Adventure Time (2010–2018): Season 5, Episode 49 - Bad Timing - full transcript

[Mouse squeaks]

[Penguins wenk]

[All cheering]

[Screeches]

♪ Adventure Time ♪

♪ Come on, grab your friends ♪

♪ We'll go to very distant lands ♪

♪ With Jake the Dog
and Finn the Human ♪

♪ The fun will never end ♪

♪ It's Adventure Time ♪
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[trumpet playing]



[Applause]

[Sighs]
Whew!

Ladies and gentlemen,
I have invented time travel.

This phasical sphere
is flooded

with info waves that scan
every second,

logging every molecule
that passes through its volume.

I made special gloves for it.

[Sphere whirring]

Now check it out!

It's logging time!

[Both babbling]

[Spits]

[Both babbling]

I'll set the clock
back now.



[Clock beeps, whirs]

[Both babbling rapidly]

Now I'll push
the time-travel button.

BOTH:
Aah!

[Both babbling]

Eh, it's not really
time travel, though.

You just, you know,
moved their stuff around.

You didn't really
manipulate time.

Ice King's done it better
before with magic.

I enjoyed your presentation
very much, Princess.

Thank you for inviting me.

No!
For all intents and purposes,

they traveled back to an earlier
point in their time.

Eh, I guess,
but not really.

I mean, Ice King did it
for real.

Guy pulled
his fiancée out of time

from a thousand years ago
using magic.

Hey, Time, where's
my fiancée, am I right?

[Bell jingles]
- [Chuckles]

Jake, don't deny
my science!

This is a time-travel
machine.

Hyah!

Take me back to when
my ex-boyfriend Brad loved me!

[Shouting]

- LSP.
- What?

LSP, that's not
how it works.

It can only rearrange
your molecules

into a previously
logged formation,

and you need these gloves.

- Give them to me.
- No.

You witch.
Give them to me now!

No, I'm sorry, but you need
to pull yourself...

You skunk!

- Hey!
- You skunk! You skunk!

You pretty skunk!
You don't know heartache,

with the whole Candy Kingdom
in love

with your
pretty Bubblegum buns!

Aah!

[Babbling, breathing heavily]

Hear me,
Lumpy Space Princess,

I will avoid declaring war

on the entirety of Lumpy Space,
ruled by your parents,

if you apologize to me
immediately!

I'm sorry-y-y-y-y-y.

I'm sorry you're so stupid.

BOTH: Whoa!
[Both laugh]

Sheesh.

TREE TRUNKS:
♪ I'd love to get you ♪

♪ on a slow boat to China ♪

♪ All to myself ♪

♪ Alone ♪

Everyone in here is a loser.

Nobody's as good as Brad.

Oh, Brad!
Why can't I get over you?

Have you tried burning
an effigy?

That's what they do
in movies.

This isn't a movie, Charlie!
It's real life!

[Sighs]

Another cucumber water,
your majesty?

[Gruffly]
What?

Oh, l-I'm sorry for staring,
but, uh, I know you.

W-We used to...

Everyone knows me.
I'm Lumpy Space Princess.

No, uh, from high school...

W-We were lab partners.
I'm Johnnie.

"Ugly Johnnie"?

Y-Yeah, you used to call me
that quite a bit.

Yeah.

But I can't call you that
anymore.

Come on. Sit up straight.
Let me see them eyes.

- Mm.
- Do it.

Nope.

Can't call you that anymore.

[Laughs crazily]

So, what brings you to
the Candy Kingdom, Johnnie?

Business, uh, actually.

I own my own company, bottling
and distributing lumpy gas.

Mm-hmm.

And I'm up for a big contract,
uh, here in the kingdom,

which could really help
my business "take off,"

so to speak.
- That's so cool.

You're like your own boss
or whatever.

To be honest,
I'm a little nervous

about this meeting
tomorrow.

Why, Johnnie?

I'm bad at talking to
people.

That's because you have
poor posture.

- Really?
- You got to stop slouching.

Now look me in the eye!

Yeah, stay like that.

Boy, LSP.
[Chuckles]

You sure are making me
feel good about myself.

You feeling good makes me
feel good, Johnnie.

So, where are you
staying while you're in town?

I'm subletting a friend's
apartment.

Talk is cheap, Johnnie.

You should take me there.

[Doorknob turns,
keys jingling]

That chair?

Oh, it used to be over there,
but I moved it.

Johnnie, it's so nice.

You've really made it
your own.

- Thanks.
- Ooh! Records!

[Laughs]

Okay, want to see
something funny?

- Yeah.
- Okay.

[Laughing]
Okay. Sit down.

Okay, are you ready?

[Chuckles]
Yeah.

[Laughs]
Okay!

[Laughs]

It's his face,
but on your body.

I know! That's the joke!

My friend Melissa and I
came up with that.

[Chuckles]
You're smart that you get it.

Boy, when this evening
started,

I was feeling so dump trucks,

but now it's like
a hundred forklifts!

I feel the same way,
Johnnie.

Do you feel this couch?

[Chuckles]
What?

'Cause it's where you're
gonna sleep!

[Both laugh]

Seriously, it's getting late,

and I don't want you walking
home, so I insist.

I'll be in the other room,
sleeping peacefully...

and dreaming about you.

Johnnie!

Thank you for everything.

Johnnie.

Go to bed already.

You have a big day tomorrow.

Good night.

Rise and shine!

I hope you like pancakes,
'cause I got...

oh.

I guess she'll be the one
who got away.

Looking for someone?

- You're still here!
- 'Course I am.

Now make me some breakfast.

Okay, Johnnie, good luck
at your meeting,

and remember,
I'll be right over there

sending you good vibes

while you're wowing
Princess Bubblegum.

[Echoing]
Sending you good vibes.

Yo. Why are you
so confident, man?

Aren't you nervous to meet
the Princess?

Nope. My GF Is back at my place,
sending me good vibes.

[Crowd cheering]

Johnnie's friend has
so many movie channels.

Ha-ha!
That movie was so dumb.

Oh, poop! Johnnie's meeting!

Wonder how it went.

[Light switch clicks]
Johnnie!

[Gasps]
Oh, Johnnie, you're home!

How'd it go?!

Oh, don't keep me
in suspense, Johnnie!

I did it, babe!
I landed the sale!

Johnnie, that's wonderful!

And I couldn't have done it
without you.

I know!

And here's the best part...

she wants me back
at the castle tonight

to go over the contracts
during a royal dinner.

Oh, my glob!

It's gonna be so nice to have
dinner inside the castle.

It's been awhile.
- Oh. No.

L-lt's a business meeting,
not social...

just me and the Princess,
I'm afraid.

- What?!
- LSP?

So, Bubblegum thinks she can
horn in on my territory,

sip from my soup after I cut
all the onions?

Yo, think again, tranch.

Who... who are you
talking to?

So, how are you
enjoying your time

in the Candy Kingdom?

Oh, it's just great.

I met this amazing purple girl
at the Candy Tavern.

That's wonderful, Johnnie.
Now, tell me...

Oh, Johnnie.
"Ugly Johnnie."

Through my tender love,
you have metamorphed

into beautiful
Johnnie butterfly.

[Sighs]

Every relationship,
I gamble with my heart.

I go all-in because the payoff
is true love.

I see you
when I close my eyes.

And thinking of you makes
my mind feel light.

All my problems fade away,
and I can't help smiling.

[Chuckles]

To let someone you love go
into the arms of another

takes a big person.

I don't know if I can
be that big.

[Match strikes, flames ignite]

[Grunts]

Aah. Aah.

[Gasps]
We're under attack!

Can I help?

No, hide yourself
beneath the tablecloth.

There's cyanide-laced gum
under the table.

Chew it if you hear raiders
break down the door.

Okay.

Hi, Johnnie.

[Gasps]
What are you doing here?

I'm going to time-travel you
back

to when we first met
at the tavern,

back to when you loved me,

so we can have
a second chance.

What?

[Thunk! Whir!]

Aah!

[Whir!]

[Laughs]

Manfried, where
are the banana guards?!

Take a chill pill, Princess.
I handled it.

What did you handle?

You know. Someone drove
their car in the door,

but no one was driving,

and it exploded,
so I handled it.

Mm.

Don't chew it, don't chew it,
don't chew it!

[Grunts, gasps]

[Sphere whirring]

♪ I'd love to get you... ♪

Johnnie?

Come on. Sit up straight.

Let me see them eyes.

[Chuckles weakly]

- Uh...
- BUBBLEGUM: He's not here.

[Gasps]
What?

But I sent him back.

The sphere would've had
to log his molecules

before you engaged
the time-travel function.

Well, then where is he?

I don't know.

[Crying]

Then if he's gone,
can you send me back

to before I met him

so I won't have to remember
this heartache?!

If that's what
you want.

Do it. Do it!

[Thunk!]

[Clock beeping]

[Whir!]

[Squeak! Thunk!]

You witch!
Give me them to... what?

What? Where are we?

You asked me to
use this.

Don't touch me!

You pretty skunk!

You don't know heartache,
with the whole Candy Kingdom

in love with your Bubblegum
buns!

[Sighs]

[Sphere continues whirring]

♪ Come along with me ♪

♪ And the butterflies
and bees ♪

♪ We can wander
through the forest ♪

♪ And do so as we please ♪

♪ Come along with me ♪

♪ To a cliff under a tree ♪

This party is so crazy!
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