Agatha Raisin (2014–…): Season 3, Episode 3 - Love From Hell - full transcript

Agatha Raisin and James Lacey, recently married, are living in separate cottages and accusing each other of infidelity.

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But we don't think
that it was him.

Which means that somebody else
wants to kill you.

Who?

Well, far be it from me
to say, but...

Anyway...

[ Inhales sharply ]

Any ideas,
Mr. Laggat-Brown?

[ Slurping ]

No.

Where were you yesterday,
anyway?

Flying back from Tenerife.
I run a travel company.



I see.

So are you both on the same page
regarding dates?

Because I gather there was
a little bit of a confusion.

- We are, yes.
- Oh, good.

So how did your family
make all its wealth, Tiggy?

TIGGY:
Does it matter?

It's just that I heard
it was dog food.

Chunkies, if I'm not mistaken,
Betty.

Unless I'm barking up
the wrong tree.

[ Chuckles ]

[ Dinging ]

JEREMY: Excuse me.

Yes?

I'm not massively beholden
to my wife at the moment,



but how is this relevant?

My.
How chivalrous.

I can look after myself,
thank you, darling.

Excellent!
Then I shall leave you be.

AGATHA: Ah-ah-ah-ah.
Eh...

I would like to posit
a question, if I may.

If something were to happen
to your dear wife,

God forbid, who would inherit
all this fortune?

TIGGY:
Cassandra would.

Lock, stock, and barrel.

Now, if you'll excuse me.

Darling.

[ Door closes ]

So, Tiggy, why don't you like
being reminded

of where all this wealth
came from?

It's dog food.
Who cares?

I hate it.
I'm ashamed.

Dog food.

Oh, yes, I see.

Yeah, I don't think it would
go down very well

with the ladies that lunch
at the country club.

- Is that right?
- I'd be the laughingstock.

What about Jeremy?

Does he like playing
king of the castle, hmm?

He doesn't care.

He's never been interested
in money.

He used to be interested
in me.

But you still love him,
right?

So why make the arrangements

for Cassandra's engagement party
without him?

What was all that about?

A ploy.
To get his attention.

Ah.

CASSANDRA: I said to her,
I said,

"Tilly, don't waste your time."

You know when you know,
don't you?

Actually, don't answer that,

because your taste in men
is even worse than the taste

of that black tomato gin
we had that time.

- [ Car approaches, stops ]
- Ha!

When are you gonna
meet someone?

- [ Car door closes ]
- When the time's right.

There's no rush.
Plus, I have Comet.

We both have.

Oh, you won't forget that Baron
needs mucking out too, will you?

Course not.

- [ Horse neighing ]
- Hi, Cassie.

Hey, Fliss.
How's it going?

Charles! Hi. Great.
How are you?

Good, good.
Wow.

It takes me back,
seeing Comet.

All of us hacking out
across the fields.

And you and Cassie
are still close?

Uh, yeah.
Not as close.

She's more into parties
and moving to London.

And I'm more into this.

But she mucks out occasionally
when I'm away.

Listen, I hope you don't
mind me asking, but...

Do you know of any reason
why anyone

would hold a grudge
against Tiggy?

Tig?

No.
Envy, maybe?

She's rich and beautiful.

Excellent. Yes.
Thursday, then.

Very good.
Hi.

- Hi.
- Fliss. Hi.

I just thought I'd, um,
take Comet out.

Sure.

Well, I'll leave you to it.

Marital strife isn't reason
enough alone to kill.

Isn't it?
Are you sure?

Well, not unless
there's a motive.

Are you coming in or what?

No, I promised Roy

that I would find him a pub
with a roaring fire

and a Spanish barman.

Otherwise he may end up
back at yours.

Apparently he's worried
about the drafts.

Yes, he did mention that.

Toodle-oo.

TONI:
[ Calling ] Red?

What are you doing?

I thought you were back
at the office.

Well, um, I've had
a couple of sightings,

near Herris Cum Magna, actually,
so I thought I'd take a look.

Oh, good.

Well, off you pop, then.

[ Blows whistle ]

Any possibility of a lift?

Excuse me!

Who do you think I am,
your chauffeur?

Go on.

All right.

[ Sighs ]

Let's get sorted.

[ Keys clink ]

Gonna have a drink first.

Aaaaah!

WILKES:
Well, well, well.

- [ Beep, camera shutter clicks ]
- So, what have we got here?

BILL: He's been I.D.ed
as Johnny Sullivan.

Another note, a gun,
and a cake.

It could be a heart attack?

Yeah, yeah, details, Constable,
details.

I'm thinking this is
a hybrid cake...

A touch of red velvet
and a little hint of walnut.

Now, the flavors will be great,
but it's been overmixed.

That icing looks delicious.
But the bottom? Bit soggy.

So here's a thought.

I mean, I'm just
thinking out loud here.

What if the death
wasn't natural causes,

and what if the actual
real-life cake itself

was poisoned?

[ Chuckles ]
Utter lunacy.

- [ Gasps ]
- Uh...

Best not.

Shall we leave the master baker
to it?

Definitely soggy.

[ Police radio chatter ]

- What's happening?
- Oh, James. You're back.

- So soon?
- My meeting was canceled.

Or rather it never existed.

So someone wanted him out of
the house and out of the way.

What are you talk...

Will you just tell me
what's going on?

There has been
a bit of an incident

involving a dodgy cake and
a dead assassin in the kitchen.

- What?!
- Nothing I can't handle.

Bill, can you fill him in?

I just need to find out
a little bit more

about this Sullivan character.

[ Whistle blowing ]

TONI: Red!

Red!

[ Woman crying ]

[ Door closes ]

TONI:
Emma Comfrey.

Oh, excellent work.
Is Charles with you?

They're following
Perry Peterson.

Well, I sincerely hope
he hasn't spotted you.

God, no, Aggie.
He hasn't got a clue.

Red!

Red?

[ Clinking ]

[ Whistles ]

Come on, Red!

[ Whistles ]

[ Whistling ]

Red!

- James!
- Sorry! Sorry.

[ Sighs ]

Look, here's a thought.

Why don't we go out
and do some digging?

What? Now?

It's what you do.
And it's kind of what we do.

It's sort of the only thing
we do together.

Well,
apart from occasionally...

Well, yeah.
Occasionally.

[ Chuckles ]

What?

James, there is really
no need to go out

and do any kind
of digging right now.

Charles and Roy
have everything covered.

[ Knock on door ]

Evening.

Oh.

It would appear my shop
is never shut.

Listen,
even Toni's hard at it.

She's, hopefully, in the woods,
getting lucky somewhere.

Is she?

She also called me to say
that she saw Emma Comfrey

leaving George's house
in something of a state,

which is interesting.

And thanks to my research,
I think I may have discovered

that our suicide-note writer
may have been left-handed.

What have you got?

Well, Johnny Sullivan died
as a result of a heart attack

brought on by an allergic
reaction to Cascaden.

To what?

What is that, some sort of
Amazonian poison or something?

It's a laxative, actually.

James, can you just be serious
for a minute?

He's right.
It is a laxative.

And it was all over
that cake.

But why?

Well, to debilitate me,
obviously.

Someone is trying
to hamper this case.

[ Exhales sharply ]

But how did this cake crusader
get in here?

That's what I want to know.

[ Sighs ]

So someone sets up
your fake meeting

assuming that you will come
back here to get changed.

So you come back here,
you go up the stairs,

they sneak in...

Did you leave the door
open again?

No.

I'd have spotted a cake
on the kitchen table, Agatha.

Not if they waited
till you'd left.

Who would want you off
the investigation?

What, apart from Wilkes?
Oh, let me think.

Mmmm, pretty much everyone.

BILL: Well, someone else
did break in,

'cause your back door
was picked by a pro.

Sullivan?

Let himself in, waits,

eats the cake intended for you,
and...

JAMES:
Hang on a minute.

So you're saying
that there's not one

but two people
who have got it in for Agatha?

Precisely that, yeah.

This gets better and better.

And there's something else.
You were right.

Sullivan went down
a few times,

and guess who he once
shared a cell with.

Don't tell me.
Harrison Peterson.

In one.
And now they're both dead.

- Here you go.
- Thanks.

Well done.

Good work, my man.
You'll ace it.

So, where's Cassie tonight?

Uh, she's figuring out
which spa treatment

to have
with her mum tomorrow.

- Anyway, I-I best be off.
- Oh, no.

Ochos.

- Ochos?
- Ochos.

We have to practice
your back ochos.

Not to mention your parallel
and cross systems.

Oh, crumbs.

Don't worry.
Breathe through it.

In that case,
if we're stopping,

your dad was in prison
with Johnny Sullivan.

You didn't perchance know him,
did you?

Oh, I knew of him.

Yeah, my dad loved
telling stories about Johnny.

To anyone who would listen,
really.

- Why?
- He's dead.

Anyone else
like hearing those stories?

'Cause I know a couple of people
that would love to...

No one.

No.

Listen,
thanks for this.

Really.
But I best be going.

Bye.

Red?!

Thought you might like
some company.

Ohh!
You thought right.

I don't really know
what I'm doing, really.

I don't know why I keep
getting fobbed off

with the missing-pet stuff
when Agatha gets all the glory.

Or flak, to be fair.

But I know what you mean.

I get the short straw
the whole time.

From Wilkes and Agatha.
And I don't even work for her.

So how are we doing
on old Red?

Not a clue.

I mean, the map shows that
he's kind of heading this way,

hence the stakeout, but...

There's nothing around here
for miles except woodland.

I know.

I don't know where he's heading
but it definitely ain't home.

The only place near here
is the manor house.

You know Agatha rates you,
right?

She said that?

- No! Course not. It's Agatha.
- Oh.

But she wouldn't give you
the responsibility

if she didn't think
you could handle it.

And for what it's worth,

I'm really impressed
by all this.

Don't be soft.

I mean, what about you?

Have you ever thought
about moving up the ladder?

Do you fancy yourself
a sergeant?

Can't say I have, really.

Why not?
You'd ace it.

Do you think?

Yeah.

[ Cellphone vibrates ]

- [ Vibrating continues ]
- [ Groans softly ]

Ohh!

What?

By all that is fair and good
and just in this world, Aggie,

please let me come
and stay at yours.

- I am so bored.
- Roy, it's...

[ Groans ] It's the middle
of the night.

I am in bed.

Hey, I hope you're still
on Perry's tail.

What? Who?
No, he left.

And before you have
a dicky fit,

we asked him about Sullivan.

He knew of him,

but he seemed genuinely shocked
when he heard that he'd died.

He could be pretending.

He clammed up when we asked him
if anyone else knew.

Like he was covering.

Our money is on
his lovely Cassandra,

who, by the way, is gonna be
at the spa tomorrow.

Ooh! And she will inherit
everything if Tiggy dies.

On point,
she could have hired a hit man

and wasn't necessarily a fan
of her father-in-law.

Food for thought.

Sleep well.

Oh, I'll sleep well.
I'll sleep like a ba...

Wake up every two hours,
crying.

I've won.
Shall we?

What happened to that
Spanish barman you promised me?

It's his night off.

I'm gonna stay by the fire.

Roy, Barfield has 67 rooms.

It has very expensive
oil-fired heating

which I never turn on
after February.

You need to grow a pair.

I have a perfectly adequate
pair, thank you very much.

They just disappear
inside my body

when it goes below freezing.

Well, I don't feel
the cold there at all.

Probably something to do
with going to public school.

It toughens you up.
That's what you need.

I don't want to go
to public school.

I want to stay by the fire.

Fine.

Another game?

I'm gonna say "domi-nope."

I don't think I could cope
with the excitement.

Me neither.

Well, look, if we're gonna
sit here all night,

let's at least make it
a little more interesting.

How about a drinking game?

Involving what, exactly?

- Tequila.
- Oh! I'm in.

All the tequila, please.

[ Exhales sharply ]

- James!
- Huh?!

What?!
What?

I've got a theory!

Well, not a theory as such.

More of a sort of
a just like a hunch.

No, not a hunch.

Like a sort of
a something in my stomach.

- Wind?
- No, not wind.

James, it's about romance and...
And tango...

Agatha, it's late.
You need to sleep.

[ Exhales sharply ]
I need to sleep.

I need to sleep.

No, but you know
what they say...

Go to sleep on a problem,
waking up with a solution.

I'll go to sleep.

Okay, so you woke me up

to tell me
that you're going to sleep?

Thanks for that.

Sorry about the books.

Don't be.

It's what you do.

You've been
busy with your book.

It's what you're
passionate about.

- Passion!
- Aah! Aah!

This is what
I'm talking about!

James!

Passion! Passion!

Passion!
That's what this is all about!

It's, uh... James!

[ Owl hooting ]

Can you turn me on?

- [ Beeps ]
- There you go.

Oh! Heeey!

Yeah!

It's good.
[ Whistles ]

TONI: [ Whistles ]
It's technical.

[ Whistling ]

Red?

Where are you?

Bill! Focus.

How do you focus?

- Oh, there you are.
- [ Whistling ]

Red?!

[ Whistling ]

BILL: Red!

- [ Horse neighs ]
- Bill!

It's an expensive bit of kit,
this.

BILL: [ Panting ]

[ Cellphone rings ]

I always get the bottom bunk.

[ Ringing continues ]

Yello.

Passion, Roy.
Passion.

Not now, Aggie.

No, I am telling you,
that is the key.

All that emotion
all bubbling away

underneath the surface.

Anyway, how's it all going
at Chez Fraith?

Oh, it's five-star.
It's brilliant.

Good.
Very happy for you.

Right, listen,
this is the plan.

I'm gonna go to the spa
with my secret weapon

and find out what
Cassandra knows about Johnny.

And I want you and Charles
to go and see Mr. Tango Man,

see what's really going on
between him and Emma whatsit.

- Well, how will we do that?
- Well, I don't know.

I mean, I'm sure Charles
will think of something.

They're old muckers,
weren't they?

They went to school together.

Probably did
initiation ceremonies together.

All that
dipping-their-testicles-

in-a-bottle-of-ink stuff.

Oh, yuck, no.

Roy?
Are you still there?

Oh!

WOMAN: I think
it's the essential oils...

AGATHA: A horse?!
A hor...

What's a horse got to do
with anything?

Toni, are you on drugs?

[ Sighs ]

Yes, all right.
Well, I have to go.

Call me when you find out
something more, and not before.

Okay?

[ Sighs ]

Okay, I'm gonna get busy
with Tiggy.

You get involved
with little miss princess,

see what she knows
about Johnny Sullivan.

Johnny Sullivan, okay.

What makes you think
she'll talk to me?

Hmm?
Sarah, people just do.

I don't know, it's...
It's your superpower.

Ohh! [ Laughs ]
What are the chances?

Fancy seeing you here!

George's love life?

What makes Aggie think
he's gonna spill to me?

Old mates from boarding school.
Soggy biscuit and all that.

Old boarding-school mates,
soggy biscuit or no,

don't spill to each other.

That's the whole point.

Don't shoot the messenger.
That's what she said.

She seems to think that
your ball bags

have crossed at some point
over a bottle of ink.

She said what?!

Oh.

Hang on a minute.

Now you come to mention it...

Charles,
are you eating birdseed?

It's very good.

So are you ready
for the big night?

CASSANDRA:
I'm ready as I'll ever be.

Shame about Perry's dad.

It is. I would have liked him
to be there.

I only met him once.
We all had dinner together.

Did he happen to mention
a Johnny Sullivan?

Ow!

Oh, God, yeah.
Went on about him loads.

Great stories.

Although maybe he went on
about him a bit too much.

Oh, in what way?

Well, Mum and Dad were there,
and Mum really didn't appreciate

the crime stories
and prison talk.

She can be a bit judgmental.

She was pretty horrid
to Harrison.

Oh, maybe she wasn't feeling
that great.

How was Perry about that?

Well, Perry doesn't have
a bad bone in his body.

He just sucked it up.
As did his dad.

- My dad was furious.
- With your mum?

Told her she was being
well out of order.

They had a huge row.
We had to leave the restaurant.

- Oh, I see.
- Mm.

And that was the only time
you met Perry's dad?

Me, yeah.

My dad felt so bad about it
he went to build bridges.

Morning, Charles.
All set for the class?

I added an extra one in
preparation for tonight's show.

But we're not in it.

Agatha is, and I'm sure
she'd appreciate your support.

Well, we'll... we'll see.

Um, actually,

I need to have a word alone,
old boy, if that's...

- Yeah, of course.
- Of course.

Take as long as you need.
A week to 10 days should do it.

George,
I need to ask you something.

We go back a long way,
don't we?

And some.

Thing is, this is...
This is rather delicate.

You'll never guess, but...

After all these years...

...I've gone and fallen
head over heels in love.

Frisky Fraith?!

Frisky Fraith indeed.

In love?
I don't believe it.

Who on earth
brought you to your knees?

Well, that's just it,
you see.

It's, um...

You see, I don't want to step
on anybody's toes,

so I need to make sure
that you're okay with it.

Me?
Why me?

It's Emma.

[ Door opens, closes ]

So Jeremy Laggat-Brown
bonded with Perry's dad.

That's my understanding.
Perhaps...

Wha!
[ Gasps ]

Perhaps he got to this
Johnny Sullivan

through... through him?

- [ Gasping ]
- But w-why?

Because...

...Jeremy doesn't get
a p-p-penny if his

w-w-wife dies.

[ Groans softly ]

Sarah.
Are you still alive?

Yeah.

[ Groaning ]

[ Moan echoes ]

GEORGE: From here we have
out, together, out, together.

We turn, the lady goes back
on her right...

On duty, I take it.

No, uh, off, actually.

- Very nice.
- Oh, thank you.

GEORGE:
We go back.

We push her leg out
and to the side.

Same leg.
And together.

We push back.

Push her leg out,
same leg, and together.

Then we just present the lady.

- And leg up.
- [ Door opens ]

AGATHA:
Sorry I'm late.

Brain freeze,
quite literally.

Tango practica, Agatha.
Boleos and sacadas.

Beg your pardon?

Boleos... leg wraps...

And leg separation...
Sacadas.

It's very tricky
learning these signals

that lead into each move.

Isn't it just?

What did you get
on George and Emma?

Well...

Okay, everyone,
let's go.

Music!

Ask Roy.

[ Tango plays ]

Okay, mister, spill.

I can't really talk right now,
Aggie.

- I'm practicing my footwork.
- Now!

Okay, well, basically,
madly in love with...

Who is?

Remember, Mrs. Raisin,
in Argentine tango,

men lead, women follow.

Pbbbb!

I've never followed a man
in my life,

and I am not
going to start now.

- Who's in love with who?
- Emma loves George.

He knows it and likes her

but can't get over
the death of his wife.

Apparently, it began with Emma
baking him cakes

and then moved on
to the dance classes.

She's becoming
ever more possessive.

Agatha.
How nice.

How nice indeed.

At yesterday's tango class, you
danced quite a bit with Emma.

Did you mention
your book perchance?

I might have.

- Oh!
- Oh?

How fortuitous
that I'm dancing with you.

Because I would like to ask
your advice.

You know that I'm doing
this rather wonderful dance

with Gorgeous George.

Well, I just wondered,
when he has me in hold,

whether it's important
to stand up to him

or whether
I should be submissive

and just, you know,
melt into his arms?

Passive, powerless, yielding.

What do you think?
Anything?

Nothing?
It was just a thought.

- Aaah!
- [ People gasping ]

CHARLES: James...

[ Down-tempo music plays ]

James...

[ Squeaking ]

It's very sore.

Why did you try and poison me?

Because you're
the image of her.

Of Helen.

I can see it every time
he looks at you, and I...

I can't stand it!

I'm really sorry, but I think
I'm gonna have to arrest you.

Okay.

Okay.

So Emma called my publisher
and lured me out of town?

Mm-hmm.

Before baking me a cake

and adding
a special little ingredient

in the hope
that it would stop me dancing.

Well, the dagger could have
done that for you.

If it had been real.

Who says chivalry's dead, eh?

Must be in the blood.

She had no idea
about Sullivan's death

and is mortified
that she triggered it.

Well, I should be grateful
really,

because, in effect,
that cake saved my life.

Shame about that.

Oh, don't sound
too disappointed.

We still need to look into
Jeremy Laggat-Brown's movements,

whether he was abroad
when he said he was.

Think you could maybe
help with that?

No.

That's police business,
and...

- [ Gut rumbles ]
- Oh, God.

And we're already onto it.
Oh, I've got to go.

The icing on that cake
looked so good

I had to have
a little nibble.

Oh, God. Police business.
Coming through.

I'm so sorry.

I had no idea
Emma would go that far

just to stop me dancing
with someone else.

Well, it's a crazy little thing
called love.

And she knew that
I reminded you of Helen.

And you do.

Helen loved tango,
but we never learned,

so I never got to dance
with her.

I took up dancing as a way
of handling my grief.

Handling it?
Or burying it?

Helen was my everything.

I'm sure she was,
but, I don't know, maybe...

Just maybe
it's time to move forward.

I think maybe Emma could do
with your help right now.

And maybe even your daughter.

Felicity's fine.

She coped okay.

As long as she has Comet
and the manor house,

she's okay.

Okay.

Hey, um, you love horses,
don't you?

Yeah.
Love all animals.

How is this fella?

Oh, he's a gorgeous boy.
Good as ever.

He must be pretty tired,
though.

I mean, going out
twice yesterday.

Sorry, I don't follow.

Well, Charles told me

that Jeremy took him out
in the afternoon.

And then you took him out
in the evening.

It was you, wasn't it?

And even though Comet
no longer belongs to you.

Oh, nobody owns Comet.
He's his own man.

And Tiggy doesn't mind so long
as he's well looked after.

Even in
the middle of the night?

Sure.
I couldn't sleep.

And Dad was out rehearsing,
as he does.

So are we all set
on the plan?

Yep.

Okay, go!

[ Up-tempo tango plays ]

Oh! Ha.
Surprise!

What are you lot doing here?

ROY:
We're the talent.

Well, some of us are, anyway.
[ Laughs ]

No, we are part of the lovely
Cassandra's tango extravaganza.

We're rehearsing.

This way.

AGATHA: In fact, could I have
a moment of your time?

Yes, yes, yes,
but just make it quick.

In a flash.

- Oh, I'm sorry!
- JEREMY: You watch it.

[ Coughs ] So tell me, how did
you get on with Perry's dad?

Didn't know him
very well at all.

Oh?

Well, that's odd because
Cassandra told me that, uh,

you had gone to see him
after your wife humiliated him

about all
the Johnny Sullivan stories.

MAN:
Signature, sir?

Go, go, go, go, go.

It seemed like
the decent thing to do.

Oh. What about Sullivan?
Did you meet him too?

No.

Well, that's odd
because he was at my cottage

waiting for me with a gun.

JEREMY: Good God!

I'm sorry,
I fail to see a connection.

- He's dead.
- [ Gasps ]

So whoever paid him has, quite
frankly, wasted their money.

- Yeah.
- [ Cellphone rings ]

ROY: Sorry again.
I didn't mean to...

I hope you're going to be
better than this tonight.

Excuse me.

Yes?

[ Music stops ]

ROY:
He's gone.

Well, he wasn't lying.

He was out the country
two days ago.

Really? Where?

The Camar...

Cama...
How do you say that?

The Camargue.
South of France.

Yeah. And then Italy
a week before that. Siena.

Which is all very nice, but what
does it actually tell us?

Well, it tells us that he was
lying to his wife

about being away in Spain
on business.

- What was he was doing there?
- Horses!

The Camargue is famous
for its white horses.

And Siena is famous
for its Palio...

One of the largest
horse festivals in the world.

[ Chamber music playing ]

[ Indistinct conversations ]

This'll loosen you up.

AGATHA: Oh, Sarah.
What are you doing here?

Perry invited me.
Have you seen him?

Yes, I have.
He's here somewhere.

Wandering around looking puce.
No idea why.

Oh, I hope you don't mind,
I've borrowed James.

Oh, go ahead. Borrow away.
He's very good.

I wouldn't have missed it
for the world.

Still don't quite know

how we got roped into it
in the first place.

Oh, don't be silly.
You're gonna smash it.

Sarah, tell me,

why was Perry at the vicarage
the other day?

I'm... I'm afraid I can't say.

We... We spoke
in the strictest confidence.

Oh, come on!
It might be relevant.

I mean,
is it to do with tonight?

No, I-I'm sorry, Agatha.
I can't. I can't.

AGATHA: Right.

[ Sighs ]

Don't let Perry
out of your sight.

All night.

We won't.

[ Door closes ]

BILL: Hey.

Hi.

What are you two doing here?

We thought you'd appreciate
a subtle police presence.

Just in case.

Please.
No more shoves.

Not tonight.

AGATHA: I promise.

Well, you seem
a little more relaxed.

Yes.

Yes, it's Jerry, actually.
He's been almost civil.

Maybe my ploy worked
after all.

It's been rather nice.

He, uh... He took me for lunch
after the spa

and made quite the fuss.

It was just like the old days,

when we bought
this house together.

We were madly in love.

Right.

Here's a question.

Has Jerry
always been into horses?

Jerry? No.
No, he suffers them.

He can ride, though,
can't he?

- Ride what?
- Horses.

[ Laughing ]

[ Continues laughing ]

[ Laughing ] Jerry?

Jerry?

On a... On a horse?

Not in a million.

He's allergic to the things.

[ Laughs ]

Charles told me when he was
talking to Felicity yesterday,

Jeremy Laggat-Brown came out
to the stables

and said he was taking
Comet for a ride.

But given what his wife said,
that don't make no sense.

No.
It really doesn't.

[ Dog barking ]

FELICITY: Hello!

Hello!
Hello!

Oh, my God, it's Red!

Wait, how does he know you?

Oh, he was a stable pup,
but we lost him.

That's it.

He's been trying to make
his way home the entire time.

Um, thank you all so much
for coming back.

Uh, we thought we'd do
the speeches in here this time

and, um,
make the announcement ourselves

to save our parents
from having to do it.

[ Laughter ]

PERRY:
So if you would all join me

in a happy birthday toast

to the most beautiful lady
I've ever seen in my life,

a woman that I can't wait
to marry.

To Cassandra.

- To Cassandra!
- To Cassandra!

[ Applause ]

Please welcome to the floor
George and his partner, Agatha.

[ Tango plays ]

- AGATHA: We need to talk dates.
- Mm!

Not those kind of dates.
I'm talking diary dates.

You had to go
and spoil the mood.

Has Felicity just come back
from being away?

Yes.

- Where's she been?
- Uni friends in London.

Do that often, does she?

Now and then.

And was she away last week?

Yes.

She was, in fact.

I have to go.
Sorry.

GEORGE:
But... no.

What about our dance?

Meet my stand-in.

There's something's wrong
with Tiggy.

- I'm coming with you.
- No.

You stay here
and keep an eye on Perry.

Come on.

[ Laughter ]

[ Door opens ]

Come on, darling.

AGATHA:
Excuse me!

Where exactly
are you taking her?

She's just had a few too many,
clearly.

Just having a lie-down.

No, no, no, no.
She's not going anywhere.

Tiggy, look at me.
Have you taken pills?

What has that got to do
with anything?

Just a couple
of antidepressants.

I've been feeling a bit down.

Bill, check the bedroom.
Call an ambulance.

Don't you dare.

I will decide what's right
for Tiggy, thank you very much.

I'm her husband.

That's not all you are, though,
is it?

Come on out.

I know you're here.

Felicity.

[ Cheers and applause ]

Enjoying your sordid
little affair, are you?

The Camargue.

Siena.

Even though you hate horses.

I've no idea
what you're talking about.

Oh? Really?

BILL: Agatha?
Pills.

Identical to the ones we found
on Harrison Peterson.

AGATHA: Huh!

I'm talking about you
knowing Johnny Sullivan

from Perry's dad.

I think you tracked him down
and hired him to kill your wife.

Felicity here prompting
the premature fireworks.

- What?
- You're so out of order.

No, I'll tell you
what's out of order.

You having Perry's dad killed.

I think
he put two and two together

after you tried to
bump off your wife.

And you didn't want anyone
to find out,

so you had to get rid of him,

using his death
to cover your own tracks.

And then you sent Sullivan
after Agatha.

But fortunately for me,

Sullivan had a bit
of a sweet tooth, didn't he?

All this for her, eh?

Oh, Jerry.

Me and Jerry?

You've got it so wrong.

Really?
Have I?

Because I spoke to your father,
and you know what he told me?

That you were away at exactly
the same time as Jeremy was.

And another thing...
Unlike him, you love horses.

[ Applause ]

[ Tango plays ]

- PERRY: Oh, sorry, sorry.
- CASSANDRA: Okay.

- PERRY: Ah! Sorry.
- CASSANDRA: Oh! Oh. It's okay.

[ Exhales sharply ]

- I didn't mean to. Sorry.
- Wait!

I can't let you do this.
It's killing you.

I don't need you to tango
to prove you love me.

I know you do
because you were prepared to.

Wait.

WOMAN: Just keep going!
It's nothing!

- [ Music stops ]
- MAN: Solo!

- [ Two-tone music plays ]
- What's going on?

Come on.
You know.

[ Cheers and applause ]

Why would I be into Jeremy?

Well, I'll tell you why.

Because if Tiggy dies,

Cassandra stands to inherit
the fortune but not the house.

And if you two are together, all
of this will be yours again...

The house,
the stables, Comet.

[ Gasps ]
Imagine.

Worth putting up
with him for?

This is ridiculous!
It's nonsense!

Hey!

Oh, fancy that.

A corrie dukit...
A left-hander.

Harrison's suicide note

written by someone of
the left-handed persuasion.

What's going on?

I still miss her, Dad.

And it just feels like
you've forgotten about me.

The only thing I have left
of her is this house and Comet.

Which is why you hatched
this little plan with Jeremy.

The only way you could think of
to get your home back.

It's transactional, isn't it?

- Am I right?
- JEREMY: No.

It's not about that.
We love each other.

Really?
You poor deluded man.

Who do you think you are?

GEORGE: Felicity?

I never wanted to leave.

Mum died, Dad.

And this was all we had.

And you can have it again,
my darling.

Don't!

I don't want you!
I've never wanted you!

How could I?!

I've been your daughter's best
friend since we were little.

Do you see the lengths I have
to go to just to get back here?

I never wanted to go.
I just... I want to be here.

[ Crying ] This is my home.

[ Police radio chatter ]

GEORGE: I'm sorry.

I never realized how much I was
asking you to give up by moving.

- You must have been so alone.
- [ Crying ]

I'm sorry.

[ Rhythmic clapping ]

PERRY:
But what will your mum say?

CASSANDRA:
I don't care!

[ Cheers and applause ]

Care to share?

Perry came to see me.

He needed to confess his doubts
about the deadly dance.

But he needn't have worried.
They're gonna be just fine.

[ Cheering ]

[ Cheering fades ]

[ Down-tempo music plays ]

All she wanted
was to come home.

ROY:
Don't we all?

Bit harsh.

Especially as I've asked Gustav
to turn the heating on.

Praise the Lord.

You can always come
and stay at mine if you like.

Oh, spoilt for choice
all of a sudden.

That's very kind, but I'm not
really a vicarage kind of guy.

[ Dog barks ]

And as for you,
well done on the dog.

Thank you.
Well done on the murders.

Thank you.

Team effort.

God, we're good.