Alias Smith and Jones (1971–1973): Season 2, Episode 9 - The Reformation of Harry Briscoe - full transcript
In the second half of what later became the TV movie "The Gun and the Nun" (shown on CBS Late Night in the late 1970s and possibly syndicated), Harry Briscoe is on the track of Sister Isabel, née Molly, who used to work as a "typewriter" (the name applies to the job as well as the instrument during these early years) in a Kansas City bank. That is, until she allegedly embezzled $30,000 from the cash reserve and took off. Since Molly is Irish Catholic, it was a simple matter for her to join two other sisters looking to establish a mission, posing as having been assigned to them by another convent. Harry isn't fooled by the disguise, but he is also greedy and want to swipe the money and head for Mexico. "Sister Isabel" evades the boys for a while posing as a saloon girl, but Harry eventually catches her and robs her. Our heroes, realizing Harry can be a real friend to them if he's caught and given a lesson on going straight to avoid being shipped to prison, go after him.
Thank you. Goodbye!
Oh, thank you.
Sister Julia!
Why, Joshua! Thaddeus!
What a pleasant surprise.
Sister!
What are you doing here?
Now, we delivered our cattle this morning.
And we thought we'd come into town
and try to sell the wagon.
It's nice to see you.
Oh, it's wonderful to see you, Sister.
You know, we never did find Sister Isabel.
It's one of the great mysteries of my life.
Hannibal Heyes and Kid Curry
The two most successful outlaws
in the history of the West
and in all the trains and banks
they robbed they never shot anyone.
This made our two latter-day
Robin Hoods very popular
with everyone
but the railroads and the banks.
There's one thing
we gotta get, Heyes.
What's that?
Out of this business.
The governor can't come flat out
and give you amnesty now
first you gotta prove you deserve it.
So, all we've got to do is
just stay out of trouble
until the governor figures
we deserve amnesty?
But in the meantime
we'll still be wanted?
Well, that's true
until then only you me and
the governor will know about it.
It'll be our secret.
That's a good deal?
I sure wish the governor let
a few more people in our secret.
Hey, Smith!
Come on, pull!
Oh, come on, horses.
Come on!
Won't work.
Axle's broken.
Hey, Mr. Smith!
Mr. Smith, come here!
The new driver said, you gonna take
'em to Pearlman to catch the stage.
That's right.
First thing in the morning.
Well, you better leave me here,
'cause I don't wanna get these
animals any closer to town.
Sister...
hold it up right here.
Guess, this is as good place
as any to make camp.
I take it, this is where we're
going to spend the night.
Yep.
By any chance are you gentlemen Catholics?
No, Kansans, ma'am.
Kansans?
What my friend meant is we're from Kansas.
And not too many Catholics in Kansas.
You do go to church regularly?
I mean to your own church.
Oh...no...I..
wouldn't call us...regulars...
...move around a lot.
Do you go to church?
We did...yeah...
yeah...every Sunday back at the home.
The home?
Yeah, the home...for orphans.
Yeah, we...we both lost our
folks in the border war wars.
About the only place for orphans
back in those days was the
Valparaiso school for waywards.
It's easy to see they did a fine job.
Oh...well...thank you, ma'am...
They must be very proud.
Well, not real proud, no, ma'am.
You see, we ran away when we were 15.
I guess, you might say that we're
self-made...kind of.
Well, if either of you would care to join us
in the fellowship of evening prayer
please - don't hesitate.
Thank you, ma'am.
Uhm, Sister...
we have to look after the stock
...and build a fire
and make camp...you understand?
Not really.
Sister Isabel.
I swear, if you talked to her much longer
you'd've told her about
the prices on our heads.
Is that our stage?
No, Sister. It's eastbound...
the stage to Kettledrum
comes in that direction.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
Howdy!
Only grain and water to these boys, okay?
Well, I think that's the man
you're looking for
to talk about these horses with.
I hope you and Sister Isabel
have a good trip, ma'am.
Well, thank you both and...
and bless you.
Thank you.
Goodbye.
Goodbye, Sister.
Bye-bye, Sister.
The size of that pot...
Heyes, you supposed it I yell fire
a couple of seats would
open up in that game?
It wouldn't work.
They'd just take the cards with 'em.
Anybody here named Smith or Jones?
Anybody here named Smith or Jones?
What's matter?
I don't know what has happened.
I left Sister Isabel for a few
minutes to sell the horses,
and when I came out she was gone...vanished.
I looked up and down the street.
Something must have happened!
She couldn't have gone far, ma'am.
Don't worry, Sister. We'll find her.
Somebody had to see her.
A matter of fact it's,
pretty hard to lose a nun in a town like this.
Yes.
Excuse me...
you didn't see a nun go by...
10-15 minutes ago.
About this tall, young?
Did you see a nun go by dressed like this?
Young, about this tall?
Howdy, Mister.
you would have happened to see a nun go by
in the last 10 or 15 minutes.
Young, about this tall?
Yep.
You did?
Yep.
Like I told the other fella that asked,
she was headed down that way
about 20 minutes ago.
Uh, are you sure?
Mister, I can tell black horses from white
horses, and I can sure tell a nun from...
No, no,
I mean about the other fella asking.
He asked if you'd seen a nun?
Sure he did,
and he described her better than you did.
Did you tell anybody else
that she's missing?
Why, I never said a word to anyone.
What this man looked like?
Oh, snake face, eyes set too close...
citified clothes...
and he walked like he just won a raffle.
It's ring a bell?
No, but thanks just the same.
Appreciated.
Gentlemen, I think the time has
come for me to go to the sheriff.
You want to come with me?
You go ahead.
We'll just keep looking.
Ma'am.
You know, Kid, that description sounds
like it ought to mean something to us.
I should have known!
Hey, you should come and take a look.
They taking the town apart, looking for one
of those nuns we saw when we came in.
Shut your mouth and close the door.
This is her. Here's the nun.
Harry Briscoe!
How are you, Harry?
I don't get it!
What's the matter? I mean, she's in trouble
and we're trying to help her. That's all.
What kind of trouble?
Man trouble, honey - man trouble.
What other kind is there?
Hey.
Hi, Harry!
What are you boys doing in Pearlman?
What are you doing in Pearlman, Harry?
I'm proud to tell you - I'm working.
At what?
The Bannerman Detective Agency.
They welcomed me back with open arms.
Of course, they didn't know about my...
little moment of weakness.
Hadn't been for you two boys,
I don't think I'd had
the strength to overcome it.
You don't know how grateful I am.
I was desperate!
Forget it sweetie, we've all been there.
Of course, this disguise,
I mean, this really beats everything.
I sure wish, I had something like this
when I was trying to shake Charlie.
Let me take that.
You've done so much already.
Oh listen, I'm not through yet.
Come on, I'll buy you a drink.
You didn't tell us what you're doing here.
Now, boys, you know I can't do that.
A Bannerman man's job is confidential,
strictly confidential.
All right, Harry then we'll tell
you what your job is.
You're looking for a nun,
her name is Sister Isabel,
she's in her early 20s,
kind of pretty, about so tall.
How did you know that!?
'Cause we brought her into town.
Because she's turned up missing.
And because a fella gave us your
description as the one looking for her.
When I'm finished with you,
your own mother isn't gonna recognize you.
Now I'll give you boye some
information you don't have.
Now that girl's name is not Isabel,
it's Molly. Molly Cusack.
And she's not a nun, she's a typewriter.
A typewriter?
That's right.
She works one of those typewriting machines
for a bank in Independence, Missouri.
Would you believe she
robbed that bank of $30,000?
Remember, when you go downstairs
there is nothing to be afraid of.
I mean, we are West of the Mississippi,
where a woman, no matter who she is,
or how she makes her living
is still treated like queen.
Well, I just hope,
I can do what's...necessary.
Harry, how can you expect us
to believe that?
Well, that's exactly what she's done.
Got out of town by
dressing up in a nun's outfit.
Headed West.
I got worried she'd joined up
with another sister east of Ironstone
All right.
The girls steal some money
and puts on a nun's outfit.
How do you know, that this girl is the one?
Well, I don't know for sure...
I only saw her from a distance.
My hotel window over there.
I got down here, she saw me
and ran into the store.
Harry, you're getting in
deeper every minute.
What do you mean?
Now, you think about it, Harry -
a smart detective like you:
The answer will come to you.
Well, it isn't!
What you think, Harry?
Now, how did she know you?
How would she have any reason to run
unless she recognized you.
And how could she do that?
Well, you see boys I almost
caught up with her
outside Lawrence, Kansas before
she joined up with the other lady nun.
My horse went lame
or I had caught her.
I guess, that's when she saw me.
Harry, don't you ever do
anything right, not even lying?
Mr. Jones!
I'm so glad you didn't leave.
I thought maybe you'd like to be deputized.
The sheriff's enlisting everybody.
The sheriff?
What's the sheriff doing?
Dep...Deputize?
No, thank you, ma'am.
You forget, we still have that herd to move.
And I'm sure, they can find
Sister Isabel without our help, ma'am.
Oh, I hope you're right.
I'm so worried!
What do you think could have happened?
I can answer that one for you, Sister.
Oh, that's another woman, Harry.
Excuse us, Sister.
We'd like to talk with our friend here.
Now, wait a minute!
There's no reason why I
shouldn't inform the good sister
as to the true nature of the bad sister.
Except that the good sister
happens to be a friend of ours
and we're not gonna let you hurt her
with a story that may not be true.
Well, she shouldn't brought in the sheriff!
I don't need the sheriff.
Now, back at the agency
this will be a big feather in my
cap if I can solve it by myself.
Well, that's your problem!
Oh, there's nothing to it, honey.
I mean, they're probably
gonna offer you a drink.
Now, the thing to do is accept it. I mean,
you don't have to drink it, but accept it.
Anyway, they're gonna treat you real fine.
You're gonna let the sister
go to the convent in Santiago
without any word about the
Bannerman Detective Agency
...or the bank robbery.
Or any young girl posing as a nun.
Or you'll tangle with us!
All right, boys, all right.
I guess I owe you that much.
Never let it be said that Harry Briscoe
wasn't concerned for the feelings of others.
Excuse me.
Hey, Madge!
Howdy!
Open that door, Madge!
What do you want?
Will you open the door?
No! Why?
I'm a deputy!
You're what?
Yeah!
We gotta come in and search the place.
Sister...
we've conversed with our
friend Mr. Briscoe and
he thinks you can go on
to the convent without worry.
Mr. Briscoe...?
Oh, yes Sister.
You see I'm Harry Briscoe.
I have reason to believe...
He's had a lot of experience
with these things.
How long have you known
Sister Isabel, ma'am?
She joined me when I bought that wagon. Why?
Well, just idle curiosity.
Well now, Madge can sure see
you ain't got no nuns around here.
We'll get you accommodations in the hotel.
The sheriff has very graciously
given me a cell.
But he said I can have as
many visitors as I want.
You will drop in, won't you?
I don't think so, ma'am.
Thaddeus means that after one hand
of poker we'll be heading back to camp.
I see.
Goodbye, Joshua.
Mr. Briscoe.
Thaddeus.
God go with you!
Thank you. Thank you, ma'am.
Thank you.
He won that pot with a pair of queens.
What do you suppose they do buy
those seats a month in advance?
They can't either be born into it.
Harry is back.
Harry, have a seat.
Don't you have to look for Sister Isabel.
No, no point in now.
The sheriff got so many men
running around out there,
they're stumbling all over themselves.
Hey honey.
You with the red hair.
Bring me a beer, will you?
They even got men riding
the range looking for.
They'll find her.
That's what worries me.
Now I mean, I could have found
her without all this help.
No doubt about it, Harry.
Don't know how she did it
but somehow she got out of town.
If she did, there's nothing but
miles of bad water and coyotes.
I got it!
I know where she is!
Didn't you boys tell me you
had a campsite a few miles out?
And you think she's out there?
Where you boys are concerned,
I believe nothing I don't see
and only half of what I do see.
Now, you mind if I take a look around?
Check out our camp, you're welcome to.
What are you up to now?
I'm just trying to keep you happy.
As a matter of fact, Harry,
I'll tell you what. We'll go with you,
if that's what'll make you happy.
Now, that sounds like the boys I know.
It sounds like two poker players
who can't stand watching bad
players losing to each other.
Hey, Jim.
About time you gettin' back.
What's the matter with him?
He's detective, Jim.
All detectives act that way.
Satisfied?
Yeah.
Yeah, I'm satisfied.
Just what are you two fellas up to anyway?
It's all cows out there
and no steer the bunch.
Every one of those little ladies has been
bred to a prized Brahma down in Arizona.
We're getting $400 just see
they get home safe.
If I hadn't seen that,
I wouldn't believe it.
Well, you've seen it. Now if you want
to join us for supper, you're welcome.
No thanks. I'll...
I'll pick up something back in town.
I'm...I'm real sorry I didn't trust
you boys the way I should have.
No, offense intended.
Sure, Harry.
Good luck.
Thanks sure good seeing you again.
Good to seeing you.
So long, Harry.
Harry Briscoe.
You make these beans?
I'll make. I make the best beans around.
Yeah?
You should taste your coffee.
It ain't bad, too.
Hey Mr. Smith!
Mr. Smith!
I've been hearing strange sounds
coming out this wagon all morning.
You better check the cargo.
All right.
Have I got a surprise for you!
Oh, no!
Shall we ask questions or are you
gonna tell us what's going on?
Well, I'll tell you.
I'm not really Sister Isabel.
Not even a nun.
My name's Molly Cusack.
How did you get into our camp?
Well, last night after
they gave up the search,
I slipped into the back of
a buckboard headed this way.
I jumped out about a mile
from your camp and sneaked in.
I better make camp here
when you stay here talking.
I know, my behavior may
seem...strange to you.
But if he knew the terrible
danger I'm in, you'd understand.
He's an awful man, really!
A drunken beast!
He beat me! That's why
I had to get away from him.
Oh, I never wanted to marry
him in the first place.
Wait a minute.
This man, is this the one we met in town?
The dark suit, his eyes a
little too close together?
That's right.
That's him.
And you were married to him?
What's his name?
He could be using any name.
In addition to what I've told
you, he's a terrible liar.
Otherwise I'd never married him.
His name?
Bodine, George Bodine.
He's a bookkeeper.
An ordinary bookkeeper.
Before we were married he told
me he was an investment banker.
How do you like that?
Molly, we have something to tell you.
Sit down.
Sit down a minute. Over there.
Now first of all -
the story's not bad.
It's not bad at all.
There's only one reason
why we don't believe it.
Why not? It's the truth.
Yeah, Molly.
We'd absolutely believe it
except for one thing.
Well, I don't care what that man told you.
He's the world's greatest liar.
He could fool anyone!
He has a lot of bad habits,
but...there's only one thing wrong.
We've known him a long, long time.
You have?
His name isn't George Bodine.
It's not?
It's Harry Briscoe.
And Harry is not the world's
greatest at anything.
Not even lying.
You want to know the truth?
The truth is you were a typewriter working
in a bank in Independence, Missouri,
and you stole $30,000.
And Harry is an agent for the
Bannerman Detective Agency,
and now he's looking for you.
Right?
Wrong!
Wrong?
Wrong!
I was a typewriter working in the bank.
And Harry Briscoe comes along
and starts taking me out to supper
and soft-soaping me and telling me stories!
And finally, he told me why.
He needed a partner - me -
to help him steal a
fortune from my employers.
Harry Briscoe planned a bank robbery?
Well, he finally made me see
how easy it would be for me to do it.
So, I did it.
I stole $30,000.
But by that time, I began to realize
what a terrible man he was.
So, I hid the money and ran away.
Why didn't you just give the money back?
Because I decided I wanted
the 30,000 for myself.
Now, is that truth enough for you?
There's only one thing I've been
trying to figure out all evening
I don't understand.
What?
How you could convince Sister Julia
that you're really a nun.
What's hard about that?
I was born a Catholic.
My parents came from Kilkenny.
My sister is a nun.
As a matter of fact, it was her
habit I took when I ran away.
Your sister's a nun?
And Harry managed
to convince you to steal $30,000?
He didn't meet much resistance.
The Cusacks have a lot of gettin' even to do.
Getting even?
It's an old saying of my father's.
For a lot of years all we
could do was get mad.
I don't understand.
That's because you're not Irish.
I am Irish!
Jones is Irish?
Well, my grandparents...
they came from Londonderry.
Londonderry!
That's Ulster!
What do you mean?
They came from Ireland.
They're from Ulster!
They're the Orangemen,
they ran so quick to drop the o's
and the mac's form their names
when they came to America - so
they'd be considered proper Englishman
It's not them that's meant when
they say, 'No Irish need apply'.
It's them that makes it
hardest on the Irish.
Do you know, either of you, what it's
like to be truly Irish in this country?
It means you stand quiet
and know your place.
When they tell you
your father died of the drink,
you don't tell them it was
from hunger or shame.
They take what you're given
even when it means watching your little
brother starve to death
when you're 15 years old.
That's why I grew up angry.
Yeah.
Maybe a little too angry though, Molly.
That's what my father used to say.
Even as he lays sick in
his last week he said:
'you're too angry, Molly.'
'There's an old saying in Kilkenny,' he says
'Don't get mad - get even.'
And that's what I did.
You're aren't sorry about it, are you?
I don't know.
I haven't had time to think about it.
Well, stealing money's more
than getting even, Molly,
it's getting in a mess of trouble, too.
What, my friend is saying is
that we found out that it didn't work
There are easier ways of getting even if
that's what you really want to do.
Molly, you know we're gonna have to
turn you in when we get to Kettledrum.
Why do you think I came back here?
I thought, of all the people in the world
I could trust it would be you two!
You're not law men, you're
not obligated to turn me in!
Yes, we are.
Everyone back there knows
that we brought you into town.
We can't afford to be connected with...
a bank thief.
Why not?
You didn't steal the money!
It's a long story, Molly.
But believe me, we gotta turn you in,
because we can't afford to
be connected in any way
or even suspected of being connected
in any way with a theft from a bank.
We're gonna have to turn you in.
I can't believe it!
You're absolutely spineless sponges!
You are real Orangemen...both of you!
His grandparents came from Londonderry.
What's your excuse?
Mine came from England.
Fellows, the money's hidden,
not too far from here.
I split it with you!
It's a real temptation.
You just can't afford that either.
Smith and Jones...
And you were saying how
you tried and it didn't work.
I think, I'm beginning to understand.
You're thieves yourselves!
And maybe ex-thieves, Molly.
Then again, maybe not.
Any case, we're gonna have to turn
you in to the first sheriff we come to.
Got no choice. Sorry.
How'd it be just my luck to fall in
with a couple of reformed thieves.
They're the worst kind.
You know I think she may be right.
Come one!
All of you up on your feet!
So, she was really telling the truth.
It was you after all, Harry.
You never did go back to the
Bannerman Detective Agency, did you?
Come on, let's get on with this!
Harry, you just could never
do anything right, could you?
Now, I did one thing right.
I figured you boys had
to be up to something...
I just couldn't get it out of my mind.
So, I decided to follow you.
And was I right?
We're wasting time!
Are you gonna tie them up or do I shoot him?
No!
Here Molly, tie 'em up.
Tie them up?
I'm the one that's tied up.
You do it.
If one of them moves I'll
be happy to blow his head off
Hands around your back.
He's another mistake, Harry.
Why are you doing this, Harry?
Get my money back.
Harry, she left your money
back in Independence.
You said the money was right here!
It's here somewhere.
They got it always somewhere.
If she's got it on her I'll find it.
Here, hold this.
Keep away from me!
Now, come on!
Now, take it easy, Sam.
Harry!
Here is some place.
It ain't gonna work, Harry.
It's working just fine.
Now Molly, if you hadn't double-crossed me
everything had worked out
just the way I had it planned.
What about him?
Was he part of your plan?
Well, I figured I might need
a little help against you two.
Figuring is not one of your
strong points, Harry.
We just couldn't leave 'em
here like this, huh?
That's right.
We're doing it my way.
It'll take them at least an hour to
get untied from those thongs.
Then we'll be long gone.
Thanks, boys and so long.
And...thank you...Sister.
Another mistake.
What's that?
Harry was wrong with the
thongs for about 40 minutes.
You're not gonna leave me like this.
Now, come on, Jones.
You've got to untie me!
You can't leave me!
It's Smith, sweetheart!
Keep an eye on her.
She might be the only ticket out of this mess.
I will!
Come on, fellas!
Untie me!
Oh, please untie me, fellas.
I think it's coming from over
there somewhere, don't you?
It's not only coming from over there,
I think I know what it is.
Help!
Who is it?
Am I...am I glad to see you, fellas!
Really, Harry?
I don't know whether
you have reason to be.
Come on, cut me loose.
You'll never believe what
that scoundrel did to me.
Try us.
Well, I offered him his full 25%
just like I promised
and didn't he hit me over the
head and take all of it?
Harry, can't you do anything right?
Did you get his name, Harry?
Sam, that's all.
But I know where he went.
He tried to fool me by heading south.
Then I heard him double back
west over that ridge.
Let's go!
Hey, what about me?
Don't worry Harry we'll be back for you.
You can't just leave me here!
Cut me loose!
I got terrible claustrophobia!
Boys!
Boys!
He's in there.
How can you be so sure he's in there, huh?
'Cause he's smart.
He knows he can't get to
the border on a dead horse.
He'll just lay low
let the horse rest up and feed him
and then he'll make his break.
Heyes,
something's wrong with your logic.
He's in there, we're gonna catch him.
He's smart?
Shut up!
All right now, Sam, we know you're in there.
Come out with your hands up
and we'll hold our fire.
Maybe he isn't so smart.
What happened to him, Heyes?
I don't know.
I didn't hit him.
How is he?
Maybe he broke his neck
when he hit the ground.
He's dead...
Oh, I thought you boys
would never get here.
The sun is killing me!
Fellas, I've been doing some deep thinking.
Oh, don't! Harry, you'll just
get yourself in more trouble.
Oh, no, I'm serious.
I discovered something.
There's one thing I'm not
and never could be.
And that's a crook.
Harry, you're off to a good start.
A detective, yes.
A crook, no.
Like a lot of people, you're
finding out a little late, Harry.
With a small favor from you two,
I can make amends.
Small favor?
Would be no skin off your nose and
it'll be a truly noble gesture.
Harry, you know we never
take a chance on anything noble.
But it'd be my salvation.
So it's $30,000.
Again.
Again.
Again.
Yeah, come on hit me.
Me again.
Seventeen. Dealer stands.
Sixteen, you win.
Sixteen!?
Can I talk to you a minute, boys?
In private.
As long as I got my hands on the money
you can talk as long as you want.
I think you boys ought to tell me
honestly what you mean to do.
It's very simple, Harry.
We're gonna turn you and Molly in.
Boys, you can't do that!
I'm one of the few people who know you're...
Kid Curry and Hannibal Heyes.
What makes you think you can
turn me over to some sheriff?
We can't.
We know that.
No, Jim, over there
he's not wanted for anything.
He can turn you in to the sheriff.
He can even collect the
reward if there is any.
But there isn't one.
Boys, you have a glorious opportunity,
because I've really reformed.
I truly understand, now.
I could never make it as a crook.
But if - if I could return
that money, my record's clean.
I never really didn't much
of anything anyway -
except take money from a girl who stole it.
Sorry, Harry, it's too complicated.
You're forgetting the matter
of one Molly Cusack.
Let her go.
Truly a noble act.
Two of them.
Uh-huh. Then we'd be left
holding the noble bag.
No, Harry, it's out of the question.
Boys...
didn't somebody help you once?
Did you ever think how good it would be
to have a really grateful friend
in the Bannerman organization?
Hey, stop! Stop!
Jim, I told you to watch her!
I got into nodding and...
and next thing I know, she's on
one of the animals and took off.
I could've shot her off that horse, but
I can't shoot no woman.
Now, it sure eliminates one of
your problems, huh, boys?
Well, I still say you boys should let me
return that money
personally to Mr. Bannerman.
It'd mean a lot more to him.
And a lot more to me if I see
you turn it in to the sheriff
You can take it over and deposit it,
see that it's transferred.
Now, boys, I know that money
you got for delivering those cattle
is burning a hole in your pockets.
Come on over, have a beer,
I'll take care of this.
Our way, Harry.
Your way is my way.
Just wanted you to know
my heart's in the right place.
You know, I just had a terrible thought.
It could be in there with that
sheriff right now, saying
'Sheriff, I'm Harry Briscoe of the
Bannerman Detective Agency.
I got Hannibal Heyes and Kid Curry
right outside the office
and I'm turning them in for the reward.'
I know. I know.
But I don't think it's
gonna happen that way.
I think Harry's telling the truth -
otherwise I wouldn't be standing here.
Sheriff, one thing they learn fast.
You don't push around
anybody named Harry Briscoe,
Bannerman men.
We have all the authority.
We do what's the right thing, you know?
Or he could have said
'Sheriff, I got $30,000 in my saddlebag
I'd like your protection to go
over the bank and deposit it.'
I know.
I thought of that, too.
You trust him.
I do.
I do. I...
I think that...
Well, I think Harry's seen his
shortcomings and faced up to 'em.
Sheriff, much obliged.
Oh Harry, don't keep us in suspense.
What did you really tell him?
You'll see?
And now to something
that's really important.
'Dear Mr. Bannerman:
Have just
recovered $30,000 for your client,
Farmers Bank of Independence.
Deposited same in Kettledrum Bank
for transfer by authority of local sheriff.
Suggest you reconsider
my application for re-admission.
Sincerely, Harry Briscoe.
Or 'Kindest regards.'?
Well, Harry, sure we're right.
Bannerman was very, very grateful.
As I am to you, boys.
Never fear.
And you're sure you're
going straight now, Harry?
Do you think I could ever
do anything crooked again?
I'll be at the saloon.
Thank you. Goodbye!
Thank you.
Sister Julia!
Why, Joshua! Thaddeus!
What a pleasant surprise.
Sister!
What are you doing here?
Well, we delivered our cattle this morning.
And we thought we'd come into town
and try to sell the wagon.
It's nice to see you.
Oh, it's wonderful to see you, Sister.
You know, we never did find Sister Isabel.
It's one of the great mysteries of my life.
Well...I'll tell you, Sister...
it's not gonna be a
mystery any longer 'cause,
we're gonna tell you what happened.
She was an imposter.
She stole some money and she was on the run.
She had some kind of idea that
the world had mistreated her
and she was, in her words,
trying to get even.
You know, I got to know
Sister Isabel rather well,
and I find that very difficult to believe.
But...if you boys say it's true, I...
I must believe it.
Sister, we haven't sold our chuckwagon yet.
So, if you'll let us,
we'd love to give you a ride on
to the convent...free of charge.
To tell the truth, I knew I had
that ride the moment I saw you.
Hold it, boys.
Come on.
Here you are, Sister.
Safe and sound.
Thank you, boys, for all your help.
You'll be in my prayers.
Thank you, Sister.
Bye-bye, Sister.
Good-bye.
You look surprised.
You shouldn't be.
Giddy-up, here.
Oh, thank you.
Sister Julia!
Why, Joshua! Thaddeus!
What a pleasant surprise.
Sister!
What are you doing here?
Now, we delivered our cattle this morning.
And we thought we'd come into town
and try to sell the wagon.
It's nice to see you.
Oh, it's wonderful to see you, Sister.
You know, we never did find Sister Isabel.
It's one of the great mysteries of my life.
Hannibal Heyes and Kid Curry
The two most successful outlaws
in the history of the West
and in all the trains and banks
they robbed they never shot anyone.
This made our two latter-day
Robin Hoods very popular
with everyone
but the railroads and the banks.
There's one thing
we gotta get, Heyes.
What's that?
Out of this business.
The governor can't come flat out
and give you amnesty now
first you gotta prove you deserve it.
So, all we've got to do is
just stay out of trouble
until the governor figures
we deserve amnesty?
But in the meantime
we'll still be wanted?
Well, that's true
until then only you me and
the governor will know about it.
It'll be our secret.
That's a good deal?
I sure wish the governor let
a few more people in our secret.
Hey, Smith!
Come on, pull!
Oh, come on, horses.
Come on!
Won't work.
Axle's broken.
Hey, Mr. Smith!
Mr. Smith, come here!
The new driver said, you gonna take
'em to Pearlman to catch the stage.
That's right.
First thing in the morning.
Well, you better leave me here,
'cause I don't wanna get these
animals any closer to town.
Sister...
hold it up right here.
Guess, this is as good place
as any to make camp.
I take it, this is where we're
going to spend the night.
Yep.
By any chance are you gentlemen Catholics?
No, Kansans, ma'am.
Kansans?
What my friend meant is we're from Kansas.
And not too many Catholics in Kansas.
You do go to church regularly?
I mean to your own church.
Oh...no...I..
wouldn't call us...regulars...
...move around a lot.
Do you go to church?
We did...yeah...
yeah...every Sunday back at the home.
The home?
Yeah, the home...for orphans.
Yeah, we...we both lost our
folks in the border war wars.
About the only place for orphans
back in those days was the
Valparaiso school for waywards.
It's easy to see they did a fine job.
Oh...well...thank you, ma'am...
They must be very proud.
Well, not real proud, no, ma'am.
You see, we ran away when we were 15.
I guess, you might say that we're
self-made...kind of.
Well, if either of you would care to join us
in the fellowship of evening prayer
please - don't hesitate.
Thank you, ma'am.
Uhm, Sister...
we have to look after the stock
...and build a fire
and make camp...you understand?
Not really.
Sister Isabel.
I swear, if you talked to her much longer
you'd've told her about
the prices on our heads.
Is that our stage?
No, Sister. It's eastbound...
the stage to Kettledrum
comes in that direction.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
Howdy!
Only grain and water to these boys, okay?
Well, I think that's the man
you're looking for
to talk about these horses with.
I hope you and Sister Isabel
have a good trip, ma'am.
Well, thank you both and...
and bless you.
Thank you.
Goodbye.
Goodbye, Sister.
Bye-bye, Sister.
The size of that pot...
Heyes, you supposed it I yell fire
a couple of seats would
open up in that game?
It wouldn't work.
They'd just take the cards with 'em.
Anybody here named Smith or Jones?
Anybody here named Smith or Jones?
What's matter?
I don't know what has happened.
I left Sister Isabel for a few
minutes to sell the horses,
and when I came out she was gone...vanished.
I looked up and down the street.
Something must have happened!
She couldn't have gone far, ma'am.
Don't worry, Sister. We'll find her.
Somebody had to see her.
A matter of fact it's,
pretty hard to lose a nun in a town like this.
Yes.
Excuse me...
you didn't see a nun go by...
10-15 minutes ago.
About this tall, young?
Did you see a nun go by dressed like this?
Young, about this tall?
Howdy, Mister.
you would have happened to see a nun go by
in the last 10 or 15 minutes.
Young, about this tall?
Yep.
You did?
Yep.
Like I told the other fella that asked,
she was headed down that way
about 20 minutes ago.
Uh, are you sure?
Mister, I can tell black horses from white
horses, and I can sure tell a nun from...
No, no,
I mean about the other fella asking.
He asked if you'd seen a nun?
Sure he did,
and he described her better than you did.
Did you tell anybody else
that she's missing?
Why, I never said a word to anyone.
What this man looked like?
Oh, snake face, eyes set too close...
citified clothes...
and he walked like he just won a raffle.
It's ring a bell?
No, but thanks just the same.
Appreciated.
Gentlemen, I think the time has
come for me to go to the sheriff.
You want to come with me?
You go ahead.
We'll just keep looking.
Ma'am.
You know, Kid, that description sounds
like it ought to mean something to us.
I should have known!
Hey, you should come and take a look.
They taking the town apart, looking for one
of those nuns we saw when we came in.
Shut your mouth and close the door.
This is her. Here's the nun.
Harry Briscoe!
How are you, Harry?
I don't get it!
What's the matter? I mean, she's in trouble
and we're trying to help her. That's all.
What kind of trouble?
Man trouble, honey - man trouble.
What other kind is there?
Hey.
Hi, Harry!
What are you boys doing in Pearlman?
What are you doing in Pearlman, Harry?
I'm proud to tell you - I'm working.
At what?
The Bannerman Detective Agency.
They welcomed me back with open arms.
Of course, they didn't know about my...
little moment of weakness.
Hadn't been for you two boys,
I don't think I'd had
the strength to overcome it.
You don't know how grateful I am.
I was desperate!
Forget it sweetie, we've all been there.
Of course, this disguise,
I mean, this really beats everything.
I sure wish, I had something like this
when I was trying to shake Charlie.
Let me take that.
You've done so much already.
Oh listen, I'm not through yet.
Come on, I'll buy you a drink.
You didn't tell us what you're doing here.
Now, boys, you know I can't do that.
A Bannerman man's job is confidential,
strictly confidential.
All right, Harry then we'll tell
you what your job is.
You're looking for a nun,
her name is Sister Isabel,
she's in her early 20s,
kind of pretty, about so tall.
How did you know that!?
'Cause we brought her into town.
Because she's turned up missing.
And because a fella gave us your
description as the one looking for her.
When I'm finished with you,
your own mother isn't gonna recognize you.
Now I'll give you boye some
information you don't have.
Now that girl's name is not Isabel,
it's Molly. Molly Cusack.
And she's not a nun, she's a typewriter.
A typewriter?
That's right.
She works one of those typewriting machines
for a bank in Independence, Missouri.
Would you believe she
robbed that bank of $30,000?
Remember, when you go downstairs
there is nothing to be afraid of.
I mean, we are West of the Mississippi,
where a woman, no matter who she is,
or how she makes her living
is still treated like queen.
Well, I just hope,
I can do what's...necessary.
Harry, how can you expect us
to believe that?
Well, that's exactly what she's done.
Got out of town by
dressing up in a nun's outfit.
Headed West.
I got worried she'd joined up
with another sister east of Ironstone
All right.
The girls steal some money
and puts on a nun's outfit.
How do you know, that this girl is the one?
Well, I don't know for sure...
I only saw her from a distance.
My hotel window over there.
I got down here, she saw me
and ran into the store.
Harry, you're getting in
deeper every minute.
What do you mean?
Now, you think about it, Harry -
a smart detective like you:
The answer will come to you.
Well, it isn't!
What you think, Harry?
Now, how did she know you?
How would she have any reason to run
unless she recognized you.
And how could she do that?
Well, you see boys I almost
caught up with her
outside Lawrence, Kansas before
she joined up with the other lady nun.
My horse went lame
or I had caught her.
I guess, that's when she saw me.
Harry, don't you ever do
anything right, not even lying?
Mr. Jones!
I'm so glad you didn't leave.
I thought maybe you'd like to be deputized.
The sheriff's enlisting everybody.
The sheriff?
What's the sheriff doing?
Dep...Deputize?
No, thank you, ma'am.
You forget, we still have that herd to move.
And I'm sure, they can find
Sister Isabel without our help, ma'am.
Oh, I hope you're right.
I'm so worried!
What do you think could have happened?
I can answer that one for you, Sister.
Oh, that's another woman, Harry.
Excuse us, Sister.
We'd like to talk with our friend here.
Now, wait a minute!
There's no reason why I
shouldn't inform the good sister
as to the true nature of the bad sister.
Except that the good sister
happens to be a friend of ours
and we're not gonna let you hurt her
with a story that may not be true.
Well, she shouldn't brought in the sheriff!
I don't need the sheriff.
Now, back at the agency
this will be a big feather in my
cap if I can solve it by myself.
Well, that's your problem!
Oh, there's nothing to it, honey.
I mean, they're probably
gonna offer you a drink.
Now, the thing to do is accept it. I mean,
you don't have to drink it, but accept it.
Anyway, they're gonna treat you real fine.
You're gonna let the sister
go to the convent in Santiago
without any word about the
Bannerman Detective Agency
...or the bank robbery.
Or any young girl posing as a nun.
Or you'll tangle with us!
All right, boys, all right.
I guess I owe you that much.
Never let it be said that Harry Briscoe
wasn't concerned for the feelings of others.
Excuse me.
Hey, Madge!
Howdy!
Open that door, Madge!
What do you want?
Will you open the door?
No! Why?
I'm a deputy!
You're what?
Yeah!
We gotta come in and search the place.
Sister...
we've conversed with our
friend Mr. Briscoe and
he thinks you can go on
to the convent without worry.
Mr. Briscoe...?
Oh, yes Sister.
You see I'm Harry Briscoe.
I have reason to believe...
He's had a lot of experience
with these things.
How long have you known
Sister Isabel, ma'am?
She joined me when I bought that wagon. Why?
Well, just idle curiosity.
Well now, Madge can sure see
you ain't got no nuns around here.
We'll get you accommodations in the hotel.
The sheriff has very graciously
given me a cell.
But he said I can have as
many visitors as I want.
You will drop in, won't you?
I don't think so, ma'am.
Thaddeus means that after one hand
of poker we'll be heading back to camp.
I see.
Goodbye, Joshua.
Mr. Briscoe.
Thaddeus.
God go with you!
Thank you. Thank you, ma'am.
Thank you.
He won that pot with a pair of queens.
What do you suppose they do buy
those seats a month in advance?
They can't either be born into it.
Harry is back.
Harry, have a seat.
Don't you have to look for Sister Isabel.
No, no point in now.
The sheriff got so many men
running around out there,
they're stumbling all over themselves.
Hey honey.
You with the red hair.
Bring me a beer, will you?
They even got men riding
the range looking for.
They'll find her.
That's what worries me.
Now I mean, I could have found
her without all this help.
No doubt about it, Harry.
Don't know how she did it
but somehow she got out of town.
If she did, there's nothing but
miles of bad water and coyotes.
I got it!
I know where she is!
Didn't you boys tell me you
had a campsite a few miles out?
And you think she's out there?
Where you boys are concerned,
I believe nothing I don't see
and only half of what I do see.
Now, you mind if I take a look around?
Check out our camp, you're welcome to.
What are you up to now?
I'm just trying to keep you happy.
As a matter of fact, Harry,
I'll tell you what. We'll go with you,
if that's what'll make you happy.
Now, that sounds like the boys I know.
It sounds like two poker players
who can't stand watching bad
players losing to each other.
Hey, Jim.
About time you gettin' back.
What's the matter with him?
He's detective, Jim.
All detectives act that way.
Satisfied?
Yeah.
Yeah, I'm satisfied.
Just what are you two fellas up to anyway?
It's all cows out there
and no steer the bunch.
Every one of those little ladies has been
bred to a prized Brahma down in Arizona.
We're getting $400 just see
they get home safe.
If I hadn't seen that,
I wouldn't believe it.
Well, you've seen it. Now if you want
to join us for supper, you're welcome.
No thanks. I'll...
I'll pick up something back in town.
I'm...I'm real sorry I didn't trust
you boys the way I should have.
No, offense intended.
Sure, Harry.
Good luck.
Thanks sure good seeing you again.
Good to seeing you.
So long, Harry.
Harry Briscoe.
You make these beans?
I'll make. I make the best beans around.
Yeah?
You should taste your coffee.
It ain't bad, too.
Hey Mr. Smith!
Mr. Smith!
I've been hearing strange sounds
coming out this wagon all morning.
You better check the cargo.
All right.
Have I got a surprise for you!
Oh, no!
Shall we ask questions or are you
gonna tell us what's going on?
Well, I'll tell you.
I'm not really Sister Isabel.
Not even a nun.
My name's Molly Cusack.
How did you get into our camp?
Well, last night after
they gave up the search,
I slipped into the back of
a buckboard headed this way.
I jumped out about a mile
from your camp and sneaked in.
I better make camp here
when you stay here talking.
I know, my behavior may
seem...strange to you.
But if he knew the terrible
danger I'm in, you'd understand.
He's an awful man, really!
A drunken beast!
He beat me! That's why
I had to get away from him.
Oh, I never wanted to marry
him in the first place.
Wait a minute.
This man, is this the one we met in town?
The dark suit, his eyes a
little too close together?
That's right.
That's him.
And you were married to him?
What's his name?
He could be using any name.
In addition to what I've told
you, he's a terrible liar.
Otherwise I'd never married him.
His name?
Bodine, George Bodine.
He's a bookkeeper.
An ordinary bookkeeper.
Before we were married he told
me he was an investment banker.
How do you like that?
Molly, we have something to tell you.
Sit down.
Sit down a minute. Over there.
Now first of all -
the story's not bad.
It's not bad at all.
There's only one reason
why we don't believe it.
Why not? It's the truth.
Yeah, Molly.
We'd absolutely believe it
except for one thing.
Well, I don't care what that man told you.
He's the world's greatest liar.
He could fool anyone!
He has a lot of bad habits,
but...there's only one thing wrong.
We've known him a long, long time.
You have?
His name isn't George Bodine.
It's not?
It's Harry Briscoe.
And Harry is not the world's
greatest at anything.
Not even lying.
You want to know the truth?
The truth is you were a typewriter working
in a bank in Independence, Missouri,
and you stole $30,000.
And Harry is an agent for the
Bannerman Detective Agency,
and now he's looking for you.
Right?
Wrong!
Wrong?
Wrong!
I was a typewriter working in the bank.
And Harry Briscoe comes along
and starts taking me out to supper
and soft-soaping me and telling me stories!
And finally, he told me why.
He needed a partner - me -
to help him steal a
fortune from my employers.
Harry Briscoe planned a bank robbery?
Well, he finally made me see
how easy it would be for me to do it.
So, I did it.
I stole $30,000.
But by that time, I began to realize
what a terrible man he was.
So, I hid the money and ran away.
Why didn't you just give the money back?
Because I decided I wanted
the 30,000 for myself.
Now, is that truth enough for you?
There's only one thing I've been
trying to figure out all evening
I don't understand.
What?
How you could convince Sister Julia
that you're really a nun.
What's hard about that?
I was born a Catholic.
My parents came from Kilkenny.
My sister is a nun.
As a matter of fact, it was her
habit I took when I ran away.
Your sister's a nun?
And Harry managed
to convince you to steal $30,000?
He didn't meet much resistance.
The Cusacks have a lot of gettin' even to do.
Getting even?
It's an old saying of my father's.
For a lot of years all we
could do was get mad.
I don't understand.
That's because you're not Irish.
I am Irish!
Jones is Irish?
Well, my grandparents...
they came from Londonderry.
Londonderry!
That's Ulster!
What do you mean?
They came from Ireland.
They're from Ulster!
They're the Orangemen,
they ran so quick to drop the o's
and the mac's form their names
when they came to America - so
they'd be considered proper Englishman
It's not them that's meant when
they say, 'No Irish need apply'.
It's them that makes it
hardest on the Irish.
Do you know, either of you, what it's
like to be truly Irish in this country?
It means you stand quiet
and know your place.
When they tell you
your father died of the drink,
you don't tell them it was
from hunger or shame.
They take what you're given
even when it means watching your little
brother starve to death
when you're 15 years old.
That's why I grew up angry.
Yeah.
Maybe a little too angry though, Molly.
That's what my father used to say.
Even as he lays sick in
his last week he said:
'you're too angry, Molly.'
'There's an old saying in Kilkenny,' he says
'Don't get mad - get even.'
And that's what I did.
You're aren't sorry about it, are you?
I don't know.
I haven't had time to think about it.
Well, stealing money's more
than getting even, Molly,
it's getting in a mess of trouble, too.
What, my friend is saying is
that we found out that it didn't work
There are easier ways of getting even if
that's what you really want to do.
Molly, you know we're gonna have to
turn you in when we get to Kettledrum.
Why do you think I came back here?
I thought, of all the people in the world
I could trust it would be you two!
You're not law men, you're
not obligated to turn me in!
Yes, we are.
Everyone back there knows
that we brought you into town.
We can't afford to be connected with...
a bank thief.
Why not?
You didn't steal the money!
It's a long story, Molly.
But believe me, we gotta turn you in,
because we can't afford to
be connected in any way
or even suspected of being connected
in any way with a theft from a bank.
We're gonna have to turn you in.
I can't believe it!
You're absolutely spineless sponges!
You are real Orangemen...both of you!
His grandparents came from Londonderry.
What's your excuse?
Mine came from England.
Fellows, the money's hidden,
not too far from here.
I split it with you!
It's a real temptation.
You just can't afford that either.
Smith and Jones...
And you were saying how
you tried and it didn't work.
I think, I'm beginning to understand.
You're thieves yourselves!
And maybe ex-thieves, Molly.
Then again, maybe not.
Any case, we're gonna have to turn
you in to the first sheriff we come to.
Got no choice. Sorry.
How'd it be just my luck to fall in
with a couple of reformed thieves.
They're the worst kind.
You know I think she may be right.
Come one!
All of you up on your feet!
So, she was really telling the truth.
It was you after all, Harry.
You never did go back to the
Bannerman Detective Agency, did you?
Come on, let's get on with this!
Harry, you just could never
do anything right, could you?
Now, I did one thing right.
I figured you boys had
to be up to something...
I just couldn't get it out of my mind.
So, I decided to follow you.
And was I right?
We're wasting time!
Are you gonna tie them up or do I shoot him?
No!
Here Molly, tie 'em up.
Tie them up?
I'm the one that's tied up.
You do it.
If one of them moves I'll
be happy to blow his head off
Hands around your back.
He's another mistake, Harry.
Why are you doing this, Harry?
Get my money back.
Harry, she left your money
back in Independence.
You said the money was right here!
It's here somewhere.
They got it always somewhere.
If she's got it on her I'll find it.
Here, hold this.
Keep away from me!
Now, come on!
Now, take it easy, Sam.
Harry!
Here is some place.
It ain't gonna work, Harry.
It's working just fine.
Now Molly, if you hadn't double-crossed me
everything had worked out
just the way I had it planned.
What about him?
Was he part of your plan?
Well, I figured I might need
a little help against you two.
Figuring is not one of your
strong points, Harry.
We just couldn't leave 'em
here like this, huh?
That's right.
We're doing it my way.
It'll take them at least an hour to
get untied from those thongs.
Then we'll be long gone.
Thanks, boys and so long.
And...thank you...Sister.
Another mistake.
What's that?
Harry was wrong with the
thongs for about 40 minutes.
You're not gonna leave me like this.
Now, come on, Jones.
You've got to untie me!
You can't leave me!
It's Smith, sweetheart!
Keep an eye on her.
She might be the only ticket out of this mess.
I will!
Come on, fellas!
Untie me!
Oh, please untie me, fellas.
I think it's coming from over
there somewhere, don't you?
It's not only coming from over there,
I think I know what it is.
Help!
Who is it?
Am I...am I glad to see you, fellas!
Really, Harry?
I don't know whether
you have reason to be.
Come on, cut me loose.
You'll never believe what
that scoundrel did to me.
Try us.
Well, I offered him his full 25%
just like I promised
and didn't he hit me over the
head and take all of it?
Harry, can't you do anything right?
Did you get his name, Harry?
Sam, that's all.
But I know where he went.
He tried to fool me by heading south.
Then I heard him double back
west over that ridge.
Let's go!
Hey, what about me?
Don't worry Harry we'll be back for you.
You can't just leave me here!
Cut me loose!
I got terrible claustrophobia!
Boys!
Boys!
He's in there.
How can you be so sure he's in there, huh?
'Cause he's smart.
He knows he can't get to
the border on a dead horse.
He'll just lay low
let the horse rest up and feed him
and then he'll make his break.
Heyes,
something's wrong with your logic.
He's in there, we're gonna catch him.
He's smart?
Shut up!
All right now, Sam, we know you're in there.
Come out with your hands up
and we'll hold our fire.
Maybe he isn't so smart.
What happened to him, Heyes?
I don't know.
I didn't hit him.
How is he?
Maybe he broke his neck
when he hit the ground.
He's dead...
Oh, I thought you boys
would never get here.
The sun is killing me!
Fellas, I've been doing some deep thinking.
Oh, don't! Harry, you'll just
get yourself in more trouble.
Oh, no, I'm serious.
I discovered something.
There's one thing I'm not
and never could be.
And that's a crook.
Harry, you're off to a good start.
A detective, yes.
A crook, no.
Like a lot of people, you're
finding out a little late, Harry.
With a small favor from you two,
I can make amends.
Small favor?
Would be no skin off your nose and
it'll be a truly noble gesture.
Harry, you know we never
take a chance on anything noble.
But it'd be my salvation.
So it's $30,000.
Again.
Again.
Again.
Yeah, come on hit me.
Me again.
Seventeen. Dealer stands.
Sixteen, you win.
Sixteen!?
Can I talk to you a minute, boys?
In private.
As long as I got my hands on the money
you can talk as long as you want.
I think you boys ought to tell me
honestly what you mean to do.
It's very simple, Harry.
We're gonna turn you and Molly in.
Boys, you can't do that!
I'm one of the few people who know you're...
Kid Curry and Hannibal Heyes.
What makes you think you can
turn me over to some sheriff?
We can't.
We know that.
No, Jim, over there
he's not wanted for anything.
He can turn you in to the sheriff.
He can even collect the
reward if there is any.
But there isn't one.
Boys, you have a glorious opportunity,
because I've really reformed.
I truly understand, now.
I could never make it as a crook.
But if - if I could return
that money, my record's clean.
I never really didn't much
of anything anyway -
except take money from a girl who stole it.
Sorry, Harry, it's too complicated.
You're forgetting the matter
of one Molly Cusack.
Let her go.
Truly a noble act.
Two of them.
Uh-huh. Then we'd be left
holding the noble bag.
No, Harry, it's out of the question.
Boys...
didn't somebody help you once?
Did you ever think how good it would be
to have a really grateful friend
in the Bannerman organization?
Hey, stop! Stop!
Jim, I told you to watch her!
I got into nodding and...
and next thing I know, she's on
one of the animals and took off.
I could've shot her off that horse, but
I can't shoot no woman.
Now, it sure eliminates one of
your problems, huh, boys?
Well, I still say you boys should let me
return that money
personally to Mr. Bannerman.
It'd mean a lot more to him.
And a lot more to me if I see
you turn it in to the sheriff
You can take it over and deposit it,
see that it's transferred.
Now, boys, I know that money
you got for delivering those cattle
is burning a hole in your pockets.
Come on over, have a beer,
I'll take care of this.
Our way, Harry.
Your way is my way.
Just wanted you to know
my heart's in the right place.
You know, I just had a terrible thought.
It could be in there with that
sheriff right now, saying
'Sheriff, I'm Harry Briscoe of the
Bannerman Detective Agency.
I got Hannibal Heyes and Kid Curry
right outside the office
and I'm turning them in for the reward.'
I know. I know.
But I don't think it's
gonna happen that way.
I think Harry's telling the truth -
otherwise I wouldn't be standing here.
Sheriff, one thing they learn fast.
You don't push around
anybody named Harry Briscoe,
Bannerman men.
We have all the authority.
We do what's the right thing, you know?
Or he could have said
'Sheriff, I got $30,000 in my saddlebag
I'd like your protection to go
over the bank and deposit it.'
I know.
I thought of that, too.
You trust him.
I do.
I do. I...
I think that...
Well, I think Harry's seen his
shortcomings and faced up to 'em.
Sheriff, much obliged.
Oh Harry, don't keep us in suspense.
What did you really tell him?
You'll see?
And now to something
that's really important.
'Dear Mr. Bannerman:
Have just
recovered $30,000 for your client,
Farmers Bank of Independence.
Deposited same in Kettledrum Bank
for transfer by authority of local sheriff.
Suggest you reconsider
my application for re-admission.
Sincerely, Harry Briscoe.
Or 'Kindest regards.'?
Well, Harry, sure we're right.
Bannerman was very, very grateful.
As I am to you, boys.
Never fear.
And you're sure you're
going straight now, Harry?
Do you think I could ever
do anything crooked again?
I'll be at the saloon.
Thank you. Goodbye!
Thank you.
Sister Julia!
Why, Joshua! Thaddeus!
What a pleasant surprise.
Sister!
What are you doing here?
Well, we delivered our cattle this morning.
And we thought we'd come into town
and try to sell the wagon.
It's nice to see you.
Oh, it's wonderful to see you, Sister.
You know, we never did find Sister Isabel.
It's one of the great mysteries of my life.
Well...I'll tell you, Sister...
it's not gonna be a
mystery any longer 'cause,
we're gonna tell you what happened.
She was an imposter.
She stole some money and she was on the run.
She had some kind of idea that
the world had mistreated her
and she was, in her words,
trying to get even.
You know, I got to know
Sister Isabel rather well,
and I find that very difficult to believe.
But...if you boys say it's true, I...
I must believe it.
Sister, we haven't sold our chuckwagon yet.
So, if you'll let us,
we'd love to give you a ride on
to the convent...free of charge.
To tell the truth, I knew I had
that ride the moment I saw you.
Hold it, boys.
Come on.
Here you are, Sister.
Safe and sound.
Thank you, boys, for all your help.
You'll be in my prayers.
Thank you, Sister.
Bye-bye, Sister.
Good-bye.
You look surprised.
You shouldn't be.
Giddy-up, here.