which have been imposed.

- Hello, Mary.
- Tristan.

Excuse me.

It's quite an occasion.

I suppose you've been rushed off your feet
with this foot-and-mouth.

Fortunately, it seems to be abating
after the initial shock to Frank Gillard.

We've been very lucky.

She seems brighter.

She's beginning to talk about
having a new calf.

Will you have more time
to take up the bells again?

Everyone was very pleased
with the new stay.

Oh, really?

Barry's trying to pick the best team
to attempt the peal on Christmas morning.

With a bit of practice,
I'm sure you'd qualify.

- I say...
- If young Mr Farnon's in the team,

that peal will fail,
take it from me.

Oh, I'm sure he can do it,
Mr Biggins.

What? With a lass like you
to take his mind off t'job?

Quite a mischief-maker.

Well, there may be something
in what he says.

Look, Linda, could we have a chat
about the peal over lunch sometime?

Or maybe even dinner?

Doesn't that depend, Tristan, on whether
your petrol difficulties are resolved?

Mr Farnon. Mr Farnon.

It's the Daimler, my dear boy.

The Daimler is at the bottom
of your financial malaise.

It's a fantasy you could
never begin to afford.

But, come Christmas morning,
I will relieve you of that burden.

About Christmas,
I'd like to make family plans,

so if we could settle
who's on duty on Christmas Day?

Ah, yes, of course.
The traditional drawing of lots.

I thought we might avoid that. I've been
landed with it for the past three years.

James, tradition has always been
the basis of our present strength.

You yourself will prepare the lots
and we'll all take it like men.

Ah, the gods justly taking care of
the senior partner. Come on, Tristan.

We all know the gods look kindly on you
whenever there's a game of chance.

Yes! My luck has changed for Christmas!
I'll be able to pay you back yet, Siegfried.

- I'm left with the short one again.
- There you are.

The gods don't decide these
weighty matters on a mere whim.

- What do you say, Tristan?
- As ever, James.

(both) It couldn't happen
to a nicer chap.

- Hello, James.
- By heck, Frank, this is marvellous.

Well, Ministry vet said
four to six weeks.

It'll be six weeks come Christmas
and I want him to see we're ready.

I say you're ready now.
You've been working hard.

It's only when you don't have stock
you realise how much time they take.

Well, they look healthy enough.

I've been glad of their company.

Place has been like a desert
without cattle.

- You're going to restock with Friesians?
- Aye.

After old Jack Bradley, we were next
to try 'em. Always done well too.

You've worked wonders, Frank.
You're an example to us all.

I hope t'DVO get t'same idea.
I could do with some cows on it.

Just remind me which farm
this cow belongs to, will you?

It's Gilthorpe Farm again now,
Mr Farnon.

Like it used to be.

I'm delighted to hear it.

You'll be delighted to hear you're
still in line for a good Christmas present.

- Doing well, is she?
- You can never be sure till the calfs born,

but I've got a pretty good idea.

Your mother must be relieved.

Oh, aye.
We're getting on famous again.

Only we still get letters from t'lawyers
asking for money, though.

- You mean to say you haven't paid up?
- 200 guineas? For what they did to us?

I'd pay the bill
and forget all about it.

Or send them something on account,
so they don't sue you.

Trouble is, since our misunderstanding,
we haven't been doing too well just lately.

You thought of selling some stock?

Oh, aye, but we're just building up.

- You could do me a favour.
- We'd like to do that, Mr Farnon.

Well, then, if I can find someone who'd
pay the right price, would you sell her?

(dog growls)

Bert.

He knows you're still not
in the clear, Mr Farnon.

- You've not come to settle up, have you?
- No, not exactly.

But I have come to suggest
a step in the right direction.

Seven pounds, 12 shillings and sixpence,
by Christmas.

Indeed, yes.
Absolutely. Of course.

But I want to know what odds you'll offer
on the ringing of the Christmas peal.

- You want to bet on the bell-ringing?
- There's a lot in it from your point of view.

Six good men set their wits against
the challenge of ringing 5,040 changes

without fault or interruption over
three hours. Got to be worth a flutter.

Depends on the six ringers,
doesn't it?

I've heard one of them's
that new schoolmarm.

You reckon she can
stay the distance?

Oh, yes, she'll be the best of the lot.

Old Biggins, is he still in the team?

Who's in the team on the day
depends on the captain,

but the chances of myself being preferred
to Mr Biggins are rather good.

You? If you're gonna be in the team,
there's no point running a book.

They don't stand a chance.

I think you might all be in
for a rather big surprise.

(dog growls)

(Bert) Go on! Get him!

(Gillard) I never thought
I'd see a cow at Low Scar again.

- I never had much doubt about it.
- I know, and that helped me through it.

I never thought there'd come a time that
I'd see those two help each other again.

- Hello, Siegfried.
- Good morning, Frank.

- This is a very happy occasion.
- It is indeed, Mr Farnon.

- David, Jonathan, I'm grateful for this.
- Least we could do, Frank.

Could have happened to us
and tha'd have done t'same.

- Come on, lass. Come on. Come on.
- Come on.

- Come on. Come on.
- Come on.

- Young Mary's well out of the way?
- She's taking presents up to High Top.

- The Daimler's going to have to go, Helen.
- I am so sorry, Tris.

What we need is a suburban gold mine,
like Granville Bennett's.

All posh pets and poodles. Look at us.
We haven't got two sous to rub together.

Except silver-pocket Siegfried,
of course.

Maybe it's time for a gentle reminder
that money isn't everything.

(knock at door)

Miss Marston to see you, Mr Tristan.

- Hello, Tristan.
- Linda, how lovely to see you.

- Hello, Mrs Herriot.
- Hello, Linda.

Looking forward
to the Christmas holiday?

Exactly. How about
a bit of Christmas spirit?

Nothing strong for me right now,
thank you.

Well, why don't I make us
a nice cup of tea, then?

- Do sit down.
- Thank you.

Just get these out of the way.

- Here.
- Tristan, I have something to tell you.

Oh?

An announcement, in fact.

Go on.

Barry Stokes and l...

are engaged to be married.

Well, congratulations.

I must say, I'm...
absolutely delighted.

Oh, Tristan, you are wonderful.
Thank you.

I don't know about you,
but I'm certainly going to have that drink.

Here's to your future bliss.

I have some more news.

I've persuaded Barry to include you
in the team for the Christmas peal.

That's awfully kind of you, Linda -
and Barry -

- but, really, I wouldn't hear of it.
- Oh, Tristan, please.

Er... Dear Linda,

I don't know if I could bear to be in such
close proximity to you for three hours,

knowing you're promised to another.

But you will think about it
and let us know?

Merry Christmas, Tristan.

And do apologise
to Mrs Herriot for me.

Oh, I'm sure she'll understand.

Happy Christmas.

Bye-bye.

Mr Biggins!

Anyone about?

What does thou want?

Mr Biggins, I've been thinking
about this peal.

Tha'll never do it.

Yes, well, that's just
what I was thinking.

I know well you believe
my place in the team

to be the result of undue influence
with the team captain.

Aye.

And I know that you think I can't ring
grandsire triples to save my life.

Aye.

I was thinking, it being Christmas
and the first peal with a new bell,

that the team should be composed
of men and women with proven talent.

Look here, young man,
what exactly are you trying to get at?

Well, in short, Mr Biggins,
I've come here, even at this 11th hour,

to offer you my place in the team.

Have you spoken
to the bell captain about this?

Well, I think it's best if we keep this
between ourselves, don't you?

It's the best job
that you've ever done, Mr Farnon.

Now, how would you like a nice little
nip of whisky alongside of me?

Seeing that it's Christmas.

Thank you, Mr Biggins.
I don't mind if I do.

(bells ring)

Hear those bells? I am missing seeing
my kids open their Christmas stockings.

I know.

I used to count myself lucky
if I had two hours to spend with Mary

before t'beasts needed milking again.

Pull! Come on!

Yes! Come on!

Yes!

Yes.

My God, that's a wonderful sight to me,
though, James.

I couldn't have wished
for a better Christmas present.

(Mrs Alton) I thought you
were doing the peal.

Well, with great reluctance,
Mrs Alton,

I gave up my place in the team
to a more accomplished ringer.

After all, what is
my own personal satisfaction

when compared to the success
of the whole enterprise?

Well, I'm sure the Lord'll
appreciate the sacrifice.

I do hope he does.

Mrs Alton,
what a wonderful breakfast!

And a very happy Christmas to you.

- Take a stirrup cup with us, James.
- Thanks.

I'm not sure we'd have carried on
without you. Happy Christmas to you.

I wouldn't have missed it for the world,
you know. Here's to all of you.

- Merry Christmas, James.
- Thank you.

Happy Christmas, Mr Herriot.

Ah, Tristan. They also serve,
who only kneel and pray.

- I beg your pardon, Vicar?
- You hoped to be a team member too?

Yes, I did.

Being unable to participate
in the actual ringing of the peal,

you found another part to play -
with prayer for its success.

- Er, yes.
- How very commendable.

Do excuse me, Vicar,
but they're just over the three hours,

so the situation is rather critical.

Indeed, please pardon
my interruption.

My God!

They've done it!

They've done it!

Fantastic! You've done it!
Absolutely incredible! Congratulations!

Well done, Mr Biggins.
I couldn't have done it without you.

- I don't know what you mean.
- Tristan, just what have you done?

Saved my car.
Paid off my debts.

Old Grimes gave me 50-1 on failure,
thinking I would be in the team!

You brought my Christmas present.

A little large for my stocking,
but highly acceptable.

Bert!

Sorry to do this to you
on Christmas morning, but...

- Thank you.
- It's all right, it's all there.

Happy Christmas, my dear brother.

- My dear boy.
- Didn't I say I was a man of my word?

Good grief. I don't believe it.

Here we are.

- Is that it?
- That's it.

I really don't know what to say.
Thank you. Well done.

- Happy Christmas.
- Happy Christmas, Mrs Bradley.

David, Jonathan.

My goodness me, it's nice to see a little
brotherly love again, don't you think?

It's what it's all about, isn't it?

Yes, you know,
I'm only ever cruel to be kind.

Don't you see that the stringent financial
disciplines I enforced upon you

encouraged the
entrepreneurial enterprise

that has given rise
to this splendid outcome?

- Happy Christmas, Siegfried.
- Happy Christmas, my dear.

Merry Christmas, Helen.
Merry Christmas, James.

Excuse me, Mr Farnon,
he's got it real bad this time.

I think it's time to give him
that internal examination.

The mixture seems to have lost all
its power and I can't stop him womiting.

I think we can leave this matter
in Tristan's capable hands, don't you?

Oh, absolutely, Siegfried.
Merry Christmas, Mr Mulligan.

Merry Christmas to you,
Mr Mulligan.

Tris, haven't you
overlooked something?

Thanks a lot, Tris. I expect
you're feeling very relieved, aren't you?

Merry Christmas.

- There you are.
- Thank you. How lovely.

Generous to a fault, Siegfried.

It's turning into
quite a financial Christmas.

I think that my brother should feel...

Corrected & synced by Peterlin