Adventure Time (2010–2018): Season 5, Episode 21 - The Suitor - full transcript
Peppermint Butler thinks Princess Bubblegum is spending too much time in her lab and decides she needs a suitor.
[Mouse squeaks]
[Penguins wenk]
[All cheering]
[Screeches]
♪ Adventure Time ♪
♪ Come on, grab your friends ♪
♪ We'll go to very distant lands ♪
♪ With Jake the Dog
and Finn the Human ♪
♪ The fun will never end ♪
♪ It's adventure time ♪
Ripped By mstoll
Mlwa mlwa mlwalla.
Mlwa mlwa, Lord Ogdoad.
Master of Level 8 Shadow World.
The willing vessel issues
forth its pure essence.
Ah. Heh heh.
Nom nom nom nom.
You must overtake the vessel as
night must overtake the day.
By your very nature,
you cannot deny my will!
Hello.
What jazz is this?
[Gasps]
Peppermint Butler?!
That's the last straw!
I will fill you with the shadow
of a thousand brown portals!
Oh, no, Ogdoad.
You are mine.
Peanut Butler!
Peppermint Butler!
Cease these dark magic
activities!
[Gasps]
Hey!
Let me go first!
I got stuff to do today!
What did you do that for?!
You neglect your duties
to the Princess.
She has been in her
lab for nine weeks.
She needs to get out,
socialize.
Look... her suitors.
Her faithful suitors,
waiting for a chance to
share her burdens.
No, man.
She won't date those old bags.
You must try.
The Candy Kingdom worries
for its leader,
and it worries for you,
Dark One.
[Sighs]
All right, you guys.
All you guys are gross.
How long have you been waiting
to court the Princess?
87 years
120 years!
I'm Gerald.
Geez!
How long have you
been here, Crusty?
300 years.
So what?
It's not too late,
right, boys?
ALL:
It's not too late!
Take me on a date!
It's my right!
Princess all night!
Shoosh!
What's your deal?
I'm Braco, and I was born to
court the Princess Bubblegum.
How old are you?
21 years.
I inherited my father's place
in line after his ascension.
Hey!
And you want to
court the Princess?
Yes.
My heart instructs me so.
All right, buddy.
I'm giving you a shot.
[Indistinct shouting]
It won't be easy
I was born for this.
Love will win on this day.
PEPPERMINT BUTLER:
Sounds good, man.
[Snoring]
Prubs!
Hey, what?
Pff! Who's that?
This is Braco.
Son of Logan,
who was begat by Hobus.
Okay. Yeah?
I want to take you...
on a date.
Thank you, Braco.
That's very sweet,
but no.
Princess, this lab reeks
like brown mist!
It's unhealthy.
You've got to get outside
and do some research on boys!
That is way out
of line, Peps,
and you guys are
donking up my research!
Hello! Donk! Donk!
BRACO:
Princess, I love you!
I-I love you so
much it hurts!
The pain... it...
Uhh.
Hmm.
What you're feeling
is called infatuation.
The pain is a product of you
over-valuing a projected,
imaginary relationship with me.
No, Princess.
What I feel is real.
Meet me in the garden tonight
and unlock the mystery of
m-e-e-e-e-e-e!
Braco!
Come to me tonight!
Okay, Braco.
But just for research,
all right?
Yes, Princess!
Good job, man!
You take it from here!
Yo, who's that with PB?
That's that Braco guy.
Are they on a date?
- No, Bro.
The Princess don't date.
Ah, look!
A miracle of nature like you.
Now hand it to me.
Hmm.
[Beeping]
Okay, I have what
I need for now.
Uh-huh.
Ca-caw!
[Screeching]
[Groans]
N-nope. No.
No tears for Braco.
What did she say?
"I have what
I need for now."
So she will see me again!
I shall not falter, Papa!
BRACO: Dear personal diary,
in a consequence of my
latest romantic misfortune,
I decided to consult the man who
knew best about her majesty.
Father's father.
Amongst his most dearest
possessions,
he kept a book containing every
secret of seduction through
superficiality.
The art of peacocking.
[Electricity crackling]
Hi, Braco.
Nice... hat.
I know. Right?
[Chuckles]
Heh heh heh.
I am peacocking you to
rally your attention.
Mm-hmm.
Um, so, what's
that on your head?
My crown.
Oh.
Uhh...
[groans]
Hmm.
Princess!
[Groans]
[Thunder crashes]
Dear personal diary...
I am in terrible pain.
Cuckoo! Cuckoo!
Uhhhhhhh!
[Inhales sharply]
She is in her castle somewhere.
A lonely heart.
Do not fear, Princess.
I won't let you down.
[Thunder crashes]
PEPPERMINT BUTLER: Princess,
Finn and Jake are here, as requested.
Hey, guys!
Hey, PB. What's up?
This is a soul stone.
I need one for something
I'm working on.
Of course, it's really rare,
but my scanners found one.
It's in the vapor swamps.
I printed a map with
all the detail.
PB, who's the new guy?
- What?
- Hey, man.
Oh.
That's Braco...
a suitor of mine.
Oh.
Cool.
That's cool.
You're dating.
That's cool.
See ya, Princess.
What'd you think
of that Braco guy?
I mean, he seems kind of weird
and passive and baby lambish
and too unheroic for Peebs.
And then I smashed
that peach!
Jake and Finn,
I seek your aid.
I need to ask
you for that map,
therewith I could bring
the soul stone to Bubblegum.
Then she'll love me!
That road you're
on leads to nowhere.
Oh! Oh!
Thank you!
Huu-ah!
This is as far as I go.
Hurry, man! Get off!
[Shrieks]
Oh!
[Groans]
Hey, I see you!
Oddsbodikins!
Uhhh!
[Sizzling]
[Sighs]
The soul stone.
This journey has
come to an end.
Ooh!
[Screams]
You broke my hands!
[Panting]
Ugh!
Stop!
ALL:
The beast! The beast!
[Roars]
Why have you stolen
my treasure, boy?
For the one I love.
Huh.
Take the stone.
Hmm.
BRACO:
Guess who.
[Sighs]
Braco?
Uhh! What happened to you?
Oh, look.
Can it be?
It's a soul stone!
Oh. Y-yeah.
Sorry, but I don't
need that anymore.
I just finished programming a
proper simulation of a soul.
In fact, this is much easier
to manipulate than a real one.
Braco?
Hmm.
[Clatter!]
Why won't she love me?!
[Gasps]
Set me free,
you tranch!
Give me the key to
the shadow realm!
Uhhh!
You said you were
going to handle this.
You are doing a bad job.
[Sighs]
All right. I got this.
Peace.
What's up, man?
PB's not into you?
Yeah, man.
I'm throwing in the towel.
Whoa. Come on.
PB's a tough nut,
but don't drip out.
Then you must help me...
to crack the nut.
No problem, man.
We'll use magic.
Shadow demon magic!
Say what?
For your freedom,
a spell.
Yes?
Make this man-noodle Braco
into a walking love magnet!
[Laughs evilly]
This I can do.
But can you pay the price,
Braco?
The price is your
freedom, man.
This price lies outside
of our arrangement.
To receive, you must pay.
Hmm. All right.
Well,
maybe no dark magic.
I'll pay any
price for love!
[Laughs]
Swazaa!
Aaahhh!
Release!
Who's that? What?
Raarghh!
[Sighs]
Am I a walking love magnet?
Well, you paid the price,
no doubt.
And I want to
have your babies.
To the Princess then!
Yo, wait!
What about me?!
And what's your
number-one priority?
To find someone special
to share my life with.
Awesome.
[Chuckles]
You ready to go
on some dates?
Uh, yeah.
Who should I date?
There's a guy named
Braco who's really nice.
Ooh. Where is he?
BRACO:
I'm here!
Braco?!
What happened to you?!
I paid the price for love.
Was it worth it?
Do you love me?
Yes, I love you.
Then marry me!
We'll travel the world,
have adventures,
make the babes,
get fat and weird,
and float up to 50th
dead world, right?
Oh, Braco.
I don't want
any of that mess.
I do love you, but it's
the undifferentiated love
I feel for all
candy citizens.
I couldn't permit one of my
citizens to suffer the way
I saw you
suffering over me.
And so I made you this.
Meet my doppleganger...
Pbot.
[Clunk!]
Uh, this feels super-wrong.
Oh, Braco!
[Smooches]
Let's get out of
this smelly lab.
Okay!
[Snap!]
Thank you, Princess!
Whoo!
You're welcome, my love.
Where is he?
Where's Braco?!
I let him go, Peps.
I knew he couldn't
be happy without me,
so I built him
a robo-wife!
You should have
given him to me!
[Slap]
[Indistinct singing]
[Singing continues]
FINN:
This party is so crazy!
Ripped By mstoll
[Penguins wenk]
[All cheering]
[Screeches]
♪ Adventure Time ♪
♪ Come on, grab your friends ♪
♪ We'll go to very distant lands ♪
♪ With Jake the Dog
and Finn the Human ♪
♪ The fun will never end ♪
♪ It's adventure time ♪
Ripped By mstoll
Mlwa mlwa mlwalla.
Mlwa mlwa, Lord Ogdoad.
Master of Level 8 Shadow World.
The willing vessel issues
forth its pure essence.
Ah. Heh heh.
Nom nom nom nom.
You must overtake the vessel as
night must overtake the day.
By your very nature,
you cannot deny my will!
Hello.
What jazz is this?
[Gasps]
Peppermint Butler?!
That's the last straw!
I will fill you with the shadow
of a thousand brown portals!
Oh, no, Ogdoad.
You are mine.
Peanut Butler!
Peppermint Butler!
Cease these dark magic
activities!
[Gasps]
Hey!
Let me go first!
I got stuff to do today!
What did you do that for?!
You neglect your duties
to the Princess.
She has been in her
lab for nine weeks.
She needs to get out,
socialize.
Look... her suitors.
Her faithful suitors,
waiting for a chance to
share her burdens.
No, man.
She won't date those old bags.
You must try.
The Candy Kingdom worries
for its leader,
and it worries for you,
Dark One.
[Sighs]
All right, you guys.
All you guys are gross.
How long have you been waiting
to court the Princess?
87 years
120 years!
I'm Gerald.
Geez!
How long have you
been here, Crusty?
300 years.
So what?
It's not too late,
right, boys?
ALL:
It's not too late!
Take me on a date!
It's my right!
Princess all night!
Shoosh!
What's your deal?
I'm Braco, and I was born to
court the Princess Bubblegum.
How old are you?
21 years.
I inherited my father's place
in line after his ascension.
Hey!
And you want to
court the Princess?
Yes.
My heart instructs me so.
All right, buddy.
I'm giving you a shot.
[Indistinct shouting]
It won't be easy
I was born for this.
Love will win on this day.
PEPPERMINT BUTLER:
Sounds good, man.
[Snoring]
Prubs!
Hey, what?
Pff! Who's that?
This is Braco.
Son of Logan,
who was begat by Hobus.
Okay. Yeah?
I want to take you...
on a date.
Thank you, Braco.
That's very sweet,
but no.
Princess, this lab reeks
like brown mist!
It's unhealthy.
You've got to get outside
and do some research on boys!
That is way out
of line, Peps,
and you guys are
donking up my research!
Hello! Donk! Donk!
BRACO:
Princess, I love you!
I-I love you so
much it hurts!
The pain... it...
Uhh.
Hmm.
What you're feeling
is called infatuation.
The pain is a product of you
over-valuing a projected,
imaginary relationship with me.
No, Princess.
What I feel is real.
Meet me in the garden tonight
and unlock the mystery of
m-e-e-e-e-e-e!
Braco!
Come to me tonight!
Okay, Braco.
But just for research,
all right?
Yes, Princess!
Good job, man!
You take it from here!
Yo, who's that with PB?
That's that Braco guy.
Are they on a date?
- No, Bro.
The Princess don't date.
Ah, look!
A miracle of nature like you.
Now hand it to me.
Hmm.
[Beeping]
Okay, I have what
I need for now.
Uh-huh.
Ca-caw!
[Screeching]
[Groans]
N-nope. No.
No tears for Braco.
What did she say?
"I have what
I need for now."
So she will see me again!
I shall not falter, Papa!
BRACO: Dear personal diary,
in a consequence of my
latest romantic misfortune,
I decided to consult the man who
knew best about her majesty.
Father's father.
Amongst his most dearest
possessions,
he kept a book containing every
secret of seduction through
superficiality.
The art of peacocking.
[Electricity crackling]
Hi, Braco.
Nice... hat.
I know. Right?
[Chuckles]
Heh heh heh.
I am peacocking you to
rally your attention.
Mm-hmm.
Um, so, what's
that on your head?
My crown.
Oh.
Uhh...
[groans]
Hmm.
Princess!
[Groans]
[Thunder crashes]
Dear personal diary...
I am in terrible pain.
Cuckoo! Cuckoo!
Uhhhhhhh!
[Inhales sharply]
She is in her castle somewhere.
A lonely heart.
Do not fear, Princess.
I won't let you down.
[Thunder crashes]
PEPPERMINT BUTLER: Princess,
Finn and Jake are here, as requested.
Hey, guys!
Hey, PB. What's up?
This is a soul stone.
I need one for something
I'm working on.
Of course, it's really rare,
but my scanners found one.
It's in the vapor swamps.
I printed a map with
all the detail.
PB, who's the new guy?
- What?
- Hey, man.
Oh.
That's Braco...
a suitor of mine.
Oh.
Cool.
That's cool.
You're dating.
That's cool.
See ya, Princess.
What'd you think
of that Braco guy?
I mean, he seems kind of weird
and passive and baby lambish
and too unheroic for Peebs.
And then I smashed
that peach!
Jake and Finn,
I seek your aid.
I need to ask
you for that map,
therewith I could bring
the soul stone to Bubblegum.
Then she'll love me!
That road you're
on leads to nowhere.
Oh! Oh!
Thank you!
Huu-ah!
This is as far as I go.
Hurry, man! Get off!
[Shrieks]
Oh!
[Groans]
Hey, I see you!
Oddsbodikins!
Uhhh!
[Sizzling]
[Sighs]
The soul stone.
This journey has
come to an end.
Ooh!
[Screams]
You broke my hands!
[Panting]
Ugh!
Stop!
ALL:
The beast! The beast!
[Roars]
Why have you stolen
my treasure, boy?
For the one I love.
Huh.
Take the stone.
Hmm.
BRACO:
Guess who.
[Sighs]
Braco?
Uhh! What happened to you?
Oh, look.
Can it be?
It's a soul stone!
Oh. Y-yeah.
Sorry, but I don't
need that anymore.
I just finished programming a
proper simulation of a soul.
In fact, this is much easier
to manipulate than a real one.
Braco?
Hmm.
[Clatter!]
Why won't she love me?!
[Gasps]
Set me free,
you tranch!
Give me the key to
the shadow realm!
Uhhh!
You said you were
going to handle this.
You are doing a bad job.
[Sighs]
All right. I got this.
Peace.
What's up, man?
PB's not into you?
Yeah, man.
I'm throwing in the towel.
Whoa. Come on.
PB's a tough nut,
but don't drip out.
Then you must help me...
to crack the nut.
No problem, man.
We'll use magic.
Shadow demon magic!
Say what?
For your freedom,
a spell.
Yes?
Make this man-noodle Braco
into a walking love magnet!
[Laughs evilly]
This I can do.
But can you pay the price,
Braco?
The price is your
freedom, man.
This price lies outside
of our arrangement.
To receive, you must pay.
Hmm. All right.
Well,
maybe no dark magic.
I'll pay any
price for love!
[Laughs]
Swazaa!
Aaahhh!
Release!
Who's that? What?
Raarghh!
[Sighs]
Am I a walking love magnet?
Well, you paid the price,
no doubt.
And I want to
have your babies.
To the Princess then!
Yo, wait!
What about me?!
And what's your
number-one priority?
To find someone special
to share my life with.
Awesome.
[Chuckles]
You ready to go
on some dates?
Uh, yeah.
Who should I date?
There's a guy named
Braco who's really nice.
Ooh. Where is he?
BRACO:
I'm here!
Braco?!
What happened to you?!
I paid the price for love.
Was it worth it?
Do you love me?
Yes, I love you.
Then marry me!
We'll travel the world,
have adventures,
make the babes,
get fat and weird,
and float up to 50th
dead world, right?
Oh, Braco.
I don't want
any of that mess.
I do love you, but it's
the undifferentiated love
I feel for all
candy citizens.
I couldn't permit one of my
citizens to suffer the way
I saw you
suffering over me.
And so I made you this.
Meet my doppleganger...
Pbot.
[Clunk!]
Uh, this feels super-wrong.
Oh, Braco!
[Smooches]
Let's get out of
this smelly lab.
Okay!
[Snap!]
Thank you, Princess!
Whoo!
You're welcome, my love.
Where is he?
Where's Braco?!
I let him go, Peps.
I knew he couldn't
be happy without me,
so I built him
a robo-wife!
You should have
given him to me!
[Slap]
[Indistinct singing]
[Singing continues]
FINN:
This party is so crazy!
Ripped By mstoll