Adventures of Superman (1952–1958): Season 6, Episode 13 - All That Glitters - full transcript

Professor Pepperwinkle isolates a dose of kryptonite called "Positive K", which winds up giving Lois and Jimmy the same types of powers as Superman.

NARRATOR: The
Adventures of Superman!

Faster than a speeding bullet.

More powerful than a locomotive.

Able to leap tall buildings
at a single bound.

MAN 1: Look! Up in the
sky! MAN 2: It's a bird!

WOMAN: It's a plane!
MAN 3: It's Superman!

NARRATOR: Yes, it's Superman,

strange visitor
from another planet,

who came to Earth
with powers and abilities

far beyond those of mortal men.

Superman, who can change
the course of mighty rivers,



bend steel in his bare hands,

and who, disguised
as Clark Kent,

mild-mannered reporter for a
great metropolitan newspaper,

fights a never-ending battle

for truth, justice and
the American way.

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You, uh, sent for us, chief?

Yes.

Uh, this is Mr. Salem,
secretary of the treasury.

How do you do?

Mr. Carter, president of
the International World Bank.

Gentlemen, Miss Lois
Lane and Mr. James Olsen,

two of my reporters.

I-I was just showing them
this... This pound of gold



I made in my laboratory.

Gold? You made it?

Astonishing, isn't it?

Just think, ever
since medieval times,

the alchemists and scientists

have been trying to
transmute base metal into gold.

And I'm the first one who
ever found how to do it.

I still can't bring
myself to believe it.

Oh, it's gold, all right.

You tested it yourself with
acid a few minutes ago.

Pure 24-karat gold.

But, uh, you didn't
say how you made it.

Uh, now, now, Mr. Carter.

Professional secrets, you know.

But how do we
know you didn't just

go someplace and buy that?

Oh, I can vouch for the
professor, gentlemen.

While he's invented some
strange things in the past,

they've always worked.

And I've never known
him to tell a falsehood.

Kent's right about that.

If Professor Pepperwinkle
said he made that bar of gold,

you can depend on
it. He really made it.

Then I guess
there's no doubt of it.

But tell me, professor,
how long did it take you?

Oh, not very long.

After all, I only
made this one pound.

More than $500 worth of gold

and he acts as
if it didn't amount

to a hill of beans.

Professor, could you
make more of that?

Oh, tons of it.

That is, if I had
enough raw material.

Scrap iron and various
other ingredients.

[GIGGLES]

No trouble at all.

Mr. White, this is the
most alarming invention

I've ever heard of.

If he starts making
gold by the ton,

do you realize what will happen
to this country's economy?

Why, our monetary
system would be shattered,

and Fort Knox would
become a ghost town.

Not only that, it would destroy

the international
banking structure

and throw world
trade into a panic.

That's why I asked you
gentlemen to this conference.

When the professor told
me about making this gold,

I realized it could
ruin the nation.

And you wouldn't want that to
happen, would you, professor?

Oh, gracious goodness, no.

Imagine turning Fort
Knox into a ghost town.

Oh, dear, dear. That
would be dreadful.

It sure would.

Professor, for the good
of the United States...

For the good of
the entire world.

We must ask that you
forget this invention.

And promise never
to use it again.

They're absolutely
right, professor.

You mustn't make any more gold.

Well, all right, if you say so.

I won't make another bit.

Good. Good, good.

Uh, now, gentlemen,
if you'll excuse us,

we have an appointment.

I have to get back
to Washington.

Goodbye, gentlemen.
Thank you for your courtesy.

Thank you so much for coming.

Remember, I don't want
one word of this to leak out.

And that goes double for you,
Mr. J. "Blabbermouth" Olsen.

Oh, cross my heart, chief.

I won't spill a word.

Golly, professor,
I never thought

I'd live to see the
day that I'd be sitting

with the man that
could turn rusty old iron

into 24-karat gold.

Oh, it's really no
trick at all. [GIGGLES]

In fact, I'm surprised I
didn't think of it before.

LOIS: Jim, you better
remember what Mr. White said.

You're not even supposed
to be talking about it.

Nobody's listenin'.

Besides, as long as
the professor's promised

not to make anymore
gold, what's the difference?

You can at least
lower your voice.

JIMMY: All right.

When that professor-type
character leaves his friends,

we'd better make sure he
gets home safe and sound.

Why, Mr. Mitchell here's
got one of the kindest hearts

you've ever seen, professor.

If I was to shoot you right
now, he'd be terrible sore at me.

Well, ha-ha, I'm
certainly glad to hear that.

But sore or no sore,
I'm gonna plug you

unless you make
us a batch of gold.

Now, now, Elbows, take it easy.

We don't wanna
be greedy about it.

All we want is, say,
a couple of tons.

A couple of tons?

Why, that's over, uh,
uh, $2 million worth.

We'd be satisfied with that.

With $2 million, me
and Elbows could live

like millionaires.

Without it, you
might not live at all.

I won't do it. I refuse.

You're pretty fond
of that young reporter

on the Planet.

Um, now, let me see,
what is his name...?

Oh, uh, Jimmy Olsen?

Surely you wouldn't
harm him or Miss Lane.

Well, uh, we wouldn't want
anything to happen to 'em,

but I am afraid their health

might take a sudden
turn for the worse

if you don't make
that gold for us.

Well, what do you say?

I say this is blackmail.

Call it whatever you like.

Well, I can't let
anything happen

to those two young people
on my account, can I?

Of course you can't.

And I don't suppose
a mere $2 million

would upset the
economy of the world,

even if it were...
Were in gold, would it?

No, no, it wouldn't.

Of course it wouldn't.

Well, then I guess
I'll have to do it.

Now you're talkin', professor.

Yeah, but I'll have
to have raw materials,

scrap iron and various
other ingredients.

It'll, uh... It'll
all cost money.

Don't worry your
head about it. Here.

Here's 10,000 bucks.
Buy whatever you need.

Ooh, 10,000 bucks? Are
you sure you can afford it?

You make me $2
million worth of gold,

and there will be plenty
more where that came from.

When will the stuff be ready?

Well, I can't make
two tons overnight.

The machine will only turn
out about 10 pounds a day.

How much is that in cash?

Uh, let's see, that's a...

That's... That's a
little over $5600.

Almost $6000 a day.

Wow.

That will be quite satisfactory.

We will be back the
same time tomorrow

to pick up the first batch.

And something better
be ready, understand?

Yes, indeed.

[♪♪♪]

Yes, something will be ready.

[GIGGLES]

Well, good morning, Mr. Kent.

Why the gloomy look?

Oh, the chief's trying
to send me out of town

to cover a convention.

Golly, what's the
matter with that?

A free trip with
all expenses paid.

I wish he was sending me.

I wish he'd send you too.

Personally, I'd
rather stick around

and keep a weather eye
on Professor Pepperwinkle.

Oh, you worry too much.

Yes, but I've got
a curious feeling

that something's
about to happen.

How can anything happen

when we're keeping it a secret?

[CHUCKLING]

Well, and if it did,

Superman would take care of it.

Well, I'm sure he would, Jimmy,

only with me
being out of town...

What's the difference?

You're never around
when Superman's around.

It, uh, does look
that way, doesn't it?

And incidentally,
why all this interest

in the professor?

Do you have an inside tip

or something?

No, no, just sort of a hunch.

Oh, by the way, uh,
the professor called,

you know, while
you were both out.

What did he say?

Oh, you know him, he's so vague.

It was something about, uh,

for the both of
you not to worry,

he'd attend to it personally.

Uh, oh, I gotta be
going. I'll see you later.

Attend to what?

Hey, I'd better
call the professor.

I've got a better idea.
Why don't we go see him?

All right, let's.

It's so peaceful around here.

It doesn't seem as there
could possibly be any trouble.

Anything the
professor's mixed up in

can be trouble, Jim.

Well, Miss Lane, Mr. Olsen.

[CHUCKLES]

Come right in. Come in. Ha-ha.

I don't want you to
worry about a thing.

No cause for alarm.

Everything's gonna
be quite all right.

I'm not the least bit upset,
and there's no danger apparent.

And I have no intention of
going back on my promise

to the secretary
of the treasury.

Whoa, professor.

They've been here.

Who's been here, professor?

Two men with guns.

And they want you to
make some gold for them.

Two million dollars' worth.

Uh, how did you know?

Oh, it figures.

Somebody must
have had a big mouth.

And, uh, I guess I know
who that bigmouth is.

You?

Me. Those two guys
in the next booth.

Don't worry about it, Mr. Olsen.

[GIGGLES]

They're never
gonna get the gold.

But you said they have guns,

so obviously they're
dangerous men, professor.

I'm sometimes a dangerous
man myself, Miss Lane.

[GIGGLES]

Although you might
not think it to look at me.

Let's not be silly about this.

The first thing we've got to do

is get Superman
right on the job.

No, no, no. Don't
bother about him.

Don't bother about
that. Now, I... Oh, here.

I want to... I want to
show you something.

Uh, just here. Now, here.
Just, uh, look up there.

Do you see those
two, uh, sandbags?

Well, that's another
one of my inventions.

I call it the automatic
crook-stopper.

You see, when my two
guests arrive tomorrow

for their first batch
of gold, I simply...

Oh, I just maneuver
them into this position.

Right under the sandbags, huh?

Exactly. And then:

Isn't this, uh, sort of
Rube Goldbergish?

Exactly. Hee, hee, hee.

But effective.

And while they're completely
unaware of their peril,

I simply... press the button...

[MACHINE BUZZES]

Oh! Jimmy!

Oh, goodness gracious me.

[♪♪♪]

Oh, the poor boy. Oh, Jimmy.

Here, here, here, here.
Help him, professor.

Jimmy, are you all right?

Oh, I guess so.

Oh, dear, how can I
ever forgive myself?

Oh, it's okay, professor.

Does it hurt, Jim?

Only when I breathe.

Now, professor, what
about those crooks

that are forcing you
to make the gold?

Well, it's, uh, not
important, really.

Not important?

But we've gotta get in
touch with Superman.

Well, we won't need him.

We don't need him? No.

You see, I've made
an amazing discovery.

Oh, no, not another one.

Yes, Miss Lane.

I've discovered
what gives Superman

his super-powers.

You what? You have?

Yes, indeedy.

Now, we know that
Superman originally came here

from the planet Krypton
before it exploded, right?

Yes.

We also know that the explosion
scattered billions of particles

of the element
kryptonite in outer space.

Sure. Kryptonite's
the only thing

that can take away
Superman's super-powers.

It's just a good thing
that practically none of it

landed on the earth,
or he'd be in a bad way.

Yeah, he certainly would.

[GIGGLES]

Well, it just so happens,

I accidentally
discovered a supply of it

right in my backyard.

You did?

Yes. And when I put it
through some scientific tests,

what do you
suppose I discovered?

It's actually made up
of two different kinds:

kryptonite-positive
and kryptonite-negative.

What do you know about that?

And I also found out that
it's Negative Kryptonite

that's capable of
harming Superman.

And do you know why?

Because he's charged
with Positive Kryptonite.

Then it's the
Positive Kryptonite

that gives him his super-powers.

Yes, and the Negative Kryptonite

destroys those powers

because it neutralizes
his positive charge.

Well, that figures.

But what good is
it to know all this?

I mean, of what use is it?

Oh, there's a great
deal of use, Miss Lane.

Here, let me show you something.

Now, you see this, uh...
This machine right here?

Well, this, uh...

This separates, uh,
Positive Kryptonite

from Negative Kryptonite.

It destroys the negative kind,

which is harmful to Superman,

and it purifies
the positive kind.

Now, let me show you.

[BUZZING]

Now.

Now, here.

You, uh...

Now, these tablets are
positive-type kryptonite

in pure form.

If a person swallows
one of these,

he'll be just like Superman
and can do anything he can do.

Have you taken any of them?

[GIGGLES]

Oh, dear, no, no.

It wouldn't be scientific

for a scientist to
experiment on himself.

Well, then, how do
you know it works?

I'll show you.

[GIGGLES]

Come on, little one.
Come out of here, now.

Come on. Yeah,
yeah, that's right, yeah.

Now, I fed this little mou...

Stop that.

I fed this little mouse

a 100th of a
milligram of kryptonite.

Now watch.

[SQUEAKING]

[GIGGLING]

Be quiet now, be quiet.

Now, see, kryptonite
changed a regular mouse

into a super-mouse.

Golly, Miss Lane, if we
took those kryptonite pills,

we could capture
those two crooks

as easily as Superman.

And just think, what
a way to get stories.

If a tip came in, bingo,
we'd fly there to cover it.

And Clark Kent could
never scoop us again.

Then... Then you'll, uh...

You'll try them?

Well, it didn't hurt the mouse,

how can it hurt us?

I don't feel anything, do you?

Frankly, no.

Well, here, here.

Uh, see... See if
you can bend this.

[CREAKS]

Oh, golly.

Here, you try it.

[CREAKS]

Ooh.

Well, for goodness' sake.

Well, tell me, professor,

do you know where the two crooks

have their hideout?

I don't know
anything about them,

except they gave me
$10,000 expense money.

Ten thousand dollars. Golly.

Let's see that a minute.

They're all new bills, Jimmy,

and with the bank
wrapper still on them.

Well, that's nice,

but what difference does
it make how old they are?

It might make a
lot of difference.

It says "First National Bank."

We better pay them a visit.

Why don't we fly there?

How else?

Uh, the door's over
there, Mr. Olsen.

This way's better.

[LAUGHS]

How do you like that?
Just like Superman.

Come on, Miss Lane.

Here I go. Whee!

[AIR WHOOSHES]

[♪♪♪]

Mr. Goldby, this is
Miss Lane and Mr. Olsen

from the Daily Planet.

We've met before I think.
How do you do, Miss Lane?

How do you do? Mr. Olsen.

Hello, sir.

Well, now, just what can the
First National Bank do for you?

Miss Lane and Mr. Olsen
flew in for some information.

Flew in?

Well, yes.

We were wondering if one
of your regular depositors

recently withdrew $10,000

in new $100 bills with
consecutive serial numbers.

Why, yes, such a withdrawal
was made only yesterday

by Mr. Buggs Morgan,
the eminent gangster.

I suppose you have his address.

Oh, yes.

Mr. Morgan uses the
Acme Warehouse Company

as a front.

Well, thank you. That's
all we need to know.

Uh, care to have any money?

No, thank you.

But may we use your window?

Why, of course.

We only put up
the bars at night.

[♪♪♪]

I thought only
Superman did that.

Superman and Lois
Lane and Jimmy Olsen.

[♪♪♪]

It's locked.

Hey, wait a minute, if
we're just like Superman,

maybe we have x-ray vision.

And super-hearing. Let's try it.

Okay. Concentrate.

[♪♪♪]

Two tons of gold
is 2,240,000 bucks.

That's the 2,240,000th
time you figured it out.

Just like to be sure.

I still think we should have

brought the professor
and his goofy machine

here with us,

instead of leaving
him at his place.

What time was it yesterday
when we dropped in on him?

Around half past 2.

It's 2:00 now.

That first batch of gold
ought to be about done.

Yeah. Let's go.

Shall we take them, Miss Lane?

Allow me.

Look, they knocked the door down

just like Superman.

Don't just stand
there, do something.

[FIRING]

The bullets bounce off
them, just like Superman.

That's because we
are like Superman.

And you two crooks
are washed up.

Allow me, Miss Lane.

Be my guest.

[GROANING]

That will teach them to
fool with Super-Olsen.

You find some
ropes and tie them up,

I'll call the police.
Right, Miss Lane.

[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]

[GIGGLES]

[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]

[♪♪♪]

JIMMY: Professor?

Ohh!

Oh, this is terrible.

Terrible. Are you all right?

What?

What's that?

Is your head all right?
Does it hurt, Jimmy?

My head?

Oh, it's okay, I guess.
But what happened?

Help me get him up.

I remember.

I got conked on the
head by these sandbags.

What did you rig up
the sandbags again for

when we already
captured those two crooks?

What are you
talking about, Jimmy?

We didn't capture any crooks.

Well, sure we did.
Don't you remember?

W-we took those kryptonite pills

that made us just like Superman.

Kryptonite? What kryptonite?

The ones you invented.

I didn't invent any kryptonite.

Sure you did, and
then we crashed

through this wall over here...

Well, it's all fixed up,

but how did you
repair it so quickly?

I didn't need to.
It didn't need it.

You never crashed
through the wall.

I did too.

Just like this. I'll show you.

Well...

Maybe the pill is wearing off.

Jim, we didn't take any pills.

You mean that we didn't
bend that iron bar and...

And fly through the
air like Superman?

We got here just
a few minutes ago.

The sandbag fell down,
knocked you unconscious,

and we've been trying
to bring you to ever since.

Getting hit in the head

must have given
you hallucinations.

You must have been dreaming.

I can't believe it.

Oh, no.

I thought we left
you two tied up

at the warehouse.

This guy isn't thinking
very clear, boss.

Tie 'em up.

All right, professor,

where's our first batch of gold?

Oh, I haven't made it yet.

Uh, I figured my sandbags
would knock you out,

and I wouldn't have to.

Well, you figured wrong.

Now get busy and
start making that gold.

Otherwise it's gonna be
very unhealthy around here

for your friends.

Yeah. Real unhealthy.

Oh, dear, dear.

Well, then, I guess
I have no choice.

That you haven't.

Now get busy and
start making that gold.

This time we're gonna watch you.

All right, all
right, if you insist.

[MACHINE SQUEALS]

Geh!

Now, uh, first we
put in the scrap iron.

Yeah, these, these.

Oh, yeah. Then we
got these two here.

[CHUCKLES]

Oh, yeah, ha-ha-ha.
These go in too.

[GIGGLES]

Oh, that's it, ha.

Oh, now, now,
mustn't forget this.

What's that stuff?

Uh, apple cider.

It's a very
important ingredient.

[STEAM BLOWING]

Oh, yes, yes. That reminds me.

Here, these... These go in too.

Uh, peanuts.

Shells and all?

Shut up. He knows
what he's doing, I hope.

Look, dad, when's
the gold come out?

Oh, just as soon...

Just as soon as I, uh...

I put in this... This
bar of platinum.

Did you say platinum?

Yes, indeed.

That's the only trouble
with my invention.

To make $5000 worth of gold,

I have to use $10,000
worth of platinum.

You mean that gold costs
more to make than it's worth?

Yeah. We lose $5000
on every ten-pound bag.

[GIGGLES]

Did... Did I forget to tell you?

Holy smokes, boss.

If he makes us two tons
of gold, we'll go bankrupt.

Stop the machine. Turn
it off before I go broke.

Oh, I'm afraid it's
too late for that now.

[BEEPING]

[MACHINE SQUEALING]

See, see, see, here you are.

Here's the... The
gold's already made.

Pure 24-karat. Ha, ha.

Ten pounds.

You gypped me.

Tie him up with the rest.

We're gonna get even with him.

We sure will.

Ooh.

How will we get even?

Get that dynamite
out of our car.

Kent, what are you
doing back in town?

I thought I sent you to
cover that convention.

Missed my plane.

Missed your plane?

Yes, sir, but...
But it's all right.

I phoned long
distance, and I found out

the convention doesn't
start till tomorrow.

So I just came on
back to the office.

Well, it's probably
just as well.

Now you can go out

and try to find Lois
Lane and Jimmy Olsen.

Why? What's happened to them?

That's what I'd like to know.

They left here several
hours ago without a word

and haven't been back since.

Pepperwinkle, I'll bet you.

What do you mean,
"Pepperwinkle"?

I'll see you later, chief.

People come and
go here all day long

and tell me nothing.

[♪♪♪]

You mustn't do that.

You'll ruin my
gold-making machine.

Yeah, and everything
else in here,

including you and your friends.

Come on, let's get out of here.

Yeah. Hey, boss.
Let's take this with us.

Ah, we might as well
save something out of them.

[♪♪♪]

[AIR WHOOSHING]

Oh, dear, my... My poor
gold-making machine.

Broken beyond repair.

[GROANS]

But I guess the... The process
was too expensive anyway.

Are you all right, Miss Lane?

Thank heavens
you're here, Superman.

How 'bout Jimmy?

[LAUGHS]

Oh! Ha, ha, ha.

Miss Lane, will you
please release Jimmy

and the good professor here?

I have to go catch those crooks.

[AIR WHOOSHES]

I did not faint.

I was just so tired from doing

all those Superman
stunts in that dream I had

that I fell asleep.

[GROUP LAUGHS]

I did!

Well, anyway, Superman
captured the crooks,

and the good professor here

isn't going to make
any more gold

at three times what it's worth.

No, indeedy. Ha, ha!

I certainly won't.

Well, now that that's settled,

suppose you two go out
and start writing the story

for the next edition.

Including my dream?

Definitely not.

Let's face it, Jimmy.

Like I said, none of us
will ever be able to do

the things Superman does.

I guess not.

But golly, Mr. Kent,
you'll never know

how wonderful it is
to be like Superman.

No, Jimmy, I... I
guess I never will.

[♪♪♪]

NARRATOR: Don't miss
the next thrill-packed episode

in the amazing
Adventures of Superman.

Superman is based
on the original character

appearing in Superman magazine.