Alias Smith and Jones (1971–1973): Season 2, Episode 7 - Six Strangers at Apache Springs - full transcript

Do you think, this is how Barney died?

Nah, he couldn't have been his stupid.

Heyes, we should've known better.

We did know better.

What do you know about Indians?

Only what I heard when I was a kid.

That won't make you feel any better.

I heard those same stories.

You think they're true?
I hope not.

We'll just have to talk our way out.

They speak two languages,
neither of which are English.



What? Apache and what else?

Spanish, I think.

Heyes, I don't have a gun and in
Spanish your tongue isn't silver.

I think we...

Hannibal Heyes and Kid Curry

The two most successful outlaws
in the history of the West

and in all the trains and banks
they robbed they never shot anyone.

This made our two latter-day
Robin Hoods very popular

with everyone
but the railroads and the banks.

There's one thing
we gotta get, Heyes.

What's that?

Out of this business.

The governor can't come flat out
and give you amnesty now

first you gotta prove you deserve it.



So, all we've got to do is
just stay out of trouble

until the governor figures
we deserve amnesty?

But in the meantime
we'll still be wanted?

Well, that's true

until then only you me and
the governor will know about it.

It'll be our secret.

That's a good deal?

I sure wish the governor let
a few more people in our secret.

What you say this place is called?

Apache Springs.

Heyes, I think we found a home -

quiet, peaceful...
Yeah, and no sheriff's office.

Gentlemen, may I help you?

We take a room and a bath, in that order.

And someone to look after our horses, please.

Everything will be taken care of.
Now, if you'll kindly sign the register.

No poker?

Saturday night...
if you're still around.

Cowhand's drinking.
All poker you want.

We'll be around.

Just to pass the time...

You'd wait 6 days for just some
small-time amateur poker?

That's the kind we like best.

Excuse me,

I hope you won't see that I'm forward,

but two fine young good-looking
men always aroused my curiosity.

You mind, if I ask what you
two do for a living?

As little as possible, ma'am.

Oh, all right. If you -
if you don't want to tell me.

Oh, we do almost anything,
ma'am. We're not ashamed.

Long as it's not too hard on the back.

Well, at least you're honest.

When you boys get settled

maybe we could have a little talk.

All right.
Why not?

Honest Smithers, I think I've
found just what I'm looking for.

Young, healthy, footloose...

and not too smart.

Mrs. Fielding and Mr. Fielding?

Welcome to you.

I got your letter.
Everything is ready.

I do hope you had a pleasant journey.

We enjoyed it enormously, thank you.

A look at the real West.

Tell me Mr. Smithers, where
does all this dust come from?

Do you grow it?

Well, I fixed you folks up for the
best suite I've got in the hotel.

It's waiting for you now.

What do you do about the heat?
Is there a way to turn it off?

Hey! Come on over!

You two boys doing anything right now?

Well until Saturday night we're
available for anything reasonable.

Do you consider 'work' reasonable?

What kind?

Well, just picking up a few things
and delivering them back here to me.

Delivering what?

Money...
the purest kind of money...

gold dust!

It sounds very reasonable, ma'am.

Good. Good.
Join me...

for a couple of beers, huh?

The name is Caroline, or Mrs. Rangeley.
Take your pick.

Only just don't go calling me Ma or
anything else like that. You understand?

Yes, ma'am.

Oh well, now we were talking about money.

Don't rush me!

When you hear what's involved,
you may not want the job.

That's possible.

What do you mean, that's possible?
What kind of attitude is that?

Well...no. I...I just...

Never mind!

I know how hard it is...

to find someone who's not
looking for something for nothing!

Not to mention someone who's
not scared of his own shadow!

What's it to be scared of, ma'am?

Just a few scrawny Indians.

Me and Barney -

we come here 20 years ago,
when things was really pure.

Barney's my husband,

God rest his soul.

We came here...

when people were kind to each other,
when you could't trust 'em.

Not like now, you know what I mean?

Yes, ma'am.

I'll let you get intimate.
Call me Caroline.

What about the gold, Caroline?

20 years ago they had a gold
strike in the hills back of us here.

They all rode out when
they got down to the tailings.

Well, me and Barney
we went up there two years ago.

The hills was empty. No one around.

We cleaned up about $12,000
in dust in twelve different spots.

We buried the dust just where
we found it, and we moved on.

Then what?

Indians, that's what!

50 are 60 Chiricahua
they broke out of their reservation

and they rode off into the hills.

All of a sudden Barney and me
we was being shot at!

What happened to Barney?

Barney was shot up coming out.
By the Chiricahuas.

What about the gold?

At least give Barney a minute of respect
before you go asking about the gold.

What about the gold?

The dust is there, where we buried it.

Well?
Well, what?

Are you gonna do it?

I want you two boys to go up there

dig up me and Barney's dust
and bring it back to me here.

I'll give you... I'll give you...
20% - free and clear.

20%?

How many Indians did you say was up there?

Well, rumor says just
50 or 60 scrawny Chiricahua.

They killed your husband and
you want us to go up there for 20%

Well, it took me and Barney
two years to get that gold

It'll only take you two days.

I'll tell you what,
Caroline we'll think it over...

...if we split it three ways.

Three ways?

That sounds reasonable to me.

Over my dead body!

You ought to be ashamed of yourselves,

taking advantage of a helpless woman.

Heyes...

I wish you were that helpless.

I drink to that!

Could you use some help, ma'am?

Thank you.

Ain't much but it's the only hotel in town.

No, thank you ma'am.
It's my pleasure.

Thank you.

Oh, yes. May I help you?

I need a room, please.

Well, we've got a hotel full of them.

But there's a problem. A small one.

I don't have any money.

Well, that is not a small problem.

I used what I had for a stagecoach
ticket it got me this far.

Well, but your problem seems
to be getting larger.

If you can trust me until next Sunday.

I can pay you then.

I'm a minister of the gospel, an evangelist.

I'll hold a service and
collect a little money.

Apache Springs was once a fair-sized town
but they were still mining the hills then.

Nowadays on Sundays, the
population is only about 60 people

and 30 of those people are cowboys
from neighboring ranches.

All of them with hangovers.

Now not one of them will give you one cent

leave alone and listen
to anything you have to say.

This isn't the town to
pick up money that way.

I'll trust in the Lord.

Oh - may I ask you your name?

I'm called Sister Grace.

Since I seem to have more
guests than usual now,

if you want to take my
place as cook the job is yours.

How much does it pay?
Just room and board?

Well, certainly not. It pays a $8 a week.

How much is the room?
$4 a week.

And the food?
$4 a week.

I'll take it.

All right sonny, make it
50/50, and you got a deal.

Deal!

You don't mind if I don't get up
'n shake with you, do you?

Don't worry, dearie.

They can pin you to a Christmas
tree, and I wouldn't look.

Did you hear that Barney?!

There's an innocent look to you boys
that frightens the wits out of me.

There's a thing called faith, Caroline.

You either have it or you don't.

Oh, come on!
Join us!

I could show you some stimulating company.

Well, thank you.

How do you do?

My name is Joshua Smith.

I'm Edward Fielding
This is my wife, Lucy.

How do you do?

This is Mrs. Caroline Rangeley.
How do you do?

I'm Thaddeus Jones.

Smith and Jones?
I think our deal's off!

What brings you to
Apache Springs, Mr. Fielding?

I'm here representing the
Bureau of Indian Affairs.

What are you gonna do about the land-grabbing,

and bloodthirsty Chiricahuas?

Well, I'm not sure yet. I'll...

go into the hills and talk to them first.

Well, if you got an army with you?

My husband doesn't need an army.

He feels he can defend himself with
well-chosen rhetoric and good intentions.

Mr. Fielding,

why did they leave the
reservation in the first place?

The Indian agent was selling over
half the meat consigned to the Indians.

I asked Washington to replace him.
And there are other things.

The land is not, what the Indians
were told it would be.

That's a long list.

But that's why I'm here.
To negotiate,

try and get the Chiricahuas into
a more reasonable mood.

How unreasonable are they?

Very unreasonable from
the reports we've had.

Are you interested for any special reason?

We're going up there, but...

I don't think we'll be
where the Indians are.

How can you be sure?

We're gonna make it a point, not to.

How about it, Caroline?

You sending this right smack
in the middle of an Indian camp.

Well, the Indians are settled in
the eastern part of the mountains.

Barney and I we worked in
the western part, too.

You could start there.

What is there to do in Apache Springs?

What would you like to do?

Well, I don't know Mr. Smith.
This is my first trip to the West.

I think, what I would like to do is leave.

Oh ma'am, this is a lively
little town on Saturday nights.

So, they tell me.

Really? What happens?

Cowboys come in from all the ranches

drink and fight and gamble and

they make lots of noise
and they have a good time.

Well, it does sound 'lively' doesn't it?

A scissors, Smithers.

Here. You'll find it nice and clear.

There's only 2 sites on this map.
I thought you said there were 12.

There are 6 Maps, 2 sites to each map.

You only get one at a time, because
I don't trust you with any more.

Caroline, you've got to have a little faith!

It isn't faith that's needed here.
It's good sense!

If I would to give you a
map of all the caches,

what guarantee would I have,
that you two would ever come back?

You have our word.

You keep your word.

Mr Fielding it seems a little late to ask,

but are you sure you want
to go through with this?

You know that Chiricahuas fought
the Mexicans and us at the same time.

They never got beat.

The only reason they
surrendered to General Miles

was because they ran
out of food and bullets.

Now, do you think what
you're doing is the answer?

I mean talking to them.

From what you've just said, talking
would seem to be the only answer.

Well, I think this is where
we part company Mr. Fielding.

Much obliged to both of you.

Good luck.
Good luck.

Kid, in the words of Brigham Young
'this is the place'.

4 paces to the rock.
1, 2, 3, 4.

Right 'n left. Could be.

10 paces
2, 3, 4, 5,

6, 7, 8, 9, 10.

Right there.

It's the place!

Rock.

Yup, this is the place.

Yeah...

Look.

I can remember when
getting this stuff was hard work!

Heyes...

I have a feeling it still is.

How about pretending we just didn't see 'em?

And go after the second cash?

It's worth the try.

Could be...

Not exactly alone out here, are we?

No...

What do you think?

Well, I think any sensible man would
take what he's got and move out.

That's right.
And fast.

And right again.

How far are we from the other spot?

I figure less than a mile.

Well, no one's ever accused us of
being too sensible, now have they?

No...

Over that way.

Heyes, there's a lesser of two evils.

You're right, Kid. Let's take the
other evil and run for it.

Come on!

Come on, move!

Kid, maybe if we let her go,
they'll settle for her instead of us.

All right. I'm willing to try anything.

Let go!
Let her loose!

Are you all right?

A little shaken.

They were on me before
I knew what was happening.

Suddenly they started to shoot at me and

I got out as quickly as I could.

You did just fine.

That's very kind of you, Mr. Jones

but I didn't do fine at all,
In fact, I did quite poorly.

I didn't come out here to run
away from the Indians.

I came out here to...talk with them.

How do you talk to someone
who's shooting at you, Mr. Fielding?

Put your hands up and you stand still,

and you hope they realize
what you mean by that.

That's what I should have done.

That's what I'll do next time.

There's gonna be a next time?

Well, I hope so.

I'll give you more reliable
answer when I stop shaking!

Mrs. Fielding! They're here!

Well, did you get it?
We got it, Caroline.

Put them horses up and meet me at the store.

What happened?

Nothing, Lucy.
I'll have to try again.

Let me take my horse to the stable

then I'll tell you all about it.

It's about as even as you're gonna get it.

Thank you, Mr. Evans.

Uh, Caroline!
Aren't you forgetting something?

There's something sinful about
turning money over like this.

Sinful? What are you talking about?
We got shot at out there.

You heard of a harder way to earn money?

There ain't a mark on you!
But all right, all right, take it!

When you're going out again?

Going out again?

Caroline, did you hear him?
We got shot at!

We had to leave our mule and equipment
out there that's $100 right there.

You should be splitting that costs.

That wasn't the deal!

That's why we ain't asking
'cause that wasn't part of the deal.

What do you loading me
down with incidentals for?

Just tell me, when you're going out again.

Well, we were thinking about
quitting while we're ahead.

Quittin'!?

Every winner I've known
has always lived by that rule.

Quittin'!

Okay. Well, give us a day or
two to get over the scare.

Maybe we'll reconsider.

We have to wait for new equipment anyway.
You're insensible.

While we're waitin', we'll be considering.
That's right.

Caroline, be reasonable now.
Don't worry about it.

A little deposit for the safe, Smithers.

Oh, there must be a couple
of thousand dollars here.

I'll hold on to mine for a little.

We'll have the key to that
safe box, Mr. Smithers.

People shouldn't eat alone.
It's uncivilized.

Mind, if I join you?

You've already eaten?

Well, let's just say that...

we sat down at the same time but I
eat a little faster than you, that's all.

It's unusual for a woman of your age
to be all alone in this part of the country.

I suppose, it is.

How did it happen?

Wouldn't be proper for me to
burden you with my problems.

No, no. Problems in my specialty.

I think, wouldn't be complete 'till
I've had one or two thrown at me.

I can't go sleep without 'em.

So, you'd be doing me a favor.

I was doing work in a mission
for unfortunate men in Boston.

And one day a gentleman heard me
delivering a few words of gospel hope.

Before I knew what was happening,
he set up a program for me

to bring people here
in the West back to Jesus.

Got as far west as Tucson.

I found out, that while I was
preaching the word of Jesus,

his men were doing terrible
things outside the tent.

Like games with little shells,
and other evil things.

While I was pouring out my
heart to people on the inside,

he was stealing from them on the outside.

So, I walked out.
Now I'm on my way home.

Did you get out with your shirt last night?

Well, let's just say I learned
never to underestimate

a three-fingered chuck
wagon driver with one eye.

'The harvest is past, the summer is ended,

and we are not saved.
That's Jeremiah, Chapter 9 Verse 20

Listen to him brothers his words
are as true now as they were then!

Sir! Please, sir.
I won't take long.

Oh, please!

Listen, to what I have to say to you.

'Oh happy are they, who their Savior obey!'

Through Christ's all cleansing blood,

the Lord has something
wonderful in store for you.

The Lord loves you all,

the love of the Lord is
all that's wanted in return.

Surrender your life to the Lord
or you're doomed!

Surrender your life to the Lord
and ye shall be wonderfully saved!

May the Lord...
guide and keep you.

That was very nice, Miss.

Reminded me of my mother.

Did you forget something?

It's not supposed to be that way.

Well, sometimes you gotta give
faith a little help, Sister Grace.

They say so, in that book you carry.

Mind if I say something to you?

Please, do.

Well, I've listened to a
lot of evangelists before

and I don't think, that you're
cut out for the job.

Why do you say that?

Because when I hear a good
evangelist, my blood runs cold.

They breathe hellfire and brimstone
with every word. And that's just not you.

Never could be.

You're too gentle.

Good morning, Mr. Smith.

Morning.

I heard her, trying to talk
to those cow people.

Made me think of my husband
trying to talk to your Indians.

They aren't my Indians, Mrs. Fielding.

Where's your husband?

He's writing a report to Washington

about his 'preliminary contact'
with the Chiricahuas.

I don't leave. Please.

I want to talk with you.

All right.

have a seat.

Forgive me for saying this, but...

I don't think you're fierce
enough for this line of work.

But it's terribly important to me.

There's only one way to do it.

And you'll never be able to do it that way.

Nobody ever said that to me before.

No, Sister Grace, because you were in
the hands of a man who was using you.

Do you really think he was
gonna tell you the truth?

He needed you to attract a crowd

because you're young...

and because you're pretty.

Are you and your friend really going
back again into the mountains?

We're thinking about it.

Even though you almost got killed?

That's why we're thinking about it.

I wish, you wouldn't.

Why?

Because of you two -

being so typical of what my husband
thinks of as the 'Western Man'

If you decided not to go back,

he might come to his senses
and not go back either.

Why are you laughing?

Oh, a couple of reasons.

Me and my friend as a 'typical
Western Men' for one.

Aren't you?

I hope not.

Well, you certainly seem typical of
the Eastern idea of Western Men.

What do you and Mr. Jones do?

For a living, I mean.

Well, as Mr. Jones likes to put it:

As little as possible.

You want to understand this,
but we like the West.

That's why we travel a lot and...

pick up odd jobs -

some of them very odd.

No family? No wives?

Not even one wife.

Why else did you laugh at what I said.

How long have you known your husband?

Eight years.

I've only known him eight days
apparently I know him better than you.

Really?

I know for instance, that if

we decided not to go back
into the hills again,

he'd still go -

all alone.

You're right, of course.

I'm ashamed that I suggested, he wouldn't.

I'm afraid, you're much too right.

I don't understand him.

He was offered a post in
the State Department.

We could be living in Paris now...

or London...or Rome.

At least you are even.

Obviously he didn't understand
you too well either.

Excuse me.

Who is it?

It's me. Thaddeus.

Have I wake you?

No, I was reading the Bible...and thinking.

I want to talk to you.

Here? I my room?

It's very important.

Just a minute.

Come in.

You say, it's important?

Yeah.

Very important.

My friend and I decided to make
another trip into the hills.

Oh, I wish you wouldn't.

You could be killed.

There's an eastbound stage
coming through here tomorrow.

I want you to be on it.

I can't take that.

Look, just call it my
contribution to your sermon today.

I want you to use it.

Go home and think about what I said to you.

I have been thinking about it.

Perhaps you're right.

Maybe I just don't have any calling.

Aren't you a little young
to be worried about

what you're gonna do
for the rest of your life?

Just try and live a little bit, first.

I've never been frivolous.
Exactly.

When you get home, try to
be a little frivolous, will you?

Life will get grim soon enough
without any help from you.

I won't be seeing you again,

because we're gonna be leaving at daybreak.

Goodbye, Grace.

Good luck.

Well, this is where we separate.

Mr. Fielding?

Yes?

Did you ever think, maybe
if you waited a while

they wouldn't be so quick to shoot at you?

In a month or two the Indians might
begin to wonder what's happening.

Could make 'em a little more ready to talk.

I couldn't keep the army from ridin'
into those hills for two months.

They're eager to ride in there tomorrow.

I could be overruled at any moment.

They'd ride up into those
hills and kill them all.

All right - but don't you think you
ought to have a better plan

than just sticking your hands
up if they start shooting?

Can you give me a better plan, Mr. Smith?

No, I don't have a better one.

When I put my hands up,
they'll stop shooting.

If I didn't believe that,
I wouldn't go in there.

Well...goodbye, gentlemen.

Good luck.

I guess, nobody told him they're supposed
to be in the eastern part of these hills.

We're a quarter of a mile
from nearly $2,000.

We move nice and quiet, we're in an out,
nobody gets upset.

You're an odds player, Heyes.
How do you like these odds?

An odds player always looks at the pot.

I do like the pot.

Yeah, so do I.
But I don't like the odds.

I like it when you worry, Kid.

I can trust, you to look after me better.

It's Fielding.

Yeah.

Just keep chopping.

Come on!

This is the last, Heyes.

Caroline can come and get the rest of it.

Let's go home.

Let her go!

Stop!

Come on.

You're okay?
Yeah.

Hi, fellas.

How can we get Caroline
to share half of this?

Do you think this how Barney died?

No, he couldn't have been his stupid.

He probably died legitimately,
like falling off his horse.

Heyes, we should've known better.

We did know better.

What do you know about Indians?

Only what I heard when I was a kid.

That won't make you feel any better.

I heard those same stories.

You think they're true?
I hope not.

We'll just have to talk our way out.

They speak two languages,
neither of which are English.

What? Apache and what else?

Spanish, I think.

Heyes, I don't have a gun and in
Spanish your tongue isn't silver.

I think we...

Well, you boys don't seem as carefree
as the last time I saw you.

Well we're feeling better fast -

seeing you alive and
walking around like a guest.

I've spoken to them about both of you

and they gonna let you go.

They'll keep the gold you had and
you won't get your mule back.

But tomorrow morning
they'll give you your horses

and your free to leave.

That's the best news we've had all day.

What about you?
You're coming with us?

No.
Why not?

I haven't finished my business
with them, but we are talking.

Are they listening?

Yes, but I'm not at all sure they
believe a word I've said.

Do you mind, if I ask -
how are you talking to them?

I speak good Spanish. So do they.

What happens when you get ready to go?
They're going to let you?

I don't know.

No guarantees came with his job.

But I think when we finish talking

they'll let me leave.

Where Fielding?
Where Se?or Fielding?

I don't suppose you have any
word about my husband?

Yes, we do. He is with the
Indians but he's all right.

How do you know that?

Because they jumped us and
took us back to the camp.

He was there and he is all right.

Why didn't they let him go?

Because he wasn't ready to go.

But we think that when
he is... they'll let him.

Busted...

Well, if it isn't Smith and Jones!

My partners!

Put it there, partners!

Nothing.
The Indians took it away from us -

The one cache we had.

The other ones still there.
We didn't get that far.

Say that again.

The gold from the first cache,
the mule, everything. They got it.

And you're still alive to talk about it?

Why don't you two tell me that you
were robbed by elves in little green hats.

Caroline...

Cheated me!

You got two caches of my gold

and now you've decided
not to split with old Caroline!

Did you hear that, Barney?!

Come on, Caroline!

You gonna ride off tomorrow mornin'

like two double-crossin' vultures, right?

I got a feeling that you
lost your faith in us, Caroline.

All right,

if that's the way you want to play it!

There's nothing I can do.
There's nothing I can do, Barney!

Except get my other money back!

Smithers! Go and open that safe!

Caroline, we almost got killed
earning that money.

Now, it's ours.

No, we're keeping it.

I want my money back.

Whatever is in that safe!

Smithers, if you give it to her,
you and I are stepping out on that street.

They stole it from me.

Whatever is in that safe is mine.
I want it!

Smithers, for the first time
in your boot-licking life,

do something brave.

Defend me against these villains!

Stand up, like a man!

I'll be out on a street too, Smithers.

Well now, Missus Rangeley, I really...

Smithers,

how'd you like to play a little
blackjack with me?

All right.

I'll see you fellas later.
Right.

Shall we cut for deal, Smithers?

What do you do here?

I couldn't leave -

not without knowing you'd got back safely.

I see...

Now,

there's gonna be another stage
through here next week.

You're gonna be on that one, aren't you?

Are you going back again?

I mean, going after more of her gold dust?

No, Grace.

We can't even wait for
our horses to heal up.

We're gonna be in the next
stage going our way -

West.

Give me a minute, would you?

Yeah. We've got almost half an hour.

I was...

beginning to think I wouldn't see you again.

I wanna say good-bye.

I don't like good-byes.

But there was something I had to tell you.

Good-bye, Mrs. Fielding.

Good-bye, Mr. Smith.
Mrs. Fielding...

Are you thinking of reproaching
me again, Mr. Smith?

No...

I just hope, that someday
you find out who you married.

I think he'll be back.

It'd be a shame to be
so lucky and not know it.

Thank you.
I'll remember what you said.

...and so I decided that I can enjoy life

and not be frivolous.

Do you understand what I'm trying to say?

Remember now, I told you:
just a little frivolous.

But...sounds fine to me, Grace.

Good-bye.

Good-bye Thaddeus.
I'll never...

Hey, look!

Look!
He's back!

Thank you.

How did you manage to pull it off?

I convinced them, I really
dismissed the Indian agent,

and promised them
adequate food and clothing -

when I get back to Washington, I'd see

what I can do about getting
them more land and better.

And the Indians agreed,
to return to the reservation.

Agreed?

Yes, I agreed.

I get the gold that you
two missed this time,

and all the rest besides.

I don't need you two anymore!

With the Chiricahuas out of the mountains,

I'll just trapise on up there
and get it all myself!

Smith and Jones!

Boy, if that ain't a tip off to something...

Well, good-bye, Smith...

and Jones!

Well? What now?

Something restful.

How about going down the
Colorado River in a barrel?