Alfred Hitchcock Presents (1955–1962): Season 2, Episode 9 - Crack of Doom - full transcript
A no-limit game of poker brings a real estate man to the brink of ruin.
Oh, good evening, onlookers.
I seem to be stuck. I don't suppose
you see a place for a red seven.
No, of course not.
This program isn't in color.
That's right. You can't
distinguish colors, can you?
There's nothing
to winning, really.
That is, if you happen
to be blessed with a keen eye,
an agile mind
and no scruples whatsoever.
Tonight's play is called
"The Crack of Doom. "
As the title suggests,
"The Crack of Doom" is a story
about Mason Bridges,
his wife, Jessie,
his secretary, Della,
his friends, Tom Ackley
and Sam Clinker.
And it begins in the club car of
a New York-Chicago streamliner.
Can I get you a fresh one,
Mason?
No thanks.
Pass the word, boys.
What's up?
Compartment B, next car.
Anyone who can tell the difference
between an ace and a deuce is welcome.
I'm a purist.
Five card stud or nothing.
A lamb to the slaughter.
We'll need one more to make
a good seven-handed game.
What do you say, Mason?
No. Thanks,
but I don't play poker.
It's only a fifty cent limit.
I wouldn't care if it were a ten
cent limit or a one cent limit.
I don't play poker.
Oh, come on, Mason.
Be a good sport.
No, thank you!
What's eating him?
I don't know.
I've never seen Mason
act like that before.
In college he was always ready
to gamble on anything.
Well, come on.
Well, how'd you do?
Win a little, lose a little.
Say, what's this
sudden aversion to poker?
It isn't sudden.
Ignore the adjective then.
Poker nearly
ruined me once.
Huh?
I wouldn't go through that again
for anything you could name.
Sounds ominous.
Let's hear it.
Come on.
Well, you know me as an
honest man, right, Tom?
True.
Well, I am.
I always have been.
Except once.
Once, for a few hours
I was a thief.
Oh, come off it, Mason. I've known
you since you were in college.
That's... Good heavens,
that must be...
Thirteen years.
But there was a time in there of about
five years when we never saw each other.
Look, maybe you'd rather not
tell me about it, hmm?
No.
No, maybe my experience will throw a
little light on some other poor sinner.
Even you.
Well, let's see.
It all began a couple of years
after graduation.
I'd settled in Clifford Hills.
In those days, I was in real estate
investments with three partners.
I was the inside man,
the office manager.
Sam Clinker is here
for the Whitman property.
Well, business is business.
Oh, Mr. Whitman phoned
a few minutes ago.
He won't be able
to keep the appointment.
He'd like to make it
for 10:00 tomorrow instead.
It's all right with me if it's all
right with Clinker. Ask him to come in.
Will you come in,
Mr. Clinker?
Afternoon, Sam.
Mason.
Am I early?
Whitman just phoned.
He's been detained.
He'd like to make it the
first thing in the morning.
The way you fellows operate out here, I
don't see how you ever do any business.
Well, this isn't
Wall Street, Sam.
We like
the slower tempo.
Yes, so I've noticed.
Even in your poker games.
We don't bull the game,
if that's what you mean.
Well, tonight we're going to
eliminate the ribbon clerks.
My place. 8:00.
Table stakes. No limit.
Bother you, Mason?
Not really.
But I don't like what's happening
to something that started out
a couple of years ago as a friendly
little game among neighbors.
Mason, friendship ceases
when the first card is dealt.
Maybe so.
But at least nobody got hurt.
This no-limit stuff
of yours is brutal.
Everybody gets five cards.
But you've got
a bigger bank roll, Sam.
The weight of your money
wins for you.
So I'm a bad poker player?
I didn't say that!
I merely said you have a terrific advantage
over anyone who has to hedge a bet.
Of course,
if you can't afford it...
If I couldn't afford it,
I wouldn't sit in.
Fine. I'll reserve
a seat for you.
No, not tonight.
Tonight may be your night.
The bank's closed. Would you keep
this money in the safe for Whitman?
Oh, sure.
There's $10,000 even.
I'll give you
a receipt for it.
No, never mind.
I trust you, Mason.
You're an honest man.
See you at 8:00.
You need a change of luck,
Mason. Cut yourself a winner.
Ace is good for $10.
I'll stay.
Worth another card.
I'll stay.
Try it once.
I'm out. Not me.
Ace, jack.
A hundred.
That's too rich
for my blood.
I'm anemic.
A hundred to you, Mason.
I'll go along.
Fives.
Your tens, your jacks.
Two pair.
Cost you $200, Mason.
I'll see you.
Full up.
Aces over jacks.
Beats me.
Well, that's it.
I'm clean.
You can give this
to the janitor.
Mason.
Yeah?
If you get a new bank roll,
come on back.
Sure.
We'll be here for hours.
Yeah,
the night's still young.
And the cards
are terrible.
Okay, pal,
you won the deal.
I had lost
nearly $1,000.
But the queer vanity
of the poker player
kept telling me
I could get Clinker,
if I just had a new bankroll.
So I headed for the office.
I did have money in the bank.
My wife and I, that is.
Nine thousand dollars.
But the bank was closed till morning
and I had to get back into that game.
I had to wipe the smile
off Clinker's face.
Subconsciously
I may have known
that what I intended doing
wasn't honest,
but, actually, at the time
it didn't worry me.
You see, it was
common practice in our office
to take whatever cash
we needed
and leave a note
or a personal IOU
which we always made good
within a day or two.
So I helped myself to $4,000
of Sam Clinker's money.
Tom, I didn't feel
a bit dishonest
because, you see,
I had $9,000 in the bank.
As a matter of fact, I was
kind of amused at the idea
of using Clinker's money
to win back some of mine.
Well, you can guess
what happened.
You lost. In an hour.
You couldn't believe the
bad run of luck that I had.
I'd been playing
with scared money
and there still wasn't enough
to buck Clinker's bankroll.
As I recall, I left there with
a certain sense of relief.
I'd learned my lesson
and in the morning I'd draw
$4,000 out of the bank.
Thank havens
for that savings account.
I must have said that
a dozen times on the way home.
In between wondering how you were
gonna explain it to your wife.
I kept telling myself she'd be
a good sport about it.
Jessie. Jessie, wake up.
It's important.
I've got to talk to you.
What?
I've got to have some money the first thing
in the morning as soon as the bank opens.
You've gotta have what?
I've gotta have money, $4,000.
But the account's been cleaned out.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry.
Jessie, what's the matter?
I don't know how to tell you.
I tried so many times.
Please don't be angry with me.
Listen to me, Jessie.
Where is that money?
I didn't know how to tell you.
I... I tried!
Tell me now.
Tell me now!
I got a tip
on the stock market.
One of the girls
doubled her money in a month.
So I invested half of our
savings in an oil company.
I though it would be such a
wonderful surprise for you.
When they struck oil, we could have used
the money to build our house right away.
I understand.
You said you invested
half the money.
What did you do
with the rest of it?
Please don't be angry. They didn't
find oil, they had to drill deeper.
I couldn't stop then. I had to
invest the rest of the money.
The whole $9,000?
Yes.
I've ruined us, haven't I?
If we're ruined
it's my doing, not yours.
Whatever happens,
it's my fault.
No.
No, it's my fault
because I didn't tell you.
That's the wrong part of it.
Now, look.
Look, you just take it easy and
everything's gonna be all right.
Everything's gonna
be all right, Jessie.
Now, come on.
Come on, lie down.
Come on.
Come on. Come on.
I'll work something out.
I went home that night knowing that
I was a fool, but an honest fool.
But I left a thief.
Seems to me that's a
question of ethics. Hmm?
Well, you said it was standard office
procedure to leave IOU's for cash.
Not strictly business-like, but the
principle of the thing wasn't dishonest.
Oh, but that's the trouble
with gambling, Tom.
It leaves you
in kind of a moral fog.
You can't distinguish
the finer points of honor.
When I thought I had the
money, I wasn't a crook.
But the moment I learned
I didn't have it, I was.
But it was only $4,000. You
could have borrowed that much.
Yes, my partners, I think, would have
stood by me for the sake of the firm.
But everybody would have found
out. I'd have been disgraced,
I'd have had to start
all over again.
I went back
to my office.
I don't know how long I sat
there trying to figure a way out,
thinking of Jessie,
and what it would be like
beginning again at the bottom.
Then my thoughts
took a different turn.
Since I was already a thief,
why not go all the way?
With the rest of Clinker's money,
I might win back everything.
If I lost...
But a thief never believes he's going
to get caught or he wouldn't be a thief.
I had been a crook for only an hour or
two, but already I was thinking like one.
Cash me in.
Boys, we've got company again.
Deal me in.
What are you gonna use
for money?
Six thousand dollars.
Brand new bills.
That's right.
I hope you've kept a record of the
serial numbers, Mason. I always do.
Just to be safe.
Go ahead, deal.
He was laying it
right on the line.
If I didn't produce his $10,000 in
the morning, he'd prove me a thief.
Well, we never had
liked each other.
And he'd jump at the chance
to send me to jail.
I know the type.
Well, we started to play.
There wasn't any of the usual banter.
No one spoke except to name their bets.
The game went on for hours.
When I'd play recklessly I'd do pretty
good and I'd begin to win, you know?
And then I'd...
I'd begin thinking
about going to jail,
and I'd pull in and play
conservatively and I'd lose.
And then it came.
The hand I'd been waiting for.
The hand that would save me.
Pair of tens, pair of queens and a king.
Queens bet.
Pair of queens, bet.
Three
and
two is 500.
No place for an orphan.
Just you and me, Mason.
Five...
Raise you five.
Five hundred.
Last card, gentlemen.
Three tens.
A third lady.
Your bet, Mason.
Three queens, bet.
Three queens bet a thousand.
Thousand and I'll raise you
a five, ten...
Fifteen hundred.
See your raise
and bump you $2,000.
For heaven's sake, Mason!
Wait a minute.
You know, of course,
I've got four tens.
I don't know anything
of the kind, Clinker.
I think you're trying
to steal the pot
with three tens
and a fat bankroll.
The way you've been trying to steal
good pots for the last six months.
You're bluffing, Mason.
I don't think you've got
a queen in the hole.
Are you expressing an opinion,
or making a bet?
Two thousand.
And raise you two.
Table stakes.
That's right.
Mason's all in.
No house rules?
No house rules.
Can you get some more money?
You'll take a check?
Sure. Go ahead.
Don't be a fool, Mason. You
haven't got that kind of money!
The man knows what he's doing.
He wouldn't be fool enough to
try to pass a worthless check.
You can go to jail for that.
Don't worry about me.
I'll see your $2,000
and I'll raise you three.
It begins to look as if you
really do have four queens.
It'll cost you exactly $3,000
to take a look
at my hole card.
It wasn't a queen.
It was a jack.
The jack of spades,
to be exact.
I'd misread my hole card.
I'd been playing it for a
queen, but it was a jack.
And Clinker had four tens.
Oh, he had them,
all right.
And four tens
beats three queens.
I was ruined.
In moments like that, Tom, your
whole life doesn't flash by you.
You just stop thinking
altogether.
I'll bet
Clinker was loving it.
I couldn't say.
I sat there with a dead spine
holding up a dead head
and waited for
the crack of doom.
Your bet, Sam.
Three thousand.
No sense throwing good money
after bad.
Looks like
you got them, kid.
Your pot.
I gotta take a look
at that card.
Jack. He was bluffing.
Mason,
you stole that pot!
Shut up!
I'll bet that's not the
first thing you stole tonight.
You'll never know, Clinker.
I need a drink.
Join me?
No, thanks.
Porter, refill here.
My bluff had worked because
I didn't know I was bluffing.
I wouldn't have had the nerve
if I had known.
Who would?
The irony of it was that I got involved
by not knowing in the first place.
Thought I had $9,000
in the bank and I didn't.
I thought I had four queens
and one was a jack.
Two mistakes in the same night
and they canceled each other out.
You know, for a while, you know
those years we didn't see each other,
I thought you meant
that you'd... Prison?
No.
But I don't think going to prison could
have driven the point home any harder.
I got a reprieve.
And I decided right then and
there that I'd never gamble again.
And that's why I wouldn't join
you, even in a game of penny ante.
It's getting kind of late.
I think I'll turn in.
Good night, Tom.
Good night, Mason.
Porter, bring me
one of those, too, will you?
Bet you
for the drinks, Tom.
Not on your life, brother!
I hope you weren't displeased by the
lack of bloodshed in tonight's story.
It's impossible for us
to stage a murder every night.
We're running out of victims.
Of course, we could
replenish our supply
by changing this into an
audience-participation show.
However,
for the present, at least,
I think we'll muddle along
the old way.
That's all for tonight.
Next time I appear, we shall
have another story to tell you.
And I hope you'll allow us
to come into your living room.
It's terribly stuffy, closed
up in this dusty television set.
Good night.
I seem to be stuck. I don't suppose
you see a place for a red seven.
No, of course not.
This program isn't in color.
That's right. You can't
distinguish colors, can you?
There's nothing
to winning, really.
That is, if you happen
to be blessed with a keen eye,
an agile mind
and no scruples whatsoever.
Tonight's play is called
"The Crack of Doom. "
As the title suggests,
"The Crack of Doom" is a story
about Mason Bridges,
his wife, Jessie,
his secretary, Della,
his friends, Tom Ackley
and Sam Clinker.
And it begins in the club car of
a New York-Chicago streamliner.
Can I get you a fresh one,
Mason?
No thanks.
Pass the word, boys.
What's up?
Compartment B, next car.
Anyone who can tell the difference
between an ace and a deuce is welcome.
I'm a purist.
Five card stud or nothing.
A lamb to the slaughter.
We'll need one more to make
a good seven-handed game.
What do you say, Mason?
No. Thanks,
but I don't play poker.
It's only a fifty cent limit.
I wouldn't care if it were a ten
cent limit or a one cent limit.
I don't play poker.
Oh, come on, Mason.
Be a good sport.
No, thank you!
What's eating him?
I don't know.
I've never seen Mason
act like that before.
In college he was always ready
to gamble on anything.
Well, come on.
Well, how'd you do?
Win a little, lose a little.
Say, what's this
sudden aversion to poker?
It isn't sudden.
Ignore the adjective then.
Poker nearly
ruined me once.
Huh?
I wouldn't go through that again
for anything you could name.
Sounds ominous.
Let's hear it.
Come on.
Well, you know me as an
honest man, right, Tom?
True.
Well, I am.
I always have been.
Except once.
Once, for a few hours
I was a thief.
Oh, come off it, Mason. I've known
you since you were in college.
That's... Good heavens,
that must be...
Thirteen years.
But there was a time in there of about
five years when we never saw each other.
Look, maybe you'd rather not
tell me about it, hmm?
No.
No, maybe my experience will throw a
little light on some other poor sinner.
Even you.
Well, let's see.
It all began a couple of years
after graduation.
I'd settled in Clifford Hills.
In those days, I was in real estate
investments with three partners.
I was the inside man,
the office manager.
Sam Clinker is here
for the Whitman property.
Well, business is business.
Oh, Mr. Whitman phoned
a few minutes ago.
He won't be able
to keep the appointment.
He'd like to make it
for 10:00 tomorrow instead.
It's all right with me if it's all
right with Clinker. Ask him to come in.
Will you come in,
Mr. Clinker?
Afternoon, Sam.
Mason.
Am I early?
Whitman just phoned.
He's been detained.
He'd like to make it the
first thing in the morning.
The way you fellows operate out here, I
don't see how you ever do any business.
Well, this isn't
Wall Street, Sam.
We like
the slower tempo.
Yes, so I've noticed.
Even in your poker games.
We don't bull the game,
if that's what you mean.
Well, tonight we're going to
eliminate the ribbon clerks.
My place. 8:00.
Table stakes. No limit.
Bother you, Mason?
Not really.
But I don't like what's happening
to something that started out
a couple of years ago as a friendly
little game among neighbors.
Mason, friendship ceases
when the first card is dealt.
Maybe so.
But at least nobody got hurt.
This no-limit stuff
of yours is brutal.
Everybody gets five cards.
But you've got
a bigger bank roll, Sam.
The weight of your money
wins for you.
So I'm a bad poker player?
I didn't say that!
I merely said you have a terrific advantage
over anyone who has to hedge a bet.
Of course,
if you can't afford it...
If I couldn't afford it,
I wouldn't sit in.
Fine. I'll reserve
a seat for you.
No, not tonight.
Tonight may be your night.
The bank's closed. Would you keep
this money in the safe for Whitman?
Oh, sure.
There's $10,000 even.
I'll give you
a receipt for it.
No, never mind.
I trust you, Mason.
You're an honest man.
See you at 8:00.
You need a change of luck,
Mason. Cut yourself a winner.
Ace is good for $10.
I'll stay.
Worth another card.
I'll stay.
Try it once.
I'm out. Not me.
Ace, jack.
A hundred.
That's too rich
for my blood.
I'm anemic.
A hundred to you, Mason.
I'll go along.
Fives.
Your tens, your jacks.
Two pair.
Cost you $200, Mason.
I'll see you.
Full up.
Aces over jacks.
Beats me.
Well, that's it.
I'm clean.
You can give this
to the janitor.
Mason.
Yeah?
If you get a new bank roll,
come on back.
Sure.
We'll be here for hours.
Yeah,
the night's still young.
And the cards
are terrible.
Okay, pal,
you won the deal.
I had lost
nearly $1,000.
But the queer vanity
of the poker player
kept telling me
I could get Clinker,
if I just had a new bankroll.
So I headed for the office.
I did have money in the bank.
My wife and I, that is.
Nine thousand dollars.
But the bank was closed till morning
and I had to get back into that game.
I had to wipe the smile
off Clinker's face.
Subconsciously
I may have known
that what I intended doing
wasn't honest,
but, actually, at the time
it didn't worry me.
You see, it was
common practice in our office
to take whatever cash
we needed
and leave a note
or a personal IOU
which we always made good
within a day or two.
So I helped myself to $4,000
of Sam Clinker's money.
Tom, I didn't feel
a bit dishonest
because, you see,
I had $9,000 in the bank.
As a matter of fact, I was
kind of amused at the idea
of using Clinker's money
to win back some of mine.
Well, you can guess
what happened.
You lost. In an hour.
You couldn't believe the
bad run of luck that I had.
I'd been playing
with scared money
and there still wasn't enough
to buck Clinker's bankroll.
As I recall, I left there with
a certain sense of relief.
I'd learned my lesson
and in the morning I'd draw
$4,000 out of the bank.
Thank havens
for that savings account.
I must have said that
a dozen times on the way home.
In between wondering how you were
gonna explain it to your wife.
I kept telling myself she'd be
a good sport about it.
Jessie. Jessie, wake up.
It's important.
I've got to talk to you.
What?
I've got to have some money the first thing
in the morning as soon as the bank opens.
You've gotta have what?
I've gotta have money, $4,000.
But the account's been cleaned out.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry.
Jessie, what's the matter?
I don't know how to tell you.
I tried so many times.
Please don't be angry with me.
Listen to me, Jessie.
Where is that money?
I didn't know how to tell you.
I... I tried!
Tell me now.
Tell me now!
I got a tip
on the stock market.
One of the girls
doubled her money in a month.
So I invested half of our
savings in an oil company.
I though it would be such a
wonderful surprise for you.
When they struck oil, we could have used
the money to build our house right away.
I understand.
You said you invested
half the money.
What did you do
with the rest of it?
Please don't be angry. They didn't
find oil, they had to drill deeper.
I couldn't stop then. I had to
invest the rest of the money.
The whole $9,000?
Yes.
I've ruined us, haven't I?
If we're ruined
it's my doing, not yours.
Whatever happens,
it's my fault.
No.
No, it's my fault
because I didn't tell you.
That's the wrong part of it.
Now, look.
Look, you just take it easy and
everything's gonna be all right.
Everything's gonna
be all right, Jessie.
Now, come on.
Come on, lie down.
Come on.
Come on. Come on.
I'll work something out.
I went home that night knowing that
I was a fool, but an honest fool.
But I left a thief.
Seems to me that's a
question of ethics. Hmm?
Well, you said it was standard office
procedure to leave IOU's for cash.
Not strictly business-like, but the
principle of the thing wasn't dishonest.
Oh, but that's the trouble
with gambling, Tom.
It leaves you
in kind of a moral fog.
You can't distinguish
the finer points of honor.
When I thought I had the
money, I wasn't a crook.
But the moment I learned
I didn't have it, I was.
But it was only $4,000. You
could have borrowed that much.
Yes, my partners, I think, would have
stood by me for the sake of the firm.
But everybody would have found
out. I'd have been disgraced,
I'd have had to start
all over again.
I went back
to my office.
I don't know how long I sat
there trying to figure a way out,
thinking of Jessie,
and what it would be like
beginning again at the bottom.
Then my thoughts
took a different turn.
Since I was already a thief,
why not go all the way?
With the rest of Clinker's money,
I might win back everything.
If I lost...
But a thief never believes he's going
to get caught or he wouldn't be a thief.
I had been a crook for only an hour or
two, but already I was thinking like one.
Cash me in.
Boys, we've got company again.
Deal me in.
What are you gonna use
for money?
Six thousand dollars.
Brand new bills.
That's right.
I hope you've kept a record of the
serial numbers, Mason. I always do.
Just to be safe.
Go ahead, deal.
He was laying it
right on the line.
If I didn't produce his $10,000 in
the morning, he'd prove me a thief.
Well, we never had
liked each other.
And he'd jump at the chance
to send me to jail.
I know the type.
Well, we started to play.
There wasn't any of the usual banter.
No one spoke except to name their bets.
The game went on for hours.
When I'd play recklessly I'd do pretty
good and I'd begin to win, you know?
And then I'd...
I'd begin thinking
about going to jail,
and I'd pull in and play
conservatively and I'd lose.
And then it came.
The hand I'd been waiting for.
The hand that would save me.
Pair of tens, pair of queens and a king.
Queens bet.
Pair of queens, bet.
Three
and
two is 500.
No place for an orphan.
Just you and me, Mason.
Five...
Raise you five.
Five hundred.
Last card, gentlemen.
Three tens.
A third lady.
Your bet, Mason.
Three queens, bet.
Three queens bet a thousand.
Thousand and I'll raise you
a five, ten...
Fifteen hundred.
See your raise
and bump you $2,000.
For heaven's sake, Mason!
Wait a minute.
You know, of course,
I've got four tens.
I don't know anything
of the kind, Clinker.
I think you're trying
to steal the pot
with three tens
and a fat bankroll.
The way you've been trying to steal
good pots for the last six months.
You're bluffing, Mason.
I don't think you've got
a queen in the hole.
Are you expressing an opinion,
or making a bet?
Two thousand.
And raise you two.
Table stakes.
That's right.
Mason's all in.
No house rules?
No house rules.
Can you get some more money?
You'll take a check?
Sure. Go ahead.
Don't be a fool, Mason. You
haven't got that kind of money!
The man knows what he's doing.
He wouldn't be fool enough to
try to pass a worthless check.
You can go to jail for that.
Don't worry about me.
I'll see your $2,000
and I'll raise you three.
It begins to look as if you
really do have four queens.
It'll cost you exactly $3,000
to take a look
at my hole card.
It wasn't a queen.
It was a jack.
The jack of spades,
to be exact.
I'd misread my hole card.
I'd been playing it for a
queen, but it was a jack.
And Clinker had four tens.
Oh, he had them,
all right.
And four tens
beats three queens.
I was ruined.
In moments like that, Tom, your
whole life doesn't flash by you.
You just stop thinking
altogether.
I'll bet
Clinker was loving it.
I couldn't say.
I sat there with a dead spine
holding up a dead head
and waited for
the crack of doom.
Your bet, Sam.
Three thousand.
No sense throwing good money
after bad.
Looks like
you got them, kid.
Your pot.
I gotta take a look
at that card.
Jack. He was bluffing.
Mason,
you stole that pot!
Shut up!
I'll bet that's not the
first thing you stole tonight.
You'll never know, Clinker.
I need a drink.
Join me?
No, thanks.
Porter, refill here.
My bluff had worked because
I didn't know I was bluffing.
I wouldn't have had the nerve
if I had known.
Who would?
The irony of it was that I got involved
by not knowing in the first place.
Thought I had $9,000
in the bank and I didn't.
I thought I had four queens
and one was a jack.
Two mistakes in the same night
and they canceled each other out.
You know, for a while, you know
those years we didn't see each other,
I thought you meant
that you'd... Prison?
No.
But I don't think going to prison could
have driven the point home any harder.
I got a reprieve.
And I decided right then and
there that I'd never gamble again.
And that's why I wouldn't join
you, even in a game of penny ante.
It's getting kind of late.
I think I'll turn in.
Good night, Tom.
Good night, Mason.
Porter, bring me
one of those, too, will you?
Bet you
for the drinks, Tom.
Not on your life, brother!
I hope you weren't displeased by the
lack of bloodshed in tonight's story.
It's impossible for us
to stage a murder every night.
We're running out of victims.
Of course, we could
replenish our supply
by changing this into an
audience-participation show.
However,
for the present, at least,
I think we'll muddle along
the old way.
That's all for tonight.
Next time I appear, we shall
have another story to tell you.
And I hope you'll allow us
to come into your living room.
It's terribly stuffy, closed
up in this dusty television set.
Good night.