All Creatures Great and Small (1978–1990): Season 1, Episode 3 - It Takes All Kinds - full transcript

James visits the Alderson farm to treat a calf with a broken leg and meets the very attractive Helen Alderson for the first time. Meanwhile, Siegfried decides to bring to some business-like discipline to the practice by hiring a secretary, Miss Harbottle. Not surprisingly, she turns out to something more than he expected!

It's very pretty.
I couldn't have done better.

You students can learn a lot
from watching us professionals.

Come on. Let's get him on a blanket.

That's it.

He wants to see you.
- "He", Mrs Hall?

Mr Farnon.
He wants to see both of you.

What does he want?
- He says it won't wait.

Now what?
- I don't know.

Mind you, Siegfried has been in one
of those silent moods all morning.

That means he's brooding.

You haven't been up
to something, have you?

I don't know. Have I?

We'd better find out, hadn't we?

(Siegfried) Ah, there you are.

What's wrong, Siegfried?
- Everything.

Look at all this.

Mess, confusion, chaos.

Well, it's got to stop.

You're in charge
of the paperwork around here.

We remember the awful shambles
you made

of taking care
of the bills last month.

We're still on about that?
- No. It's a past grievance.

You brought the subject up.

You're never going to be asked
to do it again. In fact...

None of us will ever
have to do it again.

We're going to have a secretary.

A secretary?
- Yes.

A dedicated expert
who'll sort out the mess

you lot make
of the business end of things.

And you have chosen one.
- Yes, I have. Miss Harbottle.

She comes highly recommended
from Green and Moulten's of Bradford.

She was their company secretary,
no less.

Is she young?
- Certainly not.

We don't want some flighty
young piece batting her eyelashes.

Why not, if she can do the work?

If you think I'd have
an attractive woman around

with you in this house, you're mad.
You'd never leave her alone.

I'm no worse than you.
- It's you we're talking about!

When do we meet her, Siegfried?

Tomorrow.
She's coming to inspect the office.

So I expect you two to give her
your full cooperation.

God, what the hell is it?

There's an awful noise
coming from surgery.

The dog! Must be coming out
of his anaesthetic.

That's all right, Mrs Hall.
Come on, James. We'll go and see it.

(Dog whining)

That noise gives me the creeps.

I've seen this before.

General anaesthetic does affect
some dogs like this.

It could be straightforward

or it could be the onset
of a more complex reaction.

We have to wait and see.
- Is there anything we can do?

No, just keep a careful watch.
What a racket.

Can't leave it alone.
Someone must stay with it.

I can't. I'm seeing a calf
at Heston Grange Farm.

Yes, nor can I. I've got a hell
of a list this afternoon.

(Dog howling)
- Tristan! I've got a job for you!

(Horn beeps )

(Knocks on door)

Hello? Anyone home?

(Woman ) Just a minute!

Hello.

Hello.

I'm sorry I couldn't let you in.
My hands were covered in flour.

Oh, that's all right.

My name's Herriot. James Herriot.

Oh! Siegfried Farnon's new assistant.

Oh, I've heard all about you.

You're the one who said Mr Handshaw's
cow would never walk again.

Bad news travels fast, I see.

Sorry. I didn't mean to offend you.

Oh, idle gossip doesn't
offend me in the slightest.

You should be pleased!

That little incident will keep
Mr Handshaw happy for weeks.

Is Mr Alderson about?
I understand he has a sick calf.

Yes. But my father and the men
are out in the fields.

Can you wait a minute?
- Of course.

I'll just see to the dough and, er,
then we'll be off.

Oh... I'm Helen Alderson, by the way.

I was on the bus the day
you arrived at Darrowby.

The calf is in
one of the hill pastures.

Look, you can see it from here.

I'll take your word for it.

We're in for a bit of a walk,
I'm afraid.

Oh, I don't mind.

I don't mind in the least.

Poor little thing. Misses his mother.

It's all right, little fella.
It's all right.

It's all right. Easy, easy.

How did it happen?

Fell down a slope
chasing after his mum.

Is anything broken?

A clean fracture of the metacarpus.

He should do well
with a plaster on it.

Could I have some water, please?

Oh, yes, of course.
- Thank you.

All right, old fella.

I'll try not to hurt you. That's it.

Thank you.

Have you been a vet long, Mr Herriot?

Not long, but don't worry.

I know enough
to fix this little fellow.

Oh, dear.
Have I said the wrong thing?

No, not at all.

I wasn't doubting your ability.
I was just interested, that's all.

I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to sound prickly.

It's my fault.

Would you hold his head, please,
Miss Alderson?

Yes, of course.

Easy. Easy.

Right. Here we go.

Sorry if it's hurting you, old fella.

(Cow mooing)

It's his mother!
She's hung around since the accident.

She can't bear
to be separated from him.

She won't be much longer.

Come on, old thing.

There.

It's marvellous
to see a sick animal recover.

Yes.

Yes, it is.

I'll come back in a couple of weeks
and take his plaster off.

(James ) What's that mountain
over there?

(Helen ) That's Hiskott Fell.
And beyond it, Eddleton.

And the three to the right are
Wedder Fell, Colver and Senner.

You make them sound like old friends.

I've known them all my life,
Mr Herriot.

You're lucky to live here.

But I don't think you need me
to tell you that.

A lot of people find it too bare
and wild, especially in winter.

It almost seems to frighten them.

But I love it.

Watch your step, Mr Herriot!

I'd much rather you
called me James, Miss Alderson.

Only if you'll agree
to call me Helen.

Agreed.
- (Both laugh)

Keep an eye on the calf
and don't let him run around much.

Yes, I will.

Well...

That's about it, then.

Good. I'll look forward
to your next visit.

Thank you for coming, James.

Yes. Well, goodbye... Helen.

Goodbye, James.

(Dog yowling)

How's it going, Tris?

(Dog whining)

(Shouting) God help us, James,
don't ever do that again.

Nearly killed me, you did.

(Shouting) Any sign of it coming to?

No. And don't waste
your sympathy on him, either.

He's as happy as a sandboy
in front of that fire.

He looks healthy enough.
- What about me?

My nerves are shot to hell.
- You'll survive.

I mean it. Much more and you'll
have to give me a shot, too.

(Dog howling)

That smells marvellous.
- Never mind food.

What are you doing
to that dumb animal?

It's hardly dumb, is it, Mrs Hall?

Call yourselves vets
and you let that poor brute suffer.

He's in no pain, Mrs Hall.

Come on. Come on, boys.

(Dog howling)

Still at it, I hear.

Have you seen
if it's all right, James?

Yes, it's just a question
of waiting for it to come to.

Hello, Mrs Hall. I'm here.

Someone will have
to stay with it this evening.

That someone is not me.
- I don't mind.

Steady on, James.
We have that meeting in Broughton.

Oh, it's tonight, is it?
- Yeah, afraid so.

We have old Reeves giving
his star turn on sheep diseases.

Can't miss that.
- No.

Come off it,
you've heard Reeves dozens of times.

No matter how often
you hear the lectures,

there's always something
new to be discovered.

Pity you can't come.
- What do you mean?

Someone's got to stay with that dog.

Someone's got to eat that dinner.
- I absolutely refuse.

Stop being a prima donna
and sit down.

(Dog howling)
- I said sit down.

It'll only be for a few hours, Tris.

Thanks.

Go on, you go to your meeting.

Who wants to listen
to that old bore Reeves anyway?

I certainly don't.
- (Howling continues )

Aren't you worried about the effect
that dog is having on Tristan?

It's all show, James.
- Broughton's the other way.

I'm fully aware of
how to get to Broughton, James.

He's just trying to worm his way
out of an unpleasant chore.

(James ) He's had quite a day of it.
(Siegfried) So what?

It'll teach him that our job
is not all romance.

(Horn beeps )
- Do him no end of good. You'll see.

(Whimpering)

(Tristan wailing, drunkenly)
# Like a plaintive melody

♪ That never lets me free

♪ I'm content... ♪

TRISTAN!

Ah! Ah, it is... Siegfried.

Siegfried the wanderer.
Siegfried the hero.

(Dog howls)

♪ Yum-pa-da-paa-dum
Yum-pa-da-paaa-dum

# Yum-pa-daa! #
- Watch it, Tristan! Watch it!

(James ) Sorry!

Are you all right, Tris?

James, what are you doing up there
when I'm down here?

Of the all the irresponsible...
What an infernal mess!

Three cheers for Siegfried.
Hip, hip! Hooray!

Shut up, will you?

James, you'd better get him to bed.
I'll deal with him in the morning.

What about the dog?
- Right.

A decent sort of a dog
when he's got his senses about him.

Can't stay here alone all night.

I suppose he'll have to spend
the night in my room.

Come on, Tristan,
for heaven's sake. Come on.

Oh, Siegfried, già di ritorno?
- Aargh! Avanti, Tristan!

But James, I must pay my respects!
- Come on!

Ah, James.
Un meraviglioso mattino, non è vero?

How are you feeling?
- Marvellous, marvellous.

Tell me, how did the meeting go?

Fine. You seem to have recovered
from last night's little do.

Oh, what's an ale or two
to a healthy young fellow like me?

Have you seen Siegfried?

He was away at the crack of dawn,
in a hurry to get that dog back.

It came to late in the night,
it seems.

(Door slams )
- I do believe he's returned.

Back already?

Have you cleared up
that mess you made last night?

Don't I always?
- You look rough, Siegfried.

Not a wink of sleep last night.
- I slept like a log myself.

Call that drunken stupor sleep?
- Me? Drunk?

You can't even do a simple little job
without turning it into an orgy.

One more escapade like that
and you're out. Sacked.

There's a lady for you, Mr Farnon.
Calls herself Miss Harbottle.

Ah, yes.
Mrs Hall, show her in, show her in.

Now, you two, you're about to meet
our new secretary.

Miss Harbottle, good morning.
- Mr Farnon.

Welcome to Skeldale House.
This way, this way.

Gentlemen, Miss Harbottle.

My assistant, James Herriot.

Miss Harbottle.
- Mr Herriot.

My brother, Tristan.
- Delighted, Miss Harbottle.

Now, then. Where would you like to
start your inspection?

The heart of any business enterprise,
Mr Farnon, is surely the office.

Absolutely. There you have it.

You call this the office?

Well, the nerve centre,
you might say, of our operation.

(Miss Harbottle ) I see.

And what, may I ask, is this?

That is our ledger.

We enter all our visits into this
from the daybook, you see.

May I see that also, please?

The daybook? Yes, of course.

Sorry.

Ah! Here it is!

The daybook.

(Clearing throat) There you are.

You gentlemen are going
to have to learn to write...

if I'm to look after your books.

Yes, I've had occasion to talk
to them about that before.

There are three different hands here
but this is by far the worst.

Quite dreadful. Whose is it?

That one?

That? That is mine.

I must have been
in rather a hurry that day.

All your entries are the same,
Mr Farnon.

Here. Here.

Won't do, you know.
- (Suppressed laughter)

I expect this is where
you keep the stationery.

Er... n-n-no.

James?
- Yes.

Thank you. Thank you very much.

May I ask
where you keep your cash box?

Ah, yes. Yes, across the hall.
This way, Miss Harbottle.

I don't believe it!
- Shh! Come on!

We don't have exactly
what you'd call a cash box.

We just, er, stuff it all into this.

You mean you leave that money
there day after day?

It never seems to have
come to any harm.

I trust the petty cash does not
suffer the same cavalier treatment.

Petty cash?

You do have a petty cash box,
don't you?

It's all in this jug, Miss Harbottle,
petty or otherwise.

I don't know how you've stayed
in business so long.

It's a question I often ask myself.

But will you put us
on the straight and narrow?

It'll mean changing your methods.
- Exactly.

When can you start?

In my opinion, Mr Farnon,
the sooner, the better.

Tomorrow?
- As you wish.

Excellent.

Tomorrow, then. Nine o'clock sharp.

Good day, gentlemen.
- I'll see you to the door.

♪ And I were the only... ♪

Wednesday. Sitting room, Wednesday.

Mrs Hall, isn't it?

Please do not touch anything
on the desk or in the drawers.

In altre circostenze può
spolverare dove preferisce.

Grazie, signora Hall.

Parla la segretaria del dottor Farnon.

24 ore, James.
You know, that's all it's taken. aaaa

And this whole practice is humming
like a dynamo. aaaa

E' veramente impressionante.

Una chiamata per lei, dottor Herriot.
La signora Pumphrey.

Sembra piuttosto turbata.
- Grazie, signorina Harbottle.

Do be brief, Mr Herriot.

We must remember
that most of our business

comes via the telephone, mustn't we?

Yes, Miss Harbottle.
- Off you rush, James.

Oh, Uncle Herriot,
thank heavens I found you in.

It's Tricki. He's desperately ill.

And it's not flop-bot again nor at
all like when he went cracker-dog.

No, he's worse. Much worse.

Can you describe the symptoms,
please?

Is he vomiting?
- Yes, all the time.

And his poor lungs,
they're pumping away like bellows.

Right. I'll get up there
as quickly as I can.

You are kind. Thank you, Mr Herriot.

Tricki, darling, Uncle Herriot's
on his way to see you.

Oh! He's just tried to wag his tail!

Goodbye, Mrs Pumphrey.

It's Tricki-Woo.

Ring Uncle Herriot up for a chat,
did he?

Mrs Pumphrey did.
She's in a terrible state.

Really? What's wrong?
- Overfeeding again, I think.

I take it you've warned her
about his diet, have you?

Frequently.
Doesn't make a bit of difference.

I'm not treating him
while he's in that house with her.

You should bring Tricki here,
let him muck in with our dogs.

Do him the world of good
spending time with his own kind.

That's a brilliant idea.
It might give her the jolt she needs.

Point is, will she let him go?

Take darling Tricki away?
- I'm afraid so.

Desperate situations
call for desperate measures.

But we've never been separated.
Not ever.

Mrs Pumphrey,
he is very ill, you know.

He needs full-time care
and attention.

Oh, it's all too ghastly!

Delay could be fatal, Mrs Pumphrey.

Oh, no! Oh, my poor darling!

Try not to let him see
that you're upset.

Of course.

Tricki, darling,

Uncle Herriot wants you to stay
with him for a little while.

Now, you'll be a good boy, won't you?

Do everything that Uncle tells you.

Mummy will miss you
but you'll soon...

It won't be for very long, Tricki.

Stay with Uncle while I...
get your things.

I'll get him settled in the car.

(Tearfully) Oh, dear!

(Clears throat)

Poorly, is he?

The dog, I mean.

Yes, Mr Hodgekin.

Reckon he's had his chips, do you?

That's a very sick dog, Mr Hodgekin.

Aye. How long do you reckon
he's got, then?

About a week.
- Aye.

Then he'll be as right as rain.
You can have him back.

Isn't that good news?

Is the poor darling all right?
He's not missing me, is he?

He's being a very brave boy,
Mrs Pumphrey.

Of course he is.
Now, you've got all his things -

his day bed, his night bed,
special cushions,

breakfast, lunch and supper things...

and his favourite shawl.

We have all we need
at the surgery, Mrs Pumphrey.

Not take Tricki's things?
You couldn't be so cruel!

No. No, of course he may have them.

Thank you. Oh, Francois...

have you brought
his hot and cold jacket?

Of course, madam.
- And his little rings?

Yes, madam.
Everything is in Mr Herriot's car.

Thank you, Francois.
- Goodbye, Mrs Pumphrey.

Goodbye, Mr Herriot.

Oh, dear.
It's all too ghastly for words.

Evening, Miss Harbottle.

(Miss Harbottle clears throat)

Yes, Miss Harbottle?
- Mr Farnon.

For some days now
I have endeavoured to get you

to spend a little of your time
on this paperwork.

Yes, I'm sorry about that.
- It's most unbusinesslike.

Scores of queries need your
attention. Will you look at them?

I'm late for surgery. I'll deal with
them later. Anything else?

As a matter of fact there is.

Fine. I'll deal with that
at the same time.

Christie, come on, Christie.
Here you are, chaps.

This is Tricki-Woo.
This is Tricki-Woo.

No, this one. I know what you're
thinking, but it is a dog.

James!

Mrs Pumphrey again. Do you
want me to tell her you're out?

No. No, she's been very good today.

Only three calls so far.

Thank you.

Hello, Mrs Pumphrey.

Yes, Tricki is much improved today.

Yes. Yes, he slept
very well last night.

Of course he asked after you.

No, Uncle Herriot has no complaints.

Yes. Yes, Tricki is being
a very good boy.

Of course, the worst is over now.

He just needs a little time
to convalesce, that's all. Oh.

I'll let you know the moment
I think he can go home.

Thank you, Mrs Pumphrey.

Yes, I'll tell him Mummy said that.

Yes, goodbye...
Yes, yes, I'll tell him.

Of course Uncle Herriot
will tuck him in.

Goodbye, Mrs Pumphrey.

Uncle Herriot
has the bedside manner off pat.

Uncle Herriot will do you an injury
if you don't shut up.

Wicked Uncle Herriot!
- Psst!

(Mouthing)

I'll, erm... I'll just close it,
Miss Harbottle.

(Whispering)
I haven't got time to see her.

I'll be late back. Would you mind
taking emergency calls?

No, Siegfried, I don't mind...
- Shh!

And you've no idea what time
I'll be back. Understand?

I thought I heard voices
out here, Mr Herriot.

That was probably me on
the telephone, Miss Harbottle.

Morning, Siegfried.

Morning.

Ah! Good morning, James.
- (Yawns )

Anything wrong, James?
- Looks rather peaky, doesn't he?

So would you be if you'd been
through this last night.

I thought you'd be called out.
Parson's cow?

Yeah. Got herself stuck in a cesspit
and went into labour.

I've been up to my neck
in freezing muck all night.

I see it all. Dedicated young vet
fighting against the odds,

slogging through hail, rain and muck.

Oh, shut up!
- (Door slams )

Staff's arrived.

Miss Harbottle's been trying to see

the senior member
of the firm for days.

(Miss Harbottle screams )

See what she wants, would you?

Is something wrong, Miss Harbottle?

He's been at it again!

At what?

Mr Farnon! I know it's you out there!

It's absurd the way
he tries to sneak past.

Good morning, Miss Harbottle.

Anything I can do for you?

There is indeed, Mr Farnon.

Explain why you have once more
emptied my petty cash box.

Oh, I am sorry about that,
Miss Harbottle.

I had to rush to Broughton
last night to see Mother.

I usually take her a little gift.

I suddenly found myself
short of any cash.

I got into the habit
in the old jug days.

And as they say, old habits die hard.

Not to say bad habits.
- Possibly.

It wasn't such a bad system.
- System?! It was anarchy!

The point is, Mr Farnon,

how am I to account
for the money in my charge

when you keep on stealing it?

Stealing? That's rather
an odd word to choose, isn't it?

You don't seem to realise, Mr Farnon,
that money is not yours.

Oh?
- It is the firm's.

The firm's assets, Mr Farnon.

Well, never mind.

Simply go to the bank and
draw out enough to cover the loss.

All right? Good.

(Clears throat)
There are several other matters...

Ah, yes, but I have a long list
of calls waiting for me.

(Clears throat)
These medical terms you use.

Would you oblige me by writing them
legibly and not please scribble?

(Dogs barking)
- Grub up!

Come on, everybody!

(Whistles ) Come on.

Stick to your own bowl.

My word, James, he does look fit.

He's been squashed by our lot,
nipped by barn rats...

He's having the time of his life!

How's Mrs Pumphrey
managing without him?

She rings about six times a day.

Aha. You can't stall her
much longer, you know.

Well, I'll give Tricki
a few days more and then we'll see.

(Door slams )

Hello.

Hello, James.
- Something's arrived for you.

Special delivery.
- Oh.

It's from Fortnum and Mason's.
There's a card with it.

Oh. From Mrs Pumphrey.

Aren't you going to read it out?

I told you, it's from Mrs Pumphrey.

Oh, James, really.

"To darling Tricki-Woo
and Uncle Herriot with love.

"Mummy's two favourite boys." Ahh!

80-year-old brandy.
- (Tristan ) You've struck gold.

There are three of those. Tristan?

Port.
- Careful! Careful with it!

James, treat it gently.

Graham's, 1920.

All the more reason
to treat it with exquisite care.

Three of those, too.

Quails' eggs.

Honey.

Caviar - Beluga.

James.
- Truffles in aspic.

When are you taking Tricki back?

I don't know.
After tomorrow's surgery, I expect.

Seems almost a pity, doesn't it?

Yes.
- Ah.

I think it appropriate that
Uncle Herriot proposes a toast.

Erm... to Tricki-Woo.
May his blood forever need enriching.

(All) To Tricki-Woo.

God bless him.

Mr Herriot, madam.

Oh!

(All) # For he's
a jolly good fellow

♪ For he's a jolly good fellow

♪ For he's a jolly good fellow
and so say all of us ♪

Hip, hip!
- Hooray!

Hip, hip!
- Hooray!

Tricki, darling, you're home!

Oh, Mr Herriot,
how can I ever thank you?

This is... a triumph of surgery.

Francois.

There you are, my darling.
Your special cushion.

And champagne for Mr Herriot.
- Madam.

Congratulations, young fellow.

Splendid achievement.
Really splendid.

Thank you. Thank you very much.

Oh, no. No, no, no, no.

Francois? The big glass.

Mrs Pumphrey, it's very naughty
of you not to have warned me.

Well, you might have let Tricki know.

That wouldn't have done at all,
now, would it?

There you are. Drink up, Mr Herriot.

Thank you.
- Francois.

Keep your eye on Mr Herriot.
See that his glass is always full

and that he has plenty to eat.
- Certainly, madam.

My most grateful thanks to you,
Mr Herriot.

Your very good health, Mrs Pumphrey.

Oh, and to Tricki.
- (Man ) Oh, Tricki, yes.

Mrs Pumphrey,
what is that man doing?

Oh, dear, now, please forgive me.

It's just Tricki's
special welcome home treat.

Take away half the meat and
all the cake. Then I'll forgive you.

Of course. Of course I will.

Now, my darling,
Uncle Herriot says he doesn't want...

You must take that one away.
Let him have some of that.

Ah. Thank you, Francois.

Thank you.

Mr Herriot!

Are you there, Mr Herriot?

(James ) Yes, Mrs Hall.

Mr Dixon, Top End Farm.
He's got a foal that's poorly.

Caught itself on a nail or summat.

I'm half dead. Isn't Mr Farnon in?

He's out visiting his mother.
- Oh, is he?

You'd better hurry, Mr Herriot.

That colt's bleeding badly.
- All right, I'm going.

You're never going like that!
- Oh, yes I am.

Dressed naked with no proper
clothes on? Whatever next?

You said it was urgent, didn't you?

You know best what you're doing,
Mr Herriot. Good night.

What's good about it, Mrs Hall?

He's here.
- About time.

What kept you?
- I came as quick as I could.

How is she?
- She's lost a lot of blood.

I reckon her neck vein's ruptured.

It's a nasty cut. What happened?

It's the first time
she'd been away from her mother.

She went crazy,
banging and crashing round t'barn.

Woke up the house, she did.

She got herself caught on
t'nail in t'wall.

The first thing to do
is stop that bleeding.

Is there water handy?
- It's cold. From t'well.

That's fine, thanks.

Do you reckon you can
stop t'bleeding?

Yes. I'll negate the artery,
then stitch her up.

She's not lost too much blood,
has she?

No, she's a good, strong animal.
I reckon she'll pull through.

God help us. What's this?
Falderals, is it?

It's my night attire, Mr Dixon.

I saw a fellow like you last year.
Bradford Alhambra.

Same suit exactly,
with a striped hat and a cane.

(Laughs ) Did a champion little dance,
he did.

Oh, allow me.
- Thank you.

It's not often I get the chance
to help an artiste with his costume.

I suppose every farmer
around will hear about this episode.

It's not every day we get
a Kentucky minstrel to tend stock.

I'm not here to entertain!

Seeing you like that brought it
fresh to t'mind.

It's all part of the service,
Mr Dixon.

(Whistling cheerfully)

Good morning, Helen.

Hope you don't mind me
calling so early.

Morning, James. No, of course not.

I didn't expect to see you
for three days yet.

I thought I'd look in
to see how it is.

See how what is, James?
- Well, the calf.

Oh, the calf!

It's fine. Plaster's just about
ready to come off, I think.

Perhaps I'd better take
a look at it. Just in case.

Well, if you insist.

But Father's moved it
to one of the Earlsdale barns,

about four miles from here.

Are you sure you want
to take the trouble?

I don't mind... if you don't.

Well, it's awfully
inconvenient just now.

I'm right in the middle
of family breakfast.

Oh.

Would you like to come in?

No, I don't think so. I'm not
really dressed for the occasion.

Helen, I'll leave it for now
and come as arranged on Friday.

How about that?
- If you like.

Sorry to have butted in so early.

Well, it is rather.
And you are welcome to stay.

No, no. I'll see you on Friday.

Goodbye, James.

Bye, Helen.

It's amazing what you hear
on your rounds.

Oh, what's that?
- Well...

the whole county's buzzing
with rumours about, um...

a vagrant minstrel
masquerading as a vet.

Some of the folk think
he was an escaped convict.

Heard anything about it?
- Not you, too.

Mr Farnon, I really must protest.

Ah, Miss Harbottle,
I was just on my way to see you.

I have asked you repeatedly...
- Yes.

Just one or two little points
I wanted to discuss.

First of all, your petty cash box.

It's a very nice little box
as boxes go

but the function of a cash box
is to have cash in it, agreed?

Precisely.
- Quite.

Last evening
I had two paying customers.

They wanted to pay cash
and I had no change.

And your cash box was quite empty.
It doesn't look good, that.

But you removed the entire contents!

Please hear me out, Miss Harbottle.

It is now the tenth of the month

and the accounts
have still not gone out.

That is a very
undesirable state of affairs.

You won't check them with me!

I've almost finished. It hurts me
to have to speak like this,

for I am in general pleased with
your progress since you joined us.

But if you'll just tighten up
on these one or two points,

then I'm sure that we shall have here
a thoroughly efficient business.

Remember, Miss Harbottle,
efficiency. That's what we need.

(Gasps )
- You agree.

Thank you, Miss Harbottle.
That is all.

(Exasperated sigh)

Pass the cheese, please, James.

Thank you.

Biscuit, Siegfried?

Good of you, Tristan.

(Door slams )

Staff seems to have gone to lunch.