Alfred Hitchcock Presents (1955–1962): Season 7, Episode 9 - I Spy - full transcript

Good evening patrons,

may I recommend the specialty of the house?

it's tipping,

it seems odd to me that
restaurant employees are called waiters,

when it's the customers
who do most of the waiting,

but no matter,
our story du jour is called I Spy,

and takes place at an english
seaside hotel,

but before we serve it up,

you must first
wait just one minute.

Henry Captain Morgans Devos,

fortunately I have been able
to obtain the post of waiter,



at the Queen's Hotel Brighton,

where mrs Morgan is
employed as a waitress,

this will give me plenty of opportunity
to observe her actions,

our man Frute has tracked her down,
captain Morgan.

Pretty distasteful.

Well Frute is a good
man you can rely upon him,

he is very discreet.

When I married, all I asked
was a little love,

a little devotion,

I gave that woman
everything she asked,

what is the reward, what do I get?

-Perhaps... -Without a word of
warning she vanished,

not even a postcard to say where she'd gone,

is there anything wrong with me?



Oh nothing captain Morgan,

nothing at all.

I’ve had a clean life,

doctor check me when I
started to get married,

I’ve got money in the bank, nice
little house,

feel as young as I look
and look as young as I feel,

yet she left me, why? why?

Ah, mr Frute will
give us the answer I’m sure.

-It's all pretty sordid. -You mean
I having taken this position as a waitress?

No, no, this divorce business, hiring a
private detective,

-and all that loathsome idea.
-No, no, come come, don't be depressed,

all we need is evidence,

has love do you think?

beckoned to mrs Morgan I mean uh,

since she parted from you, sir.

Well if I knew that, we shouldn't have to
hire a detective, should her?

Oh mr Frute...

They'll be blaming my lack of experience.

But you told them when you arrived
here mr Frute you'd been 15 years a waiter.

Oh well that was room service sort of thing
you know setting breakfast trays for two.

You would think by this time I would
have acquired the knack.

Oh the breakage has come off the tips.

And yet you mrs Morgan, you've been a
waitress no time at all.

Well just this past year.
-Yet the way you go around laying tables,

and setting about four trays at once,
I suppose you were just born neat-handed.

Oh it's hard on the feet though all that
standing.

Oh well you're right there.

-Mrs Morgan,
-Yes?

Tomorrow if I remember rightly it's
your afternoon off.

-Well now so it is.
-Are you doing anything in particular?

No mr Frute.

Not meeting
'mr special' by any chance?

There's no such individual.

Well you know what they say sometimes:
their safety in numbers,

bees around the honeypot hosts of a man.

No one at all I’m afraid.

Well as I was saying Gladys, it is not
one feels drawn to another human being,

and once bitten of
course twice shy,

and in my case I was
always shy even as a girl,

Gladys,
look behind I think we're being followed

-Oh yes.
-Oh that's all right then,

I just remembered jack the ripper was
said to have disguised himself as one,

take another big look,

is he still following us?

-No.
-That's good,

there's a shelter over there
Gladys, let's go and sit down,

-my feet are killing me.
-That would be nice.

Sometimes I think Gladys mr Frute isn't
really a waiter at all,

but he's just doing it because well,
because of some woman,

I can't get it out of my head he may
have been crossbow check,

Gladys dear, no offense at all course I’m
glad of your company,

but you're not a great one for
conversation are you?

oh thank you,

your card's coming
down quite tarantula,

well as I was saying Gladys
he's a bit of a puzzle,

there's something
sad about him lonely like,

I wonder what he's
doing with his time off?

hope he's keeping dry for a fella, he's
got such a sensitive look,

but he's such a nice type,

makes me want to look after him,

he's a very nice type,
quite reliable too I’m sure.

I was able to overhear scattered sentences

which mrs Morgan addressed
to her friend Gladys,

it appeared that mrs Morgan was
discussing men,

and one man in particular, for whom she
obviously feels a decided affection,

but he looks uncommonly, as
though we've struck oil, captain.

Oil?

Well there appears
to be another man.

This detective fella seems to know more
about my private life than I do myself.

That is the point of a private detective,
Captain.

He's right, there is another man,

that explains everything.

-What?
-Well you said yourself you couldn't,

understand why any woman
should want to leave me,

-now we know. -Know what?

The seducer, this foreigner with
his big car and sleek black hair.

-You know who he is? -Of course not.

Yes, well...

He's the missing link,
you see, she rarely loved me,

but he swept her off her feet
she couldn't help herself.

But Frutes reports
merely states that a man is mentioned.

-Oh but she left me, the inference is clear.
-Well I’m afraid not,

no, at the moment we have
no actual proof of any uh,

relationship.

Well get it, tell your
mr Frute to press on.

I brought you drop a whiskey,

-this'll loosen your throat nothing else will.
-Thank you, mrs Morgan.

Or to take more care of yourself
getting soaked through like that,

now put your feet back in.

Thank you.

We saw you the other evening Gladys and I.

-Did you? -At the cinema,

we waved but you didn't notice, enjoy
your time off did you?

Not especially.

On the pier were you?

-Part of the time.
-Ever such nasty weather ,wasn't it?

I expect that's how you caught your cold,

you have a drop more whiskey?

Oh no thank you mrs M, thank you,

there was very warming in there,

you'd be very kind to me all the time
I’ve been working here mrs M,

do you mind if I ask you something?

Anything mr Frute.

Why did you leave your husband?

-We just didn't hit it all.
-How did you two meet?

Well, I was selling cigarettes
on Paddington station,

platform number nine,
and the captain made the journey regular,

I’d only known him two months when he
proposed,

marry me he said, there'll soon be a war,

and when I die under fire, I want to know
there's someone broken-hearted.

-So you thought you better marry him?
-Yes,

but it didn't turn out like that,

there wasn't any war,

and they put him in charge of the army
post office,

-the Pallborough. -At least a chance for
hoblight.

It wasn't home life mr Frute,

not as I understand it,

the captain wanted me to
love him for himself alone.

Which you found not possible?

He couldn't
bear the idea of any rival,

he kept a revolver by the bed,

the last bullet, he said, was
for me in case of the russians.

No faith of the
Navy, eh?

Once he ran out of the bathroom with,

just a towel around him,

here's the man he cried stripped
of his regimentals,

love me for what I am,

do you or don't true when he put it
like that.

-Nothing for it but the truth.
-Yes, I had to tell him I didn't,

that made him suspicious, another man he
said, he put two bullets in the revolver,

one for you, he said, and the other for
him whoever he may be,

and that's when I left.

Supposing the captain should get wind of
a certain gentleman...

What gentleman?

well?

Perhaps not a hundred miles from where
we're sitting.

Oh mr Frute, wherever did you get that idea?

A reliable source.

More reliable than I am?

I wouldn't say more so,

Mrs M, do you really mean that since you
left the captain there's been nobody else?

No,

how about you mr Frute,

matrimony ever
appeal?

Just pass me by, it's too late now.

Then we're both in the same boat.

-How?
-Both of us, destined to be single,

well I must get back
I’ve got my table to lay.

Well I’ll drive your feet off and
come and give you a hand.

Don't you dream of it, you're not fit to work,

I can manage.

Wonderful, the way you've taken to it.

Well the fact
is I’m relaxed,

I’m at ease,

you know, I’ve been thinking,
tomorrow is once more your afternoon off.

-Thursday again already? -Does come
round, doesn't it? so I was wondering,

-Yes? -Well I thought perhaps I might have
the privilege...

If you put it like that mr Frute.

Oh I don't know I thought we might
have a stroll to the Royal Pavilion,

-perhaps a visit to the cinema.
-Oh I shall enjoy that.

That's his order take.

Don't goggle at me, pull yourself
together.

-We can't talk here sir? -Yes we can,

our behaviors if I’m ordering much.

Yes sir, cream of celery.

That last report of yours,

you referred to the
defendant as beautiful,

-most unconventional.
-Steam cards,

Time is money,
and you're wasting enough of both.

I expect results,

I expect tangible facts
to emerge.

-Jam rolling coffees, sir?
-Please understand,

within a week I want a full report,

of her carryings on, otherwise,

you may consider
yourself off the case.

Now take my order,

scotch broth, fried pace and chips.

This used to be the royal dining room.

Fancy having to keep the
meals hot for all those people.

-What a gorgeous chandelier. -I would like
to have to wash that down.

Well mrs Morgan I, I hope that
you'll remember me kindly when I move on.

You're leaving us mr Frute?

there's nothing wrong I hope.

Business, purely business.

-I am sorry. -I am too.

Weitring is only a sideline for you,
isn't it really?

-That is so.
-And you have some other business,

you must be writing a book, I’ve often
heard you typing up in your bedroom.

I’m afraid I don't aspire as high as
that mrs Morgan.

What exactly is your other business?

-Well, it's a bit private.
-Oh I didn't mean to butt in.

-Oh you know, confidential. -Ah the secret
service,

I understand.

-It's a lovely ornament.
-It's on the large side,

but very nice.

Really the hotel won't seem
the same without you mr Frute?

-Won't misses M? -Before you came it
wasn't exactly a homey place,

now when I look around I see how it
could be fixed,

it was just a dream of mine.

That hotel's a bit of a
nightmare if you ask me.

It was silly of me.

I just don't fit into the pattern of
family life.

Whatever do you mean?

-Well you'd find it hard to understand...
-Yes?

Well what I’m trying to do, I hope,

will leave you free for when,

When...?

When the right man comes along,

as he must.

After you've gone can I send you a
postcard,

a rough sea at Brighton.

Well thank you,
yes I should like that,

-to tell you the truth...
-Yes mr Frute?

Glad it was me you went
out with this afternoon,

I wouldn't have liked to
have been anyone else,

not today,

well I suppose we better be going or
we'll be late for the cinema.

Do you like films about love mr Frute?

Frankly I prefer detection,

-till now. -Oh mystery you mean.

My uncle called it that, yeah,

well we better be going on,
we missed the trailers.

Do you suppose the prince ever
eat his dinner here alone?

Not if the princess had to walk all
that way with the plates on her arm.

We've had a nice time.

I don't think the honeymoon couple
staying here could have had a nicer.

There's something about a honeymoon.

I suppose there is,

-the day will come mrs M.
-I’m not very hopeful.

-You never know.
-I’d need a divorce first,

and I don't know how to get it.

Love will conquer every obstacle.

Sometimes when you talk,

it's like real poetry.

Good night.

And once more thank you.

Thank you.

Good night then.

You know, what you said about...love,

and conquering the obstacles.

-Well I mean you, you want to
take courage in both hands. -Shhh.

Yes but I mean,
you know, if you feel...you're in the,

in the group of forces
that are sweeping you away,

you don't want to resist them.

You don't want to try to resist them.

Oh mr Frute...

Mrs Morgan, smartly turned out in a blue
dress of some silk material,

with white handbag and
accessories was first seen with,

her gentleman friend at the Royal Pavilion,

later they repaired to a cinema,

where they watched a film entitled:
Lovers and Strangers.

-Disgusting.
-What?

and the evening terminated with
the gentleman in question,

a distinguished looking middle-aged
man of professional appearance,

escorting mrs Morgan back to the hotel,
and upstairs to her room,

they were seen to kiss,

he didn't emerge from the hotel
until the following morning,

well, where's your case captain Morgan?

I don't?
you get my hands on the boundary.

It's irrefutable evidence if you want
your divorce,

all we have to do is to prepare the petition.

-Eva Morgan? -Yes?

-This is for you.
-Oh thank you.

-Good morning.
-Good morning.

What's this?

a circular or something?

It's a petition for divorce.

On Thursday the 12th of September,

at the Queen's Hotel Brighton,

with a man whose name
and identity are unknown,

she did...I don't understand 'unknown',

what 'unknown', what does it mean?

I feel ashamed,

very ashamed.

Mr Frute,

what was that other
business you said you did?

I’m a private detective.

So you're responsible
for me getting this?

I was employed by your
husband to keep an eye on you.

But you know it, isn't true
you were there all the time.

I’m afraid I based my report to the lawyer
on our little trip out the other afternoon,

and I took some liberties
with the truth it was.

-Was what?
-Well it was wishful thinking,

oh I shouldn't have done it up,
I’ll say it's a lie,

you've been so good to me mrs
Morgan put it right I promise you.

-Suppose you don't deny it. -But I must.

The captain would divorce me and I’d be
free again, wouldn't I?

-Oh I expect so.
-To marry again.

-If you wanted to. -I do want to.

Any particular gentleman?

You mr Frute.

Voila,

don't know what to say.

Well, now I’ve got a little
bit of money put aside,

we could put that down on a house.

Well I mean I’ve got a little tucked
away under the mattress if you...

if you really think you could face the
rest of your life as...

-mrs Frute. -Oh I’d love to,

let them think the worst of me, let the
captain divorce me.

Oh I will, I will, you really are the most
remarkable woman.

I’ve loved you from the very first time
I was put on this case,

-I’ll change my profession. -Oh no don't do
that mr Frute, why?

The name is Henry my love, well to a
lady like yourself it would be distasteful.

Oh not distasteful at all my dear,
it seems a very useful profession.

Well I must admit, another pair of eyes
would be a great help.

I’d be proud to help, Henry.

I think that illustrates that all things
come to him who waits,

and polishing silver doesn't hurt either,

and now here is the commercial,
that comes with this story,

sorry we don't allow substitutions.

That last certainly makes one long for a
la carte television,

next week I shall return with a
different story and,

unless I’m more diplomatic,

a different sponsor,
until then, good night.