Alfred Hitchcock Presents (1955–1962): Season 6, Episode 8 - O Youth and Beauty! - full transcript

Good evening and
thank you very much.

Naturally I am pleased to
have won the race, but I would,

like to console the losers
with this bit of philosophy.

It matters not who runs the race.
It's how you win the count.

I have a feeling I wasn't
expected to triumph.

The wreath is size
eight and a quarter.

I'll have to take a tuck in it. And now
for the next event, in the preliminaries,

this contestant made the
distance in one minute flat.

Let us hope
he can improve that.

What are you doing Cash?
Looking at the Hudson?

Yeah it's a funny thing about that
river tonight. It's flowing backwards.



-Backwards?
-Yeah I've been watching it about an hour.

It's flowing the wrong way.

-Oh! You mean the tide's
coming up, huh?

No. The whole river is flowing
backwards from New York to Albany.

Time's flowing
right along with it.

What have you been
drinking, hair tonic?

Get your hand off.

What's the matter?

Look I'm just sitting here peacefully. I don't
like anybody coming along messing up my hair.

Muscling up your hair, Cash?

I think you're lucky to
have enough to muss at your age.

When does they
start the race Louise?

-Where's Cash?
-On the veranda.

Cash...



Are you all right?
Oh darling you're not going...

Why did you come out here?
Jim tell you something?

-Please darling not tonight.
-I'm asking you what did he say?

Darling we haven't paid our dues in a year,

and every saturday night
you mess things up.

What do you mean I messed things up?

Honestly darling they won't
even let us in the club.

-I don't mess things up.
-Hey Cash

Hey champ, what
time's the race boy?

There isn't going to be
a race tonight Jim.

Hey, no race tonight
fellas. Boy I never,

Thought I'd see
this sad day coming.

The champion races
no more.

Cash don't say anything just
don't answer them.

Now the slob's wife
has to pick him up,

with a car of it. Now he
can't even walk up shake it.

-Darling don't let them tease you.
-What's the matter Cash?

Have you lost your
wind?

Fellas I'm afraid that age has
gotten the better of our champions.

Champ, champ...

I know what he needs
he needs another drink.

-No thanks Jim, not tonight.
-What? it's your favorite drink.

I'm not taking the
hurdles tonight.

That's right we're leaving now.

Oh hey, wait a minute
champ it's gin and tonic.

And when I say tonic you
know what i mean champ.

I mean pure hair.

All right Jim so you make
three times the money I do.

So you can pay your bills that I can't.

-But you can't stand the fact that I was once a champion.
-Okay...

So I'm still healthy and I'm not
getting soft like the rest of you.

Ah cut it out, will you.
I just wanted a hurdle race.

I love a hurdle race.

All right you'll
get a hurdle race.

Attention everybody
Cash is gonna jump!

Okay gang let's get
everything organized.

Lay the floor
for the hurdle race.

You want a race I'll
give you a race.

All right and I expect you to
beat your best time tonight.

-Are you ready?
-Go get my coat in the car.

George give me a little more
space behind that sofa will you.

Phil, move that
table back a little.

Move those girls out of there.

I'll fire when I see
the whites of your eyes.

Ok, fellas I'm ready.

On your mark.

Get set.

Go!

Cash Bentley my hat's off to you that
was the best hurdling I ever did see.

Here's your coat champ.

Wait a minute, I
haven't finished yet.

Finish what?

What I started out to do.

Don't forget your gun Cash.

Come on honey let's go. The
babysitter will be sore.

Or does she have that
boyfriend tonight.

Sweetheart I'm just
crazy about that face.

Mrs Bentley, is that you?

-Yes, Kathy.
-No Kathy.

-Oh hello mrs Bently.
-Hello kathy.

- I hope we didn't scare you did we?
-Oh not at all.

-I was just making sure...
-Hello mr Bentley. -Hello.

Hello, Eric.

-Kathy, are the children all right?
-Oh fine they went right to sleep.

Did you close the
window in your bedroom?

-Yes I did I thought it got chilly in there.
-Oh good.

It was hard to ask, you do you
think you'll be free next weekend.

Yes saturday evening.

Oh well I'm not definitely
sure about it yet but if I,

call you in the middle of
the week we'll be all right?

-Fine I'll keep it open for you.
-Thank you.

-Are you working for
anyone else. -Yes I am.

-You sure got a fine collection of trophies mr Bentley.
-Yes.

Mr Bentley I ran those films of
you winning the intercollegiates.

-Mrs Bentley gave me permission.
-Sure.

They're pretty old.

Eric, Kathy's waiting.

-Good night mrs Bentley.

-Good night, dear.
-Good night mrs Bentley.

Please.

What would you do
without a husband.

Oh shut up.

I'll never smile again.

Until I smile at you
I'll never love again.

You know those russian ballet
dancers that jump so high?

How about I could have
been one of those, huh?

What do you think?

Darling, I spoke to the doctor
about straightening jody's teeth.

I don't think we can do
it now it costs too much.

All right, I know.

Money.

I suppose you wish you were
married to Jim.

And you'll have
three times as much money.

You'd have a slob
but you'd have money.

-Did you put the cat out?
-No I didn't.

Give me time.

-What were you doing?
-I was dancing.

Since I'm not allowed to hurdle anymore
i thought I might be allowed to dance,

a step or two before I die.

Why do you want to keep me from hurtling?
Herdling's my life.

Listen Cash, if it means so
much to why don't you jump over,

- the dining room table every morning.
-You think I can't.

-I said do you think I can't jump over the
dining room table. -Yes of course you can.

What about the sofa?
-Yes of course you can.

-And the hedge?
-Yes! -Your five foot hedge of the patio?

-Yes!. -Guys can jump
over that? -Yes, yes, yes!

You mean you really have got faith in
your husband well sit down and watch.

Cash, you you can't be serious.

-Cash, you're drunk.
-Sll right this is the course.

Over this table...

over this chair, into the patio
around the pool over the hedge.

Back around the pool over that
chair, and we'll end up right here.

Cash, if you do this I'll
never talk to you again.

You worried about my heart?
You'll get the insurance.

-Cash I beg you.
-On your mark.

-I hate you.
-Get set.

Oh, what is it?
-I broke my leg.

Oh, stupid can I be.

Call the doctor.

I never told you it wasn't a serious,

break. In a sense all breaks are serious.

And after we get to a certain age
they tend to become more serious.

Tell me honestly, doc,
will I walk again?

Of course you'll walk again.

-Will I run again?
-Yes you'll run again.

-What kind of an answer is that?
-What do you mean?

Well the tone in
your voice belies the words.

I didn't say you were going to
run from here to San Francisco.

Will I i hurdle again?

No, of course of course
you won't hurdle again.

It's an idiotic question because you never
should have been hurdling in the first place.

You're not a kid anymore.

Okay doc, so I'm
not a kid anymore.

I'll just take your
advice and grow up and die.

Well it's something
we all have to face.

I told him I'd take
the cast off before long.

-But he's got to be very careful.
-Thank you doctor. Goodbye.

Boy some saturday night.

Why don't we go
to parties anymore?

Insult everyone that
comes into the house.

They did have a party I don't
see why they'd have to invite us.

Sure...

Oh what are they gonna
do dance all night?

Teenagers, how
stupid can you get?

-Shut up! -Cash, they are just having a little
fun. -Well that's more than I am.

Cash?

Cash, it's the blackwoods they
want us to go to the club.

What for? We don't
evenbelong anymore.

-Well they do. They want us to be their guests.
-How nice.

How Jim dandy. I wonder why
they're being concerned...

Cash, they're on the phone
what should I tell them.

Tell them sure. Sure
Cash wants to come.

He's gonna do the
hurdles for him.

You wanted to go, didn't you?

Oh youth.

Beauty.

Good night sweetheart.

On your mark.

Get set.

Bang!

Hey Cash, hey champ, easy.

-Not supouse to start him off?
-Sure.

On your mark, get set...go.

Question four: what did
wordsworth mean when he said...

The thought of death
rests easy on the,

man who has been born and
dies among the mountains.

Please be careful Cash.

What's the matter don't
you think I can walk.

-Hello kathy.
-Good evening mrs Bentley.

-Hello Eric.
-Hello mrs Bentley.

-Is everything all right?
-Fine.

-I'm sorry.
-Oh that's all right.

-Oh sure.
-Tomorrow I go to church but not till 11.

-Good night mrs Bentley.
-Good night dear.

You coming out dear?

You go ahead, I want
to look at something.

Cash, what are you
doing?

The darn cat goes under the
sofa and I can't catch it.

Are you moving the furniture?

Cash?

Here.

Cash, why don't you come to bed?

Sure.

I'm a hurtler. not gonna hurt.

Now you fire.

Cash, I never fire a gun.

I'll say on your mark.

Get set.

And you fire.

Cash I won't.

So you will.

Just pull the trigger.

On your mark.

Get set.

Come on I can't wait all night.

On your mark!

Get set!

Cash,

I don't know how to do it.

The little lever. Just push that little
lever, then you can pull the trigger.

On your mark.

Get set!

Come on!

On your mark!
Get set!

Go!

Cash?

Cash...

That is known as
domestic skeet shooting.

With live skeet.

And I see another
commercial is coming up.

it's amazing what you see
when you don't have a gun.

By the way tonight's
story has inspired,

something new and
exciting in track meets.

Spectators are sold
pistols instead of popcorn.

But the bang is limited to
three hurdlers per person.

I'm told it adds a great
deal of zest to the sport.

Next week we should continue
our study of the strange byways,

of american folklore.
Until then good night.