Alfred Hitchcock Presents (1955–1962): Season 5, Episode 11 - Road Hog - full transcript

Ed Fratus is a traveling salesman specializing in novelty items sold in bars and saloons. He's also a mean and arrogant type who isn't all that well-liked by almost everyone he comes across. Driving along a narrow road, Fratus refuses to let a pick-up truck pass him. Little does he know that local farmer Sam Pine is trying desperately to get his severely injured son to a hospital. When the boy dies, Sam and his two surviving sons devise a plan to ensure Fratus understands there is a cost to be paid for his arrogance and selfishness.

Good evening, aficionados
of outdoor cooking.

I'm quite thrilled
with my new barbecue.

It was rather inexpensive, but of course,
I didn't take any of the extras.

I eschewed the heat indicator
and temperature control,

the motor-driven spit,
the glass-covered rotisserie,

the stainless steel side table,

the built-in blower,
the warming oven,

the utensil rack,
and the asbestos gloves.

I did buy the
fire-starter, however.

I understand one
rubs these together.

For buying the lighter, I received
free a restaurant credit card.

I expect to have no trouble
acquiring charcoal.

Since I have a fellow barbecuer

who makes it
out of beef steaks.

I was given this
amusing costume to wear.

Frankly, I've now lost
my appetite completely.

Perhaps we should turn
our attention to the play.

That cute kid out there.

Hi, boys. Hi, Ed.

All still working hard, I see.

Ed, lap your lip
around a cold one?


What happened to you last week?

Busy? I'll bet
he's been in jail.

The cops probably found out what he's
carrying around in that car of his.

Why don't you shut that big mouth
of yours, so I can see who it is?

No need of getting sore, Ed.

I got a new line
of doozies, Ben.

No, I'm going to stick with
them nickel Lucky Charlies.

Give me about a dozen of them.

A couple of them
dime Jackpot Aces.

Come on, Ben, live it up.

Ah, here's one, a
quarter, Lady of Love.

Should be hot.

Nah, I've been stuck with
them quarter boards before.

They get them half punched out
and nobody wants to finish them.

How about a couple of cards of these?
You sell them for 50 cents.

Make yourself $4 clear.

Are you kidding?

Ain't nobody foolish enough to
pay four bits for a key ring.

Heck, no. Not when you can buy
'em in town for a quarter.

Not like this, you can't. Here.

Let's see it, Ed.

Look through the
hole at the top.

Hot diggity dog!

Are they all different?
Yeah, they're all different.

But you gotta buy them
if you wanna see them.


Hey, there's something
nice for the kitchen, uh?

Hey, how can they pack all of that
picture in that one little old ring?

Ed, I'll take a couple of these.
What else you got in there?

Well, I, um, I got
some new playing cards.

I'll take one.


Well, one lousy pack of cards don't even
pay me to pull off the road to see you.

Well, that's up to you. I didn't
ask you to stop off here.

Well, maybe I'll think
twice about it next time.

I'm going on over
to Charles Creek,

maybe I can get me some
real business over there.

Pa! Pa, come here quick!

Get in there!
Get back. Get over there!

Get in there! Get in!
Clay! Get back!


Comanche got to him twice
before I could get to a fork!

I warned Davy Comanche
would get mean some day.

I'll shotgun that bull
if Davy's hurt bad.

You drive the truck, Clay, we
got to get Davy to a doctor.

Is he hurt bad, Pa? Horned
twice, low down in the belly.

I can't stop it from bleeding.

Sam, hold your hand
on the place, tight.

Charles Creek's nearest! Yeah.

Take it easy, Davy. Won't be long
now till we get to a doctor.

Don't go taking it out on Comanche, Pa.
It was my own fault.

A bull goes for a man
once, he'll do it twice.

Clay! Clay! What's wrong?

Darn fool up ahead
won't pull over.

Well, you've got to
get round him somehow.

Who do you think you are?
Own this stinking road?

Clay, you've got
to get past him!

You've got to hurry!

Bunch of stupid farmers.
Corn-picking yokels!

Aw, shut up!

Let us through! Emergency!
There's been an accident!

So what? Ain't no
skin off my nose!

That guy's only doing
10 miles an hour.

It's still eight miles
to Charles Creek.

You got to go around him, Clay!

You just got to
go ahead and do it.

If he'd just give me six more
inches, I could make it.

Big shot, eh?
Own the whole road.

Pull over! Pull over, you!

Tryin' to pass me, huh?
Go ahead!

I couldn't help it, Pa.

That dirty skunk deliberately
pulled over on me.

And I was scared of hurting Davy more.
I know, son.

Do you want me to
tote Davy into town, Pa?

It's too far, Sam. Too far.

How about the short cut
across the pasture?

No, it would jolt Davy
up too much all inside.

But we just can't
stand here, Pa!

We're not.

We're going to build us a road right up
out of this ditch with our own hands!

Come on! Get at it!

I'm sorry, Mr. Pine. Your son
simply lost too much blood.

We were too late, eh?

Yeah, too late.

If we'd got Davy here,
15, 20 minutes sooner,

you could have
saved him, Doctor?


I'd say there'd have
been a good chance.

Come out and say it, Doc.

Well, he would have gotten
the transfusion in time

and probably been kept
out of deep shock.

But you could have saved him?

Yes, I could have saved him.

I'm going to
get the shotgun, Pa.

Davy wouldn't want you
to use it on Comanche.

I'm not planning
to use it on the bull.

I'm going with you, Sam,
and we'll find that...


We'll find the man
in the wagon.

We'll look for him
till we find him.

But we're going to
do it your Pa's way.

Tulip. Tulip!

What's the matter, Mr. Pine?
You out of gas?

There was a station
wagon here yesterday.

Must've left
just before sundown.

You tell me who was driving it.

You must mean, uh...

Well, I get pretty
good trade here.

I don't know of any
particular station wagon.

Sure you know.

He pulled up here
for gas. Right here.

Now just you hold on a minute.

Where do you come off coming in
here asking me questions like that?

I'm asking you fair.

Now you tell me.

All right, it was Ed Fratus.

Yeah, must've been Ed Fratus.

Where will I find him?

Well, I don't know. He
travels all over the state.

Peddles stuff from his car.
Gets by here now and then.

I'll be back,

time he comes again.

Any of you men tells this
Fratus I want to see him,

you'll have to answer to me.

Thank you, boys.
Come in again now.

He gives me the creeps, he just sits
there all day long, all the time.

Here's a cold one
for you, Mr. Pine.

On me.

Howdy, Ed. Back again, huh?

Where do you think I am,
Schenectady, New York?

Here's Ed Fratus, boys.

Well, I got some
new stuff this time.

I'll bet it goes better than those key rings
I gave you the last time you took 'em.

- Did you get rid of all of them?
- Yes.

Sort of been
waitin' for you, Ed.

Now we got him, Sam.
I want to beat his head in.

Look, we agreed
to do like Pa said.

How much you going to leave him?

All he'll have left is what's in
the carburetor and fuel line.

That won't get him more
than two, three miles.

We'll go back to the truck
now and wait for Pa.

Oh, like I been saying, Ed.

With the weather
and everything,

business just ain't
been too good.

Now, listen, Ben, this new line
I've been showing you is hot stuff.

I don't question that,

but my customers work
hard for their money

and they spend it slow.

Bunch of nickel-squeezing oafs!


But let's just
leave it that way, huh?

Just business, Ben,
just business.

It costs me time and money
to come by here, you know.

I got to do business
to make it worth my while.

You drop by next week, huh?

Say, wait a minute, Ed.

I've been thinking about trading
this in on a new model.

Got any new ones?

What's the matter?

Out of gas. How'd that happen?

I don't know. I had the tank
filled up over in Prentisville.

The dirty crooks charged
me for a full tank.

Probably just half-filled it.

Well, so happens I got a drum
at my place, just west of here.

I'll pay you for it.

Clay, you get in
the car with the man.

We'll push you.

One of my boys will fill your tank, Mister.
Come on in the kitchen.

All right.

Sit down there and
have a little something.


Hold on!

It's all right.

I told you a dozen times not to
put the liquor on that shelf.

Sorry, Pa.

A fellow from the Agricultural
Extension Service,

he brought me a jug of poison
to try out on my musk melons.

Ought to be able
to tell the difference.

It don't have no taste
or smell to it.

If a fellow were to drink it
accidentally, he'd be dead in an hour,

if he didn't get to a doctor.

All right, Pa.
I'll take it out to the barn.

See you do, or put the
liquor somewhere else.

I filled the tank up, Pa.
The motor started fine.

Well, what do I owe you?
For the gas.

You don't owe me anything.
Nothing at all, Mister...


Ed Fratus.

Fratus. I'm Sam Pine.
These two boys are my sons.

This is young Sam.
This is Clay.

Up to a week ago, there
was another boy, Davy.

He was killed. That's too bad.
What happened?

Bull gored him.

How awful.

I'd better take a walk and
see what's wrong with him.

Would you like to see
the bull, Mr. Fratus?

Uh-uh, not me. You ain't
going to get me out there.

All right, Clay, you go out
and see he's chained up good.

You look warm. Have some more of
this, it'll cool you down a bit.

You ought to get
rid of that bull.

Well, I did think some of
putting a shotgun to him,

but it wouldn't have
brought Davy back.

Besides, it wasn't really
the bull that killed him.

Oh, it wasn't? What was it?

It was a hog.

A hog? Kind of hog.

You see, Davy was alive when we
pulled him away from the bull.

He was hurt real bad,
but he was alive.

We put him in the truck and
started for Charles Creek.

A doctor could've saved him
from bleeding to death.

Oh, what happened then?

We came on a man
in a station wagon.

A station wagon
with a broken tail lamp.

Clay signaled with the horn,

but the man wouldn't
move over and let us pass.

Well, I got to be
getting along.

Hear me out, Fratus.

He wouldn't pull over,
he even slowed down.

And all the time,
Davy was bleeding to death.

Clay's a good driver,
he tried to pass,

but the man
run us off the road,


into a ditch.

You know all about it,
don't you, Fratus?

You don't know it was me.

Yes, I do.

You've proved it.

What are you going to do?

Well, you got no right...

I'm gonna get out of here and
don't you try to stop me, either.

How many drinks did you have?

You did poison me.

You're not going to
get away with it!

You said it'd be an hour.
I'll get to a doctor.

The poison won't
work for an hour!

I can get to Charles Creek!

I can get there in an hour!

You're not going to
get away with it!

Hey, get that heap to one
side and let me pass.

Howdy, Mr. Fratus.
Real nice day.

Yes, sir. Real nice day.

You out for a ride, Mr. Fratus?

Out of the way, I'm in a hurry!

Oh? Business, huh?

I got to get to Charles Creek.

I got all day, Mr. Fratus.

Look, son, just pull over.

About half a foot.

Nice day to be alive.

Like Pa says, most people
don't take time to enjoy it.

Don't stand there gabbing!

Let me by!

Well, that ain't
no way to talk.

I got to get to a doctor!

Move over, son.
Come on, be a good guy.

Look, I'll pay you!

I'll get by! You hear?

I'll get by if I have to
push you off the road!

I'll get to Charles Creek,
you clod-hopper!

Not you, or your father,
or nobody going to stop me!

There's been a sort of sad
accident down the road, Pa.

Seems Mr. Fratus up
and got himself killed.

He was driving
to Charles Creek.

Never did figure him
as much of a driver.

You mustn't speak disrespectful
of the dead, Sam.

Any dead.

That was a right smart story you
made up about the County Agent, Pa.

'Specially as there
never was no poison.

Come to think of it, no sense
in wasting good liquor.

This concludes our entertainment
for this evening.

You'll be pleased to know that
I've solved my barbecue problem.

It involves burning down a barn
each time you want roast lamb.

It's even better
on those occasions

when I can get my guests
into the barn, too.

Next time, I shall return with another story.
Until then, good night.