Alfred Hitchcock Presents (1955–1962): Season 6, Episode 27 - Deathmate - full transcript

Good evening.

Because the television screen
distorts the human figure,

some people have the mistaken idea
that I?m larger than the average.

I can only say that if
you think I am large,

now you should see me before taxes.

No doubt inspired by this
impression a well-meaning viewer,

has sent me a reducing machine.

However it is so unique I
want to share it with you.

It is amazingly successful in
cutting off those extra pounds.

As you see this is a
revolutionary concept,

in weight reduction. These exquisite
machines come in a number of sizes.



This is the Madame Lafage model,
except for two knitting needles,

it has no extras at all.

From this they are variously
priced up to the salon size,

which comes with a
parking lot for tumbrils,

and a small crowd to
jeer and spit at you.

I?m certain you will agree that the
advertisements for the salon model,

do not exaggerate when they
say it is fit for a king.

But we have a dramatic show to
present, if I were a critical man,

I would say the production
could be vastly improved,

by some judicious pruning.

For example this...

DEATHMATE

Three,

Oh you're good very good.



You're good at everything
aren't you Conan?

Well I don't know Peter.

As the man said just lucky I guess.

Oh, not lucky
just good.

Lisa doesn't think
you're lucky. Not Lisa.

She thinks you're good too.

Don't you Lisa?

Oh I think Ben is very
good in lots of ways.

So far he's beaten
your cards, billiards,

and at your own
favorite game, golf,

which reminds me to remind you,

did you pay him the fifty dollars
he won from you yesterday?

Fifty dollars? I must
forget the payoff bets.

I?ll write a check, my check
good enough for you Conan?

Sure it is.

But I still don't want it.

However you insist
on paying off a bet.

You lost this last game,
so chug it down again.

Some lousy game.

Well here goes nothing.

I think that's enough
for now old man.

Not so fast there, you gotta
give me a chance to win.

Tomorrow's another day,

-I?ll give you a chance then, all right?
-Tomorrow is too late.

I insist now, right here and now.

Take it easy you better
lie down for a while.

-Come on Peter take a nap.
-Once you know about it.

You don't fool me Lisa I know you.

Who's Ben Conan
think he is anyway?

Just a friend Peter that's all.

Ben, what makes a
man change so much?

In just two short years.
When I first married him,

-he seemed so strong, so capable.
-Well no one really knows what,

makes a man the way he is.

What forces him to do
the things he does,

it's for me pretending
to be a psychiatrist.

No Ben, but you're kind.

Steady dependable.

You're just the way men should be.

It's getting dark.

Dusk, the loneliest time of day.

Is it that way for you too?

It's that way for
everybody in the world?

Only for those who
don't have anyone.

And this solitude finds you out
and you look for the face you love.

-but it isn't there.
-And you listen for a voice,

and it isn't there either.

I think I know what you're going to
say. It's a crazy world isn't it?

And you hardly know me, is that
what you were going to say?

No, what I was going to say...

Just two short weeks ago I
didn't even know you were alive.

And now, now you're the most
important thing in my life.

-And I can't help it.
-I hope you mean that.

-Because I love you.
-I know that.

It seems as if I?ve been
waiting for you all my life.

-And yet... -What? -You're right even though
you won't say it.

-We do know so little about each other.
-I know I love you.

And have since the
first moment I saw you.

As far as my past life is concerned
there's really not much to tell.

Keep talking darling I love
the sound of your voice.

You know it's the first time
we've ever been alone together.

Peter's in there.

He'll be out for hours.

And he also fired the
servants this morning.

Tell me why didn't
you ever get married?

Because I knew that somewhere in this
world there was someone like you,

I?d never met her but I
wouldn't settle for less.

So I remained in Arizona
and kept busy with my mind.

-Mine a gold mine?
-No darling a silver mine.

Although I must admit it kept
me in beans and sourdough,

and an occasional trip
to Europe thrown in,

-or at least it used to.
-Used to?

-Are you having problems?
-No no no it'll all work out.

Business worries can make a
person sick. Very nearly did me.

Three years ago when my father
died he left the business to me,

then after I married Peter, I
gave him authority to manage it.

When I found out what he was
like, I asked him for a divorce.

He just laughed at me, with
the community property...

It seems we're orphans of the
storm, the financial storm that is,

but we'll make out.

Sorry mr Conan, maybe I should call
you Fred Sheldon or Terry Lord?

I think you're making a mistake.

-People are often mistaking me for...
-So? Know who I always took you for?

No, and I don't care, now if you'll
excuse me I?m on my way to breakfast.

I?ll tell you who I thought you were,
and I could stand some coffee myself.

Oh we could sit down here
for a couple of minutes,

no use causing a scene if
we don't have to is it.

This is highly embarrassing.

Now what in places
are you talking about?

About a lad named Fred Sheldon
wanted for bigamy in Miami.

This Sheldon?s a real doll,
he's lived off women for years,

bleeds widows,
blackmails married dames,

anything for a buck, and
when he's through with them,

some of them take over
doses of sleeping pills.

All very interesting, what
was I got to do with me?

Well let's look at it this way, last year
at this time he was posing as Terry Lord,

a retired air force colonel, this
year he calls himself Ben Conant,

and pretends to own a silver mine.

-And where do you come in?
-Oh yes my name is Moss,

Alvin Moss, ten years on the
san Francisco vice squad.

I?m a private investigator
now semi-retired,

would you believe it? My client pays me
40 bucks a day for the past two weeks,

to check on this
Sheldon character.

And uh who is your client?

Let's not be naive.

Try it...

please.

So long Sheldon.

I?ve been worried about your phone
call you sounded so mysterious.

I?m sorry darling I didn't mean
to be but, I had to see you.

Then there is something
wrong? What is it?

Well it's not very pleasant.

-Have you seen Peter at all today?
-No he was still out when I left.

Why?

Because I wanted to tell
you before anybody else did.

-I?m afraid your husband is having us watched.
-No.

-He probably knows all about last night by now.
-No Benny can't.

I?m afraid so darling.

This morning a nasty little private eye
character threatened me at my hotel.

That's just like Peter, not enough
nerve to come to you himself.

Not only that, apparently he's
paying this man to throw mud at me.

Calling me a crook, con
man, I don't know what else.

I?m sorry that, I
don't know what to say.

You should have never
gotten involved with me.

We are involved and
it's our problem.

Now what are we
going to do about it?

What can we do? Peter is jealous.

And now this will
be really dangerous.

Well, I?m scared. I?ve
got to leave Peter, tonight.

And don't forget donnie with the
evidence your husband has,

he can fight you in court he'll take
you for everything you've got.

I can't let him do that.

No I?m I?m the one who's leaving.

No, let Peter keep the
business he's ruined it anyway.

I?ve got you Ben, and you're
everything that Peter isn't.

-You're successful and...
-Successful?

Everything bad happens at once.

This came this morning.

I don't understand.

I can't meet my payroll, they're closing
the mine, that's what it means.

But there's
something you can do.

Sure sure, I can sell out to Tri-state
Mining a big outfit for peanuts.

Fifty thousand dollars.

How much money
do you need?

I don't know I suppose
ten thousand would do it.

What a fool I am, a month
ago I had the money.

Right now I?m broke.

I?d do anything darling, I?d
work I?d make sacrifices.

I know that that sounds
stupid, corny, but I would.

You could sell out to tri-state,

you'd have fifty thousand dollars
and you could get another position.

It's not so easy these days and...

I couldn't do that to you.

I know it's awful of me,
but I wish Pete had,

never survived that
heart attack last month.

I wish he was dead.

With the heart the way it is maybe.

And don't worry
darling, we'll make out.

-I?m going to get us two reservations on the
flight for Phoenix tonight. -Oh wonderful.

I think you'd better see
your attorney this afternoon,

and I...I?m trying to
have a talk with Peter.

-My time would be best to see him.
-But for?

Is usually up by then.

I love you darling.

-Well well if it isn't mr Conan?
-May I come in?

What do you want?

I came to say goodbye.

You got a nerve coming here?

Then, your type of
business takes her, doesn't it?

You want me to go
away is that it?

-To stop seeing your wife.
-Of course.

Although I must admit you
and Lisa are two of a kind.

Immorals, a couple
of tiger sharks.

I knew she married me for
what she could get out of me.

But I hardly dreamed she was such
an incredibly gracious woman.

And why are you so
anxious to keep her?

-Unfortunately I happen to be in love with her.
-And her money?

-You got to be joking.
-About what?

I spotted you, the very first day.

Well well Freddie Sheldon.

I stopped by to pick up
my cigarette lighter.

-I forgot it last night.
-Convenient.

-Where's Talbot?
-I don't know.

-I guess nobody's here.
-No then how'd you get in?

I knocked, all right?

-Door's open. -Isn't that always the
case? ?did you find your lighter?

I haven't had a chance
to look I just got here.

I hear water running somewhere,
let's take a look Freddy.

-I?ve got better things to do.
-I said let's take a look.

In there Freddy.

-What's happened?
-I?m just going to ask you that Freddy.

So you did i,t you really did it?

I?m surprised, I didn't think you had
the guts. -Are you out of your mind?

-I heard you've been threatening his life.
-You're crazy I never threatened him.

From con man to murder
in one easy jump.

No no you got it all
wrong it it was his heart.

He had another attack just like before
but but this time it killed him.

You could do
better than.

-Talbot?s heart was fine.
-But I know it his wife told me.

Talbott was one of the
richest men on the coast,

if he was sick, you think he
wouldn't have a pack of doctors?

You're making it up,
you're trying to frame me.

He didn't have any money, he
was sponging off his wife.

You're killing me Freddie look up Talbot
and dun and brad street. Over that way.

-You calling the cops?
-Yes but first I?m calling my client.

Client? He's dead.

Yes Freddie, I said my client, the
one who hired me and pays me.

Lisa Talbot.

By the way Lisa and Ben
Conan did not get married,

if any of you are wondering.
Her studies would not permit it.

She is working on an advanced degree
at a large state penitentiary,

where she must remain in
residence some 20 years.

I know many of you would like
to see me use this machine,

I shall do so in
just one minute or,

faster than my sponsor can do.

Next week we shall be
back with another story,

in answer to request
for these machines,

I would like to announce
that they are available,

at all french revolutionary
war surplus stores.

Good night.