Adventure Time (2010–2018): Season 5, Episode 32 - Earth & Water - full transcript

♪ Adventure Time ♪

♪ Come on, grab your friends ♪

♪ We'll go to very
distant lands ♪

♪ With Jake the Dog ♪

♪ and Finn the Human ♪

♪ The fun will never end ♪

♪ It's Adventure Time ♪

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"Sumo scootz!"

Vroom! Vroom!

Reee!



Winner!

Whoo!

79th consecutive victory!

In your face!

You okay, buddy?

Still bummed out about
Flame Princess?

Hmm.

I know what'll fix you up.

Girls' night out, boy style.

First, we'll go to the salon,

get your hair did and
your nails all...

Wait, no.

First, we'll go to the shops,

get you a brand-new hat.



Then we'll...

A burglermur!

The Ice King?!

Grr!

Ugh.

Geez, you couldn't
wait two seconds?

Ugh.

Why are you stinking
up our house?

Didn't you get my text?

It said I'm staying
with you guys... oh.

Didn't go through.

Well, anyways, I knew
you wouldn't mind,

since it's sort of your
fault I'm homeless, right?

Right.

'Cause you tricked your crazy ex
into melting my Ice Kingdom...

Mm-hmm.

With your lies and secrets.

Remember when that happened?

Dude, you can't stay here
if you're gonna stank it up

with your bad vibes, man.

Yeah, I'm just crashing here
while the penguins rebuild.

I've given Gunter
temporary reign.

Should be fine.

Flame Princess isn't crazy.

You're blind, Finn.

You're blind!

Wait, she isn't here, is she?

No.

Whew!

She said she wanted
time to herself.

Yeesh!

Yeah. Breakups are tough.

Heh. Yeah, like remember how
you and I were married?

Ugh! It's so confusing!

Hmm?

I thought Finn was a
stand-up guy, you know?

But he basically betrayed me.

Why do people even have secrets?

It's like that in the
Fire Kingdom, too.

Everyone is all deceitful
and Shakespeare.

But out here, it doesn't
seem any different.

Why do I have to feel like this?

And what is that noise?!

Gah!

- Unh.
- Eee!

Yeah, yeah.

Just act like I'm not here.

Are you spying on me?!

What?

No, of course not.

I was observing
you for research.

You're a threat, Flame Princess.

Your emotions are
directly linked

to your combustion levels.

But if I can create a scientific
model that describes your

complete elemental matrix,

I can isolate and suppress
your more volatile traits.

So, if you do your research,
you'll know how to cut off my

emotions so I won't
feel like this?

Um, yeah.

Basically.

Then I'll help you.

You will?

Yes.

I'll do whatever it takes.

Once I press this button,
you'll be subjected

to a battery of tests to gauge
your reflexes, stamina,

and your reaction to
various emotional stimuli.

This is going to help
me understand myself?

There's a 40% chance we'll
be able to identify

and isolate your chemical
components and, yes,

understand you in a
very scientific way.

Oh, that's good... I guess.

Initiate tests.

Yah!

Hello?

Princess, we need you and your
ball blam burglerbur right away!

Gunter has created a race of
strangling snow snakes or

"Snow-a-constrictors!"

Oh! Oh! Oh!

Yahhhh!

Okay, Cinnamon Bun,

all you have to do is
write down the numbers

that appear on this monitor.

Can you do that one thing?

Yes.

Oh, one other thing.

Do not open that door.

So that's two things.

Write down the numbers.

Do not open that door.

Got it?

Yes, Princess.

Hello.

Hello.

You look sad.

Yeah.

But mostly I'm confused.

Me too.

Really?

Yeah.

Bubblegum is bad.

She is?

I don't know.

Want to pet my dog?!

He lives at my house.

What about the tests?

I'm not good at tests.

♪ La-de-da-de-da ♪

His name is Jake, but
he's not the real Jake.

Oh. My body is soft.

We're friends.

Yeah.

I really get you.

But sometimes friends
are hard to understand.

Sometimes you think
you know them,

but you find out they're
just playing mind games.

Is the Princess your friend?

I don't know.

Yeah, because why did she
lock you up in jail when you

were a little baby?

That was a weird friend thing.

The word! The word!

What's the word?

The word is your newborn baby
will have greater powers

than you'll ever dream of!

Uh...

have my baby sent into the
wilderness of the outside world

to perish.

Okay!

Ah!

Oh.

Hup.

Ah!

Aw.

Ho ho!

Wa-a-a-a-a-a-ah!

Castle!

What's this?

A Princess?

Must have wandered off.

Flame King!

What do you want, Princess
of the Gum World?

I found your lost daughter.

I-I don't remember
losing anything.

Okay, you got me.

I had her sent to
wander in the woods.

I was in fear of being usurped.
Come on.

That's your problem.

But you can't just let her
run around the woods.

She's too dangerous.

Find some way to contain
her power or I will.

Fine.

Ugh!

Is everybody in this
world hiding something?

It's fun to hide.

You're all right.

Why can't everybody
be honest like you?

Maybe I should just go
back where I belong.

Wait!

Do you mean baby jail?

I don't know, man.

Mm...

Fighting Snow-a-constrictors
really helped take my mind

off things.

So, uh, why am I here, again?

Oh, I just wanted to
measure Flame Princess's

reaction when confronted by
the guy who broke her heart.

Hey, Cinnamon Bun, I'm...

Cinnamon Bun!

There's a note.

"Gone to Fire Kingdom.
Please watch dog."

Well, this is terrible.

If Flame Princess
goes back there,

her evil Dad will
lock her up again.

And if she's imprisoned,

I won't be able to
complete my tests

and I'll have wasted
my precious time!

We got to save her.

Let's doogie!

State your business here,
and be quick about it.

Sorry.

I'm on edge 'cause I'm worried
that Jerry here will find out

I'm dating his sister.

Listen, we need to get
into the castle right now.

Yeah, but why?

So I can go to
your mama's house!

Now get out of my way.

Doesn't your mom live
in a nursing home?

Yeah.

And in a different city.

Come on, dude.

You got to be honest here.

Honest my fist!

Come on, Princess.

Oh, yeah!

Gonna scramble you and
fry you up for brunch!

I'm trying to act tough, but I
really wanted to be a chef.

Man.

Halt.

What is your business here?

I need to get inside
to file my taxes.

Also, I like using
the bathroom here.

Also, I like to crop
dust the lobby.

Pass, friend.

All right.

So, you want to get nasty?

One time I blew a snot bubble
that broke off and floated away.

Then it some lady's
baby in the face,

and it started crying.

And I really enjoy the
taste of envelopes.

Uh, that's cool and all,
but you still haven't

told us why you want to get in.

We need to see the King?

Well, why didn't
you just say so?

Right this way, friends.

Here you go.

The new Flame King.

Flame Princess?

Finn?

You're okay!

Um, how's it going?

Pretty good.

Cinnamon Bun and I staged a
coup and overthrew my Dad.

Oh, that's why the
guards were wigging out.

That is the new way
in Fire Kingdom.

Total honesty is the
law of the land.

No secrets.

Oh.

Right. Can you believe
this nonsense?

Once I get out of here, I'm
gonna ground you for real.

No snacks, no friends,
no popular music.

You never let me have
any of those things!

You were a selfish
King and a bad parent.

But I did it for you, honey.

For you not to overthrow
me like you just did.

You belong in that lamp!

And if you don't settle down,

you'll have to answer
to Cinnamon Bun.

Hi.

Wow.

She's even awesomer
than I remember.

Take off that silly hat.

We're going home.

No. Look!

Got a real dog now.

Flame Princess, listen, I'm
really sorry I lied and

hurt your feelings, and
I was a big, fat jerk.

Finn, it's okay.

It's in the past now.

So, does that mean
we're still going out?

No.

I've realized my place is
here ruling these weak

and vicious fire people.

I see.

But we're cool.

You're welcome to come back and
hang out whenever you like

if you promise me one thing.

Anything.

That you'll be completely
honest with me.

Okay.

I promise.

I'm serious.

Hmm.

♪ Come along with me ♪

♪ And the butterflies and bees ♪

♪ We can wander
through the forest ♪

♪ And do so as we please ♪

♪ Come along with me ♪

♪ To a cliff under a tree ♪

This party is so crazy!

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