Agatha Raisin (2014–…): Season 4, Episode 2 - Love, Lies and Liquor - full transcript
James has finally returned to Carsely and promised to whisk Agatha away on holiday where she can help him write his next novel. When a hotel guest is found murdered, it's up to Agatha to prove who the killer is.
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Well, howdy, stranger.
There is something
different about you,
and I just can't
put my finger on it.
So, uh, is it a high five
then, or do I get a hug?
Of course, sorry. I'm
still slightly jet lagged.
Oh!
That's better.
I'm not entirely sure
about your hat, though.
I can't have you upstaging me.
So, what's with
the old lady car?
Uh, courtesy car.
Mine's being fixed.
Ah.
- Hey!
- Hi!
How are you?
Fairly average for a
Wednesday, to be honest.
Congratulations again on the
book tour's runaway success.
Thanks. Still
somewhat astonished.
Who knew that the
yanks would be so into.
The Battle of Titley's Knob.
Uh, what's with
the old lady car?
I thought you'd be
in a stretch limo
now you're a big
deal in America.
Afraid I'm not quite
in that league.
Is that for a week?
Well, I had to pack for
every eventuality, didn't I?
Seeing as you refused to tell
me where it is that we're going.
Nice try.
But as I said on the
phone, it's by the sea,
and it's the most
beautiful resort ever.
Oh, oh, oh.
Remember this is work.
You're just doing the
PR for his new book.
Yes, yes, yes,
yes, yes, yes, yes.
You got a dead body in here?
Not yet, but there is time.
- Yes.
- Ooh.
Yeah, we might have
to take Marilyn.
This is more of a city car.
- Good idea.
- But I'll drive.
So it's still a surprise.
I shall get the keys.
See you later.
See ya.
Oh.
We near the airport yet?
Not going to an airport.
Oh, traveling by boat, are we?
You'll see.
Be there in no time.
Hey!
They've added
"Full Metal Jacket"
and "Platoon."
I'm thinking double bill...
Snoth-on-Sea?!
I came here many times as a boy.
It's gorgeous. You'll love it.
I thought this book was
supposed to be about
the Napoleonic
Wars or such like.
I was rather hoping
for Mauritius.
Ah, yes, those
islands were indeed
a key part of the conflict.
But Snoth has its own
fascinating links.
Not least, buried treasure.
Gold brought back
from Buenos Aires by.
Admiral Lloyd Snoth after
the ill-conceived occupation
of the Spanish River Plate.
Some say that there
are rumors of him
roaming the town in
reincarnated form,
guarding over his
precious doubloons.
Or at the very least to Belgium!
Okay, so perhaps
it was a mistake
keeping the destination
as a surprise.
Oh, ignore me.
I'm sure the hotel is charming.
Come on, let's get in.
That's the spirit.
Roy-boy is back with
a freshly wet...
Oh, sorry.
And, uh, gross.
Netflix and chill was it?
Am I really the only one
who doesn't know
that's what it means?
Unh-unh, there is someone else.
No, it's just you.
Are you, staying the
week, are you, Roy?
Absolutely!
Oh, I've got it.
Netflix and Bill.
Get dressed, put "Drag
Race" on, and open a window.
It absolutely stinks in here.
Not what you expected then?
It just seems smaller.
Not quite as glamorous
as when I was here last.
Smaller?
Oh, well, I suppose you
are a big boy now, James.
Oh, oh.
Sorry about all this.
Um, welcome to The Palace Hotel.
We would like to check-in.
I think.
Of course. What name is
the reservation under?
James Lacey and Agatha Raisin.
Uh, two rooms, please, Harry.
This is a work thing.
Sure. Have you stayed
with us before?
I have. But not for some time.
I have to say The
Palace is looking
a little more faded
than last time.
Right.
What's with the
protestors outside?
Oh, that's just some
locals making a mountain
out of a molehill.
Uh, now I'll need a card for
incidentals, if that's okay.
Ooh, buzzing in here!
Yeah, it was touch
and go if we'd get a table.
You look lovely.
Room all right?
Uh, yes.
Like you, it has a
certain old school charm.
Glad to hear it. G&T?
Always.
A gin and tonic please.
Certainly, sir.
Not sure about this
seafood supreme.
You're playing Russian
roulette there, Chelsea.
One bad prawn, and
all bets is off.
Oh, excuse me. A bottle
of dry white, please.
Was the
paella that ruined
my last trip to Costa Brava.
It's an emergency.
Yeah, I did!
Maybe you're seafood
intolerant, love.
Oh, don't talk nonsense, Brian.
Seafood intolerant my arse!
Nothing's that funny.
Apparently, it is.
I was brought up on
cockles and whelks.
Ate 'em by the bucket load.
I bet you were!
Why don't you mind your own
business, you stuck up bitch!
Oh, I would love to,
so if you could
stop broadcasting
your entire conversation,
that would be great.
Agatha.
Oh, where do you think you
are, the Sistine Chapel?
Just cause you two ain't
got nothing else to say
to each other,
don't mean we don't!
I hate to inform you,
but being a loudmouth
and actually having
something to say
are two entirely
different things.
Agatha, just ignore her.
I'm not having it.
- Go on, Wayne.
- Go on, tell her.
Go on, Wayne.
You need to teach your
misses some manners.
Please go away.
Come on then, Billy Bigshot.
Outside, you and me, right now.
- Don't be ridiculous.
- Fine!
I'll fight you in here then.
- Yeah! Go on!
- Show him, Wayne.
Be right back.
Come on.
- Go on, Wayne.
- Go on. Give him some!
Go on, Wayne, give
him one from me.
Aw, eating all
alone now, are we?
Serves you right for looking
down your nose at me,
you snobby cow!
What exactly is your problem?!
And if you touch me
again, you will regret it.
Are you threatening me?!
Yes, yes, I am. So back off!
- Come on then.
- Ooh!
Ladies, please!
This is The Palace!
Relax, Marcia.
I'm just making a
new holiday pal.
Everything's peachy.
Okay.
Seems like this whole fighting
thing isn't really your forte?
Shall we call it a night
before you do yourself
a serious injury?
That family are
a complete nightmare.
Believe it or not,
Mr. and Mrs. Jankers
are on their honeymoon.
- Hasn't stopped them from
upsetting loads of other
guests and the locals
who use the bar, though.
Well, do you know
the woman personally?
No.
Can't you do
something about them?
The night they arrived,
Mrs. Jankers' son behaved
so badly the police were called.
But our local plod
wouldn't get involved.
Wasn't serious
enough apparently.
Well, how long are they staying?
Until the day after tomorrow.
Oh!
In the meantime, we
will comp your rooms.
- Oh.
- Thank you.
You're welcome.
Quite frankly, it's the
least they could do.
Shall we have dinner in town?
Yes, you read my mind.
Well... I shall
wager, another 60.
Match.
Too rich for me.
Okay, so, there's only
a 1 in 221 chance that
Roy or Charlie was
dealt pocket aces.
So?
But the odds of you guys
getting three of a kind
or a two pair on the
river are far better.
So?
And I reckon Charlie's
just done that.
- So?
- So I'm folding.
Thank you. Could've
said that sooner.
Let's see you then, Roy.
Hm.
Interesting.
However...
- Ah!
- Two pairs.
I knew he had something.
Hi, everyone.
- Hey!
- Hey!
Oh, it's looking pretty
even at the moment.
Except for Bill.
He's not much of a bluffer.
I'm getting better.
Read my face.
- Grab a seat, join the game.
- Oh, no.
Haven't played for ages.
I came to speak to Roy about
the Cotswolds Clean
Rivers crowd-funder.
- Much money coming in?
- Barely a trickle.
I need your media savvy
to give it a boost.
Consider it done.
Oh, come on, Sarah.
Live a little.
We could do with another
honest face at the table.
But if I join now,
it'll mess up your game.
Oh, it's only for
fun, but be warned,
Toni has learned all the poker
stats before we even started.
And she's learned them verbatim.
Okay. But I can't stay too long.
I've got an early
service in the morning.
Newbie deals.
Oh, I played a few hands at Uni.
Right, let's talk
strategies for the new book.
Stage one.
How you research.
Or we could just
have a nice dinner.
The two of us. No work.
Mm-hmm.
There she is again.
Fold!
But can you tell
me what you had?
What?! That is unholy, Vicar!
Remind me never to play
strip poker with you!
So, that clean
rivers crowd-funder?
- Yeah?
- Problem solved.
Ship you off to
Vegas, and ka-ching!
I can't play for real money.
The big man works
in mysterious ways.
Maybe he'd be Cool UK with it.
I suppose hitting the
high stakes poker tables
at Caesars Palace would
speed up the process a bit.
- Mm-hmm.
- Or, if you'd rather not fly,
you could always come
to my club in London,
help a few chinless wonders
fritter away their inheritance.
That's a very kind
offer, Charles.
But I don't think my
boss would approve.
Ooh!
No, no.
Beauty before brawn.
Flatterer.
I'm glad I skipped those triple
cooked duck fat chips now.
Why?
They'd of brought
us closer together.
That your old man, down there?
- No.
- Oh, not too late then, eh?
- Listen... oh...
- Oh.
- Ah, I got to go.
Mm. Me too.
Yeah, maybe I'll see you around.
At least the
restaurant wasn't bad.
I have to say, I rather
enjoyed the prawn cocktail.
And not even in an ironic way.
Oh!
Ooh. My scarf.
Think I must have
dropped it somewhere.
Any idea where?
Well, I did leave the hotel
dining room in rather a rush,
so, it could be...
- I'll go and check.
- Oh, no, no, no.
You might bump into
that awful family again,
even more drunk and
looking for trouble.
- Okay.
- Just leave it till the morning.
Probably wise.
So... what's on the
agenda for tomorrow then?
Oh, right. Yeah, the agenda.
Um, well, Snoth Castle ruins,
where I believe the
doubloons are buried.
Good optics for the PR release.
I'll get some action
shots of you... dig, dig.
You do dig, do you?
What?
Hm?
Night-night then.
Night.
Oh, sugar!
No more poker.
You have quit.
End of.
You know, life would
be so much simpler
if ruins had a post code.
Or we could use the Sat Nav.
There.
I think.
Taser! Taser! Taser!
Detective Inspector
Barret. Snoth CID.
Step away from the map.
I won't ask nicely again.
What the hell is going on here?
Which one of you
is Agatha Raisin?
- That'd be me.
- Really?
No! Not really!
Then we need a tete-à-tete.
Oh, a tete-a-tete?
Oh, sejours de quoi?
A propos de quoi?
Sur quoi?
What?
About what?
The murder of Geraldine Jankers.
Recognize this
scarf, Mrs. Raisin?
Yes.
It's mine.
I lost it.
How convenient.
When was that?
Yesterday evening.
What is it doing in an
evidence bag, Inspector?
Mrs. Jankers' body was
found on the beach,
strangled with the scarf you've
just identified as yours.
Well, I'd imagine it's
the most stylish thing
she's ever had around her neck.
Though I'm sure anyone
could've strangled her with it.
But only you were heard
threatening the victim
with violence, in the
dining room of this hotel,
shortly before her murder.
It's a door case, innit?
What?
Open and shut.
Come on, then.
Where were you between
midnight and 4:00 a.m.?
Asleep in my room.
And can your husband slash lover
slash whatever confirm this?
My slash colleague, James Lacey,
walked me to my
room at about 11:30.
And after that?
No alibi for the
rest of the night?
N-no.
Right.
You're under arrest,
which means, we're
going to Dingbridge.
What? Why Dingbridge?
Because since division
closed our cells in Snoth
that's where we take our
suspects, but I'm fine with it.
I see. And is it far?
About 30 minutes,
depending on traffic.
And if there's road
works, which there are,
especially on a cobbly bypass,
you can't even go
down the high street.
You said her body was
found on the beach.
Well, I only ever met the
woman once, very briefly.
And we took an instant
dislike to each other.
Your point is?
My point is, Inspector,
how, pray tell,
could I have persuaded
Mrs. Jankers to take a walk
with me on the beach in
the middle of the night?
Hmm?
Well, I'm assuming
that none of her family
mentioned that she was off for a
moonlit stroll along the sands.
Inspector...
I happen to run a
highly-respected
detective agency, and in
my professional opinion,
this case is anything but open,
and shut.
Now, I don't think either
of us want to go all the way
to Dingbridge only
to have to turn round
and come all the way back.
Think of the traffic.
Think of the road works.
Okay.
Further enquiries will be made.
But you're technically
on police bail.
Understood?
Understood.
And don't even dream
about leaving my town.
Why would I when I have
a murder to investigate?
What was she doing
down here, James?
Meeting someone?
A lover perhaps.
What? On her honeymoon?
Mrs. Jankers didn't strike
me as the sentimental sort.
True.
Oh.
Right.
Who are you calling?
Toni.
I think we need new faces to get
cozy with the deceased's family,
wiggle in and see what they
can find out about them.
An undercover operation.
Exactly.
Running alongside
my investigation.
But if you want to
focus on your book...
No, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no.
No, I can help you during the
day and then write at night.
Be just like old times.
I was rather hoping you
were going to say that.
It's when we're at
our best, James.
Working on a case together.
Watson to your Holmes.
I rather like that.
Oh.
I guess she left through
another door then,
if the sign's accurate.
We should go to
reception and see
who was on duty after midnight.
Why don't I go and
have a scout around
and see how many
other exits there are?
Good idea.
Oh, I'm sorry, Mrs. Raisin.
There's so much going on because
of the, um, tragic death.
And... but I'm glad you're here.
- You are?
- Oh, definitely.
The police mentioned that
you run a detective agency.
Indeed I do.
You knew Geraldine,
didn't you, Marcia?
Yes. Geraldine
was an old friend.
So why did you deny it
when I asked you before?
Because she called
me out of the blue,
wanting mate's rates,
and this idiot agreed.
And, well, you saw
how they behaved.
I did.
I was worried the hotel's
owners would find out
that I'd given them
a deal and blame me
for the trouble
they were causing.
The hotel's owners
want me to hire you
to find out who killed her.
Why not just let the
police deal with it?
They're keen to get out ahead
of the investigation to see
if there are any
liability issues
that might affect a sale
to Crescendo Casinos.
Oh, I see.
Right, well, I'll get my
office to whiz a contract over.
But firstly, I need a
list of all the guests
that are staying here and
who was on duty last night.
I have to ask.
Oh, sorry.
I'm meant to be wearing
it on a charity run.
I thought I'd better
try it on the treadmill
in the hotel gym first,
see if I overheat.
Terrible this business
with Mrs. Jankers.
Oh, yeah.
I was the one who found her.
Yeah, she was lying there,
scarf flapping in the wind.
It was...
What time was that?
Just after 6:00.
I was on my morning run.
Were you on
reception last night?
Uh-huh.
Did you see her leave the hotel?
No, but...
From 1:00 until about 5:00, I
was asleep in the back office.
Enjoy your picnic.
Here we go.
Right. Mm-hmm. Okay.
Is that man a guest?
No. He just uses the hotel gym.
Often?
Whenever he wants.
Mr. Miller's friendly
with the hotel's owners.
He's in and out day and night.
Hm.
You're not ignoring me, are you?
Oh, no, I was on the pho...
Hey, people will talk, though.
Let them!
I'm Agatha.
Oh, Terry Miller.
So, you enjoying your
stay at The Palace?
Well, it's been a bit of
a mixed bag, to be honest.
Yeah, I'm not surprised.
You're more of a Rodeo
Drive than Snoth-on-Sea, eh?
Oh, really? You think so?
- Yeah.
You should come back
in a couple of years,
you know, when
the casino's open.
Now that... That'll
be your scene.
Oh, so you're in favor
of turning this place
into a little piece
of Vegas, are you?
Oh, yeah, seeing as my firm
is doing all the building work
- on the project.
- Oh?
Oh.
Trouble?
Should I be worried?
No, no. No, it's my mum.
It's the name that
she used to give.
It just stuck, that's all, yeah.
Hmm.
Uh, might this murder
just hold things up a bit?
I don't see why.
Well, as long as
Friday's casino night
goes as planned then,
we're in business.
You should come along,
see Snoth's future.
- Oh.
- You could.
Oh.
Oh.
It's the architect.
He's at a house
that I'm converting,
asking me where am I.
Oh?
Well, consider yourself invited.
You bet.
Trouble!
You're joking.
They're still in there.
Harry Beam said that he locked
the beach door at 11:00 p.m.,
as usual.
He also said that there are
alarms on all of the fire exits,
so that if she left by one of
them, he'd have known about it.
So, the deceased
must have walked out
through the main entrance
and off to meet her fate.
Well, they've
nailed the uniform.
They certainly have.
Right, I think we should
go and have a talk
with Brian Jankers,
Geraldine's husband.
He was on the
terrace not long ago.
Service!
You're gross, Roy.
Just getting into character.
Right.
How's my accent?
Very good!
Wait, are we doing accents?
- Well, I thought it...
Alright, mate!
Not exactly Magaluf, is it?
I'll say.
No foam parties then.
Foam parties?
The bar shuts at half 10:00
unless you kick off about it.
You're havin' a laugh!
Here you are, mate.
I'll have a Pint of
Kronenbourg, yeah,
large Chardonnay, and
whatever this fella
and his misses is drinking.
That's decent of you, mate,
but we'll get our own.
I insist.
Just came into some
serious Emperor Ming.
Oy, Cyclops, packet of cheese
and onion, as well, yeah?
Agatha Raisin,
private detective.
The hotel have asked my
associate Mr. Lacey and myself
to investigate what happened
to your wife, Mr. Jankers.
You're the woman
who threatened her.
That was all a bit
of a misunderstanding
and a momentary loss
of my own dignity.
Stay away from me.
Agatha.
Maybe he needs some more time.
It's been like one of those
nightmare holiday shows.
Murdered on the beach.
It's hard to believe
it could happen to Mum.
And now the rozzers
want us to stay on at the hotel
till it's further
investigated or something.
That's just taking
the piiiiiiiiiiiiss.
All I want is to go home.
Course you do, Wayne.
Can never trust
the filth, right?
Mm. Here, here.
Bottoms up. I mean cheers!
So were you and
his mum close then?
Are you joking?
Geraldine was a
manipulative old tart!
She had Wayne wrapped
around her little finger.
Just like all the
other men in her life.
Really?
- Mm-hmm.
Must be awful for Wayne, though.
You know, losing
his mum at that age.
Yeah, poor Wayne.
Why here? Not
another fond memory, is it?
No. Don't want
to blow their cover.
Stay away from the hotel.
Nice to see a bit
of proper tradition!
Punch and Judy by the seaside.
Bring it on!
Oh, Roy, you smell
like a brewery.
It was quite a heavy
afternoon session.
They can really knock it back.
So what'd you learn?
Well, for starters,
Geraldine Jankers
has been married four times.
Good God! Hard enough to believe
she could get one man
to pop the question.
Well, her first, Wayne's
father, was killed 20 years ago
after a calibration error
at a canning factory
caused an explosion.
- What?
- I don't know.
She divorced husband
2, Ronnie Black,
after he was sent to prison.
Oh, prison. Now
that's interesting.
And then there was a short
marriage to an Archie...
Uh, Swale.
Swale. Archie Swale.
Who she traded in
for Brian Jankers
couple of months ago
after they met online.
It's bit of a
whirlwind romance then.
Here we go! Here
we go! Here we...
Oh, Roy! You don't need
to stay in character.
Look around.
There's no one here.
Sorry. I went a bit method.
According to Wayne,
the penultimate hubby,
Archie Swale, took the
breakup particularly badly,
and he only lives about 15
miles up the coast in Mudhaven.
Well, does anyone know
what this Ronnie Black did,
why he was in prison.
I mean, is he
still serving time?
- I don't know.
- Don't know.
Right. I'll phone Bill.
Our new mates invited
us to join them
and Brian Jankers for dinner.
Right, come on! Action stations!
Now, I need you two
to talk to Brian,
see what you can find out about
his wife and her final night.
Right, come along.
What are you doing?
That way! Go! Go!
Alright, alright.
- Don't follow us.
- Alright, alright.
They're following us.
- Ah!
- Hello, boys and girls.
- Have you been good?
- That way? Ah!
Roy!
Would you believe...
Are you sure about this?
Yes, absolutely.
Listen, we'll be back in Snoth
before anyone's
noticed we've gone.
Mr. Archie Swale?
Yes. What is it?
We've been asked to
investigate the death
of your ex-wife, Geraldine.
Well, that's got
nothing to do with me.
Oh, we just want to know
what kind of person she was.
That's all.
Oh.
Bad hip?
Shocking.
Waiting for a new one.
- Take a seat.
- Thank you.
So, where did you two meet?
On the train.
Geraldine sat next to me.
She was friendly,
she seemed kind.
And I fell for her.
As soon as we were
married, she changed.
I'd never met that son of hers,
not until the wedding day.
But within weeks, he
was living with us.
- Not what you had in mind.
- No!
Then Wayne stole a gold lighter
that belonged to my father,
plus some other valuable things.
Geraldine refused to believe it.
Hm, you should've
heard her scream at me
for accusing her precious boy.
She gave Wayne
everything, spoiled him,
but it was never enough.
That little shower
probably did her in.
And how did you
feel when she left?
Honestly?
Relieved.
Did she ever talk about her
second husband, Ronnie Black?
Never.
Actually, no.
Once, when she was
drunk New Year's Eve,
as we walked past some
very expensive looking.
Bond Street jeweler.
Can you remember what she said?
Well, something about the store
being right up her
ex-husband's street.
Oh? Well, what do you
think she meant by that?
That he was rich.
Bought her shiny things.
She loved money.
Ah.
So Geraldine never
mentioned to you
that Ronnie Black had
been in prison, then?
No, but that
doesn't surprise me.
Is this your Distinguished
Service Medal?
Which brigade?
Royal Marines.
I think we can safely
eliminate him from the list.
There is absolutely no way
that he could have strangled
that tough old boot.
Not with that bad hip
and her... figure.
Don't be so sure.
Once a Commando,
always a Commando.
They're lethal.
Even with a dodgy hip.
I made it clear as crystal meth
that you were not to leave town
whilst you remained a suspect.
Isn't crystal meth cloudy?
What makes you
think that she did?
We had a call from
a Mr. Archie Swale,
checking that you were
who you says you were.
So, you've gone and broken the
conditions of your police bail.
Well, I thought I was
only technically on bail.
Then you'll only technically be
fitted with this little beauty.
Janet.
You seriously don't
expect me to wear that
hideous looking thing, do you?
It's the Chav Nav or the
Chockie. Your choice.
Alright.
Get on with it then!
An actual sadist designed
this in order to be
as uncomfortable as possible.
Keys to our best suite. Yet
another cancelled booking.
Figure it'll make a good
center of operations
for you to work out of.
Thanks. That'll help.
It's Goldenballs
started it really.
Turning footballers
into models and...
How's your food, Mr. Jankers?
Beckham's got a
lot to answer for.
He was fit, though.
As in like
you know, athletic.
I love your necklace, Chelsea.
It's... it's well bling.
Aw, innit?
Wayne just gave it to me.
- Ow!
Well, obviously,
it's just costume.
Got things to take care
of. You coming, Brian?
I think I'll stay for pudding.
See you later, mate!
You're the big geezer!
What do you do for a
living then, Brian?
I own a small chain
of dress shops.
Oh?
Did your wife run them with you?
No, but,
um, I think the shops
were one of the reasons
she was attracted to me.
She was very fashion conscious.
Nice.
It's my fault, you know?
If I hadn't have taken
that sleeping pill,
I'd have heard Geraldine
go out, you know?
Might have even been
able to stop her.
Don't be so hard on yourself.
Where do you think she
was going that night?
I've been asking
myself that, love.
It's a mystery.
What will you do now?
Go back to work, once
the police let us leave.
Not tempted to
take some time off?
Can't afford it, lad.
The wedding and the
honeymoon weren't cheap.
On top of that, I
promised Geraldine
I'd pay Wayne and
Chelsea's bill.
Even after inheriting
his mother's estate,
I bet he won't chip in.
So, Brian Jankers wasn't
happy about Wayne inheriting,
which makes me think there
might be a decent amount.
Oh, do you think Wayne
might tell you how much?
Doubt it. I think I've blown
my cover and not in a good way.
Well, comments like that get
you blown in the first place,
so to speak.
If only it was that easy.
But hang on, he did say
something in the bar
about coming into
some "serious"...
- Emperor Ming?
- Emperor Ming.
- Bling.
- Bling.
Oh, did he now?
Wayne got super edgy when I
complimented Chelsea's necklace.
Yeah, and she made a
big deal about it being
costume jewelry.
But the way those
diamonds sparkled
makes me think
they're pretty legit.
I mean, I can't help but
wonder why she'd lie.
Do you remember what
Archie Swale said about
his ex wife outside the
jewelry shop on New Year's Eve.
Maybe Ronnie Black is a thief?
The smash and grab kind.
Maybe it's all connected.
Hey, you.
Hey.
Are you all right?
Oh, hi, everyone.
Sorry.
The dog's really sick.
The dog? Bill?
Have you heard anything
back from the prison service
about Ronnie Black?
Not yet.
I looked him up on the
PNC like you asked.
Turns out Mr. Black went
down for armed robbery.
Did he stick up a jewelry store?
Yeah. Carter's of
Chiswick in 2010.
I don't suppose you know
if any of this jewelry
was ever recovered, do you?
Hold on a minute, is
that my Naked Man statue?
Um, I do, and it wasn't, and...
Are you in my house, Bill?!
Oh, uh, the wifi
signal's cutting...
Bill!
Cut, cut, dropping.
Sorry, Agatha. Bye!
Come on, Bluey!
What if Geraldine was
holding on to the jewelry
for her jailbird ex.
Or simply knew its location,
and that was what
got her killed?
Yeah, but Chelsea let slip that
Wayne had only just
given her the necklace.
Maybe the necklace was
one of the stolen pieces.
Oh, I'd like to
see this necklace!
Well, I doubt Wayne's
gonna let her wear that out
in public for a while.
Mnh-mnh.
So, we break into their room
and photograph the necklace
and any other jewelry.
Then check to see if it matches
with what's been stolen.
An operation like that,
it'll need to be planned
with military precision.
Roy, get the floor plan.
Ooh, we could do it when
Wayne and Chelsea go down
for breakfast' cause it'd be
easy to keep an eye on her.
Good idea!
Pick your poison.
Agatha, you cover
the lobby stairs.
I'll watch the dining room.
Toni, find a cleaner
with a master key.
Roy runs interference.
Chelsea's cookies,
and Wayne's nuts.
Well, I see you've
fixed the wifi.
Uh, so the prison
service got back to me.
While serving his
original sentence,
Ronnie Black brutally
attacked two inmates,
causing them serious injuries.
But then, a fortnight
ago, he was released
years earlier than planned,
due to a terminal illness.
- Bill, I have to go.
- Is Toni okay?
Ooh, sorry.
I was just a bit peckish.
- Aggie!
- Psst! Here!
Right, we won't have
long until she finishes
the room and notices
it's missing.
Roy's gonna distract
her once she's done.
Try and buy us some more time.
Excellent teamwork.
Wayne's on his way back up!
Ah!
Wait, wait. Round the
corner, round the corner.
Sorry!
That didn't sound good.
No, It did not.
But I think we should
go and have a look.
What? No, no, no, no, no.
Or we could just
sort of stay here.
I've got biscuits.
Biscuits?! We're in the
middle of an emergency!
No, no, no, but, I'm
pretty sure the rule is
don't head towards any type of
screaming in creepy old hotels.
I'm pretty sure
the rule is we do.
Is... is that...
I think
he's probably dead.
I think we should
probably evacuate.
Roy!
Where's Agatha?
She's here.
She was right behind me.
---
Well, howdy, stranger.
There is something
different about you,
and I just can't
put my finger on it.
So, uh, is it a high five
then, or do I get a hug?
Of course, sorry. I'm
still slightly jet lagged.
Oh!
That's better.
I'm not entirely sure
about your hat, though.
I can't have you upstaging me.
So, what's with
the old lady car?
Uh, courtesy car.
Mine's being fixed.
Ah.
- Hey!
- Hi!
How are you?
Fairly average for a
Wednesday, to be honest.
Congratulations again on the
book tour's runaway success.
Thanks. Still
somewhat astonished.
Who knew that the
yanks would be so into.
The Battle of Titley's Knob.
Uh, what's with
the old lady car?
I thought you'd be
in a stretch limo
now you're a big
deal in America.
Afraid I'm not quite
in that league.
Is that for a week?
Well, I had to pack for
every eventuality, didn't I?
Seeing as you refused to tell
me where it is that we're going.
Nice try.
But as I said on the
phone, it's by the sea,
and it's the most
beautiful resort ever.
Oh, oh, oh.
Remember this is work.
You're just doing the
PR for his new book.
Yes, yes, yes,
yes, yes, yes, yes.
You got a dead body in here?
Not yet, but there is time.
- Yes.
- Ooh.
Yeah, we might have
to take Marilyn.
This is more of a city car.
- Good idea.
- But I'll drive.
So it's still a surprise.
I shall get the keys.
See you later.
See ya.
Oh.
We near the airport yet?
Not going to an airport.
Oh, traveling by boat, are we?
You'll see.
Be there in no time.
Hey!
They've added
"Full Metal Jacket"
and "Platoon."
I'm thinking double bill...
Snoth-on-Sea?!
I came here many times as a boy.
It's gorgeous. You'll love it.
I thought this book was
supposed to be about
the Napoleonic
Wars or such like.
I was rather hoping
for Mauritius.
Ah, yes, those
islands were indeed
a key part of the conflict.
But Snoth has its own
fascinating links.
Not least, buried treasure.
Gold brought back
from Buenos Aires by.
Admiral Lloyd Snoth after
the ill-conceived occupation
of the Spanish River Plate.
Some say that there
are rumors of him
roaming the town in
reincarnated form,
guarding over his
precious doubloons.
Or at the very least to Belgium!
Okay, so perhaps
it was a mistake
keeping the destination
as a surprise.
Oh, ignore me.
I'm sure the hotel is charming.
Come on, let's get in.
That's the spirit.
Roy-boy is back with
a freshly wet...
Oh, sorry.
And, uh, gross.
Netflix and chill was it?
Am I really the only one
who doesn't know
that's what it means?
Unh-unh, there is someone else.
No, it's just you.
Are you, staying the
week, are you, Roy?
Absolutely!
Oh, I've got it.
Netflix and Bill.
Get dressed, put "Drag
Race" on, and open a window.
It absolutely stinks in here.
Not what you expected then?
It just seems smaller.
Not quite as glamorous
as when I was here last.
Smaller?
Oh, well, I suppose you
are a big boy now, James.
Oh, oh.
Sorry about all this.
Um, welcome to The Palace Hotel.
We would like to check-in.
I think.
Of course. What name is
the reservation under?
James Lacey and Agatha Raisin.
Uh, two rooms, please, Harry.
This is a work thing.
Sure. Have you stayed
with us before?
I have. But not for some time.
I have to say The
Palace is looking
a little more faded
than last time.
Right.
What's with the
protestors outside?
Oh, that's just some
locals making a mountain
out of a molehill.
Uh, now I'll need a card for
incidentals, if that's okay.
Ooh, buzzing in here!
Yeah, it was touch
and go if we'd get a table.
You look lovely.
Room all right?
Uh, yes.
Like you, it has a
certain old school charm.
Glad to hear it. G&T?
Always.
A gin and tonic please.
Certainly, sir.
Not sure about this
seafood supreme.
You're playing Russian
roulette there, Chelsea.
One bad prawn, and
all bets is off.
Oh, excuse me. A bottle
of dry white, please.
Was the
paella that ruined
my last trip to Costa Brava.
It's an emergency.
Yeah, I did!
Maybe you're seafood
intolerant, love.
Oh, don't talk nonsense, Brian.
Seafood intolerant my arse!
Nothing's that funny.
Apparently, it is.
I was brought up on
cockles and whelks.
Ate 'em by the bucket load.
I bet you were!
Why don't you mind your own
business, you stuck up bitch!
Oh, I would love to,
so if you could
stop broadcasting
your entire conversation,
that would be great.
Agatha.
Oh, where do you think you
are, the Sistine Chapel?
Just cause you two ain't
got nothing else to say
to each other,
don't mean we don't!
I hate to inform you,
but being a loudmouth
and actually having
something to say
are two entirely
different things.
Agatha, just ignore her.
I'm not having it.
- Go on, Wayne.
- Go on, tell her.
Go on, Wayne.
You need to teach your
misses some manners.
Please go away.
Come on then, Billy Bigshot.
Outside, you and me, right now.
- Don't be ridiculous.
- Fine!
I'll fight you in here then.
- Yeah! Go on!
- Show him, Wayne.
Be right back.
Come on.
- Go on, Wayne.
- Go on. Give him some!
Go on, Wayne, give
him one from me.
Aw, eating all
alone now, are we?
Serves you right for looking
down your nose at me,
you snobby cow!
What exactly is your problem?!
And if you touch me
again, you will regret it.
Are you threatening me?!
Yes, yes, I am. So back off!
- Come on then.
- Ooh!
Ladies, please!
This is The Palace!
Relax, Marcia.
I'm just making a
new holiday pal.
Everything's peachy.
Okay.
Seems like this whole fighting
thing isn't really your forte?
Shall we call it a night
before you do yourself
a serious injury?
That family are
a complete nightmare.
Believe it or not,
Mr. and Mrs. Jankers
are on their honeymoon.
- Hasn't stopped them from
upsetting loads of other
guests and the locals
who use the bar, though.
Well, do you know
the woman personally?
No.
Can't you do
something about them?
The night they arrived,
Mrs. Jankers' son behaved
so badly the police were called.
But our local plod
wouldn't get involved.
Wasn't serious
enough apparently.
Well, how long are they staying?
Until the day after tomorrow.
Oh!
In the meantime, we
will comp your rooms.
- Oh.
- Thank you.
You're welcome.
Quite frankly, it's the
least they could do.
Shall we have dinner in town?
Yes, you read my mind.
Well... I shall
wager, another 60.
Match.
Too rich for me.
Okay, so, there's only
a 1 in 221 chance that
Roy or Charlie was
dealt pocket aces.
So?
But the odds of you guys
getting three of a kind
or a two pair on the
river are far better.
So?
And I reckon Charlie's
just done that.
- So?
- So I'm folding.
Thank you. Could've
said that sooner.
Let's see you then, Roy.
Hm.
Interesting.
However...
- Ah!
- Two pairs.
I knew he had something.
Hi, everyone.
- Hey!
- Hey!
Oh, it's looking pretty
even at the moment.
Except for Bill.
He's not much of a bluffer.
I'm getting better.
Read my face.
- Grab a seat, join the game.
- Oh, no.
Haven't played for ages.
I came to speak to Roy about
the Cotswolds Clean
Rivers crowd-funder.
- Much money coming in?
- Barely a trickle.
I need your media savvy
to give it a boost.
Consider it done.
Oh, come on, Sarah.
Live a little.
We could do with another
honest face at the table.
But if I join now,
it'll mess up your game.
Oh, it's only for
fun, but be warned,
Toni has learned all the poker
stats before we even started.
And she's learned them verbatim.
Okay. But I can't stay too long.
I've got an early
service in the morning.
Newbie deals.
Oh, I played a few hands at Uni.
Right, let's talk
strategies for the new book.
Stage one.
How you research.
Or we could just
have a nice dinner.
The two of us. No work.
Mm-hmm.
There she is again.
Fold!
But can you tell
me what you had?
What?! That is unholy, Vicar!
Remind me never to play
strip poker with you!
So, that clean
rivers crowd-funder?
- Yeah?
- Problem solved.
Ship you off to
Vegas, and ka-ching!
I can't play for real money.
The big man works
in mysterious ways.
Maybe he'd be Cool UK with it.
I suppose hitting the
high stakes poker tables
at Caesars Palace would
speed up the process a bit.
- Mm-hmm.
- Or, if you'd rather not fly,
you could always come
to my club in London,
help a few chinless wonders
fritter away their inheritance.
That's a very kind
offer, Charles.
But I don't think my
boss would approve.
Ooh!
No, no.
Beauty before brawn.
Flatterer.
I'm glad I skipped those triple
cooked duck fat chips now.
Why?
They'd of brought
us closer together.
That your old man, down there?
- No.
- Oh, not too late then, eh?
- Listen... oh...
- Oh.
- Ah, I got to go.
Mm. Me too.
Yeah, maybe I'll see you around.
At least the
restaurant wasn't bad.
I have to say, I rather
enjoyed the prawn cocktail.
And not even in an ironic way.
Oh!
Ooh. My scarf.
Think I must have
dropped it somewhere.
Any idea where?
Well, I did leave the hotel
dining room in rather a rush,
so, it could be...
- I'll go and check.
- Oh, no, no, no.
You might bump into
that awful family again,
even more drunk and
looking for trouble.
- Okay.
- Just leave it till the morning.
Probably wise.
So... what's on the
agenda for tomorrow then?
Oh, right. Yeah, the agenda.
Um, well, Snoth Castle ruins,
where I believe the
doubloons are buried.
Good optics for the PR release.
I'll get some action
shots of you... dig, dig.
You do dig, do you?
What?
Hm?
Night-night then.
Night.
Oh, sugar!
No more poker.
You have quit.
End of.
You know, life would
be so much simpler
if ruins had a post code.
Or we could use the Sat Nav.
There.
I think.
Taser! Taser! Taser!
Detective Inspector
Barret. Snoth CID.
Step away from the map.
I won't ask nicely again.
What the hell is going on here?
Which one of you
is Agatha Raisin?
- That'd be me.
- Really?
No! Not really!
Then we need a tete-à-tete.
Oh, a tete-a-tete?
Oh, sejours de quoi?
A propos de quoi?
Sur quoi?
What?
About what?
The murder of Geraldine Jankers.
Recognize this
scarf, Mrs. Raisin?
Yes.
It's mine.
I lost it.
How convenient.
When was that?
Yesterday evening.
What is it doing in an
evidence bag, Inspector?
Mrs. Jankers' body was
found on the beach,
strangled with the scarf you've
just identified as yours.
Well, I'd imagine it's
the most stylish thing
she's ever had around her neck.
Though I'm sure anyone
could've strangled her with it.
But only you were heard
threatening the victim
with violence, in the
dining room of this hotel,
shortly before her murder.
It's a door case, innit?
What?
Open and shut.
Come on, then.
Where were you between
midnight and 4:00 a.m.?
Asleep in my room.
And can your husband slash lover
slash whatever confirm this?
My slash colleague, James Lacey,
walked me to my
room at about 11:30.
And after that?
No alibi for the
rest of the night?
N-no.
Right.
You're under arrest,
which means, we're
going to Dingbridge.
What? Why Dingbridge?
Because since division
closed our cells in Snoth
that's where we take our
suspects, but I'm fine with it.
I see. And is it far?
About 30 minutes,
depending on traffic.
And if there's road
works, which there are,
especially on a cobbly bypass,
you can't even go
down the high street.
You said her body was
found on the beach.
Well, I only ever met the
woman once, very briefly.
And we took an instant
dislike to each other.
Your point is?
My point is, Inspector,
how, pray tell,
could I have persuaded
Mrs. Jankers to take a walk
with me on the beach in
the middle of the night?
Hmm?
Well, I'm assuming
that none of her family
mentioned that she was off for a
moonlit stroll along the sands.
Inspector...
I happen to run a
highly-respected
detective agency, and in
my professional opinion,
this case is anything but open,
and shut.
Now, I don't think either
of us want to go all the way
to Dingbridge only
to have to turn round
and come all the way back.
Think of the traffic.
Think of the road works.
Okay.
Further enquiries will be made.
But you're technically
on police bail.
Understood?
Understood.
And don't even dream
about leaving my town.
Why would I when I have
a murder to investigate?
What was she doing
down here, James?
Meeting someone?
A lover perhaps.
What? On her honeymoon?
Mrs. Jankers didn't strike
me as the sentimental sort.
True.
Oh.
Right.
Who are you calling?
Toni.
I think we need new faces to get
cozy with the deceased's family,
wiggle in and see what they
can find out about them.
An undercover operation.
Exactly.
Running alongside
my investigation.
But if you want to
focus on your book...
No, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no.
No, I can help you during the
day and then write at night.
Be just like old times.
I was rather hoping you
were going to say that.
It's when we're at
our best, James.
Working on a case together.
Watson to your Holmes.
I rather like that.
Oh.
I guess she left through
another door then,
if the sign's accurate.
We should go to
reception and see
who was on duty after midnight.
Why don't I go and
have a scout around
and see how many
other exits there are?
Good idea.
Oh, I'm sorry, Mrs. Raisin.
There's so much going on because
of the, um, tragic death.
And... but I'm glad you're here.
- You are?
- Oh, definitely.
The police mentioned that
you run a detective agency.
Indeed I do.
You knew Geraldine,
didn't you, Marcia?
Yes. Geraldine
was an old friend.
So why did you deny it
when I asked you before?
Because she called
me out of the blue,
wanting mate's rates,
and this idiot agreed.
And, well, you saw
how they behaved.
I did.
I was worried the hotel's
owners would find out
that I'd given them
a deal and blame me
for the trouble
they were causing.
The hotel's owners
want me to hire you
to find out who killed her.
Why not just let the
police deal with it?
They're keen to get out ahead
of the investigation to see
if there are any
liability issues
that might affect a sale
to Crescendo Casinos.
Oh, I see.
Right, well, I'll get my
office to whiz a contract over.
But firstly, I need a
list of all the guests
that are staying here and
who was on duty last night.
I have to ask.
Oh, sorry.
I'm meant to be wearing
it on a charity run.
I thought I'd better
try it on the treadmill
in the hotel gym first,
see if I overheat.
Terrible this business
with Mrs. Jankers.
Oh, yeah.
I was the one who found her.
Yeah, she was lying there,
scarf flapping in the wind.
It was...
What time was that?
Just after 6:00.
I was on my morning run.
Were you on
reception last night?
Uh-huh.
Did you see her leave the hotel?
No, but...
From 1:00 until about 5:00, I
was asleep in the back office.
Enjoy your picnic.
Here we go.
Right. Mm-hmm. Okay.
Is that man a guest?
No. He just uses the hotel gym.
Often?
Whenever he wants.
Mr. Miller's friendly
with the hotel's owners.
He's in and out day and night.
Hm.
You're not ignoring me, are you?
Oh, no, I was on the pho...
Hey, people will talk, though.
Let them!
I'm Agatha.
Oh, Terry Miller.
So, you enjoying your
stay at The Palace?
Well, it's been a bit of
a mixed bag, to be honest.
Yeah, I'm not surprised.
You're more of a Rodeo
Drive than Snoth-on-Sea, eh?
Oh, really? You think so?
- Yeah.
You should come back
in a couple of years,
you know, when
the casino's open.
Now that... That'll
be your scene.
Oh, so you're in favor
of turning this place
into a little piece
of Vegas, are you?
Oh, yeah, seeing as my firm
is doing all the building work
- on the project.
- Oh?
Oh.
Trouble?
Should I be worried?
No, no. No, it's my mum.
It's the name that
she used to give.
It just stuck, that's all, yeah.
Hmm.
Uh, might this murder
just hold things up a bit?
I don't see why.
Well, as long as
Friday's casino night
goes as planned then,
we're in business.
You should come along,
see Snoth's future.
- Oh.
- You could.
Oh.
Oh.
It's the architect.
He's at a house
that I'm converting,
asking me where am I.
Oh?
Well, consider yourself invited.
You bet.
Trouble!
You're joking.
They're still in there.
Harry Beam said that he locked
the beach door at 11:00 p.m.,
as usual.
He also said that there are
alarms on all of the fire exits,
so that if she left by one of
them, he'd have known about it.
So, the deceased
must have walked out
through the main entrance
and off to meet her fate.
Well, they've
nailed the uniform.
They certainly have.
Right, I think we should
go and have a talk
with Brian Jankers,
Geraldine's husband.
He was on the
terrace not long ago.
Service!
You're gross, Roy.
Just getting into character.
Right.
How's my accent?
Very good!
Wait, are we doing accents?
- Well, I thought it...
Alright, mate!
Not exactly Magaluf, is it?
I'll say.
No foam parties then.
Foam parties?
The bar shuts at half 10:00
unless you kick off about it.
You're havin' a laugh!
Here you are, mate.
I'll have a Pint of
Kronenbourg, yeah,
large Chardonnay, and
whatever this fella
and his misses is drinking.
That's decent of you, mate,
but we'll get our own.
I insist.
Just came into some
serious Emperor Ming.
Oy, Cyclops, packet of cheese
and onion, as well, yeah?
Agatha Raisin,
private detective.
The hotel have asked my
associate Mr. Lacey and myself
to investigate what happened
to your wife, Mr. Jankers.
You're the woman
who threatened her.
That was all a bit
of a misunderstanding
and a momentary loss
of my own dignity.
Stay away from me.
Agatha.
Maybe he needs some more time.
It's been like one of those
nightmare holiday shows.
Murdered on the beach.
It's hard to believe
it could happen to Mum.
And now the rozzers
want us to stay on at the hotel
till it's further
investigated or something.
That's just taking
the piiiiiiiiiiiiss.
All I want is to go home.
Course you do, Wayne.
Can never trust
the filth, right?
Mm. Here, here.
Bottoms up. I mean cheers!
So were you and
his mum close then?
Are you joking?
Geraldine was a
manipulative old tart!
She had Wayne wrapped
around her little finger.
Just like all the
other men in her life.
Really?
- Mm-hmm.
Must be awful for Wayne, though.
You know, losing
his mum at that age.
Yeah, poor Wayne.
Why here? Not
another fond memory, is it?
No. Don't want
to blow their cover.
Stay away from the hotel.
Nice to see a bit
of proper tradition!
Punch and Judy by the seaside.
Bring it on!
Oh, Roy, you smell
like a brewery.
It was quite a heavy
afternoon session.
They can really knock it back.
So what'd you learn?
Well, for starters,
Geraldine Jankers
has been married four times.
Good God! Hard enough to believe
she could get one man
to pop the question.
Well, her first, Wayne's
father, was killed 20 years ago
after a calibration error
at a canning factory
caused an explosion.
- What?
- I don't know.
She divorced husband
2, Ronnie Black,
after he was sent to prison.
Oh, prison. Now
that's interesting.
And then there was a short
marriage to an Archie...
Uh, Swale.
Swale. Archie Swale.
Who she traded in
for Brian Jankers
couple of months ago
after they met online.
It's bit of a
whirlwind romance then.
Here we go! Here
we go! Here we...
Oh, Roy! You don't need
to stay in character.
Look around.
There's no one here.
Sorry. I went a bit method.
According to Wayne,
the penultimate hubby,
Archie Swale, took the
breakup particularly badly,
and he only lives about 15
miles up the coast in Mudhaven.
Well, does anyone know
what this Ronnie Black did,
why he was in prison.
I mean, is he
still serving time?
- I don't know.
- Don't know.
Right. I'll phone Bill.
Our new mates invited
us to join them
and Brian Jankers for dinner.
Right, come on! Action stations!
Now, I need you two
to talk to Brian,
see what you can find out about
his wife and her final night.
Right, come along.
What are you doing?
That way! Go! Go!
Alright, alright.
- Don't follow us.
- Alright, alright.
They're following us.
- Ah!
- Hello, boys and girls.
- Have you been good?
- That way? Ah!
Roy!
Would you believe...
Are you sure about this?
Yes, absolutely.
Listen, we'll be back in Snoth
before anyone's
noticed we've gone.
Mr. Archie Swale?
Yes. What is it?
We've been asked to
investigate the death
of your ex-wife, Geraldine.
Well, that's got
nothing to do with me.
Oh, we just want to know
what kind of person she was.
That's all.
Oh.
Bad hip?
Shocking.
Waiting for a new one.
- Take a seat.
- Thank you.
So, where did you two meet?
On the train.
Geraldine sat next to me.
She was friendly,
she seemed kind.
And I fell for her.
As soon as we were
married, she changed.
I'd never met that son of hers,
not until the wedding day.
But within weeks, he
was living with us.
- Not what you had in mind.
- No!
Then Wayne stole a gold lighter
that belonged to my father,
plus some other valuable things.
Geraldine refused to believe it.
Hm, you should've
heard her scream at me
for accusing her precious boy.
She gave Wayne
everything, spoiled him,
but it was never enough.
That little shower
probably did her in.
And how did you
feel when she left?
Honestly?
Relieved.
Did she ever talk about her
second husband, Ronnie Black?
Never.
Actually, no.
Once, when she was
drunk New Year's Eve,
as we walked past some
very expensive looking.
Bond Street jeweler.
Can you remember what she said?
Well, something about the store
being right up her
ex-husband's street.
Oh? Well, what do you
think she meant by that?
That he was rich.
Bought her shiny things.
She loved money.
Ah.
So Geraldine never
mentioned to you
that Ronnie Black had
been in prison, then?
No, but that
doesn't surprise me.
Is this your Distinguished
Service Medal?
Which brigade?
Royal Marines.
I think we can safely
eliminate him from the list.
There is absolutely no way
that he could have strangled
that tough old boot.
Not with that bad hip
and her... figure.
Don't be so sure.
Once a Commando,
always a Commando.
They're lethal.
Even with a dodgy hip.
I made it clear as crystal meth
that you were not to leave town
whilst you remained a suspect.
Isn't crystal meth cloudy?
What makes you
think that she did?
We had a call from
a Mr. Archie Swale,
checking that you were
who you says you were.
So, you've gone and broken the
conditions of your police bail.
Well, I thought I was
only technically on bail.
Then you'll only technically be
fitted with this little beauty.
Janet.
You seriously don't
expect me to wear that
hideous looking thing, do you?
It's the Chav Nav or the
Chockie. Your choice.
Alright.
Get on with it then!
An actual sadist designed
this in order to be
as uncomfortable as possible.
Keys to our best suite. Yet
another cancelled booking.
Figure it'll make a good
center of operations
for you to work out of.
Thanks. That'll help.
It's Goldenballs
started it really.
Turning footballers
into models and...
How's your food, Mr. Jankers?
Beckham's got a
lot to answer for.
He was fit, though.
As in like
you know, athletic.
I love your necklace, Chelsea.
It's... it's well bling.
Aw, innit?
Wayne just gave it to me.
- Ow!
Well, obviously,
it's just costume.
Got things to take care
of. You coming, Brian?
I think I'll stay for pudding.
See you later, mate!
You're the big geezer!
What do you do for a
living then, Brian?
I own a small chain
of dress shops.
Oh?
Did your wife run them with you?
No, but,
um, I think the shops
were one of the reasons
she was attracted to me.
She was very fashion conscious.
Nice.
It's my fault, you know?
If I hadn't have taken
that sleeping pill,
I'd have heard Geraldine
go out, you know?
Might have even been
able to stop her.
Don't be so hard on yourself.
Where do you think she
was going that night?
I've been asking
myself that, love.
It's a mystery.
What will you do now?
Go back to work, once
the police let us leave.
Not tempted to
take some time off?
Can't afford it, lad.
The wedding and the
honeymoon weren't cheap.
On top of that, I
promised Geraldine
I'd pay Wayne and
Chelsea's bill.
Even after inheriting
his mother's estate,
I bet he won't chip in.
So, Brian Jankers wasn't
happy about Wayne inheriting,
which makes me think there
might be a decent amount.
Oh, do you think Wayne
might tell you how much?
Doubt it. I think I've blown
my cover and not in a good way.
Well, comments like that get
you blown in the first place,
so to speak.
If only it was that easy.
But hang on, he did say
something in the bar
about coming into
some "serious"...
- Emperor Ming?
- Emperor Ming.
- Bling.
- Bling.
Oh, did he now?
Wayne got super edgy when I
complimented Chelsea's necklace.
Yeah, and she made a
big deal about it being
costume jewelry.
But the way those
diamonds sparkled
makes me think
they're pretty legit.
I mean, I can't help but
wonder why she'd lie.
Do you remember what
Archie Swale said about
his ex wife outside the
jewelry shop on New Year's Eve.
Maybe Ronnie Black is a thief?
The smash and grab kind.
Maybe it's all connected.
Hey, you.
Hey.
Are you all right?
Oh, hi, everyone.
Sorry.
The dog's really sick.
The dog? Bill?
Have you heard anything
back from the prison service
about Ronnie Black?
Not yet.
I looked him up on the
PNC like you asked.
Turns out Mr. Black went
down for armed robbery.
Did he stick up a jewelry store?
Yeah. Carter's of
Chiswick in 2010.
I don't suppose you know
if any of this jewelry
was ever recovered, do you?
Hold on a minute, is
that my Naked Man statue?
Um, I do, and it wasn't, and...
Are you in my house, Bill?!
Oh, uh, the wifi
signal's cutting...
Bill!
Cut, cut, dropping.
Sorry, Agatha. Bye!
Come on, Bluey!
What if Geraldine was
holding on to the jewelry
for her jailbird ex.
Or simply knew its location,
and that was what
got her killed?
Yeah, but Chelsea let slip that
Wayne had only just
given her the necklace.
Maybe the necklace was
one of the stolen pieces.
Oh, I'd like to
see this necklace!
Well, I doubt Wayne's
gonna let her wear that out
in public for a while.
Mnh-mnh.
So, we break into their room
and photograph the necklace
and any other jewelry.
Then check to see if it matches
with what's been stolen.
An operation like that,
it'll need to be planned
with military precision.
Roy, get the floor plan.
Ooh, we could do it when
Wayne and Chelsea go down
for breakfast' cause it'd be
easy to keep an eye on her.
Good idea!
Pick your poison.
Agatha, you cover
the lobby stairs.
I'll watch the dining room.
Toni, find a cleaner
with a master key.
Roy runs interference.
Chelsea's cookies,
and Wayne's nuts.
Well, I see you've
fixed the wifi.
Uh, so the prison
service got back to me.
While serving his
original sentence,
Ronnie Black brutally
attacked two inmates,
causing them serious injuries.
But then, a fortnight
ago, he was released
years earlier than planned,
due to a terminal illness.
- Bill, I have to go.
- Is Toni okay?
Ooh, sorry.
I was just a bit peckish.
- Aggie!
- Psst! Here!
Right, we won't have
long until she finishes
the room and notices
it's missing.
Roy's gonna distract
her once she's done.
Try and buy us some more time.
Excellent teamwork.
Wayne's on his way back up!
Ah!
Wait, wait. Round the
corner, round the corner.
Sorry!
That didn't sound good.
No, It did not.
But I think we should
go and have a look.
What? No, no, no, no, no.
Or we could just
sort of stay here.
I've got biscuits.
Biscuits?! We're in the
middle of an emergency!
No, no, no, but, I'm
pretty sure the rule is
don't head towards any type of
screaming in creepy old hotels.
I'm pretty sure
the rule is we do.
Is... is that...
I think
he's probably dead.
I think we should
probably evacuate.
Roy!
Where's Agatha?
She's here.
She was right behind me.