Afflicted (2018–…): Season 1, Episode 7 - Chapter 7: Well - full transcript

𝒯𝓇𝒶𝓃𝓈𝓁𝒶𝓉e: 𝒮𝒽𝓊𝓉e𝓇

I've been battling illness
consistently for ten years.

And my idea of wellness is

different than an
able-bodied person

that hasn't been sick

the way I have.

What does health mean to you?

Health is being well enough
so that you can do stuff

and not think about it too much.

It's to be free of the pain.

And... free of the fatigue.



Preserve the health
that I've regained.

To be recovered,

and to be, like,
back in society.

I can be around people.

Be able to tolerate being around
family members or friends.

You can be with people.

You can have, uh, maybe
in the future, a job.

Doing the things I didn't
realize I was missing before.

That's what wellness would
mean to me, to be cured.

Are you going to get better?

Good morning.

So, we can do your
heart-rate variability now.

She's gonna put a
band around you.

I can't really lean forward.



And we also need to do this one.

- I know.
- Hooked maybe?

- It doesn't hook or unhook.
- Okay.

Here. I'm handing this to you.

- Got it?
- Yes.

What you're supposed to do
to get the mycotoxins out

is you're gonna drink charcoal,
clay, and cholestyramine.

So...

Cholestyramine, it's not
tolerated well sometimes

by chemically-sensitive
patients.

- I'll have to put up with it.
- The compound runs $280 a bucket.

- Wow!
- You can pay for a bucket.

- Can I have a quick chat with her?
- Oh, sure.

- Can we just step in here?
- Sure.

- I'll meet you back in a second.
- Okay.

You can head to the bathroom. I'll
put a big towel for you there.

You can change your clothes.

So, she spat out a
lot of numbers.

- What?
- Like, big numbers.

- For tests.
- I know.

It's $700, $300.

- Yeah.
- This is that, that is this.

Yeah.

- I just worry about...
- I don't...

how we're going to manage...

But my thought is, like, let
me just really get on it,

like, do everything she said,

and then see how I feel.

I feel like the point
is to get relief,

and, like, get on my
medications right.

There's a lot of things going
on in my head, Â all panicky.

She's saying, "Quit your job
and move to the Vineyard."

You know, she's talking
about not being in a place

that's going to
increase my toxicity.

I already know I have
to make a big change.

I'm starting to be ready
to leave New York.

It's dirty.

I am living proof that environmental
illness can totally be resolved.

A big reason is because I had to make
a decision that I don't want to die,

and I'm gonna stay in
a clean environment.

I'm a New Yorker, and I'm
living on the Vineyard.

It's called survival.

I think that I will get
better and stay better

if I don't live in New York.

Obviously I don't care about...

the house more than
I do your health.

- Right.
- That's a given.

But if it's something
that we can...

- Put off doing.
- Put off or should put off.

Point is is that the sooner
we get the house in order,

the sooner we can start to
get into a position to...

- sell it and move on.
- Get the fuck out of here?

I don't think that necessarily us staying
in the New York Metropolitan area...

- for long is a good idea.
- No...

Obviously, your health
is more important,

which is why I'm like,
"We'll leave New York."

All right. Well, let's go
get some priority from her.

The only way she could
really get better

is by leaving the
New York City area.

Well, thank you for that.

People ask me often.

Okay.

You know, "Why did
you stay with her?"

If you found the
love of your life

and they got cancer three months
later, would you have left?

The answer is no, unless you're,
you know, a total jerk.

I am in this with this
person for the long haul.

A day with a sick Jill

is better than a
day with no Jill.

Do you think you'll ever
be fully recovered?

Based on my prior experiences
with other patients,

I expect to see just as many
improvements over the next four months,

probably more, as what we've
seen in the last two.

As long as we keep nourishing
your body at this point,

all we really can expect
is you to recover.

Let's see about getting
you into the real world.

- Hi, Drew.
- Drew.

- Nice meeting you.
- Awesome. Nice to meet you, too.

I've really gotten stronger.

I can tolerate more places,
and you know what else?

I can be around people that
have perfumes and fragrances.

And I've got a copy of
our script here for you.

Everything I've done so
far, it's really working.

Everything has
made a difference.

And here you go. We're rolling.

Actualmente, no existe cura para
la enfermedad de Alzheimer.

- It sounds really cute, actually.
- Yeah.

No, yeah, it does. It
sounds really cute.

AsegĂşrese de hablar con
el médico del studio

sobre las preguntas que tenga.

How does it feel to
be able to act again?

Oh, my gosh. I mean,
how does it feel?

Okay. Here you go.

Faith is a big part of healing
because the mind is where it starts.

It just goes to show you
how powerful the brain is.

There is a clear linkage or
integration of the mind and the body

in every human.

Gracias por participar.

Beautiful.

- All right. Got it.
- Yay!

- Good.
- I can sing to you, too.

Okay.

It just feels great to be
able to be yourself again.

It feels great to be able to do some
of this stuff that I once lost.

But I'm gaining back.

Can you tell me what
the current state

of your relationship
with Pilar is right now?

Pilar is...

Well, we had a lot of... A lot
of things have happened, but...

There's no relationship at all.

She asked me not to
communicate with her.

This mess is kind of...

Is kind of like our... the
way things are right now.

Do you think that you guys
are going to get a divorce?

I know that she wants one.

To use her words, she
said that her love died.

- So what's next for you?
- I don't know.

One thing for sure though,

I know in my heart that I gave
everything that I possibly could.

Wherever she's at now is a
result of all of my efforts.

I don't have any regrets.

I still care for her and
I want her to be well.

Do you have any thoughts
about your wellness journey,

about this process?

This process?

Well, okay, so...

People are gonna have their
opinions regarding my story,

and I'm okay with
that, you know?

Maybe it will plant seeds in
positive ways for the right people.

So, you have some signs that
I recognize very clearly.

You may very well
have Lyme disease.

You doing all right? One
minute down, one to go.

Five, six, seven, eight, nine.

Seven, eight, nine...

Yeah.

- I don't know why this makes me giggle.
- Five.

Six.

Up!

Boom!

- All right!
- Nice work!

- I don't know. I feel strong today.
- Good!

When I went to the
Sophia Health Institute,

the plan was to go for a one-
to two-to three-week intensive.

I did two, then followed the instructions
to continue the work here from home.

I'm supposed to get infrared
sauna twice a week,

colonic one to two
times per week,

and then liver support will be
coffee enemas and castor oil packs.

That helps flush the liver.

What I'm doing right
now is a lot,

but I'm doing it because I'm
dedicated to my health.

Do you feel half as
good as you look?

I'm feeling pretty good for me.

- Yeah.
- I'm waking up with energy and...

Unreal.

You know, like, my brain
even is more balanced.

Like, I feel organized.

It's the European style
of medicine that detoxes,

eliminates, and remediates,
like, every day.

It's giving you what you're...

you're receiving, that
your body is enjoying.

Oftentimes, I'd be taking
so many supplements,

and I didn't really feel
much of a difference.

What I'm doing now is
just a different program.

I'm treating myself in a different
way and boosting my immune system.

And I'm finding I'm
getting results,

and that's all that matters
to me is the results.

I feel really good about
the path that we're on,

and if we did not have kind of a
natural approach to everything

ever since we met until this very moment,
who knows where we would be, you know?

To watch her come through
is like a miracle,

because there's been
tremendous breakthroughs

where now her healing crises
is a healing journey.

I'm feeling like we're getting ready
to break through to a new level

with the vibrancy that
she's starting to gain.

I'm on a journey

to heal my body.

My symptoms...

headaches, nausea,
pain, Â fatigue...

went way down.

I've had more energy
and more stability.

I feel a calming to
my dystonia symptoms.

Continuing to build
up my immune system,

I think that can lead
to a full healing.

That's my goal.

Detoxification has to
be a lifelong strategy.

This is not that you
go for two years

and then you're done.

This has to be a daily practice.

For the first time in
a long, long time,

I feel hope.

And I'm more grounded,
and more energized,

and more excited about
life in general.

And I'm truly, like...
I'm so blessed.

Okay. This arm.

We're gonna do this arm.

Do you have decent veins?

No.

All that weightlifting...

We'll get some blood.

I was definitely surprised
about Gordon's opinion.

The truth is it's extremely
difficult to diagnose ME.

It's much easier to dismiss the
disease like so many doctors

and people in general
frequently do.

135, 87, 85.

I still believe that I have
ME and for good reason.

I have been diagnosed
with ME by other doctors.

It's important to know that while
I greatly respect Dr. Gordon,

his is merely one opinion.

Happy birthday to you

- Happy birthday to you - No.

Happy birthday dear Jamison

Uncle Jamison

Happy birthday to you

Light show. These look pretty.

Look at those.

- Look at that.
- Oh, cool.

- You could throw that against the wall.
- And it wouldn't break. Nice.

Sesson. Nice.

I want to see the stars.

I wanna see the stars.

You want to see the stars? Yeah.

Can we come down now?

Here we come.

Being better would mean being
able to rely on my body

to take care of itself again.

Ideally, I hope I'll be
100% healthy again someday.

Stars.

Honestly, I don't care
about how I got sick.

As long as people recognize
and legitimize what I have,

then it doesn't really matter
what my illness is called.

All I really care about is feeling
better and getting my life back.

Have you reconciled yourself

to the fact you might not be
able to be back in New York?

I don't know.

I mean, in my darkest moments,

I think, like, "Oh, maybe I would
just, like, go there to die."

The data shows that using
ozone under pressure

really clears the
disease almost totally.

So what we're essentially
trying to do

is to activate your
own stem cells.

We have seen with our treatment is
that patients are not as sensitive

to the mold as they were.

Right.

Instinctively I thought,
"This is dangerous for me."

Then I thought, "Let me fact-check this
with the smartest patients that I know,"

and I asked them,
"What's the deal?

I'm being offered this
incredibly expensive treatment

that I wouldn't be able
to afford on my own.

Should I do this?"

And they were all like,

"Sorry, kid.

Not for you,

not in your moldy situation."

I really wanted it to be

this answer that's
gonna heal you.

Like, of course I want that.

But it's not a thing
that I should be...

fucking with at this point.

I'm gonna go talk to him
about which way to come in.

You to watch that side and
I'll watch this side.

Isn't it majestic?

- Yeah, so big.
- I don't mean to be dramatic,

but it's majestic.

We met this guy out in Tucson

who is building me
a safe trailer.

Now we have...

the option of, you
know, putting it here,

which is a little tricky.

Living in the van is
becoming dangerous.

It's like hundreds and
hundreds of degrees,

and then at night
temperature drops.

I don't have the immune
system to handle that.

I mean, obviously, this is good because
it's further away from the house.

You smell.

What, bad?

- It's okay.
- All right.

They called it MECU,

Mobile Environmental

Containment Unit.

It's basically just a safe space

for people that can't tolerate

living in, you know, even
minimal levels of mold.

Oh, it's beautiful.

And then there'd be a shower in there.
The shower is in there.

It's a vent, so when you're
showering, moisture will go up.

So you just lift it. See?

The cactuses have
never looked so nice.

What do you think?

It's beautiful.

This bicoastal situation with the
desert and Harvard makes sense.

I will go on a leave of absence
for the next semester.

Nick and I will be changing
places each semester.

You know, obviously, we
want to have a home,

but home is where
Rebekah can breathe.

And there's a TV. So, here's
the keys to your trailer.

My ideal situation would have been
able to find, like, safe housing.

I wasn't able to do that.

I needed a safe indoor space,

and the trailer is, like, a...

No, the trailer is that.

Sickness isolation is a sickness in
and of itself. It becomes an illness.

Most people do not get locked in

to either an emotional problem
or a physical problem.

And when they do,
that's a huge problem.

I don't want to be known for being
sick and being fucking homeless

in my pajamas in the desert in the
worst state that I could imagine.

That's not my personal
American dream.

I haven't made peace with it because
it's just too heartbreaking.

Okay, Carmen.

- So...
- Do you hope for a cure or a treatment?

There is not going to
be a pill that makes me

able to go to...

to use a cellphone or fluorescent
lights or all these things.

I...

There is not going to be.

The pill is non-exposure.

At home,

I'm not healthy,

and I want more.

The leaves are changing.
It's so pretty.

There's breathtaking views
every time you turn around.

Green Bank is so unique.

You're so much at home here.
I'm so glad you're here.

Over here, I get a relief

of not feeling

all my symptoms all the time.

I am healthy here.

I need carrots, bananas, and
pick up the cheddar cheese.

I could be a little longer
in the grocery store,

even though they have
fluorescent lights.

Oh, good. The paper's here.

Oh, is that the new one?
Okay, I'll get that. Yeah.

That is wonderful.

It's a rest.

I need the bananas.

That's probably good.

I feel so good today.
I feel so good.

It's even more
refreshing, more...

It's like I'm young again.

I can put my sign back,

and sometimes, I wear it inside.

We don't need it right now.
Okay.

I can have a life here one day,

but I cannot come
here right now.

I have family ties at home,

and I don't want to
be the absent mother.

I have that feeling little
bit of abandoning them.

And I need to be
with my husband.

He's my soulmate.

I couldn't do...

many things I do
now without him.

He's helped me a
lot through this.

So I'm sad to leave,

but I'm happy to see
my family, so...

I guess I'm lucky.

So, my plan is to
move here gradually.

Thank you, Diane.

No, don't get up. Thank you.

I have to wait

until my kids leave the nest.

I have to wait until
my husband retires

to make a permanent,
permanent move.

Now I'm positive because
I see new possibilities.

I could be here,

detoxifying for a while,

and then I could go back home and
not be in pain all the time.

And in a few years, our
children have their own lives,

and me and my husband, we can
have our own little life here.

That is hope.

What do you wish that everyone
could understand about you?

I wish everyone

could understand that I don't
want platitudes about my illness,

that I don't want people to tell me
that everything's gonna be okay.

I don't want them to tell me that,
you know, Â it's just time and,

you know, all these platitudes
that don't mean anything.

About a month after I
left the Hansa Center,

my symptoms were still
progressing pretty dramatically.

I was practically comatose.

I started to feel maybe...

maybe I'm not gonna get better.

Maybe something else
is going on, you know?

So, I finally got the blood
test from the Hansa Center.

You know, I had certain
heavy-metal toxicities.

Detoxifying those is
extremely difficult.

It's really hard to get those out, so
we have been heavily focusing on that,

on top of killing the bacteria which
release these toxins when they die.

I just think it was too much for
my body to take on right now.

So we're taking it a lot slower,

which has made me functional.

That's been the main difference.

Good girl!

Good girl!

Hansa Center definitely is treating
the Lyme and coinfections.

I mean, I'm taking
things called Lymogen,

you know, which is for Lyme.

Paragen, which is for parasites.

Borrelogen,

which is for Borrelia.

They are treating the Lyme disease, and
they are treating the coinfections,

but that isn't the only focus

Like, everything else that I'm taking
is helping strengthen my immune system.

Sticking with my protocol
and continuing to treat,

even when I was feeling the
way that I was feeling...

I am so glad that I
decided to do that,

to continue treating

and to trust my doctor.

Had I quit,

I don't even know where
I'd be right now.

Better doesn't mean well.

Better doesn't mean
really good...

but better means where he can
at least get out of bed,

he can speak, he can
prepare his own meal,

and on really good days, he
can even do his own shopping.

Little glimpses of wellness
are like the Fourth of July.

We're gonna sing "Happy Birthday" to
Grumpy. He forbade me to do 60 candles.

Happy birthday to you

Happy birthday, dear
Dad Happy birthday...

Jake is actually
beginning to have

longer periods of actually
being more of himself.

- Happy birthday.
- Thank you, son.

You made my day.

I'm having conversations
with him,

and it's happening
more frequently.

I'm so glad.

- I love you.
- I love you, too.

Yeah!

My depersonalization, you know, I still
have some pretty dramatic days...

Yes!

But I think I'm coping
with it better now.

Brayden has helped me
figure out the patterns,

and she's been completely
understanding about everything,

because this illness, you know,

she already told me it's not
something that comes between us.

I wanted to show Brayden that no
matter what's going on in our life,

no matter how
horrible I'm feeling

that, to me, she
still comes first.

I'm not gonna let this
illness take that from me.

And so, you know, I got
dressed up in a suit,

and I made her a fancy
dinner and dessert,

and I proposed to her.

She cried and said, "Yes."

I love the idea that
they are engaged.

And for Jake to propose to
her while he's this sick,

that's so encouraging
for all of us, I think.

We've already got a date set,

so I just feel hopeful
about the future now,

about spending my life
with the woman I love,

you know, and with this new
appreciation I have of family.

And so I've actually been able
to start hoping to feel better,

because I've started
to feel better.

How's it going?

Good.

You wanted to talk title?

A few months ago, I wasn't even sure
if I'd be able to score "Final Space,"

but now I've reached a point
where it's stable enough

that I can prepare for it and
prepare my co-composer, Shelby.

The trailer idea, and
then the MH3 song on that

that I might need
your help with.

I wasn't feeling super well for
the last couple of trailers,

but, God, do I want to
make a trailer song,

- like, really badly.
- Yeah.

Knowing that he's creating
music again is...

It does this
mother's heart good.

Making sure that this
is the right key.

It's just so awesome to see
him being himself again.

I really do feel like I have hope
for the first time in a long time.

This was the first
song that I worked on

when I started feeling well
enough to work on music again.

I was feeling better.
It's called "Spark."

I was just feeling...

sparky, I guess.

Yeah.

I learned a lot about
myself through my illness.

I was living as a narcissist.

That is not okay.

And this illness reminded
me that my family,

they've always
been there for me.

They've always loved me,

and I needed to show them
that I loved them, too.

My life is just different.

It's just different,
and it's better,

and that happened because I got
really, really, really sick.

And as weird as it sounds, I'm
just really thankful for that.

Nobody really wants to be sick.

The role of being a sick person

is undesirable for most people.

Patients are not trying to
come in and waste your time

and tell you that they feel
horrible just to tell you that.

Whether it's from bacteria or
parasites or viruses or fungus

or if it's in your head...

It's just as real.

There are plenty of people
who have physical symptoms

that are being generated
by their brain.

It's not in their head. Literally,
it's originating in their head,

but there are messages being sent
between your brain and your gut.

If you perceive pain,

but you have no obvious
physical source for pain,

you still experience pain.

When people are suffering,
they're suffering.

Being validated as a
human being is critical.

We have to really open up
the world of possibility

and evaluate these
people as individuals

and be willing to open
our minds to saying,

"We don't know what's going on,
but these people need help."

What they want is they
want to get better.

𝒯𝓇𝒶𝓃𝓈𝓁𝒶𝓉e: 𝒮𝒽𝓊𝓉e𝓇