Adventure Time (2010–2018): Season 5, Episode 23 - One Last Job - full transcript
Jake Jr. gets mixed up with some bad eggs, and Jake reunites with his old gang to save her.
[Mouse squeaks]
[Penguins wenk]
[All cheering]
[Screeches]
♪ Adventure Time ♪
♪ Come on, grab your friends ♪
♪ We'll go to very distant lands ♪
♪ With Jake the Dog
and Finn the Human ♪
♪ The fun will never end ♪
♪ It's Adventure Time ♪
Ripped By mstoll
Nice.
Little bird family on vacay.
Daddy's got the mad-beautiful
tail feathers.
Mommy's taking up the rear
all plain-Jane styles.
[Farts]
[Chuckles] Glad I get
to date a beautiful Rainicorn...
not some nasty bird.
Hey!
Don't be talking trash!
Our ladies are beautiful
on the inside, you creep!
All lady birds around
the whole world
are beautiful on the inside?
- Yes.
- Fair enough.
Special delivery
for Jake the Dog.
Cool. Thanks.
Hmm.
"Urgent."
Hold still, BMO!
Ouch!
I hurt my butt sledding.
Oh, dang.
Sorry, BMO.
Cool, man!
I'm excited!
[Static]
[Munching]
[muffled screaming]
What the heck
am I looking at?
[Spits]
Jake Jr?!
What's going on here?!
MAN'S VOICE:
Jake the Dog, we have your daughter.
She is safe for now.
What do you want
from me?!
We need you to reassemble
your old team
Gareth, A.K.A.
The Lady Master...
The Flying Lettuce Brothers,
notorious conmen
impressionists...
and your old friend Tiffany.
Globbit.
You will need them to break
into the royal candy vault
and steal this.
The baker's shard...
the purest source of sugar
in the known regions.
You are the only master thief
with the skills to swipe it.
You have until midnight
to make the drop.
Tell anyone,
and Jake Jr. Gets it.
BMO...
destroy the tape.
[Grunts]
Are we on the level,
BMO?
I ain't no clown-town snitch,
baby.
I don't want Finn
hearing about this.
All right.
[Beeping]
[Laughs]
Oh, Brunard, are you sure?
Yeah, babe.
I'm totally famous,
and you love me.
W-What's happening?
What am I feeling now?
You are under the spell
of my face.
I got you, girl,
in my face trap,
and you love it.
[Monotone]
I... do.
Brunard,
don't ever leave me.
I'll give you everything...
my fabrics,
my dress patterns,
my marbles,
my social standing.
[Beeping]
Whoops! I gotta go.
Laters!
Dine and dash? I saw that!
- Hey, boss, I wanted to...
- Shut up, Tonya.
I gotta see my ex-wife!
Ohh.
[Telephone rings]
Hello.
Squeezy Mart.
[As boss]
Tonya, this is your boss!
Wait.
You were just here.
Yeah! Now I'm on the phone,
stupid!
Hey, do you think
I could leave early?
I'm, like, depressed.
What you could do is take all
the money out of the register
and give it to the two guys
out back by the dumpster!
[Sighs]
Okay.
Then can I go?
- Yes.
Here you go, dudes.
[Normal voice]
Thanks, man.
- Peace.
- Goodbye, fair lad.
[Beeping]
The master returns!
[Squeaking]
[Breathes deeply]
[Beeping]
Well, well.
From the shadows of dream,
the dog wakes to find its...
uh...
the dog wakes
to find its mangy tail
flopping in the dust
like a fish in a tree.
That fish is me...
Tiffany!
[Laughs]
I'm coming, Jake!
I'm coming!
[Door creaks]
Hi, guys.
Were you waiting for me
in the dark?
Tiffany wouldn't let us
turn them on.
Never mind that!
The real question is...
what's that slo-mo Finn
know about this?
[Cymbals rattling]
Hey, BMO, where's Jake?
Jake got back
with his old gang
and is going to rob
the Candy Kingdom.
[Laughs]
Okay, BMO.
[Chuckles]
You want to join
my primitive noise band?
[Trumpets]
[Bells jingle]
Huhhhh?
No.
I like organized sound.
Pshh!
♪ [Off-key music plays] ♪
La-la-la!
Whoo!
Nah, BMO's covering
for me.
So, what's the deal, Jake?
Yeah, why'd you
call us back?
I got a job
for you guys.
One last score...
the big one.
The baker's shard?
[Chuckles]
Are you for real, man?
Hey, that's crazy, Jake.
We always said,
"play it safe."
Can't you see, guys?
He's desperate.
Somebody got to him
'cause he's soft now.
What the...
pshh!
Tiffany!
I'm the same Jake!
I just stopped stealing,
mostly.
Because when you get older,
you're supposed to get into
other stuff,
like graphic design
or pottery.
It's called "growing up"!
I don't wanna do poetry...
I mean, pottery.
Dude! Are you guys
on board or what?!
You really got something
better to do?!
Really?!
I know you don't, Tiffany!
Glom you, Jake.
How are we gonna split
the baker's shard?
We ain't keeping it.
I'm passing the shard off
to a mystery dude.
What the?!
The dude has my kid.
My little Jake Jr.
[Clears throat]
I'm in.
We're in.
I know that vault
inside and out...
every guard rotation,
every camera,
every deadly trap.
And that safe is
locked up so tight,
it makes me wanna
spit out my guts
and cry about it.
Do you even have a plan,
Jake?!
I have the first part.
Okay, let's freakin' do this!
[Keyboard clicks]
Captain, the milk delivery
has arrived.
Well, check them in,
Private.
Yes, sir.
And, Private,
I'm very thirsty.
Bring me back the most delicious
flavor they have.
Yes, sir!
[Scribbling]
[Static]
Huh?
Now, what in the heck?
MAN'S VOICE:
I'm back with your milk, sir.
What flavor did you bring me,
private?
Banana, sir!
- What?!
- Banana milk!
Blagh! No!
The forbidden flavor!
It's...
delicious.
[Voices adjusting]
It's... it's... it's...
[as Captain]
It's delicious!
[Feedback]
Attention, all guards!
You are directed to report
immediately to the courtyard
for special training!
Okay, do your thing,
man.
Just like old times,
right, Jake?
When we were blood,
we'd follow each other
into the jaws of death
on a pale horse.
Not now, Tiffany.
Come on!
[Grunts]
- Ugh!
Today, we'll be working on
our battle "keeyahs."
Okay, men! Sound off!
[All yelling]
[Yelling continues]
All right, soldiers, time to
shred those pipes!
I wanna hear you scream!
[All screaming]
[Screaming continues]
Louder! Push it hard!
[Screaming intensifies]
[Clock ticking]
[Alarm rings]
[Screaming stops]
[Both cough]
[Lock clicks]
[Doors creak]
The baker's shard is on
the other side of that...
the corridor
of a thousand deaths.
Whoa!
Whoa!
Whoa!
Yow!
- [Growling]
Wow!
Whoa!
[Breathing heavily]
[Snakes hiss]
Whew!
I did it!
For Jake Jr.!
MAN:
Stop right there.
You!
Where's my daughter?!
Throw me the bakers shard,
and I'll let her go.
Yeah, right!
That's super-dumb!
JAKE JR:
Daddy! Please do what he says!
Hang on, sweetie!
Ungh!
[As Jake Jr.]
Thank you for saving me...
[normal voice]
Daddy!
[Laughter]
[Gasps]
You dirty...
[laughs]
Now...
uh...
I'm the dog,
and you're the tail!
Now you chase me!
You chase my dreams!
[Alarm ringing]
Alert. Security breach.
Alert.
[Growls]
[Tires screech]
[Tires squeal]
Jake Jr.!
[Growling]
[Tires screech]
Oh, crud!
Jake! I love you!
I love yo-o-o-o-u!
Shut it, Tiffany!
Give me my daughter!
Ta-da!
I totally double-crossed you!
Jake Jr?!
What the puke, girl?!
GARETH:
Let's get out of here!
[Tires squeal]
What the funky fresh,
honey?
I just wanted to be
like you.
Mom told me stories
about when you did crimes.
That was a long time ago...
before I knew it was
wrong!
I thought you'd be
proud of me.
[Sighs deeply]
I am.
I couldn't have done that
when I was your age.
I age fast, remember?
I'm 22!
Right.
I keep forgetting maths.
What are you gonna do
about the old crew?
Finn and I will bust
their apples tomorrow.
Or maybe the banana guards
will get 'em.
TOGETHER:
Wee-ooh! Wee-ooh! Wee-ooh!
Come on.
I'll take you home now.
- I love you, pops.
- I love you, too.
Don't stinkin' do this
to me again.
I'm old and fat. I'll probably
have a heart attack.
JAKE JR:
Okay.
Wait a minute!
You're doing a long con
right now, aren't you?
No.
Yes.
Now I'm really proud of you!
♪ Come along with me ♪
♪ And the butterflies and bees ♪
♪ We can wander through the forest ♪
♪ And do so as we please ♪
♪ Come along with me ♪
♪ To a cliff under a tree ♪
Ripped By mstoll
[Penguins wenk]
[All cheering]
[Screeches]
♪ Adventure Time ♪
♪ Come on, grab your friends ♪
♪ We'll go to very distant lands ♪
♪ With Jake the Dog
and Finn the Human ♪
♪ The fun will never end ♪
♪ It's Adventure Time ♪
Ripped By mstoll
Nice.
Little bird family on vacay.
Daddy's got the mad-beautiful
tail feathers.
Mommy's taking up the rear
all plain-Jane styles.
[Farts]
[Chuckles] Glad I get
to date a beautiful Rainicorn...
not some nasty bird.
Hey!
Don't be talking trash!
Our ladies are beautiful
on the inside, you creep!
All lady birds around
the whole world
are beautiful on the inside?
- Yes.
- Fair enough.
Special delivery
for Jake the Dog.
Cool. Thanks.
Hmm.
"Urgent."
Hold still, BMO!
Ouch!
I hurt my butt sledding.
Oh, dang.
Sorry, BMO.
Cool, man!
I'm excited!
[Static]
[Munching]
[muffled screaming]
What the heck
am I looking at?
[Spits]
Jake Jr?!
What's going on here?!
MAN'S VOICE:
Jake the Dog, we have your daughter.
She is safe for now.
What do you want
from me?!
We need you to reassemble
your old team
Gareth, A.K.A.
The Lady Master...
The Flying Lettuce Brothers,
notorious conmen
impressionists...
and your old friend Tiffany.
Globbit.
You will need them to break
into the royal candy vault
and steal this.
The baker's shard...
the purest source of sugar
in the known regions.
You are the only master thief
with the skills to swipe it.
You have until midnight
to make the drop.
Tell anyone,
and Jake Jr. Gets it.
BMO...
destroy the tape.
[Grunts]
Are we on the level,
BMO?
I ain't no clown-town snitch,
baby.
I don't want Finn
hearing about this.
All right.
[Beeping]
[Laughs]
Oh, Brunard, are you sure?
Yeah, babe.
I'm totally famous,
and you love me.
W-What's happening?
What am I feeling now?
You are under the spell
of my face.
I got you, girl,
in my face trap,
and you love it.
[Monotone]
I... do.
Brunard,
don't ever leave me.
I'll give you everything...
my fabrics,
my dress patterns,
my marbles,
my social standing.
[Beeping]
Whoops! I gotta go.
Laters!
Dine and dash? I saw that!
- Hey, boss, I wanted to...
- Shut up, Tonya.
I gotta see my ex-wife!
Ohh.
[Telephone rings]
Hello.
Squeezy Mart.
[As boss]
Tonya, this is your boss!
Wait.
You were just here.
Yeah! Now I'm on the phone,
stupid!
Hey, do you think
I could leave early?
I'm, like, depressed.
What you could do is take all
the money out of the register
and give it to the two guys
out back by the dumpster!
[Sighs]
Okay.
Then can I go?
- Yes.
Here you go, dudes.
[Normal voice]
Thanks, man.
- Peace.
- Goodbye, fair lad.
[Beeping]
The master returns!
[Squeaking]
[Breathes deeply]
[Beeping]
Well, well.
From the shadows of dream,
the dog wakes to find its...
uh...
the dog wakes
to find its mangy tail
flopping in the dust
like a fish in a tree.
That fish is me...
Tiffany!
[Laughs]
I'm coming, Jake!
I'm coming!
[Door creaks]
Hi, guys.
Were you waiting for me
in the dark?
Tiffany wouldn't let us
turn them on.
Never mind that!
The real question is...
what's that slo-mo Finn
know about this?
[Cymbals rattling]
Hey, BMO, where's Jake?
Jake got back
with his old gang
and is going to rob
the Candy Kingdom.
[Laughs]
Okay, BMO.
[Chuckles]
You want to join
my primitive noise band?
[Trumpets]
[Bells jingle]
Huhhhh?
No.
I like organized sound.
Pshh!
♪ [Off-key music plays] ♪
La-la-la!
Whoo!
Nah, BMO's covering
for me.
So, what's the deal, Jake?
Yeah, why'd you
call us back?
I got a job
for you guys.
One last score...
the big one.
The baker's shard?
[Chuckles]
Are you for real, man?
Hey, that's crazy, Jake.
We always said,
"play it safe."
Can't you see, guys?
He's desperate.
Somebody got to him
'cause he's soft now.
What the...
pshh!
Tiffany!
I'm the same Jake!
I just stopped stealing,
mostly.
Because when you get older,
you're supposed to get into
other stuff,
like graphic design
or pottery.
It's called "growing up"!
I don't wanna do poetry...
I mean, pottery.
Dude! Are you guys
on board or what?!
You really got something
better to do?!
Really?!
I know you don't, Tiffany!
Glom you, Jake.
How are we gonna split
the baker's shard?
We ain't keeping it.
I'm passing the shard off
to a mystery dude.
What the?!
The dude has my kid.
My little Jake Jr.
[Clears throat]
I'm in.
We're in.
I know that vault
inside and out...
every guard rotation,
every camera,
every deadly trap.
And that safe is
locked up so tight,
it makes me wanna
spit out my guts
and cry about it.
Do you even have a plan,
Jake?!
I have the first part.
Okay, let's freakin' do this!
[Keyboard clicks]
Captain, the milk delivery
has arrived.
Well, check them in,
Private.
Yes, sir.
And, Private,
I'm very thirsty.
Bring me back the most delicious
flavor they have.
Yes, sir!
[Scribbling]
[Static]
Huh?
Now, what in the heck?
MAN'S VOICE:
I'm back with your milk, sir.
What flavor did you bring me,
private?
Banana, sir!
- What?!
- Banana milk!
Blagh! No!
The forbidden flavor!
It's...
delicious.
[Voices adjusting]
It's... it's... it's...
[as Captain]
It's delicious!
[Feedback]
Attention, all guards!
You are directed to report
immediately to the courtyard
for special training!
Okay, do your thing,
man.
Just like old times,
right, Jake?
When we were blood,
we'd follow each other
into the jaws of death
on a pale horse.
Not now, Tiffany.
Come on!
[Grunts]
- Ugh!
Today, we'll be working on
our battle "keeyahs."
Okay, men! Sound off!
[All yelling]
[Yelling continues]
All right, soldiers, time to
shred those pipes!
I wanna hear you scream!
[All screaming]
[Screaming continues]
Louder! Push it hard!
[Screaming intensifies]
[Clock ticking]
[Alarm rings]
[Screaming stops]
[Both cough]
[Lock clicks]
[Doors creak]
The baker's shard is on
the other side of that...
the corridor
of a thousand deaths.
Whoa!
Whoa!
Whoa!
Yow!
- [Growling]
Wow!
Whoa!
[Breathing heavily]
[Snakes hiss]
Whew!
I did it!
For Jake Jr.!
MAN:
Stop right there.
You!
Where's my daughter?!
Throw me the bakers shard,
and I'll let her go.
Yeah, right!
That's super-dumb!
JAKE JR:
Daddy! Please do what he says!
Hang on, sweetie!
Ungh!
[As Jake Jr.]
Thank you for saving me...
[normal voice]
Daddy!
[Laughter]
[Gasps]
You dirty...
[laughs]
Now...
uh...
I'm the dog,
and you're the tail!
Now you chase me!
You chase my dreams!
[Alarm ringing]
Alert. Security breach.
Alert.
[Growls]
[Tires screech]
[Tires squeal]
Jake Jr.!
[Growling]
[Tires screech]
Oh, crud!
Jake! I love you!
I love yo-o-o-o-u!
Shut it, Tiffany!
Give me my daughter!
Ta-da!
I totally double-crossed you!
Jake Jr?!
What the puke, girl?!
GARETH:
Let's get out of here!
[Tires squeal]
What the funky fresh,
honey?
I just wanted to be
like you.
Mom told me stories
about when you did crimes.
That was a long time ago...
before I knew it was
wrong!
I thought you'd be
proud of me.
[Sighs deeply]
I am.
I couldn't have done that
when I was your age.
I age fast, remember?
I'm 22!
Right.
I keep forgetting maths.
What are you gonna do
about the old crew?
Finn and I will bust
their apples tomorrow.
Or maybe the banana guards
will get 'em.
TOGETHER:
Wee-ooh! Wee-ooh! Wee-ooh!
Come on.
I'll take you home now.
- I love you, pops.
- I love you, too.
Don't stinkin' do this
to me again.
I'm old and fat. I'll probably
have a heart attack.
JAKE JR:
Okay.
Wait a minute!
You're doing a long con
right now, aren't you?
No.
Yes.
Now I'm really proud of you!
♪ Come along with me ♪
♪ And the butterflies and bees ♪
♪ We can wander through the forest ♪
♪ And do so as we please ♪
♪ Come along with me ♪
♪ To a cliff under a tree ♪
Ripped By mstoll