Adventures of Superman (1952–1958): Season 1, Episode 4 - Mystery of the Broken Statues - full transcript

A notorious con artist and his thugs are going to all the antique shops in town, buying cheap figurines, and smashing them. Clark and Lois assume that they are looking for something hidden inside the figurines, so they investigate.

[♪♪♪]

NARRATOR: Faster
than a speeding bullet.

More powerful than a locomotive.

Able to leap tall buildings
at a single bound.

MAN: Look! Up in the
sky! MAN 2: It's a bird!

WOMAN: It's a plane!
MAN 3: It's Superman!

NARRATOR: Yes, it's Superman,

strange visitor
from another planet

who came to Earth
with powers and abilities

far beyond those of mortal men.

Superman, who can change
the course of mighty rivers,



bend steel in his bare hands,

and who, disguised
as Clark Kent,

mild-mannered reporter for a
great metropolitan newspaper,

fights a never-ending battle

for truth, justice and
the American way.

And now, another
exciting episode

in the Adventures of Superman!

[♪♪♪]

Afternoon.

Can I help you?

Possibly. We'll look around.

Hey! What's the big idea?

How much are they?

Fifty cents
apiece, but that's...



I count 10.

That will be $5.

Nothing?

Thank you, sir.

Hello, Miss Lane. Greetings.

Good heavens! What happened?

Craziest thing.

Two fellows walked in.

One was a nice-looking
gent carrying a cane.

I just can't believe it.

It's like in a dream where
everything gets smashed up.

You mean someone
did this deliberately?

The fellow stood right here
smashing them on the floor.

Ten of them. Here's the money.

You mean he paid for them
and then smashed them?

No, the little one smashed,
then the big one paid.

It's cuckoo.

Oh, you want your pitcher, huh?

I had a little trouble
with the handle,

but if you lift it
carefully I think it'll hold.

Thank you. Glad to do it.

By the way, I'm sorry
about the breakage.

All I'm sorry about is

they didn't smash
some of the $50 vases!

Oh, by the way, do you
have you any China egg cups?

China egg cups?
No, I'm afraid not.

Try Edwards on Front
Street. He'd have them.

Oh, no!

Wasn't no bull in
the china shop, lady...

Don't tell me, I'll tell you.

Two men walked into the
shop, a tall one and a short one.

The short one smashed them

and the tall one
paid for the statues.

How did you know? I read minds.

Thanks.

[CAR ENGINE STARTS]

And that was about 4:30.

I see.

Yes, you told me.

Busy?

Come in, Mr. Kent.

You're just the
man I want to see.

Nine.

Uh-huh. Well, thanks a lot. Bye.

You look like you've just
won the Pulitzer Prize.

Mr. Kent, I have just stumbled
onto the wackiest story

this side of a nuthouse.

Now, get this.

At 3:00 this afternoon,

two men walked into
Bonelli's Artcraft Shop...

And smashed a lot of
cheap plaster statuettes.

Well, how do you know?

Oh, I get around.

Now, don't be difficult, Clark.

They've done the same
thing in seven places,

and I have a list of 12
more here still to check.

Is there a "Davis Brothers,
416 Kingsley Drive"

on your list?

Yes.

Well, Mr. Davis called.

It seems they went into his
place and smashed 14 statues,

and he wants us to
send a photographer

and shoot the wreckage
for free publicity.

What do you make of it?

Well, obviously they're
looking for something.

How big are these things?

Oh, not very big.

White plaster, real cheap.

All the same?

Sort of. Animal subjects.

Horses, cows, dogs, cats.

Clark, will you be a good sport?

Mmm?

I have a hunch there's a story

behind this
statue-breaking binge.

Now, let's buy some of
them and see what's inside.

Here, you cover five of
the places and I'll cover six.

Oh, Lois.

Where's your
spirit of adventure?

This is silly.

Now, look, I'll be home
after I check my places.

If you hear of anything
exciting, let me know.

[SIGHS]

DORN: That's the dame, boss.

Follow her.

Uh, wait a minute.

If we're going to follow her,

we'll have to get
Pete and Charlie

to cover the rest of the shops.

We'll lose her if
we don't move fast.

It'll be getting dark.

Go ahead.

We'll call from
wherever she stops.

[ENGAGES HANDBRAKE]

That's her car. This
must be where she lives.

There's a drugstore
on the corner.

Call Pete.

Have him cover the rest
of the places with Charlie.

I'll wait here for you.

Right.

Eureka!

[RINGING]

Hello.

Clark, I found something!

CLARK: You did?

LOIS: I bought 15 of the
statues and guess what:

in the last one I found
a small brass key.

And that's not all.

They'd already been to
two of the places on my list.

Hmm?

Now, it doesn't make much sense,

but at one of the
places, MacVey's,

the owner saw them
pick up a small acorn

and a little toy automobile,
and at another...

Now, wait a minute, Lois.
I want to write that down.

LOIS: Yes, and a
little toy automobile.

And at the other place,

I think it was the Art Mart,

they found a safety pin
and a small dried-up onion.

Just a minute now. Safety
pin, and a small onion.

LOIS: Sounds crazy, doesn't it?

Maybe not.

How did you make out?

Well, they'd been to
the four places I checked.

I haven't checked
the fifth one yet.

It's clear across town.

I'll call them as
soon as you hang up.

Oh! Getting interested, huh?

Mm-hm. Sort of.

They find anything
at your places?

Yes, they found a dollar
bill and a little plastic cow.

It gets crazier and crazier.

I want you to hide
that key that you found.

I'll get back to you later.

Okay.

[LOIS SCREAMS]

[STATUETTES SMASHING]

[TELEPHONE RINGING]

Elite Gift Shop.

This is Clark Kent
of the Daily Planet.

We're checking on two men

that have been going around
town smashing statuettes.

Oh, yes, they're here now.

Having a wonderful time.

I have 19 of those
horrid little things,

and if they hadn't smashed
them, sooner or later I would have.

Call the police and
have them arrested!

Oh, now, really.

They're not
committing any crime.

Why, they've paid for
the little monstrosities.

Let them smash them.

Very well.

That was a newspaper reporter.

He told me to have you arrested.

For what? Oh, don't worry. Here.

You can smash every
solitary thing in the shop,

so long as you pay for them.

[♪♪♪]

Okay, let's go. Thanks, chum.

Don't mention it, gentlemen.

Come again when you're
in a destructive mood.

My name is Kent. I'm
a newspaper reporter.

I'd like some
questions answered.

Out of the way, chum.

Call Inspector Henderson
at police headquarters.

Goodness gracious!

But what am I going
to hold them on?

I don't care.

Disturbing the peace,
willful destruction, anything.

There's one thing you
newspaper boys have got to learn.

You can't take the law
into your own hands.

Now, look, Inspector...

This time, Kent, you
pulled a real boner.

Those two guys may beat
their crippled grandmothers

five times a day and
ten times on Sunday.

They may be murderers
and second-story men,

but in this case, so far
as the law is concerned,

they haven't done a thing.

Just smashed 19 statues.

They paid for them.

And what about the 3 cents
they found in one of them?

Big deal.

The statues cost them 9
bucks and they get back 3 cents.

Oh, they can get
real rich that way.

I'm sorry, Kent.
Have to release them.

Now, just a minute.

Even if it's certain
from the descriptions

we got from various shopkeepers

that the tall, smooth
one is Paul Marden,

one of the top confidence
men in the world?

Law, Kent, the law!

What has he done
to break the law?

We don't know... yet.

Until we do, we can't hold them.

MAN [OVER INTERCOM]: Yes, sir.

Release those two
guys we just booked,

and fill out Form 114,
and tell O'Brien to see to it.

[BUZZING]

Great Scott!

Lois!

Lois?

Get me police headquarters.

After you, Miss Lane.

Sit down, Miss Lane.

Please.

Believe me, I deeply regret

exposing you to
these, shall we say,

uh, disreputable surroundings,

but I am afraid you have
no one to blame but yourself.

Never mind the sweet
talk. Get to the point.

There is only one point.

Where is the key you found
in one of those statuettes?

Aren't you tired of asking
me that same question?

You'll discover that I
don't tire easily, Miss Lane.

Nor does my associate.

You interfered in something
that was none of your business.

You stuck your
pretty, inquisitive nose

into a matter that
concerned you not one whit.

I know. Curiosity
killed the cat.

We may have to
kill more than a cat

before we're through.

Don't threaten me!

Dorn! Leave her alone!

Look, let's get
one thing straight.

That key belongs to me.

I paid for the statue
it was in and I own it.

And you and your friend here

can threaten me until
the cows come home,

but it won't do you
one solitary bit of good.

Nick? Paul Marden.

Get the plane ready.

We're going up to the mountains
to do a little persuasion job.

Right.

Yes, what is it?

MAN [OVER INTERCOM]: Fingerprint
report on Miss Lane's apartment, sir.

Bring it in.

I'm sorry, sir. There
were no prints.

You mean to say...?

Oh, never mind.

Well, how do you like that?

Marden's too smart to
leave fingerprints around.

That place looked
like a cyclone hit it.

You'd think there'd
be a print somewhere.

What difference does it make?

We know it was
Marden and his men.

Fingerprints won't
help us locate Lois,

and I have a horrible feeling

if we don't find her
soon, it may be too late.

[CAR ENGINE SPLUTTERS]

Cops.

On the floor.

You folks need any help?

No, thanks.

The wire to the distributor
head popped out.

It's okay now.

All right. Goodnight.

Goodnight.

[WHISTLES]

That was a close one.

Get moving!

[SIGHS]

Now, we know that all
the statues were shipped

from one European factory.

We also know that Marden
found seven objects in the statues,

and they were an acorn, a
safety pin, a toy automobile,

a little plastic cow, an onion,
a dollar bill and three pennies.

Doesn't make any sense.

Must be a code of some sort.

I haven't had a chance
to work it out yet,

but I've got an idea.

[INTERCOM BUZZES]

Yes?

MAN: We've got one of
Marden's men, Inspector.

Oh, bring him in.

Swing that chair
around, Kent. You bet.

Okay, leave him here.

Well, sit down.

Ain't you guys getting a
little tired looking at me?

Sit down!

Take off your hat.

Where's Marden?

How would I know?

You're a two-time loser.

Armed robbery in '39,
and felonious assault in '44.

You know what happens
if we clip you now.

Well, I didn't do nothing.

You broke into Miss
Lane's apartment.

That wasn't me! Who was it?

I-I don't know.

Okay, punk.

You want to play
tag? We'll play tag.

You better take the south gate.

You can drive
right up to the plane.

Okay.

[TIRES SCREECH]

Once more.

Where does Marden
go when he holes up?

I told you, I don't know.

Okay, you asked for
it. You're gonna get it.

You'll be a three-time
loser and go up for life,

if we have to frame you for it!

No, you can't do that!

Where's Marden?

Well, he's got a place
up in the mountains.

Where?

Rock Hollow.

Is he there now?

I don't know.

He told the guy
who runs his plane...

Plane? Yeah.

Where does he keep it?

Ramsey Airport.

Hey, Kent, wait a minute!

Can't wait, no time!

[♪♪♪]

Keep Miss Lane up at the
lodge until you hear from me.

If you're nice to her,
she might play canasta.

Could be.

Happy landings!

[TIRES SKIDDING]

There.

Well, we have an artist
in our midst, Inspector.

Well, at least it will
give you an idea.

The objects Marden and his
men found in the plaster statuettes

make up what's known as a rebus.

And here's how it works.

That's an acorn...

plus "pin."

Now we subtract "car."

Now we add "moo" for cow.

Now we subtract "onion."

O-N-I-O-N.

Now we add a dollar.

And we subtract 3 cents.

Which leaves 97.

Now, what have we got left?

P-M-O 97.

CLARK: P-M-O 97.

Let's kick that
around a little bit.

P-M-O 97 doesn't
seem to mean anything.

What about M-P-O 97, hmm?

Don't look at me. I
flunked simple arithmetic.

What about P-O 97? Let's
leave the M out for a moment.

Well, it could be
Post Office 97.

Either a box or a substation.

Well, good girl.
Now we'll add the M.

It is a box!

Post Office Box 97, Main Branch.

CLARK: That's right.

There's something in Post
Office Box 97 at the Main Branch

that Marden has gone
to a lot of trouble to get.

Well, what are we sitting
here for? He's got the key.

Because the Post Office doesn't
open till 7:00 in the morning.

And I'll be there in person

to help Mr. Marden
open that box.

[♪♪♪]

You're under arrest, Marden.

LOIS: Inspector, must you
take so long? Let me do it.

Relax, Lois.

We need a screwdriver.

We'll break it open.

No, no, no. Wait, wait.

LOIS: Oh, no!

Is this what we've been
beating our brains out for?

No, Inspector.

This.

It's a ruby!

The Rensselaer Ruby.

That's right. The
largest ruby in the world.

Stolen three years ago
from the London Museum.

What a story!

Thanks to Kent here.

And to Superman.

Like I always say,

two heads are better than one.

[♪♪♪]