Alias Smith and Jones (1971–1973): Season 3, Episode 1 - The Long Chase - full transcript
While evading a posse, the boys run into their old friend, Harry Briscoe (J.D. Cannon in his last appearance on this show), who's been fired by the Bannerman Detective Agency and is now a derelict. They sympathize with him and convince him to use his old credentials to fool the smart sheriff and his dumb deputy by "arresting" them before the posse does. The sheriff lets Briscoe go with Heyes and Curry, but sends the deputy along on the stagecoach to Wyoming. Now to fool the deputy, which is fairly easily done, and to fool the sheriff a second time, which is much harder. Fortunately, they happen upon a pair of bank-robbing killers whom only Briscoe recognizes, and he uses trickery to catch them and get back into the Bannerman Agency's good graces. The ending of this show, as the boys ride through the Utah countryside and chat, was recycled for all subsequent episodes (the boys are filmed in long shot and their dialog was changed for each show). This show and parts of several others were subsequently syndicated under the title "The Long Chase," shown as a TV-movie separate from the series episodes.
Who got shot?
What'd he look like?
Get out of my way.
I saw one of them.
Get the sheriff.
Get the sheriff...
Posse...They rode out that way.
Hannibal Heyes and Kid Curry.
The two most successful outlaws
in the history of the West.
And in all the trains and banks they robbed,
they never shot anyone.
This made our two
Kansas cousins very popular.
With everyone
but the railroads and the banks.
One thing we gotta get Heyes.
What's that?
Outta this business.
The governor can't come flat out
and give you amnesty now.
First you gotta prove you deserve it.
Lom, are you saying that all
we have to do is stay out of trouble
until the governor figures
that we deserved amnesty?
And in the meantime
we'll still be wanted?
That's true.
Till then only you me and the governor
will know about it.
It'll be our secret.
That's a good deal?
I sure wish the governor would let a
few more people in on our secret.
Howdy.
He thinks he knows us.
You suppose he's right?
If he does anything about it he's right, whether he know us or not.
Do you see 3 men ride through here?
3 men?
No, I didn't.
Say, it ain't a very big place
Anybody in particular?
Outlaws.
They must have gone around you.
We need fresh horses
and we'll trade you these
and 5 dollars for those 2 over there.
You?re lawmen?
Deputies.
6 dollars more and you got
yourselves a trade.
You got a deal.
You rent horses?
Rent horses?
Yeah, by the hour let's say.
By the hour?
Well, if you did rent horses,
how much would you charge by the hour?
I reckon I'd have to have
about 50 cents by the hour.
You got another deal.
What you fellas doing?
Leave my horses alone.
Don't do that.
Cut that out.
We're renting them.
Pay him Carruthers!
Hey!
What are you doing?
It'll take about an hour to round them up.
This ought to more than cover it.
Come on.
Giddup.
Hey!
Did you see two men ride through here?
You mean three men, don'tcha?
Nah, two men.
Kid Curry and Hannibal Heyes.
Haven't you got any horses?
Did have till about 10 minutes ago,
but somebody's drove ?em off.
Now who'd do a dang thing like that?
Ki-Kid Curry and Hannibal Heyes?
You two!?
What are you fellas doing here?
Harry?
Harry Briscoe.
Harry, you know what we're doing here.
We're running.
The question is what are you doing here?
Sure is a small world, isn't it?
I was hoping you weren't going to say that, Harry.
Harry, what are you doing here?
Lost my job.
How'd it happen this time, Harry?
They just...
let me go.
No.
Why?
They said incompetence.
Can you imagine that?
Harry Briscoe, incompetent?
Oh, no, Harry we can't.
We've met lots of
Bannerman detectives in our time
and there's no way you could be any more
incompetent than they were.
Thanks, Heyes.
Sure.
It's a wonderful surprise
running into you fellas this way.
You know...
you're the only real friends I've got
in this rotten world.
I don't think I'd let that get around,
if I were you, Harry.
World could get even rottener.
That's certainly true, ?cause ...
Heyes,
what's he doing?
Climbing that telegraph pole.
Yeah, I can see that, but why?
If he has the right kind of equipment with
him, he can send a message from there.
Well, I suppose we could put a few miles
between them and us and then jump off.
Without horses?
Without water?
And the nearest town
the one they're telegraphing?
Yeah, the same town this train will be
stopping at in 30 minutes, Little Grande.
Least at the moment we're leaving them far behind.
Kid, the first American
whoever saw this part of the country
said it was not going to be able
to sustain human life
and he was absolutely right,
and we can't jump anyway.
They'd run us down like that.
Harry, do you still have your
Bannerman detective credentials?
Nope. Nope. Nope.
Now, Harry.
Yeah, yeah, I got ?em.
They tried to get them back,
but I...
I told them I lost them.
And I bet they believed you too,
didn't they, Harry?
Harry, do you have a razor in that bag?
Razor?
Of course, I got a razor.
Do I have a razor.
Heyes, you're a genius.
Hey, what is this?
Alright, you two.
Get out!
What's going on here, mister?
Howdy, Sheriff.
Harry Briscoe, here.
Bannerman Detectives, Incorporated.
These men are my prisoners, Sheriff.
Your prisoners, huh?
You know who these men are?
Do I know?
I've been on their trail for three months.
Lost them a few days ago.
Then they made the mistake of jumping
on this train and I grabbed them.
Who are they?
You don't have to whisper.
We know who they are.
Do you?
Sheriff, a BDI man doesn't arrest someone
without knowing exactly who he is.
These men are Hannibal Heyes and Kid Curry,
and I intend to personally deliver them over
to the Wyoming authorities.
Heyes, sheriff's been in that
telegraph office for 15 minutes.
Got to be checking on Harry.
Or telling the sheriff in Cheyenne we're on our way.
That takes a quarter of an hour?
If he's checking on me,
we're all in trouble.
Shut up, Harry.
Briscoe,
I've decided to send my deputy,
Wermser, with you.
Even handcuffed and unarmed,
these men are dangerous.
Sheriff, when you've been an agent
of the BDI as long as Harry Briscoe...
BDI likes to think of itself as
some kind of federal police force.
Well, it ain't.
It's got no official status.
Now, the reward might be yours,
but the responsibility's mine.
Use your cuffs, Wermser.
Alright, sheriff.
You got that, Wermser?
I'm holding you responsible for getting
these men into the jail in Cheyenne.
Yes, sir.
Alright, let's load up.
And then on the next night,
I'll miss the church social.
Now that'll be Saturday.
Then on Sunday...
Mr. Wermser,
you remember what the sheriff said
about our reputation?
Yeah.
Well, if you don't stop complaining
about the trouble we've caused you,
I'm going to do my best to live up to it,
you understand?
Well, all I was trying to say is,
I wouldn't be here at all
if the sheriff had got an answer
to that blamed telegraph he sent.
What telegraph?
The one about Briscoe here.
He sent a wire back to that
Bannerman Detective Company,
to see if he was good enough to take these
two men back to Cheyenne, by yourself.
But he didn't get no answer.
Leastwise not in time.
So here I am.
Get moving.
I saw some dust back there.
Might be the Devil's Hole Gang.
I don't see no dust back there.
I don't see nothing back there.
Well, I did.
That's ah, one of the special qualifications
to be a BDI man, son.
Vision.
Average vision just ain't good enough.
By golly, there is something back there.
Well, now we're going to see if you BDI
agents are as smart as people say you are.
But you better think fast, Mr. Briscoe,
cause those are our boys back there,
there's no doubt about that.
I knew Wheat and Kyle wouldn't let us down.
Unfortunately, Kid, I think Detective
Briscoe is going to come up with something.
I don't know, Heyes.
Maybe BDI men really aren't that smart.
Is there a ranch near here?
Yeh-ah, this is Circle Y country.
We ought to be passing their road
in the next 3 or 4 miles.
Give them the whip!
Square it in the eye, driver!
We're being pursued.
I knew he'd think of something.
Stay ahead of them as long as you can.
Now get moving!
Now wait a minute, Mr. Briscoe, I'm supposed
to stay with you and them outlaws.
I explained that to you already.
You got to keep sticking your head out every
now and then or the gang will catch on.
They'll know the stage is empty.
Now get moving! Get moving!
Let's get moving.
How'd I do, fellas?
You did great.
Come on!
And the BDI fired you
for incompetence?
Well, will you look at this?
Now what do we got here?
Harry Briscoe here.
Bannerman Detectives, Incorporated.
I was taking these prisoners
to Cheyenne by stagecoach,
and their gang tried to overtake us,
but I fooled them.
Aren't they handsome?
Jumped out of the coach.
Used it to decoy the gang away
and came here for help.
Now that sounds serious.
What can I do Mr. Driscoll?
Briscoe.
Harry Bartholomew Briscoe.
All I need from you, sir,
is three horses,
and I'll be on my way.
The agency will, of course,
reimburse you for horses and gear,
and I will give you a signed receipt.
Ah, mister?
Ah, who are they?
I'd rather not say, pretty little lady.
It's safer not knowing who these two are.
And we're, ah,
kind of in a hurry.
Now if we're going to give you
three horses and gear,
I think we ought to know
who we're helping to hang.
Well, we need those horses.
The truth is these fellas are
Hannibal Heyes and Kid Curry.
No wonder you're in a hurry.
Saddle up some horses, boys.
Curly, get some grub together.
They can take it with them.
Are...are you really Kid Curry?
No, but he is.
Are you as good with a gun
as they say you are?
Honey, you just give me a gun
and I'll show you.
Hey Bill, stop.
Pull up, pull up!
Where are your prisoners, Wermser?
Well, ah, we thought you was, ah,
Wermser...
where are your prisoners?
We dropped them off
at the Circle Y road, Sheriff.
Me and Briscoe thought
you was the Devil's Hole Gang.
Stay with the stage, Wermser.
Go to Cheyenne.
Don't ever come back.
All clear?
I think so.
Alright, let's head south.
South?
Yeah, Cheyenne is north
and the nearest railroad is south.
There any comment?
I think we ought to head south.
Briscoe had them handcuffed and covered.
Now, it's my guess that he's taking them
up to Cheyenne, just like he said.
He seemed like a right competent fella.
They rode out heading that way,
Sheriff, heading north.
Was they really Hannibal Heyes and Kid Curry?
I wish I could say they wasn't.
Come on, boys.
They turned south.
Pete, I'm going back to town.
You stay with them just in case
they don't head for the railroad.
Jim, you and Oren you come with me.
Easy.
Come on.
His frog's cut pretty bad.
I'm gonna have to leave him.
Come on, get up with me.
We'll make it.
No question about it.
They're going to catch up with us.
I'm going to go to jail
for aiding and abetting.
No question about that at all.
There I was, sitting, nice box car.
All comfortable.
Minding my own business.
I'd have got to California.
I'd have got a job on the
San Francisco police force,
instead of being saddled
with a criminal record...
Harry, one more word out of you
and I'm going to take your horse
and leave you here for the posse.
That's what we should be doing.
And may I remind you, Harry,
that if it hadn't been for us,
you would have been in jail
6 months ago for theft.
Course you probably don't want to remember that.
Ah, fellas.
I was only just, you know, talking.
Keep your spirits up.
There's nothing I wouldn't do for you boys.
You know that. Nothing!
I think you just came up with the right word, Harry.
Well, think we can make it to the tracks,
but the train's not going the right way.
It's moving, Kid.
And as long as it's moving, it's going the right way.
Fellas, that train will take us back to Little Grande.
Give us your horse, Harry.
We'll skip the train.
Hah! Get outta there!
Hah! Get outta here!
Get your hands up.
Now turn around.
What you pointing a gun at us for, friends?
You can see we're not armed.
Who are you?
Um, my friend and me here,
we're out of work cowhands.
This here is Slick McSweeney.
He's a gambler as you can plainly see.
We were run out of a little mining town
just north of here.
Caught you dealing off the wrong end of the deck, huh?
They thought we was, which is just as bad.
We sure would appreciate it
if you'd invite us to sit down.
Pull up a chair.
You know, cowhands I feel friendly to,
?cause we're, uh,
out of work cowhands ourselves.
?Cept gamblers I don't like them.
Dishonest gamblers are one thing.
Honest gamblers another.
I'm honest.
Ain't no such animal as an honest gambler.
Yeah. Well, Slick tries to be dishonest,
but his heart's really not in it.
That's why he's as down and out as we are.
How far you boys going?
Little Grande.
We ain't never been there, but we hear
it's a right friendly little town.
Oh, a real friendly town,
except toward my friends here.
They got in trouble last month, with the sheriff.
They're going to have to jump off
this train before it gets there.
Remember that rock the train passes
about 10 miles this side of town.
Yeah, I remember the rock.
What about it?
You fellas jump off there.
I'll go into Little Grand and
get you some horses and grub.
Ah, you sure you know
what you're doing, Slick?
Can you fellas afford to be on this train
when it stops in Little Grande?
No, can you?
Sure, they like me there.
They like you there?
Well, they got nothing against me.
That's more than you fellas can say.
You know, Slick, I think you?re a...
No!
Um, maybe, um, maybe he's right.
I think you're both out of your minds.
What they got against you fellas
in Little Grande?
Uh, disturbing the peace.
My friend here's got a drinking problem.
Oh, yeah?
Like what?
When he drinks...
he, uh,
he thinks he's Kid Curry.
Well, so long, Slick.
Alright, tell me what are we doing here?
Well, Harry was right about one thing.
They'll search that train in Little Grande.
We had to jump.
Yeah, but did we have to jump
10 miles from town?
10 miles from water and horses,
not to mention food?
Well, Harry had something in mind.
Harry had something in mind?!
Is that what I heard you say?
Oh, Kid, all the time I was talking
he was...
jabbing me in the back with his thumb.
And that's your answer?
All of it?!
Yeah, I think that's all of it.
Heyes, I depend on you to do our thinking.
I trust you!
Now, have you got any reason at all to think
that Harry isn't going to get arrested
and tossed into jail as soon as that train
gets into Little Grande?
No, Kid, I...
I tried to come up with a reason,
but I didn't make it.
Yeah, but you decided to jump anyway?!
You know it's very probable that the sheriff
who seemed to have a brain in his head
split up the posse and
went back to Little Grande, isn't it?
Very probable.
And they really don't like Harry
in Little Grande, now do they,
meaning the sheriff.
Kid, I lost my head.
I...
He was just, he was poking me in the
back all the time he was talking and I...
I thought he had something in mind.
You know, the plain gut truth of it is...
I'm stupid, gullible and idiotic.
Those are your good points.
You know, Kid,
you don't know what a low opinion I have
of myself, and how little I deserve it.
Maybe we ought to bust up.
Maybe we ought to bust up?
How?
There's a posse out there somewhere that's
probably going to walk over us any minute.
Let's talk about busting up
when we've got some place to go, okay?
Preferably two places!
Alright we've faced it.
We're not going to get any help from Harry.
So what do we do?
I guess we wait and take a train going east.
Are you kidding me?
They go by here top speed.
20, 25 miles an hour.
Rip our arms off.
Well, we can wait until dark.
Walk back to town.
It's only 10 miles.
Think I'd rather get my arm ripped off.
I tell you what, Kid.
If you...
Lay ?em down.
What do you got?
Three threes.
Let me see.
That ain't a little trey.
It's a deuce.
Alright, alright.
Dang cards so wore I can't see the spots.
Now, where'd you get that?
And what are you going with it?
I'm putting you both under arrest.
What the devil for?
For grand theft.
You're Hank Silvers and you're Mugs McGeehu.
And I'm Harry Briscoe of the BDI.
I spotted the two of you
the minute I got on this train.
Alright you two, get out.
Well, afternoon, Sheriff.
Here I am again.
Harry Briscoe,
Bannerman Detectives Incorporated.
I can see that, Briscoe,
but I can't believe it.
You mind telling me what you think you're doing?
My job, Sheriff.
I'd like you to meet my prisoners,
Mugs McGeehu and Hank Silvers.
There's a 3,000$ reward on each of them
in the state of Colorado for grand theft.
If they are McGeehu and Silvers, they're
wanted for murder right here in Utah,
committed a few days ago at Cottonwood.
Get them up to the jail, boys.
Not you, Briscoe.
We got some talking to do.
Talking? Fine, sheriff, fine.
What would you like to...
Put that gun away.
Yes, sir.
Now, what happened to Curry and Heyes?
You see, Sheriff, the Devil's Hole Gang was
trying to overtake us, and...
That was me, Briscoe.
You chasing the stagecoach?
No.
Yeah.
And I got a hunch you knew it all along.
Not me.
No, would I have jumped out of that coach
if I had knew it was you back there?
Yeah, I think you would.
Never!
Anyway, they jumped me.
You know, you're right Sheriff,
that is a dangerous pair.
They jumped you?
While they were handcuffed?
That's right.
They, uh...
they...
coordinated their action, you see.
They...
leaped right off their horses on to me.
They...
overpowered me.
Where?
Well, uh...
now I guess you spotted
where we turned south.
I did.
That's where it happened.
Right there.
And you know, Sheriff,
they left me without so much as a horse.
That's when I jumped on the train.
And that's where I captured Mugs McGeehu
and Hank Silvers right in that boxcar.
That's quite a story, Briscoe.
It might even hold water except for one little thing.
Why would Heyes and Curry let you keep your gun?
Because they took the bullets out first,
Sheriff.
See.
You know, Briscoe,
I sent a wire to Bannerman Detectives
Incorporated, inquiring about you.
When they got around to it, their answer was
that you didn't even work for them.
That's standard procedure, Sheriff.
To protect we agents.
How in the devil would that
protect their agents?
We work undercover a lot, see.
That's standard procedure.
Working under different identities.
Now, if I was to send that telegraph
and use the right code phrase,
everything would be cleared up, Sheriff.
Decided you're right, Kid.
Our best chance is the train east.
Yeah, if we don't starve to death
before it comes by.
I wonder what Harry's doing.
He's doing time in the Little Grande jail,
where he belongs.
I keep feeling that something
must have made him think
that he could stay out of jail and help us.
Sure, it's called stupidity.
Harry Briscoe, et cetera.
Have informed the governor of
McGeehu Silvers capture. Stop.
Have claimed reward.
Stop.
Return to Denver office immediately.
Stop.
Congratulations.
Stop.
You know I think I see what you mean
about the right code word.
You get any part of that 6,0000$ reward?
20%.
Which leaves the Bannerman Agency 80%.
Right?
Yes, Sheriff.
That's how it works out.
You know, Briscoe,
you're a lucky, lucky man.
You lost me Heyes and Curry, but you
brought in McGeehu and Silvers instead.
And since a lot of folks love Heyes and
Curry for making the railroads unhappy,
and since the whole territory's
all fired up about
what McGeehu and Silvers done in Cottonwood,
I'm way ahead on the deal.
I appreciate that, Sheriff.
You appreciate what?
I ain't even told you what I'm going to do yet.
You want to know what I'm going to do?
Well, I'm sure I'm going to appreciate it,
Sheriff, whatever you do.
I'm going to let you go,
but I want you out of town
on the first available transportation.
I appreciate that, Sheriff.
You realize, Heyes, we've never
tried to jump a train at night before?
Yup.
Think we can do it?
I'll tell you later.
Well, maybe we'll get lucky
and the train won't come till tomorrow.
That's what I like about you, Kid, you
always see the bright side of the situation.
I was going to sit here thinking
we were in serious trouble.
Kid!
Kid!
Kid.
Kid, you alright?
Hey, hey.
No...
oh, Jesus.
What'd you do?
Jump off the train?
Yeah.
Yeah, I, ah...
had, ah, another one of those
spells of stupidity and
found myself up to my ears in hot sand.
Heyes, you got to pull yourself together.
Kid, now what would you do without me, huh?
Did you ever think about that?
Constantly.
Heyes, if it wasn't for you,
I wouldn't be where I am today.
Let's go back to our office.
Plan our next move.
Do you know, Heyes,
maybe we should split up,
cause we've never committed murder,
and I will soon be committing a murder.
Good old Harry?
Good old Harry.
I'm going to track him down
and strangle him with my bare hands.
No, Kid, you are not going to do that,
because I'm going to track Harry down,
take him out into the desert,
where I'm going to bury him up to his neck,
lathen him with molasses,
and then rent a colony of ants.
Heyes,
we've got to walk into town tonight
and get some food and water.
And some horses.
Yeah.
Think we can make it?
We got to try.
Yeah.
You realize how long we've
gone without food?
It doesn't matter, Kid.
It's water you can't do without.
Need I also point out that we've gone
the same length of time without water?
No.
You really think we can sit here another
whole day and get up and walk 10 miles?
Maybe we'll get lucky, Kid.
Look on the bright side.
Hold it right there.
Where you taking these horses, son?
They're mine.
Now, we didn't say they weren't yours.
Where you taking them?
That's for me to know and you to find out.
Now, that's what we're trying to do.
Where you taking them?
To some very important people.
Who?
Can't say.
Anyway, you don't scare me.
You don't have no guns.
Well, now you see those bushes over there?
Now we got friends hidden in those
bushes and they've got guns.
Now where you taking those horses?
I can't say.
The man who's paying me
is very important, too.
I promised him
I wouldn't let nothing go wrong.
That man wouldn't be Detective
Harry Briscoe of the BDI, would it?
Those horses are for us, son.
Well, Mr. Briscoe said his friends
would be over at Immigrants rock.
That's where we were.
Did he tell you our names?
Yeah, but I ain't going to tell you.
How about Smith and Jones?
There's grub in the saddle bags and water in the canteens.
Thank you, son.
Detective Briscoe will be proud of you.
Thanks.
But what about your friends?
Out there in the bushes.
What are they going to ride?
We haven't got any friends, son.
That's our trouble.
The only friend we've got in this
whole rotten world is Harry Briscoe.
That's terrible.
Yeah, we never let ourselves forget it.
By the way, when you saw Detective Briscoe,
how was he getting along with your sheriff?
Real good, I guess.
He brung in them two killers.
What two killers?
Mugs McGeehu and Hank Silvers.
Thanks, son.
You better be getting on home now, son.
You know, Heyes, this is really beautiful country.
We're going to have to stop
running through it so fast.
We never get to see anything.
You're right, Kid.
We got to give some time and effort
to just looking and appreciating.
Well, to do that
we got to slow down, right?
Right.
It's practically immoral to race through country like this.
Right.
Howdy.
What'd he look like?
Get out of my way.
I saw one of them.
Get the sheriff.
Get the sheriff...
Posse...They rode out that way.
Hannibal Heyes and Kid Curry.
The two most successful outlaws
in the history of the West.
And in all the trains and banks they robbed,
they never shot anyone.
This made our two
Kansas cousins very popular.
With everyone
but the railroads and the banks.
One thing we gotta get Heyes.
What's that?
Outta this business.
The governor can't come flat out
and give you amnesty now.
First you gotta prove you deserve it.
Lom, are you saying that all
we have to do is stay out of trouble
until the governor figures
that we deserved amnesty?
And in the meantime
we'll still be wanted?
That's true.
Till then only you me and the governor
will know about it.
It'll be our secret.
That's a good deal?
I sure wish the governor would let a
few more people in on our secret.
Howdy.
He thinks he knows us.
You suppose he's right?
If he does anything about it he's right, whether he know us or not.
Do you see 3 men ride through here?
3 men?
No, I didn't.
Say, it ain't a very big place
Anybody in particular?
Outlaws.
They must have gone around you.
We need fresh horses
and we'll trade you these
and 5 dollars for those 2 over there.
You?re lawmen?
Deputies.
6 dollars more and you got
yourselves a trade.
You got a deal.
You rent horses?
Rent horses?
Yeah, by the hour let's say.
By the hour?
Well, if you did rent horses,
how much would you charge by the hour?
I reckon I'd have to have
about 50 cents by the hour.
You got another deal.
What you fellas doing?
Leave my horses alone.
Don't do that.
Cut that out.
We're renting them.
Pay him Carruthers!
Hey!
What are you doing?
It'll take about an hour to round them up.
This ought to more than cover it.
Come on.
Giddup.
Hey!
Did you see two men ride through here?
You mean three men, don'tcha?
Nah, two men.
Kid Curry and Hannibal Heyes.
Haven't you got any horses?
Did have till about 10 minutes ago,
but somebody's drove ?em off.
Now who'd do a dang thing like that?
Ki-Kid Curry and Hannibal Heyes?
You two!?
What are you fellas doing here?
Harry?
Harry Briscoe.
Harry, you know what we're doing here.
We're running.
The question is what are you doing here?
Sure is a small world, isn't it?
I was hoping you weren't going to say that, Harry.
Harry, what are you doing here?
Lost my job.
How'd it happen this time, Harry?
They just...
let me go.
No.
Why?
They said incompetence.
Can you imagine that?
Harry Briscoe, incompetent?
Oh, no, Harry we can't.
We've met lots of
Bannerman detectives in our time
and there's no way you could be any more
incompetent than they were.
Thanks, Heyes.
Sure.
It's a wonderful surprise
running into you fellas this way.
You know...
you're the only real friends I've got
in this rotten world.
I don't think I'd let that get around,
if I were you, Harry.
World could get even rottener.
That's certainly true, ?cause ...
Heyes,
what's he doing?
Climbing that telegraph pole.
Yeah, I can see that, but why?
If he has the right kind of equipment with
him, he can send a message from there.
Well, I suppose we could put a few miles
between them and us and then jump off.
Without horses?
Without water?
And the nearest town
the one they're telegraphing?
Yeah, the same town this train will be
stopping at in 30 minutes, Little Grande.
Least at the moment we're leaving them far behind.
Kid, the first American
whoever saw this part of the country
said it was not going to be able
to sustain human life
and he was absolutely right,
and we can't jump anyway.
They'd run us down like that.
Harry, do you still have your
Bannerman detective credentials?
Nope. Nope. Nope.
Now, Harry.
Yeah, yeah, I got ?em.
They tried to get them back,
but I...
I told them I lost them.
And I bet they believed you too,
didn't they, Harry?
Harry, do you have a razor in that bag?
Razor?
Of course, I got a razor.
Do I have a razor.
Heyes, you're a genius.
Hey, what is this?
Alright, you two.
Get out!
What's going on here, mister?
Howdy, Sheriff.
Harry Briscoe, here.
Bannerman Detectives, Incorporated.
These men are my prisoners, Sheriff.
Your prisoners, huh?
You know who these men are?
Do I know?
I've been on their trail for three months.
Lost them a few days ago.
Then they made the mistake of jumping
on this train and I grabbed them.
Who are they?
You don't have to whisper.
We know who they are.
Do you?
Sheriff, a BDI man doesn't arrest someone
without knowing exactly who he is.
These men are Hannibal Heyes and Kid Curry,
and I intend to personally deliver them over
to the Wyoming authorities.
Heyes, sheriff's been in that
telegraph office for 15 minutes.
Got to be checking on Harry.
Or telling the sheriff in Cheyenne we're on our way.
That takes a quarter of an hour?
If he's checking on me,
we're all in trouble.
Shut up, Harry.
Briscoe,
I've decided to send my deputy,
Wermser, with you.
Even handcuffed and unarmed,
these men are dangerous.
Sheriff, when you've been an agent
of the BDI as long as Harry Briscoe...
BDI likes to think of itself as
some kind of federal police force.
Well, it ain't.
It's got no official status.
Now, the reward might be yours,
but the responsibility's mine.
Use your cuffs, Wermser.
Alright, sheriff.
You got that, Wermser?
I'm holding you responsible for getting
these men into the jail in Cheyenne.
Yes, sir.
Alright, let's load up.
And then on the next night,
I'll miss the church social.
Now that'll be Saturday.
Then on Sunday...
Mr. Wermser,
you remember what the sheriff said
about our reputation?
Yeah.
Well, if you don't stop complaining
about the trouble we've caused you,
I'm going to do my best to live up to it,
you understand?
Well, all I was trying to say is,
I wouldn't be here at all
if the sheriff had got an answer
to that blamed telegraph he sent.
What telegraph?
The one about Briscoe here.
He sent a wire back to that
Bannerman Detective Company,
to see if he was good enough to take these
two men back to Cheyenne, by yourself.
But he didn't get no answer.
Leastwise not in time.
So here I am.
Get moving.
I saw some dust back there.
Might be the Devil's Hole Gang.
I don't see no dust back there.
I don't see nothing back there.
Well, I did.
That's ah, one of the special qualifications
to be a BDI man, son.
Vision.
Average vision just ain't good enough.
By golly, there is something back there.
Well, now we're going to see if you BDI
agents are as smart as people say you are.
But you better think fast, Mr. Briscoe,
cause those are our boys back there,
there's no doubt about that.
I knew Wheat and Kyle wouldn't let us down.
Unfortunately, Kid, I think Detective
Briscoe is going to come up with something.
I don't know, Heyes.
Maybe BDI men really aren't that smart.
Is there a ranch near here?
Yeh-ah, this is Circle Y country.
We ought to be passing their road
in the next 3 or 4 miles.
Give them the whip!
Square it in the eye, driver!
We're being pursued.
I knew he'd think of something.
Stay ahead of them as long as you can.
Now get moving!
Now wait a minute, Mr. Briscoe, I'm supposed
to stay with you and them outlaws.
I explained that to you already.
You got to keep sticking your head out every
now and then or the gang will catch on.
They'll know the stage is empty.
Now get moving! Get moving!
Let's get moving.
How'd I do, fellas?
You did great.
Come on!
And the BDI fired you
for incompetence?
Well, will you look at this?
Now what do we got here?
Harry Briscoe here.
Bannerman Detectives, Incorporated.
I was taking these prisoners
to Cheyenne by stagecoach,
and their gang tried to overtake us,
but I fooled them.
Aren't they handsome?
Jumped out of the coach.
Used it to decoy the gang away
and came here for help.
Now that sounds serious.
What can I do Mr. Driscoll?
Briscoe.
Harry Bartholomew Briscoe.
All I need from you, sir,
is three horses,
and I'll be on my way.
The agency will, of course,
reimburse you for horses and gear,
and I will give you a signed receipt.
Ah, mister?
Ah, who are they?
I'd rather not say, pretty little lady.
It's safer not knowing who these two are.
And we're, ah,
kind of in a hurry.
Now if we're going to give you
three horses and gear,
I think we ought to know
who we're helping to hang.
Well, we need those horses.
The truth is these fellas are
Hannibal Heyes and Kid Curry.
No wonder you're in a hurry.
Saddle up some horses, boys.
Curly, get some grub together.
They can take it with them.
Are...are you really Kid Curry?
No, but he is.
Are you as good with a gun
as they say you are?
Honey, you just give me a gun
and I'll show you.
Hey Bill, stop.
Pull up, pull up!
Where are your prisoners, Wermser?
Well, ah, we thought you was, ah,
Wermser...
where are your prisoners?
We dropped them off
at the Circle Y road, Sheriff.
Me and Briscoe thought
you was the Devil's Hole Gang.
Stay with the stage, Wermser.
Go to Cheyenne.
Don't ever come back.
All clear?
I think so.
Alright, let's head south.
South?
Yeah, Cheyenne is north
and the nearest railroad is south.
There any comment?
I think we ought to head south.
Briscoe had them handcuffed and covered.
Now, it's my guess that he's taking them
up to Cheyenne, just like he said.
He seemed like a right competent fella.
They rode out heading that way,
Sheriff, heading north.
Was they really Hannibal Heyes and Kid Curry?
I wish I could say they wasn't.
Come on, boys.
They turned south.
Pete, I'm going back to town.
You stay with them just in case
they don't head for the railroad.
Jim, you and Oren you come with me.
Easy.
Come on.
His frog's cut pretty bad.
I'm gonna have to leave him.
Come on, get up with me.
We'll make it.
No question about it.
They're going to catch up with us.
I'm going to go to jail
for aiding and abetting.
No question about that at all.
There I was, sitting, nice box car.
All comfortable.
Minding my own business.
I'd have got to California.
I'd have got a job on the
San Francisco police force,
instead of being saddled
with a criminal record...
Harry, one more word out of you
and I'm going to take your horse
and leave you here for the posse.
That's what we should be doing.
And may I remind you, Harry,
that if it hadn't been for us,
you would have been in jail
6 months ago for theft.
Course you probably don't want to remember that.
Ah, fellas.
I was only just, you know, talking.
Keep your spirits up.
There's nothing I wouldn't do for you boys.
You know that. Nothing!
I think you just came up with the right word, Harry.
Well, think we can make it to the tracks,
but the train's not going the right way.
It's moving, Kid.
And as long as it's moving, it's going the right way.
Fellas, that train will take us back to Little Grande.
Give us your horse, Harry.
We'll skip the train.
Hah! Get outta there!
Hah! Get outta here!
Get your hands up.
Now turn around.
What you pointing a gun at us for, friends?
You can see we're not armed.
Who are you?
Um, my friend and me here,
we're out of work cowhands.
This here is Slick McSweeney.
He's a gambler as you can plainly see.
We were run out of a little mining town
just north of here.
Caught you dealing off the wrong end of the deck, huh?
They thought we was, which is just as bad.
We sure would appreciate it
if you'd invite us to sit down.
Pull up a chair.
You know, cowhands I feel friendly to,
?cause we're, uh,
out of work cowhands ourselves.
?Cept gamblers I don't like them.
Dishonest gamblers are one thing.
Honest gamblers another.
I'm honest.
Ain't no such animal as an honest gambler.
Yeah. Well, Slick tries to be dishonest,
but his heart's really not in it.
That's why he's as down and out as we are.
How far you boys going?
Little Grande.
We ain't never been there, but we hear
it's a right friendly little town.
Oh, a real friendly town,
except toward my friends here.
They got in trouble last month, with the sheriff.
They're going to have to jump off
this train before it gets there.
Remember that rock the train passes
about 10 miles this side of town.
Yeah, I remember the rock.
What about it?
You fellas jump off there.
I'll go into Little Grand and
get you some horses and grub.
Ah, you sure you know
what you're doing, Slick?
Can you fellas afford to be on this train
when it stops in Little Grande?
No, can you?
Sure, they like me there.
They like you there?
Well, they got nothing against me.
That's more than you fellas can say.
You know, Slick, I think you?re a...
No!
Um, maybe, um, maybe he's right.
I think you're both out of your minds.
What they got against you fellas
in Little Grande?
Uh, disturbing the peace.
My friend here's got a drinking problem.
Oh, yeah?
Like what?
When he drinks...
he, uh,
he thinks he's Kid Curry.
Well, so long, Slick.
Alright, tell me what are we doing here?
Well, Harry was right about one thing.
They'll search that train in Little Grande.
We had to jump.
Yeah, but did we have to jump
10 miles from town?
10 miles from water and horses,
not to mention food?
Well, Harry had something in mind.
Harry had something in mind?!
Is that what I heard you say?
Oh, Kid, all the time I was talking
he was...
jabbing me in the back with his thumb.
And that's your answer?
All of it?!
Yeah, I think that's all of it.
Heyes, I depend on you to do our thinking.
I trust you!
Now, have you got any reason at all to think
that Harry isn't going to get arrested
and tossed into jail as soon as that train
gets into Little Grande?
No, Kid, I...
I tried to come up with a reason,
but I didn't make it.
Yeah, but you decided to jump anyway?!
You know it's very probable that the sheriff
who seemed to have a brain in his head
split up the posse and
went back to Little Grande, isn't it?
Very probable.
And they really don't like Harry
in Little Grande, now do they,
meaning the sheriff.
Kid, I lost my head.
I...
He was just, he was poking me in the
back all the time he was talking and I...
I thought he had something in mind.
You know, the plain gut truth of it is...
I'm stupid, gullible and idiotic.
Those are your good points.
You know, Kid,
you don't know what a low opinion I have
of myself, and how little I deserve it.
Maybe we ought to bust up.
Maybe we ought to bust up?
How?
There's a posse out there somewhere that's
probably going to walk over us any minute.
Let's talk about busting up
when we've got some place to go, okay?
Preferably two places!
Alright we've faced it.
We're not going to get any help from Harry.
So what do we do?
I guess we wait and take a train going east.
Are you kidding me?
They go by here top speed.
20, 25 miles an hour.
Rip our arms off.
Well, we can wait until dark.
Walk back to town.
It's only 10 miles.
Think I'd rather get my arm ripped off.
I tell you what, Kid.
If you...
Lay ?em down.
What do you got?
Three threes.
Let me see.
That ain't a little trey.
It's a deuce.
Alright, alright.
Dang cards so wore I can't see the spots.
Now, where'd you get that?
And what are you going with it?
I'm putting you both under arrest.
What the devil for?
For grand theft.
You're Hank Silvers and you're Mugs McGeehu.
And I'm Harry Briscoe of the BDI.
I spotted the two of you
the minute I got on this train.
Alright you two, get out.
Well, afternoon, Sheriff.
Here I am again.
Harry Briscoe,
Bannerman Detectives Incorporated.
I can see that, Briscoe,
but I can't believe it.
You mind telling me what you think you're doing?
My job, Sheriff.
I'd like you to meet my prisoners,
Mugs McGeehu and Hank Silvers.
There's a 3,000$ reward on each of them
in the state of Colorado for grand theft.
If they are McGeehu and Silvers, they're
wanted for murder right here in Utah,
committed a few days ago at Cottonwood.
Get them up to the jail, boys.
Not you, Briscoe.
We got some talking to do.
Talking? Fine, sheriff, fine.
What would you like to...
Put that gun away.
Yes, sir.
Now, what happened to Curry and Heyes?
You see, Sheriff, the Devil's Hole Gang was
trying to overtake us, and...
That was me, Briscoe.
You chasing the stagecoach?
No.
Yeah.
And I got a hunch you knew it all along.
Not me.
No, would I have jumped out of that coach
if I had knew it was you back there?
Yeah, I think you would.
Never!
Anyway, they jumped me.
You know, you're right Sheriff,
that is a dangerous pair.
They jumped you?
While they were handcuffed?
That's right.
They, uh...
they...
coordinated their action, you see.
They...
leaped right off their horses on to me.
They...
overpowered me.
Where?
Well, uh...
now I guess you spotted
where we turned south.
I did.
That's where it happened.
Right there.
And you know, Sheriff,
they left me without so much as a horse.
That's when I jumped on the train.
And that's where I captured Mugs McGeehu
and Hank Silvers right in that boxcar.
That's quite a story, Briscoe.
It might even hold water except for one little thing.
Why would Heyes and Curry let you keep your gun?
Because they took the bullets out first,
Sheriff.
See.
You know, Briscoe,
I sent a wire to Bannerman Detectives
Incorporated, inquiring about you.
When they got around to it, their answer was
that you didn't even work for them.
That's standard procedure, Sheriff.
To protect we agents.
How in the devil would that
protect their agents?
We work undercover a lot, see.
That's standard procedure.
Working under different identities.
Now, if I was to send that telegraph
and use the right code phrase,
everything would be cleared up, Sheriff.
Decided you're right, Kid.
Our best chance is the train east.
Yeah, if we don't starve to death
before it comes by.
I wonder what Harry's doing.
He's doing time in the Little Grande jail,
where he belongs.
I keep feeling that something
must have made him think
that he could stay out of jail and help us.
Sure, it's called stupidity.
Harry Briscoe, et cetera.
Have informed the governor of
McGeehu Silvers capture. Stop.
Have claimed reward.
Stop.
Return to Denver office immediately.
Stop.
Congratulations.
Stop.
You know I think I see what you mean
about the right code word.
You get any part of that 6,0000$ reward?
20%.
Which leaves the Bannerman Agency 80%.
Right?
Yes, Sheriff.
That's how it works out.
You know, Briscoe,
you're a lucky, lucky man.
You lost me Heyes and Curry, but you
brought in McGeehu and Silvers instead.
And since a lot of folks love Heyes and
Curry for making the railroads unhappy,
and since the whole territory's
all fired up about
what McGeehu and Silvers done in Cottonwood,
I'm way ahead on the deal.
I appreciate that, Sheriff.
You appreciate what?
I ain't even told you what I'm going to do yet.
You want to know what I'm going to do?
Well, I'm sure I'm going to appreciate it,
Sheriff, whatever you do.
I'm going to let you go,
but I want you out of town
on the first available transportation.
I appreciate that, Sheriff.
You realize, Heyes, we've never
tried to jump a train at night before?
Yup.
Think we can do it?
I'll tell you later.
Well, maybe we'll get lucky
and the train won't come till tomorrow.
That's what I like about you, Kid, you
always see the bright side of the situation.
I was going to sit here thinking
we were in serious trouble.
Kid!
Kid!
Kid.
Kid, you alright?
Hey, hey.
No...
oh, Jesus.
What'd you do?
Jump off the train?
Yeah.
Yeah, I, ah...
had, ah, another one of those
spells of stupidity and
found myself up to my ears in hot sand.
Heyes, you got to pull yourself together.
Kid, now what would you do without me, huh?
Did you ever think about that?
Constantly.
Heyes, if it wasn't for you,
I wouldn't be where I am today.
Let's go back to our office.
Plan our next move.
Do you know, Heyes,
maybe we should split up,
cause we've never committed murder,
and I will soon be committing a murder.
Good old Harry?
Good old Harry.
I'm going to track him down
and strangle him with my bare hands.
No, Kid, you are not going to do that,
because I'm going to track Harry down,
take him out into the desert,
where I'm going to bury him up to his neck,
lathen him with molasses,
and then rent a colony of ants.
Heyes,
we've got to walk into town tonight
and get some food and water.
And some horses.
Yeah.
Think we can make it?
We got to try.
Yeah.
You realize how long we've
gone without food?
It doesn't matter, Kid.
It's water you can't do without.
Need I also point out that we've gone
the same length of time without water?
No.
You really think we can sit here another
whole day and get up and walk 10 miles?
Maybe we'll get lucky, Kid.
Look on the bright side.
Hold it right there.
Where you taking these horses, son?
They're mine.
Now, we didn't say they weren't yours.
Where you taking them?
That's for me to know and you to find out.
Now, that's what we're trying to do.
Where you taking them?
To some very important people.
Who?
Can't say.
Anyway, you don't scare me.
You don't have no guns.
Well, now you see those bushes over there?
Now we got friends hidden in those
bushes and they've got guns.
Now where you taking those horses?
I can't say.
The man who's paying me
is very important, too.
I promised him
I wouldn't let nothing go wrong.
That man wouldn't be Detective
Harry Briscoe of the BDI, would it?
Those horses are for us, son.
Well, Mr. Briscoe said his friends
would be over at Immigrants rock.
That's where we were.
Did he tell you our names?
Yeah, but I ain't going to tell you.
How about Smith and Jones?
There's grub in the saddle bags and water in the canteens.
Thank you, son.
Detective Briscoe will be proud of you.
Thanks.
But what about your friends?
Out there in the bushes.
What are they going to ride?
We haven't got any friends, son.
That's our trouble.
The only friend we've got in this
whole rotten world is Harry Briscoe.
That's terrible.
Yeah, we never let ourselves forget it.
By the way, when you saw Detective Briscoe,
how was he getting along with your sheriff?
Real good, I guess.
He brung in them two killers.
What two killers?
Mugs McGeehu and Hank Silvers.
Thanks, son.
You better be getting on home now, son.
You know, Heyes, this is really beautiful country.
We're going to have to stop
running through it so fast.
We never get to see anything.
You're right, Kid.
We got to give some time and effort
to just looking and appreciating.
Well, to do that
we got to slow down, right?
Right.
It's practically immoral to race through country like this.
Right.
Howdy.