All Creatures Great and Small (2020–…): Season 1, Episode 2 - Episode #1.2 - full transcript

Morning, James.

Good morning!

How is it possible?

We have nothing we want and two of
everything we don't.

It's almost as if you might benefit
from employing some sort of system.

Sarcasm really doesn't suit a woman
of your religiosity, Mrs Hall.

Herriot!

Well, you seem in a cheery mood
this morning.

Herriot.

Care to explain yourself?

Yes, absolutely.



I'm sorry.

Sorry, what have I done?

This. This.

It's empty.

What on earth is it doing back on
the shelf?

Add Handshaw to the list,
he's got a cow down.

I'll see to it.

And when you're done pick my brother
up from the station,

he should be on the 4.30.

I didn't know Tristan were coming.

There's another Farnon?

I was perfectly clear with both of
you yesterday.

And James,

take the Rover.



Thank you.

The Rover?

Quite the honour.

One must offer the carrot as well
as the stick, Mrs Hall.

And if it makes Tristan green
with envy, all the better.

Motivation to apply himself
as Herriot has done.

No Siegfried today?

Unless he's hiding in the back.

No, no, just me, I'm afraid.

Who's this, then?

Siegfried's new assistant.

Oh, aye?

Yes, another one.

Cow's in t'shed.

She hasn't stood for three days.

I think it's milk fever keeping
her down.

A bottle of calcium should solve
the problem.

My dad always used to say
they had a worm in t'tail

when they stayed down like this.

Well, cutting it off'll see her up.

Aside from being rather painful,

I'm not sure how that would rectify
a deficiency of calcium.

Oh, hark at him, only been born
five minutes,

he knows stock better
than thee or I.

Old ways is the old ways
for a reason, lad.

These modern ways have their
merits, too.

Broughton, this is Broughton.

Oi!

- Oi!
- Tristan Farnon?

Whatever you heard, it's not true.
I didn't do it.

No, Siegfried sent me.

I'm James Herriot,
his new assistant.

Really? Poor you.

Oi! You need to buy a ticket, Sir.

Come on.

Car? Where's the...?

He let you drive the Rover?

Yes, it's quite something,
isn't it?

Wait a minute.

Quickly. We haven't got all day.

Hurry up.

Do you have a girl?

Not as such. No.

Not as such meaning not at all,
or not as such meaning yes,

but not so much
that you're willing to say?

- Er...
- It's the former, isn't it?

Never mind,
we'll soon sort that out.

We will?

Any local beauties taken your fancy?

I've not been here too long.

Ah, that explains it, then.

Have you travelled far?

Edinburgh. I've been at
veterinary college.

Training to be a vet?

No, electrician.

Yes, of course, to be a vet.

In between having an enormous amount
of fun at any rate.

How do you find him?

My brother, I mean.

Everyone speaks very highly of him.

Obviously he's an experienced vet.

I sense a but.

He's not without
his inconsistencies.

Inconsistencies?

The man's a lunatic.

Why do you think he goes through
Mayflies like he does?

Mayflies?

It's what I call his assistants.

They rarely last beyond the day.

Will you be staying long
at Skeldale?

Naturally.

Someone's got to keep the family
business ticking over.

Look out!

Blimey.

You know, I think we might've
got away with it.

Fret not, Jim. It'll hold.

Mrs H, you look more youthful
and radiant with each passing day.

Ooh, I can feel your ribs
poking through.

You're wasting away.

It's the quality of the cooking,

it just can't compare with the
culinary delights I get at home.

I'm short of time but I managed
to rustle you up a bit of tea.

You've outdone yourself, Mrs H.

If only I had some ale
to wash it down with.

I've some in the pantry.

Evening, Siegfried.

Good journey?

Uneventful.

Wasn't it, James?

Barely a soul on the road.

How was college?

Oh, you know.

Hard work.

Nose to the grind stone.

Celebrating last night?

End of exams.

And?

All finished.

Finished?

Just passed the last one.

You passed?

- Mm-hm.
- Oh, thank the Lord.

- Tristan, congratulations.
- Good heavens.

About bloody time, too.

But don't think that means you
get to just sit around idle.

I think what your brother means
to say is that he's very proud.

What? Yes, yes, goes without saying.

Very good. Very good.
Well done, very proud.

What's happened to my room?

I'm afraid we didn't know for
certain when you were coming back.

Or was it more that you didn't know
how long he'd be staying?

Oh, it's Mr Herriot's for now.

I think you'll be quite
comfortable in here.

The cupboard?

I'll leave you boys
to get better acquainted.

You should have your bed back.

No, no, I won't hear of it.

This'll be more
than sufficient for now.

You know I don't plan
on leaving any time soon.

No-one ever does.

That's the thing about Siegfried,

you never know what he's going
to do until he does it.

In truth, neither does he.

Sleep well.

Morning, James.

Morning.

Afternoon, Jim.

Siegfried, here's a list of
everything we're short of

and this is the surplus.

- You did all this?
- First thing this morning.

You see, Herriot,
the early bird catches the worm.

Well, put these in the car, I'll
run them over to Pandhi later.

Mrs Pumphrey called a moment ago.

Please tell me it's not.

Flop-bott.

- Flop what?
- Bott.

She treats that dog like
the Raja of bloody India.

I tell you, she'll be the ruination
of the poor animal.

Excuse me.

Oh, and we had a call from Handshaw
while you were still asleep.

Something about a cow
that wouldn't get up.

Spitting chips about it, he was.

- I thought you dealt with that.
- I did. His cow had milk fever.

What she needs is
a bottle of calcium.

Which I administered yesterday.

Really, Herriot, you can't
keep going back and forth

on the same case.
It's a waste of time.

I'll head up there first thing
this morning.

Tristan'll go with you.

I will?

Time to put theory into practice,
little brother.

I'm sure James doesn't want another
Farnon breathing down his neck.

Nonsense. Herriot doesn't mind.

Not at all.

Good. It's settled, then.

Time to see you at work, Jim.

Go. Keep going, keep going.

You're the one who let me
drive the car.

Well, if I'd known you were coming
back, I'd have baked some fresh.

Oh, God, it's good, Sylvie.

If you weren't married already.

'Fraid that's the last slice.

Oh, well. He can share mine.

I'm a little busy, actually.

Suit yourself.

The calcium should've
taken effect by now,

so I'm going to try a
stimulant injection

to give her a little encouragement.

It might take a few hours
to take effect,

but you should see her up
by this evening.

That's what he said last time.

My dad always had ways
of getting a cow up.

Oh, well, let's hear some of them.

I think we can manage.

How about some water
in the lug hole?

It'd certainly get me up.

We're not pouring water
in her lug hole.

Try yelling at her?

I'm not going to shout at a cow.

I'll give it a go, if you like.

Hey, I always said
he were a grand lad.

No, no, no, I'll... I'll do it.

What exactly am I supposed to yell?

Well, when I wants to move a cow,
I always says "cush".

Aye.

They understand cush.

Cush.

Cush.

Cush!

I'm sorry! I'm sorry!

It just tickled me, I've never seen
a man shout at a cow before.

I'm glad you're enjoying yourself.

If you can't enjoy yourself
then what's the point?

And the Handshaws certainly
appreciated it.

As my brother always says, you treat
the person, not just the animal.

Oh, cush.

Audrey.

Reporting for duty, ma'am.

Give over.

I lost the stripes years ago.

Oh, it's good to see you.

Yeah, you too. You too.

Hello, need a lift?

Oh, we're only going to
the tea room.

Who's this, then? New fancy man?

Hm? Oh, no.

Mr Farnon owns the veterinary
practice I keep house for.

This is Dorothy.

How do you do?

I understand you served under
Mrs Hall in the Wrens.

Brutal task master she was, too.

I can certainly attest to that.

Is that yours?

For now.

I'm leaving sunny
Scarborough for Malta

Trying to get rid
of it before I go.

Her son's out with the Navy.

If you're interested, I'm around
these parts the next few weeks

catching up with friends.

Thank you.

Pleasure to meet you.

Until this evening.

Oh, lovely lines.

The Rover.

You know I've always had
a soft spot for a soft top.

So, how are things at home?

Scarborough still the rogues'
gallery it's always been?

Oh, you know, as ever it was.

Have you seen my
Edward knocking about?

Let's talk about it over a brew.

Come on.

Blimey.

Quite something, isn't it?

Her old man's mills used to weave
half the cloth in the county.

This way, gentlemen.

Do show the band where to set up.

Ah, thank you, Francois.

Make sure we have plenty of ice.

The doctor said I must drink
more water.

Eugh!

Mrs Pumphrey.

Looks like you're putting
on quite the shindig.

Oh, just a modest affair
for our closest friends.

Isn't that right, Tricki?

And how've you been little man?

Oh, dear, I think he remembers you.

He stood on his tail.

Accidentally, I hasten to add.

Yes, but he does bear grudges.

And who is this delight?

James Herriot.
Mr Farnon's new assistant.

It's a pleasure to meet you.

It's true what I've been hearing.

You are a handsome devil.

And you must be Tricki-Woo.

That's no way to greet Mr Herriot.

Paw.

Honestly.

You'd think he'd been dragged up.

Isn't he just adorable?

Paw, Tricki?

Paw.

Let us take him to the library
for his treatment.

We must preserve his dignity.

Be glad to take it off your hands.

Always happy to help a man
who's struggling.

Oh, we're far from struggling - no,
we just need to make some space

so we stock for the more
profitable work.

Clinton.

Careful with that.

There's some wimpy looking devils
coming into this profession.

Now, now, George, we can't
all be as handsome as you.

Blasted students.

Not worth a penny I pay them.

Student? Oh, well, you manage with
what you can find, I suppose.

I've two assistants now.

Is that so?

Both fully qualified.

Yes, my brother just passed
his exams,

which means we'll be able to
take on even more work.

Onwards and upwards, eh, George?

Onwards and upwards.

Impacted anal glands.

Now that we've expressed them,
he should feel more comfortable.

I don't know why this
keeps happening,

I only feed him the very best food.

Ah, well, that could
be part of the problem,

what exactly is it you're
feeding him?

Oh, the usual - chicken,
beef Wellington, plum duff,

and he absolutely adores trifle.

Who doesn't? Good boy.

And cake, of course.

Ah, well, there you have it.

Triple pud always puts my
insides in a rum old state.

Too much rich food in his diet.

Not enough fibre.

Yeah, that too. If you want to get
technical about it.

Brown meat and biscuits twice a day.

That's all he should be having.

Quite right. Well said, Jim.

Oh, Tricki, Uncle Herriot's
telling mummy off.

Uncle... Herriot is simply trying
to make sure his nephew stays fit

and healthy.

But how will my poor baby survive?

Very well, I should imagine.

Let's face it, there's enough meat
on the bone.

Excuse me?

I just mean he's carrying a little
extra timber around the middle.

That's all.

Don't listen to him, Tricki.

You're perfect as you are.

I'm sorry, Tricki, I didn't mean it.

Oh.

Well, there goes my invite.

Damn dog.

Just one more stop
before we head home.

All right there, Tris?
Didn't know you were back.

I assume you've missed me terribly.

Oh, I don't know how I've coped.

James! I barely recognise
you with your clothes on.

Wait? What?

I was swimming. It's nothing.

Your old horse and cart's
had a bit of an upgrade.

Borrowed it from the Hultons.

Hop on up, calf's in the top field.

Can I have a go? I've always
wanted to drive a tractor.

I wouldn't.

I won't.

Lovely view.

Isn't it?

That's Heskit Fell.

Eddleton just beyond.

Wedder over the other side.

Colver and Sennor.

You talk about them as if they were
old friends.

I've known them my whole life.

There's a river up there that's good
for swimming.

Here she is.

Seems to be putting weight
on it all right.

Well, that was easy enough.

What's say we round off the day
with a pint at the Drovers?

I'd like to take a closer look,

just to make sure.

Of course he would.

How was your first day on the job?

Very instructive.

Jim has his own particular methods.

I've got it.

What about Handshaw's cow?

That all taken care of?

- Absolutely.
- Eventually.

Is it or isn't it? I don't want to
have to go up there myself.

All it needed was an extra
stimulant injection.

I assure you, Siegfried,
it's all sorted.

I'm pleased to hear it.

That were Mrs Pumphrey's driver.

A letter for Uncle Herriot.

"Tricki-Woo requests the pleasure
of Uncle Herriot's company

"for drinks and dancing."
He's going to the party?

Invited by Tricki-Woo, no less.

You will be the guest of honour.

I'll just get supper out the oven.

You must've made quite
the impression.

Do you think I should go?

Oh, course you should.

Rivers of champagne,
mountains of food.

Annoying Pekinese barking
shrilly in your ear.

Ah, it says here it's white tie.

Oh, well, if you haven't got it,

I'm sure Tristan has
something you can borrow.

Tris?

We're not quite the same size.

But I suppose you could try
and squeeze into it.

Mrs Hall does wonders
with a needle and thread.

I'm sure it won't be a problem...
..taking it in.

Darrowby, 2297.

Mr Handshaw, how can I...

I see.

I'm sorry to hear that.

No, no, I understand.

I'll be up first thing
tomorrow morning.

Anything important?

No. Nothing to worry about.

Isn't this Handshaw's place?

Why are we back here?

You old devil.

I distinctly recall you telling
Siegfried it was all sorted.

It is.

It will be.

Never fear, Jim.

Your secret's safe with me.

Let's see if these sacks
can't lift her up.

Try to rock her over towards me.

Tristan? Are you perfectly
comfortable over there?

I'm probably best employed in more
of an overseeing capacity.

What about carbolic
in a pint of beer?

Would that be for us or the cow?

We just need to lift.

OK, I need everyone to lift.

Lift.

Lift!

We'll try again.

Tristan, we could really do
with your help.

One, two, three.

Everyone shout cush!

Cush!

Cush!

Cush!

Cush!

Wait. Stop!

- Cush!
- Will everyone please be quiet?

Shut up!

Mrs Hall, have you been baking
that shortbread I like?

I've a couple spare.

What's this?

Dorothy said he'd been
staying there.

He's still my boy, no matter
what he may've done.

I'll take it to the post office for
you, if you like.

You don't have to.

And if you need anything else -

anything at all -

just ask.

Set yourself down,
I'll fetch some tea.

Tristan seems to have
turned over a new leaf.

In fact, I'd say he's turned over
a whole garden of them.

It's early days yet.

But I must admit it feels
like a weight's been lifted.

What weight might that be?

A son's promise to his dying father.

You're lucky to have him so close.

Why is it the ones we love most
cause the most pain?

Sorry, Mrs Hall, would you mind
passing me the milk?

I've got hold of the pelvic girdle,
listen as I move it.

I barely heard nowt.

The bones are moving.

I'm afraid the pelvis is broken.

What's all this now?

You said it were milk fever.

It was.

It is.

Then what're you on about
its pelvis being broken?

Tristan, he's talking
a whole lot of rot, isn't he?

You're welcome to carry out
your own examination.

Oh, no, I'm not getting my
fingers burnt on this one.

So if its pelvis is broken,
what're you going to do about it?

I'm afraid she's got no strength
left in her hind legs.

The only thing you can do is get
her off to the butchers.

Tosh.

We'll see her right.

All she needs is
a sheepskin on the back.

It won't make the blindest
bit of difference.

There's nothing more
that can be done.

I'm sorry.

I need 25 pounds for it.

I'm sure that's what you want.

But wants and needs are
two very different things.

Mind starting her up?

Running a little rough.

Know much about cars, then?

I'll give you 18.

20.

18.

20 with conditions.

What conditions?

One condition.

Audrey has a big heart,
she opens it up to everyone.

Even those that don't always
deserve it.

Her son?

Edward.

He'll break her heart again
and again but she'll never learn.

Look out for her for me?

And you'll take 25?

Oh, he's here.

Mrs H, if that tastes half
as good as it smells,

Pumphrey can keep her stupid party.

They're back.

Tristan?

What have I done?

Come with me.

I'm afraid we've had a slight issue
with Handshaw's cow.

Never mind about that.
Everyone outside. Quickly.

Come on. Hurry up.

This is more important.

What do you think?

It's a car. What of it?

Not just any car.

It's yours.

- Sorry.
- I was coming to that.

I couldn't keep it in any longer.

You've bought me a car?

It just about qualifies as one.

I felt perhaps you deserved one,
after all your hard work.

And now you've qualified,

we'll be wanting to send you out
on your own eventually.

I don't know what to say.

Don't say anything,
just get in the damn thing.

Give the boy a chance.

Go on Tris, before he
pops a blood vessel.

You shouldn't've done this,
Siegfried. It's too much.

I should.

I'll never forget the day
Father gave me my first car.

It struck me that's a memory you
never got to share with him.

Anyway.

We've got a party to be
preparing for.

Come on, James, those debs
won't dance themselves.

There you are.

Where's your jacket?

Just finishing up now.

Here you go, James.

Thank you.

I tell you what, Tris...

...when I get back, you and I will
crack open a bottle of my finest,

sit up and put the world to rights.

How does that sound?

I'd like that.

But don't go thinking you can help
yourself to any while I'm away.

If you do, I shall know.

Goodbye.

Thanks again for the suit, Tristan.

Now, then, James.

Good evening.

So, at times like these, James,

frankly, we should
take what we can get.

So, if I were you,

say yes to everything
you're offered.

The food shouldn't run out,

nor should the drink

and you certainly won't run
out of people to dance with.

The state of that thing,
it's unnatural.

He'll have a bloody coronary
at this rate.

Siegfried, James.

So glad you could come.

A pleasure as always.

And look at this
delightful little man.

Look, it's Uncle Herriot.

He's been so looking
forward to seeing you.

Is that trifle I see in his bowl?

I know it's naughty but it's
the only way to keep him happy.

He finds these occasions
rather testing.

Thank goodness he has you
to keep him company.

Thank goodness indeed.

Francois. Francois.

This is Tricki's guest,
Uncle Herriot.

Make certain his glass never
runs dry.

As for you, there are ladies in
there in need of entertainment.

Then let us begin with my
absolute favourite.

Good evening, Miss Alderson.

Hiya.

Paws off.

This is Uncle Herriot's.

I didn't know you were related.

We're not.

That's just what he calls me.

I mean, what Mrs Pumphrey
calls me on his behalf.

Auntie Alderson, I have
been since he was a pup.

Has he always been a porker?

You wouldn't believe the things
I've seen this chap put away.

Right, I don't suppose
you know what this is?

Caviar, I'd guess.

If I were you,
I'd give it to the dog.

He's on his fifth already.

He'll dance with five more before
the end of the night.

But never more than once.

George. You look like you've
been enjoying yourself.

Oh, haven't I just.

I heard one of your
qualified assistants

tried to send a perfectly
good cow to the butchers.

What the devil are you
talking about?

I try to take Jess for a run
that way most mornings.

Well, in future,
I'll bear that in mind.

I'm sorry if you saw more
than you bargained for.

I didn't think there was
anyone around.

No need to apologise.

If you hadn't got there first,
I was going to do the same thing.

I find it sets me up for the day,
makes me feel so...

Alive?

Aye. That's it.

Alive.

Up in the Dales,
surrounded by those hills,

there's no place on Earth like it.

Careful. Once it gets in your bones,
it's hard to get out.

I'm not sure I want it to.

Good.

I was wondering, I
hope you don't mind me,

but could I see you some time?

I mean, I know I can see you -
you're right in front of me.

I'm sorry, I shouldn't've...

It's not that, it's just...

This is where you're hiding.

I wasn't hiding.

No, I know.

Who's this?

James Herriot.

Siegfried's new assistant.

Oh. Hugh Hulton, pleasure.

Was I interrupting?

No, not really.

Well, we were just catching up.

Shall we dance?

Yes.

I think so, Francois, don't you?

You and I are going for a
little drive.

Excuse me.

Excuse me.

Thank you.

Excuse me.

Six runs,

taking you to 22-2.

Oh, Bradman scores a towering
six over mid-wicket.

The Australians celebrate wildly
and perhaps a little uncouthly

but that's often their way.

Not enjoying yourself?

Talk about it?

Ooh, an appeal.

Is he out? Or has he survived?

Caught.

He's caught out.

Aren't you?

How did you know?

It were in the pocket of
your jacket, you daft beggar.

I'm sorry...

Why did you lie?

I didn't lie, technically speaking.

You told him you passed your
last exam.

Which is true.

I did pass my last exam.

I just omitted the fact that I
failed the two that proceeded it.

You silly boy.

You silly, silly boy.

I didn't know he was going
to buy me a car.

What did you think
was going to happen?

I didn't.

What?

Think.

I just couldn't bear
the thought of failing again.

It's hard, isn't it, love?

I'm sorry.

He's going to kill me.

Don't be silly.

He might maim you.

He's your brother,

he'll never stop caring for you,

no matter what you do.

But it can't go on.

He needs to know the truth.

Oh.

I don't understand.

All she needed were
t'sheepskin on her back.

But I felt the bone moving.

The pelvis was broken.

Feels solid enough now.

Tell me, how long ago did she calf?

Three day ago.

There you are, then.

The ligaments hadn't tightened up
again following the birth.

A rudimentary error, Herriot.

We calls her Lazarus now.

Let's hope the party's put him
in a good mood.

Good party?

Bloody disaster.

Tell them, Herriot.

I made a mistake.

He made a complete hash
of treating Handshaw's cow -

something which Pandhi took great
delight in pointing out.

Honestly, James, I'm beginning to
wonder if perhaps

you oughtn't be the one learning
from Tristan.

Wouldn't be so sure about that.

Don't be modest. It's terribly dull.

Here, it's nearly as old as you are.

Cheers.

What?

What is it?

I think perhaps James and I
should retire.

Hm?

Righto.

Little brother?

I suggest we retreat
to a safe distance.

If such a thing exists.

Siegfried?

Say something.

You failed?

Failed is a bit strong,
I just didn't quite pass.

You failed.

I'm sorry, I just...

What the hell have you been
doing all this term?

Boozing, I shouldn't wonder.
Chasing women, spending my money.

Anything but work, I should think.

It's a damn disgrace!

The worst of it is, I actually
started to think you might be

changing your ways.

I didn't try to fail...

No, but you didn't try very hard
to pass either.

And then you lied about it.

Ah, now technically, I didn't lie...

Technically?!
I bought you a bloody car!

I was proud of you.

I was proud of you.

Where the devil do you
think you're going?

I thought we were done.

We're done when
I damn well say we're done!

All right, we're done!

Mrs Hall, have you been moving my
things again?

By moving, do you mean
tidying away your possessions

that you leave scattered
without rhyme nor reason?

Keys?

On the hook in the hall.

Where they live.

Well, I certainly won't forget my
first car in a hurry.

He'll forgive you, eventually.

Yes, I'm sure he will.

Then I have no doubt
he'll find something else

to be cross with me about.

I'm sure that goes for me too.

The only way we'll survive my
brother is if we stick together.

Tristan?

Herriot?

Run. Go!

James?

What the bloody hell
happened to my car?!

Tristan!

Herriot!

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